Henry Danger (2014) s01e10 Episode Script

Henry the Man-Beast

1 [ MUSIC .]
HEY, CHAR! LOOK AT ME.
HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY OUTFIT? DID YOUR MOM TELL YOU IT LOOKED GOOD? YEAH.
SHE LIED.
SHE LIED HARD.
NO.
TONIGHT, ME AND HENRY ARE GOING TO GLOW-N-BOWL.
MM-HMM.
FOR BOWLING IN THE DARK.
CAN I GO NOW? NO, YOU GOT TO SEE WHAT MY OUTFIT DOES.
HEY, SPOD, KILL THE LIGHTS! LOOK, I'M LUMINESCENT.
LUMINESCENT.
LUMINESCENT.
I'M LU, LU, LU, LUMINESCENT.
WOO.
CHARLOTTE? HEY, SPOD, TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON! OH, HEY, MAN.
WHY WOULD YOU WEAR THA IN PUBLIC? IT'S MY GLOW-IN-THE-DARK BOWLING OUTFIT FOR TONIGHT.
OH, OKAY.
AND I GOT US GLOW-IN-THE-DARK BALLS, TOO.
IT'S GOING TO BE GLOW-IN-THE-DARK BALLS, TOO.
IT'S GOING TO BE A CRAZY NIGHT.
IT'S GOING TO BE A CRAZY NIGHT.
SO CRAZY.
A CRAZY NIGHT.
SO CRAZY.
CRAZY.
HEY, HENRY? OH, HEY.
WHAT'S UP? CAN I ASK CHLOE OU ON A DATE? CAN I ASK CHLOE OU ON A DATE? OOH, HERE WE GO.
YOU WANT TO ASK OUT CHLOE? WELL, YEAH.
I MEAN, COME ON, WELL, YEAH.
I MEAN, COME ON, YOU HAVEN'T HUNG OUT WITH HER I MEAN, COME ON, YOU HAVEN'T HUNG OUT WITH HER IN MONTHS.
YOU HAVEN'T HUNG OUT WITH HER IN MONTHS.
SHE'S NOT YOUR PROPERTY.
IN MONTHS.
SHE'S NOT YOUR PROPERTY.
DID I SAY CHLOE SHE'S NOT YOUR PROPERTY.
DID I SAY CHLOE WAS MY PROPERTY? DID I SAY CHLOE WAS MY PROPERTY? YOU SAY IT WITH YOUR EYES.
WAS MY PROPERTY? YOU SAY IT WITH YOUR EYES.
WHATEVER.
YOU SAY IT WITH YOUR EYES.
WHATEVER.
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
YEAH, SURE.
GO AHEAD, ASK HER OUT.
YEAH, SURE.
GO AHEAD, ASK HER OUT.
I DON'T CARE.
GO AHEAD, ASK HER OUT.
I DON'T CARE.
AWESOME.
WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING VIDEO? I THOUGHT YOU AND SIDNEY WERE GOING TO FIGHT.
I THOUGHT YOU AND SIDNEY WERE GOING TO FIGHT.
MAYBE YOU AND ME WERE GOING TO FIGHT.
MAYBE YOU AND ME ARE GOING TO FIGHT.
MAYBE YOU AND ME ARE GOING TO FIGHT.
TEACHER! WHAT? NO WAY.
GOT TO GO.
NO WAY.
GOT TO GO.
OH, HEY, CHLOE.
GOT TO GO.
OH, HEY, CHLOE.
HENRY.
OH, HEY, CHLOE.
HENRY.
I HENRY.
I BROUGHT YOU THIS COFFEE MUG.
I BROUGHT YOU THIS COFFEE MUG.
THANKS.
BROUGHT YOU THIS COFFEE MUG.
THANKS.
IT SAYS "WORLD'S GREATEST MOM.
" NO, IT SAYS "WORLD'S GREATEST WOW.
" THANKS, BUT I DON'T REALLY DRINK COFFEE.
OKAY.
BUT I DON'T REALLY DRINK COFFEE.
OKAY.
I REALLY JUST WANTED OKAY.
I REALLY JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.
I REALLY JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.
WELL, THERE'S A TWIST.
TO TALK TO YOU.
WELL, THERE'S A TWIST.
WHAT? WELL, THERE'S A TWIST.
WHAT? YOU'VE BEEN TOO BUSY WHAT? YOU'VE BEEN TOO BUSY TO TALK TO ME EVER SINCE YOU'VE BEEN TOO BUSY TO TALK TO ME EVER SINCE YOU GOT A PART-TIME JOB TO TALK TO ME EVER SINCE YOU GOT A PART-TIME JOB AT THAT GARBAGE STORE.
YOU GOT A PART-TIME JOB AT THAT GARBAGE STORE.
IT'S NOT A GARBAGE STORE.
AT THAT GARBAGE STORE.
IT'S NOT A GARBAGE STORE.
OH, SORRY.
IT'S NOT A GARBAGE STORE.
OH, SORRY.
JUNK.
OH, SORRY.
JUNK.
N-STUFF.
JUNK.
N-STUFF.
COME ON.
N-STUFF.
COME ON.
I'M NOT BUSY NOW.
COME ON.
I'M NOT BUSY NOW.
NO, HENRY.
I'M NOT BUSY NOW.
NO, HENRY.
I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR IT.
NO, HENRY.
I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR IT.
FALL FOR WHAT? I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR IT.
FALL FOR WHAT? YOUR WOW MUG.
FALL FOR WHAT? YOUR WOW MUG.
THE CUTE LITTLE SMILE.
YOUR WOW MUG.
THE CUTE LITTLE SMILE.
AW, COME ON.
THE CUTE LITTLE SMILE.
AW, COME ON.
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
AW, COME ON.
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
PLEASE? GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
PLEASE? OKAY.
PLEASE? OKAY.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE OKAY.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER TONIGHT? DO YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER TONIGHT? TONIGHT? DINNER TONIGHT? TONIGHT? TONIGHT ME AND JASPER TONIGHT? TONIGHT ME AND JASPER ARE SUPPOSED TO GO BOWLING.
TONIGHT ME AND JASPER ARE SUPPOSED TO GO BOWLING.
YEAH, I KNEW IT.
ARE SUPPOSED TO GO BOWLING.
YEAH, I KNEW IT.
WAIT! WAIT.
YEAH, I KNEW IT.
WAIT! WAIT.
TONIGHT WORKS GREAT.
WAIT! WAIT.
TONIGHT WORKS GREAT.
REALLY? TONIGHT WORKS GREAT.
REALLY? YEP.
REALLY? YEP.
JUST YOU AND ME, YEP.
JUST YOU AND ME, DINNER WHEREVER YOU WANT.
JUST YOU AND ME, DINNER WHEREVER YOU WANT.
CAN WE GO TO SOTTO VOCE? DINNER WHEREVER YOU WANT.
CAN WE GO TO SOTTO VOCE? OOH, LASAGNA.
CAN WE GO TO SOTTO VOCE? OOH, LASAGNA.
I'LL MEET YOU THERE AT 7:00.
OOH, LASAGNA.
I'LL MEET YOU THERE AT 7:00.
YEAH YOU WILL.
YEAH, THAT HAPPENED.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
WHO CALL ME THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
WHO CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE WHO CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN.
YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
CAPTAIN MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
FEELS GOOD.
CALL IT.
UP THE TUBE! OH, MY BOOT.
AH! MAN, HOW COME WE HAVE TO ORGANIZE THE STUPID STORAGE ROOM? SHOULDN'T RAY BE DOING THIS? I DON'T KNOW.
JUST TELL ME WHAT THAT IS SO I CAN WRITE IT DOWN.
IT'S A BIG HEAVY THING WITH THINGS ON IT.
GREAT.
ANOTHER BIG THING THAT'S A THING WITH THINGS ON IT.
AH, WHATEVER.
[ BUZZ .]
[ GRUNTING .]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? RAY SAID NOT TO MESS WITH THIS STUFF.
RAY SAID NOT TO MESS WITH THIS STUFF.
I WASN'T MESSING WITH IT.
NOT TO MESS WITH THIS STUFF.
I WASN'T MESSING WITH IT.
I JUST LEANED ON IT.
I WASN'T MESSING WITH IT.
I JUST LEANED ON IT.
NO.
YOU'RE WRONG.
I JUST LEANED ON IT.
NO.
YOU'RE WRONG.
GIVE IT UP, SCHWOZ.
NO.
YOU'RE WRONG.
GIVE IT UP, SCHWOZ.
THE ANSWER IS WILD MONKEYS.
GIVE IT UP, SCHWOZ.
THE ANSWER IS WILD MONKEYS.
IT'S NOT THAT.
THE ANSWER IS WILD MONKEYS.
IT'S NOT THAT.
WELL, I TOLD YOU WRONG.
IT'S NOT THAT.
WELL, I TOLD YOU WRONG.
THE ANSWER IS SOUP.
WELL, I TOLD YOU WRONG.
THE ANSWER IS SOUP.
WELL, I DISAGREE.
THE ANSWER IS SOUP.
WELL, I DISAGREE.
OKAY, LET'S ASK THEM.
WELL, I DISAGREE.
OKAY, LET'S ASK THEM.
ASK US WHAT? OKAY, LET'S ASK THEM.
ASK US WHAT? IF YOU KIDS HAD TO CHOOSE, ASK US WHAT? IF YOU KIDS HAD TO CHOOSE, WOULD YOU RATHER IF YOU KIDS HAD TO CHOOSE, WOULD YOU RATHER BE EATEN BY WILD MONKEYS.
WOULD YOU RATHER BE EATEN BY WILD MONKEYS.
OR YOU GET BOILED BE EATEN BY WILD MONKEYS.
OR YOU GET BOILED IN A BIG POT OF SOUP.
OR YOU GET BOILED IN A BIG POT OF SOUP.
WHAT KIND OF SOUP? IN A BIG POT OF SOUP.
WHAT KIND OF SOUP? [ BUZZING .]
WHAT KIND OF SOUP? [ BUZZING .]
UGH, GOOCH NEEDS ME.
[ BUZZING .]
UGH, GOOCH NEEDS ME.
I'LL BE BACK DOWN IN A SEC.
UGH, GOOCH NEEDS ME.
I'LL BE BACK DOWN IN A SEC.
HEY, RAY, I'LL BE BACK DOWN IN A SEC.
HEY, RAY, CAN WE FINISH GOING THROUGH HEY, RAY, CAN WE FINISH GOING THROUGH ALL THIS STUFF TOMORROW?HY CAN WE FINISH GOING THROUGH ALL THIS STUFF TOMORROW?HY IT'S ONLY FIVE O'CLOCK.
ALL THIS STUFF TOMORROW?HY IT'S ONLY FIVE O'CLOCK.
I KNOW, BUT IT'S ONLY FIVE O'CLOCK.
I KNOW, BUT HE WANTS TO LEAVE EARLY-- I KNOW, BUT HE WANTS TO LEAVE EARLY-- DON'T TELL THEM.
HE WANTS TO LEAVE EARLY-- DON'T TELL THEM.
OKAY.
DON'T TELL THEM.
OKAY.
HENRY'S GOT A DATE! OKAY.
HENRY'S GOT A DATE! AW, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO-- IT'S NOT A DATE.
I BET IT IS.
YOU GOING TO WEAR I BET IT IS.
YOU GOING TO WEAR YOUR FANCIEST PANTS? YOU GOING TO WEAR YOUR FANCIEST PANTS? CAN I KNOCK OFF EARLY OR NOT? YOUR FANCIEST PANTS? CAN I KNOCK OFF EARLY OR NOT? YEAH SURE, TAKE OFF, KID.
CAN I KNOCK OFF EARLY OR NOT? YEAH SURE, TAKE OFF, KID.
THANKS.
YEAH SURE, TAKE OFF, KID.
THANKS.
HEY, WHERE YOU GOING THANKS.
HEY, WHERE YOU GOING TO TAKE HER? HEY, WHERE YOU GOING TO TAKE HER? TO DINNER AT SOTTO VOCE.
TO TAKE HER? TO DINNER AT SOTTO VOCE.
OOH, SOTTO VOCE.
TO DINNER AT SOTTO VOCE.
OOH, SOTTO VOCE.
HOW CAN YOU AFFORD OOH, SOTTO VOCE.
HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A PLACE LIKE THAT? HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A PLACE LIKE THAT? BECAUSE I TOOK A PLACE LIKE THAT? BECAUSE I TOOK A HUNDRED BUCKS BECAUSE I TOOK A HUNDRED BUCKS OUT OF YOUR WALLET.
A HUNDRED BUCKS OUT OF YOUR WALLET.
WHAT? OUT OF YOUR WALLET.
WHAT? UP THE TUBE! HEY.
WHAT IS THIS MACHINE? DID I MAKE THIS? WHAT IS THIS MACHINE? DID I MAKE THIS? NO, MY FATHER MADE THA DID I MAKE THIS? NO, MY FATHER MADE THA A LONG TIME AGO.
NO, MY FATHER MADE THA A LONG TIME AGO.
WHAT THIS DO? A LONG TIME AGO.
WHAT THIS DO? WELL, IT WAS SUPPOSED WHAT THIS DO? WELL, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME STRONGER, WELL, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME STRONGER, MORE POWERFUL, YOU KNOW, TO MAKE ME STRONGER, MORE POWERFUL, YOU KNOW, MANLIER.
MORE POWERFUL, YOU KNOW, MANLIER.
SO IT DIDN'T WORK.
MANLIER.
SO IT DIDN'T WORK.
IT WAS NEVER TESTED ON ME.
SO IT DIDN'T WORK.
IT WAS NEVER TESTED ON ME.
WE TESTED IT ON MY NERDY COUSIN.
IT WAS NEVER TESTED ON ME.
WE TESTED IT ON MY NERDY COUSIN.
SO, DID IT MAKE HIM MANLY? WE TESTED IT ON MY NERDY COUSIN.
SO, DID IT MAKE HIM MANLY? IT MADE HIM TOO MANLY.
SO, DID IT MAKE HIM MANLY? IT MADE HIM TOO MANLY.
OOH.
IT MADE HIM TOO MANLY.
OOH.
THE EFFECTS OOH.
THE EFFECTS STARTED OFF SLOWLY, THE EFFECTS STARTED OFF SLOWLY, BUT A FEW DAYS LATER STARTED OFF SLOWLY, BUT A FEW DAYS LATER HE WAS LESS OF A MAN BUT A FEW DAYS LATER HE WAS LESS OF A MAN OH? HE WAS LESS OF A MAN OH? MORE OF A BEAST.
OH? MORE OF A BEAST.
OH.
[ GRUNTING .]
HEY.
HEY! DID I SAY YOU COULD COME IN MY ROOM? DID I SAY YOU COULD COME IN MY ROOM? DID I ASK? COME IN MY ROOM? DID I ASK? I JUST NEED A PAIR OF SCISSORS DID I ASK? I JUST NEED A PAIR OF SCISSORS TO OPEN MY NEW PHONE CASE.
I JUST NEED A PAIR OF SCISSORS TO OPEN MY NEW PHONE CASE.
HERE, JUST GIVE IT.
TO OPEN MY NEW PHONE CASE.
HERE, JUST GIVE IT.
GROSS, DON'T USE YOUR TEETH.
HERE'S YOUR PHONE CASE.
WELL, NOW YOUR HAND IS BLEEDING.
WELL, NOW YOUR HAND IS BLEEDING.
OH.
YEAH.
TASTES GOOD.
GROSS.
WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? GROSS.
WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? NOTHING.
WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? NOTHING.
NOW, GET OUT OF MY ROOM.
NOTHING.
NOW, GET OUT OF MY ROOM.
I GOT TO FINISH MY WORKOUT.
NOW, GET OUT OF MY ROOM.
I GOT TO FINISH MY WORKOUT.
I GOT PLANS TONIGHT.
WHOA.
WHEN DID YOU GROW THOSE FURBALLS UNDER YOUR ARMS? WHEN DID YOU GROW THOSE FURBALLS UNDER YOUR ARMS? HUH? UNDER YOUR ARMS? HUH? I DON'T KNOW.
HUH? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I LIKE THEM.
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I LIKE THEM.
[ GRUNTING .]
[ SCREAM .]
[ ELEVATOR DINGS .]
HERE'S YOUR COFFEE.
THANK YOU? SO WHAT WE GOING TO DO WITH THIS MANLY MACHINE? WHAT WE GOING TO DO WITH THIS MANLY MACHINE? OH YEAH.
WITH THIS MANLY MACHINE? OH YEAH.
THAT THING IS MAJORLY DANGEROUS.
OH YEAH.
THAT THING IS MAJORLY DANGEROUS.
WE BETTER DESTROY IT.
THAT THING IS MAJORLY DANGEROUS.
WE BETTER DESTROY IT.
OR I GUESS WE COULD WE BETTER DESTROY IT.
OR I GUESS WE COULD DONATE IT TO A SCHOOL.
OR I GUESS WE COULD DONATE IT TO A SCHOOL.
HEY DONATE IT TO A SCHOOL.
HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THING IS DANGEROUS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THING IS DANGEROUS? WELL, IT WAS DESIGNED THAT THING IS DANGEROUS? WELL, IT WAS DESIGNED TO MAKE PEOPLE STRONGER, WELL, IT WAS DESIGNED TO MAKE PEOPLE STRONGER, MORE POWERFUL, AND MANLIER, TO MAKE PEOPLE STRONGER, MORE POWERFUL, AND MANLIER, BUT IT GOES TOO FAR.
MORE POWERFUL, AND MANLIER, BUT IT GOES TOO FAR.
TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT IT DID BUT IT GOES TOO FAR.
TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT IT DID TO MY COUSIN ELLIOT.
EW.
NO, THAT'S A BEFORE PICTURE.
OH.
NO, THAT'S A BEFORE PICTURE.
OH.
HERE'S WHAT ELLIO OH.
HERE'S WHAT ELLIO LOOKED LIKE A WEEK AFTER MY DAD HERE'S WHAT ELLIO LOOKED LIKE A WEEK AFTER MY DAD TESTED THIS MACHINE ON HIM.
LOOKED LIKE A WEEK AFTER MY DAD TESTED THIS MACHINE ON HIM.
YAH.
TESTED THIS MACHINE ON HIM.
YAH.
YEP.
YAH.
YEP.
HE TURNED INTO A MAN-BEAST.
YEP.
HE TURNED INTO A MAN-BEAST.
HE LOOKS LIKE MY SISTER.
HE TURNED INTO A MAN-BEAST.
HE LOOKS LIKE MY SISTER.
YOUR SISTER WISHES.
HE LOOKS LIKE MY SISTER.
YOUR SISTER WISHES.
SHE IS AN ANIMAL.
YOUR SISTER WISHES.
SHE IS AN ANIMAL.
SHE SMELLS LIKE A HORSE.
SHE IS AN ANIMAL.
SHE SMELLS LIKE A HORSE.
GUYS! SHE SMELLS LIKE A HORSE.
GUYS! YOU GUYS! GUYS! YOU GUYS! WHAT? YOU GUYS! WHAT? YEAH? WHAT? YEAH? HENRY ACCIDENTALLY YEAH? HENRY ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED THAT MACHINE.
HENRY ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED THAT MACHINE.
HE TOUCHED THAT MACHINE.
HE HE TURNED IT ON? HE HE TURNED IT ON? HE DIDN'T MEAN TO.
HE TURNED IT ON? HE DIDN'T MEAN TO.
HIS HAND JUST HI HE DIDN'T MEAN TO.
HIS HAND JUST HI ONE OF THOSE BUTTONS HIS HAND JUST HI ONE OF THOSE BUTTONS AND IT WENT ALL ONE OF THOSE BUTTONS AND IT WENT ALL BZZ.
BZZ.
AND IT WENT ALL BZZ.
BZZ.
UH-OH.
BZZ.
BZZ.
UH-OH.
DID YOU SEE HENRY UH-OH.
DID YOU SEE HENRY START TO SHOW ANY SIGNS OF DID YOU SEE HENRY START TO SHOW ANY SIGNS OF EXAGGERATED MANLINESS? START TO SHOW ANY SIGNS OF EXAGGERATED MANLINESS? I'M EXAGGERATED MANLINESS? I'M I'M NOT SURE.
I'M I'M NOT SURE.
WELL, WHERE IS HE? I'M NOT SURE.
WELL, WHERE IS HE? HE'S HAVING DINNER WELL, WHERE IS HE? HE'S HAVING DINNER WITH A GIRL AT SOTTO VOCE.
HE'S HAVING DINNER WITH A GIRL AT SOTTO VOCE.
OH, RIGHT.
WITH A GIRL AT SOTTO VOCE.
OH, RIGHT.
I HEAR OH, RIGHT.
I HEAR THEY HAVE GOOD PANINIS.
I HEAR THEY HAVE GOOD PANINIS.
OH, SHUT UP, SCHWOZ.
THEY HAVE GOOD PANINIS.
OH, SHUT UP, SCHWOZ.
I GOT TO GO GET HENRY OH, SHUT UP, SCHWOZ.
I GOT TO GO GET HENRY BEFORE THE SYMPTOMS I GOT TO GO GET HENRY BEFORE THE SYMPTOMS ADVANCE TOO FAR BEFORE THE SYMPTOMS ADVANCE TOO FAR AND THEY BECOME PERMANENT.
ADVANCE TOO FAR AND THEY BECOME PERMANENT.
COME WITH ME.
AND THEY BECOME PERMANENT.
COME WITH ME.
OKAY.
BYE.
UP THE TUBE.
BUH-BYE.
I REALLY SHOULD CALL MY SISTER A HORSE.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
OH, NO.
I WILL NOT EXCUSE YOU.
OH, NO.
I WILL NOT EXCUSE YOU.
I'M SORRY, I WILL NOT EXCUSE YOU.
I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BUMP INTO YOU, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BUMP INTO YOU, I WAS JUST PASSING-- I DIDN'T MEAN TO BUMP INTO YOU, I WAS JUST PASSING-- WHAT? I WAS JUST PASSING-- WHAT? YOU WANT TO SWING AT ME? WHAT? YOU WANT TO SWING AT ME? COME ON.
YOU WANT TO SWING AT ME? COME ON.
LET'S GO, MARK.
COME ON.
LET'S GO, MARK.
YEAH, GO, MARK.
LET'S GO, MARK.
YEAH, GO, MARK.
ENJOY YOUR SALAD.
HEY, HENRY.
OH, HEY, WHAT'S UP, DUDE? IS THAT OH, HEY, WHAT'S UP, DUDE? IS THAT ARE YOU GROWING A BEARD? IS THAT ARE YOU GROWING A BEARD? HUH? ARE YOU GROWING A BEARD? HUH? HUH.
HUH? HUH.
NAH.
HUH.
NAH.
I THINK I JUST NEED A SHAVE.
NAH.
I THINK I JUST NEED A SHAVE.
WOW.
I THINK I JUST NEED A SHAVE.
WOW.
WHEN DID YOU START SHAVING? WOW.
WHEN DID YOU START SHAVING? I GUESS TOMORROW MORNING.
WHEN DID YOU START SHAVING? I GUESS TOMORROW MORNING.
HEY! LET'S GET US A TABLE! I GUESS TOMORROW MORNING.
HEY! LET'S GET US A TABLE! WE HUNGRY! HEY! LET'S GET US A TABLE! WE HUNGRY! YOUNG MAN, WE HUNGRY! YOUNG MAN, THIS IS SOTTO VOCE, YOUNG MAN, THIS IS SOTTO VOCE, WOULD YOU PLEASE THIS IS SOTTO VOCE, WOULD YOU PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOICE? WOULD YOU PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOICE? YEAH, I'LL LOWER MY VOICE.
LOWER YOUR VOICE? YEAH, I'LL LOWER MY VOICE.
WE HUNGRY! YEAH! WE GOING TO GET FOOD! [ DOOR KNOCK .]
HEY, PIPER.
UGH, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
HEY, PIPER.
UGH, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK UGH, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY COOL BOWLING OUTFIT? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY COOL BOWLING OUTFIT? IT GLOWS IN THE DARK.
OF MY COOL BOWLING OUTFIT? IT GLOWS IN THE DARK.
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE IT GLOWS IN THE DARK.
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH MY BROTHER, YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH MY BROTHER, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH MY BROTHER, THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO TALK.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO TALK.
OKAY.
WE HAVE TO TALK.
OKAY.
THEN JUST TELL HENRY I'M HERE.
OKAY.
THEN JUST TELL HENRY I'M HERE.
HENRY'S GONE.
THEN JUST TELL HENRY I'M HERE.
HENRY'S GONE.
HE CAN'T BE GONE.
HENRY'S GONE.
HE CAN'T BE GONE.
WE HAVE PLANS.
HE CAN'T BE GONE.
WE HAVE PLANS.
WELL, HE GOT BETTER PLANS.
WE HAVE PLANS.
WELL, HE GOT BETTER PLANS.
WITH WHO? WELL, HE GOT BETTER PLANS.
WITH WHO? I DON'T KNOW, SOME CHICK.
WITH WHO? I DON'T KNOW, SOME CHICK.
HE TOOK HER TO DINNER I DON'T KNOW, SOME CHICK.
HE TOOK HER TO DINNER AT SOTTO VOCE.
HE TOOK HER TO DINNER AT SOTTO VOCE.
SOTTO VOCE.
AT SOTTO VOCE.
SOTTO VOCE.
YEP.
SOTTO VOCE.
YEP.
OKAY, WELL YEP.
OKAY, WELL I GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME THEN.
OKAY, WELL I GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME THEN.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
I GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME THEN.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT? WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT? YOU HAD PLANS WITH HENRY WHAT? YOU HAD PLANS WITH HENRY AND HE BLEW YOU OFF, YOU HAD PLANS WITH HENRY AND HE BLEW YOU OFF, AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE ALL, AND HE BLEW YOU OFF, AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE ALL, "OH, I GUESS AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE ALL, "OH, I GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME THEN"? "OH, I GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME THEN"? WHAT SHOULD I DO? I'LL JUST GO HOME THEN"? WHAT SHOULD I DO? I DON'T KNOW, BE A MAN? WHAT SHOULD I DO? I DON'T KNOW, BE A MAN? BUT I DON'T KNOW, BE A MAN? BUT IF I WERE YOU, BUT IF I WERE YOU, I'D RIDE MY BIKE IF I WERE YOU, I'D RIDE MY BIKE RIGHT OVER TO SOTTO VOCE, I'D RIDE MY BIKE RIGHT OVER TO SOTTO VOCE, MARCH IN THERE, RIGHT OVER TO SOTTO VOCE, MARCH IN THERE, TELL HENRY THAT HE'S RUDE, MARCH IN THERE, TELL HENRY THAT HE'S RUDE, AND THEN I'D SHOVE TELL HENRY THAT HE'S RUDE, AND THEN I'D SHOVE HIS FACE DOWN AND THEN I'D SHOVE HIS FACE DOWN RIGHT INTO HIS FOOD.
HIS FACE DOWN RIGHT INTO HIS FOOD.
YEAH.
RIGHT INTO HIS FOOD.
YEAH.
I SHOULD TEACH HIM A LESSON.
YEAH.
I SHOULD TEACH HIM A LESSON.
YEAH YOU SHOULD.
I SHOULD TEACH HIM A LESSON.
YEAH YOU SHOULD.
NOW, GET OUT OF HERE, YEAH YOU SHOULD.
NOW, GET OUT OF HERE, YOU MAKE ME SICK.
NOW, GET OUT OF HERE, YOU MAKE ME SICK.
I SHOULD BE A LIFE COACH.
AND LASAGNA FOR THE YOUNG LADY.
OH MY GOD, IT SMELLS SO GOOD.
FOR THE YOUNG LADY.
OH MY GOD, IT SMELLS SO GOOD.
YEAH, SMELL THAT.
OH MY GOD, IT SMELLS SO GOOD.
YEAH, SMELL THAT.
AND ARE YOU SURE YEAH, SMELL THAT.
AND ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT YOUR STEAK RAW? AND ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT YOUR STEAK RAW? YEAH, MAN, JUST SET IT DOWN.
YOU WANT YOUR STEAK RAW? YEAH, MAN, JUST SET IT DOWN.
YEAH.
YEAH, MAN, JUST SET IT DOWN.
YEAH.
THANKS.
YEAH.
THANKS.
I DON'T NEED THIS.
THANKS.
I DON'T NEED THIS.
OKAY.
I DON'T NEED THIS.
OKAY.
ENJOY.
OH, YEAH, SMELL THAT.
HEY, HENRY.
REMEMBER THIS GUY? BYE, JASPER.
REMEMBER THIS GUY? BYE, JASPER.
IF I WERE YOU, BYE, JASPER.
IF I WERE YOU, I'D TELL HENRY THAT HE'S RUDE, IF I WERE YOU, I'D TELL HENRY THAT HE'S RUDE, AND THEN I'D SHOVE I'D TELL HENRY THAT HE'S RUDE, AND THEN I'D SHOVE HIS FACE DOWN AND THEN I'D SHOVE HIS FACE DOWN RIGHT INTO HIS FOOD.
HIS FACE DOWN RIGHT INTO HIS FOOD.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? RIGHT INTO HIS FOOD.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? YOUR SISTER.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? YOUR SISTER.
WHAT? YOUR SISTER.
WHAT? NOW I'M GOING WHAT? NOW I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON.
ARE YOU TRYING TO PUSH HIS HEAD DOWN? YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU JUST BEEF-SLAPPED ME.
YOU WANT SOME MORE? HENRY.
YOU WANT SOME MORE? HENRY.
YOU'RE HENRY.
YOU'RE YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD.
BYE, JASPER! WOO! IS IT HOT IN HERE? WHOA, LOOK AT HENRY'S BEARD.
I KNEW IT.
IT'S THE EFFECTS OF THAT DEVICE.
I KNEW IT.
IT'S THE EFFECTS OF THAT DEVICE.
HENRY'S CHANGING.
IT'S THE EFFECTS OF THAT DEVICE.
HENRY'S CHANGING.
IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING HENRY'S CHANGING.
IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING QUICKLY, IN A FEW MORE DAYS IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING QUICKLY, IN A FEW MORE DAYS HE COULD BE A FULL-ON MAN-BEAST.
QUICKLY, IN A FEW MORE DAYS HE COULD BE A FULL-ON MAN-BEAST.
WHY CAN'T WE EVER HAVE HE COULD BE A FULL-ON MAN-BEAST.
WHY CAN'T WE EVER HAVE NORMAL PROBLEMS? WHY CAN'T WE EVER HAVE NORMAL PROBLEMS? GO GET HENRY.
NORMAL PROBLEMS? GO GET HENRY.
MAKE UP SOME REASON GO GET HENRY.
MAKE UP SOME REASON WHY HE'S GOT TO LEAVE WITH YOU.
MAKE UP SOME REASON WHY HE'S GOT TO LEAVE WITH YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
GO GET HIM.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? I FEEL BAD.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? I FEEL BAD.
HENRY REALLY LIKES CHLOE I FEEL BAD.
HENRY REALLY LIKES CHLOE AND SHE'S ALREADY MAD AT HIM.
HENRY REALLY LIKES CHLOE AND SHE'S ALREADY MAD AT HIM.
WHY? AND SHE'S ALREADY MAD AT HIM.
WHY? BECAUSE HE KEEPS WHY? BECAUSE HE KEEPS FLAKING ON HER BECAUSE HE KEEPS FLAKING ON HER BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS BUSY FLAKING ON HER BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS BUSY WORKING FOR YOU.
BECAUSE HE'S ALWAYS BUSY WORKING FOR YOU.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
WORKING FOR YOU.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I KNOW HOW TO GET HENRY OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I KNOW HOW TO GET HENRY OUT OF HERE WITHOUT CHLOE I KNOW HOW TO GET HENRY OUT OF HERE WITHOUT CHLOE THINKING IT'S HIS FAULT.
OUT OF HERE WITHOUT CHLOE THINKING IT'S HIS FAULT.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? WAIT HERE.
WELL, I'M TAKING THESE MINTS.
[ SCREAMING .]
FIRE! QUICK, EVERYONE, FIRE! QUICK, EVERYONE, EXIT THE RESTAURANT! QUICK, EVERYONE, EXIT THE RESTAURANT! CAPTAIN MAN? EXIT THE RESTAURANT! CAPTAIN MAN? WOW.
CAPTAIN MAN? WOW.
SIR, YOU ARE AT SOTTO VOCE.
WOW.
SIR, YOU ARE AT SOTTO VOCE.
PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOICE.
SIR, YOU ARE AT SOTTO VOCE.
PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOICE.
SORRY.
SORRY.
PLEASE LOWER YOUR VOICE.
SORRY.
SORRY.
[ WHISPERS .]
FIRE.
SORRY.
SORRY.
[ WHISPERS .]
FIRE.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN [ WHISPERS .]
FIRE.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
FIRE.
AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
FIRE.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN FIRE.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
FIRE.
AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
FIRE.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN FIRE.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
FIRE DON'T SCARE ME.
AND EXIT THE RESTAURANT.
FIRE DON'T SCARE ME.
WELL, FIRE DO SCARE ME.
FIRE DON'T SCARE ME.
WELL, FIRE DO SCARE ME.
THANKS FOR COMING.
WELL, FIRE DO SCARE ME.
THANKS FOR COMING.
WE'RE OUT OF MINTS.
THANKS FOR COMING.
WE'RE OUT OF MINTS.
APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS.
WE'RE OUT OF MINTS.
APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW [ GRUNTING .]
NUH-UH, DUDE.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ZAP ME HARDER THAN THAT.
COME ON, KID, I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
JUST DROP.
I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
JUST DROP.
SORRY.
JUST DROP.
SORRY.
THREE LITTLE LASER SHOTS SORRY.
THREE LITTLE LASER SHOTS CAN'T HURT ME.
OH, THAT DID IT.
OOH, PANINI.
[ GRUNTING .]
LET ME GO! CAN WE PLEASE HURRY UP AND GET THIS DONE? IT IS READY.
AND GET THIS DONE? IT IS READY.
PICK UP THE MEAT-BEEF.
THROW THE MEAT-BEEF.
WHAT HAPPENS NOW? WHAT THAT MACHINE DID TO HENRY, WHAT THAT MACHINE DID TO HENRY, THIS MACHINE DO THE OPPOSITE.
DID TO HENRY, THIS MACHINE DO THE OPPOSITE.
HURRY! THIS MACHINE DO THE OPPOSITE.
HURRY! I GO SPEEDY.
[ DING .]
OPEN.
WHAT HAPPENED? I FEEL SO DIFFERENT.
I NEED TO MAKE SOME ADJUSTMENTS.
HEY.
WHY DID YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER? WHY DID YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER? BECAUSE I FEEL BAD TO COME OVER? BECAUSE I FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW OUR DINNER WEN BECAUSE I FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW OUR DINNER WEN AT SOTTO VOCE.
ABOUT HOW OUR DINNER WEN AT SOTTO VOCE.
AW, WHY WOULD YOU FEEL BAD? AT SOTTO VOCE.
AW, WHY WOULD YOU FEEL BAD? JUST BECAUSE YOU ACTED AW, WHY WOULD YOU FEEL BAD? JUST BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE AN ANIMAL JUST BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE AN ANIMAL AND THEN DITCHED ME LIKE AN ANIMAL AND THEN DITCHED ME AFTER THE RESTAURAN AND THEN DITCHED ME AFTER THE RESTAURAN CAUGHT ON FIRE? AFTER THE RESTAURAN CAUGHT ON FIRE? WILL YOU PLEASE JUST COME IN CAUGHT ON FIRE? WILL YOU PLEASE JUST COME IN AND LET ME TALK TO YOU? HERE, I GOT YOU.
I DON'T NEED HELP.
HERE, JUST COME HERE.
I DON'T NEED HELP.
HERE, JUST COME HERE.
OKAY.
YEAH, I GOT IT.
HERE, JUST COME HERE.
OKAY.
YEAH, I GOT IT.
JUST SIT RIGHT HERE.
OKAY.
YEAH, I GOT IT.
JUST SIT RIGHT HERE.
I KNOW WHERE TO SIT.
JUST SIT RIGHT HERE.
I KNOW WHERE TO SIT.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
TALK TO ME.
I THE REASON I ACTED ALL CRAZY I THE REASON I ACTED ALL CRAZY AT THE RESTAURANT THE REASON I ACTED ALL CRAZY AT THE RESTAURANT YEAH? AT THE RESTAURANT YEAH? SEE, I HAD A WEIRD REACTION YEAH? SEE, I HAD A WEIRD REACTION TO THIS SPECIAL MEDICINE, SEE, I HAD A WEIRD REACTION TO THIS SPECIAL MEDICINE, THESE PILLS I TAKE FOR MY TO THIS SPECIAL MEDICINE, THESE PILLS I TAKE FOR MY MY FEET.
THESE PILLS I TAKE FOR MY MY FEET.
WHY DO YOU TAKE PILLS MY FEET.
WHY DO YOU TAKE PILLS FOR YOUR FEET? WHY DO YOU TAKE PILLS FOR YOUR FEET? BECAUSE I HAVE FOR YOUR FEET? BECAUSE I HAVE FEETAL FUNGAL SYNDROME.
BECAUSE I HAVE FEETAL FUNGAL SYNDROME.
FFS.
FEETAL FUNGAL SYNDROME.
FFS.
FFS? FFS.
FFS? THAT'S REALLY A THING? FFS? THAT'S REALLY A THING? YEAH, BUT DON'T LOOK IT UP.
THAT'S REALLY A THING? YEAH, BUT DON'T LOOK IT UP.
OKAY.
SO, NOW? YEAH, BUT DON'T LOOK IT UP.
OKAY.
SO, NOW? OH, I'M FINE NOW OKAY.
SO, NOW? OH, I'M FINE NOW BECAUSE I WENT TO SEE OH, I'M FINE NOW BECAUSE I WENT TO SEE DR.
SCHWOZBERG.
BECAUSE I WENT TO SEE DR.
SCHWOZBERG.
SEE? DR.
SCHWOZBERG.
SEE? FEEL MY FACE.
SEE? FEEL MY FACE.
NO HAIR.
FEEL MY FACE.
NO HAIR.
AND LOOK.
NO HAIR.
AND LOOK.
SMOOTH.
AND LOOK.
SMOOTH.
LOOKS GOOD.
HEY.
I'M REALLY SORRY THAT I WRECKED OUR DINNER.
I'M REALLY SORRY THAT I WRECKED OUR DINNER.
ANYWAY THAT I WRECKED OUR DINNER.
ANYWAY TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU ANYWAY TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU [ BEEPING .]
TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU [ BEEPING .]
SORRY THAT I LET YOU DOWN YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME? YEAH, OKAY.
WITH ME? YEAH, OKAY.
IT'S ME.
YEAH, OKAY.
IT'S ME.
JASPER? IT'S ME.
JASPER? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? JASPER? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GUESS WHERE I'VE BEEN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GUESS WHERE I'VE BEEN? THE SUPERMARKET.
GUESS WHERE I'VE BEEN? THE SUPERMARKET.
GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT? THE SUPERMARKET.
GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT? THIS MEAT.
GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT? THIS MEAT.
LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY THAT-- YOU JUST GOT BEEF-SLAPPED.
HARD.

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