Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e21 Episode Script
Terrybear; Bark Kart
1 [upbeat music.]
Harvey Harvey Harvey [music.]
What's up? TB in the hizz-ouse! - Hey, Technobear.
- What's up, my man? - Hi, Technobear.
- What's up, baby? - Goo-goo.
- 'Sup, baby? Hey, Technobear.
Are you here for the book club? Club? This is a club? Let's get this party started! [techno music.]
Sweetheart, come over here.
Come here, little man.
It's time to get your library card.
Good thinking, Ma.
They always card you before getting into the club.
Son, this is a proud moment, getting your library card.
You're going to be all well-read like your old man.
You see this tattoo? It means I'm smart.
You know how I know all that? - 'Cause I'm smart.
- Big hearts and big smarts.
That's why I married you, baby.
Okay, Technobear, we're almost done.
Just sign your card here and you're all set.
You can have my autograph any day, Mrs.
Beaks.
Hey, wait I think you spelled my name wrong here.
It says "Terrybear.
" [chuckles.]
That's funny.
Okay, Angel you can give me my real card now.
Sorry, there's no other card.
And don't call me that, please.
Hey, yo, what gives? My name's not "Terrybear.
" I need one with my real name.
- Son, Terrybear is your real name.
- Whaaat?! Terrybear? My name is Terrybear? All right, bro, just calm down.
Calm down? How can I be calm? Dad, Terry is a dingus name.
I ain't no dingus.
I'm a baller! Terry is a great name that's your grandmother's name.
Yo, sorry, Grandma.
Rest in peace.
But I just I thought my name was Technobear Technobear's your nickname, bro.
We've been calling you that ever since you were a little baby.
You were pelvic thrusting in your cute little designer diaper thongs.
[laughing.]
Adorable.
And you guys never thought to tell me - what my real name was? - Did we really never tell you? I guess it just never came up in conversation.
What? Yo, son, bro, we didn't know you'd be, like, so affected by this.
Yo, Dad.
Bro, this is heavy.
I just, like, need some time to think about this.
[delicate music.]
[sighs.]
This is too much to think about right now.
I got to dance these feelings out! Good thing I got emergency boomboxes hidden almost everywhere.
[techno music.]
All right.
Let's do this.
Nothing can stop me when I dance.
I'm a stinking powerhouse! [gargling.]
[grunts.]
I got so much pent-up energy.
Got to get it out! [music slows.]
[upbeat techno music.]
Hey, wait a second.
I can't dance like this anymore.
That's Technobear style.
How the heck does a Terrybear dance? What do I do with my body? [screams unintelligibly.]
Who am I? [techno music stops abruptly.]
Hey, man.
That was some really aggressive dancing.
We know you only drop that track when you're really upset.
- Is everything okay? - Oh, you haven't heard? My real name isn't Technobear, it's Terrybear! I guess my whole life's been a lie.
No big deal.
I guess I have no idea who I am anymore.
- It's fine.
- There, there, Terry.
Shh.
I just don't even know who Terrybear is.
I think I get it, man.
I feel like we're all just trying to figure out who we are in life, you know? Uh yeah, I guess, but mostly me.
Anyways, I for one am really excited to meet Terrybear.
All right makeover time! Hello, sir.
We'd like to look at your fine apparel, please.
I'm reinventing myself.
Going through that "figuring yourself out" phase, huh? Glad I didn't have to go through that.
I've been sure of myself since day one.
Randl, that's not true.
Don't you remember when you used to wear those - high-waisted dungarees? - What? I did not! You're delusional, woman.
Oh, Randl, stop lying to impress your friends.
All right, Terry.
Your new identity is somewhere in this room.
You just to find the right outfit.
- Are you ready? - Let's do this.
[upbeat music.]
Ugh.
I ain't feeling any of these, man! I still got no idea who I'm supposed to be.
Maybe you're thinking too hard.
- Just be whatever comes naturally.
- [sighs.]
Huh? [guitar twanging.]
That's it, yo! Fellas, meet Terrybear.
Ooh! A wrangler.
Bold choice.
Rugged good looks, and a hit with the ladies.
I don't know why it never hit me before.
This is it! This is me.
This just feels so tight.
I mean, this just feels so right.
Hey, guys.
Sorry to interrupt brunch, but I have someone I want you all to meet.
- Oh, who is it? [screams.]
- Howdy, y'all.
Oh, looks like you dropped your sandwich, little lady.
Let me lasso that up for you.
- Yee-haw! - Technobear, what are you doing? Sorry, ma'am.
I ain't Technobear no more.
The name's Terrybear.
I'm a cowboy bear now.
Here, have some cornbread with a tumbleweed on it.
Wait.
So you have two personalities now? - I don't even have one yet.
- This is absurd! You don't even know the first thing about being country.
Well, excuse me, little lady, but my name is Terrybear, and I'm as country as it gets.
Look at my bow-legged stance.
You close those up, mister.
All right, all right.
Let's settle down.
Dade, Terrybear is exploring himself.
And we're all supporting him, right? No, sir, I do not support this.
I do not support weird things.
I don't get it.
Is it some kind of joke? I don't get most jokes.
I ain't joking.
This is the real me.
I'm full cowboy! Total boy-cow! And y'all know what? I'll prove it.
Everyone meet me at the club tonight.
I'ma show off all my Western-style dance moves with a good old-fashioned hoedown! Technobear is dead! Long live Terrybear! - Foo! - Ready! Ride! I'm rooting tooting! Both: Oof! Well, he's trying.
[techno music.]
What's up, dinguses? Have you seen Harvey anywhere? Hey, guys! I brought refreshments for the hoedown.
Oh, no one dressed up? - No.
- Definitely not.
Yeah, I had everything but the boots.
So I just borrowed my mom's.
Where's Terrybear? [techno music.]
[record scratching.]
Howdy, everybody! This party is officially a hoedown.
- Get ready for some cowboy dancing.
- Oh, finally! I even brought a real, live, honky-tonk country band.
Hit it, boys! [languid country music.]
Uh-hh What are you guys doing? Playing beautiful Western music.
Wait.
This is country music?! Well, you're going to drop the bass soon, right? Actually, it's very expensive, so so you shouldn't drop the bass.
Whoo-hoo! Go, Terrybear! - Show us your moves! - All right, Terry.
Time to show them who I really am.
[languid country music resumes.]
[spurs jingling.]
Uh.
[groans.]
Wait.
No.
What am I [disco music.]
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Looks to me like he's as lewd as ever.
Snap out of it, Terrybear! That ain't no cowboy dancing! Try something else.
Oh, he's doing so great! That's my boy up there! Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
What What are my arms doing? Ugh! [grunting.]
No! Hold still, you darn hips! No thrusting! Wait! Stop! Don't you dare do it! No! I can't suppress my swag! [sobbing.]
[sighs.]
I don't get it, man.
I was the best at being Technobear, but I ain't Technobear I'm Terrybear.
But I stink at being Terrybear.
So who am I, then? Argh! [knocking at door.]
Baby? Baby, are you in there? Ma? Why don't you come out of there, sweetie? Ma, I'm having an identity crisis here! Also, this is a dude's bathroom.
Aw, honey, you know I don't care about that.
Yeah, your ma loves barging in to the men's restroom.
Heck, that's how we met.
Now, bro, you listen to me.
You can't let your name define who you are.
I mean, look at me.
My name is Curtis, for crying out loud.
But I thought your name was The Inspiration.
Nah, "The Inspiration's" my nickname.
It just suits me better, you know? Yeah, I mean, come on.
My name is Janet.
But when I look in the mirror, I only see "Pooker.
" [smooching.]
You see, son? I don't matter what some library card says.
What really defines you is what's in your ko-ko-ro.
That means heart.
And Cupcake, your heart is 100% Technobear.
Mm! That's tight.
Yo, thanks, Mom and Dad.
You guys are all right.
And you know what? I'm going to follow my heart onto the dance floor.
Whoo-hoo! You go, baby doll.
Man, Pook, we are so kicking butt at being parents right now.
I hope Terrybear is okay.
He looked so upset when he ran off.
Yeah Okay, dude.
I really can't take you seriously while you're wearing those boots.
Yo, turn that noise off.
Oof! [instruments thud.]
Oh, shoot.
I dropped the bass.
All right, time to turn this hoedown into a bro-down.
[techno music.]
Let's pump it up, yo.
[crowd cheering.]
Yes! Yes! 'Cause I don't care anymore.
This is who I am! [crowd cheering.]
Go, Technobear! Son, I wish I could raise my fist higher than this, 'cause there ain't no better beat than you.
- I love you, bro.
- I love you too, bro.
[bouncing.]
Yo, Dad, that move is so dope.
Man, I can't wait till my turtle shell grows in.
Oh, Sugar Butt, you won't be getting a shell.
Whaaat?!
Harvey Harvey Harvey [music.]
What's up? TB in the hizz-ouse! - Hey, Technobear.
- What's up, my man? - Hi, Technobear.
- What's up, baby? - Goo-goo.
- 'Sup, baby? Hey, Technobear.
Are you here for the book club? Club? This is a club? Let's get this party started! [techno music.]
Sweetheart, come over here.
Come here, little man.
It's time to get your library card.
Good thinking, Ma.
They always card you before getting into the club.
Son, this is a proud moment, getting your library card.
You're going to be all well-read like your old man.
You see this tattoo? It means I'm smart.
You know how I know all that? - 'Cause I'm smart.
- Big hearts and big smarts.
That's why I married you, baby.
Okay, Technobear, we're almost done.
Just sign your card here and you're all set.
You can have my autograph any day, Mrs.
Beaks.
Hey, wait I think you spelled my name wrong here.
It says "Terrybear.
" [chuckles.]
That's funny.
Okay, Angel you can give me my real card now.
Sorry, there's no other card.
And don't call me that, please.
Hey, yo, what gives? My name's not "Terrybear.
" I need one with my real name.
- Son, Terrybear is your real name.
- Whaaat?! Terrybear? My name is Terrybear? All right, bro, just calm down.
Calm down? How can I be calm? Dad, Terry is a dingus name.
I ain't no dingus.
I'm a baller! Terry is a great name that's your grandmother's name.
Yo, sorry, Grandma.
Rest in peace.
But I just I thought my name was Technobear Technobear's your nickname, bro.
We've been calling you that ever since you were a little baby.
You were pelvic thrusting in your cute little designer diaper thongs.
[laughing.]
Adorable.
And you guys never thought to tell me - what my real name was? - Did we really never tell you? I guess it just never came up in conversation.
What? Yo, son, bro, we didn't know you'd be, like, so affected by this.
Yo, Dad.
Bro, this is heavy.
I just, like, need some time to think about this.
[delicate music.]
[sighs.]
This is too much to think about right now.
I got to dance these feelings out! Good thing I got emergency boomboxes hidden almost everywhere.
[techno music.]
All right.
Let's do this.
Nothing can stop me when I dance.
I'm a stinking powerhouse! [gargling.]
[grunts.]
I got so much pent-up energy.
Got to get it out! [music slows.]
[upbeat techno music.]
Hey, wait a second.
I can't dance like this anymore.
That's Technobear style.
How the heck does a Terrybear dance? What do I do with my body? [screams unintelligibly.]
Who am I? [techno music stops abruptly.]
Hey, man.
That was some really aggressive dancing.
We know you only drop that track when you're really upset.
- Is everything okay? - Oh, you haven't heard? My real name isn't Technobear, it's Terrybear! I guess my whole life's been a lie.
No big deal.
I guess I have no idea who I am anymore.
- It's fine.
- There, there, Terry.
Shh.
I just don't even know who Terrybear is.
I think I get it, man.
I feel like we're all just trying to figure out who we are in life, you know? Uh yeah, I guess, but mostly me.
Anyways, I for one am really excited to meet Terrybear.
All right makeover time! Hello, sir.
We'd like to look at your fine apparel, please.
I'm reinventing myself.
Going through that "figuring yourself out" phase, huh? Glad I didn't have to go through that.
I've been sure of myself since day one.
Randl, that's not true.
Don't you remember when you used to wear those - high-waisted dungarees? - What? I did not! You're delusional, woman.
Oh, Randl, stop lying to impress your friends.
All right, Terry.
Your new identity is somewhere in this room.
You just to find the right outfit.
- Are you ready? - Let's do this.
[upbeat music.]
Ugh.
I ain't feeling any of these, man! I still got no idea who I'm supposed to be.
Maybe you're thinking too hard.
- Just be whatever comes naturally.
- [sighs.]
Huh? [guitar twanging.]
That's it, yo! Fellas, meet Terrybear.
Ooh! A wrangler.
Bold choice.
Rugged good looks, and a hit with the ladies.
I don't know why it never hit me before.
This is it! This is me.
This just feels so tight.
I mean, this just feels so right.
Hey, guys.
Sorry to interrupt brunch, but I have someone I want you all to meet.
- Oh, who is it? [screams.]
- Howdy, y'all.
Oh, looks like you dropped your sandwich, little lady.
Let me lasso that up for you.
- Yee-haw! - Technobear, what are you doing? Sorry, ma'am.
I ain't Technobear no more.
The name's Terrybear.
I'm a cowboy bear now.
Here, have some cornbread with a tumbleweed on it.
Wait.
So you have two personalities now? - I don't even have one yet.
- This is absurd! You don't even know the first thing about being country.
Well, excuse me, little lady, but my name is Terrybear, and I'm as country as it gets.
Look at my bow-legged stance.
You close those up, mister.
All right, all right.
Let's settle down.
Dade, Terrybear is exploring himself.
And we're all supporting him, right? No, sir, I do not support this.
I do not support weird things.
I don't get it.
Is it some kind of joke? I don't get most jokes.
I ain't joking.
This is the real me.
I'm full cowboy! Total boy-cow! And y'all know what? I'll prove it.
Everyone meet me at the club tonight.
I'ma show off all my Western-style dance moves with a good old-fashioned hoedown! Technobear is dead! Long live Terrybear! - Foo! - Ready! Ride! I'm rooting tooting! Both: Oof! Well, he's trying.
[techno music.]
What's up, dinguses? Have you seen Harvey anywhere? Hey, guys! I brought refreshments for the hoedown.
Oh, no one dressed up? - No.
- Definitely not.
Yeah, I had everything but the boots.
So I just borrowed my mom's.
Where's Terrybear? [techno music.]
[record scratching.]
Howdy, everybody! This party is officially a hoedown.
- Get ready for some cowboy dancing.
- Oh, finally! I even brought a real, live, honky-tonk country band.
Hit it, boys! [languid country music.]
Uh-hh What are you guys doing? Playing beautiful Western music.
Wait.
This is country music?! Well, you're going to drop the bass soon, right? Actually, it's very expensive, so so you shouldn't drop the bass.
Whoo-hoo! Go, Terrybear! - Show us your moves! - All right, Terry.
Time to show them who I really am.
[languid country music resumes.]
[spurs jingling.]
Uh.
[groans.]
Wait.
No.
What am I [disco music.]
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Looks to me like he's as lewd as ever.
Snap out of it, Terrybear! That ain't no cowboy dancing! Try something else.
Oh, he's doing so great! That's my boy up there! Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
What What are my arms doing? Ugh! [grunting.]
No! Hold still, you darn hips! No thrusting! Wait! Stop! Don't you dare do it! No! I can't suppress my swag! [sobbing.]
[sighs.]
I don't get it, man.
I was the best at being Technobear, but I ain't Technobear I'm Terrybear.
But I stink at being Terrybear.
So who am I, then? Argh! [knocking at door.]
Baby? Baby, are you in there? Ma? Why don't you come out of there, sweetie? Ma, I'm having an identity crisis here! Also, this is a dude's bathroom.
Aw, honey, you know I don't care about that.
Yeah, your ma loves barging in to the men's restroom.
Heck, that's how we met.
Now, bro, you listen to me.
You can't let your name define who you are.
I mean, look at me.
My name is Curtis, for crying out loud.
But I thought your name was The Inspiration.
Nah, "The Inspiration's" my nickname.
It just suits me better, you know? Yeah, I mean, come on.
My name is Janet.
But when I look in the mirror, I only see "Pooker.
" [smooching.]
You see, son? I don't matter what some library card says.
What really defines you is what's in your ko-ko-ro.
That means heart.
And Cupcake, your heart is 100% Technobear.
Mm! That's tight.
Yo, thanks, Mom and Dad.
You guys are all right.
And you know what? I'm going to follow my heart onto the dance floor.
Whoo-hoo! You go, baby doll.
Man, Pook, we are so kicking butt at being parents right now.
I hope Terrybear is okay.
He looked so upset when he ran off.
Yeah Okay, dude.
I really can't take you seriously while you're wearing those boots.
Yo, turn that noise off.
Oof! [instruments thud.]
Oh, shoot.
I dropped the bass.
All right, time to turn this hoedown into a bro-down.
[techno music.]
Let's pump it up, yo.
[crowd cheering.]
Yes! Yes! 'Cause I don't care anymore.
This is who I am! [crowd cheering.]
Go, Technobear! Son, I wish I could raise my fist higher than this, 'cause there ain't no better beat than you.
- I love you, bro.
- I love you too, bro.
[bouncing.]
Yo, Dad, that move is so dope.
Man, I can't wait till my turtle shell grows in.
Oh, Sugar Butt, you won't be getting a shell.
Whaaat?!