Hawaii Five-O (1968) s01e25 Episode Script

The Big Kahuna

Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
( upbeat surf theme playing ) I don't ask you for a favor very often, Steve.
But this time I need one.
Name it.
Does the name Sam Kalakua mean anything to you? Sam Kalakua.
Yeah.
One of the last descendants of Hawaiian royalty left on the islands, isn't he? That's right.
Sam's ancestors' roots were planted here long before the mainlanders knew these islands even existed.
Now he's in jail.
Jail? Went wild with a rifle last night.
Shot up the neighborhood.
Almost hit one of the neighbors.
Drunk? Ill? What? I don't know.
Is that the favor? You see, Sam's regarded by his people as being sacred.
So I'd like to find out what's going on with him, Steve, quickly and quietly.
Without an official police investigation.
And you want him out of jail? I do.
You know how proud these old-line islanders are.
And their feelings about the haole s coming here, changing the face of their islands, and their way of life, all in the name of progress.
I'd like to stop any resentment before it starts.
Something more, isn't there, sir? You're right, Steve.
Sam Kalakua happens to be a very close personal friend of mine.
It's done, sir.
Thank you, Steve.
Already done, boss.
I bailed him out, took him home.
The last of the bigtime spenders, huh? How come? Sam Kalakua is some kind of distant uncle of mine.
He's the last of the anointed.
Sounds to me like Kono's nine-tenth Hawaiian and one-tenth cop.
For sure, Danny.
My great-grandfather carried a spear for Sam's great-grandfather.
Did he say anything about his cutting loose with that rifle? Yeah.
He was shooting at Pele.
Oh, come on, Kono.
Pele, goddess of fire? You got it, boss.
She's only a superstitious legend.
A myth.
She's real to Sam.
Says she came over to his house last night.
He was trying to drive her off.
And did he drive her off? Yeah, but she'll be back.
A war to the end.
Come one, Kono.
We'd better talk to Sam Kalakua.
Danno, hold down the fort.
That's Sam's kahuna.
How can a man cling to the ancient beliefs in this day and age? Will you tell me? People got to believe in something, boss.
Even if it's a high priest like the kahuna.
I'll buy that, Kono.
MCGARRETT: Good morning, sir.
What do you want here? I'm Steve McGarrett, Mr.
Kalakua.
He's with you, Kono? My boss.
Why have you come here? Well, you were involved in a little trouble last night, Mr.
Kalakua.
What happened last night was not a police matter.
You fired a gun.
You were arrested.
That's a police matter.
A man's home is his castle.
And this is mine in the most literal sense.
But if I were nothing more than a man who buys his bread by selling the flowers he grows, I would have the same rights.
I was protecting myself.
From Pele? Kono told you.
I'd like to ask you a few questions about it.
No questions need to be asked if no answers need to be given.
My statement is on record down at your police headquarters.
Please leave me now.
Just a minute, sir.
Something happened last night.
Right here.
And you know that.
Now, I respect your version of it, but I'm a man of this century.
I say there is no such thing as the goddess Pele.
My only son was killed in the war.
If nothing else, that tragedy makes me a man of this century too.
I know what I saw last night.
It was Pele.
If I hadn't driven her off, I would now be dead.
All right.
Perhaps you saw something.
A shadow.
Maybe you dreamed it.
A man living alone in a house like this can see many things.
I saw Pele.
If she comes again, I will defend myself again.
There is nothing you can do about it.
You can be put in jail.
That would accomplish nothing.
She would only find me there.
I would be defenseless.
She would kill me, it would be on your head.
Why would Pele wanna kill you? I've already asked the kahuna that.
He tells me she desires my house to live in.
But why your house? She will live only in the house of the anointed, in the place where the royal ilima grows.
Did the kahuna say it was okay to fight her off? If I can.
Well, then, let us help you.
But you don't believe.
But you do.
Please, show us where you saw her.
I was standing here.
Right here.
And then she appeared out there.
I fired three shots.
Finally, she disappeared.
Kono, check this area out here.
What did, uh? What did Pele look like? She was ghostlike.
Many colors, all shimmering like the fires of hell.
Did she talk to you? Make any sound? A wail.
A scream.
There was discordant music.
Once, I heard the rush of lava as it neared the mouth of the volcano.
Why do you look at me so strangely? Everything I've told you is the truth.
I believe you.
Then, you will help me fight Pele as you said? I'll help you.
Mahalo.
Boss.
Found it near the bushes.
On a line from the window he shot through.
Think it's anything? I don't know.
Synthetic.
It's burned around the edges.
There's no sign of a fire back there.
One of the bullets he fired could have ripped it away from something.
Huh? I beg your pardon.
Were you here to see Sam Kalakua? Yes.
Well, I'm George Kalakua.
Sam's nephew.
And this is my wife, Eleanor.
How do you do? I'm Steve McGarrett, Five-0.
You both know Kono.
Yes, of course.
Can we be of any help to you? I suppose you're here about last night.
That's right.
Is there anything you can tell us about it? Well, there's really not much to tell.
My uncle's getting very old.
I imagine the return to some belief in which he was raised is only to be expected.
I can understand his calling on the big kahuna for comfort but how do you account for a visitation from the goddess Pele? It is your first experience with the Hawaiian dark ages, Mr.
McGarrett? No, not yours, I take it.
So far as Sam Kalakua's concerned.
He's had hallucinations before.
Has he had help? Only from his kahuna.
Herbs and those things.
We've tried but he won't see a doctor.
Have you tried to get him to give up the house? Often, but he won't hear of it.
Your concern seems more than official, Mr.
McGarrett.
He's a descendent of the great kings of Hawaii, Mrs.
Kalakua.
A fine old gentleman.
Why shouldn't we be concerned? It's just that there's no need.
Let's consider this a family affair.
We'll take care of Uncle.
The embarrassment of an official mess, we'd like very much to avoid that if we can, McGarrett.
Okay? Let's go.
Sam Kalakua.
( crashing ) Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
Mr.
Kalakua, I ask you again.
Why did you cause that explosion to occur on your property last night? Why did you create a hazardous situation with possible grave consequences, both for yourself and for your neighbors? Will you answer me, please? Why should I speak while I am being held here like some caged animal in a zoo? Mr.
Kalakua, this is an informal preliminary hearing to determine whether you should or should not be bound over for psychiatric examination.
Remaining silent can in no way help your cause.
Your Honor, may I offer some kind of an explanation, please? I understand your concern as a relative, Mrs.
Kalakua.
But the explanation must come from Mr.
Kalakua.
Now, Mr.
Kalakua, will you tell us about your behavior of last night? It's very simple, Your Honor.
I threw the lamp in self-defense.
When it landed outside it exploded.
You mean, you saw an intruder? No, but she was there.
She? Pele, the goddess of fire.
Mr.
Kalakua, are you saying that you believe you actually saw, or somehow knew that the goddess Pele was present at your home last night? I am.
Your Honor, if I might offer some explanation? I think some is needed somewhere, Mrs.
Kalakua.
You know of Mr.
Kalakua's background, of his roots in the past of this island.
To him there is indeed a spirit called Pele.
And he was trying to defend himself to keep her away with fire.
We all have beliefs that seem strange to one another and I think he's entitled to his, except that his beliefs, or his sense of mysticism or whatever it is that drove him to his actions, seems a little more pronounced in him than is normal.
My niece is well-meaning but wrong.
I know what I see.
I know what I hear.
The goddess Pele seeks my destruction and I must defend myself against her.
Your Honor? Yes, Mr.
McGarrett? I ask the court's permission to propose an alternative to an immediate psychiatric examination.
And that is? A recess of 48 hours.
Give Mr.
Kalakua's friends and relatives an opportunity to investigate this matter a little more thoroughly.
I realize this is not the usual procedure but this is not a usual case.
He's never been in trouble before these incidents.
And I think that much respect and consideration is due this gentleman who is a descendent of the great kings of Hawaii.
Will you guarantee Mr.
Kalakua's appearance? Yes, sir, I will.
Very well.
This court stands adjourned until day after tomorrow at the same time.
Thank you, McGarrett.
No big thing, sir.
Danno, that old man lives in the middle of one of Hawaii's biggest boom areas.
He's sitting on $3 million worth of choice property.
You think someone's trying to force him off of it? I think it's a possibility.
Look into it, huh? Kono, get ahold of Chin.
Go over the grounds again around Kalakua's house.
What do we look for? Proof.
Absolute proof that this is a police matter.
Go, brudda.
Something's eating you, Kono? Who me? What should be eating me? Can't see much haole blood in you.
Maybe this bit of goddess Pele and the rest of it is getting to you.
I'm a cop, remember? Yeah.
You're Hawaiian, remember? Notice something, Kono? Yeah, I notice.
Kalakua throws a burning lamp out the window only nothing out here burns.
It explodes and there's no sign.
Kerosene ain't digestible.
It's not kerosene.
It's a chemical of some kind.
Look at this.
You ready for a goddess with an oil leak? Just like you're ready for a fire that doesn't burn.
Well.
Stick around, Williams.
You're good luck.
Maybe you can bring me some.
I'm trying to find out who's interested in the property owned by Sam Kalakua.
Isn't every land developer? Kalakua's ten acres is worth a gold mine.
Crazy old man.
How's that? Well, what has he done with the property? Turned it into a haunted house in the middle of a jungle.
I'd be willing to pay him a buck for every weed he's got on the place.
If he'd only sell.
Have you made him an offer? More than one.
He said no? That's what I'm told.
What do you mean? Well, who could talk to the nut? My brokers had to yell at him through the window.
He threatened them with a rifle if they wouldn't get off his property.
Tell me, would it be worth any money to anybody if they could convince him to sell? Are you kidding? I'd be willing to put out $100,000 in cash as a finder's fee to anyone who can convince that kook to sell that property to me.
Oh, incidentally, would you be interested? A hundred big ones if you can convince him to sell that property to me.
How about it? It's not exactly my bag, Mr.
Glazer.
Well, it's just a thought.
Somebody's gonna buy that property someday.
Think about it, Wilson.
Williams.
Oh, yeah, Williams.
Well, as the man said, "A rose by any other name" And a hundred thou is a hundred thou.
A hundred thousand dollars? That's a lot of money for a finder's fee, Danno.
Yeah.
Then I checked out a hunch.
I found there's a note on George Kalakua's business for $150,000 secured by a chattel mortgage.
Who holds it? Barney Glazer.
That's interesting.
What else do we have? This piece of material found yesterday.
Checked it out with the lab.
Special kind of shiny fabric used to make movie projection screens.
That's interesting too.
( knocks ) Got something? Got a report on the pieces of lamp in the explosion.
Magnesium, sulfur, nitrate, just a little kerosene.
Somebody loaded that lamp with Chinese New Year's stuff.
Quite a combination.
Projection screens and fireworks.
I don't get it.
I'm convinced somebody's trying to force Sam Kalakua off his property.
Why don't we tell him he's being set up? He'd never believe it.
We need proof.
Chin, see if you can find out where that fireworks display came from.
Then you and Kono stake out the house.
I want Sam Kalakua under 24-hour surveillance.
I don't want anybody getting to him again.
Good as done.
Danno, see if you can find out where this projection screen material came from.
Projection screen distributors, wholesalers, stores.
If there's anything unusual about it, maybe it will lead us somewhere.
Right.
You know something? They'll have to kill that old man to get him out of there.
I think they tried.
What would have happened if that lamp exploded when he picked it up? Well, Mr.
McGarrett.
Care to join me for a dip? There are trunks in the dressing room.
No thanks.
A drink? Mm-mm.
No swim, no drink.
There must be some reason you've come to see me.
Yeah.
Curiosity.
Flattering, if it's about me.
About your husband.
Is he around? If I know George, he's around a bar someplace with a girl much too young.
That doesn't bother you? Let's say I've grown used to it.
And there are certain practical advantages.
I trade a little pain for a lot of luxury.
You're here about George's uncle? Yeah.
Why? We think he's the victim of a conspiracy.
I don't understand.
Well, we think that someone's using his deep beliefs, his primitive commitment to the supernatural, to gain control of his property.
I take it you can prove what you say? I'm gonna try.
Why here? Why not? You and your husband know him best.
You're closest to him.
And to your policeman's way of thinking that makes us the most logical suspects to engage in a plan to drive him out of his mind, is that it? Is that what you're trying to do, Mrs.
Kalakua? Oh.
You didn't come here to ask me a question like that, Mr.
McGarrett.
If we're guilty, it's stupid.
And if we're innocent, it's insulting.
So exactly why did you come? Well, I have a theory, Mrs.
Kalakua.
I'm merely trying to probe the areas that might prove or disprove it.
Well, I have a theory too, Mr.
McGarrett.
That Uncle is growing senile.
And his superstitions bring on the visions of Pele, and those superstitions may cause harmful injury to himself or to others.
If the psychiatric examination bears me out, they'll have to appoint a conservator.
And if it doesn't, no one could be happier than George and me.
So why don't you go play cops and robbers someplace else? And stop bothering me about that poor superstitious old man.
All staked out.
H.
P.
D.
is covering the rear and the other side.
You okay? Sure.
The last time I saw you look like that, someone had a gun at your head.
Ain't very funny, brudda.
You believe in Pele, huh? You gotta be kidding.
I ain't believed in Pele since I was 4 years old.
You know, I suddenly feel like I'm 4 years old.
I'll check around.
Sam Kalakua.
Pele.
Pele, stop.
No.
Don't.
No! No! No! No! Aah! Where is he? The doc's in there with him.
No business allowed.
How come you blew it? We didn't blow anything, boss.
What's Sam Kalakua doing here? Who got to him and how? Nobody.
So help me, nobody.
You're not making sense.
That's how it was.
We had the whole grounds surrounded.
There wasn't a sound.
Not a light in the house except for the little lamp he was reading by.
And then he screamed.
Man, what a scream.
Thought I'd fly up to the second floor without wings.
That was all? Just a scream? That's it.
We came in, found him lying there on the floor, nobody around.
No sign, no smell, no sound of nothing.
How is he, doctor? Heart action and respiration indicate deep shock.
Tests show some kind of a drug in the bloodstream.
Well, couldn't it be medicine, sleeping pills of some sort? No, it's not sedative.
Probably hallucinogenic.
Can you tell when he took it? A few hours ago, perhaps.
Condition's critical right now.
Was he conscious when they brought him in? Semi.
He was fantasizing.
Mumbling something about the goddess Pele.
Dr Moore, please report to Surgery A.
Dr Moore, report to Surgery A at once.
Excuse me, please.
There probably won't be any change until morning.
Well, if there is, doctor, call me at Five-0 office, McGarrett.
Of course.
How's Kalakua? How would you feel if somebody out of a volcano wanted to lay it on you? Got something, Danno? Yeah, I think so.
I got a sample of that projection screen material you wanted.
It's pretty rare.
It's called French lite.
Uh-huh.
Who uses it? The only movie company shooting on the island right now.
Hawaii.
Blinded by its own legend.
We print that.
We print that.
Kemp? Williams, Five-0.
Is that your phone number, Jack? We'd like to talk to you.
Oh, man, what's the rap? What's the rap? Using public property for commercial purposes without a license.
Let's go.
All right.
Nobody gets into my patch of grass until I get back, all right? All right, Kemp, you've been apprised of your constitutional rights and you also know you're entitled to have an attorney present.
What do I need an attorney for, man? I ain't done nothing.
What are you on, Kemp? Pills? Acid? What? Nothing.
Nothing.
Just me, my engaging personality.
I never could take pills.
Ask my mom, she's in Kansas.
Did you laugh that hard when you drugged Sam Kalakua? Oh, man, you're something else.
Oh, you are really something else.
Man, why would I give what's-his-face a free trip to nirvana? All I do is make movies, like I told you, Jack, and that is all.
That's all, man.
You ever use this kind of process screen? Sure.
I get great effects with it.
Psychedelic effects? Oh, you guessed it.
The greatest.
You're pretty good.
Let me tell you.
There ain't none better.
There ain't none better, Jack.
Here, have a card.
You might want some baby pictures made sometime.
Here, it says it right there: "Alistair Kemp, the world's greatest director.
" See it right there? We're very impressed.
You can do anything.
Well, Jack, if it can be done with a camera, the big K can do it.
Like making a ghost come through that window? Or that door? Hey, man.
What do you mean? What is this ghost scene you're talking about? There's an old man lying in a hospital right now.
He's liable to die.
And if he does, someone's gonna be charged with murder.
Oh, man, you bug me.
You really bug me.
What has the big M got to do with Alistair Kemp? Could be you'll be in Oahu State Prison making movies on a life contract.
( knocks ) Come in.
Getting anywhere? Might be some sweat forming inside that acidhead.
Good.
Stick with him, Danno.
Ten to one, he's got the goddess Pele stashed away somewhere on a roll of film.
( phone buzzes ) Hello? When? Alert Fergus at H.
P.
D.
, I want an all points out on the double.
Sam Kalakua's disappeared.
Sneaked out of the hospital.
Left a note saying he was going somewhere to die.
Come on, Chin.
Let's go.
You got a problem.
But I thought everything was? Steve McGarrett and his people picked up Kemp this morning.
Anything happen? Kemp said no.
He's an acidhead.
Something will happen, believe me.
Well, what are we going to do? You're sweating, George.
It's what you're gonna do.
I want Kalakua's ten acres and I want it in 24 hours.
But there's no time.
Look, all you have to do is wait until he's declared incompetent.
As executor, I can sell the property-- Shut up, George.
You'll have your deed, Glazer.
I thought I would.
We read each other pretty good.
Why not? We have a lot in common.
What happens if we don't come up with it that quick? Well, then generous Mr.
Glazer will take our business and the house.
And little Eleanor's last best dream of the jet set life.
I couldn't have put it any better if I said it myself.
Well, what are we going to do? Stupid, stupid, George.
I'm not stupid enough to think we can drive Uncle insane in 24 hours.
I don't care how often he sees Pele.
We can't.
It would take at least a week or more to have him committed and another week to get you appointed executor of the estate.
That's what I said.
But there is one thing we can do in 24 hours.
We can kill him.
Five hundred cops out there looking for Sam Kalakua, and we can't find him.
Nobody, but nobody knows this island like Sam, boss.
He knows caves, ravines, forests that ain't been found yet.
One thing for sure, he's too smart to come back to this house.
He knows it's staked out.
Hospital's covered in case he goes back there.
Not a chance, Chin.
Sam Kalakua's out there somewhere saying goodbye to his beloved island.
Feeling he's doomed and wanting to die.
You're uptight, boss.
The APB will pick him up.
Alive or dead? ( praying in foreign dialect ) You spoke of this place often.
I was hoping I might find you here.
It is here I played as a child.
It is here that I now pray as an old man.
Why have you come? The police are looking for you.
Your picture is in every paper.
They hunt me as a beast is hunted.
I say to you, I have never raised my hand to mankind.
My only sins are the private sins of the soul.
So if you've come to take me back, it is too late.
For Pele will no longer be denied.
She will have my life after the sky grows dark.
I already feel the weakening in my bones, a corruption in the heart, and the blood that sustains me turns to venom.
I just heard your prayer.
You asked for your kahuna.
Why do you want him? I seek his final blessings, to sustain me in the fires of Pele's world.
But I have searched for him everywhere.
I fear I will not find him in time.
I can help you, Uncle.
But how can I send you to him to die? I must pray with him, without his final blessings, I will be tortured by Pele for eternity.
Please, nephew.
All right.
I heard he was last seen meditating on Na Pali.
Na Pali.
I will go to him.
What about the police? There are many ways to Na Pali.
Dark and long forgotten.
But I remember.
Bless you, my nephew.
May the gods of the kupuna smile on you and your beloved wife.
Anybody here? Anybody here? Oh, yeah.
What are you? Some kind of klepto? I mean, ain't there laws against cops moonlighting as criminals? That's my work of art.
Your work of art happens to be evidence.
And I've got a piece of paper in my pocket to prove I can take it.
Paper? What do I care about paper? That's museum material you got there, square.
Hey, cats, help! Get him, cats.
Hold it.
Your friend here is involved in several charges of conspiracy and he's in a lot of trouble.
You want to join him, try to stop us.
Let's go, Kemp.
Hey, barbarian, there's prizewinning film in there.
Don't worry, you're gonna get something for it, I'll promise you that.
Come on.
Hold it, Chin.
Hold it.
Run it back, slowly.
Now forward, a few frames.
Stop.
There it is.
There's our proof.
Eleanor Kalakua as Pele, goddess of fire.
Boss? Yeah? Got a call from one of my cousins.
Just spotted Sam Kalakua.
He's on his way out to Na Pali.
Let's go, Danno.
( action theme playing ) ( sirens blaring ) Kahuna! Mighty kahuna! Show yourself to your son, the anointed one! Bless me, great priest, so that I will have the strength to withstand Pele's fiery breath.
PELE: Sam Kalakua.
Sam Kalakua.
The kahuna will not come to you.
It is I, Pele, who has come for you.
No.
No.
Please, Pele, no! I have come for you, Sam Kalakua.
I am waiting.
No! You can not defy me! Your doom awaits now.
Now.
MCGARRETT: Sam! Aah! Easy, Sam.
It's all over.
But Pele is not mortal.
She cannot die.
But your niece is.
And she has died.
Come on.
It looks good, sir.
It looks good.
I'd like to ask you a question, Mr.
McGarrett.
What's gonna happen to my nephew, George? Oh, he'll stand trial along with Barney Glazer and Alistair Kemp.
But I am not a vengeful man.
Forgiveness is a way to heaven.
My father used to say: "'Tis easier for the generous to forgive than for offense to ask it.
" Mahalo , McGarrett.
You're welcome, sir.
And don't worry about Pele.
She won't bother this house again.
Because it doesn't belong to either of you.
It belongs to the future.