Hotel Transylvania: The Series (2017) s01e05 Episode Script

1 [THUNDER BOOMING.]
[MUSIC.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SNORING.]
[BLOB SPEAKING BLOBBISH.]
But Dad, I'm not too small to have big ideas! [SPEAKING BLOBBISH.]
[BELL RINGING.]
[SPEAKING BLOBBISH.]
Ugh! Who? What? Where? Oh, hi! Welcome to Spa Transyl [YAWNING.]
vania! A place so relaxing, um, ah, even the employees fall asleep! Ha! Some employees.
Hi, Mavis! I thought you were working in the gift shop? I am.
I mean I was.
Why is all this cool stuff so out of reach? Mavis, you sly bat.
[BARKING.]
[GLASS BREAKING.]
I also did some time in room service.
Wasn't to my taste.
Room service! Voilá! Eggs three ways! [CLUCKING IN HORROR.]
Oops! Room 999.
That's on me! And now, I'm here! [GASPING.]
You subscribe to Brew-haha, the magazine for Witch Humor? - My dad says I'm too little for that.
- No way! - Knock-knock.
- Who's there? - Witch.
- Witch who? Witch spa product are you gonna try first? "Drac don't Crack.
" MAVIS: Drac don't Crack! I'm 114, but I don't look a day over 85! Oh, brother.
"99.
9% blob?" You make this, Daddy? [SPEAKING BLOBBISH.]
Aw, I wish you'd let me make some of my ideas.
Blob Water, for when you feel like something [MUSIC.]
in-between water and ice.
[SPEAKING BLOBBISH.]
It's so unfair! I'm tired of having my ideas ignored and being told I'm too small and cute.
[GROWLING AND BARKING.]
Aw, adorbs.
Sorry.
Y'know, smallness can be a plus.
I mean, you're the hero whose tiny arm unlocks the door when your dad forgets his key.
I wish he'd see it that way.
Stop wishing and start doing! Like me.
My dad never said [MIMICS DRACULA.]
"Mavis, make the hotel better," I just did! Ooh! For me? My dearest, Mavy Wavy.
I've been hearing a lot about your "helping out" at the hotel.
Maybe cool it on that front for a while.
Love, Dad.
[GROWLING.]
Wendy, it's time to show my Uh, your dad just what I Uh, we Uh, you can do! Mr.
Blob, you look stressed.
Let Hotel "Transylvani-ahh" help you.
Relaxation is our specialty! [GRUNTING AND YELPING.]
Follow me! This sauna gives heat that can't be beat! [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy pard'ner.
You're not ready for sauna duty just yet.
Watch and burn.
[BLOWING.]
Now for Operation: Show Our Dads They're Wrong! Code name: Gum Drop! We can work on names on the way.
To the Blob Factory! [LAUGHING GIDDILY.]
[BEEPS.]
WENDY: This is where the magic happens.
Blobburger in a can, blob on the cob, Easter Blobbys.
- So, what does your dad do all day? - He pretty much just hooks himself up to the extractor and spews blob.
That's it! What? What? Something caught in my jelly? - To the Blob Extractor! - What?! [POWERING DOWN.]
Time to show our dads who's boss! In there? No, no way.
No, no.
No, I'm not ready.
Hmm, when you say "I'm not ready," all I hear is [SPEAKING BLOBBISH.]
"You're a purple pickle butt?" My Blobbish is a little rusty.
Now, get in! Um, I don't know, Mavis.
Wendy, this is your chance! Right.
Whoo! He-he! I'm doing it! If we're gonna prove you can handle more responsibility, we'll have to move faster than this.
Is there a turbo button? I dunno.
Check the manual.
It's in Blobbish.
And if I know my Blobbish - Which you don't.
- I think [SPEAKING BLOBBISH.]
Means "pull this large, obvious lever.
" [STRAINING.]
[ALARM SOUNDING.]
Uh-oh.
- What? - I said "uh-oh!" "Uh-oh?" Oh! Uh-oh.
Whoa, the good news is your dad's not gonna think you're too small.
Holy rabies! What took you so long? I said it was an emergency.
Uh, that's why we stopped for emergency tacos.
[BUZZING.]
And then, when you said it was a really big emergency, we had to go back and get 'em supersized.
[RUMBLING.]
Whoo! Whoopie! Ha-ha! HANK: Whoa! Wendy got super-sized.
Wow! I can see the hotel from up here.
And Hank's bald spot! - It's a new scalp, okay? - Just, uh, stay right there.
Don't make any sudden movements until I figure out how to make you small again.
No way! I've been shrunken down my whole life.
Now's my chance to be big, big, big! So cool! Less cool! That so counts as a "sudden movement!" Whoa! Whoo! I always wanted a polka-dot carpet! [BOTH GASPING.]
Oh, no! My baby's stuck in a well.
- Oh, no! My baby's stuck in that blob! - Don't worry! We'll have your baby back in that well in no time! I'm not too small for this ride! [LOWING.]
We have to find a way to stop her before someone else does! Who and which army? Code Blob! Code Blob! [ALARM SOUNDING.]
[MUSIC.]
Uh, that witch army! Er, roger, Witch Squadron! Release Shrink-O-Sprinkle at will! [GIGGLING.]
Stop! It's so tickly! This blob is just too big to shrink! Return to base for reinforcements! [GASPING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Wendy, you need to get small again, like now, before you hurt somebody.
No way, I just started to get down with my big self.
Check out the crew I roll with.
Besides, my dad hasn't seen me yet! [GASPING.]
Your dad! Hank, you're in charge.
Do not let Wendy leave.
Does it look like I have any control over this situation? Huh, why is the door locked? Where'd he go? [GASPING.]
There he is! Holy rabies! The heat from the sauna shrunk him, and it's all my fault! [HIGH-PITCHED BLOBBISH SOUNDS.]
And he's.
.
Thirsty for ketchup? Girl, you cannot speak Blobbish.
[SIGHING.]
He does look pretty relaxed though.
It's It's jammed! With a zombie finger? [STRAINING.]
Let me try! [STRAINING.]
And our hands are too big to get it out! That's it! Too big! Sauna! Shrink! Small! Mr.
Blob Tennis! Armpit! Fire Ants! Oh, I thought we were doing a shouting out random words thing.
Ugh! No! We're doing a shrinking thing! Mr.
Hydraberg! And, uh, other Mr.
Hydrabergs, I need your help.
[MUSIC.]
Ooh, a party hat! Whee! [LAUGHING.]
- MAVIS: Wendy! - Oh, hi, Mavis! Your Dad is in trouble and needs your help.
What? Oh, no! Wait, he needs my help? He must've heard that I'm big now! Oh, no, no, no, no, he needs your small-Wendy help! We need your tiny blobby hands to unlock the sauna.
This is your big uh, little chance! Okay, I'm in! Uh - How am I gonna get small again? - No prob.
[WHISTLING.]
Go ahead, kid.
You're ready.
- Oh, boy! Really? - Yes, really! Stop! It's so tickley! Boom drac-a-lacka! WITCH: Situation now under control, squadron! [MOOING.]
- My baby! - Wendy, you're back! How does it feel? Between you and me, exactly the same.
But in a good way! Let's go rescue my dad! To the spa! - Yes! - You did it, Wendy! Daddy! I'm here to save you! Daddy? [High-pitched Blobbish sounds.]
Oh! You're so tiny! Don't worry, I won't hold it against you.
I know how it feels.
Now that I have your attention, let's talk Blob Water.
Blob Water, for when you don't want ice and you don't want water.
You want something in-between.
[ORGAN PLAYING.]
[ECHOING.]
# Slug guts in my hair # Slug guts everywhere And I don't really care! [SQUEALING HAPPILY.]
Mavis! Can you believe Jett Black is coming here today? Is that today? Huh.
Must've slipped my mind.
[SIGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Come on, you think I'm gonna get all blubbery over some teen rock god? [FEEDBACK.]
[LOUD SOLO PLAYING.]
[SQUEALING HAPPILY.]
My bad.
Sorry, think your jaw came unhinged there for a sec.
- Hey, I'm - Ridiculous gor-mous! I mean, what I'm trying to say is hi, I'm Hotel.
Welcome to Mavis Transylspatula! Smooth.
You've got a little, ya know, something Yeah.
[GASPING AND SCREAMING.]
Ugh, what a fan girl.
I mean, as if we'd go all fan boy over phlegm ball superstar [GASPING.]
Noosh La Loosh! Sign my face! No! No! Sign his leg! It's the Nooshster! [GASPS.]
[GROANING.]
I can't believe how bad I blew it with Jett.
So, you didn't give him your song? No, I didn't give him my song.
I had a whole plan, too.
He'd read it, love it, beg me to record it, and boom drac-a-lacka, number one hit! It would have been so easy.
It was gonna be! Until the spider in my teeth.
How's Jett gonna take me seriously after that? You don't know how lucky you are to have a reflection, Wendy.
Blob freeze? [SQUEALING.]
Very good, Monsieur Black! Your room service will arrive in 15 minutes! Or whenever it is ready! Hmm, that gives me an idea.
[MUSIC.]
Okay, 15 minutes to intercept Jett's order, and get a second chance at a first impression! Razor sharp widow's peak, check! Dazzling white fangs, check! Blood drained cheeks for that ghostly pale complexion, check! [GASPING.]
Holy rabies! I'm late! Jett's next hit song, check! [SYNTHESIZER PLAYING.]
[KNOCKING.]
Oh, hey.
Spider fangs, right.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah! See, uh I was kinda nervous to meet you, 'cause I wrote this song.
- Here, check it out! - I'm gonna stop you right there.
But, you know, you've got something on your face.
[GASPING.]
Yeah.
[SCREAMING.]
Ooh, spoiled kumquats, lovely.
Take that, punk! [GROANING ANGRILY.]
Sometimes being a vampire stinks! Mavis! What's the occasion? You look positively [BEEP.]
Ah, c'mon, ref! - Ghastly! - It'd be nice to see for myself! Yeah sometimes I pee myself too.
[SCREAMING.]
Uncle Gene, why isn't there a mirror for vampires? [CHUCKLING.]
But there is, sweetie.
The Dark Glass.
Dungeon 665B.
Bicycle kick, sucka! What? Why'd no one ever tell me? Thanks, Uncle Gene! Boom drac-a-lacka! But I wouldn't go down there if I were you.
The Dark Glass is super cursed and Goal! Whoa.
It's real? [GASPING.]
Ah! Yes! So that's what I look like! [LAUGHING.]
This is incredible! Oh, hey.
Oh nice fangs.
Uh-huh.
Oh, hey Jett.
Yeah, I'm Mavis.
What's that? You You want me to hear my song? Oh, I don't know, I Okay! This is so awesome.
I gotta show somebody! [GROANING.]
Hey, hey, he's gonna do it! [GROWLING.]
It's funny, I know how it's gonna end every time, - but I still can't help but watch.
- Hmm, me too.
[GROANING.]
Looks like Mavis is gonna try and bomb with Jett again.
She really is a glutton for punishment.
[GROANING.]
Oh, hey, listen, I don't really Ah! Ow! No.
No, wait! She just knocked me over like I didn't even exist.
How cool! [GROANING.]
Uh, did you see that? Wow.
The pressure of hanging around a celeb - is really gettin' to her.
- We could probably teach her a thing or two about [GASPS.]
Noosh! Silly boys.
It's not like Blobbio walked in and [MUSIC.]
[SHRIEKS.]
You guys are not gonna believe what just happened! I saw myself.
As in me! In a mirror! Did you hear me? A mirror! For vampires! Seriously? You've got nothing to say? [BLOWING RASPBERRY.]
[GASPS.]
Guys, guys! Wait! Uh, what was that all about? Ugh, this is so not my day.
It's like everyone's gone crazy - since I looked in that dumb mirror.
- You looked at it?! Why would you do that?! I told you it was cursed! Cursed? You didn't say that! If a vampire looks at the Dark Glass, their reflection comes to life as a hollow, mindless clone! Everybody knows that.
So, right now, there's another Mavis walking around, freaking everybody out? I gotta stop her! I wouldn't do that if I were you And she's gone.
Okay.
Now, if I was me, where would I be? [ALL LAUGHING.]
[GROANING.]
Ugh.
How embarrassing.
Come on! We gotta get you outta here! [GASPS.]
Ow! A-ha! I've been looking all over for you.
Come with me to the roof.
I'm gonna play your song for you.
And I'm not going to take [GROANING.]
for an answer! [GASPS.]
Did you hear that?! Holy rabies! Jett's gonna play my song! Wait.
Except he's not playing it for me, but her.
Ah! I gotta go! [MUSIC.]
- Huh? - Mavis? - Have you guys seen Jett? - Uh, you mean that Jett? The one hanging out with you? [SYNTHESIZER PLAYING.]
WENDY: How can you be in two places at once? It's complicated.
I looked into the Dark Glass and now my reflection has come to life.
- The what? - Dark who-what now? The ancient cursed vampire mirror? What? I'm not allowed to read? You guys gotta help me stop her before she blows it with Jett! He's gonna play my Slug guts in my hair Oh, slug guts everywhere And I don't really care No Ooh Yeah.
[GROANING.]
- My song! - Hey, Spider Fangs! [GROANING.]
Uh wait.
Spider Fangs? Heh, hey, hi, Jett.
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY.]
Funny story.
UNCLE GENE: Guess who came to save the day! Mavis, quick, get away from your reflection before it sees you and [GROWLING.]
attacks you, like it is.
Okay.
Ah! Stop it! Let me go! [HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING.]
How can you tell which is which? [GROANING.]
- Literally no clue.
- Oh, come on! I, for one, think having two Mavises just means twice the best friend.
Aw, Wendy, that is so sweet! [GROANING.]
- We gotta do something! - Agreed! But it should be spontaneous and poorly thought out! - Agreed! - Yeah, yeah! [MUSIC.]
Ha-ha! Zombie reflection, you are going down! Get them to look into the mirror! It's the only way! - Pedro, let her go! - Stop! She's so indifferent, it's irresistible! - [SOBBING.]
Please don't! - UNCLE GENE: No dice, kid.
We've already got one perfect, original issue Mavis.
Not interested in any knockoffs.
All right, enough with the mushy stuff! Let's send this thing back where it belongs! No! Undead together forever! [SINGING NOTE.]
And Gene out! [LAUGHING AND COUGHING.]
I guess that's that.
Another teen crush bites the dust.
At least I got to hear my song.
That was cool.
Yeah, Mavis, you know what wasn't cool? - What? - You fallin' apart around Jett.
Kinda pathetic, really.
Oh, come on, like you guys would be so different.
- So different.
- Totally! [GASPS.]
Hey, this isn't the squash court.