Hart to Hart (1979) s01e05 Episode Script

This is my boss, Jonathan Hart, a self-made millionaire.
He's quite a guy.
This is Mrs.
H.
She's gorgeous.
What a terrific lady.
By the way, my name is Max.
I take care of them, which ain't easy 'cause their hobby is murder.
You made me love you I didn't wanna do it I didn't wanna do it You made me love you And all the time you knew it I guess you always knew it You made me happy sometimes You made me glad But there were times, dear You made me feel so sad I wouldn't sigh for I didn't wanna tell you I didn't wanna tell you I want some love that's true Yes I do, indeed I do You know I do You know you've got the kind of kisses That I'd die for You know you made me love you Don't you think that this is carrying togetherness a little too far? Just think of all the gasoline we're saving.
- Look, Ma, no hands.
- Hey! Yeah, but no feet is a no-no.
This is a 50-50 proposition.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Well, I thought I was being very generous by letting you get all the exercise.
Oh, thanks a lot.
Thank you.
One chocolate, one vanilla, coming up.
Great.
I'm sorry, darling.
I'll just take yours.
Here you are, boy.
Put yourself through college.
I already graduated.
Summa cum laude.
- But I'm saving up for a beer.
- Have the first belch on me.
I've heard about saying it with flowers but this is like bringing sand to the beach.
Well, at least the boxes are getting smaller.
This is crazy.
Really crazy.
What does the card say? Probably the same as all the others: "To Jonathan, with love.
" "One pure white flower for your lapel on our first date.
" "Our first date.
" I don't get what's going on.
Whatever it is, it's gone too far.
Yeah, first it was all those nocturnal hang-ups on the phone and now the place looks like we're throwing a wake.
The whole thing's giving me the creeps.
- I'm just gonna call the police.
- Darling it is not against the law to make a phone call and hang up.
It should be, at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning.
It is also not against the law to send flowers, even enough for a funeral.
I will call the florist and see if the description of the girl is the same.
Hello? Who is this? Are you the person who's been sending me flowers? There's somebody on the other end, but they're not saying anything.
Trace the call.
I'd like to know your name.
I'd like to thank you personally.
Yeah, I appreciated your note, too.
By the way, where are Lieutenant Doyle's office? This is Jennifer Hart.
I wonder if you'd do me a favour and trace a call? The private line.
Thank you.
I'd like to get together with you, any time.
As soon as possible.
Forget it.
They hung up.
Hello? Hello? I'm sorry.
Thank you very much.
They've hung up.
Thank you.
I'll have the police put a tap on our phone.
Yeah.
Hello? Who is this? You know who it is, don't you, darling? Are you the person who's been sending me flowers? Of course I am.
From me to you, Jonathan, with love.
I'd like to thank you.
I'd like to know your name.
You know who it is.
You know my name.
I'm Jennifer.
Yeah, I really appreciate the note, too.
By the way, where are we going to go on our first date? And when? It's your favourite.
It'll be a surprise, and I've told Peggy to take care of all the details.
I'd like to get together with you, any time.
As soon as possible.
You will, darling.
You will.
You will, darling.
You will.
What a gorgeous negligee.
Jennifer, that's super.
I must have been thinking of you when I designed it.
Gorgeous.
This I can't resist.
Well, my darling, don't.
It's fabulous.
Now I'm gonna put it in the bag.
- What a great hat.
- It is.
Try it on.
I love it.
You look like a regular Mata Hari.
Tell me your secrets, General, ah? I am only a simple working girl.
I'm glad you have a boutique to fall back on.
Well, if the hat doesn't kill them, then the hatpin will.
- I'll take them both.
- Great! Excuse me, but that's my package.
Jonathan? How is it going with our friends from Japan, Marcus? Well, do you want the least common denominator, Jonathan? They want the franchise, but they won't meet your price.
What do you suggest? I suggest that you make a decision.
But, Marcus, that's why I rely on you.
Jonathan, I don't know if it will be all that profitable or not but I can tell you this: they're good people.
I know them.
And it's a good company.
Okay.
Tell them I'll be in there, in a minute.
Thanks.
Deanne, did that order from Tony's Ticket Agency arrive? Yes, sir.
Tony just brought them over.
Thanks.
Good morning, gentlemen.
After exploring the possibilities, Mr.
Hart I'm afraid we cannot possibly You gentlemen didn't fly halfway around the world to explore the possibilities.
You came to make a deal.
See Las Vegas.
Meet Ann-Margret.
Three ringside tickets for her dinner show.
The lady will share a bottle of wine with you after her performance, in the dressing room.
My company plane is waiting to fly you there right now.
It's a deal.
- Have a good time.
- Thank you.
You're a wonder, Jonathan.
I never knew you knew Ann-Margret.
Are you kidding? I'm the one that suggested the hyphen.
Mr.
Hart.
I've got your ticket for tonight.
My ticket? For what? I knew something was screwy.
Okay.
The jazz concert tonight? Tony's Tickets just delivered it along with the Vegas order.
One ticket? What would I do with one ticket for the jazz concert? Oh, my God, I knew there was something weird.
Tony said you had someone place the order earlier this morning.
You do like jazz, don't you, Mr.
Hart? Yeah, so does Mrs.
Hart.
- Okay, I'm gonna call Tony and the - That's okay, Deanne, I'll call Tony myself.
Will you tell Stanley Friesen I'd like to see him? I'll be back in a minute.
Okay, sir.
- I'm sorry, Mr.
Hart.
- That's all right, Peggy.
I'm sorry.
- You've been shopping? - Yes, and I'm so late getting back.
You won't tell my boss, will you? What the boss doesn't know won't hurt him.
Thanks.
Yes, sir, Mr.
Hart.
Stanley Friesen.
You wanted to see me? - Me, Stanley Friesen? - Yes, I did Well, what can I do for you? You name it, you got it.
Whatever you say, whatever it is, whatever you like.
What would you like, Mr.
Hart? How do you feel about jazz, Stanley? Brubeck, Herbie Hancock, bebop swing, Satchmo? That jazz? All that jazz and even more.
Wow! Hello? You made him break that date.
It's her.
And you made him send the other guy.
I'll get you for this.
I'll get you.
Take it off.
You don't get to wear it.
Can't wear it anymore.
It's not yours.
Because it's mine.
He's mine! He's mine! You'll just have to check out every store we do business with.
I'm sorry, Deanne.
I know it's a lot of work.
I don't mind, Mrs.
Hart, I admire you so much, I'd work my finger to the bone.
Well, that's very flattering, but it's not so good for your manicure.
Now listen, if anyone besides Mr.
Hart or myself, you or Max tries to place an order in any of the stores you make sure they check it out with you first.
You know, if Mr.
Hart were a different kind of man this probably would've never happened to him.
- Why do you say that? - Well I think that girl could be someone here at the office.
It's just the way he treats people around here.
He's so nice to everyone.
And a girl who's, you know, a little far-out, could misinterpret that.
Well, we can't cross-examine every girl who works here, much as I'd like to.
Well, it's too bad Mr.
Friesen couldn't get a look at her.
It's not his fault.
Mrs.
Hart, while you're here Jody? Jody's made a list of employees who've accepted the invitation to the staff party.
If you'll notice, nobody sent their regrets.
Max and I'll go over this list.
Thanks an awful lot for all your help, Deanne, Jody.
That's a great hat.
Thank you.
I just got it yesterday.
I'm Peggy Mullen, Mrs.
Hart.
I work in the accounting department.
How do you do? It's a pleasure to meet you.
I just love the way your hair's fixed.
It's great.
Can I ask where you have it done? Sure, Salvatore's on Wilshire.
I suppose I ought to try there.
I don't know.
What do you think? You think my hair would look good in that style? I don't know.
I think your hair looks lovely the way it is.
Well, it's always good to try new things, isn't it? Yeah.
I hope you're gonna be able to come to our party that we're having at the house tomorrow night.
I wouldn't miss that for the world.
- Good.
Then I'll see you there.
- Okay.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
Bye-bye, Peggy.
All orders placed for the Harts should be verified through me.
- Good morning, Mr.
Hart.
- Good morning.
Use the private number, 555-1271.
Right.
- Morning, Mr.
Hart.
- What was that all about? My idea.
- Don't I know you from somewhere? - Possibly.
I'm a friend of your mother's.
Deanne, keep in touch.
Say, why don't we have lunch together? Yeah, I'd like that.
You can tell me how Mom is doing.
Where are you going? I'm late for a meeting with my editor.
No, really, what are you doing up so bright and early? - Early bird gets the worm.
- No, you're up to something.
- Come clean.
- Okay.
I've decided to take the matter of your most devoted fan into my own hands.
Darling, don't you think you're overreacting? My admirer is probably just some crackpot.
Friesen said he didn't get a good look at her.
- Yes, he told me.
- You know Deanne thinks it might be someone here in the office.
Yes, she told me.
And if she's right that narrows it down to 130 women.
Jonathan, you can be as casual as you like about this.
It doesn't change my mind.
I can see that.
Boy, I sure am glad you're not after me.
Haven't you heard? I am after you.
Yeah, the Hanging Cypress Lodge is still the same.
The perfect spot for a romantic weekend.
I still hope I hope they have those swans on the lake.
And they have an enormous fireplace in the lobby that's just wonderful.
The only thing they've changed up there in the last 20 years is the linen.
Well, I think I'm convinced.
I'm gonna take two for this weekend.
- And what's the name on that? - It's Jonathan Hart.
Do you know Mr.
Hart? Yeah, sure.
He and Mrs.
Hart want to get away for a couple of days? Yes, they do.
The hotel has a local booking agency.
Why don't you let me call them and make sure there's space, okay? Mr.
Hart's office.
Tony's Tickets here.
Two for Jonathan Hart this weekend at the Hanging Cypress Lodge? Is she there in the office? - Yes, that's right.
- Okay, hold on.
- Yes, Deanne.
- Mr.
Hart.
It's Tony.
The girl, she's in the office.
- Tell him to keep her there.
- Right.
Yes, he's on the way.
He'll just be a few minutes.
Right.
- Excuse me.
- Hold the elevator! - They'll call me right back.
- Oh.
Would you like to sit down? You want a cup of coffee? I'll get you a cup of coffee.
No, I'm fine, thank you.
Well, what's the hang-up, anyway? There's no hang-up.
They're probably checking up with the lodge.
Are you gonna get the room or not? - Sure I am.
- Well, what is taking so long? You know, these reservations, they take time to go through and everything.
- Actually, it really hasn't been that long.
- Yes, it has.
I mean, I could tell you're lying about something.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, I can tell.
- Listen, honey, why don't you just - Don't call me your honey.
I'm not your honey! Why? Tony, you're sure you don't want to go to the hospital? No.
I'm fine, Mr.
Hart.
Really.
You're lucky, Mr.
Danielson.
It's just a flesh wound.
It'll heal in no time.
I'm still shaking, Mr.
Hart.
Am I glad you found me when you did.
Can you describe the girl at all? She was short, about 5'1" No, she was taller than that.
- Maybe 5'3".
- The hair? I don't know.
She was wearing one of those big floppy hats and sunglasses.
I'm sorry.
I know I'm not much help.
I'm sorry, too.
This is not much to go on.
Not much at all.
We'll be talking with you, Mr.
Danielson.
You know, her voice was kind of familiar.
Maybe she calls me to place orders when Deanne doesn't handle them.
Hey, Tony, if you're feeling better tomorrow we're giving a company party at our house.
If this girl was present do you think you'd recognize her? - I really don't know.
- Would you be willing to give it a try? You see, you're the only one that's ever seen the girl.
Sure.
I'll give it a shot, Mr.
Hart.
Thanks, Tony.
Jonathan, I have something to show you.
I went to Salvatore's today, you know, where I always go, and I had my hair fixed especially for the party.
I hope you like it, darling.
It's not easy making the choice is it, Max? For you it may be tough, but for me it's no problem.
That's my choice.
I hope you're serving California wine, Max.
It's conservative.
Yeah, but we're serving it liberally.
How's it going? Well, so far, not so good.
How about you? I've seen a lot of suspicious characters, but most of them are men.
Look, Jonathan.
- Well, let's relax and enjoy the party.
- Good idea.
But someone could be watching us right now.
- Pickle? - Thanks.
Careful.
If I get something on this dress, I'll kill myself.
Well, wouldn't that be a little drastic? I can always get you another outfit.
But you are irreplaceable.
Step into my office party.
- Hi.
How are you? - Fine.
- Have you tried the shrimp? - No, I haven't.
- You have to.
They're just great cold.
- Okay.
Good.
Hey, you know, I'm going down to Florida next week on some business.
Do you think you could possibly get away and join me? Sure.
Just as soon as I check it out with your wife and kids.
That's okay.
I'll check it out.
- Can I fix you a drink, Mr.
Hart? - Yes, John.
I'll have Scotch and soda.
- Great party, Mr.
Hart.
- Hello, Peggy.
How are you? - Fine.
- Good.
- Would you like to dance? - Sure.
You look different.
What did you do? Cut your hair? - Yes, I did.
- Well, it looks good.
Thank you.
Well, everybody seems to be having a good time, don't you think? Wonderful time.
It's a wonderful party.
Excuse me, Peggy, I'd better help my wife.
Thanks for the dance.
- Any luck, Tony? - No.
- And I checked every girl in the place.
- You talked to them all? All but a couple of latecomers.
And one's a grandmother, and the other is 6'2".
Marcus, any no-shows on the office staff? No, they're all here, except the girls in the public relations department.
Two of them have been on vacation for a week in Mexico.
Let's give it another try.
You mind, Tony? No.
Which way now? Towards Mecca.
Excuse me, Mrs.
Hart.
- Love you in that.
- Well, I thought you didn't even notice.
I have that sickening feeling that she's right here now, under our roof.
Well, if she is, she's a damn good actress or she's crazy, or both.
- Wanna dance? - Not now, Stanley.
Maybe later.
See you later.
Excuse me.
I'm really Look, I'm sorry, really.
I meant to eat it.
No.
That's all right.
No, don't rub it.
- Really.
I'm sorry.
I'll pay for it.
- Don't rub it, Stanley.
- Send me the bill, okay? - It's all right, Stanley.
I didn't mean to do it, okay? Great party.
I'll just go and wash this off.
Excuse me.
Come on.
It's called the boogie.
In my day, this was called the two-step.
People danced together, not solo.
- What a weird way to dance.
- But it's kind of exciting, isn't it? - I seem to have lost one good wife.
- She probably lost one good skirt.
Remind me to send the bill to Friesen.
Jennifer? Jennifer? Breathe in.
Breathe.
We'll find her.
I didn't see who You want I should answer it? No, I Hart residence.
I'm still in this meeting, but I thought I'd call and see if everything is all right.
It's okay, Max.
- What's going on? - I'm just writing down this whole story.
It's gonna be quite a piece, if I ever live through it.
I don't even wanna hear you joke like that.
I'm sorry.
And I don't want you leaving the house alone or letting Max leave you there by yourself, okay? But, darling, I'm not gonna be kept a prisoner in my own house.
I have work to do.
Max has to go to the market.
We have to carry on with our lives.
You know, with will power like yours, you'd be tough to make a deal with.
What are you talking about? You talked me into the best deal of my life.
I'm on my way.
Max? I'm gonna go down to the post office.
I want to get these pages in the mail.
- You want me to drive you? - No.
It's okay.
Do me a favour, and pick up some more spot remover.
That one bottle didn't do the job.
- I can always sew a patch on it for you.
- Thanks a lot.
Peggy! - What are you doing - I've been waiting all night for you.
- Now, Peggy, why don't you - You drive where I tell you to.
If you don't do that I'm gonna cut your throat.
Okay? Okay, take it easy.
LA Mobile? I want to speak to 555-1271.
Deanne? What is Peggy Mullen's address? This'll look better on me.
You know, Jonathan would agree.
He likes my hair this way, too.
He told me so at the party.
Thank you for telling me where to have it done.
Jonathan's told you what we feel about each other, hasn't he, Peggy? Hasn't he, Peggy? Yes.
Say that louder.
Yes.
Yes.
And that means one thing.
That you, Peggy you have to die, so that Jonathan and I can live on forever.
Always.
Jennifer? Jonathan, in here! Jennifer! Jonathan! - You stay away from me, or I'll kill her! - Wait! Why bother to kill her? What's she to us? Jonathan? Jennifer.
You called me Jennifer.
Jennifer, darling I want you to put the knife down.
I can't do that.
She's gonna come between us, Jonathan.
- She won't come between us.
- Yes.
I promise you.
Promise.
I want you to give me the knife.
You tell me who you want to give you the knife.
You tell me who.
I want you.
You, Jennifer to give me the knife and let this girl, Peggy Let her go.
Please.
Oh, Jonathan.
Thank you.
Give me the knife.
Tell me you love me.
Tell me you love me.
I love you.
You're a liar! Let me go! Just let me die.
I wanna die.
Let me go! Grab a hold of my arm and pull me up! Pull! It's over, Peggy.
It's over.
I'm really getting it, I don't want to go too fast.
You know what I mean? Talk about a couple of moving violations.
Not bad for a couple of five-day wonders.
Are you kidding? I think we're ready for the roller boogie contest.
Not so fast, I still have to perfect my edge, spin, and my plate stall.
Your edge and spin and stall are perfect the way they are right now.
You're not so bad yourself, Kemosabe.
- How about some ice cream? - I think I'll go get it this time.
Watch this.
Hey, that's terrific.
Turning left.
Stall.
- Chocolate.
- Got it.
One chocolate, one vanilla, please.
I believe you had the vanilla?