House, M.D. s03e18 Episode Script

Fran? I'm Robin.
Please come in.
Cute home.
Two bedroom, one bath? Yeah.
A guy I know collects those.
Says they're worth a fortune on the internet.
Yeah.
You've never used our agency before, have you? Is it that obvious? As you can see, we offer a full range of services.
"Round the World"? Our deluxe package.
Offers all the services of A, B, and C.
How much? $1,000.
And satisfaction is guaranteed.
Twice.
I'll get the money.
I'll get ready.
Harrington? Harrington, what are you doing up there? All right, now don't take this personally but you're gonna have to go Fran.
Is this okay? Fran.
Fran, you all right? Oh, God.
Fran? Yeah, I need an ambulance at 500 North Sycamore.
I don't know, my friend collapsed.
And what were you doing when you fainted? We were just Looking for her cat.
And have you banged your head recently? No.
Is this a motion sickness patch? I must have forgotten to take it off.
I just got back from a trip.
Scopolamine can cause dizziness and blurred vision.
You probably hit your head when you fell, and that caused the blackout.
I thought those patches were supposed to prevent you from getting sick.
Every drug has a side effect.
But it might be a good idea to keep your eye on her for the next few hours to make sure she's okay.
Actually She has to get back to work.
Is it important? We just don't like people to be alone after they leave here.
I'm fine.
Really.
I'm Fran? Fran? I got a seizure.
Code cart.
What's wrong with her? I have no idea.
Where's House? I want my blankie! I want my blankie! I want my blankie! Antique vintner's cane.
Cost me $900.
It had a corkscrew in it.
That would explain the vintner's reference.
It could be used as a weapon against the pilot.
Only if he's stuck in a bottle of zinfandel.
You'll get it back when we land.
I want my blankie! I want my blankie! Give her 20 milligrams of antihistamine.
Could save her life.
'Cause if she doesn't shut up I'll kill her.
Delivering goodwill to yet another continent.
You only forced me to deliver a speech, not goodwill.
You gave a three-minute speech.
You know how much WHO accreditation means to the hospital? Well, it may have been short, but it had girth.
And the room service thing was just spiteful.
I was hungry.
$300 for a bottle of wine.
I was thirsty.
$120 on video services.
I was lonely.
That's 500 in expenses I can't justify.
Don't worry.
I'll take care of it.
Right.
Here you are, sir.
You're welcome.
Welcome aboard, Mr.
House.
You're right here in 2-A.
Ms.
Cuddy you're in the next cabin and to the left, 9-C.
No, I booked two first-class tickets.
This must be a mistake.
No mistake.
I just arranged for a $500 fare reduction.
Expense problem solved.
Where did you travel? Duluth.
To visit my sister.
Really? Is this her artwork? "Fire butt"? I was a little drunk.
Where were you a little drunk? I turned 58 last March.
Same age my mother was when she died.
Next week I packed a bag, I went to JFK, looked at the big board, took the first plane that went to a warm place.
Caracas.
Oh, my God.
Did you drink the water? Eat salads? Any raw foods.
Yup.
And? I also did mescal shooters and snorted cocaine from a homosexual man's stomach.
Did you have sex? No.
Not with him.
I had sex with El Gordo.
He was a large man.
Oh, my God.
I never do things like that.
I should have gone to visit my sister.
It was stupid.
That's why I'm sick, isn't it? It's possible.
Here you are.
Rib eye, medium rare.
Thank you.
Some more Pinot Grigio? No.
I think I will switch to the Syrah.
Sir, are you all right? He's drunk.
See? Does anyone speak Korean? Is anyone a doctor? Yes.
I'll go get her.
What do you want? Do you really think I was gonna leave you stuck back here for 18 hours? Go on, enjoy.
With the Vicodin and the wine I could sleep anywhere.
Thank you.
We should put her back on the scopolamine patch.
She can't wear motion sickness patches for the rest of her life.
No, but if it does relive her symptoms it'll narrow down our search.
Anything else you two guys wanna agree on? You have a problem with us agreeing? No, I have a problem with the other thing you're doing, which makes me question your motive for agreeing.
I'll put her back on the patch.
What else? It's gotta be something neurological.
We should do a CT, look for a brain tumor.
Could also be an allergy or something environmental.
We should check her home.
Bit more likely she got sick in Caracas than in New Jersey.
Right, I forgot.
There are no toxins in the US.
I think I'm starting to feel sorry for House.
Get a tox screen, chem-20, STD panel, blood cultures.
Then you run a CT and you check her house.
Please.
Not funny.
Wasn't supposed to be funny ha-ha.
Fever, headache, severe abdominal pain, and a rash all over his lower back.
It's serious.
Maybe contagious.
We just attended a symposium on pandemics and you run right into one on the flight home.
Talk about a small world.
If it's meningococcus, half the passengers on this plane could get infected and die before we reach New York.
Is someone sick? No.
Someone has a hangover.
He had a snootload of Bloody Marys before dinner.
Watch the movie.
That booze did not give him the rash.
It is textbook meningococcus.
It's also textbook allergic reaction to pollen, peanuts, and the semen-stained polyester blanket he's lying on.
Mr.
Peng's throwing up again.
We have to turn around.
What? Why do we have to We don't.
You misunderstood.
Dr.
Cuddy just meant that he might feel less nauseous if he was facing in a different direction.
She didn't mean to panic a planeload of people.
We're about to head over the North Pole.
We don't turn back now, the next ER's 15 hours away.
He'll be fine.
I'm a doctor, too.
You haven't examined him.
Korean male, mid 30s, scar on the right side of his jaw, medic alert bracelet on his left wrist indicating that he's allergic to, at least, penicillin.
Without any way to do an LP or rule out meningococcus, our only choice is to assume the worst.
Good point.
On the other hand, I am a board-certified specialist in infectious disease.
She assigns parking spaces.
Please let me know if he gets any worse.
Think we should feed the cat? Bowl's full.
If he wants it, he can get it.
Cadmium yellow? Heavy metal poisoning would explain the ataxia and the seizures.
Not unless she was painting with her tongue.
Was Foreman right? Did you agree with me because of our relationship? "Relationship"? You know what I mean.
You mean because of our lack of a relationship.
I mean, because we're having sex.
Yes.
Foreman's right.
I thought you were completely wrong about the medicine, but agreed with you anyway because I figured then you'd do me in some old lady's home.
Then well played.
Come on, we're supposed to be looking for toxins.
We agreed it was a brain tumor.
What? He's watching.
Haven't you had anybody watch before? Is that guy really sick? No.
He's all better.
I don't believe you.
Look that way.
Why? Because you're gonna throw up and I don't want it on me.
I'll get some towels.
Give her a banana.
Monkey see, monkey barf.
You smell vomit Okay.
Wasn't expecting that.
I need help.
Who doesn't? I need someone to talk to.
Can you say, "Crikey, mate"? Crikey, mate.
Perfect.
Now no matter what I say, you agree with me, okay? Okay.
Nicely done.
And you disagree with everything I say.
Sorry.
Not understanding.
That's close enough.
And you get morally outraged at everything I say.
That's a permanent marker, you know.
Wow.
You guys are good.
We are looking for the simplest way to explain these symptoms.
Organophosphate poisoning.
Some international flights spray pesticides.
Could be.
Sorry, English not so nice.
Is this a joke? Just passed the halfway mark.
Can't turn around.
Nice call.
No worries.
We think it's pesticide poisoning.
We don't spray these flights.
Dramamine overdose.
Wouldn't explain the fever.
Jet lag.
Wouldn't explain the abdominal pain.
Deep vein thrombosis.
Wouldn't explain the nausea.
Food poisoning.
What was on the menu? Steak and sea bass in First Class.
Fettuccine and seafood kebabs in Economy.
Since when does food poisoning cause a rash? Sea bass, seafood kebabs? He had the sea bass.
Please tell me she had the kebabs.
I think so.
Ciguatera poisoning.
It's an instant-onset toxin.
Symptoms include E.
All of the above.
It's only found in certain kinds of tropical game fish such as Sea bass? Make sure you get a resume from him.
Hello? Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a brief announcement concerning your meals.
If you ate the sea bass or the seafood kebabs, you have ingested a dangerous toxin.
However, if you proceed to the restrooms both on your left and right at the rear of the plane and vomit as soon as possible, the toxic effect should be minimal.
What? Thank you, and have a pleasant flight.
Meningococcus makes just as much sense.
I know.
What did you find? Nothing in her house.
Big waste of time.
Medically.
CT was a complete waste.
She was negative for tumors, her blood was negative for drugs, heavy metals, tropical diseases, food poisoning, and STDs.
Also no sign of lead poisoning or sepsis.
Apparently Venezuelan tattoo parlors have standards after all.
Good to know.
We sure she's even sick? Two more seizures in the last two hours.
Which is slower than she was having them before you put the patch back on.
I'm an idiot.
She's exposed herself to so much crap I just assumed it was a zebra.
It's breast cancer.
Since when is breast cancer treatable by motion sickness meds? It's not.
But the inflammation caused by the paraneoplastic syndrome caused by the cancer can be reduced by anticholinergics.
Hey, here you go.
Is he gonna die? We're doing all we can.
We don't know what's wrong with him yet.
Am I gonna die? No.
Here, chew on these.
Good news is all the pilots are red meat men.
Although I was kind of looking forward to landing this puppy myself.
Peng's getting worse.
That makes sense.
First Class ate before Coach.
He digested more of his food before he threw up.
Or you're wrong and we're gonna start seeing neurological symptoms soon.
Seizures, paralysis, ataxia.
We're not gonna see ataxia.
You're so sure you're right.
No.
It's just hard to show clumsiness when you're lying moaning in a fetal position.
Hey, stand up.
Does nobody speak Korean on this flight? I assumed you did.
I know how to ask him if his sister's over 18, I just don't think that's gonna help.
Hey, stand up.
Stand up.
Don't play the cripple card with me.
Oh, hi.
I'm leaving.
Work.
Okay.
Important client.
Sure.
Listen.
Are you close? Why? She needs a mammogram.
Oh, God.
I know I'm throwing a lot at you.
She just has no family in town.
And I really think she could use a friend right now.
Okay.
Put your hand here.
You don't have to stay.
No, it's no problem.
But why? You don't even know me.
You gotta be scared.
I almost hope it's breast cancer.
No.
Then it wouldn't be my fault.
Whatever it is, it's not your fault.
That's not true.
You can control things.
Not everything.
But you don't have to take stupid risks.
I was being an idiot.
You were having fun.
You have regrets? Yeah.
Robin? Hold still.
Good.
Okay, we're gonna get just one more.
I'm sorry, I know it hurts.
It's not that.
It's my eye.
My right eye.
I can't see.
It's definitely ataxia.
And it's definitely a rash.
You gonna look at it for five more minutes before concluding it's also definitely a leg? Thin leg.
It's been in a cast.
So? So it could be radiation poisoning.
From a broken leg? From the x-rays they took of it.
He could break every bone in his body and still not have enough x-rays to cause radiation sickness.
Unless those x-rays were performed in Wankoff, North Korea, by a third-grade dropout with a 50-year-old imager.
Which accounts for the absence of fur.
Radiation poisoning accounts for all his symptoms.
I have hair.
I haven't had an x-ray since I got my teeth whitened.
You're pregnant.
I'm what? Explains the nausea, abdominal pains, fever, and why you're stuffing your 36Cs into a 34B bra.
And her rash? PUPPPs.
Common pregnancy rash.
I can't be pregnant.
You a virgin? No, but You're pregnant.
Mazel tov.
Let's get him into the chair.
Two different diagnoses.
I thought you didn't believe in coincidences.
I believe in statistics.
Two hundred passengers on the plane, 10 should be gay, two should be with child, and one should be incredibly annoying with an extra ass chromosome.
House.
Get him some iodized salt to protect his thyroid.
I'm going back House.
You're wrong.
I said we should have turned back.
You should have listened to me.
Now we're eight miles over the Arctic I'm trying to listen to you now, so shut up.
Heart's fine.
Breasts are firm.
Is it contagious? A lot of the passengers are scared.
Tell them there's nothing to worry about.
Is there something to worry about? Yeah.
Tell them there's nothing to worry about.
And get me a flashlight.
Cover your left eye with this.
Photophobia.
Symptom of meningitis.
We need antibiotics.
I'll call down to the pharmacy.
You're creeping me out.
Then get me a lab.
Pseudomonas smell yeasty, staph smells musty, and some liver disease smell of ammonia.
House.
I'm not in heat.
Citrus-y on the nose with a blush of toasted coconut.
I need to get a better look at your rash.
Use your imagination.
Fine, should I go with Lifeguard Cuddy or Mother Superior Cuddy? Three more passengers are sick.
If we don't get drugs, we're gonna have a lot of dead passengers.
Blindness in her right eye indicates it's not breast cancer.
It's likely neurological.
I just met her today.
You should go.
She needs someone here.
That's not your job.
Please let me know that she's okay.
It's just sex.
There's no such thing.
Other eye.
Are you saying women can't separate the physical from the emotional? No one does it well, women do it worse.
You just want us to stop because you think it's affecting Me.
Yeah.
Polyspikes are over 01 and 02.
That's her left eye.
Burst suppression on every lead.
Fran? She's comatose.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Come on, nobody has no meds! Excuse me.
Open your mouth.
Where's the acyclovir? I'm not on any meds.
Well, you better get some.
You've got herpes.
What do you know? He's got some.
This must be your lucky day.
This is for real.
People are sick.
Some of us will be deplaning in body bags unless you cough up.
Here.
Over here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
God bless you.
Her brain is shutting down because of intracranial pressure.
Or her nerves are dying.
Because of the increased pressure.
She has a bleed in her brain.
You said the CT showed No tumors.
But if she has an AVM leading to a cerebral hemorrhage, we could've missed it.
She needs a burr hole to relieve You wanna drill into her brain because of an invisible bleed the CT couldn't see? We should do an LP to confirm the presence of red blood cells.
And her brain herniates and then she dies.
Right.
Better to kill her in the OR.
Chase, what do you think? Here's a cliffhanger.
I think it would help to know what she has before we start digging into her brain.
Might be better to play it safe to start.
Do an LP.
Sex better be damn good.
Lot of apples, not many candy bars.
Any antibiotics? Three caps of Augmentin.
For six patients.
Give them to Peng.
He's allergic to penicillin.
The First Aid kit has two epi pens.
If he has a severe reaction, You take the pills.
He's worse.
He's a guy who doesn't speak English.
Give him the meds.
If it's not meningitis, we're risking his life and flushing meds down the toilet.
Then do an LP on him.
If it's clear, you win.
If it's cloudy he gets the Augmentin.
And we risk a reaction.
Sounds like a plan.
All except for the part where we don't have an LP needle.
And the shaking of the plane means I'll probably pierce his spinal cord and cripple him for life.
But, I mean, it totally sounds like a plan.
You're right.
Let him die.
Give me the meds.
Got it.
Damn.
What is it? Shut up.
Don't get hysterical.
Just tell me what the hell it is.
House.
We should have turned back.
We should have turned back.
House.
Hold this.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a passenger with a confirmed case of bacterial meningitis.
Unless we land as soon as possible, the passenger will not survive.
It's very likely that some of you have been infected as well.
As soon as you start feeling symptoms, we need to isolate you in First Class cabin.
Fever, rash, nausea, and in the late stages tremor in the left hand.
I've got that.
Oh, God.
What do we do? It's really bad.
Break out the bubbly.
Yo, listen up.
The bad news is, you have an illness.
The good news is it's not meningitis.
It's not fatal, it's just embarrassing.
It's conversion disorder, more commonly known as mass hysteria.
It happens often in high-anxiety situations, especially to women.
I know it sounds sexist, but science says you're weak and soft.
What can I do? House, you're wrong.
Look at my hand.
Yeah.
Look at her hand.
Shaking left hand.
What is that a symptom of? Not meningitis.
It's basically a symptom of nothing.
I put the idea into their heads and watched it happen.
Same thing Peng cruelly did with the puking and the rash.
The rash is in my head? Your mind controls your body.
If it thinks you're sick, it makes you sick.
It just started.
If you'll all just calm down, your symptoms will soon go away.
And to facilitate this process, your flight crew will move through the cabin with a complimentary bar service.
Thank you and, as always, have a pleasant flight.
Still feel like puking? No.
How did you know? LP was negative.
I came up with an alternate theory and I tested it.
Couldn't have done it without you.
Rage is a symptom of mass hysteria.
Just one more thing to clean up.
Peng set off the mass hysteria.
What set off Peng? He really is dying.
Yeah.
I haven't the faintest idea why.
What's extension pasturing? It's when you're molested by a priest's cousin.
Do we really need these three? Worried they'll make you look bad? Could be symptomatic of head trauma, cerebral infarction, or intracranial hemorrhage.
Thoughts? How long until we land? Too long to wait.
His head's as smooth as a baby's bottom, no bumps.
So I think we can rule out head trauma.
But you gotta choose between what's left, a clog or a leak? You're talking of toilet? House, is this actually helpful? Not so far.
What about syphilis? Well, first of all, he apparently speaks a language no one else speaks, which makes talking up the ladies a little rough.
We're flying out of Singapore.
If he has a credit card and a condom, he can get anything he wants.
What? Condoms.
He has focal limb paralysis.
His legs got paralyzed by a condom? No, by cocaine.
It was inside the condom.
It's now spreading through his digestive tract.
You think he's a mule.
I think he's a jackass.
We're gonna have to operate.
Cool! They're gonna kill her.
We were wrong.
Which means Foreman was right.
Maybe Foreman's right about us, too.
Maybe we should just stop all this.
I mean, if it's affecting our jobs.
It's not affecting our jobs.
We had sex in a patient's bedroom.
A bedroom we were examining for toxins.
Yeah, our judgment's right on the mark.
All right.
No more sex in patient's homes, no more sex with cats watching.
Anywhere else you wanna cross off the list? The bowl.
What? Has she eaten since she's been here? She's been sick since she's been here.
What if it's a symptom? Well, why would you think The bowl was full.
You're gonna need to hold him down.
He's not gonna like this.
Do you really think he's a mule? Fits the symptoms.
You sure he's not contagious? Pretty much.
You can't be pretty much sure.
Means you're not sure.
Oh, aren't you clever? Come on.
I know you're pretty much unconscious, but as has been pointed out to me, pretty much doesn't mean squat.
Okay, hold him tight.
The faster we do this, the less likely he is to die of shock.
Tighter.
Sorry.
Do that again.
Ease off and then press down.
Pressure on his joints relieves his pain.
Okay.
Wrong again.
Where's his wallet? Scuba certification card.
Big deal.
I have one of these.
Yeah.
But do you also have a receipt from Tekong's Scuba Rental dated yesterday? Tell the Captain to drop as low as he can, under 5,000 feet.
We're at 38,000 Peng's got the bends.
He went diving yesterday.
Like an idiot, he surfaced too quickly, and like a bigger idiot, he boarded a flight which is pressurized to 8,000 feet above sea level.
Low pressure is killing him.
Tell the pilot to dive until we can club baby seals out of the window.
And get him some oxygen.
Fifty years ago, it was one estate.
The two homes shared an electrical system.
Unfortunately, the exterminator didn't know that, so when they fumigated next door, the poison gas flowed through the old pipe and into your house.
The scopolamine patch was masking the effects of the poison.
You'll have to stay here for a few more days, but after that you should be fine.
I'm sorry about your cat.
And your hair.
For 12 years, Harrington never left the property.
I thought I was being punished for going away, but really I was being punished for coming home.
Thank you.
I saved your life.
You owe me.
I wasn't sick.
But you didn't know that.
You owe me.
I know it now.
Your mind convinced your body to get a rash, photophobia, vomit.
How do you know it wouldn't have shut down your cold, cold heart next? I don't owe you.
You're mean.
That's how I compensate for being weak and soft.
I just wanted to say thank you.
You're extremely welcome.
And I'm in New York every Monday.
Are you handicap accessible? Hi, Robin? This is Dr.
Wilson.
Fran's doctor.
James.
It was a toxin.
We caught it in time, and she's gonna be fine.
Yeah, it is.
Listen, I was just wondering if you were coming back in again to visit.
Nice catch.
Thanks.
Think even House would be impressed.
I don't know about that.
Any idea how you wanna celebrate? What? I want more.
I thought you were getting a little worn out by No, that's not what I meant.
I know.
I was just hoping you'd take the hint and pretend you never said that.
I want this to be more than it is.
I thought we were clear.
In the beginning, but you can't tell me Yes, I can.
And I don't.
It was fun.
That's it.
And now it's over.