Heels (2021) s02e08 Episode Script

High Flying

[JACK] Previously on Heels
Tell them that they need to
sell me on why they should
be the ones to help Continuum
launch its new
wrestling league, corporation
whatever the hell it is
we're calling it this week.
I got 36 hours to impress
someone that I don't know
who's got questions
about I don't know what,
and he-he said that
four different times:
"You gotta impress her".
Jack, you impress someone
by just walking into a room.
The Condamned and Crystal will
both be at the event next week.
- Harmageddon, divided we stand.
[GULLY] Hey, Willie, you know what?
I know you don't respect me,
but you gotta respect
the fact that I know talent
and I know what to do with it.
And just like
what I've done with Rooster,
I wanna do the same
for Crystal, but also for you.
[JACK] I need your help.
We need to impress
this corporate Continuum lady tomorrow.
I know they're looking at Dystopia
'cause that's where we met Brooks.
But we need to out Gully Gully.
So what do you wanna do exactly?
I just wanna be useful.
- [PERSON] When can you start?
- [ACE] Uh, yesterday.
The DWL is what you and me do.
Ace has a different destiny.
[JACK] When Bill came to you
with a golden ticket
just for you, I was not prepared.
[STACI] Hey, I heard about Ace.
That's a big opportunity.
That's exciting.
That's so great for him.
It knocked me down.
There's two kinds of women.
There are women who get taken care of.
That's you. And then there's me.
I get dirty and I fix shit,
so you don't have to spend
a single second worrying about
unfixed shit.
What's going on here, Willie?
What if knowing stuff means finding out
the DWL can't keep itself
afloat legally and never has?
Is that really something you wanna know?
[STACI] There's a lotta stuff
in those boxes.
- [JACK] Like what?
- [STACI] Shady stuff.
Consequential if discovered.
I think your dad did stuff
that could make
everything that we rebuilt
all get destroyed,
and I have no idea what to do about it.
I hate him.

[SINGER] I'm not waiting for ♪
The answer ♪

I will ♪
Walk in the shore ♪
To find you ♪
To find ♪
The peace that's your own ♪
Where you come from ♪
All that you want ♪

One that's your own ♪
Place to call home ♪
Won't be ♪
Granted ♪
What is fair in love ♪
Is fair in war ♪

What is fair in love ♪
Is fair in war ♪
One ♪
To one ♪
What's love ♪
In war? ♪


[TOM] The Shooting Star Press?
Jack, that was terrible.
What the fuck are you thinking?
I'm trying to add some aerials
to my move set.
You can't be adding flippity-dos
you can't even do into a foam pit.
It's not a good use of your energy.
It's not in your wheelhouse.
Save it for the pool.
Can't be begging God for
new gifts at your age, son.
You're not a high-flyer, Jack.
You never will be.
The pursuit of versatility is a vice.
You can't look at every limitation
as something that has to be overcome.
Just accept that God
doesn't give with both hands,
but don't forget what he did give you.
You're great on the mic, you're solid,
you retain muscle without much effort,
but you got the quads
and the thighs of a catcher.
You're a grappler, Jack. A technician.
Be a good base.
You're not gonna suddenly
be a "Butterfly Man".
Put over the guys
who can pull this shit off.
[SIGHS] Dad, I'm just trying to
What? Turn yourself into Rey Mysterio?
That ain't gonna happen.
We are who we are, Jack.
I can't do this shit either.
Only athlete in this family
who can is Ace.
Thankfully, he's got bigger
and better plans now.
Work smart, God damn it.

Hey, Kenneth, how we doing today?
The same.
You wanna play a game?
Bonnie, I'm so grateful you could
come all the way out here.
I know you're busy.
I just I knew if people
downtown saw me
walking into your law office
No need to apologise, Staci.
Any excuse to see ya outside
of church is a good one.
And I don't really wanna
go into my office either.
Ah, God, sorry.
I'm sick about all this.
Bonnie, is what we discuss protected?
Legally, I mean.
I mea I mean,
it's confidential, right?
You got any change in that purse?
I'm sure I do.
[BONNIE] Grab me a dime.
Would you like my legal advice
during this initial consultation?
Hand me the dime please.
Once that dime is in my hand,
it will ensure that anything we discuss
will be protected.
Great. Now, what's troubling you?
Oh, and and Jack and I
are great, by the way.
That's not what this is about.
The DWL's not so much.
Nice job bailing on class, pussy.
When's the flight?
Three. but I'm not going,
and you calling me a pussy's
insulting to women everywhere.
Dickface, you're coming to
Georgia with me for this event.
You can do the paperwork for
Palm Springs when you get back.
It's an escrow thing.
I own a home. I know what escrow is.
- You don't gotta be there.
- I do.
Caitlyn should go.
If we don't start letting her
experience bigger stuff,
she'll quit.
Caitlyn didn't scout
these wrestling people.
I'm not gonna know what I'm looking at.
- You'll have Caitlyn.
- I don't like Caitlyn.
I don't think you like me.
- I don't.
[JEN] But it's a familiar dislike.
The Condamned and
that, um, Crystal chick
- are gonna be there, right?
- [BROOKS] Yeah.
I'm not gonna go if they're not
gonna be wrestling.
Jack has assured me that they're both
gonna be in the show, the match.
They are both gonna be in the match.
Before you get to Duffy,
I did a little bit of research.
I think these two guys
actually hate each other.
For real. Charlie Gully
has a lawsuit out
against Jack Spade for personal injury.
There's footage of the fight on YouTube.
Let's step that back.
The likelihood of a man
"punching" another man
in professional wrestling
and causing actual injury seems low.
[BROOKS] Look, the audience
chasing after Jack
to kick his ass is real.
The lawsuit is real.
I'm not sure how these guys
are gonna take
to us blending their promotions.
Brooks, where'd you get your MBA?
Wharton School of Business.
Me? I went the University
of New Hampshire.
Also known as Peter T. Paul College
of Business and Economics.
You know what I learned
at Peter T. Paul College
of Business and Economics
that I presume you learned
at Wharton School of Nursing
is that you don't tell anybody
anything that you want them to do
that they may not want to do
until you have them under contract.
What if they don't like
working with each other
once we have them under contract?
What do you think
a binding contract is for?
You're gonna be in charge of making sure
that these two companies work together.
You're gonna have to
explain it to them, not me.
Be nice to Caitlyn, okay?
She doesn't know that
you're jokin' all the time.
I'm not joking all the time.
[DEBBIE] Oh, hey, boss.
We got the new Crystal merch.
We got ladies cut
and we got extra-extra small
for the little girls
'cause they love Crystal
whether she's good or bad.
- Thank you, Debbie.
- [DEBBIE] You're welcome.
- [WILD BILL] Care not
a whit, Jack, not a single whit.
Gully's lighting package
is straining our power grid.
Backup generators are being delivered.
Hey, hey, hey. How'd
the meeting with Bonnie go?
Please tell me you didn't run into
people in town going
into her law office.
She came to our house discreetly,
and the takeaway was
that right now she said
we shouldn't try to break into jail.
She said since people aren't asking,
we don't need to go telling,
which doesn't make me
feel any better about it.
But we gotta get those banker
boxes out of the building.
I don't know where they're
goin', but they can't be here.
And she said Willie's gotta
tell us the truth, all of it,
no matter where it leads.
If this thing is built on
a house of sand, so be it.
Least we know it.
[GULLY] Yeah, my buddy
Tom Welch works in
the admissions office at Michigan,
and I'll make sure
he flags Robin's application.
Y-you don't have to do that.
What's the point of having old friends?
He loves helping people.
Thank you so much, Mr. Gully.
[GULLY] I'm happy to do it.
I know how stressful
this process can be.
I went through it with
my daughter last year.
- [ROBIN] Where's she going?
- Notre Dame!
I gave Robin a journal
with a Knute Rockne quote.
- Tell him, Robin, go 'head.
"Courage means bein'
afraid to do something,
but still doing it".
I need that journal!
- Where'd you get that?
- Barns & Noble.
- They still open?
[TED] Oh, yeah. love that place.
Well, anyways, thank you.
[GULLY] Yeah, hey, Ted.
[TED] And, uh, we'll leave you
to your work talk.
[GULLY] Okay.
Uh, Robin, it's gonna be fine
wherever you end up going.
- Yeah, she's a good kid.
Nice family.
I don't really need that coffee.
Really? "Tick-tock, Fucky"?
Look, let's just [EXHALES] you know,
let let let's put that behind us.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay? I'm trying to be respectful here.
I'm not raging, I'm not kickin'
or breaking anything or doing
the whole Irish hothead thing.
I'm offering both you
and Crystal an opportunity.
She can continue
to be a guest at the DWL.
I'm willing to work with
whatever it is she wants to do.
End of the day, I run a business.
I want that business to succeed,
so I continue to look
for ways to make it succeed.
This is one of the ways.
If you decide that Dystopia
isn't a good move
for Crystal's career right now,
no hard feelings, okay?
You and I return to profane repartee
in our usual loving fashion.
However, if you decide to pursue this,
let's paper the deal.
Continuum's interest in us
is just telling me
that others are gonna be interested.
All right.
I'll see myself to the door.
Before I go,
I want you to take these as a deposit.
If we move forward with the contract,
consider it an advance.
One pouch for Crystal.
One pouch for you.
- If not,
we'll figure it out down the line.
I know where you live.
But I gotta have
your answer tonight, Willie.
I'm moving on one way or the other.
Is there a sound or word that
you're interested in uttering
to signal that you just absorbed
and considered anything I just said?
Thank you again.
Hope to hear from you soon.
- [KENNETH] Ha. I beat you.
- Kenneth, yes, you did!
[NURSE] Hey, new guy, get in here.
I need your help. Come on.
[ACE] One sec. Hey, Mr. Wingate
[NURSE] Can you help me get him back in?
[ACE] Hey, I got you.
I got you. Come on.
- [NURSE 2] Right behind you.
- Roll over. Here you go.
Here you go. Come on. Here you go.
- Call Dr. Goldman.
[NURSE 2] Okay.
[ACE] There you go.
[NURSE] You're gonna be
okay, Mr. Wingate.
[NURSE] Can you stay with him?
We'll be right back.

[ACE] You're okay, Mr. Wingate.
[WHISPERING] It's okay.
It's okay.
[WILLIE] Mornin'.
Where you headed with those?
[STACI] Tell me what's in 'em.
[WILLIE] Feel like we talked about that.
I'll just look myself.
[HUFFS] Fine. Let me show you something.
- [STACI] Willie,
- what are we doin'?
- [WILLIE] Hey, come see.
[STACI] Why do you wanna show me this?
[WILLIE] Parcels of property
are all zoned differently,
which means they're all
taxed differently.
You know the kinds of property
that have significantly lower tax rates?
Agricultural ones.
But even a little one
like this, once a year
someone's gotta come out from
the tax commissioner's office
and inspect the property.
They give our crops a quick look
and ask for some kind of proof
that we're selling 'em,
and check a single box
on a single form
tax rates stay low.
It's the Spade Family Farm.
Been run by the family for generations.
Well, one generation, I guess.
Not surprisingly,
we haven't had a year yet
where we turned a profit,
but operating at a loss,
that's a whole other tax issue.
Some farms even get public assistance
if they have to
sell their crops at a loss.
[STACI] My God.
Remember that stuff I said to you
about knowing and not knowing?
Well, now you know this part.
Guess I'm relieved.
It's nicer than I thought it'd be
handin' it off to you.
[WILLIE] Come see.
You gotta buy a lot of stuff
when you run a farm.
[SIGHS] Supplies, equipment.
You gotta keep the receipts
for the supplies and equipment
so you get the tax write-off.
Sometimes you buy things
you never even use.
So you sell those things,
but you still got the receipts.
Oh, and sometimes you buy
things that don't even exist
tractor, industrial mower.
Leckie Lawn Care was always
great about giving us receipts
even when we walked outta
there with nothing at all.
- Jack?
- Tom.
Did you forget he worked there first?
He and Leckie Sr. were fishing buddies.
[CLICKS TONGUE] So now, you know.
I'm not one of the two kinds
of women you mentioned.
I'm the kind who faces things
head on as they are.
So fix it, Stace.
Fix it.

Once this event
is rendered and completed
as you've both agreed to
in this document,
Mr. Jack Spade and
the Duffy Wrestling League
will be absolved of
any current or future
legal action related to
the previous act of violence
perpetuated upon
Mr. Charles Gully by Mr. Spade.
If you both agree, sign here,
and we will have this notarised by Ms
Roberts. Kathy Roberts.
[SAM] By Ms. Roberts.
I'm glad you both settled this
without any legal action.
It really shows that there's
other ways and other solutions
to solving problems
that I think you both,
despite the tension,
benefitted from this.
Jack, hands don't get shook
until my referee
calls the final match the way in which
we agreed to in this document.
This isn't over until
Dystopia is standing
with our hands raised
while Ace is on his back
crying on the mat.
Then the bell rings,
then we know it's over.
Don't you fuck around
and shit on me, Jack.
Do what you promise,
or I'll bulldoze the DWL.
Don't tempt me.
And now that I know that
Jen Lucié is gonna be here
watching me, I'm watching you.
Thank you, Ms. Roberts.
Hi. How was work?
I watched a man die.
[CAROL] Oh, my God, Ace, how terrible!
I was there to
you know, help him through it.
Mama, can I can I say something?
I can't really say it
to anybody but you.
- Always.
[ACE] The day dad shot himself
and I ran down the stairs
and I found him
didn't step towards him
I stepped back.
I mean, I looked at him for
a second and then I looked away
and I thought, "I can't put his face
where the bullet went in
and came out back together".
I couldn't even think of
anything comforting to say
even as his soul was
watching me be so useless.
I couldn't even say like
"Be free, Dad.
Your burdens are gone. Be free".
I just kept crying.
I just kept saying,
"Why, why, why, why, why?"
Instead of calling 911.
I was a coward that day.
He didn't survive the gunshot.
[SIGHS] Scary way to be right now.
It's frightening 'cause I feel
this this growth inside of me,
but Mama
God caused that growth.
I'm God's field. God's farm.
He planted this yearning inside
of me to be more of a person
than just chasing after
some selfish thing.
I mean, our job as people
is to help each other
find these little moments
of elation between the-the toil
and the uncertainty and
the struggle, the goin' after,
the gettin', and the-the-the winning.
My whole life, I was
focused on how to win.
I was turning into a competitor
for amateur sports when
I shoulda been cultivating kindness.
I made a big mistake this past year.
I tried to face the horror
of what your daddy did with dignity.
Accept it. Move on.
Only recently I realised
that was a terrible mistake
because to honour horror is to
give it a place of importance.
I wanted to overcome it, move past it,
before facing it,
admitting what it was: horrible.
Loving someone is surprising in ways
you don't expect
when you first fall in love.
The longer you live with someone,
their disappointments become yours,
their sadness, their pain,
and that's what love should be.
A harbor. A shelter.
But when you discover that loving people
can't make 'em happy anymore
You feel useless
where you used to feel useful.
Feelin' called to something
is a good thing, Ace.
Just consider what
that calling is tied to,
because sometimes the thing
that we are called to
can break our hearts.
Even when it starts from love.



Willie just gave it to you
and didn't say anything?
[CRYSTAL] There were people there.
She just said that Gully
gave it to her to give to me.
That feels substantial.
Should we unzip it?
Wow. He really wants you
to go to Dystopia.
So does Willie.
You remember when you were worried about
keeping your momentum,
which was like two seconds ago?
Everywhere you go, people notice you.
It may take them a minute,
but they notice.
When you're in the room,
the light just finds you.
Even more since I met you.
[SIGHS] I love you.
I lo-I love you too.
- Okay, I-I gotta go get ready.
- [BOBBY PIN] Yeah.
Hey, kick ass tonight.
[CRYSTAL] You too.
[JACK] Brother, this place is packed!
And here we are
once more unto the breach.
What exactly is a breach?
That's a-that's a break in a wall
for you to burst through
and launch an attack.
Shakespeare, "Henry V".
Once more into battle.
No matter the battle, we must battle.
Thank you for going to battle with me.
It's just a wrestlin' match.
[JACK] Well, there's a lot at stake.
I'm just sorry it's you out there
takin' the fall tonight 'cause of me.
Hey, apologise for that again,
I'm gonna punch you in the face.
Besides, I could still go
Bruce Banner in the ring
and shoot on y'all.
[LAUGHS] It's a joke. I joke.
Ace, you deserve to win tonight
with all the eyes on you.
The crowd, livestream, Continuum.
The Condamned gimmick
you came up with
I didn't know if it was gonna work.
All the stuff I put ya through
[WHISPERING] and, uh
You deserve your chance to shine.
Hey, just 'cause I ain't winning
don't mean I ain't shinin'.
You taught me that.
At least you tried to.
The Condamned story is about service.
I'm part servant, part sentinel.
Gully thinks that we're
doing him a favour
by having me lay down
on the mat losing nah.
It's perfect.
It's just a story. We'll
write a new one tomorrow.
A resurrection. Bam.
Look, man, in a few hours
we'll be done with Gully.
I'm sorry I ever went to Florida
and made you feel like
you had to come save me.
Apologise again to me for that,
and I'll punch you in the face.
Guess we apologise a lot.
- We fuck up a lot.
You carried the DWL.
You resurrected this.
You're the brains.
You're the inspiration.
Thanks for saying that.
Ace, time to gear up.
[ACE] All right.
- Go fuck yourself.
- [JACK] You too.

Thank you. I mean it.
I don't know that I've ever had anyone
lookin' out for me
the way that you have.
I don't want to leave here.
Or-or the people.
- Just not right now.
[DEBBIE LAUGHS] It's gonna be
a great night, boss.
Yeah, don't go jinxing
this shit, Debbie.
- Focus. Eddie.
Bobby, 30-minute warning.
[STACI] Thank y'all so much for coming.
I know it's a long flight from LA.
[JEN] Excited to be here.
Your sizzle reel was incredible.
[STACI] Well, now you get to
see us up close and personal.
Jen, so nice to see you again.
- Lucy, Paul, big night.
- [PAUL] Hey.
- Who we setting on fire first?
Staci, Lucy Gully.
Oh, hi, Lucy. Welcome to Duffy.
- [LUCY] Thank you.
- [PAUL] Staci, Paul Gully.
You got a great turnout.
It's gonna be a good night tonight.
- Nice to meet you.
- [LUCY] Hi, Caitlyn.
[STACI] Hi, ladies. Hi, Annie.
[LUCY] Good to see you too. Thank you.
All right, Jacky boy. Here we go.
Folks are filin' in.
Gully's panties have been
ironed and folded.
Hopefully, he won't try to put
both legs through the same hole
and we'll done here in
about, well, 'bout two hours.
I just want all of us to go over.
That is on each individual
at this point.
Everybody's gettin' to wrestle
in front of an electric crowd.
That's all you can control.
That and your attitude.
Knowing that you are pursuing
things that are ineffable.
Tonight, it's enough to just
go out, put on a great show.
Let the backstage drama fall away
and just answer the call.
Think about the last few months.
I came to scout Ace,
you pinned him in seven seconds,
and you both got pelted with shit.
Don't need to go over it.
[WILD BILL] But we shall,
because it's revealin'.
Essentially, everything that
got you here's been a shoot.
You turned Ace heel without him knowin'.
He bent Bobby's leg 'cause
well, hell, his heart was broke.
We got the Fair 'cause I'd been fired,
just happened to be in town.
You punched out Gully,
then you two brothers beat
the crap outta each other.
I crapped my pants, and Crystal saved us
from getting mired in all
the crap we crapped all over.
And that's just the DWL.
Bill, have you been
reflectin' on all this?
[WILD BILL] Yeah, I have. [LAUGHS]
Then post-Fair, you gotta explain
Crystal having the belt
and put her over.
And then egomaniac Gully
rolls us into his promotion
in a Trojan horse thinkin'
we're doing his bidding,
but he's done ours by gettin' us noticed
because we are good.
Tonight we have a chance to be great.
How we booked it not a shoot.
Whatever comes from tonight,
nothing we can do about it.
It's written in the stars.
You just play it beat by beat.
How you booked it, as good as you are,
you could not have scripted
what got us here,
but tonight you have.
It's enough to have just one big night
go the way you booked it.
Then you're truly a professional.
So just go wrestle.
Thanks for being a real friend, Bill.
Thank you for giving me a family.
[EDDIE] Welcome one and all
to Duffy, Georgia.
It's me, Eddie Earl
and we are streamin' live
from the Duffy Dome.
Happy Harmageddon.
The DWL versus
Florida Wrestling Dystopia.
Joinin' me as always,
Lone Star statesman, Bobby Pin.
Well, get out your inhalers
and your baby aspirin.
Breathtaking, heart-stoppin'
action is coming your way now.
Nice merch.
I should get some merch in pink.
You know, if you're not going on last,
there's nothing better'n going first.
This crowd hasn't seen you
since you were their champ.
- Their hate'll hit ya
like a wave.
Hang ten, kid.
And hit Crystal's music.

[SINGER] I was just a little
girl when I started this ♪
Never thought in the world
it would get this big ♪

Not the apple of your eye,
now I'm running things hard ♪
I scared the power out your mind ♪
When I jumped and I grew wings ♪

I'll fight for the right ♪
I'll fight for the right ♪
Oh, you hate me! Ha ha ha!
[EDDIE] All right, well, look who it is.
Little Miss Defector,
herself Crystal Tyler.
These DWL fans are bellowing
their once beloved
with resounding hate.
[BOBBY PIN] That's right, Eddie.
You know traitors were shot
in the old days.
Today, they just get booed.
[SINGER] I'll fight for the right ♪
I'll fight for the right ♪
I'll fight for the right
to do what I want ♪
She'll be battling Elle Dorado
who now holds the DWL
woman's belt that Crystal
vacated with her defection.
Let's go, Elle.
[BOBBY PIN] Ed, you can tell
this crowd is glad
to see somebody put
Crystal Tyler in her place.
- Ring the bell!
[BOBBY PIN] And straight into blows.
[EDDIE] So much for girlish joy.
[BOBBY PIN] Oh, and Elle Dorado
takes the rough end
- of that exchange.
- [EDDIE] Took that one
right in the dimples.
They went full-on hockey player
at the beginning of that one.
[BOBBY PIN] Ooh, Crystal
sweeps her off her feet
- and not in the fun way.
- [EDDIE] Bobby, they'll be
no Miss Congeniality crown tonight.
[BOBBY PIN] No, sir, Eddie.
And you can hear this divided
crowd lovin' this match.
[EDDIE] Oh, do-si-do, and
an elbow shot to the head.
- Oh, and a front end.
[EDDIE] Oh, that's cheap!
- That's cheap right there!
- Yes!
[EDDIE] There's that reversal flip.
[BOBBY PIN] Elle Dorado
has her in reverse DDT,
but it looks like Crystal Tyler
yes, she reverses out of it.
Ooh, and a heel kick right
to the chin there, Eddie.
[EDDIE] I'd be surprised if Elle Dorado
has a single fillin' left.
Ha ha ha ha!
[EDDIE] And she's coming down
with an elbow!
- [BOBBY PIN] Oh, man.
[STACI] Come on. Get up.
[EDDIE] Crystal has come callin',
and Elle Dorado has chosen violence.
She is possessed.
[BOBBY PIN] Oh, what
a recovery from Crystal.
Oh, what-what is it
she's saying to the crowd?
- This is the best you got?
This is why I moved on from you.
You got nothin'.
[EDDIE] She thinks
she's got this in hand.
Well, we'll see here. Ooh!
I know I'm supposed to
hate her, but I can't.
I know. She just kicks too much ass.
[BOBBY PIN] The crowd
tries to boost Elle Dorado,
gettin' her back into this match.
Wait. I thought that Crystal
was fighting for the DWL.
Not tonight. She's fighting for the FWD,
but she's really with the DWL.
- Let's go, Elle!
- What?
[BOBBY PIN] Crystal whips her
across the ring.
Ooh, slams her into the turnbuckle.
Oh, big reversal flip from Elle Dorado!
Getting stomped to the face
by Elle Dorado.
She starts to pull back
Still gets kicked out by Crystal.
[EDDIE] Just short of a pin.
[BOBBY PIN] And Elle Dorado
gets her into position.
[EDDIE] She's putting her
into magnetic north.
Oh, she didn't stay down as long as
Elle Dorado thought she was gonna.
[BOBBY PIN] Crystal comin' right behind!
[EDDIE] Elle Dorado's grabbing
her by the neck.
Now Crystal's got her too.
Can't believe what I just saw!
[EDDIE] I've never seen
anything like that.
Whoo! Whoo!
[EDDIE] My goodness,
that turned quickly.
[BOBBY PIN] It sure did.
I'll tell you what,
and this crowd loves
to hate Crystal Tyler.
Give me that mic!
Listen, hey! Duffy, I got
I got one thing
that I wanna say to you. Okay? Uh
I am sorry. Truly.
- I-I'm sorry
that you didn't recognise
my greatness sooner.
I'm sorry I wasted my time
worrying about what y'all thought of me.
I am the best thing
to ever come outta this town.
So clap your hands
and tip your hat,
bend your knee
because I am the Goddess of Hostility.
- Damn right!
Dystopia for life!
[STACI] Traitor!
- I love that chick.
- [LUCY] She's the best.
[EDDIE] Crystal Tyler, still undefeated,
ladies and gentlemen.
She came, she saw, she conquered.
- [CRYSTAL] Oh, I'm sorry!
- She took the task.
Well done.
[WILLIE] Tag team, you're up.
Come on, Diego.
- [DIEGO] Whoo hoo hoo!
- [STACI] Go, Diego.
[EDDIE] Gave him a chest full
to The Hole.
Oh, The Hole is not a nice man.

[BOBBY PIN] Ah, and a head
by the Coconut!
[WRESTLER] Let's go, Diego!
[EDDIE] He's tryin' for the tag.
Oh, but he's cut down!
That's a cheap shot from behind.
He's takin' his mask off! Now, come on!
[BOBBY PIN] You do not
do that to a Luchador!
Oh, and he's furious!
Diego Cottonmouth is furious.
Go, Diego!
A big Snake slam. Go down!
denied by Wild Bill Hancock!
[BOBBY PIN] Win for Diego Cottonmouth
and Wild Bill Hancock.
Two snakeskin covered boys
there, lemme tell ya.
- Drink it in.
- Yeah!
Yeah, when they cheer,
they love ya. Whoo!
[EDDIE] And these fans are ecstatic.
They are having the time of their lives.
This is quite a night
here in the Duffy Dome.
[DEBBIE] They're ready
for ya, Mr. Gully.
[GULLY] Okay.
[EDDIE] Fabulous win for the DWL,
curtesy of Diego Cottonmouth
and Wild Bill Hancock.
So now, it all comes down
to the main event
for this battle of grand supremacy.


[EDDIE] And there he is,
the DWL turncoat and
current FWD world champion,
Rooster Robbins.
- And he is accompanied
- Hate me!
[EDDIE] By the CEO and founder
of the Florida Wrestling Dystopia,
the self-anointed
God of Chaos, Charlie Gully.
Get 'em.
[BOBBY PIN] Gully and Rooster's
unbridled obsession
with The Condamned has all led
to this moment, Eddie.
All their chips are in.
Ladies and gentlemen, are you
ready for tonight's main event?
We are.
I'm here.
Rooster Robbins, FWD champ,
he's right here.
All we need is an opponent,
so where's your hero now, Duffy?
[SINGSONG] Oh, Condamned.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Condamned, Condamned,
Condamned, Condamned, Condamned
Shut up!
If The Condamned don't want
to come out and play,
I don't want to spend one more second
in this tired-ass town.
All y'all be quiet.
Now, what I'ma do
is I'ma take my title
and I'ma go home!
[EDDIE] Uh-oh.
Believe me, we paid
for the electric bill.
This is just effect,
ladies and gentlemen.
You lookin' up for
a zipline or whatever
Condamned, Condamned,
Condamned, Condamned, Condamned
Condamned, show yourself!
[BOBBY PIN] Ha ha ha.
The Condamned is in the house!
The only way to defeat your opponent
in the last man standing match
is to incapacitate him
long enough to keep him off his feet
while the referee counts to ten.
- Incapacitation?
Last match, anything goes.
This entire dome is their playing field.
No time-outs, no disqualifications.
Come on, Condamned!
[EDDIE] We are under way,
ladies and gentlemen.
- Oh-ho!
Nice swing, Dad.
[BOBBY PIN] This is despicable, Eddie.
[EDDIE] That is so cheap.
So cheap, Gully.
Aw, now they're all in the ring.
Let's have no rules, shall we?
This is absolute bedlam!
- Start the count.
- [EDDIE] Come on, now!
[BOBBY PIN] This this is
so far away from fair, Eddie.
This is just hard to watch.
- You wanna be their saviour?
I'll treat you like one.
String him up, boys.
[BOBBY PIN] This is a new definition
of low blow here, Eddie.
[EDDIE] Oh! That is not right.
[GULLY] Do it.
You wanna put out the last
flicker of hope in this town
finish The Condamned.
- No!
- You're a scumbag, Gully.
Come on, Rooster. Play fair.

[EDDIE] If you know any
prayers, say 'em fast.

- [EDDIE] Oh!
- Don't do it.
[BOBBY PIN] And it's Crystal Tyler.
We signed up to be wrestlers,
not whatever this is.
- You listen to her!
- Don't do it, Rooster.

Don't listen to them.
Do it.
I have given you both everything.
You gotta finish him off right now.

I don't wanna win this way.
I'm done taking your blood money.
[GULLY] Where are you going?
Get back here.

Finish the job!
[CRYSTAL] Hey, Gully.
It's over.
Oh, my God!
[BOBBY PIN] I cannot believe this,
two traitors coming back home
and saving their old family.
[EDDIE] What a turn of events, folks.
Crystal Tyler and Rooster Robbins
just up and quit the FWD in
the middle of a title match.
We got another guest at the party.
There he is, Jack Spade!
Jack Spade's comin' in to save the day!
[EDDIE] Scared 'em outta the ring.
All right, here we go.
Hey, Duffy,
sometimes in business
when you wanna get things done,
you gotta do 'em yourself.
Isn't that right
[EDDIE] Oh, my God! Partner?
- No!
- [BOBBY PIN] Eddie,
what does he mean, partner?
Take that. What do you think
about this, Duffy?
[BOBBY PIN] This is just
despicable, Eddie.
This is Duffy's own Benedict Arnold.
You know, it's times like this
that I wish this was all fake.
I been working with Charlie Gully
this whole time!
- You see,
lotta you assume that I'm
just like my late father,
the great King Spade.
That I'd do anything for Duffy.
Anything to keep the DWL alive,
but the truth is,
I hope the DWL dies
just like our coward of a father.
- Charlie Gully
he helped me realise
that the only thing
holding Jack Spade back
was all of you. You idiots.
I decided to sell the DWL to
Charlie Gully!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Yes, yes!
Is that true? That's not true.
I was this close
I was this close to cashin' in
before you rode back into town.
Now, you call yourself The Condamned,
but y'all can see
that's just my little
baby brother Ace Spade
hell-bent on saving the DWL.
Well, brother, it is time
for me to put you down
and put an end to our father's
- pathetic legacy.
Tonight's last man standing match
is now The Condamned
Versus me.
And if you win,
if you win, you take the DWL.
You keep it all for yourself.
I'll leave Duffy forever.
But when I win,
when that referee counts to ten,
me and Gully, we're gonna burn
this bitch to the ground.
This right here, is still my promotion.
- Ring the Goddamn bell.
That bell now makes this match official.
But the last man standing match
is now between
The Condamned and Jack Spade, Eddie.
This is horrible!
Oh, shit. Let's get outta here.
[EDDIE] Well, here comes
the cavalry, for God's sake.
I was wondering where they been.
There musta been some helluva
buffet in the locker room
to keep these guys away this long,
but here they are.
Takin' names and kickin' ass.
That's great.

Jack, Jack!
Oh, you'd like to get up? Get down now.
You ready to go like
you never gone before?
Yeah, let's tear the house down.
Hey, here's your Condamned. Watch this.
[EDDIE] Cheap shots!
- [PERSON] Ah, come on!
[EDDIE] Can The Condamned even get up?
[BOBBY PIN] Jack Spade showing
no respect for The Condamned
or wrestling at all.
- [GULLY] Oh!
- [EDDIE] Another cheap shot
to the midsection that's not
[ALL] Oh!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it's too much!
[EDDIE] This is some sibling rivalry
- like you don't wanna see.
- [REFEREE] One.
[EDDIE] Wow, it's a real
chair, I didn't
- I'm burning
this dome down!
I'm Jack Spade!
This is my town.


Son of a bitch!
[EDDIE] There is no love
lost between these two!
This crowd loves it!
[JACK] Aah!
[EDDIE] And The Condamned
gettin' some cheapness in
on his own time.
Well, I was a little brother myself.
I like to see this kinda stuff.

[ACE] Aah!
We have to take this farther.
Then you sell out for the whole fight.
[ACE] Sell the shit outta this, brother.
- [EDDIE] Ooh!
That's a big pole.
Now somebody's gonna have to
get the boo-boo boys.
[BOBBY PIN] What's he gonna
do with that, Eddie?
[EDDIE] He's gonna bring
him up, and then
onto the table! Ha ha!
Time to ring the bell!
Ace, don't do it! That's your brother.
Don't do that, man.
[EDDIE] That is
the moral compass himself.
Come on. Get him.
[GULLY] Gah!
[EDDIE] Come on, take-take some
beard, while you're at it.
- Ohh
[CHARLIE] Oh! Ha ha ha!
Take that, pal. Get him, Jack.
What is Jack Spade gonna do
with that table?
He's not setting it for
his brother, that's for sure.
He's got bad intent.
He's not getting a Christmas card
from Annie and I this year.
[BOBBY PIN] It looks like
The Condamned is losing steam!
[ACE] Ooh!
What an asshole, man.
[EDDIE] Where does find the strength
to be climbing up there now?
[EDDIE] Oh, he's
he's going up to the top
of the entryway.

[BOBBIE] Eddie, whatever's about
to happen cannot be good!
Oh, he's ripped off that cheap shirt.
- Well, that's a start.
- [PERSON] That's right, baby.
Come on, Jack.
- [BOBBY PIN] Oh, my God!
- [EDDIE] Oh, no!
Here goes the bomb!
- Oh!
- Oh!
[LAUGHING] Holy shit.
[BOBBY PIN] Somebody call the ambulance!
[EDDIE] The town of Duffy
hasn't seen this much carnage
since they passed prohibition.
[ALL] Two
[BOBBY PIN] And neither
competitor is getting up.
[ALL] Five
[BOBBY PIN] I don't believe it!
They're back on their feet, Ed.
[JACK] Time to go home, little brother.
[ACE] Followin' your lead, Jack.
[JACK] Blow the roof off this joint.
Go get him, Jack!
- Whoo.
- Let's go.

Jack Spade is down!
The Condamned might win this thing.
[BOBBY PIN] Jack Spade is down.
- The Condamned
- Oh, my goodness!
[EDDIE] Look at that!
Into his knees!
Nice job, Jack.
Get up, get up, get up!
Get yourself up, Jack. Come on.
[BOBBY PIN] Two brothers exhausted.
Go, Ace!
Keep on selling it. Follow my lead.
[JACK] One more move
to impress Jen Lucié.
- Come on, Jack.
- [BOBBY PIN] Jack Spade
has gotten to his feet.
Jack, stand up! Stay up.
What the fuck, Jack?
Surprise, surprise.
Jack isn't sticking to the script.
They're just feeling the crowd out.
Yeah, "feeling the crowd out" my ass.
They do what they wanna do.
They can't help it.
[GULLY] Jack, what the hell you doing?
Watch this!
Oh, my God.
Jack, what the fuck?

Finish him off.
- Oh!
- Ohh!
Whoo! Yes, Jack.
- Whoo!
- Yes!
[EDDIE] It was a Shooting Star Press!
[BOBBY PIN] Jack Spade has just
pulled off one of the most
difficult moves in all of wrestling
to keep The Condamned down.
All right, nice move, Jack.
[ALL] One
[EDDIE] Which one of these warriors
is gonna get up first?
Thanks for telling me
I could wrestle, Jack.
- [ALL] Two.
- All right, come on, Jack.
[ALL] Three.
It's your turn to win, Ace.
Get up.
You know what? It doesn't matter.
All that matters is that
we both got over, Jack.
- Stick to the script.
- [ALL] Four.
People are here for The Condamned.
Not Jack Spade. Get up.
[ALL] Five.
Get up. It's what the crowd wants.
Start selling it.
Jack, Gully'll put us out of business.
[ALL] Six.
Start getting up, Jack.
Start sellin' it.
It's always something with this family.
It's never nothin'.
Not now, Jack.
Get up, Jack.
Get up, Jack.
Jack, get up.
I can't.
What do you mean?
I'm hurt.
[ACE] What?
- [ALL] Eight.
- What an incredible night.
Get up at nine, okay?
You sell the shit out of it.
We did this. We did it.
Get up, Jack.
Sit down, Ace. Get back down.
- Get down.
- [ALL] Nine.
[GULLY] Get the fuck down.
- Fuck you, Ace!
- Ten.
[GULLY] Fuck you Jack!
Fuck you, Jack.
I'll fucking kill you, motherfucker.
[EDDIE] The Condamned has risen.
The Condamned has won it for the DWL.
The Condamned has risen!
The Condamned
is your Harmageddon champion.
The DWL wins Harmageddon.
[SOFTLY] Son of a bitch.

Shoulda listened, Jack!
Ya shoulda listened.

Jack, honey, why didn't you get up?
I can't feel my legs.

[EDDIE] Well, there you have it.
Another great night from Duffy, Georgia,
the cradle of wrestling.
For everybody at the DWL,
this is Eddie Earl
wishing you a good night.

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