Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e42 Episode Script
Trombone Terror/The Other Woman
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
[HEATHCLIFF HUMMING]
AH, WHAT A GREAT DAY.
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
HUH?
WHAT THE
WHOA!
Grandpa: JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
Grandma:
ISN'T IT LOVELY?
Grandma:
IT SENDS CHILLS
UP MY SPINE.
YEAH, MINE, TOO.
YIKES!
[MUTTERING]
THAT DOES IT.
[MUTED]
HEE HEE HEE!
HUH?
OH, NO.
GOOD-BYE, CRUEL WORLD.
I'M SUFFERING,
AND THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY.
EUREKA!
[MUTED]
HUH?
YIKES!
OH, NO.
[KA-BOOM]
WHEW. ALL THIS DANCING
HAS ME TUCKERED OUT.
I'M GOING TO SI
THIS ONE OUT.
[YAWNS]
AHH. PEACE AND QUIET--
AND A LITTLE SNACK, TOO.
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
NOT AGAIN!
JUST THE PLACE FOR ME.
[YAWNS]
WHAT THE--
JUST IN TIME
FOR THE FIGHTS.
WHA
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
OH, NO.
AHA!
HEE HEE HEE!
[YAWNS]
LET'S SEE ANYONE
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HEY!
OH, NO!
YIIIIII!
YIIIIII!
[GASPING]
[CRASH]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
OHHH. DID ANYONE CATCH
THE LICENSE NUMBER
OF THAT LITTLE
STRIPED TRUCK?
A CAVE.
[DEEP VOICE]
HUH? WHAT THE
AAH!
[GROWLS]
[ROARS]
WHOAAAAH!
AHH. PEACE AND QUIE
AT LAST.
OH. I'M GETTING HOT.
THAT'S BETTER.
IGGY, DEAR.
STOP PRACTICING NOW.
IT'S TIME FOR LUNCH.
COMING, GRANDMA!
YIKES!
[CRASH]
[CRASH]
THAT DOES IT!
NO MORE MR. NICE CAT!
THAT TROMBONE
HAS GOT TO GO!
YOU'RE JUST GETTING
SO GOOD.
ISN'T HE, GRANDPA?
I JUST CAN'T SIT STILL
WHEN I HEAR YOU PLAY.
IT'S JUST LIKE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS
WITH THE BIG BAND.
AS SOON AS
I'M DONE EATING,
I'M GOING TO GO PUT IN
ANOTHER TWO HOURS OF PRACTICE.
NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.
WELL, THAT'S THAT!
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
NO, IT CAN'T BE.
GIMME THAT!
THIS IS GOING TO BE
HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
Cat: SOME CATS
JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO LISTEN
TO FINE MUSIC.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SCREECH]
"LOVER'S LEAP."
OH, THAT'S PERFECT.
SO LONG. CAN'T SAY
IT'S BEEN NICE KNOWING YOU.
Voice:
IT'S A NICE DAY.
HUH?
I'M SITTING ON A LIMB,
SOAKING UP THE SUN,
AND I SAYS TO MYSELF,
"NOTHING COULD RUIN
A BEAUTIFUL DAY
LIKE TODAY."
HOW ABOUT IT IF I SAY,
"I'M SORRY"?
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
IT'S A GOOD THING
IGGY DOESN'T PLAY THE PIANO.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
A TRAVELING CARNIVAL?
THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA.
NO ONE WILL NOTICE A TROMBONE
WITH ALL THOSE OTHER PRIZES.
OOPS! WHOA! OOF!
Man: AND WE HAVE
A WINNER!
ISN'T THERE ANYPLACE
I CAN GET RID OF THIS THING?
THE POST OFFICE!
WHY DIDN'
I THINK OF THAT BEFORE?
TRY FINDING YOUR WAY BACK
FROM OUTER MONGOLIA.
[CLATTER]
OH, NO.
I FORGOT THE STAMPS.
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!
I TRY AND TRY,
BUT YOU JUST KEEP COMING BACK!
TAKE THAT,
YOU--YOU TROMBONE!
HEATHCLIFF?
HEATHCLIFF,
HAVE YOU SEEN
MY TROMBONE?
I WONDER
WHAT HAPPENED TO IT.
OH, WELL.
GRANDPA SAYS IF
WE CAN'T FIND IT,
HE'LL BUY ME
A TUBA.
GRANDPA SAYS
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
ASLEEP IN THE DEEP
PLAYED ON A GOOD,
LOUD TUBA.
[TUBA PLAYS]
I'M SO EXCITED.
I HAVEN'T SEEN
MY COUSIN LINDSEY
SINCE WE
WERE BOTH KITTENS.
HEY, RELAX.
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT A THING.
THE BOYS AND I
WILL TREAT HER LIKE
ONE OF THE GANG.
YOU BETTER NOT.
MY COUSIN'S
A SHY, SWEET GIRL FROM
A SMALL, MOUNTAIN TOWN.
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
AND THE FIRST ONE
OF YOU BUMS
THAT STEPS OUT OF LINE
ANSWERS TO ME. GOT IT?
Riff Raff: HEY,
HERE COMES THE BUS.
[TIRES SCREECH]
HUBBA HUBBA!
Cat: YOO-HOO!
COUSIN CLEO!
YOUR LITTLE OL' COUSIN
LINDSEY'S HERE.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
JUST GREAT.
I WANT YOU
TO MEET MY FRIENDS.
THIS IS RIFF RAFF,
HECTOR, WORDSWORTH,
AND MONGO.
PLEASED TO
MEET YOU ALL.
ESPECIALLY YOU,
YOU CUTE LITTLE DICKENS.
IT'S NICE
TO MEET YOU, TOO.
[CHUCKLING]
Lindsey: AND THEN
THE NEXT YEAR I MADE UP MY MIND
THAT THAT SPRING
I'D VISIT MY COUSIN CLEO,
AND HERE I IS.
NOW, WHICH ONE
OF THESE BOYS
IS GONNA SHOW
LITTLE OL' ME AROUND?
AW, WELL, I GUESS THA
LEAVES YOU, RIFFY.
YOU'RE MY FIRST CHOICE,
ANYHOW.
HA! MINE, TOO.
THAT'S THE BIGGES
BLAME THING I EVER
DID SEE.
BOY, YOU'RE NO
KIDDING.
WELL,
WHERE DO WE GO NEXT?
WELL, I THOUGH
WE MIGHT--
DANCING! THAT'S
A PEACH OF AN IDEA!
COME ON!
LET'S FIND US
SOME MUSIC.
NO!
YOU SURE CAN DANCE
FOR A CITY FELLA.
OH, NOOOOOOO!
[CRASH]
WHEN I GET MY HANDS
ON THOSE GUYS
Riff Raff: THIS ISN'
THE SAFEST PLACE IN TOWN.
I ALWAYS FEEL SAFE
WHEN I'M WITH YOU.
IT'S SO ROMANTIC
DOWN HERE.
GREAT.
BUT NOW YOU'VE SEEN IT.
LET'S GET GOING.
Tough cat: WHAT'S
YOUR HURRY, PAL?
WELL, ISN'T THIS CUTE?
LOOK, RIFFY,
WE GOT COMPANY.
RIFFY.
NOW AIN'T THAT CUTE?
[LAUGHTER]
THEY SEEM LIKE FUN.
ARE THEY FRIENDS
OF YOUR'N, TOO?
NOT EXACTLY.
LET'S GET OU
OF HERE.
Tough cat: YOU'RE
NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
YOU HEAR
WHAT I SAID, PAL?
I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN'
COME TO THIS.
NOW I KNOW YOU'RE
JUST PLAYING,
BUT YOU GOTTA BE
MORE CAREFUL.
YOU ALMOS
PUSHED MY RIFFY
IN THE WATER.
GET HER, BOYS!
YEEOOOOW!
[THUMP]
THIS IS MORE FUN THAN I HAVE
IN A MONTH BACK HOME.
YEE-HOO!
HOOO-EEE!
NOW, YOU BOYS ALL SAY
BYE-BYE TO RIFFY.
OHHH
[SNORING]
YEEOOOOW!
YOU'RE MY BABY,
YES, IT'S TRUE ♪
NO OTHER CAT COULD TAKE
THE PLACE OF YOU ♪
OH, YEAH, YEAH, IT'S TRUE
OH, YEAH, I LOVE YOU, RIFFY
YOU KNOW I DO
ROSES ARE RED
AND VIOLETS ARE BLUE ♪
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, IT'S TRUE ♪
OH, YEAH
I WONDER WHA
THAT NOISE IS.
I'M NOT REALLY SURE,
BUT I HOPE THERE'S A CURE.
HEY. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I TURNED AROUND
FOR ONE MINUTE,
AND COUSIN LINDSEY
WAS GONE.
I'LL BET THAT CREEP
RIFF RAFF CAME
AND TOOK HER AWAY.
NOW LOOK, YOU'VE GO
TO GET OUT OF HERE.
NO!
NO!
I CAN EXPLAIN THIS.
GOOD. THEN MAYBE YOU CAN
EXPLAIN THIS,TOO!
[WHAM]
Hector: I'M REALLY
SURPRISED AT YOU, BOSS.
CLEO'S SO COOL,
AND YOU TOOK HER
FOR A FOOL.
CHEATING ON CLEO,
THAT'S AWFUL.
OOH!
AAH!
OOH!
NOWWHAT DO YOU
GOT TO SAY?
I KNEW THE BOSS
WOULDN'T CHEA
ON CLEO.
HE
WAS FRAMED.
I NEVER BELIEVED I
FOR A MINUTE.
THAT'S BETTER.
NOW, I GOT A PLAN,
AND YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELP.
GATHER ROUND.
[MUTTERING]
WHY--
WHAT ON EARTH
ARE ALL THESE
GIFTS FOR?
UH, JUST A LITTLE
TOKEN FROM US TO YOU.
THAT'S SO KIND
OF YOU.
[SLURPS]
WE CAME TO TAKE YOU
OUT ON THE TOWN.
THERE'S PLENTY TO DO.
WE'LL SHOW IT TO YOU.
[MUMBLES]
WHAT ABOUT RIFF RAFF?
Hector: UH, HE HAD
TO TAKE CARE OF
SOME BUSINESS.
IT WAS HIS IDEA FOR US
TO TAKE YOU OUT.
HE DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO BE LONELY.
THAT SWEET, DARLING THING.
BOYS, I'M ALL YOUR'N.
HEE HEE HEE!
Riff Raff: YAHOO!
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
WHY, YOU MUST BE COUSIN CLEO.
WHY, YOU'RE PRETTIER
THAN A SPECKLED LIZARD
AFTER A SPRING RAIN.
AND WHO ARE YOU?
MY NAME'S EARL,
SUGARPLUM.
I BE COUSIN LINDSEY'S
ONE AND ONLY.
NOW, WHERE IS
THE LITTLE HEIFER?
I'M SORRY.
SHE STEPPED OU
FOR A WHILE.
AIN'T THAT A SHAME?
'CAUSE I GOT A POWERFUL
STRONG HANKERING
TO SEE THIS CITY
OF YOURS.
HEY! MAYBE YOU
COULD SHOW ME AROUND.
GEE, I'D LOVE TO,
BUT, UH--
I KNOW YOU AND ME
IS GONNA HAVE
A HUMDINGER
OF A TIME.
HEY, LOOK AT THAT CLOWN
CLEO'S WITH.
[LAUGHTER]
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS]
YEOW!
WHOA!
OH, NO.
OH, NOOOOOOO!
Lindsey: WHY IN THE WORLD
DID WE WE COME TO
THE BUS STATION TO HAVE FUN?
Hector: HEY,
I GUARANTEE
IN A FEW MINUTES,
THIS WILL BE
THE HOTTEST PLACE
IN TOWN.
I APPRECIATE YOUR SEEING
ME OFF TONIGHT, HONEY.
I GOT TO GET BACK HOME.
BELIEVE ME,
IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
Y'ALL WILL HAVE TO
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE.
I GOT A POWERFUL
SWEET TOOTH.
I'M GONNA GET ME
SOME CANDY.
AHA! I'VE FINALLY
CAUGHT UP WITH YOU.
CAUGHT UP WITH ME?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I'VE BEEN
FOLLOWING YOU
AND THAT BACKWOODS
ROMEO ALL NIGHT.
BUT--YOU DON'
UNDERSTAND--
NO.
BUT THAT SAWED-OFF
HILLBILLY'S GOING
TO UNDERSTAND.
I'M GOING TO TEACH
THAT CREEP A LESSON
HE'LL NEVER FORGET.
WAIT!
PUT UP YOUR DUKES,
YOU HAY-BALER!
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
YOU WANT A RUCKUS?
YOU GOT IT, PAL.
OW! OOH! OW! OOCH!
OOPS, Y'ALL!
WHAT IN THE WORLD'S
GOING ON BACK THERE?
MAYBE WE BETTER
CHECK.
OOH! OW! EEE! OOF!
NOW I GOT YOU!
I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE HERE.
RIFF RAFF
IS FIGHTING WITH
YOUR BOYFRIEND EARL.
WHO?
Riff Raff:
TAKE THAT!
I'M SORRY YOU
HAD TO HEAR THAT,
LINDSEY,
BUT YOUR BOYFRIEND
WAS ASKING FOR IT.
AND I GAVE IT TO HIM.
BUT I DON'T HAVE
NO BOYFRIEND.
HEY, ANY GUY
THAT WOULD
FOLLOW YOU HERE
ALL THE WAY
FROM HOME
MUST LIKE YOU
AN AWFUL LOT.
[BUS HORN HONKS]
WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND
ON HIS WAY HOME.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHO HE IS,
BUT IF HE'S GOING
HOME,
THAT'S WHERE
I OUGHT TO BE, TOO.
BYE-BYE, EVERYBODY!
[KISS]
YOU WERE WONDERFUL.
I DID IT ALL
FOR YOU, BABY.
AND I PROMISE
I'LL NEVER
MISTRUST YOU AGAIN.
I'M GOING TO
MAKE IT UP TO YOU
STARTING RIGHT NOW.
IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN GET MY HERO?
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
WHY, I WOULDN'T MIND
SOME NICE COOL LEMONADE,
SUGARPLUM.
WHY, YOU--!
NO!
WAIT!
OHH.
GIRLS.
LET PROF. HEATHCLIFF SHOW YOU
THE CORRECT WAY
TO BATHE A DIRTY CAT.
FIRST, PLACE A RUBBER MAT DOWN
SO YOUR CAT WON'T SLIP.
THEN FILL IT WITH WARM WATER.
HOLD YOUR CAT GENTLY,
BUT FIRMLY, AND START TO WASH
HIM. FINALLY,
RINSE OFF THE CAT USING A LARGE
SPONGE, OR IF POSSIBLE,
A SPRAY BOTTLE. DRY YOUR CAT OFF
WITH A TOWEL,
AND VOILA! A PROF. HEATHCLIFF
CAT BATH!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL AND U.S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE
OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED
WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
[HEATHCLIFF HUMMING]
AH, WHAT A GREAT DAY.
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
HUH?
WHAT THE
WHOA!
Grandpa: JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
Grandma:
ISN'T IT LOVELY?
Grandma:
IT SENDS CHILLS
UP MY SPINE.
YEAH, MINE, TOO.
YIKES!
[MUTTERING]
THAT DOES IT.
[MUTED]
HEE HEE HEE!
HUH?
OH, NO.
GOOD-BYE, CRUEL WORLD.
I'M SUFFERING,
AND THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY.
EUREKA!
[MUTED]
HUH?
YIKES!
OH, NO.
[KA-BOOM]
WHEW. ALL THIS DANCING
HAS ME TUCKERED OUT.
I'M GOING TO SI
THIS ONE OUT.
[YAWNS]
AHH. PEACE AND QUIET--
AND A LITTLE SNACK, TOO.
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
NOT AGAIN!
JUST THE PLACE FOR ME.
[YAWNS]
WHAT THE--
JUST IN TIME
FOR THE FIGHTS.
WHA
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
OH, NO.
AHA!
HEE HEE HEE!
[YAWNS]
LET'S SEE ANYONE
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HEY!
OH, NO!
YIIIIII!
YIIIIII!
[GASPING]
[CRASH]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
OHHH. DID ANYONE CATCH
THE LICENSE NUMBER
OF THAT LITTLE
STRIPED TRUCK?
A CAVE.
[DEEP VOICE]
HUH? WHAT THE
AAH!
[GROWLS]
[ROARS]
WHOAAAAH!
AHH. PEACE AND QUIE
AT LAST.
OH. I'M GETTING HOT.
THAT'S BETTER.
IGGY, DEAR.
STOP PRACTICING NOW.
IT'S TIME FOR LUNCH.
COMING, GRANDMA!
YIKES!
[CRASH]
[CRASH]
THAT DOES IT!
NO MORE MR. NICE CAT!
THAT TROMBONE
HAS GOT TO GO!
YOU'RE JUST GETTING
SO GOOD.
ISN'T HE, GRANDPA?
I JUST CAN'T SIT STILL
WHEN I HEAR YOU PLAY.
IT'S JUST LIKE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS
WITH THE BIG BAND.
AS SOON AS
I'M DONE EATING,
I'M GOING TO GO PUT IN
ANOTHER TWO HOURS OF PRACTICE.
NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.
WELL, THAT'S THAT!
[TROMBONE PLAYS]
NO, IT CAN'T BE.
GIMME THAT!
THIS IS GOING TO BE
HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
Cat: SOME CATS
JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO LISTEN
TO FINE MUSIC.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SCREECH]
"LOVER'S LEAP."
OH, THAT'S PERFECT.
SO LONG. CAN'T SAY
IT'S BEEN NICE KNOWING YOU.
Voice:
IT'S A NICE DAY.
HUH?
I'M SITTING ON A LIMB,
SOAKING UP THE SUN,
AND I SAYS TO MYSELF,
"NOTHING COULD RUIN
A BEAUTIFUL DAY
LIKE TODAY."
HOW ABOUT IT IF I SAY,
"I'M SORRY"?
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
IT'S A GOOD THING
IGGY DOESN'T PLAY THE PIANO.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
A TRAVELING CARNIVAL?
THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA.
NO ONE WILL NOTICE A TROMBONE
WITH ALL THOSE OTHER PRIZES.
OOPS! WHOA! OOF!
Man: AND WE HAVE
A WINNER!
ISN'T THERE ANYPLACE
I CAN GET RID OF THIS THING?
THE POST OFFICE!
WHY DIDN'
I THINK OF THAT BEFORE?
TRY FINDING YOUR WAY BACK
FROM OUTER MONGOLIA.
[CLATTER]
OH, NO.
I FORGOT THE STAMPS.
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!
I TRY AND TRY,
BUT YOU JUST KEEP COMING BACK!
TAKE THAT,
YOU--YOU TROMBONE!
HEATHCLIFF?
HEATHCLIFF,
HAVE YOU SEEN
MY TROMBONE?
I WONDER
WHAT HAPPENED TO IT.
OH, WELL.
GRANDPA SAYS IF
WE CAN'T FIND IT,
HE'LL BUY ME
A TUBA.
GRANDPA SAYS
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
ASLEEP IN THE DEEP
PLAYED ON A GOOD,
LOUD TUBA.
[TUBA PLAYS]
I'M SO EXCITED.
I HAVEN'T SEEN
MY COUSIN LINDSEY
SINCE WE
WERE BOTH KITTENS.
HEY, RELAX.
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT A THING.
THE BOYS AND I
WILL TREAT HER LIKE
ONE OF THE GANG.
YOU BETTER NOT.
MY COUSIN'S
A SHY, SWEET GIRL FROM
A SMALL, MOUNTAIN TOWN.
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
AND THE FIRST ONE
OF YOU BUMS
THAT STEPS OUT OF LINE
ANSWERS TO ME. GOT IT?
Riff Raff: HEY,
HERE COMES THE BUS.
[TIRES SCREECH]
HUBBA HUBBA!
Cat: YOO-HOO!
COUSIN CLEO!
YOUR LITTLE OL' COUSIN
LINDSEY'S HERE.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
JUST GREAT.
I WANT YOU
TO MEET MY FRIENDS.
THIS IS RIFF RAFF,
HECTOR, WORDSWORTH,
AND MONGO.
PLEASED TO
MEET YOU ALL.
ESPECIALLY YOU,
YOU CUTE LITTLE DICKENS.
IT'S NICE
TO MEET YOU, TOO.
[CHUCKLING]
Lindsey: AND THEN
THE NEXT YEAR I MADE UP MY MIND
THAT THAT SPRING
I'D VISIT MY COUSIN CLEO,
AND HERE I IS.
NOW, WHICH ONE
OF THESE BOYS
IS GONNA SHOW
LITTLE OL' ME AROUND?
AW, WELL, I GUESS THA
LEAVES YOU, RIFFY.
YOU'RE MY FIRST CHOICE,
ANYHOW.
HA! MINE, TOO.
THAT'S THE BIGGES
BLAME THING I EVER
DID SEE.
BOY, YOU'RE NO
KIDDING.
WELL,
WHERE DO WE GO NEXT?
WELL, I THOUGH
WE MIGHT--
DANCING! THAT'S
A PEACH OF AN IDEA!
COME ON!
LET'S FIND US
SOME MUSIC.
NO!
YOU SURE CAN DANCE
FOR A CITY FELLA.
OH, NOOOOOOO!
[CRASH]
WHEN I GET MY HANDS
ON THOSE GUYS
Riff Raff: THIS ISN'
THE SAFEST PLACE IN TOWN.
I ALWAYS FEEL SAFE
WHEN I'M WITH YOU.
IT'S SO ROMANTIC
DOWN HERE.
GREAT.
BUT NOW YOU'VE SEEN IT.
LET'S GET GOING.
Tough cat: WHAT'S
YOUR HURRY, PAL?
WELL, ISN'T THIS CUTE?
LOOK, RIFFY,
WE GOT COMPANY.
RIFFY.
NOW AIN'T THAT CUTE?
[LAUGHTER]
THEY SEEM LIKE FUN.
ARE THEY FRIENDS
OF YOUR'N, TOO?
NOT EXACTLY.
LET'S GET OU
OF HERE.
Tough cat: YOU'RE
NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
YOU HEAR
WHAT I SAID, PAL?
I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN'
COME TO THIS.
NOW I KNOW YOU'RE
JUST PLAYING,
BUT YOU GOTTA BE
MORE CAREFUL.
YOU ALMOS
PUSHED MY RIFFY
IN THE WATER.
GET HER, BOYS!
YEEOOOOW!
[THUMP]
THIS IS MORE FUN THAN I HAVE
IN A MONTH BACK HOME.
YEE-HOO!
HOOO-EEE!
NOW, YOU BOYS ALL SAY
BYE-BYE TO RIFFY.
OHHH
[SNORING]
YEEOOOOW!
YOU'RE MY BABY,
YES, IT'S TRUE ♪
NO OTHER CAT COULD TAKE
THE PLACE OF YOU ♪
OH, YEAH, YEAH, IT'S TRUE
OH, YEAH, I LOVE YOU, RIFFY
YOU KNOW I DO
ROSES ARE RED
AND VIOLETS ARE BLUE ♪
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, IT'S TRUE ♪
OH, YEAH
I WONDER WHA
THAT NOISE IS.
I'M NOT REALLY SURE,
BUT I HOPE THERE'S A CURE.
HEY. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I TURNED AROUND
FOR ONE MINUTE,
AND COUSIN LINDSEY
WAS GONE.
I'LL BET THAT CREEP
RIFF RAFF CAME
AND TOOK HER AWAY.
NOW LOOK, YOU'VE GO
TO GET OUT OF HERE.
NO!
NO!
I CAN EXPLAIN THIS.
GOOD. THEN MAYBE YOU CAN
EXPLAIN THIS,TOO!
[WHAM]
Hector: I'M REALLY
SURPRISED AT YOU, BOSS.
CLEO'S SO COOL,
AND YOU TOOK HER
FOR A FOOL.
CHEATING ON CLEO,
THAT'S AWFUL.
OOH!
AAH!
OOH!
NOWWHAT DO YOU
GOT TO SAY?
I KNEW THE BOSS
WOULDN'T CHEA
ON CLEO.
HE
WAS FRAMED.
I NEVER BELIEVED I
FOR A MINUTE.
THAT'S BETTER.
NOW, I GOT A PLAN,
AND YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELP.
GATHER ROUND.
[MUTTERING]
WHY--
WHAT ON EARTH
ARE ALL THESE
GIFTS FOR?
UH, JUST A LITTLE
TOKEN FROM US TO YOU.
THAT'S SO KIND
OF YOU.
[SLURPS]
WE CAME TO TAKE YOU
OUT ON THE TOWN.
THERE'S PLENTY TO DO.
WE'LL SHOW IT TO YOU.
[MUMBLES]
WHAT ABOUT RIFF RAFF?
Hector: UH, HE HAD
TO TAKE CARE OF
SOME BUSINESS.
IT WAS HIS IDEA FOR US
TO TAKE YOU OUT.
HE DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO BE LONELY.
THAT SWEET, DARLING THING.
BOYS, I'M ALL YOUR'N.
HEE HEE HEE!
Riff Raff: YAHOO!
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
WHY, YOU MUST BE COUSIN CLEO.
WHY, YOU'RE PRETTIER
THAN A SPECKLED LIZARD
AFTER A SPRING RAIN.
AND WHO ARE YOU?
MY NAME'S EARL,
SUGARPLUM.
I BE COUSIN LINDSEY'S
ONE AND ONLY.
NOW, WHERE IS
THE LITTLE HEIFER?
I'M SORRY.
SHE STEPPED OU
FOR A WHILE.
AIN'T THAT A SHAME?
'CAUSE I GOT A POWERFUL
STRONG HANKERING
TO SEE THIS CITY
OF YOURS.
HEY! MAYBE YOU
COULD SHOW ME AROUND.
GEE, I'D LOVE TO,
BUT, UH--
I KNOW YOU AND ME
IS GONNA HAVE
A HUMDINGER
OF A TIME.
HEY, LOOK AT THAT CLOWN
CLEO'S WITH.
[LAUGHTER]
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS]
YEOW!
WHOA!
OH, NO.
OH, NOOOOOOO!
Lindsey: WHY IN THE WORLD
DID WE WE COME TO
THE BUS STATION TO HAVE FUN?
Hector: HEY,
I GUARANTEE
IN A FEW MINUTES,
THIS WILL BE
THE HOTTEST PLACE
IN TOWN.
I APPRECIATE YOUR SEEING
ME OFF TONIGHT, HONEY.
I GOT TO GET BACK HOME.
BELIEVE ME,
IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
Y'ALL WILL HAVE TO
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE.
I GOT A POWERFUL
SWEET TOOTH.
I'M GONNA GET ME
SOME CANDY.
AHA! I'VE FINALLY
CAUGHT UP WITH YOU.
CAUGHT UP WITH ME?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I'VE BEEN
FOLLOWING YOU
AND THAT BACKWOODS
ROMEO ALL NIGHT.
BUT--YOU DON'
UNDERSTAND--
NO.
BUT THAT SAWED-OFF
HILLBILLY'S GOING
TO UNDERSTAND.
I'M GOING TO TEACH
THAT CREEP A LESSON
HE'LL NEVER FORGET.
WAIT!
PUT UP YOUR DUKES,
YOU HAY-BALER!
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
YOU WANT A RUCKUS?
YOU GOT IT, PAL.
OW! OOH! OW! OOCH!
OOPS, Y'ALL!
WHAT IN THE WORLD'S
GOING ON BACK THERE?
MAYBE WE BETTER
CHECK.
OOH! OW! EEE! OOF!
NOW I GOT YOU!
I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE HERE.
RIFF RAFF
IS FIGHTING WITH
YOUR BOYFRIEND EARL.
WHO?
Riff Raff:
TAKE THAT!
I'M SORRY YOU
HAD TO HEAR THAT,
LINDSEY,
BUT YOUR BOYFRIEND
WAS ASKING FOR IT.
AND I GAVE IT TO HIM.
BUT I DON'T HAVE
NO BOYFRIEND.
HEY, ANY GUY
THAT WOULD
FOLLOW YOU HERE
ALL THE WAY
FROM HOME
MUST LIKE YOU
AN AWFUL LOT.
[BUS HORN HONKS]
WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND
ON HIS WAY HOME.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHO HE IS,
BUT IF HE'S GOING
HOME,
THAT'S WHERE
I OUGHT TO BE, TOO.
BYE-BYE, EVERYBODY!
[KISS]
YOU WERE WONDERFUL.
I DID IT ALL
FOR YOU, BABY.
AND I PROMISE
I'LL NEVER
MISTRUST YOU AGAIN.
I'M GOING TO
MAKE IT UP TO YOU
STARTING RIGHT NOW.
IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN GET MY HERO?
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
WHY, I WOULDN'T MIND
SOME NICE COOL LEMONADE,
SUGARPLUM.
WHY, YOU--!
NO!
WAIT!
OHH.
GIRLS.
LET PROF. HEATHCLIFF SHOW YOU
THE CORRECT WAY
TO BATHE A DIRTY CAT.
FIRST, PLACE A RUBBER MAT DOWN
SO YOUR CAT WON'T SLIP.
THEN FILL IT WITH WARM WATER.
HOLD YOUR CAT GENTLY,
BUT FIRMLY, AND START TO WASH
HIM. FINALLY,
RINSE OFF THE CAT USING A LARGE
SPONGE, OR IF POSSIBLE,
A SPRAY BOTTLE. DRY YOUR CAT OFF
WITH A TOWEL,
AND VOILA! A PROF. HEATHCLIFF
CAT BATH!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL AND U.S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE
OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED
WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE