Hawaii Five-0 s09e08 Episode Script

Lele Pu Na Manu Like (Birds of a Feather)

1 (man grunting) (groaning) (gasps) No, no! (heavy clatter, sharp crunch) [Hawaii Five-O theme song plays.]
Hawaii Five-O 9x08 Lele Pu Na Manu Like (Bi ("Work to Do" by The Isley Brothers playing) (singing along): You might as well get used to Me coming home a little late Oh I I got work to do I got a job, babe I got work to do I got work to do I got work to do I got work to do I got work to do I got work to do I got work to do (wails) (Grover screaming) (cackles) Good morning, L'il Chubster.
Damn it, Percy! (laughs) Oh! Ow, Ma.
What in the hell is the matter with y'all? Two of y'all clowning around up here, waking up the whole house.
- Love you, Mama.
- Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
L'il Percy, you better get up out of here before I knock your ass out.
(mutters) What'd you say? Nothing, Ma.
That's what I thought.
PERCY SR.
: What the hell is going on - (gasping) Oh, Pops, oh.
(whimpers) Never mind.
- Ma! - What? You can't see I'm butt-ass naked? Boy, ain't nobody thinking about your little naked behind.
I changed your diapers, man.
STEVE: All right, guys, we got spider, two, Y, banana.
(all shouting) That's how we like it! Cover him! Go, go! Get him! STEVE: Nice catch, Nahele.
(whistle blows) MAMO: That's seven-nothing.
McGarrett's team's in the lead.
TANI: Hut, hut, hike! - Go, go! - Whoa! TANI: That's a touchdown.
Seven-seven.
Score's all tied up now.
Go, go, go! (all shouting) Just jump a little.
Just Oh, you're really missing Grover out there, huh? What is that supposed to mean? I'm just saying, having a big six-foot-five target's really, really masked a lot of your accuracy issues over the - Okay.
That's good.
If you want to concede right now, it might be less embarrassing.
Embarrassing? I'll tell you what's gonna be embarrassing.
- Yeah.
- What? What? - When Danny gets back from New Jersey and figures out that you QB'd his team into a loss.
- Uh-huh.
MAMO: That's a turnover on downs.
Yeah, keep talking.
Still tie game, and I got to go, so next score wins.
All right, defense, let's go.
Huddle up.
All right, Noelani, you're on Koa this play.
Got it.
I'll be all over him like actinic keratosis.
It's a skin condition.
Nasty stuff.
Jerry, come on, man, you got to get some pressure on TANI.
STEVE: She's got all day in the pocket.
She's like a ghost out there.
Yeah.
I'm trying.
But Kamekona and Flippa are like the Great Wall.
Guys, the real problem is Junior.
He's been burning us all day.
You're trying to say that I'm the problem-- my defense is the problem? 'Cause you can just say it.
NOELANI: Yeah, well, y-you maybe you want to try, you know, some bump and run coverage, extend your arms, throw off his route.
My boyfriend's a coach.
We talk shop.
STEVE: Okay.
All right.
Flippa, you missed your blocking assignment last possession.
You left my blind side wide open.
What are you doing? What assignment? I thought we just stand there and be big? No, you were supposed to pull and block Noelani.
KAMEKONA: The only thing he gonna pull is a hamstring if you ask him to run.
All right, enough water.
Put the water down, put the water down.
Okay? Here's what we're doing.
Zebra wide 35, waggle X.
Give me the eyes, give me the eyes.
Ready? No.
ALL: Break! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Hey, Koa, was she always this competitive when she as a kid? Only until she was about eight.
After that, no one would play with her.
Yellow, yellow! Hot route.
Hike! (all shouting) Yes! (whooping) (others cheering) (whistle blows) - Out of bounds! No catch.
TANI: What? What?! Junior failed to establish possession before going out of bounds.
Wha - No! STEVE: Thank you, Mamo.
That is the correct call.
That is a terrible ca (stammers) That's a terrible call.
That's a terrible call.
- Don't listen to her.
- As if you could see anything through your cataracts, you old man.
Hey, hey, hey.
Time-out.
Trash talking is one thing.
Mamo is very graciously giving us his time this morning.
No.
Oh, my God, no, I-I would never talk like that to Mamo.
I was talking to you.
Come on.
Second down.
Let's go.
(phone ringing) - Keep it moving.
- Hold on, hold on.
McGarrett.
Yeah.
We're on the way.
What? They haven't even been here 24 hours yet, and I'm already going out of my damn mind.
And please, don't say "I told you so," babe.
Baby, I'd never do that.
Your family is my family.
Oh, you're a good wife, sweetheart.
I love you.
You know, my family I can handle, but that damn Percy.
Uh, come on, baby, he's not that bad.
Yeah, he's the worst.
But he is not gonna ruin this holiday.
(chuckles) Thanksgiving brunch is on deck, and the master chef is about to throw down.
Mm-hmm.
See, now that's my man.
- Oh, you sweet.
- Mm.
Everything's gonna be fine, baby.
I know.
(both laugh) But I did tell you so.
This family ain't nothing but a pack of wolves.
STEVE: The catch only counts if possession is made in bounds.
Which it did.
Junior caught the ball in the end zone.
TANI, I'm over it.
You should be, too.
He's right, TANI.
Nobody likes a sore loser.
Uh, excuse me, we tied.
A sore tie-er, then.
Oh.
Okay.
That's, uh, something I haven't seen before.
LUKELA: Sorry I couldn't make the game.
Um, how'd it go? - We were robbed.
STEVE: Well, let's, uh, leave that crime back there and focus on this one for now.
Duke, what are we looking at, aside the obvious safe on top of the person? LUKELA: Homeowners are out of town for the holiday.
Housekeeper arrives this morning to find this mess.
Broken back door looks to be the point of entry.
Perp went upstairs, took this safe out of the wall in the master bedroom.
- Got an I.
D.
on this guy? - Michael Chan.
He's got priors and a day job working for an airport shuttle service.
ADAM: So he picks people up at these fancy homes and knows they're going out of town.
- That's pretty smart.
- He's not smart.
He's stupid.
He tried to smuggle this ginormous safe out the door? A classic amateur move.
Yeah, but it looks like he might have tried to use this blanket to drag the safe down.
But when he tried pulling it down one step at a time, gravity did its thing.
(grunts) (shouts) (sharp crunch) Safe fell on top of him and smoosh.
STEVE: Guys, check out the drill marks.
I'm thinking this guy, uh, tried to crack the safe upstairs before he decided to take it to go.
Close, but not quite.
Come check this out.
We found metal shavings next to the body, indicating that the safe was drilled right here on top of the guy.
There was more than one thief.
STEVE: So Plan A was to get this thing out of here and crack it someplace else.
But then it falls on bad guy number one, and his partner realizes he can't carry it by himself, so he's gonna drill it right here in place? Bad news, he lost a partner.
Good news, he doesn't have to split the take.
NARRATOR: The annual presidential turkey pardon.
Some of you might be wondering, how did this charming tradition come to be? Legend has it that our beloved 16th president, "Honest Abe" Lincoln, was the first to spare the Thanksgiving What in the hell is that? Dry wall mix? It's kouign-amann, you fat dummy.
You pretentious ass.
Them ain't even words.
It's a French pastry, you troglodyte.
That ain't a word, either.
Yeah? Well, it's better than those soggy, limp-ass omelets you be making.
Just 'cause you big as a house don't make you Emeril Lagasse, Chubster.
Don't call me that again, man.
(bowl thuds) Or what? (quietly): Hey, pretty girl.
Hey, baby.
(chuckles) Mm.
Mm, mm.
(laughs) (pots clattering) GROVER: Is that all you got, fool? You come to my house? PERCY: You hungry, son? Oh, I got something RENEE: Hey, hey, hey! What the hell is going on here? - Nothing.
- (laughs): Oh, no.
You know, this could be funny, if both of you weren't grown men.
WILL: Shoot, it's funny to me.
- You guys need a reality show.
- Will.
Both of you, upstairs and clean up.
Mm.
STEVE: Hey.
We I.
D.
our vic's accomplice? Jerry ran Chan on all our available databases, came up empty on any known associates.
Right now, we're dumping his phone, so hopefully that can get us a lead on who he might've pulled this job with.
Whoever it was, they left a lot of valuable stuff behind.
A handgun, couple Rolexes.
JUNIOR: That's quick money in any pawnshop.
Maybe he had to leave in a hurry.
Unless he was for looking for something specific.
We've reached out to the homeowners, right? They should be able to tell us exactly what was missing.
(exhales) The safe wasn't the only thing they hit.
Found a bag upstairs, was full of jewelry sterling silver and a laptop.
ADAM: If this crew was after something specific in the safe, why did they bother filling a bag with other random valuables and then leave it behind? Well, because it wasn't a crew at all.
What do you mean? I found another point of entry upstairs, which leads me to believe that this wasn't one team hitting this house together.
STEVE: Wait a minute.
You're saying there was two separate thieves that hit the same house on the same night? GROVER: And now my delicious omelets.
Hey, listen, I just wanted to say, Renee, you're just as beautiful today as you were when you two got married.
Aw.
Thank you.
Boy, stop filling my wife's head with nonsense.
Wait.
Babe, come on.
- I-I don't mean, like, nonsense - Mm, mm, mm.
Shut up.
I-I'm just saying, he's full of it.
Son, when you're standing in the hole, quit digging.
(timer ringing) (mocking): Stop digging.
(Ella laughs) (sniffs) Mmm! What is that smell? Whatever it is, I want some.
Percy.
(gasps) Oh, did you make kouign-amann? Yes.
- Wait, that's a real thing? - Oh, baby, it is the only thing.
Oh, bring it here.
Yes, yes.
Come to mama.
Mmm! Oh, yeah.
(laughs) Mmm! What is that? - Lemon curd? PERCY: Mm-hmm.
Mm Mint.
And what is that? Thyme.
See, that's my secret weapon.
Adds a little savory to the sweetness.
(laughing) ELLA: All right.
RENEE: Mmm, Percy.
I am not even kidding, you need to open your own bakery.
- He does.
- Right? He should.
It would never happen.
Why would you say something like that, Pop? Well, you don't open your eyes until 2:00 in the afternoon.
I mean (chuckles) you'd be sleeping now if we wasn't five hours from Chicago time.
It just so happens, I met with a banker at First Chicago about a business loan just this week.
- All right.
- Yeah.
That's good news, L'il Percy.
Really good news! Congratulations.
Congratu-- On what? A conversation? They must be over there giving out play money if they give him a loan.
Lou, be nice.
RENEE: Baby, what time do you need to pick up the turkey? Huh? Oh-- Oh, yeah.
I got to go to Foodland.
- They got ours on hold.
PERCY: Yeah, h-hold up.
I need to roll with you.
Because I'm real, real picky about my ingredients.
Ingredients for what? It's Thanksgiving, dum-dum.
I plan on cooking dinner.
You plan on paying the mortgage up in here, too? - 'Cause this is my house.
- Oh, man.
Any-any turkey and gravy and giblets or any other damn thing gets cooked up in here is gonna be by me.
ELLA: You know what? I got an idea.
Why don't you two cook dinner together? GROVER: Because this is my house.
(groans) Dang, Ma, why you always siding with him? I'm not siding with him.
I'm siding with the family.
This is what? Thanksgiving.
You two should be thankful for each other.
(softly): As I've been trying to tell You got something to say, L'il Percy? No, ma'am.
(Grover snickers) Well, I think it's a great idea.
You and I Me, too, baby.
(laughs) We do.
Baby.
Fine.
(over radio): Turkey for you Let's eat the turkey in my big brown shoe Let me tell you something, little brother.
Jealousy is a ugly cloak.
And I'm surprised it can even fit your fat ass.
(chuckles) Tell you what, Chubby-Chub.
Let's make this thing interesting.
We cook up two birds, and let the fam decide which one is the best.
Cool? Unless, of course, you're scared.
Like you used to be when them bullies would chase your ass home Bet! Bet.
Bet.
Name your stakes, loser.
(laughs) All right.
When I win, you admit that I'm the better chef.
(scoffs) A'ight? And you cosign a loan for my bakery.
- Fine, that'll work.
- Cool.
Yeah.
And when you lose, then I don't have to see your ass at my Thanksgiving table for two years.
Why don't we make it 22 years, fat ass? Hell, I hope I never have to show up around here again.
Ooh.
Done.
It's not good, not good to fight, yeah (register beeps) That'll be $307.
21.
Um, seems as though - I forgot my wallet.
- No, he didn't.
It's right in his back pocket.
You see, what he actually forgot is money.
But he's family.
You do things for your family.
(chuckles) You know how that is, right? (chuckles) Hey, for real? Thank you, little brother.
Yeah, don't get all sentimental.
That just puts me $300 closer to getting rid of your ass.
So, where's your turkey? It seems as though they're sold out.
But don't get any bright ideas about victory by default.
- Because we gonna keep shopping.
- Good luck.
Come again? What she means is you ain't in Chicago, dummy.
This is an island.
Anybody who wanted a Thanksgiving turkey already has one.
Like this baby right here.
Who's getting to be nice and juicy, hmm? Who? You ain't getting off that easy.
A bet's a bet.
I just so happen to know a guy who can pretty much get anything.
(phone speed dials) (brakes squeal, gearshift creaks) - Chi-Town.
GROVER: My man.
Behold: a Hawaiian Thanksgiving miracle.
(turkey gobbles) Perfect.
What? (laughing) What the hell am I supposed to do with this? What you mean, brah? Kill him, pluck him, cook him.
It don't get no better than this on a last-minute notice.
(laughing) Full disclosure, this guy was bred to fight.
Lean and mean.
His meat might be kind of tough.
(guffawing) No, no, no, no.
The bet's off, man.
The bet's off for real this time.
Oh, hell no, it ain't.
You wanted a turkey, here's a turkey.
(gobbles) Be thankful you don't have to defrost it.
That's right, O.
G.
That'll cost $300.
What?! (laughs) What's so funny?! The shoe's on the other foot now, ain't it? Since I forgot money, it's on you.
Or the bet's off.
Tell you what, Chicago, for another C-note, I'll throw in a humane slaughtering, get this bugger plucked, cleaned and dressed.
(gobbles) $400 for a turkey.
You know what? It's gonna be worth it.
$300 for-- - Here.
- One.
Two.
Three.
Four! Oh, yeah, by the way.
You guys like the head on or off? GROVER and PERCY: Off! Just checking, my bruddahs, just checking.
Right.
(sportscast playing over TV) Ah! 28 to nothing, and he wants to get out the game 'cause his finger hurt.
ANNOUNCER: and he did! (Percy Sr.
grunts) All the candy-ass, weak, prima Donna bull Big Percy.
Yes-yes, yes, Miss Ella.
I know you're not sitting around in here using that kind of language in front of my grand-baby, are you? Uh, it just kind of slipped out, M-Miss Ella.
Oh, just slipped out? Yes, ma'am.
(chuckles): Okay.
Well, can you kind of just slip into the kitchen and peel those potatoes as I asked you to? (clicks tongue) Got it.
(clears throat) (grunts) - And by the way.
- Hmm? - Yeah, yeah? - Put on your glasses.
Oh.
Look.
Thank you.
Last thing I want to do is spend my Thanksgiving in the E.
R.
because you sliced off your pinky finger.
No, no, no, no, no, no, Miss Ella.
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
(laughs) - Yeah.
- Yes, Miss Ella.
(chuckles) (laughing) Now, what's so funny? You got potato duty, too, now.
Come on, come on.
Get up.
Atention, boy! Follow me.
(humming a tune) What's the matter with you, boy? So, you're scared of Grandma, huh? Hey, it's all right.
Dad's scared of Mom, too.
Is that what you think? Yeah, you know, everybody knows that.
Even his friends at work.
(chuckles) Let me tell you something.
Grandson.
Your grandma, she spent every waking hour trying to take care of me and your daddy and your uncle.
She worked 50 hours a week, and she still finds time to cook us dinner every night.
The most important person I ever met in my life.
She's my heart.
And your mama? Now, she spends every waking hour of her life taking care of you and your daddy and your sister, and still finds time to fly back and forth to Chicago to check on her parents.
Now, she's the most important person that your daddy knows.
Me and your daddy, we spend every waking hour of our life trying our best to be worthy of those women.
So, scared, yeah, yeah, w-we're scared all right.
We're scared of not measuring up.
In the future, if you're lucky, you'll find somebody for you to be scared of.
Say, what's, uh, that you young folks say? You feel me? (chuckles): Yeah.
Yeah, I feel you, Grandpa.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
Now hand me another potato, son.
We got work to do.
JERRY: So I spoke with the homeowners, and based on the inventory that Mr.
Henman sent over, the only thing missing from the safe was this.
One 1948 Stan Musial baseball card.
A beauty, isn't she? Never heard of him.
You've never heard of Stan the Man Musial? - The Donora Greyhound? - No.
Three-time World Series champion.
.
331 career batting average.
National League MVP in '43, '46, and '48.
No.
Please tell me you read those stats off of your screen.
The guy was a first-ballot Hall of Famer.
Not to mention a patriot.
This man walked away from the game so he could serve this country in World War II.
Okay.
I'm guessing if our thief was after that card specifically, it must be pretty valuable.
Yeah, I'd say so.
Mr.
Henman, he, uh, insured it for over 60K.
60 grand for a piece of cardboard? Unless our thief is a Jerry Ortega-level Stan Musial fan, we got to assume that he's trying to unload this thing somewhere, right? Right.
And there's probably only a couple dealers on the island who move memorabilia this expensive.
Jerry? You're assuming I know where sports nerds waste their money? All right, there's one shop in particular I can think of.
(brakes squeal, gearshift creaks) JERRY: Hall of Fame Sports Collectibles.
That's the place.
Okay, Jerry.
Here's how I'm thinking we should play this.
What are you doing? Making the necessary preparations for this op.
Uh Jerry.
(Southern accent): I'm sorry.
There's no one here by that name.
I'm Bill Bachman III, Southern gentleman, avid collector of baseball memorabilia, lifelong Cardinals fan.
And I'm a man on a mission: I'm looking for a 1948 Stan Musial card, and you bet your sweet patootie I'm willing to pay top dollar.
That's great, Bill, but-- and this is just a suggestion-- you might not want to actually mention Stan Musial.
(normal voice): You think he might get suspicious? Asking for the card the same day some sketchy guy off-loaded it? Yeah.
He'll know it was stolen, so he'll probably be cagey.
- Makes sense.
- Okay.
Here's what I was thinking.
I'm your rich friend from Japan who's got a passion for American baseball memorabilia and money to burn.
- Okay, I can dig it.
- Yeah? - And who am I? You're you.
I think I can do that.
Shoots.
You're not closing, are you? Afraid so.
Got to get home to Thanksgiving dinner.
Oh, this will only take a minute.
My friend here is on his way back to Japan, and just wants to get a gift for his nephew.
Konnichiwa.
Okay.
So step inside for a minute.
What? No! (lock clicks) Stay here.
Cover the door! Where are you going? (grunting) Come here.
Looks like you won't be making that dinner.
Ah, baby, come here Let me caress you Ah, ah, baby, let us Ah, tell me what you missed, come here (singing along): Get back Oh, nothing's changed You're still sweet as When I'm standing ready To love you, babe Make it good to you Ooh, I need your love Don't make me wait I can't wait Why you standing all the way over there, Nene? Why don't you come over here by me? Come here, sweet, sweet baby, get to this For so long, I'm so glad Glad that you call me your baby.
(song ends) That was nice.
Yeah, it was nice.
- Tell you what, though.
- Mm.
When Will goes off to college? Mm.
You'll be in trouble, woman.
(laughs) You're so wrong.
You looked so happy cooking.
I didn't even want to disturb you.
Girl, please.
Nothing could disturb me today.
Percy gonna wish he never made that bet.
Hmm.
What bet? That fool thinks he's a better chef than me.
Than me, okay? (laughs) So he wanted to make a bet.
We'll cook two birds, and we'll see which one is best, and y'all can be the judges.
Oh, so that's why we have two turkeys.
Okay, well, how much is this bet for? Oh, that's the best part.
Let's say, by some miracle chance, he should win.
All I got to do is cosign on a loan for that stupid pipe dream of a bakery-- which will never happen.
- But when he loses - Mm-hmm? he can't come back here for two years.
What? Babe.
What? What? Come on, now.
It's all in fun.
Fun? Do you even hear yourself, Lou? Now, you know, y-you and your brother have been at each other's throats since your folks have got here.
And now you you literally want us to judge this crazy competition? Babe, a minute ago, you was cool This holiday is about bringing family together, Lou.
And you think that banning him from here is you winning? Well, I, for one, won't participate in that.
I don't want to be any part of it.
(door opens) Ta-da! Hey, if it isn't the Pawn Stars.
And, yes, you got the card! Feast your eyes on a 100% genuine 1948 Leaf Stan Musial baseball card.
Be still, my beating heart.
- I know you're joking.
- Nope.
But I got to tell you, holding this card, it might be the closest I ever get to understanding the mind of a criminal.
Okay.
Moving on.
We tracked it down at a local memorabilia shop.
The owner bought it earlier today for ten grand.
Ten grand for a card that's worth 60? Th-That thief must have been pretty strapped for cash if he was willing to let it go that cheap.
I don't suppose we have a name for the owner? No, but he did give us a physical description of the seller: uh, Caucasian, roughly six feet tall, brown hair.
Didn't look like this guy, did he? TANI: This guy bought three drills and a dozen diamond-tipped drill bits the morning of the robbery.
If I was planning to steal a priceless baseball card, I certainly wouldn't wait till last minute to buy the tools.
Did you get an I.
D.
? Not yet.
We tried running facial recognition, but the angle and the camera image quality were no good.
And, of course, he paid with cash.
TANI: Here's the good news.
Henman's due to land in a couple minutes.
So Joons and I will pay him a visit.
I'm sure he wants his card back.
JERRY: Hey, you might want to be a little more careful with that? I'll make sure she doesn't sit on it.
WILL: Wait, that's Dad? How old was he, like, 12? Nah.
Eight.
- No way! - Yes! Dad was huge.
(laughter) Yeah, he was.
Yeah, man.
Boy ate like a dinosaur.
We had to put a lock on the fridge till he left the house.
(laughter) He could eat.
Yeah, I can see why Uncle Percy started calling him Chubster.
No, your uncle didn't give him that name.
Some kids at school did.
And you know what? No matter how much or how hard they fought, your father always knew that he could depend on your uncle to stick up for him.
- No matter what.
PERCY SR.
: Yeah.
Once or twice a week, I'd hear him running down the street, bullies be chasing him.
I could hear him saying, "Percy!" (laughter) "Percy!" ELLA: Yes! Yes! - That's right.
- Wait.
Uncle Percy was jacked.
PERCY SR.
: Yeah! ELLA: "Jacked"? (laughter) Yeah.
Afro's a little bit lopsided, too.
ELLA: Yes, yes.
It is.
No, no, no, no! What? (quietly): Son of a bitch.
Looking good, baby.
Gobble, gobble.
(laughs) Hey! Yeah.
Man, what the hell is wrong with you? You want to win this bet so bad, you come out here and almost knock over my bird? Oh, get the hell out of here with that! You know damn well you went into the kitchen and turned the heat up on my bird while I was upstairs! I didn't have nothing to do with that! You think I don't know a lie when I hear one?! Boy, don't you know who I am?! I'm the police! You've been two steps away from jail since you could crawl.
And here I was just starting to feel sorry for your deadbeat ass.
What'd you just say to me? You ain't deaf, L'il Percy.
You heard me.
You so damn pompous.
You know what? To hell with you and this bet.
Fine.
You and me? We're done.
Yeah, we done.
We done after I whip your ass.
Yeah? You can try.
Huh? Huh? (both grunting) PERCY SR.
: Enough! I didn't raise you boys like that.
(panting) Babe.
That's okay, baby.
Come on.
Fire.
Fire! Fire! Somebody call the fire department! Well, thanks for getting this back.
You got any leads on who stole it? Actually, Mr.
Henman, that's why we're here.
Uh, we do have a suspect.
I know the image isn't great, but do you recognize that guy? It's hard to tell.
Should I? Well, considering nothing else was stolen from your safe, we believe that it was a targeted robbery, which means whoever broke in knew that the card was here.
Hold on.
Yeah.
(chuckles) That's him.
His name's Patrick something or other.
He works at a homeless shelter I donated to.
He and I talked baseball a few times.
He knew about the card.
Can you get us that address? I don't suppose you'll let me finish my shift before you book me? Patrick, where's the money you got for the baseball card? You're looking at it.
It's on her plate here.
His plate there.
TANI: You broke into Henman's place and drilled into his safe so you could you could feed the homeless on Thanksgiving? Yeah, I did.
Four years ago, I met Mr.
Henman at a U of H game, and he believed in what we were doing here, so much so, he pledged to start underwriting our Thanksgiving dinner.
That's very generous.
Extremely.
He could afford it, of course.
And he'd show up every year in his-his fancy car, wearing his fancy watch, spend ten minutes with us and pose for a photo so he'd get his name in the papers.
And I was okay with that because everyone was getting fed, but this year, when I called him for his donation, he told me his accountant found a better tax dodge.
When I told him that meant hundreds of people would go hungry on Thanksgiving, he said that was my problem, not his.
Guess he was right.
All right, look, you may have stolen the card for the right reasons, but you still broke the law, and were gonna have to arrest you.
Right after you finish serving these people their food.
And you know what, while we're here, it looks like you could use some help.
We were actually able to contain the fire to the kitchen.
But seems like someone left a greasy towel on the stovetop.
Huh.
Well, that's weird.
Y'all have a lot to be thankful for.
This could've been way worse.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
So much.
(exhales) Oh, my God.
Hey, you want to hear something funny? Please.
I could use a good laugh.
Well, it's kind of my fault.
Why? I-I had a few cocktails too many.
I thought that the turkey wasn't cooking fast enough, so I turned it all the way up.
Without your glasses on.
Yeah.
I thought you said it was gonna be funny.
If I catch you without your glasses on again, I'm gonna tape them to your head.
Yes.
You think it's over? You better go talk to your wife.
Way ahead of you, boy.
Way ahead of you.
Well, I mean, you know, all's well that ends well.
At least you gonna get that new kitchen you've been wanting.
It's gonna be nice, babe.
Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.
Don't be mad.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
I know I disappointed you Shh, shh.
I'm not the one you should be apologizing to.
Go on.
Oh, my I don't know what you looking at.
(chuckles) Percy, I want to apologize for the way I've been treating you.
I want to apologize to you because of the horrible things I said to you, man; I didn't mean it.
You're my big brother, and I love you.
I just want you to know I'm sorry.
Well, guess what.
I'm sorry.
See, I'm not gonna let you hog all the blame.
And, uh You know, I've been, uh I've been keeping a scrapbook of all your achievements.
Yeah.
Box scores from when you won the state semis.
You had 12 tackles.
(chuckles) I wanted to tell you that, little brother.
I just couldn't get it out, man.
(chuckles) The picture of you and me at your graduation from the academy.
And that Tribune article about that big sting operation you were a part of.
I've been a jackass all these years.
And the fact is you are more accomplished, more-more responsible, more disciplined.
And more in debt to you than you'll ever know.
You made a man out of me, Percy.
Don't you know that? I'm the man I am today because of you.
You're the reason I became a cop.
Because I wanted to protect people who couldn't protect themselves, the same way that you would protect me.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
(kisses) Thank you, brother.
You're my big brother and I love you.
You hear me? PERCY SR.
: Uh, I ain't saying that ain't nice or something like that, but, uh, when we gonna eat? (laughter) Damn, Pop.
All right, well, relax.
It's a good thing we got another turkey.
See? Came in handy.
Yeah, uh, about that turkey.
When we was having that little squabble out back Yeah? it knocked the cord out.
That turkey's soaking in about ten gallons of olive oil; that turkey ain't gonna be no good, bruh.
GROVER: Hang on a second.
Everybody relax.
Relax.
Take your hands off your hip, babe.
Don't be mad no more.
Look, we are going to have Thanksgiving dinner.
(stammers) It may not be as we envisioned it, but, uh, I got an idea.
Just hang on.
Hey.
(phone speed dials) Yeah? You was crying, huh? - You don't never stop, do you? - (laughs) GROVER: Come on, babe.
Grovers have arrived.
- Hey.
- Hey! Everybody, happy Thanksgiving.
(others greeting) Um, hey, man, thanks for letting us crash your dinner, big fella.
We appreciate it.
O.
G.
, there's always a space at my table for the Grover family, you know that.
Thank you, sir.
Tell me, how'd you manage to ruin two turkeys? Oh, it was easy.
He burned the house down.
What? You have one kitchen fire Oh, it was so close GROVER: I'm the police.
You can't tell people I burned RENEE: Oh, don't get me started Joons, I'd like to give you a warning.
My pants have an elastic waistband.
I've skipped lunch today to maximize stomach capacity.
My goal is to keep pace with you tonight.
Oh, actually, I'm gonna have to duck out early tonight.
I promised my mom I'd stop by their family dinner.
Wow, okay.
Yeah.
That's great.
Isn't it? That's great.
Yeah, i-it's a start.
I guess, at some point, me and my dad have to learn how to be in the same room together.
Yeah.
Okay, all right.
Well, here's to, um, dysfunctional families and-and the holidays that force us to spend time with them.
(laughs) Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
How you holding up? First Thanksgiving without Kono.
It's got to be hard.
(sighs) Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
I won't lie.
But I'm thankful for what I have.
(lively chatter) Okay.
All right.
- This is it.
- Yep.
Danny already signed.
Soon as you add your John Hancock, Steve's will be the sole proprietorship of yours truly.
All righty.
(sighs) You know what's crazy to me? Is that after all of that, we almost broke even.
In this business, you call that success.
(sighs) GROVER: What's up, fellas? What's up? I'll tell you what's up.
Danny and I have now officially signed this restaurant in its entirety over to Kamekona, so Stop playing.
Look, I need to talk to you about something I ain't playing.
I ain't playing.
And you don't talk to me anymore.
You now talk to this man.
Good night.
Okay.
Well, all right, I guess you're the man.
I need to talk to you.
So, uh Yo, Kamekona, this is my big brother, Percy.
How you doing, brother? All right.
He is an expert baker.
I'm telling you, man, he is so good that when my wife-- You know what? Never mind.
I'm not even gonna hype it.
Here.
Here.
Is that a kouign-amann? How the hell is it that everybody knows what that is but me? (laughs) Go ahead and roll that around in your mouth.
Well? You're hired.
- Congratulations.
- What? Wow.
Thank you, my brother.
All right.
You did it.
(chuckles) Look, there ain't gonna be any more crying.
Yeah.
Come here, little brother.
I love you, man.
(chuckles) Come on, let's go eat.
(laughter, lively chatter) STEVE: Come on.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Let's cheers.
OTHERS: Cheers! (lively chatter continues)
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