Hotel Transylvania: The Series (2017) s01e07 Episode Script

Breakfast at Lydia's; The Trouble With Wendys

1 [THUNDER BOOMING.]
[MUSIC.]
[SCREAMING.]
[MUSIC.]
[BATS SQUEAKING.]
My Dad is going to be so impressed.
I can't believe I'm employee of the month! I wonder if she tucks in her napkin.
- Oh, I knew it.
- Mavis? Yes.
Well, this is the reward for winning employee of the month, - and I'm not one for bucking tradition.
- [CLUCKS.]
Gavin? AUNT LYDIA: I can't believe she beat Gavin, either.
[CRYING.]
Well, I guess all my hard work paid off.
Now you'll get to experience Chef Quasimodo's special breakfast "ghoul-ash.
" I start every day with it.
It's the reason I'm always in such a good mood.
Ah.
[CHOMPS.]
Fang-tastic.
[SLURPS.]
Uh, it's good, but I think it's missing a little something.
Impossible.
Hi, guys.
Quasi, just wondering uh, you got any salt around here? - Gah! - [STAMMERS.]
I-I-It's, uh, it's not for me.
It's for, uh Aunt Lydia.
Pardon? So, you and your "Aunt Lydia" Uh, no need for air quotes.
She's real.
require ssssalt for your ghoul-ash? Just a smidge.
You know, for flavor.
- Do you mind? - Why? Why would I mind? You're just suggesting my masterpiece of culinary perfection lacks flavor.
[FORCED CHUCKLE.]
That shouldn't bother me.
I've only been cooking my entire life.
I'm just going to pull this [SCREAMING.]
[YELLING.]
Is this enough salt for you?! This insult is too much to take.
I quit, I quit, I quit! So, I'm guessing pepper is a no-go? Ugh.
If Aunt Lydia finds out Quasimodo quit and she doesn't get her favorite breakfast tomorrow, not only will I lose my employee-of-the-month title, - I'll be grounded until the end of time.
- Oh, so not that long.
You know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
The cereal companies got to you, too, huh? You guys, focus on the important thing here.
- Like how I could lose my crown.
- Come on.
You don't really care about being employee of the month.
It is the most important award of the month.
Nobody ever wins except Gavin, and now, me.
My Dad will be so proud of his little Mavy Wavy, - and I'll be able to milk it for months.
- That's so sweet.
But if Aunt Lydia finds out what I've done, she'll strip me of the award and lord it over me for the next thousand years! No, thanks.
I've got to get Quasimodo back.
Check it, check it, check it out, my fiendish friends.
A fresh batch of tasty jellyfish rolls straight off my hotplate.
There's no time for eating, Pedro.
We have serious [GULPS.]
Holy moldy.
This is really good.
- Well, thank you.
The secret is - That you can cook! This will solve all of my problems.
You can replace Quasimodo, make the ghoul-ash, and Aunt Lydia will of course never find out.
[GAGGING.]
Uh, is this a hair? Hmm.
Let one go, they all want to follow.
[COUGHS.]
Ugh.
AUNT LYDIA: What is taking so long? Have no fear.
[COUGHS.]
Your breakfast ghoul-ash is here.
Yep, everything is totally normal.
Time to chow down.
It looks different.
Uh, that's because I got Quasimodo to make you a special version.
It looks different because he's using imported fungus breath.
- [CLUCKS.]
Imported? - Hmm.
I don't like change.
[SLURPS.]
[GASPING.]
[SNIFFS.]
Oh.
Hmm.
The nose hairs are well prepared.
It's perfect! Maybe even better than usual.
You can really taste that imported fungus breath.
[WHISPERS.]
Yes! It worked.
- I mean, uh, enjoy.
Mhm.
Whew.
Pedro, you are the ghoul-ash ghoul.
Well, I did have a little help.
I was just in it for the hat, but it was an honor to be a part of the team.
I spent most of the time karate-chopping baguettes.
- Hii-ya! Whoa.
- Yeah, sure, but I was actually talking about Jerome.
OTHERS: Jerome? Jerome is the real reason I can cook.
He tells me what to do.
[CHIRPS.]
Well, thanks to you guys and Jerome, - Aunt Lydia loves the ghoul-ash.
- Yay! Who needs Quasimodo anyhow? Employee of the month in the hizz-ouse! [BELL DINGING.]
Okay, she's here.
- Where's the food? - About that, small problem.
- Pedro refuses to make it.
- Not me, Jerome.
He's an artiste, and like all great artistes, - he never makes the same dish twice.
- But but But you have to.
Start cooking already! [CHUCKLES.]
Excuse me, Mavis.
This is our kitchen, and if anyone is going to be yelling [YELLS.]
it's me! - You call that a karate chop?! - Oh! This is a karate chop! You should wear hats more, Wendy! They really bring out your eyes! - Thank you.
- And now, I'm not going to make anything.
Not only because I'm an artiste, but because I'm too tired from all that yelling.
- I need a nap! [SNORING.]
- MAVIS: Oh, no.
Okay.
Please, Jerome, can you help me? This isn't good.
If Aunt Lydia doesn't get her breakfast soon - [SHUDDERING.]
Okay.
Uh - If it's just a bug helping Pedro cook, - it'll probably work again, right? - Right.
Okay, let's try it.
Okay, bug.
Show me what you got! [SCREAMING.]
It's crawling in my brain.
Ow.
- Why would you do that? [SOBBS.]
- MAVIS: Sorry, Hank.
[CHUCKLE.]
Okay, new plan.
I find Quasimodo and bring him back.
Wendy, make sure Aunt Lydia - doesn't come into this kitchen.
- You got it.
Ugh.
[MUSIC.]
This could take forever.
Quasi could literally be anywhere by now.
Oh! There he is.
Saperlipopette.
Welcome to Quasimodo's Slop Bucket, where apparently the only customers are adorable woodland creatures.
You've got a food truck now? But you can't drive.
Mais oui.
That's why it's parked.
Look.
I'm sorry I asked for salt.
Could you please come back to the hotel? We're all really missing your breakfast ghoul-ash.
[SPITS.]
Ha! You want me to accept your apology after your insult? For zat you must eat your words.
Literally! Uh, I'll do whatever it takes - to get you back cooking at the hotel.
- Oh.
Really? La-la-la My 99-course tasting menu.
You enjoy every bite without complaint, - and I will return.
- Deal.
I'm totally going to love everything you make.
[SLURPS.]
[GAGS.]
Nope, nope.
Can't do it.
Ah-ha! I knew your immature palate could not handle my skills.
I win! [LAUGHS.]
Although I kind of lost since you don't like my food, but whatever.
La-la-la la-la la-la-la la-la, winning This is the worst.
Aunt Lydia is going to flip and I'll be stripped of my title.
Maybe I can bribe Jerome.
But what would a bug chef want? - [GASPS.]
Did you say "Jérome"? - No, I said "Jerome.
" Jerome and I were culinary school rivals.
One day, your father came looking for a chef for his hotel.
We both made our special dishes.
I became the new chef at Hotel Transylvania, and Jerome swore revenge.
Now, he's come for my kitchen.
I shall return to the hotel and reclaim what is rightfully mine! Sweet.
[DOOR BURSTING OPEN.]
Jerome! Put down my utensils and get out of my kitchen! Uh-huh? Jerome says, "Never.
" This is his kitchen now.
[ACTION MUSIC.]
[CACKLING.]
We'll see about that.
[BOTH YELLING.]
Or you could have a cook-off? The best breakfast ghoul-ash gets the kitchen.
Huh, huh? Yeah, sure.
Zat works, too, I guess.
Makes more sense, really.
[CHITTERS.]
[CHITTERING GRUNT.]
[MUSIC.]
Huh? [GASPS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
En garde! Time is up.
Yes! Two breakfast ghoul-ashes.
Mavis, you sly bat.
Now, which one to serve? - Where is my breakfast?! - Whoa! Oof.
[CLEARING THROAT.]
Um, breakfast is served.
[CHOMPS.]
This is the best ghoul-ash yet.
Ah! Yes.
Quasimodo is back, Aunt Lydia is happy, and I'm still employee of the month.
Everything is coming up Mavis.
Speaking of employee of the month, [SLURPS.]
after making this breakfast, it's clearly Quasimodo.
[LAUGHS.]
Huh? [ANGRY CHITTER.]
[GROANING.]
That's cold, Gavin.
Cold.
ALL: Go, go, go! Last one to the finish line [MUSIC.]
- is a rainbow-loving unicorn.
- Sorry.
[SCREAMING.]
Yes! First place, in your face Oop! Whoa.
[CRASHING.]
I win.
Yay, me.
Victory dance Victory dance Drop a beat, Wendy Beep-ba-doo beep-beep-ba-doo Woo-hoo-hoo [SCREAMS.]
[MOANING.]
Where's Wendy? [MUSIC.]
Wendy? Yes! Who's your blobby? - Who's your blobby? - How are you so lucky? - There's not a scratch on you.
- Yeah.
Well, except for that huge wad of gum in your ponytail.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SCREECHING.]
[LICKS.]
Yep.
It's gum, all right.
Scare-a-mint, I believe.
Nasty stuff.
Luckily, there's an easy fix.
[CHAINSAW REVVS.]
[YELLING.]
I'll just cut it off! [ALL GASP.]
No! This ponytail is part of me.
I've had it since birth.
There's got to be another way.
[WHIRRING.]
[SIGHING.]
No one ever lets me use the chainsaw.
Fine.
Everyone scrub in for surgery.
Ooh, I love scrubbing.
Pointy thing.
Metal guy.
Smasher.
Slice doohickey.
Turkey sandwich.
Now that lunch is over, ice cube.
One, two, three, yank! [GROANS.]
Success! Another patient saved.
Take that, Professor Doubtberg.
GILLMAN: Mr.
Blob? I've got good news and bad news.
The bad news is my sandwich was terrible.
The good news is, Wendy and her ponytail are fine.
[CHEERING.]
Dr.
Gillman, I owe you my life.
And now I'm going to stick by your side until I can save you.
- What?! - It's the way of the blob.
You want to save my life? Invent a time machine to go back 10 minutes to stop me from eating that terrible sandwich.
Can we, Daddy? Guess we're doing this the old-fashioned, - non-time-travel way.
- [SIGHING.]
Fine.
Mmmm.
Stuck on you it is.
[PLAYING UKULELE.]
Always together and never apart I'll stick with you until I stop a poisonous dart - I just did my job.
- # And you do it so well # If a Ninja tries to whack you I will ring his bell Ninjas? You saved my life and I'm paying you back I won't let anyone give you a heart attack I'm sure it's not poison you can stop testing now [SINGING INDISTINCTLY WITH MOUTH FULL.]
Always together I can't take much more Wendy, for the last time - # Back away # - # I'll just stay # - # From the # - # At the # [UNISONO.]
# Door # Back away from the door! [BELCHING.]
Ugh.
It's been days now.
When is Wendy going to drop this Gillman thing? I miss my pal.
And this place is getting a little too dude.
[BELCHING.]
Dude.
[CHUCKLES.]
[PHONE HOWLING.]
Hello? GILLMAN: Mavis, help.
You've got to make her stop.
I can't work, I can't take a shower, and the only time I can pee is when I'm in the swimming pool.
[SCREAMING.]
[BUBBLING.]
Ahh.
[SHUDDERING.]
Okay, hang tight.
We're on it.
Oh, and tell Wendy I said "hey.
" Ooh.
Tell her I also said "hey.
" [GASPS.]
How did you Get out of my ears! Yeesh.
What are you going to do now? Chipmunk with a flamethrower? [CHITTERS.]
What? No.
[SIGHING.]
Sorry, Dave.
Maybe next time.
Wendy needs to save Dr.
Gillman to pay him back for saving her life, right? So, maybe we just need to put him in danger.
Yeah.
You're an expert at putting people in danger.
Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't killed anyone by now.
No idea what you're talking about.
MAVIS: Wasn't me.
[MUSIC.]
Wendy, hey.
How's it going with Operation Save Dr.
Gillman? One, it's called Operation Glitter Hero, and two, it's taking forever.
- He's, like, never in danger.
- Oh, really? Look out! Okay, now is your chance to save Dr.
Gillman.
Wendy? [SCREAMING.]
Whoa.
[GROANING.]
You should see a doctor, kid.
Yay! Wendy saved Dr.
Gillman all by herself and there was nothing suspicious about it.
[SCREAMING.]
Uh-oh.
[SCREAMING.]
MAVIS: Wendy! Phew.
Oh, Mavis.
I owe you my life.
What, what? No, no.
Uh, that was just a reflex.
A fall like that wouldn't kill you.
It'd kill my adventurous nature.
But I was saved, and by my bestie.
Wow.
Looks like I'm on Mavis watch.
- What? - I know, right? So exciting.
We blobs are born guardians, so I won't let you out of my sight for a second.
It'll be like a sleepover that never ends.
- Woo-hoo! Free at last.
- WENDY: Nope.
Mavis really saved you, and as per the way of the blob, I still need to repay that debt, so Blob.
Whatever my blobette sees, I see.
This way Mavis and I can be totally inseparable.
- Great, huh? - Welcome to my nightmare.
Always together and that's the worst part She'll stick to you like glue because of one dumb cart Drop a light fixture it won't fix a thing Another blobette means another stalker, zing Even with teamwork they can't get it right Man, they really stink at this they're not so bright They just keep on failing They're blowing it, yup That's it, I can't keep singing Or I'm going to throw up [CHEERING, SHOOTING.]
Blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob-blob Blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob Blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob-blob Blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob Blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob blob-blob-blob-blob Okay.
Just me, or is this getting weird? Too bad about Wendy.
At least this will be over soon.
What do you mean? When a blob splits too much for too long, eventually their brains turn into mush.
[EVERYONE SCREAMING.]
Why didn't you say anything? Since when is it my job to warn people about their impending death?! We have to find Wendy.
There! Wendy, you've got to pull yourself together.
Literally.
Now! Not until I save all the purple cheese monkey grape.
Uh, what was that last part, now? Horse beanie.
[BLOWING RASPBERRY.]
Whoa.
It's true.
Her brain is turning to mush! Don't worry.
I know just what to do.
[CHITTERS.]
Uh-uh-uh.
No chipmunks with flamethrowers.
Aw, come on! Then why do I even have him? MAVIS: [OVER P.
A.
.]
Everyone with a blobette, please head to the ballroom right now for a special celebratory dance.
Ooh, me love dance times.
Yeah, I know.
Mic drop.
[FEEDBACK WHISTLING.]
Oh, sorry, sorry.
[MUSIC PLAYS.]
ALL: Ooh.
Wendy, Wendy, Wendy your blobs are way too trendy It's getting loco, very you're losing it, it's scary Me have to save the squee bow Her brain's becoming mush yo She's got to stop there's no doubt And we're all going to help out While the music is playing keep your hips a-swaying If you've got a blobette get ready to lob it That's it, Wendy, bounce high higher than the sky, high Now let's let our blobs fly One, two, three, olé Ah.
We did it.
Yes! [CHEERING.]
No! Wendy, you saved him.
Which means she's your problem now.
[GROANING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Everyone wins.
Not everyone.
I dropped my sandwich.
Nope.
I saved that, too.
[GASPS.]
Boom.
[CHOMPS.]
[SLURPS.]
What?!
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