Hitmen (2020) s02e02 Episode Script


Hey, Fran, it's me, sorry, slept through my alarm.
I'm slightly on the drag.
Feel free to park the car and come on wait inside.
Remember to use the west entrance.
Sorry, east entrance.
Hello? Hello.
Christ on a bike.
It's quite something, isn't it? It really is something.
Yeah, the V stands for vulnerability.
The real me stripped back.
I am woman.
Your vulnerability is showing.
I got you some flowers.
The quality of petrol station flowers these days.
You can hardly tell the difference.
That's so thoughtful Fran.
No wonder Jamie loves you so much.
Oh, I notice you're wearing shoes.
Oh, yes, I find they protect my feet.
My bad for not being here to greet you and show you our ways.
- Guess slippers.
- Right.
Is Jamie around? We should probably get going.
Fran, I want you to feel welcome here.
Use the pool, the gym, the hot tub, I have horses.
And there's a maze.
All great ways to decompress after a long day.
I like to keep things compressed.
Gives me the edge for work.
Our doors always open for friends and colleagues.
Jamie, what have you done to your hair? Swishy, Kat did it.
It's good to change things up a bit.
Out with the old and in with the new.
Hey, Jamie, let's Kat walk with a K.
That's great.
- Should we go? - I'd really like that.
Indoor monogram slippers made? I bet she has a hot milky drink on a silver salver before bed.
Only on weekends, I'll tell you what, Fran.
I feel like a movie star.
Well, you look like one.
Sorry, it's the hair mate.
And the fleas.
Mate, I bring life changing news.
Oh God, you're not getting blind, are you? No.
You know that new client who's giving us all those great jobs? - Mr.
- Yeah, well, he's got some international work and we're only in the bloody running for it! You know, we can be sent anywhere in the world.
How cool is that? As long as it's somewhere we can swim with turtles.
I'm not sure how many hits are needed in the Galapagos.
Nearly forgot.
Homemade! Wow.
- Oh.
- It's picnic Ted.
Kat hand makes these teddies for kids in need.
Is there nothing you can't do? Oh, it's just a silly something to keep an eye on you both.
Brain wave! Fran.
Why don't you come over after work for film night? I don't like to think of you on your lonesome with only your cats for company.
- I don't have any cats.
- Oh, sorry.
I just assumed you did.
No, I always found cats to be a bit sneaky.
- So film night? - Sure.
Why not? Bye bye.
I've been waiting for you.
Bole asked me to look after Fran today.
Sorry Kat.
Kat is a hecking good cook, there's probably one for you.
Well, you can share mine.
Don't worry, not really into personalised baked goods.
Any side of the target? - Not yet.
- Got to say this Mr.
V is coming through with some cracking jobs.
You all right with that thing mate? Just a bit, yeah, I watched a lot of tutorials on YouTube and I think now I'm pretty expert.
So what happened there? That's probably quite a long story to explain to a novice.
A technical issue.
Very, very specialised.
He's very security conscious, this guy.
What wouldn't you be? He's an international arms dealer.
He's got half the worlds assassins after him.
As far as snackage goes, we're firing on all cylinders in our hamper.
Oh, word of warning.
Kat does like to go a little bit heavy on the chilies in the salsa.
And you know what my insides are like? Oh, great.
We're working with a weapon of ass destruction all afternoon.
Can I have a go of the gun, mate? No, I don't think so.
It's a very, very specialised piece of kit.
And ultimately it needs to be handled.
That's exactly why I do not need the likes for you distracting me when I'm hard at work, okay? Stick to your binoculars.
All right, stroopy pants.
Ah, okay, right.
One across, one down from the target's apartment.
There's a couple of real old puffins there.
Oh yeah, I can see them.
That's basically us in 30 years time, mate.
Oh me piles are giving me a havoc.
I feel like I'm sitting on a pillow case full of marbles.
Oh, I know.
I mean lugging bodies around, then I've ruined the the ruddy rectum.
Go on, pass the butter and I'll get the spatula.
Just so you know, yours is the only bum I'd butter.
Oh, Fran, check out the place next to the target.
God, it looks well dodge.
They're probably just decorating.
I don't know, Fran.
Oh, hang on.
Target's back mate.
Look lively.
Here we go.
Oh God, he's wearing a bullet proof vest.
Okay, rethink.
I guess it'll have to be a head shot.
Oh, God.
How don't care how many people I killed.
I pulled it off.
What are you going to do with your cut you fucking animal! School fees, no, sure.
Well, I mean it's an investment in his future, isn't it? Listen we lay low, yeah? This deal's stirred up a lot of bad blood.
Look over your shoulder.
Okay, I've got him in my sights.
Right, Fran, take your time.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I do know how to breathe.
What do you think I've been doing all the time? Photosynthesising? Come on, mate.
Fuck, he's edgy.
Give me a chance.
I'll tell you what Fran, just forget the YouTube tutorial.
- Just take a pop at him.
- We can't just "take a pop at him".
What if I miss or someone else gets him? We basically kiss goodbye to any chance of working with our biggest clients.
Trust me, this is about timing.
Oh, buggering bollocks, he sat down.
He's watching an unboxing video? What's wrong with people? It's a very sick world, Fran.
You weren't lying about that salsa.
Cause that's making my eyes water.
Kats stoked about tonight.
She's sending through film suggestions.
I bet they all bullshit romcoms like "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants".
She actually really likes world cinema.
Oh my God.
That'll be us for two and a half hours watching a German subtitled film about a boy who falls in love with his fencing instructor.
Oh, that sounds good.
She'd like that.
Fran, are you all right with me living with Kat? You know, it's just temporary.
It's actually cool.
I really think that woman next door to the target might be about to do something awful.
Not our problem, mate.
Keep our eyes on the prize, yeah? Yeah, but the target's been sitting in that chair for the last one and a half Titanic's.
You really, really have to stop using the film Titanic as a unit of time.
Right though, he does look slumped down.
Why don't you go over there.
Flat D.
Just knock on the door, see if you can get him out the chair.
I'll go Come on, come on.
Our flatty.
That is good.
My gun? What she doing? Un-fucking-believable.
Fran, hi.
I'm just in the lift, big bong.
You've reached the fifth floor madam.
Firstly, how does the lift know that you're a woman.
And secondly, I saw you in the neighbour's flat.
- What are you doing? - Fran, I heard screaming.
I couldn't just ignore it.
You saw that weird woman in the mask.
Hello? - Yeah, come on.
- Fran? Help! Help! Come to Mama.
Just hold still.
Bollocks! You see how easy it is to wash this? It's only three parts.
That's why I love this machine.
Oh, oh.
Oh hey, help.
What the fuck do you want? I just heard screaming and I wanted to check if - everyone was okay.
- Oh him? Oh, no he's fine.
- Really? - Yeah.
Sensory deprivation BDSM.
- He's got a boner on, look.
- Please.
I'm helpless.
- So you're not torturing him? - No.
Well, yeah, but in a good way, this is made of rubber, look.
That is a weight off my mind.
I'll just get out of your hair.
You broke into my flat wearing a balaclava.
You really expect me to believe you're just a concerned citizen? I'm calling the police.
Actually, no, no, seriously, I can't allow you to call the police because Fran would be seriously cheesed off.
Who the fuck is Fran? Tickle me like my mother.
I need more.
I've been a naughty boy.
I've been a naughty boy.
I'm a worthless little slug! - My eyes.
- Who do you work for? What, do you think you're the only one who wants the money on this guy's head? Fuck you! That's who I work for.
That has got a kick.
Tell me about it.
What is an Aussie doing in our patch? I work internationally.
Oh, how do you find the travel with that? Sure, it messes with your sleep patterns, but it's all good.
How do you avoid the variable exchange rate? - Bitcoin.
- Of course, it's cheaper.
The only reason I ask is, I'm about to go international.
You? International? You're an old woman.
Who just shot your face off.
Fran? Why are you panting like a dog? It's fine, just a misunderstanding.
- Who's that? - It's complicated.
All right, good news.
The neighbour isn't a murdering.
Bad news, she now wants to call the police on me.
Just use your gun and threaten her.
I think my gun might be with you.
It was digging into my tummy when I was lying on my front.
Well, listen, just hurry up, right? There are other snipers after this guy.
I just had to deal with one of them.
Are you okay? Shit.
This one isn't made of rubber, bitch.
- Help.
- Not now, Michael! Jamie? Jamie? Jamie! Are you okay over there? I told you to lay low.
Do not come here you knob, you're on your own! Jamie, what the fuck was that? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Ok Fran, you're not gonna believe this.
I judo threw her through a table and she's out cold.
I've always said it mate.
You're basically John Wick in a sports bra.
Oh, it's, ah, Kat calling, I'm going to pop you on hold just in case something urgent.
What could be more urgent? Don't you put me on hold.
I'm on hold.
- Fran? - Thank God for that.
Okay, we've got Kat in a three way conversation.
- I've merged the calls.
- Sorry, what? Have you decided on the film yet, Fran? Hi, Kat.
No, I haven't, actually, because we're at work and Jamie is about to have a face to face with a client right now.
Kat, I'm hanging up.
I'm gonna call you back, right? Fran, do I have time to get out of here? No, he's coming.
Just hide.
I try to take him out before he gets to you? Jamie, I can't get the shot.
So what am I going to do? You can have to sneak into his flat and got a gun and - just finish the job yourself.
- Okay, sure.
So we sneak into a heavily armed guy's apartment and steal a gun.
Easy fucking peasy.
Well, it would be easy fucking peasy if you'd actually remembered your gun, instead of drooling over Kats miniature sandwiches.
Have you got a problem with me drooling over Kat's miniature sandwiches when she's been nothing but good to me at a time I needed it the most? Are we still talking about the miniature sandwiches? Please.
If I feel any more worthless.
I'm going to burst through my underpants.
Okay, now you've got a gun.
Well done.
Oh, come on.
How am I supposed to reload that from over here? I've got ya.
Okay, here we go.
Stop moving.
Get up.
Okay, where are you? There you are.
I see what you're doing, bring him to me.
- Who sent you? - Ahhh Deliveroo? Just stand still.
Here we go.
What the fuck! Fuck! Who the fuck are you? Okay, I got you.
Right between the eyes.
Nice one Fran, you got him right between the eyes.
Well, you know me, I'm a natural, but as long as you're all right.
- Cheers, mate.
- I mean, the crossfire nearly threw me off, I won't lie.
It was tough conditions.
But when you are a natural marksman like me, you find that you can adapt to any Sorry.
Listen, Caroline, I'm a pathetic little worm and everything.
But I've got a client dinner tonight.
Can we move this along a bit? Caroline? Caroline? I feel a bit like Tom Cruise in Top Gun.
- Short and religious? - High and excited.
We did it.
We did.
We bloody well did.
Listen, I'm sorry if I was stressy.
I really want this Mr.
V thing to work out.
Yeah, I know.
Me too.
Oh, now, right shoes for Kat's driveway.
- I'm thinking a monogram Croc.
- Not a Croc on the driveway.
The gravel will travel through the holes.
Gravel can travel.
Hang on.
Oh, it's from Kat.
She's feeling a bit off colour.
I'm gonna have to cancel.
Just wants to do a housemate thing.
I'm really sorry mate.
- No, don't be silly.
- I can come to yours.
No, listen, I'm gonna share a bottle of wine with all of my non-existence cats.
- You sure? - I'm sure.
- Sure, sure? - You bet ya.
See you tomorrow.
- Bye! - Bye.

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