Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e54 Episode Script

HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
IT'S THE 777!
TOWER TO IGGY.
TOWER TO IGGY.
LET'S SEE HOW HIGH
SHE'LL FLY!
ROGER, SIR. I'LL TAKE THIS BABY
UP TO THE WILD BLUE YONDER.
HANG ON TO YOUR HAT!
IGGY OVER AND OUT.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME,
OR WHAT?
UH-OH!
SOMETHING'S WRONG!
WHAT'S WRONG, IGGY?
UH, I DON'T KNOW, SIR.
IT'S--IT'S SPUTTERING!
WE'RE GOING DOWN.
WE'RE GOING DOWN!
MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
AND SOME PEOPLE
THINK CATSARE STUPID.
Iggy: AAH! CRASH!
BASH! BOOM!
[IMITATING
SPUTTERING ENGINE]
Man: WHAT'S
ALL THE RACKET?
OH, I WAS JUST TESTING
MY 777, GRANDPA.
YOUR GRANDMA AND I
THOUGHT A REAL JET WAS
LANDING ON OUR HOUSE.
OH, I'M SORRY,
GRANDPA.
I WAS
JUST PRETENDING.
I'M GONNA BE
A TEST PILO
WHEN I GROW UP.
I WASA TEST PILOT!
YOU WERE?
GRANDPA, YOU NEVER
TOLD ME YOU WERE
A JET PILOT!
THAT'S BECAUSE
HE JUST MADE IT UP!
I SAW IN THE PAPER
THAT THE AIRSHOW'S
IN TOWN. WANT TO GO?
AN AIRSHOW?
WITH REAL AIRPLANES?
YEAH--EVERY KIND OF PLANE
YOU CAN IMAGINE.
YA-HOO!
Grandpa:
AND THEN I CRASHED,
BUT LUCKILY FOR ME,
THERE WAS A BIG,
HUGE MUD PUDDLE,
AND I GOT UP
AND WALKED AWAY
WITHOUT A SCRATCH.
THEY DIDN'
BELIEVE IT!
AND I DON'T EITHER.
NO, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE THE FEELING
OF FLYING.
IN THE OLD DAYS,
YOU COULD
FEEL THE WIND
RIGHT IN YOUR FACE,
AND IT WAS
THE GREATEST FEELING
IN THE WORLD.
AND THE WIND
IN YOUR FACE
MAKES YOU FEEL
SO GOOD
THAT YOU FLY
HIGHER AND HIGHER
AND HIGHER
AND HIGHER,
UNTIL YOU FINALLY
JUST TAKE OFF!
WHOA!
HEATHCLIFF!
GET BACK IN HERE!
PHEW! THAT WAS CLOSE.
THAT REMINDS ME
OF THE TIME
I ALMOST FLEW RIGH
OUT OF THE PLANE!
LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT IT.
YEESH!
EH, MAYBE THIS WON'
BE SO BAD AFTER ALL.
NOW, HANG ON TO
YOUR TICKET STUBS,
BECAUSE WE'RE
HAVING A DRAWING,
AND THE WINNER GETS
A FREE RIDE IN THE 777.
WOW!
A FREE RIDE IN A 777!
GRANDPA, HANG ON TO
THOSE TICKET STUBS.
I'M GOING TO WIN
THAT FREE RIDE!
THAT LOOKS LIKE A FUN RIDE.
YES, SIR, WE MIGHT JUS
HAVE TO WIN THAT RIDE.
[GRR]
[HISS]
EASY, MAX.
EASY, BOY!
THERE, THERE, BABY.
HE WON'T HURT YOU.
[HISSES AND SPITS]
UH, SORRY.
NOW, THESE ARE
CALLED BIPLANES
BECAUSE THEY
HAVE TWO WINGS.
I USED TO FLY
THESE PLANES.
IS THERE ANYTHING
THAT HE DIDN'T DO?
I KNOW HOW EVERYTHING
WORKS ON THIS PLANE.
WOW!
YOU DO, GRANDPA?
YUP. HERE,
I'LL SHOW YOU.
[HEATHCLIFF IMITATING
PROPELLER]
[BONK]
OUCH!
THAT WING DINGED ME!
HEY, CAT!
GET DOWN OFF THERE!
GET LOST, GENERAL!
[GRR]
NYAH NYAH-NYAH
NYAH NYAH NYAH!
[GRR]
WHOOPS!
[SNARLING]
THIS MOVES THE WING
WHEN YOU DO THIS.
[BONK]
GEE, ANOTHER WING DING!
STEP RIGHT UP,
LADIES AND GENTS,
AND SEE
THE TWIRLING BULLDOG.
HE WALKS, HE TALKS,
HE FLIES THROUGH THE AIR!
IT LOOKS LIKE
SOMEONE'S ON THAT PROP!
I THINK THIS SWITCH
WILL STOP HIM.
[BARKING]
[HOWLS]
Grandpa: I USE TO FLY
THESE HOT-AIR BALLOONS
WHEN I WAS A KID.
Grandma: HE DID?
THESE BALLOONS
ARE FULL OF HOT AIR.
WHAT DID HE SAY,
GRANDMA?
HE SAID THAT HE WAS
FULL OF HOT AIR.
[GRR]
CAREFUL, NOW!
THE FIRST STEP'S A DOOZIE.
HELP!
BON VOYA-GEE,
YOU MUTT!
HA HA HA HA!
[YELPS]
GOING DOWN!
OH, NO!
[CRASH]
LOOK! IT'S THE
BLUE DEVILS!
I USED TO FLY
IN A GROUP LIKE THA
WHEN I FIRS
GOT MARRIED.
I DON'
REMEMBER THAT.
Grandpa: I USED TO
FLY HELICOPTERS.
Girl: I BET YOU DON'T REMEMBER
THAT EITHER, HUH, GRANDMA?
YOU FOLKS WAN
A HELICOPTER RIDE?
OH, PLEASE, GRANDPA,
CAN WE?
SURE!
YOU WANT ME TO
FLY HER, OR WHAT?
UH, NO.
THAT'S OK.
[MAX GROWLING]
Girl: HEATHCLIFF,
COME HERE!
STOP PICKING ON HIM,
YOU OLD BULLDOG!
UH-OH!
HELP!
AAH!
HEY, WATCH IT!
GIVE ME A BREAK, BIRD!
Grandma: LOOK, IGGY,
THERE'S THE 777.
OH, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
MOMMY!
Heathcliff: I KNOW
YOU HAD A TOUGH TIME,
BUT DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'RE STRETCHING
THINGS A BIT?
LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!
LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!
THE PAUSE THAT REFRESHES.
I USED TO
DO THAT!
I THINK I REMEMBER
THAT ONE.
GOTCHA!
OOH!
LOOK. THERE'S
HEATHCLIFF!
[THUD]
P.A.: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE JUDGES ARE IN THE BOOTH,
AND THE DRAWING
IS ABOUT TO BEGIN
TO SEE WHO WILL BE THE
LUCKY WINNER OF THE 777 RIDE.
WE WILL READ YOU
THE WINNER'S NAME
IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES.
OH, GRANDPA,
I'VE JUST GOT TO WIN!
JUST HOPE WITH
ALL YOUR MIGHT, IGGY.
CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND HOPE.
THE WINNER IS..
IGGY NUTMEG!
OH, BOY! I WON,
I WON! YA-HOO!
NOPE, I'VE NEVER
FLOWN ONE OF THESE.
AM I HEARING RIGHT?
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T PULL THIS LEVER.
DO YOU MIND?!
NO!
GRANDPA, THE PILO
GOT EJECTED!
HE'S GONE!
TOWER TO 777.
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
777 TO TOWER.
WE READ YOU.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
[GRR]
HOW'S THAT SHIP DOING
THOSE THINGS?
WATCH OUT!
IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US!
LOOK! THE KID'S BRINGING IT IN
FOR A LANDING!
HOLD IT STEADY, KID.
HOLD IT STEADY!
[CHEERING]
YAY!
YAY!
YAY!
SOMEDAY, YOU'LL
BE AS GOOD A PILO
AS YOUR GRANDFATHER,
HONEY.
I AM SO TIRED.
AH! THAT'S WHAT I'VE
BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO--
A NICE, REFRESHING CATNAP.
[SNORING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
GO AWAY!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WHO ARE YOU TELLING
TO GO AWAY?
UH, UHNO,
I SAID DON'T GO AWAY.
WELL, THAT'S BETTER,
BECAUSE I NEED
YOUR HELP.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S THE MATTER!
MUFFY DuPARR, THAT'S
WHAT'S THE MATTER!
[BELLS RINGING]
[HORN BLARES]
WAY TO GO!
OOH, SHE MAKES ME
SO MAD, I--
I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE COULD DO
THIS TO ME!
CLEO, DON'T!
DON'T INTERRUPT!
OOH, SHE MAKES ME
SO MAD, I
I WANT TO
THROW SOMETHING!
NO!
AHH!
OH, NO!
AFTER ALL
I'VE DONE FOR HER,
I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE COULD DO THIS!
NO, CLEO!
PUT THE
TELEVISION DOWN--
CAREFULLY.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?
OH, THAT MUFFY DuPARR!
HER OWNERS ARE
OUT OF TOWN,
AND SHE'S HAVING
A BIG SOCIETY PARTY.
I REALLY WANTED TO GO,
BUT I'M NOT INVITED
BECAUSE I'M NO
A PEDIGREE.
I WAS GOOD ENOUGH
TO PROTECT HER FROM DOGS
WHEN WE WERE
BOTH KITTENS,
BUT NOW I'M NO
EVEN GOOD ENOUGH
TO GO TO HER PARTY!
IT MAKES ME SO MAD,
I--I WANT TO
THROW SOMETHING!
HERE.
YOU CAN THROW THIS.
JUST THROW I
OUT THE WINDOW
INTO THE JUNKYARD,
AND YOU'LL FEEL
A LOT BETTER.
WAIT TILL
I OPEN THE WINDOW!
OK, NOW!
OOH!
Cleo: YOU WERE RIGHT.
I DO FEEL BETTER NOW.
BUT I'M STILL FURIOUS
ABOUT NOT BEING INVITED
TO THAT PARTY!
OH, YOU WOULDN'T WAN
TO GO TO A PARTY WITH
THOSE SNOBS ANYWAY.
YES, I WOULD!
OK. OK, YOU'LL GO,
AND I'LL BE YOUR ESCORT.
NOI'LL BE
YOUR ESCORT.
MUFFY WILL PROBABLY
BE LOOKING FOR ME
IN A DISGUISE,
BUT SHE'LL
NEVER THINK THA
I'D COME DRESSED
AS A BOY CAT,
AND SHE'LL NEVER
RECOGNIZE YOU
DRESSED
AS A GIRL CAT!
RIFF RAFF,
YOU'RE A GENIUS!
OF COURSE SHE
WON'T RECOGNIZE ME
AS A GIRL CAT,
BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO
DRESS LIKE A GIRL CAT.
OH, THANK YOU,
RIFF RAFF!
RIFF RAFF, I DON'T MEAN
TO BE CRITICAL,
BUT YOU REALLY SHOULD DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PLACE.
IT'S A MESS!
I'LL PICK YOU UP LATER.
OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE
A PARTY WE'LL NEVER FORGET!
BYE!
PARTY?
WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH HIM?
HIS FAVORITE
RADIO STATION IS PLAYING
THE 3,000 GREATEST HITS
OF ROCK AND ROLL IN ORDER,
AND HE HASN'T SLEP
FOR OVER A WEEK!
SO, WHAT PARTY
ARE WEGOING TO?
WEAREN'T GOING
TO ANY PARTY.
YOU GUYS
WOULDN'T WANT TO
GO TO THIS PARTY.
YOU JUST DON'T WANT US
TO HAVE ANY FUN.
BOO-HOO-HOO!
YOU HAVE TO TAKE US!
OH, I DO, HUH?
OK, YOU CAN COME,
BUT YOU HAVE TO DRESS UP
JUST LIKE I DO.
COME ON INSIDE,
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHA
YOU HAVE TO WEAR.
PARTY, PARTY, PARTY
Riff Raff:
WITH THESE DISGUISES,
MUFFY WILL NEVER
RECOGNIZE US.
I DON'T THINK
IT'S GONNA WORK.
BESIDES, NO ONE WOULD
CARRY THIS PURSE
WITH THIS DRESS!
NEVER MIND THAT,
HECTOR.
JUST TAKE CARE
OF WORDSWORTH.
Cleo: I GUESS
THAT'S AS GOOD AS
IT'S GOING TO GET.
[KNOCK KNOCK]
YES?
WE'RE HERE
FOR THE PARTY.
MAY I SEE YOUR
INVITATION?
I, UHUH, SEEM TO HAVE,
UH, MISPLACED IT.
Butler: I'M SORRY.
YOU CAN'T COME IN IF YOU
DON'T HAVE AN INVITATION.
I TOLD YOU WE
SHOULDN'T ATTEND
SUCH A COMMON AFFAIR,
PRINCESS RAFFINA.
PRINCESS?
PRINCESS?
DID YOU SAY
"PRINCESS"?
[NORMAL VOICE]
THAT'S RIGHT. AHEM.
[FEMININE VOICE]
THAT'S RIGHT.
I AM
PRINCESS RAFFINA.
WHY, COME RIGHT IN,
YOUR HIGHNESS.
[SARCASTICALLY]
WHY, COME RIGHT IN,
YOUR HIGHNESS.
I WANT YOU TO MEE
ALL OF MY GUESTS,
PRINCESS.
MONGO, LET'S YOU AND ME
GO MEET THE FOOD.
HEY!
SAVE SOME FOR US!
COME ON, MONGO.
GIVE ME A HAND WITH HIM.
THERE. THAT OUGH
TO HOLD HIM.
AHEM! WE WERE
WONDERING IF
YOU TWO LADIES
WOULD LIKE
TO DANCE.
[NORMAL VOICE]
TAKE A--
[FEMININE VOICE]
TAKE A HIKE, PAL.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO,
CAUSE A SCENE?
I AIN'T DANCING
WITH THOSE GUYS.
LOOK, YOU WANTED TO
COME TO THIS PARTY.
NOW DON'
RUIN IT FOR CLEO.
DANCE!
[GUESTS MUTTERING]
OOH!
OOH!
OUCH!
OOH!
OW!
YOU KNOW, PRINCESS,
I EXPECTED TO SEE
MY GOOD FRIEND CLEO
AT THIS PARTY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
SHE ISN'T HERE.
SHE WAS INVITED.
WELL, IF SHE DOES
SHOW UP,
I HOPE SHE DOESN'
BRING THAT ALLEY CA
RIFF RAFF WITH HER.
YOU KNOW, SKIP, I THINK
IT WOULD BE VERY NICE
IF YOU ASKED MY COUSIN,
THE DUCHESS, TO DANCE.
UH
I DON'T, UH
I THINK THAT'S
A WONDERFUL IDEA, SKIP.
BUT, MUFFY!
DANCE, MISTER.
BEAT IT, CHESTER.
I'M CUTTING IN.
UH, THIS IS MY
DANCE, SKIP.
[HOWLING]
MAY I HAVE THIS
DANCE, DUCHESS?
Skip: WHOA!
YOU GONNA LET HIM
TAKE YOUR DATE AWAY?
Chester:
WHAT CAN I DO?
Princess:
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
YOU CAN STAND UP
AND FIGHT FOR HER!
WHAT ARE YOU,
A CAT OR A MOUSE?
I'M A CAT, AND I'M GONNA
GET MY DATE BACK!
HEH HEH HEH!
BEAT IT, SKIP!
AND WHAT IF I DON'T?
THEN THIS
IF YOU DON'T!
OH! LOOK OUT!
Woman:
OH, LOOK OUT!
Riff Raff:
HEY, WATCH IT!
Muffy:
OH! LOOK OUT!
WHOA!
SHALL WE?
SO, YOU WANT TO PLAY
THAT WAY, DO YOU?
NOW WE'LL SEE
HOW YOU LIKE IT!
WHOA!
[CRASH]
I THINK NOW WOULD
BE A GOOD TIME
FOR US TO LEAVE.
RIGHT, PRINCESS.
Riff Raff: I TOLD YOU
WE'D GET AWAY WITH IT.
THANK YOU,
RIFF RAFF.
YOU CAME THROUGH,
AS USUAL.
I CAN'T WAI
TO GET HOME
AND TAKE
THESE SHOES OFF!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
Mongo: WHERE'S
WORDSWORTH?
Riff Raff:
HECTOR, WHERE'S WORDSWORTH?
THERE HE IS!
LET'S GO GET HIM!
[EVERYONE MOANING]
AM I TARDY
FOR THE PARTY?
YOU MISSED IT.
NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP.
OK.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO
INVITE THESE KINDS
OF CATS TO YOUR PARTY,
WELL, YOU CAN
JUST FORGET ABOU
INVITING ME.
YEAH, MUFFY.
YOU REALLY SHOULD
BE MORE CAREFUL
WHO YOU INVITE
TO YOUR PARTIES.
HA HA HA!
IT'S NEVER TOO COLD FOR A
GOLDFISH.
COME ON IN, THE WATER'S FINE!
SEE? HE LIKES COLD.
BUT IN SUMMER YOUR GOLDFISH
MIGHT GET TOO HOT.
THE AERATOR AND A FAN HELPS THE
WATER EVAPORATE
AND KEEP IT COOL.
WHEW! YOU'RE SO COOL,
HEATHCLIFF.
TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW.
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