Harvey Beaks (2015) s02e16 Episode Script

The Blister; The Bad Seed

1 [cheerful music] Harvey Harvey Harvey [laughing] Dance my ancient puppets.
Please stop.
I'm very brittle.
My underwear is chaffing.
All right, the puppet master is taking requests.
Ooh, ooh, make 'em kiss.
But wait.
We're not married! And I'm shy.
[laughs] [electricity zaps] Huh? Hey, what gives? Oh, wewe're free! [both grunting] What the heck, Officer Fredd? You broke my toys.
Look how sad you made Foo.
Make 'em kiss They ain't toys.
They people! [scoffs] Okay, okay, but they're not, like real people.
[electricity zaps] Whoa.
You two need to learn to respect your elders so you're gonna spend - the whole day with 'em.
- Wha? [music] Ugh! [snoring] I can't believe Fredd is making us do this.
Oh, hey, look at this lady's face.
It's like a stretchy, fleshy trampoline.
What're you two doing here? You guys trying to steal my girl? [chuckles] I'm just kidding, Ruby.
[laughs] Are you here to volunteer too? What? No! Why would anyone come here willingly? We got banished by Uncle Fredd.
He's not our uncle, Foo.
Not anymore, he isn't! Just knock me out, Harvey.
Fee, spending time with these weathered treasures isn't a pain.
I'm here every week.
Let me show you.
Babies, children, teenagers, let's face it, they're pretty cool, but not as cool as senior citizens.
These Nanas and Papas really take the cake.
- Cake? - They're dependable! Reliable! You can depend on them.
Wow! They're easy to hug.
Mm [snoring] And every wrinkle tells a story.
[snorts] Eh? So, what do you think about the elderly now? I'm sold! Well, come on then, partner! It's bingo time! Yeah, no, thanks.
[groans] I'm getting hungry.
[music] [slurping] [slurping and grunting] Hey! Put that down! - Make me.
- No! Hey, what gives, man? You janked up my pudding.
You mean my pudding? [growls] You wrinkle bags are the worst! Well, your fast is the worst.
[music] [scoffs] Whatever.
I'm gonna eat what I want.
Hey, give that pudding back.
You mean this pudding? [growls] This pudding? Why you triangle-nosed brat.
What's a triangle? I'm not telling, ha.
[growls] That's it, old man.
You're about to [grunts] [cackles] [grunts] Ha-ha! [music] What the? [mimics siren] All right, who is responsible for this mess? Both: Uh It was a volcano.
Yeah, a chocolate volcano.
He just ran in here Because it was a chocolate volcano man And he just dumped his pudding everywhere.
A chocolate volcano man? You gotta be kidding me.
I thought we got rid of chocolate volcano man in the war.
I'ma go find that monster, and kick him in his sweet behind.
Ha, Blister wins again.
[door closes] [playful music] Your name's Blister? - So? - That's a cool name.
- I'm Fee.
Also a cool name.
- Okay.
Hey, champ, time for your medic ah! Whoa.
- [sighs] Finally alone.
- Sup? [screams] - Wanna hang? - No.
Cool.
So where do you keep the good stuff? [grumbles] Whoa.
Where'd you get these? - Ah [grunting] - Fought a shark.
Punched his teeth out, ha.
Dude, nuh-uh.
Who's belt is this? Now that's the belt of a man who used to be a wrestling champion.
- You mean, you? - That's right.
- I stole it from some idiot.
- Nice.
Question: Is your arm as wrinkly as your face? - Hey! - Huh? Who's Meryl? [sighs] Meryl.
My beautiful angel.
The only woman who made me feel Okay, not interested anymore.
- Who's this kid? - That's me, stupid.
Weird.
What's this photo? The great Toilet-Tree attack.
Me and my buddies TP'd the whole forest.
It was beautiful, like snow.
Snow that you could wipe your butt with.
[laughs] Boy, I'd love to do that again.
What's stopping you, dude? Let's get out there and tear it up.
Eh, I haven't been outside in 20 years.
20 years? Your missing out on so much stuff.
Like what? The stupid lush grass? The stupid clean air? The stupid, indescribably majestic trees? No, sir.
No, thank you.
This is bull-honkey.
- I'm taking you outside! - No, you're not.
Ah! [grumbling] - Let me go! - Shut up! I'm helping you, you moron.
[growls] Huh? Blister Twister! Blister wha Ah! Ah! Ow! What the heck, man? [growls] [laughing] That really hurt, you old fart! Come back here! And teach me how to do this.
It's awesome! So my doctor says I'm losing my eyesight, but I don't trust him because he's a bear, and everyone knows bears are liars.
Oh, buh-bye.
I need your help with this old geezer, Blister.
He hasn't been outside in 20 years.
[gasps] You mean, outside his comfort zone? No, I mean, like, outside-outside.
Ah, well, I wonder if there's a way to entice him out? Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
Temptation.
All: Yoo-hoo! - Eh? - Hey! Boy, it feels so good rollin' around in the grass.
[sniffs] Wow.
Nature sure does smell amazing.
Yeah, look at all this money! - Foo, where'd you get that? - Get outta here! Well, that didn't work.
I think we just need the right temptation.
What kinds of things does he like? I don't know.
All he has is some shark teeth, and bunch of junk, and a tattoo of some lady named "Meryl.
" Did you say, "Meryl"? - Oh, Blister - Eh? [gasps] Never thought you'd see me again, did you Blisty? MeMeryl? Is that you? Remember Lava Falls? How could I forget? I still got the burns.
Maybe we should make some new ones.
[breathing heavily] [romantic music] Come and get me, you animal.
[lilting music] [laughing] Ah, oh uh, oh You better board this train before it leaves the station.
Come on, you old weirdo.
[straining] [grunts] There.
Extinguished the flames of passion.
Are you kidding me? What is your damage? Don't you know what privacy is? I'm not leaving until you tell me why you won't go outside.
I like it inside! It's more fun in here.
What's fun, Blister? Is bingo fun? Is taking pills fun? Are those annoying nurses fun? Hey, I'm fun.
Tell me the truth! - Fine, I have allergies.
- Lies! I have [stammers] A prior engagement.
Liar! I I'm scared! Course I wanna go outside.
Of course I miss that big beautiful forest, but I've been cooped up inside here so long, I don't know what's out there anymore.
It's probably different, and I don't know how to deal with that.
Hey, man, the forest is just as awesome as you remember it.
- Come on, dude, I'll show you.
- No! I'm not going outside, Fee, and that's final! So get out of here and leave me alone already! F Fine! Whatever! I'm out of here! I can't believe I ever thought you were cool.
By the way, I stole a bunch of your stuff.
[inhales sharply] [sighs] Dang, couldn't find that chocolate volcano man anywhere, but I did find this dollar, so that's pretty cool.
Ugh! Stupid, dumb, idiot [electricity zaps] - Ah! Hey, watch it! - No, you're punishment ain't over yet! Who cares! I'm not going back in there! - So step aside, little bug man! - Need I remind you that I can shoot lightning out my fingertips? [humming] [electricity zaps] [yelps] You bazzap me all the time.
I don't care! Okay, I'm charging up.
[lilting music] My power level is rising! [electricity crackles] [straining] [groans] Last chance, Fee! Back inside! [growls] [music] Bazza What the? [gasps] - Bli - Hey, quit man-handling me! - Ister - Oh, my gosh.
- Twis - He's gonna do it.
- Ter! - Whah! [groans] No! [grunts] - Thanks, man.
- No problem.
I'd punch you back, but you're so weak I'd kill you.
[soft music] [sniffs] [sighs] Thanks, Fee.
[soft music] [babbling] Michelle, look over here.
My friends are coming over for a scary movie sleepover tonight.
When you wanna scare someone, you shout, "Boo.
" Can you say "boo"? [babbles] [grunts] Boo! [blows raspberry] Boo [inhales] Bleh.
Boo! Boo Michelle, look.
Boo.
[giggles] [eerie music] Okay, got my snacks.
What movie is this again? Glad you asked, Fee.
It's a spooky classic entitled, "It Crawls.
" Don't worry, Michelle.
This movie is rated PG for "pretty great.
" [chuckles] That was a movie joke.
No, it means "parental guidance" suggested.
[slurping] Hold on.
I gotta pee real quick.
Dude, again? If Foo can trim his toenails during the movie, then I can go to the bathroom when I want.
[clippers click] I'm just trimming during the loud parts.
Um, hey, Foo, there's space next to me if you wanna sit on the couch.
[clippers click] What's that, Claire? Uh [snores] I was talking in my sleep.
What did I miss? [music] Why are we taking this shortcut through the woods? It's so creepy at night.
Ah, come on.
It's fine.
Ah, look.
What is that? Geez, relax, Diane.
It's just a baby.
- Gerald, I'm scared.
- Come on.
What's so scary about a little baby? [laughing evilly] Ah No, no, there's something wrong.
That's no baby.
[growling] Look at it's eyes.
They're evil! - Hurry, run! - Ah! - Let's get away from the baby! - No! Oh, no! [chomping] It's eating my foot! And now it's eating my face! [growls] Oh, I don't deserve this.
This seems a little inappropriate for Michelle, and Irving.
[whimpers] Okay, time for bed.
[babbles] [whining] Good night, kids.
Good night, Mrs.
Beaks.
[straining] Good night, Michelle! [crying] [water bubbling] [growls] [straining] [thuds] [grunting and babbling] Nope, come on, Michelle.
[both snoring] [soft playful music] [babies laughing] Oh, no! Now there's two evil babies! [babies laugh evilly] [both scream] [music] [baby laughs evilly] [eerie music] [grunts] [both snoring] Oh, Miriam, I don't wanna put a bow in my hair.
[grunting] [dramatic music] [babbling] Gerald, I'm talking to you.
Look at me.
[evil laughter] [screams] [laughs] [babbles] No, no, do no run into the basement! [hinge creaks] Oh, no! - Ah! - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Ah! [laughs evilly] I guess, these days, rated PG really means PG-13.
This movie's weird.
Are we rooting for the baby? The baby, it's teething.
[screams] [growls] [grunts] [music] [giggling] Whoa! What the heck? Who moved my couch cushion? What is shehey, ow! It wasn't me! It's always you, Dade! Okay, everybody, let's settle down.
The movie's getting intense.
Where? Where is it? [screams] [laughs evilly] [giggles] Oh, did you guys catch that last shot? I think it was a red herring.
Should I rewind? Claire, did you fall asleep? Um, no, I just prefer to watch through my eyelids.
[laughs evilly] [thunder crashes] Um, hey, Foo [squeaks and grunts] I'm kind of scared, so could I hold your hand? Oh, sure.
Here you go.
Are you kidding me? That was so easy? [laughing evilly] Ah! [romantic music] [dramatic music] [growling] Hey, who turned out the lights? Claire? Hey, where'd she go? Maybe she left because of Dade's gross eating sounds.
I will eat my bonbons however I want.
[grunts] That's very unlike her to leave without saying good-bye.
[muffled shouting] Five second rule.
[shouts] Oh, my.
Something's in there.
Uh, I'll check it out.
Harvey! [muffled shouting continues] [suspenseful music] Oh, no.
What is in there? [gulps] [muffled shouting and straining] [all scream] [screams] [screams] Claire, what happened? Something grabbed me and tied me up.
It was so strong.
[screaming] Okay, this is freaking me out.
I'm turning off the movie.
[grunts] [growls] Whoever did this should come clean.
I think we all know who the real troublemakers are.
Whoa, everyone got quiet suddenly.
Well, there's also Harvey's parents and baby Michelle.
Really, Claire? The baby? I think we can all agree, this is more scary than funny.
I'm not letting anybody out of my sight until we get to the bottom of this.
Wah! It can't be stopped.
Once it starts, it cannot be stopped.
[laughs evilly] Who turned on the TV? Somebody stole all my snacks.
[laughing evilly] What is going on? There's only one explanation.
The house is alive.
Yes, the kitchen is the stomach, the attic is the brain, and the windows are the eyes.
Wake up, Harvey! You're not taking us out, house.
[grunts] Ah! Hey, don't hit my sister.
[grunting] Ah! [grunts] Harvey, help! I'm being reverse born! [all scream] [laughing evilly] The babies, they're everywhere! We gotta get out of here! [panting] We're trapped! Something cut the phone lines! Everyone, we gotta hide! [giggles] [laughing evilly] Is it safe now? I'm scared.
Why is the house so angry? I think it's something to do with the TV.
Wait, Foo, indoor voices.
[babies shrieking] Huhah! All right, if it wants to play that way, then fine.
We should smash the TV, then the house will lose it's power.
Uh, let's think before we do something crazy.
[music] [growls] [growls] I unplugged it.
[whimpers] We did it! [growling] Now we'll be completely safe.
[yelling] [grunts] [crashing] [gasps] [screams] [screams] [straining] [both scream] The house is going crazy! [wood splintering] Ah! We're all gonna die! Foo, I love you! - What? - Nothing.
Fee, are you looting? Hey, some of us might survive this.
[music] [screaming] [grunts] No, Mr.
Water Wiggles! You're supposed to be my friend! [music] Spirit of the house! Please, listen to me! [growling] Do what you want with me, but, please, let everyone else go! Harvey, no! I'm a big brother now.
I need to protect my family.
As long as Mom, Dad, and, Michelle are safe, then I don't care what happens to me.
Go ahead, house.
Strike me down.
I'm 10, so I've pretty much lived a full life.
[music] [shouts] [debris crashing] Huh? Michelle? Boo! [gasps] You guys! Michelle just said her first word! [all groan] Hey, wait a minute.
Everything stopped.
We survived! Both: Yay! - Ew.
- Ugh, get off me.
The spirit of the house must have been calmed by Michelle's innocence and purity.
Hey, kids.
[yawns] Are you having fun down he Michelle? [vacuum rumbling] Wow.
Now this is what I call a party! You look pretty frazzled, bud.
Was the movie too scary? Things got kind of crazy, but I handled it, and one day, little sis, I'll tell you all about it.
[quirky music] Hey, the TV remote.
But how come Michelle had it? Well, basically, the house was going all crazy and then, you know, Foo started running everywhere, but then I got the TV remote [gasps] Boo.
[triangle chimes] [quirky electronic music]