Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e56 Episode Script

HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY
THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE
DUMP HISTORY ♪
AND ALWAYS
HAVE AN ALIBI-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY
THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
I'M SORRY, HEATHCLIFF.
YOU CAN'T TAKE A GIRL
TO THE SAME OLD PLACES
ALL THE TIME.
IT GETS BORING,
AND I HAVE BETTER
THINGS TO DO.
AW, COME ON, SONIA.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
WHY, JUS
LAST WEEK--
I DON'T WAN
TO DISCUSS IT ANYMORE.
UNLESS YOU CAN COME UP
WITH SOMETHING DIFFEREN
AND ROMANTIC,
WE'RE THROUGH.
THROUGH? AH, WOMEN.
[HUMMING]
[HUMMING]
AH, WHENEVER I'M
STARTING TO FEEL DOWN,
I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON OLD SPIKE
TO COME AROUND TO CHEER ME UP.
[HUMMING]
YAHOO!
YAH!
YIPPEE! RIDE 'EM,
COWCAT! YAHOOEE!
GET ALONG, LITTLE DOGIE!
YIP-YIP-YIP-YIPPEE! OH!
HEY, LET GO!
AH, DON'T GE
EXCITED, PAL.
WE DON'T WAN
NO TROUBLE.
THE CATFATHER
WANTS
TO SEE YOU.
THE CATFATHER?
WHO'S THE CATFATHER?
THE CATFATHER'S
OUR BOSS. WE'RE NEW
TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
AND HE'S HEARD A LO
ABOUT YOU, SEE.
YOU GOT QUITE
A REPUTATION,
HEATHCLIFF.
HE WAS WONDERING,
IF IT ISN'
TOO MUCH TROUBLE,
PERHAPS YOU
COULD MEET WITH HIM.
WHEN?
NOW.
OK. I'LL SEE WHAT HE
HAS TO SAY. LET'S GO.
AH, YOU MUST BE MEATCLIFF.
I HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU.
THAT'S HEATHCLIFF,
NOT MEATCLIFF.
WHATEVER.
LISTEN, BEEFCLIFF,
I GOT SOMETHING
I WANT YOU
TO DO FOR ME.
THAT'S HEATHCLIFF,
NOT BEEFCLIFF,
NOT MEATCLIFF--
HEATHCLIFF.
UH-OH.
OH, HEY, SORRY.
SOMETIMES I
DON'T HEAR SO GOOD.
ANYWAY, LEAFCLIFF,
I GOT THIS
LITTLE PROBLEM.
I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU
COULD HELP ME OUT.
YOU SEE, I'M
A VERY WELL-LIKED CAT.
CATS ARE ALWAYS
GIVING ME THINGS,
LIKE RUBBER MICE,
FISH, MILK, YOU KNOW,
THINGS I LIKE.
WHILE THIS IS
VERY NICE, IT ALSO
CREATES A PROBLEM.
BEING NEW TO
THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
WE DON'T KNOW OUR WAY
AROUND SO GOOD,
WHILE I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU KIND OF RUN
THIS TOWN, THREECLIFF.
I WAS HOPING YOU'D
AGREE TO COLLEC
THESE GIFTS FOR ME.
WHY SHOULD I?
WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
OH, PARDON.
DIDN'T I MENTION?
I CAN'T USE ALL
THESE GIFTS MYSELF.
I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU
COULD TAKE SOME OF
THEM OFF MY HANDS,
YOU KNOW,
FOR YOUR TROUBLE.
HMM. OK, PAL.
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL.
OK, LARGE LOUIE,
GIVE HIM THE LIST.
I'LL GET ON THIS
RIGHT AWAY, BUDDY.
SEE YOU AROUND.
HEY, CATFATHER,
WHAT'S WITH THIS
"PRESENT" ROUTINE?
AH, LITTLE JOEY,
I COULDN'T TELL HIM
WHY THE CATS IS
REALLY GIVING US
THESE THINGS.
YEAH, BOSS. ANY CATS
WHAT DON'T PAY UP,
WE TAKES CARE OF THEM.
THAT'S RIGHT, LARGE LOUIE.
THAT HEATHCLIFF'S
TOO SMART FOR THAT.
TABBY MAGIRK,
NEXT ON THE LIST.
AH, HEATHCLIFF,
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YA?
HI, TABBY.
NOTHING FOR ME.
I'M DOING A FAVOR
FOR A GUY.
A FAVOR?
YEAH. YOUR NAME'S
ON THIS LIST I GO
FROM THE CATFATHER.
THE CATFATHER? YAH!
OH, THIS CATFATHER
SURE IS A POPULAR GUY.
THE CATFATHER.
HEY, FELLAS,
I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FOR YOU.
WOW! HEATHCLIFF,
WHERE'D YOU GE
ALL THE LOOT?
OH, THEY'RE NOT FOR ME.
THEY'RE FOR THE CATFATHER.
All: THE CATFATHER?!
GEE, THANKS, BOYS.
YOU WERE THE LAST 3
ON MY LIST.
OH, HEATHCLIFF,
NOW, THIS IS ROMANTIC.
HAVE A SEAT, MY DEAR.
DINNER WILL BE READY
IN A MOMENT.
THANK YOU, HEATHIE.
MMM, THIS MEAL
WAS DELICIOUS.
HEY, SONIA, I GOT YOU
A LITTLE SOMETHING.
OH, HEATHCLIFF,
IT'S SO CUTE!
[GIGGLING]
EVERYTHING WOULD BE
JUST PERFEC
IF IT WASN'T FOR
THAT AWFUL NEW CA
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHAT CAT?
WHY, THE CATFATHER,
OF COURSE.
HE'S BEEN
GOING AROUND
AND MAKING
ALL THE CATS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
GIVE HIM PRESENTS
OR ELSE.
OR ELSE WHAT?
YOU KNOW, AND THERE'S
SOME TERRIBLE CA
COLLECTING FOR HIM.
THAT CA
WOULD HAVE TO BE
AN AWFUL INDIVIDUAL
TO WORK FOR
SOMEONE LIKE THAT.
[MUMBLING]
TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER
ON OLD HEATHCLIFF, EH?
[YELLING]
HELLO, BOYS.
DON'T BE
IN SUCH A HURRY.
YOU BOYS
ARE ABOUT TO HELP ME
SAVE MY REPUTATION.
UH, HI, BIG GUY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
[STUTTERING]
UH, CATFATHER, WE WERE SENT HERE
TO GIVE YOU A MESSAGE FROM
A VERY BIG IMPORTANT SCARY GUY.
YOU GOT A MESSAGE FOR ME?
LET ME HAVE IT.
[AHEM]
"DEAR CATFATHER, IT HAS
BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION
THAT YOU HAVE ENCROACHED
UPON MY TERRITORY"--
GET TO THE POINT!
YEAH. "UNDER THE
AFORESAID CONDITIONS,
"YOU ARE HEREBY ORDERED
TO VACATE THESE PREMISES,
"AND YOURSELF
AND YOUR SCRAGGLY COHORTS
ARE NOTIFIED YOU HAVE
ONE HOUR TO PACK UP
AND LEAVE TOWN."
SIGNED, "THE HEATHFATHER."
HUH? I DON'T KNOW
ANY HEATHFATHER,
BUT MY BOYS ARE GOING
TO GIVE YOU BOYS
A MESSAGE
TO TAKE BACK TO HIM.
GET THEM, BOYS!
WE'RE LEAVING,
OR WE'RE GRIEVING.
[BREATHING HARD]
[YELLING]
FOLLOW THEM.
Hector: RUN AWAY!
RUN AWAY!
[ALL GASP]
THE HEATHFATHER.
IN PERSON.
SO YOU'RE
THE MEATFATHER.
THAT'S HEATHFATHER!
HEATHFATHER!
AND YOU'RE THROUGH
IN THIS TOWN.
THE PARTY'S OVER,
RATFATHER!
THAT'S WHA
YOU THINK.
THE PARTY
IS JUST BEGINNING.
[HISSING AND MEOWING]
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
BOWLING FOR GANGSTERS.
THIS OUGHT TO
ROUND OUT YOUR DAY.
AND LAS
BUT NOT LEAST
THE FATFATHER.
OH, NO!
YEESH!
BOUNCY, BOUNCY,
BAD GUYS.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GE
FOR TRYING TO FOOL
OLD HEATHCLIFF.
BEEFCLIFF!
BEEFCLIFF'S THE MEATFATHER!
"BEEFCLIFF"?
"MEATFATHER"?
WHAT'S GOING
ON HERE?
IT'S A LONG STORY.
Catfather:
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
IT WAS LEAFCLIFF!
IT WAS LEAFCLIFF
ALL ALONG!
AND A SCRATCHING
POST FOR TIGER.
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, TABBY.
IT'S ALL THERE.
WELL, THAT LOOKS LIKE
THE LAST OF THE THINGS
THE CATFATHER TOOK,
HEATHCLIFF.
Sonia:
OH, HEATHCLIFF.
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO COME TO MY HOUSE
AND PLAY WITH
THE MECHANICAL MOUSE
YOU GAVE ME?
WELL, SONIA, IT REALLY
WASN'T MINE TO GIVE
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
ALTHOUGH I COULD ALWAYS
MAKE ITS OWNER AN OFFER
HE CAN'T REFUSE.
[CHUCKLING]
[MICE SQUEAKING]
I CAN'T HACK IT.
WILL YOU STOP THAT RACKE
SO I CAN WRITE MY POEM
IN A PEACEFUL HOME?
[YELLING]
YOU WRECKED
MY CONCENTRATION.
DON'T LET I
HAPPEN AGAIN!
[LAUGHING]
AND YOU GUYS
BETTER SHAPE UP,
OR I'M GOING TO TRADE YOU IN
FOR SOME ORANGES,
UNDERSTAND?
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
LOOK AT THOSE SHUCKERS
PRACTICING
FOR THAT BENEFIT SHOW.
WHAT A BUNCH OF CLOWNS.
YEAH, BRUNO, I JUST CAN'
STAND CLOWNS, DUMMIES,
AND DO-GOODERS.
SPEAKING OF DUMMIES,
HERE COMES THE KING
OF THE BUNCH.
BRUNO, WHY IS I
YOU NEVER TALK TO ME?
YOU'RE JUST TOO QUIET,
YOU KNOW THAT, BOY?
AT LEAST MAKE A SOUND
OR SOMETHING.
CLAP. LET ME
KNOW YOU'RE THERE.
AH, LOOK
WHAT I GOT FOR DESSERT
CREAM PIE!
ME FIRST!
GIVE ME.
OOH!
YUM YUM YUM.
Mongo: WHAT KIND IS IT,
HECTOR, BANANA CREAM
OR VANILLA CREAM?
SOUR CREAM. HAVE SOME.
Wordsworth:
UH-OH.
IT WAS MEAN
FOR HECTOR!
[LAUGHING]
OH!
Mongo: HEY, EVERYBODY,
I'M THE ONLY ONE THA
DIDN'T GET HIT WITH A PIE.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
Cleo: I THINK
YOU'LL REALLY LIKE
THE JUNKYARD CATS.
THEY'RE THE KIND
OF CATS WHO CAN
SET A GOOD EXAMPLE
FOR YOUR BOYS CLUB
TO FOLLOW,
YOU KNOW,
INTELLIGENT,
MATURE, GOOD SPORTS.
GEE, I CAN'T WAI
TO MEET THEM.
WAIT TILL I TELL
THE REST OF THE GUYS.
[AHEM]
WHAT A PLEASAN
SURPRISE.
MAY I REMIND
ALL OF YOU
THAT YOU
ARE SUPPOSED
TO BE PRACTICING
YOUR ROUTINES FOR
THE BENEFIT SHOW.
WE WERE. WE THOUGH
WE'D TAKE A BREAK
AND HAVE SOME PIE.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
BUT CAN WE GET GOING?
I'M REALLY
ANXIOUS TO MEE
THOSE JUNKYARD CATS.
BOBO, THESE ARE
THE JUNKYARD CATS.
INTELLIGENT? MATURE?
FELLAS, THIS IS BOBO
FROM THE BOYS CLUB.
GLAD TO MEET YOU.
HIYA, BOBO.
HIYA, BOBO.
HELLO, BOBO.
ON BEHALF
OF THE BOYS CLUB,
I'D LIKE
TO THANK YOU
FOR YOUR UPCOMING
PARTICIPATION
IN THE BENEFIT SHOW.
OUR PLEASURE, KID.
SHOULD BE A GAS.
[BURP]
EXCUSE ME.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE MADE
OF STERNER STUFF
THAN THAT WIMP BOBO.
TO SWIPE ALL
THE FISH DONATIONS
AT THE BENEFIT SHOW
WILL TAKE COORDINATION
AND SPLIT-SECOND TIMING.
IF ANYBODY
WILL TRY TO STOP US,
IT'LL BE THOSE
DOPEY JUNKYARD CATS.
WHAT WE GOT TO DO
IS PUT THEM
OUT OF COMMISSION
BEFORE THEY RUIN
THE BIG SWIPE.
LET'S GO.
NOW, THAT'S WHA
I LIKE--ENTHUSIASM.
DROP THE TELESCOPE ANYWHERE
AND COME SEE THIS.
[SPLASH]
MY SECRET WEAPON.
[WHISTLES]
OK, BOYS,
THE PEANUTS ARE INSIDE.
BRUNO, IT'S TIME
I TOLD YOU ABOU
MY BRILLIANT PLAN.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
GO!
DON'T GET HELP
LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
THEY'RE FAST,
AND THEY WORK FOR PEANUTS.
[ALL GASP]
[CHEERING]
WHERE'S THE FISH?
WE'RE BEHIND SCHEDULE.
BRUNO,
CHECK THE OPENING.
INTO THE WAGON,
YOU DUMMY.
FISH,A POEM
BY WORDSWORTH W. WORDSWORTH.
[AHEM]
"FISH ARE GOOD.
FISH ARE FINE.
"I CAN EAT FISH
ALL THE TIME.
"I LIKE THEM BIG.
I LIKE THEM SMALL.
I'M NOT FUSSY.
I LIKE THEM ALL."
[CHEERING]
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
SO MUCH FISH?
I NEED 5 VOLUNTEERS
TO TRY AND LIF
THIS BARBELL.
NO WAY. UH-UH.
[CROWD GASPS]
NO HANDS.
[CHEERING]
OOPS! YAH!
[CHUCKLING]
[CHEERING]
I'M VERY PROUD.
YOU WERE ALL
SO FANTASTIC.
OK, YOU BANANAS,
DON'T LET IT GO
TO YOUR HEADS.
WE STILL GO
ALL THAT FISH
TO LOAD UP.
Cat: HI, GUYS.
LONG TIME NO SEE.
Riff Raff:
IF IT AIN'T BORIS.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
STILL IN THE JOINT.
THEY LET ME OU
ON GOOD BEHAVIOR,
AND SPEAKING
OF GOOD BEHAVIOR,
I WANT TO DO
A GOOD DEED.
FEELING WELL,
BORIS?
THIS DOESN'
SOUND LIKE YOU.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU
WHERE THERE'S A FRESH
LOAD OF FISH.
A LOT OF KIDDIES
CAN BE FED FOR A LONG
TIME ON THIS LOAD.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
MY DONATION TO
THE BENEFIT SHOW.
OH, OK. I SUPPOSE
IT CAN'T HUR
TO TAKE A LOOK.
IN YOU GO, BOYS.
YOU START UNLOADING
WHILE I HUSTLE UP
SOME TRANSPORTATION.
WE DON'
SEE NOTHING.
IT'S RIGHT AT THE BACK--
FRESH HALIBUT JUST IN
FROM THE COAST.
Riff Raff: WHERE?
I DON'T SEE ANY HALIBUT.
GO FARTHER!
Hector: WHO TURNED OU
THE LIGHTS?
Mongo: I'M SCARED!
Riff Raff:
WHAT'S GOING ON?
Wordsworth: WHERE
DID EVERYBODY GO?
WHAT TIMING.
SO LONG, SUCKERS.
HAVE A NICE TRIP.
Mongo:
HEY, LET US OUT.
Riff Raff:
LET US OUT!
WHAT'S
THE BIG IDEA?
WHAT'S
THE BIG IDEA?
IF YOU ASK ME,
HE'S GOING TO SWIPE
ALL THE FISH
AT THE BENEFIT SHOW.
WE GOT TO STOP HIM.
HOW DO WE
GET OUT OF HERE?
Wordsworth:
UH-OH.
HELLO, SIR.
COULD YOU BE SO KIND
AS TO SHOW US THE WAY OUT?
All: YOW!
[HORN BLOWING]
EVERYBODY JUMP!
I DON'T WANT TO SEE
ANYTHING WITH HORNS
EVER AGAIN.
OH, NO!
Mongo: MAYBE HE'S FRIENDLY.
All: YIIII!
WATCH OU
FOR THAT BIG BULLY!
A JOB WELL DONE.
THE BIG SWIPE WILL GO DOWN
IN THE HISTORY BOOKS.
LET'S ROLL.
YOW!
CAN I HAVE 2 VOLUNTEERS FOR
THE CREAM-PIE THROWING CONTEST?
FIRE!
[LAUGHTER]
THE BOYS CLUB WISHES TO THANK
THE JUNKYARD CATS
FOR THEIR PARTICIPATION
IN THE BENEFIT SHOW.
ALL OF US HERE TODAY
HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING
FROM THEM.
I KNOW I HAVE.
[LAUGHTER]
ONE OF THE THINGS YOU'LL NOTICE
ABOUT DOGS
DOGS UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY
THE TONE OF YOUR VOICE
AS MUCH AS BY WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING.
OK PUPPY, SIT.
ALWAYS WHEN YOU GIVE COMMANDS,
USE YOUR NORMAL VOICE
AND BE FIRM.
BAD DOG. GET BACK IN YOUR DOG
HOUSE.
IF YOU WANT TO CORRECT YOUR DOG,
USE A QUICK LOW VOICE.
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