Hill Street Blues (1981) s03e11 Episode Script

No Body's Perfect

All right.
Item nine big Bertha.
Our antiquated heating system once more is kicking in With a period of thermal hyperactivity.
After knuckling under to an overnight low of 16 degrees, Bertha continues to produce in excess of 1.
8 million b.
'S per hour, despite every effort by our crack janitorial squad To get her to cool down.
When you're hot, you're hot.
It will please you to know that a city-wide search is under way For a building engineer experienced enough, I.
, old enough, to be familiar with the inner workings of a furnace that, contrary to popular belief, was not brought over in the mayflower, but certainly predates the hoover administration.
Try the cemetery! In the meantime, let's keep those upstairs windows open, and let's be certain to bundle up properly before going outside.
Item 10 illness continues to play havoc with our duty roster.
Revised pairings for the day officers hill and Crawford, foot patrol.
Officers Nichols and renko, unit 2202.
We can expect this fluid state of affairs as regards duty assignments To continue throughout the cold and flu season.
Item 11 regards the ongoing canine vicissitudes of lamont.
Lhasa apso, beloved of Trudy, woman and wife to the governor.
Officially, the dog continues missing.
But it will hearten you to know that even as I speak, a negotiated release is being finalized upstairs, and the little nipper should be returned safe and sound before day's end.
Let us hope for this happy outcome.
Let us hope for the well-being of this little scamp.
And more than anything, let us hope for an end to the plague of dog hair That has assaulted our coffee, our clothes, our sweet rolls, our nasal orifices Over the intervening days via the various lamont pretenders.
All right, that's it.
Let's roll.
And let's be careful out there.
Officer hill, may I see you up here? You think, young Crawford bought that explanation of the new pairings? Probably not.
Will you see what you can do to convince Hey! I'm gonna kill you, man! Hey, man! What the hell's wrong with you? You guess you're straight? She bounce you off the walls? - Man, I don't know what you're talkin' about! - Teresa! Teresa! I'm talkin' about Teresa! I'm talkin' about Teresa! Hey, renko! Stop it! Stop it! You hear me? Dispatch.
We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See surplus store, corner people's drive, 124th street.
I will not tolerate such displays in my station house.
What you were fighting about is personal business between you.
There's no law says you have to be friends.
Either you keep your differences off duty and off premises, or I'll have you reassigned.
Understood? All right, dismissed.
Woman troubles? I expect.
The bachelor's life.
Hey, Phil, let's have lunch.
Some other time, ray.
I wouldn't be very good company.
Sarge! Excuse me.
Come on, Phil.
Let's put grace gardner out of your mind? We'll have a nice glass of wine, enjoy a good meal.
Noon? 12:30.
All right.
Great! Hi, irwin.
Morning, captain.
Listen, thanks for coming down.
A little warm in here.
Well, we have a runaway furnace.
Irwin, I need a postponement on the Edwards hearings.
With a little time, we could make a case.
I can't do it, frank.
No postponements.
I don't have reason one to keep Edwards in custody an hour over the limit.
Then let's turn him loose for a few days.
Still no.
My office has decided to go with what we've got.
We're putting our faith in coroner nydorf's testimony.
Then we're dead, and you know it.
Sorry you think that.
What's going on? I'm trying to keep from losing a murder case.
You guys seem willing to let it go.
We're gonna get him, frank, once and for all.
Damn right.
You're gonna let a murderer walk? We are? Who was it that lost the damn autopsy report? And then who burned up the damn body so he couldn't perform another one? If we postpone, m-maybe we can get Edwards to plead and or we develop Frank, our office has had egg on its face 'cause of this guy too many times, for too many years.
Since I came on in '79, I can quote you seven cases.
Then tell him to resign.
What? And go through two more years of civil service hearings? And in the meanwhile, how many more killers like bubba Edwards does he open the cell door on? No.
No, Wally nydorf wants to testify, frank.
He thinks he can get his report to fly.
And we're gonna let him try.
He's been that department for 32 years.
That's nothing to brag about.
I'll see you in court.
Mick, I'm terrified.
Eddie, your part of it is over.
All you have to do is disappear till around 4:00.
You know that all you can do is get yourself made showing up here.
Poorly put.
I can't be alone.
I keep thinking what I'm doing to Jose.
I'm getting him in trouble.
What do you mean, getting him in trouble? The guy killed three people! But I still I can't stand causing pain.
Mick all right, you listen to me.
You did the right thing.
Now you gotta let me and the people I work with do our jobs.
But what's gonna happen to me? What's going to happen to the betrayer? Nothing is gonna happen to you, Eddie! Go to the movies.
I should.
I was thinking I should.
Well, I think it's a good idea.
And then And after today, I thought I'd go away for a while.
If things go good, we don't need more information, I think that's right on the ball.
I cleaned your apartment.
I think you had the cure for something growing in your sink.
Thank you.
And your mother called.
- She's a doll.
- Go to the movies.
See you later.
You're immature.
You're promiscuous.
You got a lousy attitude toward women.
You stay out all night long.
Well, I'll kill myself tomorrow, okay? I mean, putting it to a buddy's girl, Joe.
That is the lowest.
Hey, you don't know all the facts, luce! So just knock it off! Fine.
Why don't you tell me? You're not my mother, either! Perfect, beautiful.
You're right.
"Perfecto!" I can't believe you.
Well, maybe you want a new partner.
Maybe I do.
Yeah, maybe Phil donahue's available.
Any messages? What? What do you want? I saw him comin' out of your house last night Joe coffey.
So what? Who I see is my own business.
You are trying to ruin this relationship.
What relationship? We had some really nice times together.
We had a lot of fun.
And some of the other times were not so enjoyable.
What you did the other night It's Joe coffey, isn't it? If you say so.
How could you do this? You're such a jerk.
I want to tell you something, not that it's any of your business.
But nothing happened last night between Joe and I.
I wanted to, and he passed.
And no, it doesn't change anything.
Look, couldn't we just Maybe if I changed.
You're not gonna be happy until you bulldoze yourself into nothing.
I care for you so much.
Just go, okay? Don't make me Sad I ever met you.
Lee? Yeah.
Right on the button, amigo.
How you doin', sid? How are you doing? I'm good.
I'm good.
Didn't have any trouble gettin' here? No.
No sweat.
The stuff in there? Hey, Lee, that is 14 Polo shirts and a half a case of coconut tanning butter.
What're you doing? You taking a trip? And you wanna know something crazy? What? I don't even know where.
I'm just gonna go out to the airport, and I'm gonna see what's flying.
- I'm gone.
- Come on down! And, what is it that I can do for you? Well, I think you can do a couple of l.
'S for me.
Well, I think I can cover your action.
Now, listen, Lee.
I don't wanna cause any embarrassment, but, I'm gonna have to see your talent.
Sidney, this is not an embarrassment.
Which I'm not gonna count it or nothin', Lee.
I'm not gonna waste our time.
Thank you very much.
You ready? I'm ready.
Check whichever one you want.
What do you use? Heat? What? Are you kidding? I know you're not gonna stiff me, sid.
I'll tell you.
This is 100% Peruvian soda.
I'm only moving it for a friend who got caught in a couple of switches.
You know, it's too bad Teddy and Steve can't be here, because we could I think that can be arranged.
- Lee? - Michael.
I'm sick.
I'm sick in my heart.
How're you doing, Wally? All right.
How 'bout yourself? Fine.
Come down to give me the rockne speech before the big hearing, frank? Well, I don't know what I'd think I could teach you about testifying at a prelim.
Yeah, I've been around that block a couple of times.
I'm looking for a favor.
Yeah? Sure.
Our evidence on, bubba Edwards seems, iffy to me.
I thought maybe you could develop a 48-hour flu bug, and, meantime we could get him into plea.
Plea to what? Felony bad looks? Well, we've been going through the records.
We think we might be able to connect him with some other business.
- What other business? - A couple of unsolved homicides.
They why doesn't the d.
Postpone on that, frank? Why get me to stiff the hearing for something that takes a phone call downtown? Stop yankin' my chain.
It's a hanging party up there.
They're after you, Wally.
Frank, you've always been a good kid.
And I appreciate your concern.
But believe me, frank, there isn't a trial lawyer around I can't waltz through one of these things.
I'm gonna get you your indictment, frank.
W-Wally, you're not seeing the situation clearly.
They want you out.
They want another chief coroner.
Now, don't make me lose my temper, frank.
Wally, when I first came on the force, as much as anyone, you showed me what it took to do my job.
Don't give me a eulogy.
Nobody's dead.
This department's in bad enough shape Without a public humiliation.
Please, Wally.
Take 48 hours.
Consider retirement.
You wanna know when I'll retire? When I'm the guy out there on that slab.
That's when.
Get out of here.
You guys draw straws for who got me? You lose? You're being too sensitive, brother.
Three partners in three days.
Nate, stop thinking so much.
You see the tall guy across the street? Which one? He took a TV out of the Marquis and put it in his own car.
Had an extension cord and a circuit tester in his back pocket.
Maybe a repairman or the Einstein of the b & E set.
Say, could we lend you a hand? Yes, please! Okay, get in the car.
You know, I was shot two years ago, Nate.
You were? Going into one of those buildings.
Every time I walk into a hallway, I have to fight off the fear.
Comes with the territory, man.
Try it! Thanks, officers! You got it.
Ready for lunch? Yeah, all set.
Thank you, ray.
You're quite welcome.
Hey, look who is here! Well, that's Rosa And somebody else.
I think, that's her cousin, Esperanza.
Ihola, muchacha! Ray, it was my understanding that you and I, man to man.
This Esperanza is an exceptional woman.
She's bright, intelligent, hardworking and single! Ray.
Should we invite 'em for lunch? Esperanza! Iqué coincidencia! "Felipe" Esterhaus.
She says it's a great pleasure to meet you.
She really knows much more English than she thinks.
She just gets nervous.
I'm pleased to meet you too.
Ay, gracias.
Hi, Phil.
Hello, Rosa.
W-were the two of you shopping? Yes! - Imagine the coincidence! - We were just at the new mall, right there.
Boy, am I hungry! Me too! You guys.
You really make me sick, you know that? So what? Now, what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to lie down? I'm supposed to roll over? Forget about it.
- Jose who? - Come on, sid.
You know, the guy that shot and barbecued three Peruvians? I don't know who you're talkin' about.
Look, one of you guys wanna check the thermostat? It's like a oven in here.
Man, you give him up, you could probably walk away from the whole bust.
I could walk away if I rat on this guy? I'm gonna walk where? Relocation.
Maybe a couple of bucks in your pocket.
Captain, these guys just whistlin'? Because I wouldn't believe these two if they told me the sky was blue.
The guy's got friends.
Money and relocation are good, but I'm gonna need more.
I'm gonna need surgery.
Take a couple of John Doe warrants besides the one from Jose, in case he needs company.
Movie's over.
You are driving me crazy, you know that? You're up here more than a bail bondsman! You! Butterfly! You did this? It was you! Pig squealer! Get him out of here! Come on! Pig squealer! My god! You're dead, butterfly.
How does it feel to be dead? I'm gettin' a nose job! You're gettin' a pine box! Shut up! So long, dead man! You happy? God! God! That's why I told you not to come up here.
I'm dead! I'm a dead man! All right.
Just calm down.
I'm dead now.
What have I done? Eddie! Stop it.
Come here.
I'm worthless.
I wish I didn't exist.
Stop it! You're staying here.
We're gonna take care of you.
Nobody's gonna hurt you, Eddie.
You're with friends now.
You hear me? Okay.
Eddie, this is sergeant goldblume.
Sergeant goldblume's gonna stay with you.
How do you do? Henry goldblume.
Eddie gregg.
How do you do? You okay? Yeah.
All right.
You could pick up those warrants at 2:30, Mick.
Thank you.
I love you.
I love your hot breath.
Excuse me? Excuse me.
Cut it out, hair bag! Mick.
Mick, I'm damp.
My breast is heaving I said, cut it out! Hey, hey, calm down.
Be cool, baby.
You make me sick! Just 'cause a guy's different, what the hell is it to you? What are you afraid of? He's gonna come up to you and touch you and give it to you? Eddie gregg is scared, that's all! He's just a poor, scared guy trying to get through the day! I was dumbfounded, Howard.
The man had the best of intentions, Phil.
Of course he did.
But the fact remains with the best intentions in the world, the man put me in an extremely precarious spot.
I felt like he had a license in his pocket and a clergyman in the car.
Clergyman in the car? Phil has just survived an assault on his bachelorhood, Henry.
It seems that our Ramon calletano is not above a few machiavellian machinations To procure citizenship for a friend of the family.
Did I understand you to use the word procure, Howard? Calm yourself, amigo.
I didn't use that term in a "Solicitorial" Context.
I am sorry your meeting with Esperanza did not have a happy outcome.
But it is not fair for you to accuse me I'm not accusing you of anything.
It was just a very awkward situation.
It is true Esperanza's visa is running out.
It is true we hoped something might develop between the two of you.
But only if you had both fallen in love in the next eight days, we would have considered marriage.
Stranger things have happened! - Well, not to me.
- Excuse me.
Hello, Howard.
Hello, grace.
Miss gardner.
Phil, could we have a private moment? If you gentlemen will excuse us.
You'll follow me, please? Roll call? Any word on lamont? Lots of sugar, just like you wanted.
I was gone two minutes, frank.
I went to get him some coffee.
Where do you think he went? Probably to the bus station.
He was scared to death.
What time are we busting the boyfriend? 45 minutes.
He could be running back there to warn him.
We better notify belker.
It seems like such a terrible waste.
Well, still, if we break, I feel we should break clean.
And I appreciate that.
If I were fair-minded I'd say "I "I have to give Phil emotional space to develop new attachments.
"I have to respect his desire for For a relationship which has marriage as its goal.
" But Phil, I'm not fair-minded.
I still feel hot fire Burning inside me every time I think of you.
I smell your Your smell on my pillow and-and on my clothes.
I I nearly go crazy wanting you.
Phil! There are still frontiers of passion for us to penetrate.
Grace, I-i think we've penetrated all those frontiers No, we haven't.
We haven't begun.
We haven't? No.
And there's something I want to do to you.
Ooh, grace.
Right here? Right now? You must know of a place.
The furnace room.
Little ferret.
Little wetback con artist.
He won't bring the dog back.
Jesus usually delivers.
Well, it doesn't matter anyway.
It couldn't matter less.
You know what you're looking at? You know what I am? "Finito.
" "Write-off-areeno.
" I figured it out last night.
I don't get the dog, I'm a failure.
I do, I'm a joke.
Every fund-raiser emcee, every smart-assed reporter looking for a sidebar on a slow day.
"Hey, let's work over Anderson.
Let's do something on that stiff that spent 50 grand finding the governor's dog.
" I'm out.
I bought the farm.
My career got creamed by a runty little mutt.
Why do you guys keep it so hot in here? Somebody lookin' for a dog? I don't believe it! Is it really him? Check him out.
Right dog this time, Mr.
Anderson? Looks like the McCoy! Better get the governor's Mrs.
down here.
Lamont? I'm looking forward to getting back to the capitol.
We've been here three days.
We were scheduled for four hours.
I didn't even pack an overnight bag.
Martinez, with a "Z".
Listen, pencil pusher, you learn to spell that correctly.
You're talking to the big cheese of the new youth program.
All right.
M-a-r-t-i-n-e "Z" As in snake.
You're a little lethargic.
We'll get you on a physical training program.
We'll get you a shave and a haircut.
You're hangin' around with the wrong people, lamont.
Fetch! Dr.
nydorf, you've testified that you've conducted autopsies On more than 600 homicide victims.
That's right.
You've, supervised preparation of autopsy reports.
Over 7,000 other homicides.
That's correct.
Doctor, what would you say is the typical length of such a report? Well, there's no typical length.
Some reports go into great detail, 30 or 40 pages.
Others-others would you put two and a half pages On the low end of the scale? Do you want to weigh it? It establishes cause of death.
Doctor, when in time was this report prepared Relative to performance of the autopsy itself? It's a reconstruction of the original report.
When in time was it prepared? Three weeks later.
That's all been stipulated.
What happened to the original autopsy, doctor? That's all been stipulated.
The original report was misplaced.
You're sure the autopsy was done? Yes.
Now, to the extent that there is a customary procedure when an autopsy report is lost, in the case of a homicide, what would that procedure be? Perform another autopsy.
Look, this has all been Why wasn't that done in the present case? The body was unavailable.
Why? Look.
This is a preliminary hearing.
All he has to do is show reason to believe a crime has been committed.
Now, I have testified that the victim, ca castaneda, died from application of force to the neck.
Answer the question, please.
Why wasn't the body available for a second autopsy, doctor? There were difficulties involved in, retrieval of the body.
As you all know as you all should know, our office is understaffed and Doctor, speak directly to the question please.
If you'd just let me ex why wasn't the body available for a second autopsy, doctor? I have said the body was not retrievable.
- What prevented - The body has been cremated! Now, the, body had been switched with the body of a of a vagrant Who died of natural causes, and while we while we, we-we-we keep the body We-we We do not cremate the bodies of homicide victims To guard exac against exactly this kind of eventuality.
In this particular situation doctor, isn't it true that this report is worthless? That's argumentative.
That it's a collage of unverifiable recollections and.
That's argumentative! Bernstein, where the hell are you? Your honor, with the court's permission, I'd like to reopen the question of Dr.
Nydorf's qualification To be admitted as an expert witness.
What? Objection? No objection, your honor.
If I told you, doctor, that I have before me documentation of 11 instances in just the last four years In which capital cases have been dismissed Where did you get that? On court holdings that your office - Where did you get that? - Had provided inadequate information, or that it had not provided information in timely fashion, would that surprise you? Well, it's easy to see who's really on trial here.
Come on, everybody.
Get over on the prosecution side.
nydorf This is a lynch mob.
It's a hanging.
And I've got people in my own department tying the rope! Doctor Alberto Lorenzo.
Alberto Lorenzo of Lisbon, Portugal, found dead in Waterloo park, July 15, 1957.
Body all busted up, cause of death Acute hypothermia.
Nobody could explain it.
How he got there, how he froze to death in the middle of summer.
Nobody could explain it! They called experts from all over the world! Even called in that hotshot forensic from New York! He couldn't explain it! Nobody could! Nobody! But me, I did! I did! Me! Wally nydorf, assistant coroner Wally nydorf.
I sat in that park for six hours, and I knew.
Alberto Lorenzo wanted to come to America.
So he climbed inside the wheel well of a commercial airliner at Lisbon airport and hid.
He died over the Atlantic At 40,000 feet Where the air temperature is 10 below zero.
And when the plane landed, the wheels came down, and Alberto Lorenzo Dropped out of the sky.
I figured it.
I did when nobody else could.
I was good.
I was the best in the business.
No further questions, your honor.
You may stand down, doctor.
Court reserves the judgment on the showing of probable cause.
72 hour rule, your honor.
My client has to be charged before 5:00 P.
Judgment will be issued by 5:00 P.
Court's adjourned.
All right? Everybody got him? All right.
This guy's wasted three people.
Also, there's a chance he's been warned.
These things do not make a promising combination, so you keep your eyes open and don't be afraid to use your radios.
You and you, you come with me.
Just let's get this over with.
Police! Open up! Mick! Help me! Where is he? Gone the window.
How long ago? Just now.
This is red squad one.
Suspect just left by the window.
Street teams watch the alley.
We're goin' up to the roof.
You watch the room.
You okay? Okay.
You think he could have made it to the street? No, we would have seen him.
Check that door.
You go there, and I'll go this way.
Shouldn't we stick together? Not enough time.
Just play it cautious.
Make a sound, and you're dead! Drop it.
You're just what I needed, piggy.
Now move to the door.
Why? What're you gonna do? What do you think, stupid? You're gonna help me walk past your buddies.
Now move it! No.
You wanna die, pig? You wanna kill me? Kill me.
I'm not going out there with you.
You crazy.
Now move it! Give the precinct a call.
Tell 'em we're comin' in.
Better get over to county.
I'm all right.
No you're not.
Go get yourself fixed up.
The city'll pay for it.
Mick, I'm sorry.
I did a terrible thing.
I know.
I'm weak.
I'm a slave to my emotions.
Don't give me any garbage about your emotions, hair bag! People almost got killed here.
You're right.
I deserve the worst that can happen to me.
I don't blame you if you never forgive me.
Do you forgive me? Don't run your act with me, Eddie.
I'm sick of it.
I went the extra yard with you, and you betrayed me.
That's all.
Please don't hate me, Mick.
I don't hate you, Eddie.
I was just hoping you'd surprise me.
After you get fixed up, I think you'd better leave town.
My 30 pieces of silver.
I thought I'd go south.
I don't care where you go.
I'll always think of you as my friend, Mick.
I'll always be grateful to you for taking care of me.
Thank you.
I heard what went down.
Good work.
Thank you, sir.
Welcome to the hill.
Thank you.
You call me down here! You cruelly and deliberately build my hopes! Now you tell me that he's disappeared again! We're as distressed as you are, Mrs.
No you aren't.
You aren't nearly as distressed! You aren't nearly as unhappy as you're going to be! Go break your leg.
What? Go kill yourself.
How dare you talk to me like that? You're fired! I'm fired? I quit! Just wait.
Rotten luck, Anderson.
Fortunes of war.
Today's hero, yesterday's goat.
Yes, sirree, it's up and down, up and down on the hill street elevator.
It's all right, Nate.
It wasn't anything different out there today.
There wasn't a damn thing different from down in the sewer.
I was just as scared.
Just as much being man, I was blind! Take it ea take it easy, Nate.
Do you wanna know what kind of hero I was? He had a gun on me! He was using me to get clear! I didn't want the others to see it.
Cowardly Crawford strikes again! Man, I was so scared.
I was willing to die rather than go through any more of that.
I don't think I'm cut out to be a police officer.
I'm gonna quit.
That's up to you, Nate.
But if you do, don't do it because you think you're a coward.
There's all kinds of bravery, brother, and you're showing me a lot of it right now.
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Nate, for whatever it's worth, I was glad it was you next to me in that building.
Damn glad.
Joe! You wanna hit me, renko? Go ahead.
Hit me.
No, I don't.
I I want to tell you I'm sorry about what happened.
I was stupid.
I went and saw Teresa, and she told me, you know, nothing happened.
Look, I don't know what I was thinkin'.
She was your lady.
I was out of line.
You went over there because I was too hardheaded to realize That some woman don't want me no more.
So, you got a free run at her now.
What? Me and Teresa? No.
I mean, Teresa's okay, but, she's just not our type.
You know, cops.
Okay, um, you're right.
Why didn't you tell me nothin' happened? Because it wasn't important, that's why.
It wasn't important? I'm out there today acting like a fishwife.
Let's just forget about it.
I mean, it's over.
Everything's cool now.
You know that stuff I said about changing partners? I don't want to be with anybody but you.
They got 50 cent draws tonight at, machenry's.
What do you say we go lift a few and fish and chip? Yeah.
Things got a little bit out of hand in there, didn't they, frank? Lost my cool a little bit, didn't I? I'll tell you.
I appreciate you trying to tell me what was up.
You know, I I appreciate that.
Hey, frank, these things happen.
It's all political.
A couple of young turks over there in my department with the d.
A Wally, this isn't business as usual, and it's not politics.
Why don't you do yourself a favor and quit? You're misreading the situation, frank.
I promise you.
This will all blow over.
Hey, listen.
What are you doing for dinner? You wanna have some chow or something? I don't think so, Wally.
Don't want to be seen with me, do you? That isn't it.
Hey, frank.
They'll never get rid of me.
I'm a civil servant.
It'll take years for 'em to get rid of me.
I only got 19 months to retirement.
You're a doctor, Wally.
You were one of the most distinguished men in your field.
You're gonna hide now behind the skirts of-of some bureaucratic regulations? Don't do that to yourself.
Quit now.
What would I do? Hey, frank.
I'll go out to my cabin up in the hills there.
A couple of weeks and you'll see.
When I come back, no one will even remember this Bubba castaneda.
No one will even remember his name.
Listen, frank.
You take care of yourself.
Don't work too hard.
Old Bertha just shut herself down, captain.

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