Head of the Class (2021) s01e01 Episode Script


1 I didn't get any sleep last night.
I was up working on my coding project.
Turned out good, though.
I already had swim practice today, have a trig test later, and AP French presentation.
Nice! But French is a dead language.
Everybody taking Japanese say "Mochiron da yo!" Mochiron da yo.
Come on, buddy, get amped.
Your energy is down here, right, and I need it up here.
Ryan Porter's party invites drop today.
It's gonna be epic.
Ba, ba Bah! Can you believe because we're women, we're gonna earn 17.
7% less than Mister "Meet me in the library"? Let's go.
Sorry, but, um, as a rule, I don't follow suspicious notes to a second location, so No, come on, Miles, I'm curious now.
Hey, Luke, grab the lectern in case we need it.
You don't get to tell me what to do.
I'm grabbing it.
Oh, there's my class! Welcome to Honors Debate.
I'm your new teacher, Ms.
Gomez, but call me Alicia, or "My Shero.
" Little too much? You probably didn't need the word "little," but yeah.
Principal Maris left me an attendance list, but I don't know who's who, so I'll start.
I'm I want to see if I can make a better second impression by matching the name to the vibe.
Sounds cool, sounds edgy.
You? Yeah.
Makes you Makayla? Yes.
And now the wall of dudes! I'm gonna go with Terrell, Miles, Luke.
That's amaz How did you do that? It's my gift.
That, and she included your pictures next to your names.
I'm really proud of that.
Let's start class.
Hey, uh, what happened to your old teacher, anyway? Oh, Mr.
Stasseson watched an X Games promo, went full-on midlife crisis, and decided to try snowboarding.
Did he got a concussion or break a bone or something? That depends.
Are teeth bones? 'Cause then, yeah, all of them.
May I ask a question? Why are we in the library? You guys are in traditional classrooms all day long, and it's always been a part of my teaching sell to, like, switch things up.
Really? Okay.
Where did you teach before? Nowhere.
This is my first time.
But I'm feeling really good about it.
Don't worry.
I got this.
So, uh, FightingFoxesRule.
Okay! That's the Wi-Fi password, so we will teach ourselves while you do what all the other substitute teachers do check your 'Gram, uh, listen to murder podcasts, whatever.
Hey, dude.
Not a sub.
Permanent teacher in charge of your grade.
Uh-oh! Think we got off on the wrong foot, Ali.
Can I call you Ali? Absolutely not.
According to the syllabus, you are debating cancel culture.
Does anybody want to start us off? Always happy to go first.
Cancel culture originated to protect minorities from Oh, wait, that is the textbook definition, Terrell.
And I really want to know how it makes you feel.
Well, it's definitely making me regret the whole "happy to go first" thing.
Look, eventually, somebody's going to ask you guys for your personal opinion on something, and if you don't have one, it's gonna bite you GPA junkies on the ass.
Can she call us junkies? Well, you can't leave out the GPA part, 'cause that might get me fired, maybe even canceled.
You see what I did there? I brought it all the way back.
That was a really good teaching moment, huh? And she's sitting next to me.
Oh, I like to move around a lot, so you might want to get used to it.
All right.
Anybody have an actual opinion? All right, fine.
Cancel culture sucks.
Look, I'm captain of the swim team, and college recruiters are all up in my Insta.
I'm always sweatin' making a mistake, in or out of the pool.
I'll be back.
So, do you guys feel like, if you make one mistake, it's gonna ruin your whole life? Are you familiar with the Internet? Truth is, we've worked way too hard to let anything jeopardize our futures, in or out of the pool.
You really like saying that, don't you? I really do.
Okay, but we can't make all of our decisions based on fear.
Uh, Miles, what is the biggest risk you've taken this year? I don't know.
Probably attending class in the library.
Give me my Pop-Tart! Ms.
Principle Maris.
How is your first day going? It actually started out kind of rough You know what? That's my fault.
I'm not in the mood for small talk today.
Um, this is from the Parents' Association.
Ooh, welcome basket.
Nice! Mm, it's actually more of a "Warning Basket.
" You teach an advanced elective full of academically obsessed teens.
Shocker the parents are even more obsessed.
Like in a good way, right? Yes, because obsession is usually a positive thing.
Anyhoo, um, all these parents care about is getting their oh-so-very special children into elite colleges.
And if they feel that you're derailing that in any way, they're gonna make it my problem, which, in turn, will be your problem.
Hence the Warning Basket.
Yeah, no, message received and processed and received.
I couldn't think of a third word.
I'm so sorry.
You're a little scared of me, aren't you? Yes, I am.
That is so sweet.
Look, you have to understand all the issues that these young kids are going through, but you were one of them like 10 minutes ago.
I mean the way you carry yourself, your complete unearned confidence.
Honestly, it's like you're still one of them.
You don't seem happy about that.
It's not my favorite.
Still, with your past, I think you have a unique ability to connect with these kids.
Or not.
In which case, no biggie, we'll move on.
Just, like, let me know either way.
Don't make me like you.
That's not fair.
Our names aren't on the list.
No surprise, really.
You and I never get invited.
I know that this is a popularity thing.
But I thought I might pull the invite this year.
After all, I came back 3 inches taller.
I upgraded my look to business casual.
My voice is lower.
'Sup, Sarah? FYI, I'm getting my driver's license five months from yesterday.
That exchange went a lot better in your head, didn't it? Yes, it did.
Live and ya learn.
I really enjoy her.
Whatever! She's missing out, 'cause I'm like Tesla my stock is on the rise.
Hey, guys.
Hey, I just saw the invites.
Are you guys okay? Yeah, thanks.
It would've been nice to be included.
If it makes you feel any better, I never go to Ryan's lame-ass parties.
Why?! If it weren't for my practice and physics lab, I would be there.
Those parties are epic.
Really? 'Cause you're talking to our friends who weren't invited.
Right! Parties suck.
Just help yourself.
I-I'm much more interested in hearing how your first day Oh, you got gummy worms?! I'm Elliot.
What do you teach? The truth.
Actually, English.
And I also coach J.
basketball and supervise the A.
So if you need help with your SMART Board or your jump shot, I'm your guy.
You're really into this teaching thing, huh? I'm a teacher, so yeah.
I just wanted a job where we could leave at 3:00 p.
and still score health insurance.
You do know you got to grade papers and homework after school, right? You do know I teach debate, right? You argue, you get an A.
Look, I tried the whole "all work, all day" thing.
It did not go well.
I'm talking like Can't wait to hear the story.
You should turn your dial to disappointment 'cause that story will never be told.
Look, uh, cool teach to cool teach, our job, it's not like other gigs.
Teaching's a calling.
You can't be great at it and not get sucked in.
I'm not getting sucked in, though.
Well, I've heard that before, but you're like you're like a fish just staring at a worm on a hook.
You're saying you're not gonna eat it.
But after a while, you think, "Um, maybe just a bite.
" I'm not eating a worm, dude.
Oh, I'm calling you "early bird," 'cause you will go to town on that worm.
Then, uh-oh, you got a taste for 'em.
Next thing you know, you're not just giving a student extra help.
You're taking them on guided tours of 18 out of the 21 California missions.
Oh, my God, Elliot.
Did you actually do that? It's not important.
And that pretty much sums up cancel culture.
I yield my time.
Okay, is Luke definitely doing our debate conclusion? Because you can't keep ending every argument with, "As a future U.
Senator, I know I am right.
" You can if it's true.
God, grant me the confidence of a white man.
Guys, our first inter-school debate is not for a couple weeks, so we don't need to figure out who opens and closes yet.
More importantly, you're all too formal.
You're defeating the purpose of the casual classroom.
Come on, spread out.
Get comfy.
Extra credit if you spread out.
Come on! This library setup is legit.
The water fountain up there best one in the school.
The water is ice-cold.
All in favor of making the relocation permanent.
No way! Miles, it was a fake vote.
Did you not hear how cold the water is? Sorry.
I just got invited to Ryan's party.
Nice! Hey, I'm betting I'll get added to the list, too.
Found out why I got neg.
Short Sarah told Tall Sarah to tell Ryan's girlfriend, Vegan Sarah, not to invite me, 'cause on our group text, I hit "thumbs down" instead of "haha" on her joke about oat milk.
Hey, anyone need a refill? Yes, please.
Still not going, though.
My parents want me to work on Model UN with Luke.
Well, y'all know I'm out.
I'm teaching chess club how to play "Overwatch" tonight for 100 bucks.
What? You charged me $300! That was the asshat tax.
Wait, my invite says, "You don't have to come if you're too busy.
" Oof.
Um, I'm sorry, dude, but that sounds like a mom-vite.
Whoa, whoa.
Hold on, now.
Does your mom even know Ryan's mom? They're yoga besties.
Aww! Old lady squad goals.
But definite mom-vite.
Hey, skip the party.
Okay? No, definitely go.
Dude, it is our way in.
Don't take advice from Model UN over here.
Come on.
Hey, guys.
Shouldn't this be about what Miles wants? Hey, how did getting the invite make you feel? Uh, psyched, I guess.
Then don't let fear keep you from saying yes.
Go dance with a stranger.
I don't know, eat an entire coffee cake.
Unfriend your mom on Facebook.
Okay, I'm in.
Taking risks.
I love it.
All right.
Have a good weekend.
Hey, great job.
Oh, thank you so much.
What'd I do? Look.
Ryan and his crew pick on people for fun.
Miles is too genuine.
They're gonna crush him.
Well, you you can't be sure of that.
Maybe Miles will surprise you.
Maybe he'll be strong and confident and strong.
Why can't I ever think of a third word? Okay, my shero.
No, no.
My hair is way too short to go out tonight.
Aren't there any parties like six weeks from now? You always do this.
What is the worst that could happen? I do something stupid.
When I walk home, I'm so in my head, I get hit by a bus, and at my funeral, my hair is six weeks too short! This is a big moment for us, man.
Just this once, can you try to be optimistic? Ryan doesn't want me there.
Nailed it.
Just think of all the hot guys you'll get to meet, and when we both get the invite next time, think of all the hot girls who will get to meet me.
Besides, you remember what Ali said in class? Not to call her Ali.
That doesn't sound like Ali.
You can't let fear keep you from saying yes.
And I need you to understand, when fear talks to me, I listen.
Fear kept me from getting frosted tips.
Fear is my friend.
I hear ya.
Forget the party.
You're still gonna make me go, aren't you? Yep.
You leave in 30 minutes! Hey, you've reached Elliott.
This is a live person.
Leave a message.
Hello? You are so lucky I'm not the dork police.
Yeah, psht, I've been hassled by them before.
Hey, uh, do you know Miles Alvarez's social media handle? I gave him advice So, you are at home on your own time, and you're worried about a student? Would you like some Sriracha with that worm? They're much better spicy.
I'm not worried.
Admit it, or I won't help you.
Okay, you don't have to.
I'll help you anyway.
Miles and I follow each other on Insta.
Hold up.
My iPad's still connected to the SMART Board.
Oh, my God! It's 7:00 on a Friday.
Are you still at school? No! What are you talking about? I'm at the club.
Turn that music down! Okay, fine.
I'm here, okay? Just text me when you find his info, okay? Okay, done and done.
Call me abacus, 'cause you can count on Hello? Oh, Miles promised he'd livestream the party.
Do you mind if we take a break? Even though it's Friday night and we're studying for Model UN, I want to do this forever.
Get it.
I'm here.
Waving hello to no one.
And now I'm leaving.
Alvarez, you came! Wow.
That sweater is green.
Bro, you look like Pickle Rick.
Pickle Miles.
I do not like that Ryan at all.
I got to go tell my mom.
She'll be stoked you're here.
Mom-vite knew it.
Aw, man! Mom-vite.
Mm, frickin' mom-vite.
Aw, mom-vitation.
Aw, sweetie.
What are you doing? Hiding, thinking about drowning myself in the toilet.
All right, dude.
You got to get back out there.
I mean, at Ryan's parties, there's always guys playing "Fortnite.
" Go show off.
You almost beat me once.
Nah, I don't think I can.
You just got to own it.
All right.
Work it.
Model faces.
Duck face.
All right.
Give me one of the Olsen twins.
You're ready.
Get back out there.
Ryan is going at your friend pretty hard.
Oh, no, no.
My boy's gonna turn it around.
Um, no offense, but why do they call you Tall Sarah? It's an old nickname.
In preschool, I might've been a giant.
- Ohh! - Oh.
You play claw grip? Noice.
I've got skills.
They're multiplying.
That's a line from "Grease.
" I'm told.
Yo, Alvarez squads up with me next.
I can't believe he bounced back.
I can't believe I'm not there.
I can't believe Ryan doesn't know "Grease.
" You know what? I'm happy for Miles.
Me too.
Hey, you know this is the boys' locker room, right? Calm down.
Nobody's naked.
You and I might date.
I haven't decided yet.
What now? Did y'all hear? Come on.
Oh, hey, Mrs.
P, I just wanted to thank you for the mom-vite.
Check out Miles owning it.
You're chill.
Why do you always hang around that guy, Luke? Awesome.
Wait, what? He texted me twice, asking if it was a mistake he wasn't invited, and then a third time asking for my mom's number.
That's crazy desperate, right? Come on, bro.
Just admit it.
Um Yeah, I guess sometimes Luke can be a little I don't know thirsty.
Ohhh! Verified Luke Burrows is a thirsty boy.
His own best friend.
That's got to sting.
Ohh! Ohh! Ooh! No, dude! Oooh! Fart! So Model UN? What the hell is a thirsty boy? I really appreciate you guys checking on me.
Yeah, you know we got your back.
Plus, I love these muffins.
Um Carol said you were here.
Who's Carol? Okay.
"Thirsty"? How could you say that? I know.
Just let me explain.
I defend you to anybody who says stuff anybody.
Karate class, third grade You forgot your gi and had to wear your mom's pink shortie robe, which she keeps in her purse for reasons that we don't want to think about.
People laughed.
I defended you, but you can't speak up to that jerk? You are that desperate to be at some stupid party? Quit pretending like you didn't care about the party.
You only pushed me to go so that you could have your in, your "stock's on the rise" or whatever.
Who says stuff like that? People who like financial sector metaphors.
That's who.
Well, guess what? It's a little thirsty.
You know what, Miles? That's it.
We're done.
Good luck on your own.
Oh, no.
What am I gonna do? Are you kidding me, man? You are so afraid of everything.
If it weren't for me, you would never leave your house.
Did you guys know that Tall Sarah is actually shorter than Short Sarah? Not the time.
That is a great color on you.
Is it? How was your weekend? You don't like small talk.
You don't care, so this feels like a trap.
Well done.
You passed the first test.
My weekend was super fun.
Got some texts from the parents, and you know how I love the parents.
Something about you convincing someone to go to a party and thirsty boys.
I told them you'd handle it.
You're smiling, but your eyes are chopping me into little pieces.
Always believe the eyes.
If only someone saw this coming.
Okay, cancel culture.
Yeah? Let's dive back in.
Uh, if someone does something egregious, is it okay to call them out and have them disappear forever? Anyone want to say anything? Anyone? Just do it! Um people do need to know that there are consequences for their behavior.
Especially if they deserve it.
But who decides if they deserve it? Think about it is every mistake one and done, or do people deserve second chances? Because that's how we make change in the world.
Luke? Miles? I'll go.
Um I understand wanting to cancel somebody if he said something stupid and hurtful.
Ow! Okay.
Well, as a future Senator I know everyone deserves a chance to apologize, especially since I didn't behave so well myself.
I can't believe I said all that stuff.
I was nervous, and I panicked.
I'm really sorry.
I get it, man.
I do, but just to keep it 100, it's gonna take me a while to get over it.
I understand.
Okay, over it! Tell me everything.
Headline Ryan's room is filled with participation trophies.
It's tragic.
Next time you're invited to Ryan's, I promise I will try not to make it all about me.
Non-issue, 'cause I'm never going anywhere again.
Whoa! Whoa! That's the wrong lesson.
What happened to taking risks? Tried it.
It's not for me.
Look, I know that high school is a minefield.
I mean, your parents are in your ears.
You have to take the right classes and get into the right colleges.
It's like you have to have your entire lives figured out right now and one mistake could derail everything in or out of the pool.
I feel seen.
Yeah, it's 'cause I know what you guys are going through.
No offense, really, but you have no clue what it's like.
Look, 10 years ago I was you.
I was GPA-obsessed, all school all the time.
Look, when I graduated from Yale, got hired by Google, my life was supposed to be set, but I was so focused on success that I forgot to figure out what made me happier, and it all boiled over at a morning meeting that started with me spilling a mango smoothie on myself and ended with me crying on top of a ping pong table, screaming, "I don't wanna be here!" over and over and over.
I'm still trying to get that thing off YouTube.
Makayla, please don't look.
I just I don't want you guys to be like me.
I want you to stay open to new things, and don't let anybody tell you what you should be passionate about, because that is for you to decide.
And if you don't, I promise you you're gonna regret it forever.
How good was that speech? I mean, like, an orchestra should have been playing behind me or something, and at least one of you should have clapped.
Luke, it's too late.
Felt it when I did it, Ali.
I am filling up my water bottle, and then we are actually gonna get into the next debate topic, 'cause I am supposed to teach you guys stuff.
I don't wanna be here.
What are you guys watching? wanna be here! I don't wanna be here! I'm not getting down! Get off me! No! No, no, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no! No! No! No!