Here and Now (2018) s01e02 Episode Script

It's Coming

1 - That was weird.
- What? - I just felt like something wanted me to see that clock.
- What wanted you to? - (WHOOSH) - Must be cool, having siblings from these like exotic - places.
- No.
(LAUGH) - So, you're picking up models now? - What are you thinking? - I don't know, I just want a - break, that's all.
- Like, you've got a great relationship, and you're still sabotaging yourself.
- You don't know anything about relationships, dude, because being in one includes having sex.
- Wow.
- How often do you hook up? - How often do you? - I'm 17, dumb ass, like, never.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- We are here to celebrate the birth of my husband, Greg.
(CHEERING) - I look back on this experiment that is our family.
And I wonder, did any of it - make any difference? - Fuck! Ramon.
(DISTORTED AUDIO) - This hallucinating, - WOMAN: Ramon! - Ramon.
- Who is that woman - in the picture? - What picture? My mother.
Why? (TEXT ON SCREEN) I told you 20 years ago we should've known more about his family's medical history.
Of which there was no record.
But you were the one who fought against me People at the orphanage didn't even know what village he was from.
In the end, I just gave up like I always do.
What? When have you ever given up? You were the one who wanted to take him out of Colombia and bring him back to the States because he was running a fever of 103.
Do you not remember that? Or does that not fit in with your carefully constructed world in which you're never wrong? RAMON: She was wearing the same sunglasses and that same bathing suit, and that kid was there too.
And then and then she she looked at me, and she said, "Dah-rah me-odd.
" - "Dareh miyad"? - Yeah, that.
Oh shit, and then she took her hand Do you know what that means, "Dareh miyad"? No, I don't even know what fucking language that is.
Okay, Doctor, I (SIGHS) I can't call you "Doctor," 'cause sometimes people call my dad "Doctor," and it always makes me wanna laugh.
You can call me Fred.
You don't seem like a Fred.
My name is Farid, so "Fred.
" Why did you anglicize your name? - It's just easier for some patients? - What, racist patients? I understand you were under the influence of cannabis at the time you saw the fire.
- Yeah, so? - There have been instances of marijuana causing visual anomalies in some patients.
I've been getting high since I was 14, Fred.
That was not being high.
- Could it be sleep deprivation? - No! No.
Something is trying to communicate with me.
I'd like you to close your eyes, Ramon.
(SIGHS) Now, picture the number 11:11.
Actually see the numerals.
Does that make you think of anything? Computer codes.
You know, binary only without the zeros.
FARID: Okay.
Is there a specific relationship between the numerals? Do they make part of a phone number or RAMON: No, just one, one, one, one.
Look, how the fuck did your mom get in my dream? I mean, what what is that? I don't know.
I read about porous mind.
Do you think that's possible? - I've seen a couple of - You're that kid, right? In the picture? RAMON: You looked at me in the dream.
(SOUND DISTORTS) "Dareh miyad"? What does it mean? I don't know, Ramon.
I think you should stop using weed for a while and it's imperative you be getting proper sleep and nutrition, and I would avoid any situations that might provoke undue anxiety for you.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES) MAN: What are some ways The Scarlet Letter is relevant today? ROBB: Uh, some people still have sex, and other people still freak out about it.
- (KIDS LAUGH) - MAN: That's good.
ROBB: Yeah, like all these people who hate gays just because two guys having sex doesn't fit their narrow definition of what sex should be.
Gays are totally the scarlet letter of today.
Not really.
Maybe 20 years ago.
Now it's trans people.
Or Muslims.
- KRISTEN: Slut-shaming.
- MAN: Okay.
I mean, the patriarchy has always been threatened by women who enjoy sex and don't apologize for it.
For some reason, that terrifies people, so they slut-shame those women.
MAN: Interesting.
But the patriarchy really isn't a thing.
I mean, that's just code for "reverse sexism," blaming men for everything.
- White men.
- I'm sorry.
Is there something that we shouldn't be blaming them for? - (KIDS LAUGH) - TEACHER: Kristen.
Seriously? Aren't you tired of hearing about these people being exploited and these people being marginalized? That just conditions those people to think of themselves as victims.
(MOUTHS) "Those people"? Wow.
Thank you, snowflake.
(KIDS LAUGH) Which creates a lot of resentment, obviously.
- It's always white man's fault.
- Straight white men.
Okay, what, so if you blow a dude, then you're more woke up? - It's just "woke.
" - (LAUGHTER) KRISTEN: Menstrual blood Hmm has always been something to be avoided at all costs.
How many cultures make women sleep in a hut when they have their period, because blood from the vagina is just too toxic? - Jesus.
- And here is Hester Prynne, walking around with this giant red "A" on her chest like a blood stain.
Yeah, she's like a human tampon.
- Eww! - Oh, you think splooge isn't gross? - (KIDS LAUGH) - All right, Kristen, let's change course.
We wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Oh yeah, God forbid.
AUDREY: I'm not sure I trust this Dr.
It's Shokrani, Mom.
Chobani's a yogurt.
Well, I'm just afraid that if we wait too long to Drug me? - He says it's way too soon for that.
- Based on what? His general vibe seems to be, like, not make a big deal out of this and stop smoking pot.
Well, I have to say I agree with him.
You shouldn't stay up so late either.
Your entire circadian rhythm is probably off, and you spend way too much time staring at that screen.
No wonder you think you're seeing things.
RAMON: I think I'm seeing things because something is communicating with me, Mom.
That's what 11:11 means.
It's happening all over the world.
I mean, what if - What if I was chosen? - AUDREY: Sweetie.
I'm not sure ascribing to some sort of mystical force behind all this is wise.
I get that and I respect it, but I don't ever need to hear it again.
Mom, just go on the web.
It's not just me.
AUDREY: Greg, do you have anything to add? Nothing? Well, maybe the part of Ramon that sees life without filters isn't completely dead yet, and if that's the case, maybe he's lucky.
What in God's name are you talking about? I'm talking about all the fear and judgment and self-hatred that society conditions us to believe is our reality from the time we're born.
ASHLEY: Do you really think he's mentally ill? DUC: Ramon or Dad? Daddy's depressed because he's getting old, and the world is so much more fucked up than he ever thought it could be.
Which I get, yes, that is depressing.
But Ramon what the fuck was that? I mean, he saw the number 11:11 in fire.
I mean, is that really that bad? I was on some Ecstasy and I saw these weird halos everywhere.
I mean, it could be a very big deal.
And what's for sure is that Mom is freaking out.
Of course she is.
You know, she said Uncle Ike was exactly the same.
- He was this perfect guy, - Oh my God.
Then he started seeing shit.
Look, what can we do? Anything? Just be there for him if he needs us.
What? I really don't think we should be intrusive.
You know Mom's gonna be taking care of that.
Should we try to counter that somehow? - Probably.
- Okay.
Let's have a dinner and invite him.
- Hmm.
- No agenda at all.
Just fun.
Should we invite that guy from Dad's party? The beard? - Uh-huh.
- Are they a thing or was that a one-off? Let's find out.
"Huh"? I'm not sure I really like that "huh.
" Should I not like that "huh"? It looks like you've got something that could maybe become a cloud.
- (HUMMING STOPS) - A cloud? What the fuck? A protein concentration on the lenses of both eyes, which if not taken care of might become cataracts.
Are you fucking kidding me? It's been a while since your last check-up, huh? My lunatic grandmother had cataracts behind these fucking Coke-bottle glasses, it magnified her eyes, made her look like a demented owl.
- (SIGHS) - That woman terrified me.
- What do we do? - Well, we will have to wait until it reaches a certain point before insurance can cover the surgery.
- Surgery? - It's a very simple procedure.
And then my eyes will be great again afterwards? (CHUCKLES) No.
You won't see the same ever again.
But you're not seeing the same way now that you were seeing when you were a teenager.
It happens.
These are your eyes now.
That's good brushing.
- And get the backs of your teeth.
- No.
No? Oh.
Well, that's - that's too bad.
- Why? Because if you brush, you get to dance.
Mm-mm! Mm-mm! I'm sorry, Hailey, no.
No dancing if you're not brushing.
I've been waiting on you, babe You can only dance if you brush.
I've been waiting oh so long Oh.
Oh! Look who learned! Very good.
Mm-hmm! A new patient had a dream about my mother.
He recognized her from that photograph I took in to be reframed.
- Huh.
- You know, on the beach? - God, these patients of yours.
- (TIMER DINGS) No, no, no! Not yet.
I'm not fasting because of some ritualized superstition.
Yeah, but you respect the people you love who are.
You know, in my session with this patient today, I had a very strong mental image of him on the beach with me and my mother when I was five.
Mmm, how unusual, the human brain producing a random mental image.
What does what does "Dareh miyad" mean? "It happens," right? Um, more like, "It's coming.
" - "It's coming"? - Yeah.
Apparently, my mother said that to him in his dream.
It sounds like someone wants some attention.
Navid, it's past sunset! So, what, he googled me, found out I'm Persian, then looked up something cryptic to say in Farsi? Why would you do that? Why would anybody do anything? People are nuts.
Well, he also says he keeps on seeing the number 11:11.
November 11th! My birthday! Well that's easy to find online.
Who is this patient? You do not want another Mindy.
Why did I take that photograph with me into my office today? Okay.
I could've easily have left it in my car.
Really, it's starting to scare me.
Oh no, no, don't be scared.
I'm merely acknowledging a series of interesting connections.
Carl Jung would call that synchronicity.
(LAUGHS) Carl Jung was a racist, chauvinistic homophobe, - and he can suck my dick.
- (LAUGHS) (MAN SINGING THE CALL TO PRAYER IN ARABIC) It should cover all of your hair.
(CALL TO PRAYER CONTINUING) (KISSES) Isn't that the rule? It depends.
I only follow the rules I like, anyways.
- Yeah, well, clearly.
You are really mastering that smoky eye, honey.
- That way I have a paper trail.
- (BEEPS) Hey, Ramon, it's Mom again.
Call me.
Why doesn't he ever answer his phone? It's so simple to return a call.
You don't even have to dial a number anymore.
(SIGHS) AUDREY: Sometimes I think technology just makes us stupid.
What? - What? It's Wednesday.
- Really? - Yeah.
- With everything that's going on? Not to mention what a dick you were to me at the psychiatrist today.
So no date night.
(SCOFFS) Well, how can I even think about sex when Ramon might be losing his mind? Because he might not be losing his mind? You don't know how much it terrifies me.
All those years I woke up to a bloody bathroom sink because my brother felt the need to brush his teeth all night long.
They didn't correctly diagnose him for months.
Hey, Ramon is not Ike.
I never would've dreamed he might become mentally ill.
Ashley or Duc, absolutely, but but Ramon? (CRYING) We don't know anything yet.
This is just fear talking.
(WHISPERS) Aren't you scared? Yes, of course I'm scared.
I'm petrified.
Why do you think I was such a dick to you today? - Duh.
- (LAUGHS) My mom and dad were so blindsided by Ike.
They waited too long, and he's the one who paid for it.
Well, they did too.
It destroyed them.
It destroyed our entire family.
We're not gonna figure this out tonight.
I think we should schedule a family meeting for Saturday.
That might make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
Greg, I need you on my side on Ramon's side.
RAMON: So, you try the bathroom, the closet, the door to the hall, and the fire escape, and each time you die.
So where else is there? Underneath the bed, there's a trap door that takes you What made you decide to use your actual apartment as the first level of a game? Well, it all started here not long after I moved in, so - Hmm.
- Yeah.
What's up with these drawings? You just dream them up? Actually, that one over there, this one, and this one over here are from actual dreams I had, so yes.
What's the name of the game? Um, I'm kinda into "Realms," - but I think it's a bit too New Age-y.
- Yeah.
I don't know anything about gaming, but it's beautiful.
RAMON: What, you never play games? Yeah, when I was a kid.
I don't even own a computer now.
(CHUCKLES) That's funny.
I can use my phone for anything I need.
- Mmm.
- Well most anything.
(PHONE BUZZES) What if it's about Ramon? (SIGHS) Kristen, what's up? I think I have some kind of STD.
ASHLEY (ON PHONE): Shut the fuck up.
It My vag itches like a motherfucker, and it stings when I pee, which I have to do all the time.
(SIGHS) Could be a yeast infection.
KRISTEN: I don't think it's a yeast infection.
I think it's worse.
And there's some kind of discharge.
Could still be a yeast infection.
KRISTEN: It's not a yeast infection.
I had sex - about a week ago.
- Oh.
Could be chlamydia.
First time I have sex, I get fucking chlamydia! Well, did you use a condom? Oh, you're assuming it was with a guy? ASHLEY: It wasn't? Of course it was.
Did you use a condom? - Oh my God.
- ASHLEY: Kirsten! You're a fucking idiot.
You know that? Yes! I know.
Wolfe? Mr.
Thank you for flying to Vancouver on such short notice.
Oh, it's no prob.
I've got a few things I need to do up here anyway.
- What can I get you? - Just water, thank you.
So, Duc, I'll get right to it.
Fairfax Press loves the latest draft of your book, not to mention your Twitter and Instagram following and we'd like to publish in the fall.
(LAUGHS) That's fantastic.
And we'd really love for your father to write the foreword.
(CHUCKLES) I'm not sure he'd wanna But you can convince him, right? Because we'd like to publish a new 30th anniversary edition of his book and tie it into your launch.
I mean, it would be a shame to waste such a huge cross-marketing opportunity.
It would.
RAMON: What if I'm crazy? What if I have a fucking brain disease and I'm gonna start seeing shit that's not really there for the rest of my life? Maybe you're just way more perceptive than the rest of us.
- You really think that's possible? - Why wouldn't it be? You know, when I was a kid Yeah? shadows would follow me.
There were, like, people but on the other side of something, but their shadows got through.
How how old were you? Little.
It was before school even.
Whatever's happening to you, don't come at it from fear.
- Because the fear will destroy you.
- All right? Why are you here, anyway? Oh man.
I want to be here.
Why? We only hooked up twice.
Well, three times, counting just now.
Are you one of these savior type of guys who just gets off on rescuing people? - No.
It's so not that.
- So what then? Feels like this is where I'm supposed to be with you.
I don't get that feeling a lot, so when I do, I pay attention.
That's it.
(BOTH BREATHE DEEPLY) No fucking way.
Randy Butler? I don't even know his last name.
I think he was a friend of Duc's.
No, he's a model I shoot, but he's so fired now.
Promise me you will not fire him.
Oh great.
Now we have to deal with these fucking idiots.
Are we about to get killed by some alt-right bozos? The chances of that are slim to moderate, at best.
- MAN: Hey! Here comes one! - Don't engage, okay? Walk through them They don't exist.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING) Murderer! They don't exist.
They don't exist.
Your mom chose life! Actually, my biological mother died giving birth to me, so she didn't chose life.
I thought you said, "Don't engage.
" Look at you! You're practically a baby yourself! Babies having babies.
I have chlamydia, you idiot.
And aspirational.
(HUMPHS) They're marketing themselves, that's the most terrifying part.
Why do you think I called you in? I have no fucking idea what to do.
We need a meeting between the kids who want this club and the kids who are offended by it, after school today.
- Can you do that? - Yes.
- Bless you.
- (LAUGHS) Oh please.
I'm just happy you don't want to handle these things yourself.
You're keeping the Empathy Initiative in business.
- Susan, it's me.
- Sweetie, it's Mom.
I'm here at your school.
I thought we could grab a cup of tea.
Text me.
She said it's either trichomoniasis or chlamydia - Mm-hmm.
- but I have to wait for the test results, because they're treated with different drugs.
Well, at least you're not pregnant.
Yeah, but I am the most disgusting slut alive.
Oh, stop, there are plenty of sluts way more disgusting.
- No, I'm just ashamed.
- Of course you are.
How many babies you kill today? Thirty! You think this is a joke? They butcher it while it's still inside you, and then they suck the dead baby out, and they sell it for parts! That's been completely debunked.
Oh yeah? Well, I guess then black lives really don't matter.
Hey, fuck you, you fucking ass.
Kristen! Get in the car.
Get in the car.
Yeah, Kristen.
- Dumb whore! - Hey! - Hey! Kristen! Hey! - MAN: Did you see that? - ASHLEY: Kristen, stop! - (KICK THUDS) Kristen! Shit! Stop it! You fucking asshole! Kristen! Kristen! Kristen! - (GROANING) - (POLICE SIREN BLARES) OFFICER: I need you ladies to stay where you are.
Oh God! (MOANS) GREG: So, what is the point, really, of thinking about thinking? It's only in examining our thoughts that we see the ways that they limit our experience of the world, which in turn allows us to choose different ways of thinking, - like choosing empathy instead of - (CHUCKLES) Okay.
Let's talk about empathy.
Stop writing, everybody.
Close your laptops.
Put away your fucking phones.
(MURMURING) - You can do it.
It won't kill ya.
So now, imagine that I am a man of immense wealth and power who could do a lot of good things for a lot of people and the world, but because of my crippling self-loathing I just keep taking more of everything for myself if you can imagine such a person exists.
- (LAUGHTER) - So now, I take something from you or someone that you love your house, your car, your healthcare.
So, what is your response? Do you get angry? Do you hate me? And what does that do, except bring more hatred and anger into the world? - Or, do you - Empathize.
empathize with my psychic pain, which is genuine.
And what exactly does your empathy accomplish? It accomplishes jack shit! I'm confused.
I don't It lulls you into complacency, so I can fuck you even harder.
- (WOMAN WHISPERS) What? - So, now your empathy just got you fucked.
Are you suggesting we not strive to choose empathy over fear? Because that's kind of the cornerstone of your own philosophy.
Aren't we supposed to be talking about Schopenhauer? You know what you're supposed to be doing? You're supposed to be living.
You're supposed to be being outdoors, eating, drinking, getting high, fucking, getting angry, 'causing trouble while you still can! Get out! All of you, out! Get out! - (MURMURING) - Live! Love somebody! Hate somebody! Let's stop thinking! Go burn something down, go punch a fucking Nazi, but stop fucking thinking! (MURMURING CONTINUES) - You okay? - (DOOR CLOSES) Just a little tired.
- (BREATHES DEEPLY) - (DOOR OPENS) (WATER RUSHING) RAMON: How could I have grown up in Oregon and never been here before? HENRY: Oh yeah.
It's insane, right? (BOTH LAUGHING) You, uh you spend a lot of time outdoors growing up? I remember a few camping trips, but they kinda just stopped.
Oh shit.
Why? I don't know.
Everybody got phones? Yup.
When's the last time you went to a dark spot? - What? - (LAUGHS) It's, um it's a place far enough away from major light and noise pollution from which you could really see the Milky Way which, if you've never seen, is fucking majestic.
RAMON: More majestic than this? I'll take you tonight.
Decide for yourself.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah.
One second.
(CLICKS) How is it? Is it good? Can I see? (GASPS) Ooh, can you send that to me? I gotta Instagram it.
It's my slubby chart face.
- (LAUGHS) - (KRISTEN LAUGHS) Where'd you get this purse? I asked you a question.
It's from Will Leather Goods.
How much a bag like this cost? I'm not sure.
Maybe 300.
You don't remember what you paid for it? I didn't pay for it.
It was a promotional gift.
I feature their merchandise on my retail site, so I didn't steal it, if that's what you're thinking.
Why do you need so much skin lotion? (SCOFFS) Shea butter.
Must weigh a couple pounds.
Well, that explains why you've been in such a shitty mood.
- (CLICKS) - KRISTEN (LAUGHING): Oh my God! Okay.
Why don't I get to wear the orange jumpsuit? You have yet to give me one reason that makes any sense.
(LAUGHS) Ooh! All right, you're done.
Wait, that's it? - That was disappointing.
- (LAUGHS) We got a comedian here.
Head to the right.
(HEAVY PATTING, BRUSHING) Is that a wig? It is.
Do you mind removing it for me please? May I? (DOOR BUZZES, OPENS) Bail's been met.
(DOOR CLOSES) - Hey! Guys! - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Why do you even need a club? Like, you already have the world.
KELVIN: Not for long! - Yeah! - (CHANTS) Not for long! (KIDS CHANTING) Not for long! Not for long! (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) Not for long! Not for long! Not for long! (AIR HORN BLARES) That kind of behavior serves no purpose except to make each other angry, which is exactly what we do not want to do.
Because when anger escalates, it becomes violence.
We are not trying to disparage anybody, but in this school, there's an Asian-American Alliance, a Black Student Union, a Jewish Student union, a Straight/Gay Alliance, United Latinos, Muslim Students Association.
And every one has a pride day, a pride week, or even a pride month.
- Which is a good thing.
- BOY: Yup.
- Yes.
- Right? Okay, so why is it okay for every other culture to celebrate their heritage, but not for straight, - white people to do it? - BOY: Exactly.
And why does it make us racist if we want to? Um, history? - Slavery? - Nazis? (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) (AIR HORN BLARES) The next person to speak has to start with these two words "I feel.
" Because knowing how another person feels and how your actions affect them fosters compassion, which makes it more likely that you'll be able to find a middle ground.
There is no middle ground when you're dealing with Nazis.
- BOY 2: That's right.
That's right.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) You are not helping your cause.
That's exactly the kind of thinking that normalizes fascist shit that we need to stop right now, right? - STUDENTS: That's right.
That's right.
" Who has something to say starting with those words? I feel like I have to personally apologize for all of history, but I didn't do any of those things, guys.
- Good.
- Thank you.
And I feel like you don't want to acknowledge how people of color have suffered and continue to suffer because you never did, and you just assume everybody experiences life the same way you do.
- GIRL: Exactly.
- (APPLAUSE) (LOUDLY) I feel like (APPLAUSE STOPS) maybe you're right.
What? What? Oh please.
BOY: What the hell? Look I'm quite aware of my white privilege.
That's what makes it feel so shitty, watching every other group celebrate their culture and feeling like I'm supposed to feel guilty about my own.
We respectfully withdraw our application for official club status.
- (SHOUTING) - (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) They're right.
We don't need a club.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Well, that is a perfect example of how to dial down the anger and come to an understanding from empathy, rather than from fear.
This is a really good skill to have.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING) (DOOR BUZZES, OPENS) (SIGHS) Can you fucking believe this? You're okay.
You're okay, baby.
Why were you at Planned Parenthood? Because Kristen got an STD from that model I brought to Dad's 60th.
(SIGHS) You brought a model to your dad's party? Well, Duc and I went out for drinks - Uh, wait.
- earlier.
No, that's the night you told me you had to work late.
So, Duc was part of all this? (DOOR BUZZES, OPENS) Oh my gosh! I can't even believe it! About that guy we beat up? That guy you beat up? What about him? He's not pressing charges, because he is a registered sex offender, and that Planned Parenthood was within a thousand feet of a middle school.
(LAUGHS) - ASHLEY: Who told you that? - The policewoman.
She actually ended up being really nice.
Hey, Malcolm.
MAN (ON TV): The match was the second of - (CLICKING) - WOMAN: .
Yeah! (MOANING) (MAN GROANING) (WOMAN LAUGHS, DISTORTED) (MUSIC CONTINUING) (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (WOMEN LAUGH) (MOANING) (SHATTERS) - (MUSIC STOPS) - MAN (ON TV): African lion prides generally consist of up to three males, a dozen or so females, and their young.
A single pride can contain as many as 50 of these super cats.
Asian lions, however, segregate themselves by sex, making two different prides, male and female.
(ENGINE IDLING) - (PIANO PLAYING) - ASHLEY: Kristen! - That's it.
- (DOOR OPENS) Hello! I went to jail too, - but I'm not a huge bitch about it.
- (DOOR CLOSES) I can't believe that you're gonna tell Mom.
I am not gonna tell Mom.
I'm gonna make sure you tell Mom.
I am not telling Mom! Are you Tell me what? Tell her.
Fuck! Kristen! Can you not in front of Hailey? You need to talk to your daughter.
Hi, baby.
Family meeting on Saturday.
Seriously? About Ramon.
I'll text you when.
AUDREY: Why were you in jail? It's okay, sweetie.
Your father and I have both been arrested.
I kicked some Jesus freak who called me a whore at Planned Parenthood.
But don't worry.
He's not pressing charges.
What were you doing at Planned Parenthood? Are you pregnant? No.
I had my period like a week before I had sex.
You had sex? - (MUTTERS) Oh my God.
- With who? It doesn't matter.
Did he give you an STD? Oh my God.
I have chlamydia.
Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
That truly sucks.
- It truly does.
- Oh.
The only good thing about a situation like this is is - it can only get better.
- (SIGHS) Mom (SNIFFLES) I think old people lie when they say that.
They don't want us to know how truly horrible things are, 'cause we'd all run screaming into traffic.
My heart goes out to you.
There's a meeting here on Saturday about Ramon.
Attendance is mandatory.
Will Ram be there? - No.
- Mom, he should be there.
The meeting is for us, to determine how to best help him.
Moving forward, we have to present a united front.
I don't want there to be anything wrong with Ramon.
None of us do.
ASHLEY: So, you want to talk about it? MALCOLM: Talk about what? ASHLEY: Malcolm.
Yeah, how old was he? - Mid 20s.
- (SCOFFS) Oh God.
Why on earth would you do something like that? Because it's fun.
I like to flirt.
Okay? But I never put our marriage Were you drinking? - Yeah.
- Anything else? He had cocaine.
(CHUCKLES) The model had cocaine.
So, uh, okay, so let's see.
Your 17-year-old sister was legally raped and now has a venereal disease because you like to flirt while you were drunk and doing blow with a model.
Well, when you put it like that, it sounds terrible.
(TURN SIGNAL CLICKING) You flirt with an entire women's soccer team.
I do not flirt with them.
(ASHLEY SCOFFS) You give them massages.
MALCOLM: That is part of my job.
(SIGHS) Okay, fine! I was an idiot.
Okay? I was an idiot for no reason at all.
It was just totally random.
That's it.
I swear.
I will I'm so sorry I didn't tell you.
(SIGHS) - (LAUGHING) - Don't.
It's not funny.
- It's kinda funny.
A little bit.
- It's really not funny.
I'm sorry, okay? Look, if you wanna do crazy shit do it with me, okay? You know I'll be into it.
Who brought mushrooms to our honeymoon? (LAUGHS) Mushrooms that didn't work.
- Yeah, well, the effort there.
Anything happen when you were in jail? Anything weird? I'm not gonna wear this fucking wig again.
- Okay.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
It's a fucking pain in the ass.
I'm tired of looking like a Goddamn Japanese - department store mannequin.
- (BOTH LAUGH) - Great.
- Yeah.
- I love your hair.
- You don't love my hair.
I love You love this? I love this.
You don't.
- I do.
- Okay.
I'll see you at home, okay? Yes, you will.
I got her.
She's good.
(ENGINE STARTS) MALCOLM: I love you! There she goes GREG: Famiko.
Hi, it's Simon.
I'm heading up to Walla Walla next week, and I was hoping we might get together before I go.
That's not gonna work.
Uh I have, uh a, um There she goes Maybe we could mmm.
You know what? I'll call you when I get back.
Bye, Famiko.
Uh, this is Simon.
- (CLICKS) - I love her so - (REGISTER BEEPS) - I love her so My only dream (VACUUM WHIRRING) (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) (SPEAKING SPANISH) (LAUGHS) Ah.
Sí, sí.
Gracias, compadre.
(SPEAKS SPANISH) Gracias, jefe.
Jefe? Really? We're amigos.
(BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH) hair look nice Don't that make you sweat? Don't that feel too tight? Yo, what your hair look like? Bet your hair look nice How long your hair is, you need to get your life You only see Oriental, you steady working that dental You poppin' off at the lip And run ya mouth like a treadmill Not your exotic vacation I'm bored with your fascination I need that PayPal, PayPal, PayPal If you want education All around the world, love women, every shading Be so liberated, all around the world, love Want something, Dad? No, just saying good night.
So even if you hate it - Night.
- So wrap my hijab Wrap my hijab, wrap my hijab Wrap, wrap my hijab Keep swaggin' my hijabis Swag-swaggin' my hijabis Swaggin my hijabis, swag-swaggin (MUSIC CONTINUES, MUFFLED) LAYLA: Any chance you'll be attending my Goddaughter Akila's wedding with us next week? Yup, sure.
So Navid's gonna go through life being trans and Muslim.
I don't think he's trans.
I think he's more fluid gender neutral, or is it gender queer? Yeah, however you wanna frame it, it just ups his chances of getting the shit kicked out of him or worse.
He agreed to never go out like that.
Yeah, I really hope so, 'cause he's a big target.
And so are you, insisting on wearing the hijab every time you go out.
That is my faith.
(SIGHS) I know women are forced to wear the veil in certain places, but in the West, we are pressured not to.
Everybody including my husband, apparently wants us to be invisible.
I just don't want you to be the victim of a hate crime.
We live in Portland.
Remember what happened on the MAX last year during Ramadan? (SIGHS) We live in America.
You know, I think of my game as an immersive experience, but (CRICKETS CHIRPING) this is the real immersion.
You know, some physicists believe that the universe is a computer simulation.
Well, that would make us artificial intelligence.
(CHUCKLES) What do you think the need is to know where everything comes from? Fear.
- Of? - Death.
(SIGHS) Are you a big camper? Yeah.
I like to sleep outdoors.
(CLEARS THROAT) You need to tell me something - that you are not proud of - (LAUGHS) because right now, you are impossible.
You're hot.
You're smart.
Now you're this rugged nature guy.
You're genuine.
You're kind.
This is very unsettling, Henry.
- Coming from fear.
- (SIGHS) See? Evolved, spiritual guy.
You need to tell me something that's wrong with you, something that you regret.
I will if you will.
When I was a kid um, I used to catch spiders and I would put them in a jar, and then I'd fill the jar up with water and then watch them drown.
Is that really that bad? Murdering another creature for entertainment? Yeah, I'd say that's pretty fucking bad.
Your turn.
(SIGHS) I once rubbed lunch meat all over my dick so a dog would lick it.
(LAUGHS) Okay.
I mean, who didn't? (BOTH LAUGH) Horny little fucker over here.
Good God.
That's me.
I sneeze like a cat.
- (PHONE CHIMES) - Yeah.
- That's the one.
(SIGHS) (CLICKS) - Sweetie.
- Mmm? I love the new hair.
- It's so natural.
- Thanks.
- What is this? - Ooh.
Pork vindaloo.
Very spicy.
Like spicy okay or spicy "It'll hurt when I take a dump"? - (LAUGHS) - Oh.
Kristen! Mom, why do you act like this delicate goody-two-shoes when you're so not? 'Cause that's who my mother was.
And no matter how much you try not to turn into your mother, you can never completely avoid it.
Did you get my email? The one with the yoga schedule at Quantum Fitness? - Yeah.
- You know regular exercise can really help regulate emotions, Dad.
It's the best antidepressant there is.
So, Mom told me you're speaking at some conference next week.
Yes, the Washington Philosophical Society has invited me to their bi-annual conference, and in a moment of insanity, I said yes.
Well, sounds rough.
- Any word on your book? - Um, yeah.
Yeah, it looks like it's getting published.
- No shit.
Which publisher? - Fairfax.
My old publisher.
They're still in business, huh? Well clearly they have great taste.
Um - when can I read it? - Soon.
ASHLEY: It would be nice if you were honest, because this feels really intervention-y, and I just please don't say that you're going to have him committed.
Of course not.
I've seen that up close, and once you commit somebody, it's hard to get them out.
But he is seeing a doctor, right? Yes, Dr.
Farid Shokrani, best in Portland according to the Chair of Psych Medicine at the university.
- So why are we? - Because there are lots of other ways, as Ram's family, that we can help him.
Like having meetings behind his back.
Like not smoking pot with him, not making that temptation available, encouraging him to get out of his apartment, away from his computer I keep calling him although he told me not to take it personally if he doesn't pick up right now.
- Yeah, me too.
- Me three.
That's exactly what I'm afraid of, him isolating, cutting himself off.
We that's what Ike We can't let that happen.
Okay, here's a thought.
(SIGHS) Don't micromanage him, and let Baby Jesus grow up.
- Thank you.
- We can't just do nothing.
Mom, what can we do? We can convince him to go on medication as soon as possible.
But he hasn't even had another incident.
(SCOFFS) It speaks.
- What? - The newer antipsychotics - reduce the risk of future episodes.
- Yeah, but, Mom - what are the side effects? - He's not psychotic.
Why do you keep using that word? Because pretending like the possibility doesn't exist is not helping anybody - (DOOR OPENS) - especially Ram.
We cannot afford to be sentimental.
- (DOOR CLOSES) - RAMON: Sentimental about what? Hmm? Sentimental about my schizophrenia, which has yet to be diagnosed? But who cares? Let's just pump him full of drugs before he turns into a real problem.
How can you even think that's what's motivating me? Okay, here's the deal.
I am 22, and if I end up undergoing any kind of medical treatment, - that's my decision.
- Yes.
It's my thing, Mom.
- Yes, but - It's happening to me.
And you can't control it.
I can't control it! Now, I know how scary that is for you, Mom, because of Uncle Ike, but it's a million times scarier for me, just waiting to see what happens, if something happens.
My baby.
I know.
Whatever it's going to be I'm not gonna come at it from fear, okay? 'Cause that will kill me.
(CRYING) I just want what's best for you.
You know that.
But maybe what's best for me is not what's in store, Mom.
(AUDREY SIGHS) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGING ALONG) Mirror in the bathroom, please talk free The door is locked, just you and me Can I take you to a restaurant that's got glass tables? You can watch yourself while you are eating GPS: In 500 feet, turn left at the "T" junction.
(ON RADIO) Mirror in the bathroom, I just can't stop it Every Saturday you see me GPS: At the "T" junction, turn left.
Just a thousand reflections Of my own sweet self, self, self, self, self - (ROCK MUSIC FADES) - (EERIE MUSIC PLAYS) (TURN SIGNAL CLICKING) GPS: At the "T" junction, turn left.
Mirror in the bathroom You're my mirror in the bathroom You're my mirror in the bathroom You're my mirror in the bathroom Mirror in the bathroom, recompense For all my crimes of self-defense Cures you, whisper, make no sense Drift gently into mental illness Mirror in the bathroom Please talk free The door is locked, just you and me Can I take you to a restaurant that's got glass tables? You can watch yourself While you are eating Mirror in the bathroom Mirror in the bathroom Mirror in the bathroom Mirror in the bathroom Mirror in the bathroom Mirror in the bathroom