How to Be a Cowboy (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1
[country music playing]
[Dale] Whoa.
[clicking tongue]
- Hey, Leroy.
- [Leroy] Yeah.
Can you bring me
that, uh, Navajo saddle pad?
[Leroy] You bet.
You'll probably wanna use this one.
- Which one?
- [Leroy] This black one.
He won't use the Navajo.
That's Boone's. It'll slide all over him.
Yeah, but that one looks more ranch-y,
more cowboy.
This one fits him, though.
Like, it's lighter. It's It's for him.
Yeah, but I like that one.
It ain't always about the looks.
It's about what he needs.
Well, I need the Navajo one.
He needs the black one.
Why are you so cranky?
- You never take my advice.
- I take your advice all the time.
When? Like, you're not taking it now.
[country rock music playing]
Whoa ♪
Just put the Navajo pad on him, please.
[Leroy] Dale's always done things his way.
I do things my way, and, uh
when he sticks to his guns
and doesn't want to take my advice,
it bothers me. It bugs me quite a bit.
If you'd listen to me every now and then,
life would get easier, you know, right?
Me and Leroy have been rattling
each other's cages a lot lately.
You got it, Leroy?
[Leroy] Sure. You bet.
- Why'd I have to hook the truck up?
- [Dale] Because you work for me.
"You work for me."
- Who was right?
- I guess Leroy.
Wait, what? Who won?
[Dale] Sorry, Leroy,
I couldn't help myself.
I know you can't.
Did y'all see
how far I threw that dang loop?
[Leroy sighs]
[Dale] When Leroy and I start arguing,
it kinda kills the vibe here
at Radiator Ranch.
Fix your hair, Badger. You're a mess.
I'm not sure what it's gonna take
to get back on Leroy's good side,
but I'll find a way.
Which brings us to today's lesson,
cowboys do whatever it takes.
What was that? You do kinda like
this saddle pad, don't you?
[country music playing]
[gate squealing]
[cattle mooing]
[Dale] Yeah, she did!
- Yeah!
- [mooing]
Hold that lubricant for me.
We're gonna have to get in there
all the way to the shoulder.
- Are you ready?
- [Jorden] Yeah.
[Dale] I'm ready!
- Ever seen this done?
- [Jorden] No, I mean
- Never done it?
- I've never done it.
[Dale] It's calving season,
at least for this cow.
Palpating is essential to running a ranch.
Palpating a cow is when
you respectfully and consensually
put your arm into the rectum of the cow
to feel if she is pregnant
and how far along she is.
If you wanna learn about cow calf,
this is the time.
If you're as good as I am,
you can even tell its gender.
You wanna lube up?
Mmm
- You don't have to.
- [laughs]
I'm learning a lot
about ranching from Dale.
Palpating is one of those things
that takes a lot more skill.
- [Cheech] Glove up.
- Glove up.
For right now, you know, I'll just watch
him do it. He knows what he's doing.
[phone ringing]
[Dale] Cheech, will you answer that phone?
- I got you, D.B.
- [Dale] I'm almost done.
Put it on speaker.
[man on phone] Hey.
What's happening, my brother?
[Dale] Hey, Craig. How are you?
I love how Dale's just shoulder-deep
in this cow,
just casually taking a phone call.
[Craig] Now look here, I couldn't think
of anybody any more cowboy
or maybe tougher than Dale Brisby.
Do you think you'd be up for
a Cowboy Challenge?
Anything for my man Craig. That's awesome.
Basically, the Cowboy Challenge
is a series of ranch events.
We'll rope, we'll sort, we'll race.
It's very cowboy at its core.
[Craig] You'll need a partner,
a good cowboy partner.
Yeah, I got somebody in mind right now.
Yes sir, that would be perfect.
Not only will this be a great chance
to prove that Dale Brisby
is the greatest cowboy ever
Yes, sir. Have a good day. Bye.
it'll also be a good chance for Leroy
and I to be at each other's sides
and not each other's throats.
Dude, so, like, so, we're going.
Well, I'm going with Leroy.
I gotta take Leroy
because he's my brother
Oh, sure, go ahead.
I don't understand why
this is frustrating you.
I'm not frustrated.
Doesn't matter if he picks me or not.
You're a team roper.
My strength is roping.
My weakness is I don't have
an invitation to the Cowboy Challenge.
But I don't just team rope.
I cowboy stuff.
So if Dale's not gonna invite me, I'm just
gonna take matters into my own hands.
Two people can swing to this cowboy tune.
I'll get there.
One way or the other.
[Dale] Cheech, it's a boy.
Oh, you're you're
into the gender reveal thing.
- We're having a boy at Radiator Ranch.
- [Jorden chuckles]
[Dale] There she goes.
I need to get ready for my cowboy contest
while you clean up this mess.
[Cheech] Take your palpation gloves!
I'm the only one that really does
any kind of work here anyway.
[country music playing]
[Dale] Craig Cameron wants us
to come over.
[Leroy] What are we going for?
[Dale] Cowboy Challenge.
And you're gonna be my partner.
Is that cool with you?
- Why?
- [Dale] You're my brother.
It'd be a good way for us
to work on our communication.
We need to be gelling, okay? Synergy.
I imagine we're gonna
have to sort something.
We're probably gonna
have to rope something.
I mean, we need to practice.
Like, we haven't roped anything lately.
You don't think
I'm good at roping, do you?
[Dale] No, I just wanna hang out with you.
We got a couple days
before the Cowboy Challenge.
If we're gonna do this, I wanna win.
I can tell Leroy
is not interested in practicing.
Me and Leroy,
we've been brothers our whole lives.
So, I know how to motivate him.
That's why I got a little trick
up my sleeve.
I'm thinking tomorrow morning,
we get up real early and we'll go practice
at Trevor Brazile's house.
- Wait, we're going to Trevor's?
- [Dale] Yeah.
Trevor Brazile's the greatest roper
of all time.
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
that's the winningest cowboy
in the history of professional rodeo.
We get a tune up from Trevor
on our roping.
That'll be fun.
Now, if you're saying the King
of the Cowboys
wants to give me some roping lessons,
you freaking bet.
I'm excited to hang out with Trevor.
I was thinking maybe you'd be more
excited about, like, winning,
but if you're going just 'cause you wanna
hang out with Trev, that'll work too.
You bet. Are we gonna eat at Trevor's? Or
Is he cooking out?
- Why you worried about where we'll eat?
- Not worried about it. Just a question.
[country music playing]
[crickets chirping]
[birds chirping]
[Dale] This is Trevor Brazile.
Um, he's the 23-time World Champion.
Good friend of mine.
- [chuckles]
- Um
I'd be a great friend
if you'd get my credentials right.
Somewhere in 25 sounds better.
Twenty-five. Looks like he's won a couple
since we last hung out.
- [laughs]
- Um
Most of this is for Leroy,
because we need practice.
Got the Cowboy Challenge
coming up, and, uh, some of us
aren't taking it very serious.
- [man] How would you describe Dale Brisby?
- Oh my gosh.
Make no bones about it, he's a cowboy.
But he's had that kind of reach
through social media.
It's been pretty fun to watch.
I think everything he does just furthers
the cowboy cause, so I love it.
I mean, is it necessary
that you throw it that fast?
[laughs]
[Dale] Most cowboys know how
to throw three loops,
a head loop, a heel shot, and a houlihan.
- Ugh!
- It's all right. It's all right.
Gotta have somebody miss
so we can talk about it.
Bring your angle up a little flatter.
The head loop is an overhand loop
where you'd rope their neck.
Like that?
Yeah. Keep it up there.
There you go. Good job.
Got a good coach.
The heel loop is when you rope
this calf's hind feet.
And then, lastly, you've got the houlihan,
where you use the momentum of one swing
and bring your hand over.
You turn the loop over.
Let's see that houlihan there.
So, start with it on this hip
and just smooth around.
Just keep carrying it all the way around.
There you go.
I learned more in the 30 minutes
that we were there roping together
than I have in the last ten years
with Dale.
I honestly think he brought me for you
to show me more than anything.
[Dale] If Leroy learns something
along the way, all the better.
[country rock music playing]
- [line ringing]
- [man 1 on phone] Hello?
Did you get an invitation
to the, uh to the Cowboy Challenge?
[man] No.
[line ringing]
You know anybody
that might have gotten an invitation?
[line ringing]
- What's up, Matthew?
- [Matthew on phone] Who's this?
[line ringing]
[man 2] I heard J.B. Mauney's going.
Text him.
[Cheech] J.B. is one of the best
bull riders in the world.
[announcer] It is J.B. Mauney
up to the title!
[Cheech] He's famous.
He's also a great cowboy.
[announcer] This guy
makes it look so good.
[Cheech] He's one of Dale's friends
and one of mine.
So, my best chance is
to get hooked up with J.B. Mauney.
And if I'm gonna be a part of that deal,
it's time to get started to train.
[grunting]
- So, I started training
- [yelps, grunts]
hard.
[grunting]
Dale Brisby!
I haven't been able to connect
with J.B. Mauney yet,
but when I put my mind to something,
I don't quit.
[grunts]
[rock music playing]
[mooing]
- [Jorden] That cow had a calf.
- [Donnie] Did you see it or just hear it?
- [Jorden] I saw it.
- [Donnie] I heard it hit the ground
- [Jorden] I was looking right at it.
- [Donnie] It was like a thud too.
- [Dale] Ugh.
- [Jorden chuckles]
Jorden, this is the same cow
that we palpated the other day.
- Look at him! [laughs]
- [Donnie] That's crazy.
He just He just hit the ground
in the last 60 seconds,
and we're the first thing he sees.
- You ever seen a cow have a baby calf?
- [Jorden chuckles] No, I haven't.
Being able to see stuff like that,
seeing that calf born,
is the exact reason
why I wanted to come work for Dale.
[Dale chuckles]
That's his first time standing.
[Donnie] Oh my gosh,
if he starts nursing right now Go!
[Dale] Do it, baby.
Are you crying?
I'm a little emotional.
It's the circle of life.
Thought you were a cowboy.
And I'm also an animal lover.
[Jorden] Yes!
[Dale] That's the shot right there.
Listen, just to clarify,
I was not technically crying.
I got a little emotional
because I appreciate Mother Nature.
If you don't, then you ain't no cowboy.
Daddy's gotta go pay the bills.
- Stop calling yourself "Daddy."
- No.
It's weird, man.
[mooing]
[rock music playing]
I'm confident, but at the same time,
I kinda wanna be realistic.
I'm not the best cowboy.
Dude, you're the man.
It's gonna be fun. It's not gonna be work.
[Leroy] Are you talking like, it's gonna
be fun for you or fun for everybody?
[Dale] It's gonna be fun for both of us.
[upbeat music playing]
[mooing]
I'm here to party. You know
what I'm saying? But I mean business.
- I'm here to cowboy party.
- [Dale] Yeah.
Ranch Ranch some cattle.
- [Dale] It's rodeo time.
- [Leroy] Yeah.
Yeah, you did! Yeah, you did!
- What's he doing here?
- Why are you here?
- He's my partner.
- Yeah.
I know people. [scoffs]
Think you're the only connected person
in the Western industry? Watch me work.
Why is Cheech your partner?
- Because.
- Because I'm awesome.
'Cause y'all are going down.
With J.B. on my team,
Dale has some real competition now.
Dude, how are you that butt-hurt?
He's my brother.
How are you upset I chose my brother?
We've been working together
our whole life.
Think you can work better together
with him than I can?
Dude, J.B. is my friend.
Now you're pitting him against me.
Somebody's a little bit jelly.
They're a little bit jelly.
I had to play Dale Brisby
against Dale Brisby.
I'm not the butt of the joke anymore.
We're the real deals.
We're smoking pistols at this thing.
Our team's pretty strong too.
We've been practicing.
I think Cheech and J.B.
might make a good team.
We can go back to being friends
after today.
Little bit of vengeful feeling
from Cheech, competitiveness from J.B.
But they've not worked together before.
So, they don't have that going for them
like Leroy and I do.
What do you think, Craig?
[Craig] Well, I think it's time
to go to work.
[Dale] Craig Cameron
is a world-renowned horse trainer.
He's also in
the Texas Cowboy Hall of Fame.
An old-school cowboy. If that's what
you're looking for, he's the man.
I spent two summers at his house
as a kid learning how to train horses.
- Shall we?
- [Leroy] We shall.
[Dale] So, the teams are Leroy and I,
which we're solid.
Then you got Mr. Sneaky Cheech and J.B.,
which is messed up that he went
behind my back and got my friend.
Then, you got Bruce and Cole Cameron.
Bruce and Cole are like Peyton
and Eli Manning.
They're cousins,
they're really good cowboys,
and they're related to Craig.
Which might be cheating,
but I can't prove it.
Guys, you know, what we wanted to do
is show some cowboy tradition,
the cowboy way, the American cowboy.
Some of the work that he does
that you don't normally see.
It should be fun, should be exciting,
and we're gonna keep it traditional.
Some of the challenges
that we're gonna do,
sorting cattle, ranch roping,
even some cowboy chores.
So, these guys are gonna have to work
together and work with their horse.
So it's truly a team sport.
You ready to cowboy?
- Dale yeah!
- [laughs]
[Dale] The first event is sorting.
It's literally what it sounds like.
You sort calves
from one pen to another pen.
You got ten calves. They're all numbered,
and you gotta sort them out
in numerical order.
Craig will decide
what number we start with.
[Craig] Two!
[Dale] The timer stops
when you screw up the order of calves.
What calf? What number?
Oh, seven.
Ride!
Lucky seven!
- [Dale] Seven?
- [Craig] Go, go, go, go.
Go. Get in another one. Get eight.
Come on, boy, where you at?
Going into the sorting event, I feel good.
[Craig] Oh, look at him now.
Look at these cowboys work. Now, hurry.
Leroy and I, we got to sort cattle
on the ranch all the time.
This is something we do on the regular.
- [Craig] Nine. Put him in the nine.
- Zero.
[Craig] Zero, zero, zero!
Get out the gate.
Yes! They're doing way too good!
- Look at Dale! Put it on!
- [Leroy] Watch your back!
[Craig] Oh, look at that now!
Where you at, Two?
- [buzzer sounds]
- Oh!
- Time!
- My bad.
- It's all good.
- I pushed too hard.
I could have done better.
That's what's frustrating.
Guys, we are gonna start with number two.
Ride!
Oh, look at him now.
Damn, that was fast.
[Mauney] Watch your back!
- [buzzer sounding]
- [Craig] Oh! Time!
[Cheech] Sorry, J.B.
We didn't do very good.
I We Yeah, we didn't do real good.
[Craig] The Cameron boys,
get set and ride. Five! Five! Five!
Six, six, six, six, six, six, six.
Six is being tough.
There we go! There we go!
Seven, seven, seven!
There you got it. Hustle, hustle, hustle.
Nine!
Zero, zero, zero!
Oh no! Oh! Oh!
- [buzzer sounding]
- Oh! DQ.
[rock music playing]
All right, so the next event
is gonna be ranch roping.
[Dale] In this event,
each cowboy gets one minute
to rope as many calves as they can.
Each successful loop thrown
is worth one point.
[Leroy] I suck at throwing a houlihan.
Just get a huge loop.
Just get a huge loop and do your best.
After this event, the top two teams
are gonna advance to the finals.
Right now,
the Camerons have the most points.
But if Cheech and J.B.
do well in the roping,
then it could knock us out.
[horse neighing]
- Why don't get out of my face, J.B.?
- [Mauney] Play for keeps!
I play for keeps!
Leroy and I've been practicing
and working as a team when we rope.
We help each other. Now Craig's putting us
in there with our opponent.
- Watch it, J.B.
- I'm helping you.
This is classic Craig.
Up the stakes. I like it.
Take care of your horse.
Take care of your cattle.
And ride.
Oh Lord, have mercy.
Oh, we got a catch!
Boy, he's kicking some ass in there now.
- Oh! Look at him!
- [Mauney] He got him.
[Craig] Man, that looked sharp.
Oh, headshot! That's two!
That's two for the master right there.
That's right, J.B. You got the idea, J.B.
Don't worry. Oh!
- Houlihan for Dale Brisby! Time!
- [buzzer sounding]
Whoa, shoot.
[women laughing]
Trevor Brazile, thank you, my friend.
[Craig] Looks like we're about ready
to start again
with two, uh, contestants
from different teams right here.
[Leroy] When he told me about it,
I wasn't really pumped,
but, now that we're here,
and my competitive side's coming out,
it's go time.
[Craig] And ride.
- Come on, Bruce.
- You got it, Leroy.
[Leroy] Trevor showed me some things
to improve my roping,
and I'm pretty excited to show Dale I'm
a lot better roper than he thinks I am.
- [Dale] Attaboy, Leroy.
- [Craig] That's a catch!
That's a heel shot for Leroy,
headshot for Bruce.
That's a good heel shot, Leroy.
- [Craig] Oh, man!
- [Dale] Yeah! Through the horn! Attaboy!
[Craig] Yeah, baby!
- Mother
- It's all right, Leroy.
Time!
[Leroy] Thank you, sir.
Going to Trevor's really did help
with the heading and heeling.
It really helped us houlihan.
Just not today.
- Cheech, you still alive over there?
- Oh, yeah.
J.B. and I didn't do well
at the last event.
So, we need to win this event
to get to the finals.
And roping just happens to be my forte.
This here is Cheech's event.
[Craig] Get set.
[Mauney] Lay it down!
- No pressure, but we're losing!
- [Craig] Ride!
Cheech has got that tongue stuck out.
He's ready to rope something, son!
[Craig] Yeah!
He stuck it on him! He's like, bop!
[laughing]
[Craig] Come on, Cheech!
Oh! Cole Cameron got a headshot.
Oh, look at that! Look at that!
Cheech got a heel shot. Not bad!
[Dale] Yeah, Cole!
[Craig] Oh!
- Dang it!
- [Craig] Time!
[Dale] It's all right, Cheech.
All I can say is that
even winners lose sometimes, okay?
[rock music playing]
[glass shattering]
Can't say enough about my partner.
[man] You enter together
and get disqualified together?
- Correct.
- Correct.
- You ride 'em in, ride 'em out.
- All the way till the end.
- Yep.
- Ride or die.
We may not have won,
but I think, just by being here,
I proved to Dale I'll do whatever it takes
to get the job done.
Now we're fixing to roll on
to the feed race.
This is nothing but pure manual labor.
[Dale] In the feed race,
there's no point system.
So, right now, whoever can get these bags
across the water the fastest, wins.
It doesn't sound super hard,
but it's a lot of feed.
This is what's gonna happen.
They're gonna carry two bags at a time.
What we need to do is you get on one side,
I get on the other, throw 'em over.
Yeah.
This is great.
Leroy had a great showing in the roping
and we've advanced to the finals.
If he and I keep working well together
and seeing eye to eye,
then we might win this thing.
On your mark, get set, and work!
All together. Oh, man! Oh, man!
[Leroy] They didn't say
you couldn't throw 'em.
[Craig] Good Lord! Mercy! [laughs]
Luckily, Dale likes to work harder.
I like to work smarter.
[Craig] D.B. tore his shirt off!
Oh! [laughs]
The event kind of turned out lawless.
[Craig] Oh! Oh, he broke the feed sack!
[Dale] Which is even more cowboy.
And, uh, that's whenever
I just unleashed D.B.
[Craig] Look at Dale's shirt!
It was like cowboy
American Gladiators gone wrong.
[Mauney] Hey, good stack, guys.
[Craig] Hey, I think
he was shot down there!
[laughing] That's it.
[laughing]
[Leroy] It was a free-for-all and just
came down to who had the best brainpower.
Me.
Hey, we just won!
Our secret weapon was Leroy.
Time right there for D.B.
Right there!
He acts like he didn't wanna win,
but he's got the eye of the tiger.
He can't help it.
- You okay?
- [panting]
- Good job, Cole.
- Good job.
- Cole's like a brick wall.
- [chuckles]
- [man] Would you do it again next year?
- I'll probably not do it again.
I don't wanna rip up that many shirts.
It was a nice shirt.
I'm still sore.
I can't catch my breath still.
Well, the winner is, uh, D.B. and Leroy
right there, yeah.
Suck it! That's what I'm talking about!
Come here!
Cole Cameron!
[laughs]
I would do it again,
but there's gotta be more of a reward.
Money talks.
Leroy, help me! Help!
Leroy! Leroy!
- [Leroy] Where's your hat?
- [Craig laughs]
[Leroy] Bet that hurt.
[Craig continues laughing]
[Mauney] Yeah, boy!
[Cheech] Me and my partner,
we didn't do very good.
But watching Dale get thrashed
in the mud and in the water,
his shirt ripped, that was a win for me.
You're welcome. It was a big W.
- [Dale] Leroy, give me a hug.
- I'm good.
[Dale] At the end of the day,
me and Leroy did whatever it took to win.
We're buddies again.
- We're buddies.
- Okay.
[Dale] Guess I should be listening
to him a bit more around the ranch.
- [Craig] Good job, guys.
- Thanks.
[Dale] Even though Cheech
didn't have the best showing,
the fact that he did
whatever it took to get here
just proves that he's a real cowboy.
Good job, Leroy. Keep Ha!
[laughs]
[Western music playing]
[Dale] It's a boy.
You seriously never get to
see this in real life. [laughs]