Hippies (1999) s01e04 Episode Script

Hippy Dippy Hippies

(narrator) In an unremarkable flat in London's Notting Hill, three ex-students from Leicester Polytechnic are about to realise a long-term ambition.
Ray Purbbs, Alex Picton-Dinch and Jill Sprint are producing the first issue of "Mouth"— a new magazine which promises to be an alternative voice for young Britain.
The underground press is expanding, but can these young people really change the world? Can we change the world? It's a serious question, one that I could talk about for ages.
I think, personally (narrator) Whatever way you look at it, it's certainly an exciting time for young people in publishing.
This is Jennifer.
And she's wearing what must surely be the shortest miniskirt in London.
It looks like being an exciting time ahead for the men of Britain.
Just look at that! The bird, he must fly And the fish, he must swim The horse, he must trot And the girl, she must slim Let's all join together Hoof in hoof, hand in hand Fin in fin, wing in wing It's a very good plan Let's build a love state Yeah Here in Notting Hill Gate! ―Hm.
―Yeah.
―Yeah.
―Hm.
―It's a pig.
―Yeah.
I thought of a headline— "Stop the pigs.
" Excellent.
Is there a danger people will think it's a magazine about pigs? That's what I thought— "This is a magazine about pigs.
" Even though I said it was excellent.
People might think you want to stop real pigs.
How do you get across the idea that "pig" equals "policeman"? I've already thought of that.
Very good, yep.
Maybe, uh ―too subtle? ―Yeah, well, I've already thought of that too.
Well, here it is, the typically forthright and incisive self-important analysis of contemporary police practice by Raymond Purbbs.
Did you say "self-important"? No, I said "important".
Didn't I? I think.
All of it.
I spent nine months writing this.
I think it's worthy of a Pulitzer prize.
―I think you might be being a bit naïve, Ray.
―I'm not naïve! You thought the Dalai Lama was a llama.
Yeah, well, you know.
I'm not the only one that's confused, you know.
He might have a few more followers if people didn't think he was some kind of giant sheep.
Do youdo you need me for this or can I go over there somewhere? I really like this stuff that I've written.
Get on the bus.
The world does not revolve around your article.
―Sorry, what did you say? Get on the what? ―Get on the bus.
―What bus? ―The bus we're all on.
Do you mean "scene"? Do you think Ray should "Get with the scene"? Have other people started saying "bus" instead of "scene"? Nobody's told me anything about it, but I can certainly make some calls.
Cos if they have, we should put it in the magazine.
Although, no, no.
Maybe we should wait and see if we hear it around the place.
Look, it is a perfectly acceptable modern youth phrase.
Well, I'm certainly not using it until I've heard a few more people say it.
―Good thinking, Alex.
We're on thin ice here.
―Oh, shut up, Ray.
Stop talking.
Stop talking now or I'll have to hit you.
―We must establish it's not a transport term.
―Be quiet.
―It might be bus-conductor lingo.
―Shh.
No, shh, shh.
Honestly, Ray.
Shh.
―Let's see if you can be quiet for 10 seconds.
―Oh, that is easy.
―There you go.
―That was never 10 seconds.
What? Well, no, maybe it wasn't, but I just couldn't wait to start talking again, you know.
―I've got a lot to say.
―I'm not listening to you, Ray.
Don't put the blinkers on.
Jill, please, no.
―# La la la, la la la ―They don't work anyway.
Look, I can go round there, look.
La la la, la la la Oh, man, this is so exciting, Alex.
I feel like Marco Polo, you know, when he discovered all those countries, you know.
And James Watt when he invented steam.
I don't think he actually invented steam.
No, but no, but he put it in an engine, didn't he? He made steam useful, you know.
Before then it was just, like, up in the sky or something.
If only people these days could make use of (tragically) the weapons of war.
This is great, isn't it? You know? Mouth—it's a great title for a magazine.
Was that my idea? ―I think it was.
―Yes, I forgot, why did we call it Mouth? Because it's a mouth on the face of young people, and also if you change the m in "mouth" to a y, it spells "youth".
So why didn't we just call it Youth? I want you to never tell anyone that you suggested that.
―You hadn't thought of it? ―That's right.
I'd forgotten there was a word called "youth".
In fact, I think I think Youth would be a better title for the magazine.
Mouth is a stupid title! Mind you, this interview Jill did with Rickman is brilliant.
I'm really into this psychosociological thing he's come up with.
―What exactly is all this psychosociology? ―What is it? Well, um Psychosociology is It's kinda like, um The space race would be a good example of psychosociology, and the Anything, really, that Takes too long to explain.
I thought it was one of Rickman's schemes to attract women.
He's a notorious hound.
You know he got Thelma Webb into bed? Thelma Webb is a lesbian.
He tricked her into thinking he was a woman and by the time she found out it was too late.
An unexpected tulip had sprung from the gorse bushes.
I'm not coming to the pictures.
I have to go to Rickman's life-drawing class.
―What does he know about that? ―It's part of psychosociology.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
―He rang me and asked if I was interested.
―OK.
You're threatened by Rickman, aren't you, Ray? ―No.
―You are so jealous.
―I thought we had an open relationship.
―We do.
Then don't be so jealous.
The Spanish have a phrase for people like you— "a jealous bastard".
―That's not Spanish.
―I'm translating.
OK, bye.
Ow! ―Don't attack me, Ray.
―I didn't.
I was trying to Why is Jill so angry all the time? Because when she was young she had a cat and she really loved that cat, and then something terrible happened to it and since then she's become quite hard.
Oh.
Did it get run over or something? No.
It was buggered by her uncle during a ritual sacrifice.
―I thought it might have been run over.
―No.
Hm.
Jill, you've come.
Great.
I'm afraid it's just us two tonight.
Everyone seems to have gone down with this flu bug that's going around.
May I just ask, um do we have a model? Tragically, no.
No, she's gone down with this flu bug.
(tuts and sighs) What to do, eh? What to do? Hm Damn flu! I know, why don't you draw me? Come on, it'll be fun.
I'll just pop back in a couple of seconds, all right? Just slipping the jacket off.
All right? Here I am.
Just as nature intended.
Have you never seen me naked before? No.
Sorry, I meant to say, have you never seen a man naked before? ―Yes, but ―Well, then, come on.
A bit of fun.
Let's enjoy ourselves, hm? Have a bit of a laugh, eh? (howls) ―Hello.
It's me.
Hugo.
―Yeah, Hugo, come in.
Come in? No, it's OK.
I'm probably all right here.
I just wanna show you a ―No, no, come in, come in.
―No, it's OK.
I think I can just, you know Hugo, come in.
Please, come in.
Yeah, I've just brought a record review.
Don't know if you want to see it.
Probably not, actually.
No, I You've got a record review.
That's Alex's department.
Alex? Hugo, you go to see Alex, OK? Yeah, just come over.
―Really.
Really, just come ―(Ray) Go on.
Go on.
―Just one more step.
Good.
―That's it.
Come on over.
Yeah.
There we go.
OK.
There you are with Alex.
I knew you'd make it.
It's the new Floyd album.
Um Just to warn you, it's a slightly different type of review.
―Right.
―If you think it's shit, tell me.
Is it meant to be shit? ―No.
―No.
OK, just trying to get this straight.
Uh Did you like the album? Yeah.
Yeah, see, look.
If you look there, the sun's smiling.
Yeah, look, why don't we introduce sort of, maybe a marking system for albums? And I could write here, maybe in the cloud? Yeah? Uh Nine out of ten.
Looking forward to seeing what you've done.
Oh.
By the way, I hope you don't find it too embarrassing, but my package don't be afraid to draw it too big.
I can't wait any more, I'm too excited.
I'm going to have a tiny peek.
Let's see now.
Oh, that's very good.
That's very good.
Yes, look, you've got the strength of the arms very well.
That's great.
Cheek bones are excellent.
Very good shading.
Ah, now, the package.
All the little bits down below could be bigger, I think.
Just take a little look.
Mmmm Yes, but maybe if I could just? Could I just borrow the? Thank you.
You see, I think I think it's more It's more like this.
Oh! Oh, yes! Oh.
Oh, yes.
―Shit! ―Rickman? ―Professor Curry.
―What's going on here? This is part of my psychosociology course.
Excuse me one second, Rickman.
(Rickman groans) Did he say something about the others in the class being indisposed? Uh, yes.
He said they had flu.
―The model, she has flu as well, does she? ―Yes, that's what he said.
Right.
(clears throat) Professor Rickman is a very brilliant man, but also in many ways a very tortured man.
I'll just have a word.
For God's sake, Rickman, do cover yourself up! (Professor Curry mutters) Oh, this door's still broken.
I was hoping you'd fix it before Ray came over.
Ray's coming over? Great! We haven't seen him since Easter.
―I'll get the darts out.
―Not Ray from Cardiff.
Our Ray, your son.
Oh, him.
(doorbell) There he is.
Now, no fights this time, all right? And don't say he looks like a girl.
(glumly) Yeah, yeah.
(shampoo advert music) ―How's that hippy magazine coming along? ―Yeah, good, good, you know.
There's a whole scene about there, Mum, that's really happening.
We had a bit of an accident the other day.
We were at the printers and Alex was leaning over the printing press, and he got his love beads caught in the machinery.
We nearly lost him.
Be careful, won't you? You won't get your hair near anything? Mum! It's not even that long.
Agh! We're doing a big anti-pigs cover story for the next issue.
You know, pigs.
The police.
Actually, I'm going on a big anti-pigs demo this afternoon.
Dad better realise, Mum, there's a whole new world out there.
He better get on the bus otherwise he's gonna get left behind.
Bus? Oh, have you gotta go? Yes, yeah.
I've got to go to the demo, so All right.
But look, you see any trouble, all right, you find a policeman.
―Let's see where your dad is, then.
―Hey! Get off! Love? Love? Love, are you coming back down? Oh, that was a great demo, you know.
I really, really hate the police, you know.
I think my idea of a Utopian society would be where the police actively encourage anti-police rioting.
In a truly Utopian society, there'd be no need for a police force.
Yeah, well That's what I meant, Alex.
I don't know why you bothered even saying that.
My idea of a perfect police force would be police flying in jet planes in, like, tight formation over huge crowds of people with coloured smoke coming from the wings Whoosh.
That's the Red Arrows you're thinking of, Hugo, for some reason.
―Oh, no! ―Oh, no.
What? And what else did you say that was missing? It was some copies of a magazine.
A magazine? What kind of a magazine? It was a radical underground magazine.
Good for you.
Shake the system up a little.
Phil, they've got a lava lamp.
Can I plug it in? ―Yeah.
―Great.
Well, well, well.
―Look at that.
―Ah, yeah, the burglars put that up.
The sooner cannabis is legalised and we can get on with catching the real criminals the happier I'll be.
Boo! (they scream) ―This is a really nice place, Ray.
―Thanks very much.
―Miss, what do you do? ―She's my girlfriend.
―No, I'm not.
―Aren't you? No.
Yeah.
We've got an open relationship.
I think that's great.
I try and suggest that to my wife every so often, but it wouldn't be easy for her with the wheelchair and everything.
And what do you do, sir? I went to Harrow.
Phil, we'd better go— Top of the Pops.
Oh, yeah.
I think Desmond Dekker's gone up this week.
Anyway, we'll root around for a few villains, see if any of them are distributing a radical magazine.
―Bye.
―Bye.
(sighs in relief) Well, they seem rather nice.
(imitates) "They seem rather nice.
" Alex, they're the police! The only difference between the police and the Nazis is that the Nazis wore uniforms.
―No, they ―Different uniforms.
The copper that's telling you the time one moment could be beating you up the next.
―Why would he do that? ―What? Why would he tell me the time then beat me up? Wouldn't he just beat me up without bothering to tell me the time? I don't know.
Maybe you were giving him some lip.
―No, no, I don't think I'd do that.
―We're in big trouble with this magazine.
Who do we know that's got lots and lots of cash that could help us? ―I might know someone who could help us.
―Who? (Rickman howls) He's still brilliant, though.
I'm really into this whole psychosociological thing he's come up with.
―You don't have a clue what it's about.
―Yes, I do.
Go on, then, give me an example.
What would be an example of a psychosociological thing? ―The space race.
―The space race! Get on the bus, Ray.
You can't Sorry? You just said "Get on the bus" again.
―So? ―What does it mean? ―It means "get real".
―Sure? I think it means "Get with the scene.
" Don't argue.
We agreed that the principle of arguing with women was intrinsically wrong.
―Did we? ―Yes.
It doesn't matter what the argument's about, it's oppression, remember.
―Was I there when we discussed that? ―Yes.
―Any exceptions? ―No.
―That's hardly fair, is it? I can't ―Stop talking, or I'll have to topple you over.
You can't just topple people over when you don't want to hear their arguments.
Jill, if you only knew how foolish you look when you do that.
―Jill.
―Hello First, let me say thank you for not telling anybody about what happened in our little drawing class.
It wouldn't look good for me if people knew the obsession I had with my own secret parts.
That I like the idea of people drawing them.
That I like people drawing them big.
―Ray! ―Hello.
I was randomly associating words and they just happened to fall into coherent sentences.
Wow.
Sit down, sit down.
―So, how's the magazine going? ―Before we talk about that, could you settle a dispute that Ray and I were having about psychosociology? Oh, well, what do you want to know? Ray suggested that the space race was a good example of a psychosociological phenomenon.
Oh, get on the bus, Ray! Only a child would think that.
No, psychosociology is the study of Well, let me put it this way.
Am I a professor of psychosociology? Hm? It says so on the door outside, but am I? ―No.
―No, I am.
It says so on the door.
Here's one for you, Jill.
If I was to put forward the argument that a drawing of a bee is not a bee, ―would I be saying that bees do not exist? ―No.
Exactly.
Here's a teaser for you, see if you can keep up.
Applied psychosociology defies meaning by being an extension of it— that's applied psychosociology not psychosociology per se—yes or no? Ray? ―Um ―Come on, come on.
―No.
―No.
―Agh! Jill? ―Yes.
Yes, of course.
And by being an extension of it, does it therefore limit its own meaning? Jill? ―Yes.
―Ray? ―Yes! ―You're both right.
Except for Ray.
You didn't want to be wrong so you gave me the answer you thought I wanted to hear.
You betray both of us when you do that, Ray.
We are living in a house of ideas, and you're painting that house a sort of shit brown.
I'm going to sit down now.
The reason we're here is because we've run into trouble with the magazine.
We've had all our issues stolen, and you're a supporter of the new consciousness and agree with the redistribution of wealth so it can be used for propagating new ideas.
Yes, yes, yes, I believe passionately in that.
Great.
Well, we were wondering if you could, um, help us out financially.
Yes, yes, of course, of course.
Here, here.
Have a pound.
―Right.
I think this is probably ―Not a word of thanks.
The least I could do.
―No, I ―Ah! ―I just think that ―Ah! Ah! So you think we can relaunch the magazine on a pound? I'm still very positive about this, Alex.
You know, very positive.
We're so lucky to have been born in this generation, you know? Everything's just so good.
Ray? Hello.
Where's Ray? Yeah, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.
Just I fell out of the old window then.
Oh, hi, Ray.
I was really looking forward to seeing you again.
We've got something for you Close your eyes.
OK.
―The magazines! ―Petty thief.
Lives local.
No big deal.
Listen to him, the big tough copper.
We got back everything else that was stolen.
And here's something else.
Open it, Ray.
―Oh, it's a cake.
―Something to celebrate finding the issues.
He, uh he didn't want me to tell you, but it was Phil's idea.
―Eric.
―Thanks.
If there's anything we can do Tell you what.
My son is trying to start an underground magazine.
I wouldn't mind looking at yours, might give me some ideas.
No! No, no, you can see it in the shop.
―Couldn't I just have a look now? ―No.
You Well, no.
It's very sad, actually, um One of our writers, um, Robert, uh Helmets died in a tragic accident recently, and one of the things he said to me was not to let anyone see the magazine before it was in the shops.
―Why? ―Why? Um, I'll tell you why.
Because Well, he was about to tell me that before it happened, so I guess we'll never know.
―Will we, Alex? ―No.
He took the secret with him, to his watery grave.
―His watery grave? ―Some kind of boating accident, was it? Yes.
Ohh No, Hugo, it's OK, it's OK.
Come in.
This is Hugo.
Oh, Ray was just telling us about your friend Robert Helmets.
―Robert Helmets? ―Yeah.
He's dead.
Bob Helmets is dead? How did that happen? It was a bizarre yachting accident, apparently.
He really loved that yacht.
Well, you know, that's messing about in boats.
It's a lot of fun, but it has a darker side.
―Torpedoed, was he? ―No.
There was a hole in the boat.
He should have checked it before he bought it.
Oh, hey.
New issues are back.
No! Don't I should just say the content's a little racy.
Oh, get on the bus, Ray.
Takes a lot to shock me.
Right.
Well, we'd better be off.
―I should just say ―No, don't say anything.
It's I'm all right.
It's just I'm a little a bit disappointed.
I Eric I think I'll go now.
I have never ever seen that man cry, and he has seen some terrible, terrible things.
You bastards.
And if you've got any decency left at all, the cake? No, no.
Don't try and follow us.
(clears throat) I've got a surprise for you both.
Um, I've got the next issue of the magazine.
―Isn't that nice? ―Yeah.
We thought it would be really radical to actually support the police.
I think you're absolutely right.
―So, any plans for the week? ―Yeah, I'm joining the Communist Party.
Love peace, love peace, love love Peace lo-o-o-o-ove Peace, love love, peace, love love Peace love, peace love, peace love Peace love, peace peace peace peace Pe-e-e-e-eace love Love peace, love peace, love peace Peace peace peace, love peace, love And all that we're singing Is love peace, peace, love love No, no, really.
Really.
I'm just dropping in the Bob Helmets obituary.