House, M.D. s01e20 Episode Script

HOU-120 - Love Hurts

Lee, call 4142.
Lee, 4142.
Will it, uh, be much longer? We'll call you when we're ready.
I've been waiting almost an hour.
We'll call you when we're ready.
I'm sorry.
Saw him make quite a throw yesterday.
There's a liner to left field coming to third base's right.
Laskowski is up.
The throw on the way to the plate.
So she's really coming back? Who's coming back? You don't know her.
You give her a raise? Increase her benefits? Don't have TiVo on this thing.
Can't rewind.
Shut up.
You lower her hours? You don't even know her.
Who is this guy? He's a patient.
He's examining me.
He's gotta go back to work as soon as I'm done with the examination.
Guess I do too.
It's gotta be something.
I mean, she didn't come back because she likes you.
Wait a minute.
She did come back because she likes you.
You dog.
You slept with her.
Keep talking.
I'll finish your exam with a prostate check.
I've agreed to take her on one date.
- What? - So, you into this girl? - Yes.
- No.
She-- She's not giving me any choice.
She's making you do her? Date her.
Young ingenue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor-- Her sweet, gentle nature bringing him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart.
Do her or you're gay.
For God's sakes.
# Sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G # Grow up.
And learn to harmonize.
- Oh! - Damn it! - I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Who the hell walks around with an open urine sample? I'm sorry.
I didn't-- I didn't-- Uh-- You think that was a bit of an overreaction? Well, he peed on me.
I'm not into that.
It's apple juice.
Now go find that guy and apologize.
One more patient complaint and you're looking at a suspension.
I forgive you for ruining my jacket.
Look, you seem like a regular kind of guy-- not the type to get another regular guy into trouble.
Am I right? Twenty bucks cash if you'll stop crying.
Forgive me.
Yell at me.
Just give me something I can work with, okay? Game's over.
You two make nice? Get a wheelchair.
Get this guy into the E.
What happened? - Right pupil's blown.
- Holy-- You gave the guy a stroke? So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit.
What are you doing here? I work here.
"Here" here? In this office? House practically begged me to come back.
- Please tell me you took him to the cleaners.
- Same lousy salary.
- Then why'd you do it? - Because this is the happiest place on Earth.
Twenty-one-year-old male-- Comes in with grinding of the teeth.
And House gives him a stroke.
Totally blew out his pupil.
- You scared a guy into stroking out? - Does that surprise anyone here? Blown pupils usually means brain stem edema.
Sure, but since he's not dead or in a coma, I'm going with stroke to the optic nerve.
scan shows two things.
Ischemia-- death of brain tissue.
Means there's been some damage, hopefully not permanent.
- And? - And that's it.
There's nothing there to tell us what the underlying cause is.
- Gotta do an M.
- You're looking at the wrong part of the scan.
- I'm looking at the brain.
What else is there? - The jaw.
The jaw tells us why he stroked? No, the jaw tells us why we can't do an M.
Unless we want his jawbone flying across the room.
Metal plate.
He's had major reconstruction, and there's no way we're removing it, so we're forced to be clever.
Angiogram to rule out vasculitis, E.
for peripheral neuropathy, tox screen to eliminate drugs, and echo to rule out cardiac emboli.
Cameron, I'd appreciate you keeping the terms of your new contract to yourself.
Don't want everyone clamoring for the same perks.
What perks? Nothing you'd be interested in.
So it's not money, then? Office space, insurance, parking-- Anything he could offer you, we'd be interested in.
He agreed to go on a date with me.
A date? Date, dinner and a movie, naked and sweaty, date? He only committed to the first two.
He's so-- He's so old.
- And you're so young.
- It's a big mistake.
It's my boss.
I'm allowed to sexually harass my boss.
I'll arrange for the E.
You want to set up the angiogram? And you can get the blood samples, patient history, patient consent.
Like watching an accident about to happen.
Harvey, I'm Dr.
I'm here to discuss your case.
I'm Annette.
I'm Harvey's friend.
Nice to meet you.
I need your next of kin.
You didn't fill that out on your intake form.
Harvey's parents are dead.
They died two years ago in a car crash.
I see.
So, Harvey, you have any siblings? No.
And no grandparents, or uncles or aunts.
Annette, uh, I don't want to have to ask you to leave-- I want her to stay.
Well, she can stay.
You do the talking.
Why'd you come to the clinic this morning? Uh, about six months ago, I started grinding my-- You know.
In your mouth.
You chew with them.
Harvey's experiencing a little nominal aphasia.
You know, when you can't remember nouns.
Yeah, I think I know what nominal aphasia is.
Have you had any treatment for the teeth grinding? I went to a-- You know, they do that thing with the sharp pointy things.
- Needles? Someone took your blood? - No.
They make you breathe.
- Pulmonologist? - No.
She had this, uh-- She had this electrical machine.
He saw an acupuncturist.
Do you know what the acupuncturist did? She diagnosed liver chi stagnation and sent Harvey to a shen balancer.
He referred him to a homeopathic doctor, who sent him to a chiropractor.
The chiropractor thought it might be food sensitivity and sent Harvey to a naturopath.
The naturopath sent me back to the-- - Back to the acupuncturist.
- Yes.
Well, we'll need to see the records of all of those, uh, practitioners.
Thank you.
Everything set for the angiogram? Cameron's got the E.
Who's that? Harvey's guru.
- That's what she called herself? - That's what she acted like.
I'm having vaginal pain.
Pleasure to meet you.
My OB/GYN died recently.
He was a nice man.
- Warm hands.
- Not anymore.
So, does it hurt when you tinkle? Yeah, that's when it's worst.
You have some vaginal tearing.
No sign of bruising.
No indication of trauma, forced entry.
Ramona, you naughty girl.
Either you've got yourself an 18-year-old boyfriend, or an 80-year-old with some little blue pills.
Myron thought he'd just try 'em out.
- Lucky you.
- I guess.
You'd prefer it if Myron was a little droopier? Maybe a little.
We used to hold hands or read together or watch Jeopardy.
I haven't seen Jeopardy in almost a month.
Have you talked to him about this? You try talking a 73-year-old out of sex.
With all these male enhancements, the pressure to put out's incredible.
It's worse than high school.
He doesn't get what he wants from me, he'll get it from Connie in the corner condo.
She's dying her hair red.
Major league slut.
Here's a prescription for vaginal estrogen suppositories.
It'll help with the lubrication.
Thank you.
Maybe you could give Myron a prescription-- something weaker than he's got now.
Tell him it's better for his heart.
He'd buy that.
You can't tell him the truth so you want me to lie to him? - Would you? - Close your legs.
Nerves stimulate muscles to move by creating a small electrical current.
The machine will measure that.
And I will insert this needle into various muscles and ask you to flex.
Sometimes it can be painful.
Let me know.
I can pull back.
I mean, it's okay.
Put your arm out to the side.
- You all right? - I'm good.
You don't have to stop.
Raise your arm over your head.
The E.
was clean.
Based on this history, it's either toxic herbs from the homeopath, spinal damage from the chiropractor, infection from a needle that the acupuncturist accidentally let sit in eye of newt, or the shen balancer-- What the hell is a shen, and how come it's lopsided? The only abnormal test result we found was on the echo report.
Mitral valve prolapse.
Hang up a shingle and condemn the narrowness and greed of Western medicine.
You can make a damn fine living.
Clots form on the faulty valve, get sent to the brain, voilĂ -- stroke.
Ofcourse, no harm, no foul.
Just taking a few bucks from superstitious idiots, right? Could also be an aneurysm due to trauma.
Trauma? From what, the chiropractic treatments? It's bacterial endocarditis, an infected valve.
We should do blood cultures.
The six months that he had with these charlatans might have been better spent going to someone who looks at things that exist in the real world.
But that's just me being all narrow again.
I noticed a small bruit when I listened to Harvey's left carotid.
You could hear that if he had an aneurysm from trauma.
An aneurysm would have shown on the angiogram.
Not necessarily.
Quite a dilemma.
Oh, great pool-hall oracle, grant me guidance.
Do we go with Foreman's theory, which is at least marginally supported by medical test results, or Chase's theory, that is completely unsupported by medical evidence? What to do? The guy obviously broke his jaw somehow.
Who knows what other trauma he's suffered? We should do the angiogram again.
And all signs point to-- Ah.
Sorry, Chase.
The gods have spoken.
Start Harvey on blood thinners and antibiotics.
Yeah, I get it.
House is adorable.
I just want to hold him and never let go.
My God! What the hell are you doing? - She's choking him.
- Foreman, stop.
Let her go.
- She was trying to kill him.
- No.
No, she wasn't.
His vitals seem okay.
Please-- Please, don't hurt her.
What the hell is going on in here? She's-- She's a dominatrix.
Right, Annette? The patient asked you to strangle him? Harvey is an asphyxiaphyliac.
He likes to be strangled or smothered.
That's just sick.
Well, that's an intriguing legal opinion.
What kind of a lawyer is he? - You want a legal opinion? Call the cops.
- I was careful.
I watched the monitors.
Made sure his O2 sats were over 90.
I would never hurt him.
Then what was the point? Harvey was upset.
He needed to calm down-- to feel in control by being controlled.
He pays you for this? In return, he does my taxes and cleans my house.
We're not done here.
We have to talk.
Call the cops.
Bar her from the hospital.
Force her to pierce your nipples.
Not really medical decisions.
It was a long time ago.
I was seeing this woman, a banker, and, uh, turns out she liked to be burned.
You actually dated someone who likes to get burned? Yeah, why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that's so obviously only gonna lead to pain? - Shut up.
- It was a weird scene.
- I observed-- - Chase, did you know about this woman, what she does? - I met her at some parties, yeah.
- I wouldn't have tortured you if I knew you liked it.
Well, here's a phrase to remember.
"Hey, this guy might have been pounded on the head one too many times".
I said I thought it was a trauma-induced aneurysm.
Could have carried a tad more weight if you'd mentioned the "liking pain" thing.
You're on my naughty list.
No leather stethoscope this Christmas.
- I'm not into-- - I assume you never started him on antibiotics and blood thinners before Mistress Ilsa's rude interruption.
- That was probably a good thing, given-- - Start him on antibiotics and blood thinners.
You still think Chase is wrong? No, he's probably right.
Then we should schedule him for vascular surgery.
Go into the carotids, find the aneurysm, repair it.
We put him on blood thinners, he might bleed out.
But if Foreman's right about it being bacterial endocarditis and we-- I think Chase is right.
If Foreman used to be right about it being blood clots and we take the surgery route, we'll probably kill the guy.
So start him on blood thinners, and if he has another stroke, we'll schedule the surgery.
- Yeah? - You Dr.
House? I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this, but yes.
Ramona said I should come to you for my refill.
Uh, you know, the-- The wood's beginning to droop.
She said you'd probably want to talk to me first.
She lied.
Here you go.
Always happy to make people happy.
Uh, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
- Much more of what? - Sex.
You don't want more sex? My golf swing is all messed up.
Hey, here's a radical thought.
Talk to her.
- The truth? - Sounds crazy when you put it like that.
Ramona's got a big appetite.
If I don't perform-- I don't want to lose her.
You got a pharmacy around here? In the hospital? Could be.
Let's see if we can find it.
Got any blue pills? You looking for E.
medication? Well, that's one example of a blue pill.
Name six others.
There's a brand of acetaminophen-- Perfect.
Fill 'er up.
- Dr.
- Little busy here.
I heard about Dr.
Cameron's conditions for coming back to work.
It's purely business.
I'll make sure you get the receipt.
Well, I think it's a good thing.
What happened in your last relationship, it's no reason to wall yourself off from people forever.
Five years of self-pity is probably enough.
You've certainly given me a lot to think about.
If only I was as open as you.
- Well-- - Actually, it was your blouse I was talking about.
Bear in mind, Cameron's probably the only female who could tolerate you.
Wear the sky-blue shirt.
It almost makes you look nice.
They said she couldn't come back into the hospital.
They won't let me see her.
Harvey, you're lucky she wasn't arrested.
What were you thinking, doing that at a hospital? Squeeze my fingers? I was scared.
I'll need you to squeeze with both hands.
I am.
Weakness in his right arm and hand.
Harvey's having mini-strokes.
The blood thinners aren't making a difference.
Stop the treatment.
We tried your way.
You could not have been "wronger".
I said Chase was probably right.
Oh, yeah.
We've all got perfect Get ahold of May in Vascular.
See if his surgical dance card is free for tomorrow.
- About tomorrow night.
- You couldn't keep your mouth shut.
I didn't see any reason to.
Where are we going? I want to make sure I dress appropriately.
That would be army boots and T-shirt.
It's the county paint ball tourney.
First prize is 50 bucks.
I'll split it with you if you hold your end up.
I'm not sure that was the deal.
I made a reservation at Café Spoleto.
Regarding wardrobe, are you too young to remember spandex? I'll figure something out.
The surgery will repair the damaged blood vessels in your neck, and your strokes will stop.
All this is because of the strangulation? More like strangulations.
My parents are right.
I'm a loser.
I don't -- I don't know what-- - I don't know what to do.
I need to-- - Harvey, calm down.
- I need to talk to Annette.
- You can do this on your own.
Surgery's the only-- She hates me.
I've been calling.
I've been calling and she-- She's not picking up.
- Harvey, you don't need-- - I can't.
I can't.
Harvey, you will do what I say.
I don't want surgery.
- Sign the consent.
Sign it! - I can't do anything.
No surgery.
No surgery! No surgery! We could give him antidepressants.
See if he changes his mind.
I already did.
Mashed 'em up in his apple sauce.
It'll lighten him up soon enough.
Someone should just tell him to do it.
Way faster.
So's forgery-- also illegal.
And I already tried.
Not you.
Where's a good dominatrix when you need one? Annette's barred from the hospital.
If you get caught, Cuddy's got a hairbrush, and believe me, she knows how to use it.
They let you come back.
Not because you deserve it.
You've been bad.
You will have the surgery.
Do you understand? No.
Do not laugh at me.
- You will respect me.
- Where do you get off telling me what to do? Get out of my room, you bag-faced witch.
Is this a part of their deal? This isn't like him.
- Something's wrong.
- Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! - Get out! - Emotional swings-- he's having another stroke.
Harvey! He's crashing.
Can we get a cart in here? So what's that? Two strokes you've scared this guy into? Yeah.
It's making me question my view of myself as a people person.
Now you want to do surgery on him without his consent? The kid's in a coma.
He needs the surgery.
He said no.
We can't do it.
Emergent situation.
We invoke heroic measures.
You need a court order.
Where do I get me one of them? - Do I need to lawyer up? - I'll need to show the judge an affidavit from next of kin.
They might have a problem signing anything, seeing as how they're dead.
- He'll want proof.
- Like what, Dad's hand? I don't even know where they're buried.
Bring me a published obit, or death certificate, and we'll run with it.
I don't want you to mess up your clothes.
His parents were accountants.
Maybe there's an obit in the trade papers.
Guy lives in Market Town.
I don't know if he grew up there, but we could check the local funeral homes.
Great, and when your searches turn up nothing, you should try and find where they live.
He said they were dead.
Accountants are usually pretty good with money, so how come he lives in a slum like Market Town? Maybe they were bad accountants.
Two bad accountants from the Pacific Rim? The odds are astronomical.
Maybe Harvey burned through their money.
Or maybe they cut him off when they found out about his proclivities.
Gotta be my bet.
Go to his apartment.
See if you can find his folks.
Number, address, something.
Can I talk to you? Sure.
Cameron's a friend.
- This whole dating-- - Time's up.
Thanks for playing.
Hey, I've been on the scene more than you recently.
Way ahead of you.
I got a case of malt liquor stashed in the trunk.
Marvin Gaye on the CD.
We are gonna get all the way down.
Now move.
Come on.
You're not into her.
Most guys who aren't interested in a woman try to sugar coat it, be nice.
- Oh, you know me too well.
- That's what I'm saying.
I think you should go with your instincts here.
Be a jerk.
I'm missing my soap for this? Women love to be right.
You gotta leave 'em feeling superior, like they dodged a bullet.
But if you're nice, she'll blame herself-- And fall for me even more.
The love doctor has made an art out of breaking up with women 'cause you're convinced that the loss of you would be too devastating for any woman to handle.
I'm the one with the serious ego problem here.
I'm just saying some relationships aren't meant to happen.
Harvey's school registration.
Permanent home address? Emergency contacts? "Annette Rains".
Mistress Annette.
You had to extort a date out of House.
You don't think that's a bad sign? Cameron? High school yearbook.
Think this might give us a clue, Sherlock? House isn't gonna hand you anything.
You want him, you gotta take him.
Jump him.
Harvey-- H-A-R-V-E-Y.
I'm sorry to have bothered you.
Thank you.
Harvey Park.
We've been looking for you.
I'm calling from the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.
Harvey's here, and it's rather-- - He hung up.
- You tell him why you were calling? I didn't get a chance.
Call back.
I'll do it.
Let the master show you how it's done.
Park? This is Dr.
House calling from Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey.
Your son Harvey is dead.
We need you to identify the body.
I'm sorry.
It's the law.
There's a real art to delivering bad news.
- They're gonna show up at the morgue.
- Be sure and let me know when Cuddy starts screaming.
You lied to them! He told us our son was dead.
It's only a white lie.
Technically, all I did was call them a little early.
Trust me.
He'll be dead real soon.
Actually, I saved you some rush hour traffic.
I'm calling our lawyer.
Just as soon as you've signed the surgery consent.
I have a pen.
Marilyn Park for Mark Lerner.
Yes, I'll hold.
Harvey's your son.
I'm sure you still care about him.
He humiliated us.
Everybody we know knows about his perversion.
But you don't get off on embarrassment the way your son does.
My guess, maybe it skips a generation.
How much money would it take to compensate you-- Yeah, you guys can haggle in a minute, but here's the thing.
Humiliation comes in all kinds of packages.
People finding out that your son's a perv.
That's pretty high up there.
People finding out that you'd rather let your son die than sign a piece of paper-- where's that rank? Trust me, if I have to paste up a sign in every nail salon and dumpling shop in Pennsylvania, I'll make sure they know.
Your son will be in surgery first thing in the morning.
That was a cheap shot.
Are you, uh-- Can we talk? Gee, I wonder what this is gonna be about.
I just want to make sure no one gets hurt.
I will be fine.
Everybody's acting like I'm going out with Jack the Ripper.
It's not-- It's not you I'm worried about.
It's been a long time since he opened up to someone, and I-- You better be absolutely sure you want this, because if he opens up again and gets hurt-- I don't think there's gonna be a next time.
You're worried I'm gonna break his heart? The wide side's too short.
You're gonna look like Lou Costello.
This is a mistake.
I don't know how to have casual conversation.
You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are, and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because there's a subtext, and you need a decoder ring.
Open doors for her.
Help her with her chair.
- I have been on a date.
- Not since disco died.
Comment on her shoes, her earrings, and then move on to D.
Her dreams, hopes and aspirations.
Trust me.
Panty peeler.
- And if you need condoms, I've got some.
- Did your wife give them to you? Drug rep.
They've got antibiotics built in somehow.
I should cancel.
I've got a patient in surgery tomorrow morning.
And if you were a surgeon, that would actually matter.
That's a good idea.
Settle your nerves.
Get me a beer too.
No beer.
You're gonna eat before dinner? This is pretty lame, right? I think she likes lame.
It's beautiful.
And you look very handsome.
Thank you.
I've always loved this restaurant.
It's changed a lot since the last time I was here.
Used to be a strip joint.
Nice earrings.
My mom's.
Thank you.
Nice shoes.
Comfortable? I'm not expecting you to be someone you're not.
We're in a restaurant.
We're dressed up.
We're eating.
Without small talk, what is there? According to Freud-- and I'm paraphrasing-- the instinct of love toward an object demands a mastery to obtain it, and if a person feels they can't control the object, or feel threatened by it, they act negatively toward it.
Like an eighth-grade boy punching a girl.
I treat you like garbage, so I must really like you.
Given your Freudian theory, what does it mean if I start being nice to you? That you're getting in touch with your feelings.
So there's absolutely nothing I can do to make you think that I don't like you? Sorry, no.
I have one evening with you-- one chance-- and I don't want to waste it talking about what wines you like or what movies you hate.
I want to know how you feel.
About me.
You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect.
That's why you married a man who was dying of cancer.
You don't love, you need.
And now that your husband is dead, you're looking for your new charity case.
That's why you're going out with me.
I'm twice your age.
I'm not great-looking.
I'm not charming.
I'm not even nice.
What I am is what you need.
I'm damaged.
Warm saline.
I'll get the-- Came in late.
Good time last night? How's the surgery going? Harvey's doing fine so far.
- How'd the night go? - It was fine.
How was your evening? She had the ravioli.
I had the puttanesca.
Yes, I really want to know about the quality of the food.
Either something very good happened or something very bad.
Which is it? Well, I did have a little indigestion afterwards.
Maybe it was the garlic bread.
Or the wine.
Something made my eyes puffy.
- Crying in your pillow can do that.
- It was the wine.
We had a nice candid conversation.
Nothing deep.
Mostly small talk.
I'm sure.
Took your advice.
Complimented her shoes.
That's 15 minutes of chat right there.
- No snide comments? - I guess-- when we talked about you guys.
- Just answer one question.
- You two gonna do dinner again? I don't think so.
I don't know.
Hey, kids.
You were wrong.
No aneurysm, no nothin'.
This guy's clean.
Which means we've got no idea what's causing the strokes.
He's had two more post-op.
We won't know the extent of the damage until he comes out of the coma-- if he comes out.
Maybe we should go back to the blood thinners.
Up the dosage.
If it's not clots, a loading dose of blood thinners is gonna make him bleed out of his ears.
Then he won't be able to hear.
Oy vey.
- Nobody home.
Leave a message.
- This is important.
Chase, Cameron, get another angiogram and echo.
You better get a full body scan.
If it is clots, it'd be good to know where they are.
Sorry about that.
Guy dying.
Those pills you gave Myron? They're not working.
Well, good to see you've got the correct perspective on the thing.
Well, the old ones, I mean, made me feel like a tree, you know? Nice visual.
But the new ones, I might as well be eating candy.
Candy wouldn't take away your headaches.
What? You came to me and told me you were having too much sex.
I never did.
You too, sequoia.
- Well, no, that's not true.
I-- - I know everybody lies, but you'd think that after a certain amount of time together, you wouldn't be trying so hard.
- Your rings don't match.
- Why would they? The style is one thing, but one silver, one gold? How long have you guys been married? Fifty-five years.
Forty-nine years.
Damn it.
You're having an affair.
Did you really say you wanted to have less sex? Well, less.
If I wanted none, I'd stay home with Esther.
I just need a little rest.
You guys aren't the victims of the little blue pills, you're the problem.
- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
I should just have told you how I felt.
Oh, welcome to hell.
Uh, hey, how about the pills? Looks like you guys are good to go drug-free for a while.
Chase, these breath mints you've been popping since yesterday-- are they a new fetish? I found them at Harvey's.
What? I just took two boxes.
- The guy's got a whole drawer of them.
- And you didn't find that interesting? Well, there's lots of interesting stuff in his place.
The mints weren't high up on the list.
Chase, get your nose in here.
If you're trying to humiliate me, I told you-- Come on.
Put your face in his mouth.
- Ugh! - Rich, wouldn't you say? Mm.
Smells like old vomit.
Number one sign of fulminating osteomyelitis.
Infection of the jaw? Probably from the original break.
Never healed properly.
Infected tissue from the jaw breaks off, blocks blood flow to the brain.
And life just isn't worth living without blood.
It was hidden from the scans by the metal plate.
And an infection in the jaw is unlikely to show up in blood tests.
- So how do we confirm? - Like this.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have pus.
We're gonna remove the jaw.
Anybody got a buzz saw? Okay, call a surgeon.
I'm Dr.
How's tricks, Annette? I just wanted to see if he was okay.
I'll leave.
It's okay.
I came to talk to you both.
Like I tell all my patients, you've simply got to say no to strangulation.
Me, I'm a freak.
I get off on not being in pain.
That and chocolate-covered marshmallow bunnies.
He's not a freak.
Yeah, he is a little.
But it's gotta stop, or he'll die.
It's not about pain.
It's about being open.
And completely vulnerable to another person.
If you can learn to be that deeply trusting, it changes you.
Lock him in a cage.
That should be fine, medically.
House? Were my parents here? Did they come to see me?
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