Hollywood Darlings (2017) s02e01 Episode Script


1 A Pop original series.
- I am starving.
- I know.
Me too.
Avocado toast.
That's why millennials can't own homes.
Yeah, right? It's so expensive.
You guys ready to order? Yes, I'll go first.
I'm gonna have the Caesar salad, please, with chicken.
- Okay, great.
- Yeah, can I get the pesto chicken panini with sweet potato fries? Ooh, I'm stealing some of those.
- Great.
- We can share.
I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to, like, kind of alter my meal just a little bit just because I have a lot of food intolerances - Here we go.
- And I'm so sorry, - 'cause I know it's a pain.
- It's not a pain.
- I got you, girl.
Do it.
- Thank you.
- Whatever you need, yeah.
- Thank you for understanding.
I mean, I'm not like one of those people that's like, "Oh, yeah, I've got, like, a gluten intolerance," and they just say that because they just want to be skinny, but, like, no, mine's, like, really, really bad, and I get so sick, I, like, I could die.
- Now she's gonna die.
- Now she's gonna die.
It's not necessarily, like, die per say, but it's, like - Maybe we should start I - A foundation.
- A foundation.
- Like days upon days We should make, like, Bev Strong bracelets.
You don't have time to be laid up in bed; - you're a busy working woman.
- See, you understand.
See these two, they just don't understand.
Just order the fucking salad.
[upbeat music.]
- No chicken - Okay.
- No blue cheese - Okay.
- No onions - Okay.
The salmon.
How is that cooked? It's pan-seared with a light butter sauce.
Ooh, no butter.
- What does she eat? - I don't know.
Do you have avocado oil? Yeah, for you, I do.
- I'll do that.
That's great.
- Okay, great.
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
The question of the day today is, huh? I hate going out to eat with you.
- It's the worst experience ever.
- It's, like, a 20-minute order.
- I'm sorry.
- You guys, hi.
- Marla.
- Hi, Marla.
- Hey.
- So good to see you.
Good to see you.
I love that you guys have lunch together.
That's adorable.
- Aww.
- Yeah, that's what we do.
You look cute.
What are you doing here? Oh, I'm just meeting a girlfriend for lunch.
- Oh.
- Oh, fun.
I'll say good-bye before I leave.
- Please do.
- This is like old times.
- So cute.
- Bye.
Come say good-bye.
Oh, Marla, she's just the sweetest.
We should hang out with her more.
Sorry, I'm detecting some resting bitch face over here.
No, this is actually active bitch face.
I thought you guys were friends.
Wasn't she just on "Fuller House"? It's like the cast in "Sex and the City.
" We only talked when there were lines.
Yeah, she and I haven't really talked since, like, 2000, after that horrific New Year's Eve party.
What party? Wait.
Oh, my God.
How do you not remember this? How do I remember this and you don't remember this? I don't remember an entire decade of my life.
Hold on; I know what you're talking about.
Y2K, 1999.
This was when we were in our frenemy phase.
- Yes.
- We were never frenemies.
- Mm.
- You were kind of bitchy - back then, Bev.
- Yeah.
Yeah, you were kind of a pain in the ass, but anyway, it was the party at Will Fray-dell's house.
No, sorry, it's Will Free-dell - from "Boy Meets World.
" - No, Fre-delly.
Anyways, what happened at this party? It was New Year's Eve 1999.
Remember, everyone was partying their asses off, because we thought all the banks were about to burst into flames and turn the world into a scene from "Mad Max.
" Anyway, Will was still playing the hot dumb brother on "Boy Meets World.
" I think it might have been in its last season.
So on New Year's, he throws this huge bash and invites all the pretty people in town, which unfortunately meant Marla.
Oh, yeah.
I remember.
Will was all over her.
I'll talk to you later.
I'd like to do a shot.
This one's for you.
Oh-ho-ho, Lakin.
Oh, my God.
I haven't seen you in forever.
So good to see you.
Happy New Year's, guys.
- Happy New Year.
- I'll be back.
Oh, my God, Jodie.
Weren't you goth back then? Oh, Jodie, I almost didn't recognize you under all that.
Mm, where'd you go shopping, Alicia Silverstone's closet? Heh, what are they doing, an Addams Family spin-off? Ew, Beverley brought a bodyguard? Of course she did.
Oh, hey, girls.
I didn't realize it was a costume party.
Whatever, Buffy the Vampire Lamer.
- Hey.
- Hey, Will.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey, Will.
I'm gonna go get a drink.
I'm gonna get one too, but not because you are.
My stomach is as empty as my soul.
Oh, yeah.
I'm starting to remember some of this now.
Blech, that doesn't even taste like cherry.
So what have you guys been up to lately? Well, obviously, I've been super busy shooting "7th Heaven.
" It looks like we're gonna be the number one show on the network again.
I mean, you can only do so many red carpets.
I mean, it's exhausting.
Mm-hmm, sure.
Well, I've been doing something useful with my life, like getting a college degree.
Mm, yeah, in what, skank-enomics? As if.
Major in communications, minor in women's studies.
Mm, of course.
What have you been doing, hanging out at graveyards? [snickers.]
Actually, I've been working on my poetry and figuring out how to carve people's names into my arms without leaving a permanent scar.
Why did Will invite Marla? The two of them look pretty cozy.
That doesn't matter.
'Cause Will invited me here personally as his date.
Wait, wait, wait.
Go back.
I did not have a bodyguard.
Are you kidding me? You just had a guy following you around all the time for no reason? No, no, no, no.
That was just a family friend that my parents hired to go with me to events to make sure that I was safe.
Oh, my God.
I had a bodyguard.
Bev, you're so sheltered, like, you're sheltered from being sheltered.
You're like the Russian nesting dolls of sheltered.
I'm so doing that to my kids.
Anyway, what happened next? Let's get something straight.
Will invited me here as his date tonight.
We've already hooked up and are probably going to later tonight.
You two are really cute, but clearly I am Will's date.
Just ask him.
Yeah, they're a match made in "7th Heaven.
" Whatever.
Listen, Will needs a real woman, and you two little girls are not gonna cut the mustard.
Yeah, this is gonna be really embarrassing for you two.
Well, why don't we just go clear this up and ask Will himself? God, he is such a man.
He's, like, 20 going on 40.
Who wants a beer, huh? Whoo! - Refill? - I'm sorry.
Is there mustard in this dressing? Oh, yeah.
There's loads of it.
Wonder how he's aged.
- I'll just eat around it.
- I'll take it back.
- I'm really sorry.
- Don't be.
It's fine.
- I I don't I - It's fine.
I got you.
- Are you sure? - Yes, we're sisters.
- Okay, thank you.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I think she's my new best friend.
Yeah, till she spits in your food.
Anyway Hey, can I steal you for a sec? Of course.
Wait, wait, wait.
Are you sure were goth back then? I don't remember being scared and annoyed by you.
You know what? You're right.
I think I was in my rave girl phase.
Hey, can I steal you for a sec? Sure.
So love the coat.
- Thank you.
- Looks like you murdered a rainbow.
Oh, that's so sweet.
- It's a great pool, right? - Yeah, it's awesome.
It took me six months to dig that out.
- Really? - Yeah, did it with my bare hands.
- Wow.
- Yeah, I like to feel the earth, you know.
You know, I wanted to ask you a question.
I mean, I was wondering why you would invite me here if you also invited Beverley and Christine.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I was just inviting them to be friends.
You're the one I really wanted to spend time with.
Oh, well, that's what I thought.
This bud's for you.
Oh, that's so sweet.
So, you know, the news has been talking a lot about this Y2K thing.
It sounds pretty serious.
Looks like the world's gonna come to an end.
Maybe we should go out with a bang.
Hey, Will.
Sorry, I need to borrow you.
Oh, sure.
You guys like Chris Isaak? And two, three, four [rock music.]
Wow, you're you're really good at this.
Look at look at how you're beating me there.
- [laughs.]
- Must just be a little - beginner's luck.
- That's got to be got to be it, 'cause there's now way - you're gonna beat me at this.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah, see, look what happened.
See how I just passed you right there.
- Wow.
- Oh.
Yeah, I figured your your delicate little girl hands and wrists would get in the way eventually, and they did.
It's what happens with women when they drive real cars too, - so - Uh-huh, yeah.
Oh, look at that coming from the outside.
Good for oh.
- And I - Oh, okay.
- Ohh.
- Ahh.
Oh, my delicate little girl hands just beat your ass.
Ha-ha-ha, whew.
So listen, I don't know what's going on tonight, but I'm pretty sure you invited me here as your date, and yet Beverley and Jodie showed up, so, Will, I'm just gonna be honest.
I don't play thirds.
No, no, no, no, I just invited them as friends.
You're the one I wanted to spend time with.
Good, 'cause I really like you.
Oh, I like you too.
This is for you.
Is that a bathroom flower? Yeah, la twa-let floret in German.
So romantic.
Yeah, I try to be.
- What's wrong? - I'm sorry.
Just thinking about this whole Y2K thing.
It's got me on edge.
I know, it's so scary.
Yeah, there's a chance the entire world's gonna end.
Maybe we should spend our last moments enjoying one another.
Why don't we put the "lips" in "apocalypse"? What do you say double or nothing, huh? - Okay.
- Excuse me, Will.
Bev needs to see you.
I need to steal him for a sec.
We're kind of in the middle of something.
So tell Bev to talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't understand.
Will, it's a Bev-mergency.
Thank you.
All right, I'm gonna go with him.
I don't know your name, but I'm gonna call you Brent, - all right? - Hello.
Have you seen my pool, Brent? That took me six months to dig that out.
[upbeat music.]
Hey, Bev, what's up? Hey.
Hey, Will.
Hey, listen, I'll be right up there if you need me.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Hey, Will, I wanted to ask you, what's the deal with you inviting Jodie and Christine as your dates? I thought we were No, no, I just invited them as friends.
You, you're the one I really wanted to spend time with.
Oh, okay.
Well, yeah, that totally makes sense.
I mean, because we're both on hit TV shows, and we're not our characters.
I mean, I'm not an angel, and you're clearly not an idiot.
No, not according to my mom.
Hey, thank you.
This is for you.
Oh, that's so sweet.
You know, with this whole Y2K thing, and I really loved you on "7th Heaven," have you ever been in 69th heaven? [upbeat music.]
Oh, that's my jam.
Hold that thought.
Excuse me, excuse me.
- Uh, this is my jam.
- Hey, ow.
- Back up, Mitchell.
- Excuse me.
- Oh, God, are you kidding me? - This is my favorite song.
'Cause I ain't gonna be with you And baby that means we're through The things that you put me through And now you don't call me boo 'Cause I ain't gonna be with you And baby that means we're through Never coming back The things that you put me through Oh, my God.
I'm through with you boy - Yeah, I won.
- What the hell was that? Whatever, like you would ever be on a dance show.
That was that was something.
All right, well, hey, everybody, it's almost midnight.
And, you know, we're almost out of champagne.
I know we have more in the basement if someone would like to run down there and grab [together.]
I'll do it.
I'll get it.
Mike, I got a great idea for a TV show.
I'm talking you get a bunch of girls together and get them drunk, and they will fight over literally any guy.
He doesn't even have to be great.
Should we go get a drink before it's midnight? Yeah, definitely.
I've got to stop and wash my eyes real quick, but yeah, let's go.
I got it! I got it! - Yep, I got here first.
- Wait, no, no.
Okay, excuse me.
It's got to around here somewhere.
Wha? What? [together.]
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
- Where is the lock? - Wait.
What do you mean? - Will! Will! - Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry; I didn't realize that there's almonds.
You know what? Maybe it's just easier I have I have these cards.
Maybe do you mind just taking these back to the chef? I can't do anything with the red ones.
Are those laminated? God, it's like food Uno, but you always lose.
I'm taking this; I'm gonna go back to the kitchen Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
It's fine.
It's fine.
I don't mean to be that person; I'm sorry.
- You think she hates me? - Both: Yes.
More importantly, who hated us enough to lock us in that room? [together.]
Will! Will! Wait.
Hold up.
I'm wrong.
I wasn't in my raver girl phase.
I was deep in my skater girl phase.
- Man, you had a lot of phases.
- Yeah.
I was trying to find my voice.
Will! Anyone! Nobody's coming.
Don't worry; Will will noticed I'm gone and come and find me.
You mean he's gonna notice that I'm not there.
Yeah, well, you're both wrong.
But I'm sure he'll be here to rescue me any minute.
I think there was an episode of "Step by Step" where we accidentally locked the baby in a room.
Yeah, I feel like there was a "Full House" episode too where we got locked in a garage.
What did we do? Hello? Oh, God, these things are way bigger in the movies.
Tom Cruise must be a tiny human.
You know, who has a basement in California anyway? I mean, is this thing soundproof? It's very "Silence of the Lambs" if you ask me.
Ooh, I love lambs.
Why would you want to silence them? He's probably recording an album.
Anyone who's anyone has their own album these days.
Have you heard the new David Charvet CD? - Amazing.
- 911, what's your Hello, 911? Yes, yes, it's an emergency.
We're trapped.
Yeah, we're at Will Fra-delly's house.
- It's Fri-dell.
- No, it's Free-dle.
Will Fra-delly's house.
Yeah, the basement.
Hello? Hello.
Ugh, I wonder if I get service down here.
What time is it? 11:55.
There's only five minutes for Will to find me for our New Year's Eve kiss.
Oh, this is not how I thought my night was gonna go.
Yeah, this is literally the last place that I wanted to be is trapped down here with you guys.
Everything was going just fine anyway until you pulled him off.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Well, if you hadn't ruined my moment, then I would still be up in his bedroom right now.
Bedroom? Will told me you guys were just friends.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's what he said about you two.
You guys, he said the exact same thing to me.
Seriously? How could I have fallen for such a piece of shit? - Heh, we all did.
- You know what? He is an idiot like his character.
- Mm.
- Actually, yeah.
I'm sorry, you guys.
Me too.
Me three.
I really missed you.
Oh, I've missed you guys too.
We always had so much fun together.
I felt like after "Full House" ended, I don't know, you guys didn't want to talk to my anymore, like I wasn't cool or something.
Well, and I just felt bad when "7th Heaven" got started.
I didn't want to rub it in your face.
I just felt guilty.
I get that.
Look, "Step by Step" ended, and I started college.
I made some new friends.
I don't know.
I didn't think you guys would understand.
I may have taken the star thing a little too far, just got a little excited.
You know, I know that it could all just, like, go away in a minute.
I mean, look at you guys.
I mean, with the whole Y2K, like, poof.
[both scoff.]
To be honest, I'm just trying to find myself, right? I mean, look at me.
I'm not a skater.
I don't even know how to skateboard.
Oh, please.
All these guys think I'm like Al.
I'm a tomboy, and I just want to play video games with them.
I mean, I wore this ridiculous dress just so they would look at me like a girl.
Truth is, I'm freezing.
My feet feel like mini meat loafs in these shoes.
I don't even know what this is, but, you know, I'm not a slut.
We know, Bev.
- Yeah, nobody thinks that.
- No, I didn't okay, well I mean, really, why were we fighting over a guy? I mean, hello.
Chicks before dicks.
Don't do that motion when you say that.
- Chicks before - No, don't, no.
I don't no, not a cheerleading move.
It's a people say that.
Not you people, though.
I love you guys.
I love you too.
- Friends? - We're always friends.
Hey, listen, so I don't think anyone is gonna kiss Will at midnight, no.
But we could kiss each other.
I'm kidding.
I mean, unless you want to.
Okay, we need to get the fuck out of this basement, 'cause she's starting to creep me out.
- No, don't do that.
- Don't, don't, nope.
That is really cold.
I'm not wearing many clothes.
Whoa, I just saw everything, full - Happy New Year.
- Yeah.
I saw the ball drop.
Oh, God.
Okay, you guys, on three, ready? [together.]
One, two, three.
Oh! Hey! Hey, my pogo stick.
What were you guy still doing in the basement? - We got locked in there.
- That's crazy.
- What's going on? - Where is everybody? Yeah, somebody called the cops.
They showed up, cleared the whole place out.
Can you believe that? What? I mean, why would someone call the cops? That's crazy.
I mean, we were locked in the basement, so Locked in the base now, who would do that? Yeah, I don't know.
It's it's really strange.
I wonder.
Well, this has been real fun.
Man, it's been so great having you here, but I think we're gonna, you know, Blockbuster and chill, so maybe you want to Yeah, you guys should probably just, you know, take off.
Oh, my God.
Marla was the one who locked us in there.
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
That's why I hate her.
Here you go.
Oh, thank you.
This is perfect.
Well, Bev, want a side of air with that? Is it purified? God, I can't believe we never put this together before.
Of course she just wanted more time with Will, because she could not handle le competition.
- Ohh.
- Don't do that.
I just saw Marla go into the bathroom.
You know what? Maybe we should just go in there and have a conversation with her.
Yeah, I mean, it would be the mature thing to do.
- Stop it.
I can't.
- Okay.
Oh, hey.
Oh, you're all here.
Jodie, I always feel like we're meeting in bathrooms.
Don't worry; I won't make you smoke.
We have a little something we want to say.
We forgive you.
Uh, yeah, totally.
- For what? - You know, it doesn't really matter.
I mean, a long time ago, right? The important thing now is that we're friends.
Um, I guess.
I I don't really know what you're talking about.
Okay, we'll see you later.
- Yeah, good bathroom chat.
- Okay, bye.
Good to see you.
We're not actually gonna forgive her, right? - Oh, hell no.
- No way.
[muttering indistinctly.]
Let's MacGyver this shit.
All right, perfect.
Pull tighter.
Got it.
Payback's a bitch.
- Well know - Hello? She did bring us together, so, I mean, it wasn't all that bad.
Are you guys still out there? 'Cause the door is locked.
- That's true.
- Yeah.
Bev, Christine, Jodie - Ah, fuck her.
- Yeah.
I'm stuck in here, you guys.
This is kind of freaking me out.
Will you let me out? Hello? Guys, anybody.
Can anybody hear me? I'm stuck in the bathroom.
You know, we're almost out of champagne.
I know we have more in the basement if someone would like to run down there and [together.]
Oh! I'll do it! I can do it! Should we go get a drink before it's midnight? Yeah, definitely.
I've got to stop and wash my eyes real quick, but yeah, let's go.
I got it! I got it! - Yep, I got here first.
- Wait, no, no.
Okay, it's got to be around here.
So annoying.