Home Movie: The Princess Bride (2020) s01e01 Episode Script
Chapter One: As You Wish
1
- CHILD: "Has it got any sports in it?"
- I got it.
[LAUGHING]
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
- [VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]
- [COUGHING]
[BUTTONS HITTING RAPIDLY]
- Hi, honey.
- Hey, Mom.
- You feeling any better?
- A little bit.
- MOM: Guess what.
- What?
- Your grandfather's here.
- Mom, can't you tell him I'm sick?
You're sick, that's why he's here.
But he's gonna pinch
my cheeks. I hate that.
Hey!
How's the sickie, huh?
[FLAPPING]
I'm just gonna leave
you two pals alone, okay?
Yes. Great.
[KISSES]
I got ya a special gift.
[FANTASY MUSIC PLAYING]
What is it?
♪
- A book?
- Yes, that's right.
When I was your age,
television was called books.
And this is a very special book.
This is a book that my father
used to read to me when I was sick,
and I used to read this to your father.
And today, I'm gonna read it to you.
Has it got any sports in it?
Are you kidding me? It's got fencing,
fighting, torture, revenge, giants,
chases, escapes.
True love. Miracles.
- Doesn't sound too bad.
- [TV CLICKS OFF]
- I'll try and stay awake.
- Oh! Well, thank you very much.
Your vote of confidence
is is overwhelming.
The Princess Bride by S.
Morgenstern, chapter one.
"Buttercup was raised on a small
farm in the country of Florin.
Her favorite past times
were riding her horse
and tormenting the farm
boy that worked there.
His name was Westley, but
she never called him that."
Isn't that a wonderful beginning?
GRANDSON: Yeah, it's really good.
Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle.
I want to see my face in it by morning.
As you wish.
GRANDFATHER: "'As you wish'
is all he ever said to her."
Farm boy? Fill this with water.
- Please?
- As you wish.
GRANDFATHER: "That day,
she was amazed to discover
that when he was saying 'As you wish'
what he meant was 'I love you.'"
- Farm boy?
- GRANDFATHER: "And even more amazing
was the day she realized
she truly loved him back."
Would you fetch me that pitcher?
♪
As you wish.
♪
What is this? Are you
trying to trick me?
Where's the sports?
- Is this a kissing story?
- Wait.
- Just wait.
- When's it get good?
Keep your shirt on. Let me read.
"It was a very emotional
time for Buttercup."
- But I fear I'll never see you again.
- Of course you will.
But what if something happens to you?
Hear this now. I will
always come for you.
But how can you be so sure?
This is true love.
You think this happens every day?
♪
GRANDFATHER 2: "Westley
didn't reach his destination.
His ship was attacked by
the Dread Pirate Roberts
who never left captives alive.
♪
"When Buttercup got the news
that Westley was murdered "
Murdered by pirates is good.
GRANDFATHER 2: "She went into
her room and shut the door,
and for days, she
neither slept nor ate."
I will never love again.
[TRUMPET PLAYS FANFARE]
My people!
A month from now, our country will
celebrate its 500th anniversary.
And on that sundown,
I shall marry a lady
who was once a commoner like yourselves.
- MAN 1: No way!
- MAN 2: Really?
Would you like to meet her?
[CHEERING]
My people!
The Princess Buttercup!
[FANFARE PLAYING]
♪
GRANDFATHER 2: "Buttercup's
emptiness consumed her.
Although the law of the land
gave Humperdinck the
right to choose his bride,
she did not love him."
[CRIES]
[CRIES]
- A word, m'lady.
- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Check the gate!
- CHILD: "Has it got any sports in it?"
- I got it.
[LAUGHING]
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
- [VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]
- [COUGHING]
[BUTTONS HITTING RAPIDLY]
- Hi, honey.
- Hey, Mom.
- You feeling any better?
- A little bit.
- MOM: Guess what.
- What?
- Your grandfather's here.
- Mom, can't you tell him I'm sick?
You're sick, that's why he's here.
But he's gonna pinch
my cheeks. I hate that.
Hey!
How's the sickie, huh?
[FLAPPING]
I'm just gonna leave
you two pals alone, okay?
Yes. Great.
[KISSES]
I got ya a special gift.
[FANTASY MUSIC PLAYING]
What is it?
♪
- A book?
- Yes, that's right.
When I was your age,
television was called books.
And this is a very special book.
This is a book that my father
used to read to me when I was sick,
and I used to read this to your father.
And today, I'm gonna read it to you.
Has it got any sports in it?
Are you kidding me? It's got fencing,
fighting, torture, revenge, giants,
chases, escapes.
True love. Miracles.
- Doesn't sound too bad.
- [TV CLICKS OFF]
- I'll try and stay awake.
- Oh! Well, thank you very much.
Your vote of confidence
is is overwhelming.
The Princess Bride by S.
Morgenstern, chapter one.
"Buttercup was raised on a small
farm in the country of Florin.
Her favorite past times
were riding her horse
and tormenting the farm
boy that worked there.
His name was Westley, but
she never called him that."
Isn't that a wonderful beginning?
GRANDSON: Yeah, it's really good.
Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle.
I want to see my face in it by morning.
As you wish.
GRANDFATHER: "'As you wish'
is all he ever said to her."
Farm boy? Fill this with water.
- Please?
- As you wish.
GRANDFATHER: "That day,
she was amazed to discover
that when he was saying 'As you wish'
what he meant was 'I love you.'"
- Farm boy?
- GRANDFATHER: "And even more amazing
was the day she realized
she truly loved him back."
Would you fetch me that pitcher?
♪
As you wish.
♪
What is this? Are you
trying to trick me?
Where's the sports?
- Is this a kissing story?
- Wait.
- Just wait.
- When's it get good?
Keep your shirt on. Let me read.
"It was a very emotional
time for Buttercup."
- But I fear I'll never see you again.
- Of course you will.
But what if something happens to you?
Hear this now. I will
always come for you.
But how can you be so sure?
This is true love.
You think this happens every day?
♪
GRANDFATHER 2: "Westley
didn't reach his destination.
His ship was attacked by
the Dread Pirate Roberts
who never left captives alive.
♪
"When Buttercup got the news
that Westley was murdered "
Murdered by pirates is good.
GRANDFATHER 2: "She went into
her room and shut the door,
and for days, she
neither slept nor ate."
I will never love again.
[TRUMPET PLAYS FANFARE]
My people!
A month from now, our country will
celebrate its 500th anniversary.
And on that sundown,
I shall marry a lady
who was once a commoner like yourselves.
- MAN 1: No way!
- MAN 2: Really?
Would you like to meet her?
[CHEERING]
My people!
The Princess Buttercup!
[FANFARE PLAYING]
♪
GRANDFATHER 2: "Buttercup's
emptiness consumed her.
Although the law of the land
gave Humperdinck the
right to choose his bride,
she did not love him."
[CRIES]
[CRIES]
- A word, m'lady.
- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Check the gate!