Hap and Leonard (2016) s03e06 Episode Script

Monsoon Mambo

1 Previously on Hap and Leonard.
Drive as fast and as far as that gas'll take ya.
Well, sir, we aim to finish what we started.
You shouldn't have come here.
[GUNSHOT] Step away, right now.
Get out of here.
Those boys are out at Bacon's house.
Cantuck! Let's go, man! I wanna find your friend.
[SIREN WAILING, POLICE RADIO CHATTER] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] - MAN: Let's go.
You got him? - MAN: Yeah.
[RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES] [THUNDER RUMBLING] [GASPS] [GROANING] Help! [CREDITS] S03E06 Monsoon Mambo [MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING] Look at me, boy.
Cryin' ain't buyin' in this world.
All them cowboy books none of 'em ever cries, does they? Hmm.
Them boys that took your money, they was older than you, huh? Scared you.
You didn't like how that feel, did you? Feel like got ice in your spine, ants in your belly.
Feel like you wanna crawl instead of walk like a man.
[SLAPS] Now that hurt, didn't it? But only on the outside.
Life is full of things gonna hurt you on the inside.
Hurt you bad, real bad.
Hurt you so bad, make you wanna shrivel up and get small, disappear like you ain't you no more.
Them boys took more than your money.
They took what made you, you.
Somebody take something from you, you got two choices one you can live with, one you can't.
Man don't stand up for what's his, ain't no man.
Now you know what you gotta do, son.
Take it back.
[DEPARTING FOOTSTEPS] You one sorry ass sight.
You know what you need to do, son? You gotta take it back.
Do it to it.
Yippee-ki-yay! Hi-ho Silver and away! [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] [ENGINE TURNS OFF] [BIRD SQUAWKING] [IGNITION ALERT DINGING] [KNOCK ON DOOR] [ROOSTER CROWS] [DOG BARKING] Hey.
What happened to the squirrel? I shot him.
What'd he do? Snuck up on me.
Mm.
They'll do that to ya.
You got a minute? Oh.
Uh, yeah.
Sit down.
Not that one.
[HAP GROANS] [CHARLIE SIGHS] You talk to Leonard recently? Nope.
He's healin' up fast.
Good.
Think it's about time you went by to see him, though, don't you think? [LIGHTER CLICKS] Mm, yeah.
I will.
I know what happened in that alley was bad.
Sometimes under stress, fellas close to skin and bone can feel kind of, uh Kind of what? Kind of a postpartum-style depression.
Me and Leonard didn't have no babies.
All right, postpartum scary event syndrome, then.
I think you're just making shit up.
[SIGHS] Look Something bad happens to a couple fellas and they survive, they tend to blame each other.
Find ways not to be around one another 'cause when they are, it just brings 'em right back to where it all happened.
[VOICE BREAKS] I love Leonard.
He's my brother.
W-when I saw that knife at his balls, I [SNIFFLES] I was glad it was him and not me.
And he knew that.
He saw it in my eyes.
[SIGHS] Oh, hell.
I'm glad it was Leonard in that alley and not me.
It's just the way it is.
We we just human.
Them people in that alley, they they weren't human.
Yeah, they were.
We can be some mean monkeys.
You and Leonard met a couple of 'em, and they just took a chunk out ya ass and a piece of your heart.
[GRUNTS] You know, sometimes you gotta stare your shadows in the eye.
Or see if they got eyes.
You don't, they just gonna whoosh.
Flutter around you the rest of your life.
In the end, we all just end up like that squirrel out there.
Goodbye, Charlie.
[BUTTON CLICKS] [FLORIDA AND MAN SHOUT, STRUGGLE] [WHIRRING] [HEAVY BREATHING] [GRUNTS] [CAN FIZZES] [EXHALES SHARPLY] [CREAKING] [METALLIC GRINDING, WHIRRING] You hear from Cantuck? Crickets.
Shit.
- You know, uh - Don't say it, Charlie.
[DOOR CREAKING] [DOOR CLOSES] Odds are they ain't gon' find her.
And even if they do it ain't gonna be the way you hopin'.
Either way, she's gone, partner.
I should've went there the first time she called.
Hell, I should've put my foot down, never let her go in the first place.
Instead, I send them two dumb dickwads.
Well, hell, them two dumb dickwads are in pretty bad shape.
- You know what I meant.
- Now them two dumb dickwads almost got themselves killed doing you a favor.
- Save it, Detective.
- Doin' your job you should've done yourself.
Shut up, Charlie.
You know, they ain't always got their shit together, them two.
Hell, they almost never got their shit together.
But by God, them boys you can count on.
But then they'd know that if you'd gone out to check on 'em.
I got my own conscious.
I don't need yours on top of it.
Horseshit.
Sorry, but I couldn't help overhear some of that.
Oh, that son of a bitch burns me up sometimes.
Well, that's because sometimes that son of a bitch is right.
What do you want, Peg? Phone call for you.
Line two.
FBI.
Lieutenant Hanson speaking.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] [EXHALES DEEPLY] Hey, you you goin' somewhere? I-I was comin' to see you.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Charlie said you was, uh, holed up like Dean Martin in "Rio Bravo," so Yeah.
I hate it when Charlie's right.
Yeah, I do, too.
[RAIN FALLING] Well, um, so we good? Yeah, we good.
All right.
[SCREEN DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES] [FRONT DOOR CLOSES] Hey, uh, look I just want to thank you for putting my pecker back in my pants.
I know it wasn't easy for ya.
Well, no big thing, Leonard.
[STIFLES LAUGH] [CHUCKLES] [LAUGHS] Come here.
- LEONARD: All right, all right.
- HAP: All right, yeah.
You need to listen to this again.
Come on.
[BUTTON CLICKS] [EXHALES SHARPLY] [CREAKING, THUD] [METALLIC GRINDING, WHIRRING] Yeah.
[BUTTON CLICKS] What'd that sound like to you? Some kind of big machine or somethin'.
Right.
Something like a wood chipper.
Exactly like a wood chipper.
Like the one they got out at Brown's Christmas tree farm? Oh.
Jesus.
We was right.
And that that is why we couldn't find her.
Son of a bitch.
You tell Hanson about this? No.
Not yet.
You know, I'm thinking we don't tell him.
Oh, those boys down at Grovetown, they think they're above the law.
They got good reason for thinking that, and his name is Truman Brown.
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING] [VOICE BREAKS] Every time I hear that name, I just wanna crawl up under the bed.
Yeah.
Yeah, me, too.
[THUNDERCLAP] There was a time I used to think I was unbreakable.
[SCOFFS] Now I hear a sound, I tense up.
Hear the same sound, I shit my pants.
Just keep seeing that crowd comin' for me.
Tell you the truth, if they were to come back for me again I'd probably curl up like a little baby - and let 'em take me.
- No, you wouldn't.
You ain't got it in you.
I don't know about that, Hap.
I've been sleeping with a goddamn revolver under my pillow.
Does that sound like me? Shit.
Hell, I'm sleeping with a shotgun.
Yes, it it does sound like you.
[WHISPERS] I cry at night, Hap.
[VOICE BREAKS] I break down.
I keep having these nightmares.
It's it's like [EXHALES] [CRYING] I keep feeling them just beatin' and kickin' on me.
No.
[INHALES SHARPLY] I know.
Me, too.
When I wake up, I'm still there.
Well, this ain't just about Florida no more.
This is about you and it's about me.
[INHALES SHARPLY] And it's about Brown paying for what he is and what he'd done.
Shit.
[SIGHS HEAVILY] We gotta go back to Grovetown, don't we? Yeah.
We do.
I was hoping you'd say that.
This time, we go, we gotta go all the way.
Sun up or sun down.
Got any guns left besides that shotgun? No.
But I know who do.
LEON: You guys going out there to punch some Klan lights out? - LEONARD: That's the plan.
- Take your choice.
No charge.
Yeah.
Warms my heart just thinking about blowing some holes in them freaks.
You guys need some help? You know me and Clinton sure wouldn't mind - whupping some Klan ass.
- Damn sure don't.
It ain't your battle.
[CYLINDER CLICKS] Thanks.
[VEHICLE APPROACHES] [SIREN WHOOPS] HAP AND LEONARD: Put them guns away.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] Hell, no.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] Special Agent Glen, FBI.
Chief Cantuck is dead.
- What? - Somebody put a bullet through his head.
Jesus.
Now Chief Reynolds told me - that you two went down to Grovetown.
- Chief Reynolds? - LEONARD: That sure happened fast, huh? - Mm-hmm.
GLEN: Said you showed up in Grovetown, you assaulted some of the townfolk, you had a disagreement with the Chief, and then you left.
Bullshit.
We were the ones who were assaulted.
I got 12 witnesses who say different.
From what I hear, you got your head up the Klan's ass, Chief.
Hey, hey, hey.
No smoking in my house, Charlie.
You're right.
Sorry.
Now I was there.
I can vouch for these two.
Who will vouch for you? You were out of your jurisdiction without the professional courtesy to tell us you were there.
Well, Sneed and Bacon, they were there.
- They know what happened.
- That's why we're here, dumbass.
They're suspects in Cantuck's murder and they're missing.
And I'm thinking you two tell me where they are.
No, we can't.
Not a clue.
Sneed used to live in Laborde.
He's got history with all four of these guys.
Trust me, we don't miss him.
REYNOLDS: You haven't seen him, have you? How 'bout you, Lieutenant Hanson? This is my jurisdiction now.
And I don't like your implication.
The murder of a police officer is a federal case, so your jurisdiction just became his.
I suggest we hold these two as material witnesses.
No, hold on.
No one's getting arrested right now, Chief.
Agent Glen, if I may? Who brought the Feds in on this? Call came from the Governor himself.
He wanted me to follow up on a tip he got from a Grovetown resident, one whose opinion he values highly.
Oh.
[SIGHS] Wouldn't happen to be Truman Brown, would it? Brown's one of the men they assaulted.
So why don't you go on back to Grovetown, wash out your Klan robe? Hmm.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] Not in my house.
GLEN: Here's what's gonna happen next.
Collins and Pine, you're gonna stay right here.
We'll call it house arrest for now as material witnesses.
You two, you better get your ducks in a row 'cause I'm-a start digging.
This hole gets deep enough, you might end up in it.
As for now, I suggest everybody gets a good night sleep and calls their lawyers.
I-I would if I could, but I can't, so [CLICKS TONGUE] Chief Reynolds, you come with me.
Y'all have a Happy New Year now.
[FRONT DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES] [EXHALES DEEPLY] That woman oughta rattle before she bites.
She make me glad I'm gay.
Mm.
[THUNDER RUMBLING] [INSECTS CHIRPING] Lord, as I give my spirit over to you, the power of love and a sound mind.
Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.
Goodness and mercy.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] [GASPS] Hello? Is somebody there? [POUNDING] If you're out there, please help me! Help! Somebody out there? Hello? Hi! Oh! Can you help me, please? Can you help me? I'm locked in here.
Hey.
Hey, girl, I-I know you.
I've seen you before.
Can can you find something to to pry the trunk open with? Can you help me? I-I-I think there's a crowbar or something around here somewhere.
Wait! Wait, where you goin'?! Wait, get me out of here, please! Please, I gotta find somebody to help! Please, get me out! Please! [POUNDING] [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] REYNOLDS: Told ya they'd run.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] [TIRES SCREECH] [GEARS SHIFT, ENGINE TURNS OFF] [CAR DOOR CLOSES] Hello, officer.
Hey! What's happenin'? [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] LARRY DAVIS: Well, it's floodin' down in Texas All the telephones lines are down ["TEXAS FLOOD" PLAYING ON RADIO] Well, it's floodin' down in Texas [PUSHES RADIO BUTTON] [RAP MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, hell, no.
No! Mnh-mnh.
[PUSHES RADIO BUTTON] ["TEXAS FLOOD" CONTINUES] - Yeah.
- Whoo.
That's better.
Well, I've been trying to call my baby What do you think all them switches are for? I don't know.
Must be the bass or something.
[SWITCH CLICKS] Whoa! - LEONARD: What the - Hey! Hold it! - Hap! Hold the - [HAP SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY] Whoa! [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY] - I am! I - Whoa! Aah! [TIRES SCREECHING] - LEONARD: Whoa! [BOTH SHOUT INDISTINCTLY] [HYDRAULICS STOP] Okay, whoa! I think I just swallowed one of my kidneys.
Don't touch them switches! You told me to touch it! Ney, I asked you what they were for.
Man! Damn.
It don't get much better than that.
Sonny Knox here, taking some licks, but keeping things afloat here at 96.
6.
Moses got nothing on us.
[WATER DRIPPING] Flash flood warnings are in effect for the entire region, and we just got word that they're pumping out the Old Mill Dam to keep it from overflowing unlike my radio station, which seems like a wading pool.
[FORCED LAUGH] Yeah, kids, stay home, no school, no buses, make some hot chocolate, and drive your parents crazy.
The Governor has declared a state of emergency and issued a voluntary evacuation for all low-lying areas.
I, Sonny Knox, will keep you informed as the storm progresses.
In the meantime, break out the rowboats, life jackets, and settle down for this classic riff.
This one's coming to ya from Brown's Christmas tree farm, where everybody's chipper.
We could've picked a better time to do this.
Next time we plan a war, remind me to check the weather first.
Mm-hmm.
[BILLY JO SHAVER'S "THE HOTTES THING IN TOWN" PLAYING] She walks the walks and talks the talk The hottest thing in town [CAR DOOR OPENS, ENGINE TURNS OFF] Wow.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES] I thought you guys got away, you stay away.
HAP: Hey, Maude.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry about all the mess.
Well, things get be fixed.
People can't.
We lookin' for Truman Brown.
What for? Son of a bitch Brown runs this town now.
Got that ice queen Reynolds in his pocket.
[SCOFFS] This what America's supposed to be? I don't wanna live here no more.
You know where he is? He's still in town.
Anybody with half a brain be gone by now, but he was by here with his boys this morning.
Why? What y'all plannin'? Finish what we started.
You're gonna be outgunned.
Cut a snake off by the head, the body ain't worth shit no more, right? Well, I guess you boys owe him some.
'Bout time somebody had the balls to stand up to that son of a bitch.
You heard from Bacon? No.
But I heard that Brown and Reynolds are lookin' for him.
They look hard enough, they gon' find him.
That was Slim Harpo Right.
With "Raining in My Heart," coming at you from 96.
6.
I'll be holding the water back with a barrel of blues and keeping y'all up to date on the latest storm development.
Come on.
Bye, Maude.
[LIGHTER CLICKS] [LIGHTER CLOSES] [EXHALES SLOWLY] [MOUTHING WORDS] [THUNDERCLAP] SONNY: Just got a special request from Hap Collins and Leonard Pine.
The boys are back in town and would like Mr.
Truman Brown to know they will be waiting for him at Tim's Rocket Garage.
So bring your noisemakers and join the boys from Laborde for a bang bang New Tear celebration.
[ENGINE REVS] Go get 'em, boys.
Nice knowing you.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] [CRYING] Somebody, I'm in here! Can anybody Ah.
Ah! [GASPS] [CRIES] Damn! Damn it! [CRYING] Please, somebody help me! [POUNDING CONTINUES] Help me! [SOBS] Somebody help me! [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] [THUNDER RUMBLING] Say, Hap.
Uh-huh.
Maybe we shouldn't stand in front of the gas pump.
Oh, yeah.
Good thinking, Leonard.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] [FROG RIBBITS] [RIBBITS] Maybe Truman Brown don't listen to the blues.
Maybe he like to listen to that old gospel music.
Mm.
Then again, maybe not, huh? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
We can always go home and roast some marshmallows.
- Ohh.
- Watch some TV.
We can call Charlie over to give us a puppet show.
Yeah.
That's starting to sound like a good idea.
[CLATTERING] Hello.
[RACKS RIFLE] [VEHICLE APPROACHING] [AIR HISSES] [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] [DOOR CREAKS] This ain't a hold up, is it? No.
But if you know what's good for ya, you'll clear out before the shootin' starts.
Shootin'? You seen Truman Brown and his boys? No.
But I heard about that run-in you had with him.
Let me just, uh, drop this car, and I'll clear out faster than a scalded cat.
I don't wanna be here if y'all are gonna tango with Brown and his boys.
I'll be out of your hair in a jiff.
[CLANK] [METALLIC GRINDING, WHIRRING] Uhh! Get up.
Get up! Aah! Please don't hit me no more! Just tell me the truth.
Tell me! [GRUNTS] What happened to Florida?! Where is she?! Okay, I'll tell you.
[GROANS] I'll tell you! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] Tim, I'm gonna need another night.
[METAL CREAKING] I found it.
[LAUGHS] Bobby Joe's granddaddy's lost song.
[LAUGHS] Get an earful.
Come on.
[LAUGHS] Ooh! This is worth a whole lot of money, isn't it? Yeah, Bobby Joe said so.
Oh, this belongs to Bobby Joe's family.
Let me introduce into evidence a different point of view it belongs to whoever finds it.
[SCOFFS] That's not how this works.
[REEL REWINDS] Uh Hold on.
Just a second.
Look, I'm willing to split with you, 50/50.
What do you say? We'll be partners.
It's not ours to sell.
Oh, okay, 40/60.
Wait a minute.
Just wait a minute.
You ain't thinkin' this through, sweetie.
Don't ever call me sweetie.
[THUNDERCLAP] - [TIM GRUNTS] - FLORIDA: Stop it! Oh! [THUD] [BOTH GRUNT] [GRUNTS] - [TIM GRUNTS] - FLORIDA: No! Aah! [GROANS] Why did you do it? It wasn't me.
I swear to you.
[GRUNTS] [POP] What the hell? HAP: You killed her, you son of a bitch! Hey, we got to find her! [THUNDERCLAP] [GRUNTS] [PANTING] I didn't kill her.
I-I didn't do it.
It was an accident.
I swear, an accident.
[THUNDER RUMBLING] [GROANS] [SNIFFLES] [METAL CONTINUES CREAKING, WIND HOWLING] [WIND GUSTS] Oh! Oh, jeez.
[GRUNTS SOFTLY] [WHIMPERING, SNIFFLES] [SNIFFLES] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] [THUNDERCLAP] [TIM GRUNTS] - Look, please don't hurt me again! - Get up! - I'm just - Take us to her! You hear me? [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] Come on.
Take us to her.
- Yeah, okay.
Okay.
- Take us to her.
[THUNDERCLAP] HAP: Which one? - [SHOUTING] Which one?! - I don't remember! - It was dark.
It was a mistake.
- You better remember! It's one of these! I think it was one of these! Shit! - Aah! - Come here! Which goddamn car? I don't know.
[GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] Oh! Which one?! [GASPS] Hello! I don't know! He don't know, Hap.
We gotta search each one.
Every single one! [POUNDING] Goddamn it.
[POUNDING CONTINUES] Help! Florida? Florida! [GASPS] Hap! Hap, is that you? Florida? [THUNDER RUMBLING] Florida, where are ya?! Hang on there, baby! You in here? - Hap! - Florida? - Hey, over here, Hap! - Florida! - Hap, she's in here! Hey! Ah! - Florida! - Yeah! [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] - Florida! - Hold on now! Hold on! Come on.
Florida, baby, we're comin'.
One, two, three! Aah! Hap! Hap! - [SOBS] - Oh.
Baby.
Come on.
Baby, Baby.
Florida, you you all right? [LAUGHS] Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
- Florida, sweetie, you okay? - [CRYING] You okay? Oh, god.
Thank god.
Hap.
[COCKS GUN] [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING] Get down.
Get down over there! [SPITS] TRUMAN: You just couldn't let it be, could ya? You wanted to see me? Here I am! [THUNDER RUMBLING] [VEHICLE APPROACHING] [TIRES SCREECH] [LAUGHS] You boys are a couple of bad pennies.
And I hate pennies.
Hold it right there, Reynolds! Drop your guns! [THUNDERCLAP] [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] [GUNSHOT] [GUNSHOT] [GUNSHOT] [GAGGING] [WHIMPERS] [GURGLES] Aah! [GRUNTS] Brown! You ain't gonna shoot me, you son of a bitch! You a peace lover, boy! [GUNSHOT] Uhh! I ain't your boy.
[GRUNTS] Please, don't! It was Brown! He hung Bobby Joe, him and Reynolds! Please, don't kill us! You scum ain't worth killin'.
[RUMBLING] [WOOD CRACKING] BOONE: Run! Run! My god.
[WOOD CRACKING] - Florida! - Run! Run! HAP: Come on, get in the car! Come on.
- Bacon, get in the car, quick! - LEONARD: Run! Come on! Get in there! Get in the car.
Get in.
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] [CAR DOOR CLOSES] [GASPS] [ALL SHOUT] Oh! [WATER LAPPING] [RIBBITTING] [CROW CAWING] [WATER FLOWING] [BIRDS CHIRPING] [GRUNTS] [COUGHING] [GASPS] [CROW CAWING] [CROW CAWING] [WOOD RATTLES] [COUGHS] [GRUNTS] I'm all right.
I'm all right.
Hap! Hap! [COUGHS] Come on! Come on.
[COUGHS, GRUNTS] Oh.
Oh, god! Oh, god! BOTH: Oh, god.
Oh, god.
HAP: Damn.
[LEONARD CRIES] - HAP: Hey.
Hey.
- [LEONARD GRUNTS] Come here.
[BIRDS CHIRPING] [WATER SLOSHING] [MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING] [SLOW-TEMPO BLUES SONG PLAYING] MAN: Dreamer I've been called A dreamer BELINDA: They say three things can't be hidden With no future at all the sun, the moon, and the truth.
Oh, but that's all right Hate makes ya blind I know love sets ya free That you know and hope breaks your heart.
I'm more than a dreamer Hap Collins found out the hard way.
And with ya, darlin' I can make it Love never dies By and by only people do.