Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e35 Episode Script

- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
HE'S MIXING
WITH THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
YOU'LL FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH ♪
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
- NO TIME TO WASTE.
- UH-OH!
[TEETH CHATTERING]
- I'M SORRY, SPIKE.
NO TIME TO MAKE
YOUR LIFE MISERABLE.
TODAY'S THE DAY THEY ANNOUNCE
THE PRIZEWINNER
ON MY FAVORITE
TELEVISION SHOW.
- WHEW!
- OH, I GUESS
I CAN SPARE
A FEW SECONDS
FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
I WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE
TO GET THE WRONG IMPRESSION,
LIKE I WAS GETTING
SICK OR SOMETHING.
- COME ON, HEATHCLIFF.
GIVE ME A--
BREAK!
- THAT DIDN'T TAKE
TOO LONG.
I STILL GOT TIME
TO CATCH THE END OF THE SHOW.
- SAFE AT LAST.
WHOA!
[GROANING]
- WHAT THE--OH, NO!
HUH? WHAT?
WHERE IS IT?
SOMEBODY STOLE THE TV!
- LOOKING
FOR THE TELEVISION?
IT'S UPSTAIRS
WITH IGGY.
IGGY'S SICK IN BED, SO WE
BROUGHT HIM THE TELEVISION.
- AHH, IT LOOKS
LIKE YOU NEED TO GE
PLENTY OF REST, IGGY.
IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN GET FOR YOU?
- I'D LIKE SOME
CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM,
SOME COMIC BOOKS,
AND A PIECE OF PIE.
- YOU JUST REST HERE,
AND I'LL GET YOU
EVERYTHING YOU NEED.
- MEOW!
- AND THOSE ARE OUR WINNERS
THIS WEEK.
IF YOU DIDN'T WIN,
DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK
WITH MORE GREAT PRIZES.
- OH, SWELL.
JUST SWELL.
- SORRY YOU MISSED
YOUR SHOW, HEATHCLIFF.
I HAVE TO HAVE
THE TELEVISION IN MY ROOM
BECAUSE I CAN'
LEAVE MY BED.
- HMM. THE KID'S
GOT IT MADE.
- THANK YOU, GRANDMA.
- OBVIOUSLY, IF YOU WANT TO GE
PAMPERED AROUND HERE,
YOU HAVE TO BE AS SICK
AS A DOG
OR A CAT!
- IGGY, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE WELL ENOUGH
TO BE OUT OF BED TODAY?
- I FEEL MUCH BETTER,
AND MY FEVER IS GONE.
- THIS LOOKS LIKE
THE PERFECT TIME
TO GO INTO MY ACT.
[MOANING]
- HEATHCLIFF!
- [MOANING]
- HEATHCLIFF!
OH, MY, HE'S SICK!
- HE DOESN'T LOOK
SO SICK TO ME.
- HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
CAN'T YOU SEE
THE POOR CAT'S IN AGONY?
YOU POOR DEAR,
LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU.
HA HA HA!
- YOU GET SOME REST,
HEATHCLIFF.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
- SOMETIMES I'M SO SMAR
I EVEN AMAZE MYSELF.
HA HA! NOW TO FLIP ON
THE TV AND RELAX.
AH, THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED--
A VACATION.
- HEATHCLIFF, I'VE BROUGH
YOU SOME GOODIES.
- [MOANING]
- THERE, THERE.
- I HEAR OUR BOY
HEATHCLIFF
IS SICK
AND OUT OF COMMISSION.
I'D SAY NOW'S A GOOD TIME
TO PAY HIM A VISIT--
WHEN HE'S TOO WEAK
TO GIVE US ANY TROUBLE.
- WHILE HEATHCLIFF'S
SICK IN BED,
WE'LL FILL HIM
WITH DREAD.
- MAYBE THIS FOOD
WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
[COUGHS]
- THIS IS EVEN BETTER
THAN I HOPED.
- I'LL BE BACK TO LOOK IN
ON YOU A LITTLE LATER.
- AH, THIS IS THE LIFE.
- COME ON.
- YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL.
IF YOU DON'T LOCK
THE WINDOWS AROUND HERE,
THE WIND WILL BLOW
ANYTHING IN.
- OH, DOES THE MIGHTY
HEATHCLIFF HAVE A COLD?
WHAT A SHAME.
WELL, HERE'S
TO YOU, HEATHY.
- HEATHCLIFF
SURE IS A SIGH
AND MUCH TOO WEAK
TO PUT UP A FIGHT.
- WHEN WILL YOU THREE
EVER LEARN?
WHEN IT COMES
TO A CONTEST BETWEEN US,
THERE IS NO CONTEST!
- YEOW!
- DUH, THIS IS FUN!
- RUNNING
OUT OF STEAM, HUH?
HAPPY LANDINGS.
[CRASH]
PERFECT SHOT.
YOU GUYS SHOULD FEEL
RIGHT AT HOME. HA HA!
OH, AND THANKS
FOR COMING TO VISIT ME
IN MY HOUR OF NEED.
HA HA!
- AND I THOUGH
HE WAS SICK.
- I'D HATE TO SEE HIM
WHEN HE'S FEELING GOOD.
- THAT'S FUNNY.
I THOUGHT I HEARD
A COMMOTION COMING
FROM IN HERE.
- [MOANING]
- OH, YOU MUST HAVE
BEEN DELIRIOUS.
YOU POOR DEAR,
I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE TO REST.
- HEATHCLIFF SICK?
AND IT ISN'T EVEN
A HOLIDAY.
SO YOU'RE SICK, ARE YOU?
ON BEHALF OF THE OTHER
MICE AND MYSELF,
I'M PRESENTING YOU
WITH A LIST OF OUR DEMANDS.
FIRST, NO CHASING US
ON WEEKENDS.
SECOND, WE WAN
KITCHEN PRIVILEGES
EVENINGS AFTER 9:00.
- SO THESE ARE
YOUR DEMANDS, HUH?
- AAH!
WOULD YOU BELIEVE REQUESTS?
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
OFF THE HOOK THIS TIME,
LITTLE MOUSE.
NOW FOR
A LITTLE EXERCISE.
IT KEEPS
THE MUSCLES LOOSE.
ONE MOUSE,
CORNER POCKET.
[CRASH]
UH-OH. I'D BETTER GET READY
TO MOAN AND GROAN.
[MOANING]
- ANY CHANGE IN THE WAY
YOU'RE FEELING, DEAR?
- [MOANING]
- HE'S STILL
NOT BETTER, HUH?
WELL, I GUESS
WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE
THE BAG OF FLEAS
TO THE VET.
- I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE LOOKS EVEN WORSE
THAN HE DID
WHEN HE CAME
INTO THE ROOM.
- COME ON, HEATHCLIFF.
I'M SURE THE VE
WILL BE ABLE
TO MAKE YOU BETTER.
- [MEOWING]
- THAT'S SO VERY BRAVE,
HEATHCLIFF.
YOU'RE TRYING
TO DISGUISE
HOW SICK
YOU REALLY ARE
BY PRETENDING FOR US.
- I NEVER KNEW
HE HAD IT IN HIM.
- IGGY, YOU CALL THE VET.
I'LL GO WARM UP THE CAR.
- OK.
- HEY, HEY,
WHAT WENT WRONG?
ALL I WANTED WAS
A LITTLE PAMPERING,
AND NOW THE VET!
EVERY TIME I GO THERE,
I GET TREATED LIKE
A PINCUSHION WITH A TAIL.
- OH, CALM DOWN,
HEATHCLIFF.
[GRUNTING]
WHOA!
- [MEOWING]
- HEATHCLIFF, THIS IS
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
[GRUNTING]
- I WONDER
HOW THAT HAPPENED.
I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED.
- THE DOCTOR
WILL SEE YOU NOW.
- YEOW!
OOH!
- FIRST, I'M GOING TO
TEST YOUR REFLEXES.
UGH!
GOOD REFLEXES.
- HA HA! WAIT TILL
HE GETS A SAMPLE
OF WHAT I HAD
FOR LUNCH.
- BREATHE NORMALLY.
UGH! PHEW!
- I TOLD YOU TO LAY OFF
THE SARDINES.
- [GIGGLING]
- I SEE WHA
THE TROUBLE IS.
HEATHCLIFF HAS TICKLYOSIS,
BUT DON'T WORRY.
I HAVE SOMETHING
THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.
THIS SHOT SHOULD HAVE YOU
BACK TO NORMAL IN NO TIME.
- MEOW
[SNARLING]
I'M TRAPPED!
YEOW! YEOW!
- I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU DID IT, DOC,
BUT HEATHCLIFF SURE SEEMS
TO BE FULL OF PEP.
- YEAH, HE'S BACK
TO HIS OLD NORMAL SELF.
- THIS IS NORMAL?
- [GROWLING]
- [PANTING]
IS THIS YOUR IDEA
OF A ROMANTIC EVENING, RIFFRAFF?
- ACTUALLY, THIS IS
WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
- NOW, THAT'S MY IDEA
OF ROMANCE--
A BOAT RIDE
IN THE MOONLIGHT.
- HEY, YOU ASKED
FOR ROMANCE, YOU GOT ROMANCE.
- WELL, CLEO, WHA
DO YOU THINK OF IT?
- WHY, IT'S A BOA
FROM THE TUNNEL OF LOVE.
- AND THAT'S EXACTLY
WHERE WE'RE HEADED--
UH, SORT OF.
- YOUR MOVE, HECTOR.
- I'M THINKING.
- DON'T STRAIN YOURSELF.
HEY, MAN, GOING
FOR A FLOAT IN THE BOAT?
- YOU GOT IT.
CLEO AND I ARE GOING TO
MAKE THE SCENE IN THE SEWER.
TRY TO STAY OU
OF TROUBLE, HUH?
- AIN'T NO TROUBLE.
LIFE'S A BUBBLE.
- I'M THINKING!
- HECTOR? THINKING?!
BOY, WHAT'S
THE WORLD COMING TO?
ON A ROMANCE SCALE OF 10,
THIS IS ABOUT A 9.5.
- GET READY.
HERE COMES A PERFECT 10.
[VOICE CRACKING]
O SOLE MIO
O SOLE MIO
- YIKES!
I GO AWAY
FOR A COUPLE HOURS,
AND SOMEBODY
STEALS MY BOAT.
I WAS GOING TO SAIL
AROUND THE WORLD
IN THAT BOA
WHEN I RETIRE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE CATS
WANT WITH A BOAT,
BUT I'M GOING TO SCUTTLE
THEIR PLANS.
WONDERDOG AWAY!
[LEROY DESCENDING]
- UH-OH!
- UH-OH!
- WHAT DID YOU FLEABAGS
DO WITH MY BOA
WHILE I WAS OUT VISITING?
- UH, WHAT WOULD WE
WANT WITH A BOAT?
- NO LIE--WE LIKE I
HIGH AND DRY.
- BYE-BYE!
- YEOW!
THEN RIFFRAFF
MUST HAVE THE BOAT.
HE'D DO ANYTHING
FOR CLEO.
- WE'D BETTER GO TELL
RIFFRAFF WHAT'S GOING ON.
- SOME GIRLS GE
OCEAN VOYAGES.
I GET A GUIDED TOUR
OF THE SEWER.
- YEAH, THE SEWER WOULDN'T BE
NEARLY SO ROMANTIC
IF YOU WEREN'T HERE.
- HEY, RIFFRAFF! WAIT UP!
- WHAT COULD
THOSE GUYS WANT?
- HEY, MAN,
LEROY'S AFTER YOU
FOR STEALING HIS BOAT.
- I DIDN'T STEAL IT.
I BORROWED IT.
- I HEARD THAT!
THAT'S A LIKELY STORY!
THIS TIME
YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!
- FASTER! FASTER!
- ALL HANDS ON DECK!
- LOOKS LIKE PIRACY
ON THE HIGH SEWERS!
I GOT TO GO SAVE
MY MATES, CLEO.
- TAKE YOUR TIME.
I'LL JUST STAY HERE
AND GUARD THE BOAT.
- SURE. WHAT'S A ROMANTIC CRUISE
WITHOUT A BOAT?
- [SCREAMING]
HERE YOU GO, BOYS!
- OH, NO, YOU DON'T!
YOU GUYS THINKING
OF ROWING OUT OF HERE?
- HELP!
RIFFRAFF, THE CURREN
IS TAKING ME AWAY,
AND YOU HAVE
THE ONLY PADDLE!
- I'LL BE RIGHT OVER
WITH THE BOYS!
THIS MUST BE
LEROY'S WEIRD IDEA
OF A LIFE PRESERVER.
- YOU AIN'T GOING
NOWHERE, SHORTY.
GIVE ME THAT HORSE.
- YOU GOT IT,
CAPTAIN BLIGH.
- WHOA!
- WHEN LEROY JOINS THE JET SET,
HE DOESN'T KID AROUND.
HEY, I GOT TO GET BACK
TO CLEO.
AHOY, CLEO!
[ECHOING]
- YOU CAN YELL
FOR HER ALL DAY.
THE CURRENT'S SWEPT HER
CLEAN AWAY.
- AVAST THERE,
ME HEARTIES.
WE BE SEARCHING
FOR CLEO,
THE SWEETEST TREASURE
IN THE SEWERS.
- IF WE LOOK FOR HER,
WE COULD GE
LOST, TOO.
- NOT A CHANCE.
ALL WE GOT TO DO
IS FOLLOW THE ROPE BACK.
WE SAIL WITH THE TIDE.
- NOW RIFFRAFF HAS
TWO OF MY BOATS,
AND I WANT THEM BACK.
LUCKILY, I COME
TO THE SEWERS PREPARED.
AHA! YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
NEED AN EXTRA BOAT.
YEAH. I'LL JUST FOLLOW
THE SHORTCU
TO WHERE THE CURREN
IS TAKING THAT CLEO.
ONCE I CAPTURE CLEO,
TRADING HER TO RIFFRAFF
AND HIS BUNCH FOR MY BOATS
OUGHT TO BE EASY.
- OH, I WISH SOMETHING
WOULD HAPPEN.
THE SEWER AIN'T SO BAD,
BUT IT'S BORING.
[RUMBLING]
ON THE OTHER HAND,
MAYBE BORING ISN'
SO TERRIBLE!
BETTER THAN
A ROLLER COASTER!
I'LL BE ALL RIGH
IF THE WHIRLPOOL DOESN'
SUCK ME DOWN INSIDE!
- CLEO OUGHT TO BE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
OOPS!
AAH!
- IF I WAIT ANY LONGER,
IT WILL BE TOO LATE.
- HELP!
- JUST LIKE LEROY TO TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF A WOMAN.
LET GO, LEROY!
WE'RE OVER SOLID GROUND!
- [GULP]
[CRASH]
- THERE GO THE BOATS!
- GOT YOU AT LAST!
- WHAT'S WITH
THE HANDCUFFS, MAN?
I JUST SAVED
YOUR HIDE.
- THANKS A BUNCH, SWEETIE,
BUT I'M STILL GOING TO
TRADE YOU TO RIFFRAFF
FOR MY BOATS.
- YEAH, BUT WE'RE LOS
DOWN IN A SEWER,
AND RIFFRAFF'S
NOT HERE.
- NO PROBLEM.
WE'LL WALK BACK
AND FIND HIM.
I HAVE A MAP.
COME BACK HERE!
T-T-TRAPPED!
I--I GOT TO GET--
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
- I GOT TO MOVE ON.
THERE'S NOTHING
SADDER TO SEE
THAN A WATCHDOG
WITH A BROKEN MAINSPRING.
BESIDES, I CAN'T GE
ANY MORE LOS
THAN I AM ALREADY.
- LOOK--CLEO'S FOOTPRINTS.
- I WONDER WHERE LEROY IS.
- WHO KNOWS?
IT'S A BIG SEWER.
- NOBODY AROUND.
I'LL JUST SNEAK ABOARD
AND BE READY FOR THEM
WHEN THEY COME BACK.
- CLEO!
- HI, THERE,
MR. ROMANCE-OF-THE-SEWERS.
- HI, CLEO.
WHERE'S LEROY?
- I LEFT HIM BACK
AT THE WHIRLPOOL.
DIDN'T YOU SEE HIM?
- WE LEFT OUR SHIP
BACK THERE, TOO.
COME ON, GUYS!
LEROY!
- HA HA HA!
THIS CAGE WILL KEEP THEM
OUT OF MY WAY.
- OK, MEN, SPREAD OUT!
YOU BETTER START TO THINK
OF THIS PLACE AS HOME.
OOH!
HELP! I CAN'T SWIM!
- COME ON, BOYS AND GIRLS.
GOT TO DO OUR GOOD DEED
FOR THE DAY.
- HELP!
[GASPING]
- OK, NOW, EVERYBODY
HOLD HANDS.
- OOH!
- WHOA!
- OW!
- OK, MUNGO,
PULL US IN.
- WE'RE FOLLOWING
THE ROPE
BECAUSE RIFFRAFF
AIN'T NO DOPE.
- TRUST ME. THERE'S
NOTHING AS ROMANTIC
AS A TRIP
DOWN A SEWER.
- HAMSTERS NEED EXERCISE
JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU EXERCISED, CHUBBY?
- PIPE DOWN, SMALL FRY!
AS I WAS SAYING, EXERCISE
IS VERY IMPORTAN
TO YOUR HAMSTER'S HEALTH,
BOTH INSIDE HIS CAGE
AND IN AN ENCLOSED AREA
OUTSIDE THE CAGE.
WAY TO GO, LITTLE GUY!
WHOA, OHH, OOH!
[CRASH]
- BOY, IS HE OUT OF SHAPE.
- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU