How to Sell Drugs Online: Fast (2019) s03e03 Episode Script

1
"The power of co-decision"?
- Mm-hmm.
- [knocking]
[in Dutch]
I think it's about the password.
[Marlene, in Dutch] No.
It sounded more basic than that.
[Maarten] Moritz, you have to go now.
We have an important meeting.
[in Dutch] Maybe not enough praise.
I was just praising him last week.
- [Beeke] Hello.
- [man 1] Hello.
[in Uzbek] Please wait a moment. We're
discussing something with an employee.
[in English] Our Uzbek friends here
sold us 300 kilograms
of contaminated hydrochloride a month ago.
And now we want our money back.
[Beeke] Don't worry.
They can't understand us.
[Marlene] You can lead the meeting for us
if you'd like.
You did say you wanted
the power of co-decision.
- [man 1 in Uzbek] Who's the kid?
- [Moritz in Uzbek] Hello.
[breathing shakily]
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
[upbeat rock music playing]
- [keys jangling]
- [Maarten] Hey!
I have a very clear opinion
about what you said back there.
But I'm paid, friend, to have the opinion
of the people who pay my salary.
If you want my advice,
you should do the same
Frodo.
[whistling]
- [Moritz] Hi!
- [Jens] Moritz!
[Jens] Come here, please.
There's something we need to talk about.
Does it have to be now?
Yes. My house, my rules.
Technically, the house belongs
to that anonymous investor.
Just sit down!
This isn't your start-up.
I'm the boss here.
Due to the turbulent events
of recent weeks,
I've decided it's best
to call a family meeting.
We'll do one every week,
and maybe then you won't go all
on me again. So
What's, uh
So, what's up with you guys?
Is everything
fresh?
Yeah. Come on,
this is new for me as well, guys.
Well, now that you mention it, I do have
an official request to put forward.
Bonuslife moved to Rotterdam weeks ago.
Which, if you ask me,
was a very good decision.
But the garage is still full of computer
stuff and old cartons of iced tea.
- What do you need the garage for?
- I've drawn up a little proposal.
This is my five-year plan for the garage.
First of all, keep it simple
with just a green screen
and a little lighting.
Over time, it'll become
a real creator studio.
TikTok video content is the next
step for my influencer career.
This is great! It's good that you're
both earning your own money now!
And as for the garage, you can share it.
[groans]
It'll be good for you to spend
a little more time together, right?
[sighs]
[Moritz] Visionaries are always treated
in either one of two ways.
Either you and your ideas
aren't taken seriously at all,
or you're celebrated as a genius
for absolutely no reason.
But then how can that leave room
for growth?
Which is why there's one thing every
real visionary has come to recognise:
"Always hire people better than you."
Did you watch that Michael Jordan
documentary on Netflix?
I have zero interest in basketball,
but this guy is really interesting.
I'd never heard of him.
He was the best player in the league,
but his team only became unbeatable
when he realised he could let
his teammates score points for him.
Was that his own idea?
Of course not.
He had a good team of advisers.
People who are paid to give their
completely unbiased and honest opinion.
Not just on your strengths,
but especially on your weaknesses.
SUBJECT RE: APPOINTMENT CONFIRMATION
THIS EMAIL CONFIRMS OUR MEETING AT 4PM.
I AM LOOKING FORWARD
TO WORKING WITH YOU.
HEEY, EVERYTHING OKAY WITH LENNARD?
We all need good examples like that.
Role models.
People who show you how to navigate
life's highs and lows.
Hey!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Didn't help Steve Jobs, did it?
You know you're not taking
the maths exam today, right?
Yeah, I just wanted to bring you
some brain food.
Could you please stop worrying about me?
It was just something I ate.
Yeah, I've gotta go, um
you know, work out.
You can throw the core at Moritz's head
when you're done.
Bring you luck.
[PA system chimes]
Could you stop meeting up behind my back?
There's nothing wrong.
[beep]
[groans]
I can't wait until I never have
to do a third derivative again.
You never know
when it might come in handy.
- Hmm. What day is it today?
- Wednesday.
OK, I officially declare this day
Commemoration Day of the Liberation
of the Torments of Higher Mathematics.
Will you have time to celebrate later?
I can't today.
I have an important meeting after this.
OK.
[Moritz sighs]
Next week then?
OK, perfect!
And what shall we do?
Mmm decorate a coefficient tree?
Yeah! And then we'll do
some lively curve analysis.
Then in the morning, you'll derive the
square root out of an unknown number, eh?
- [Lisa and Moritz groaning]
- Ah, come on, guys.
[clears throat]
OK then, don't stress too much.
If you've done the practice tests,
you don't have anything to worry about.
These exams aren't that big a big deal.
I partied the night before my exam
and barely studied,
and, yeah, so as you can all see,
I've still managed to achieve
all the dreams I had in life.
[groans]
Yeah. Go ahead, begin.
- [Kira] Lenny is just too stubborn.
- We have to help him without him noticing.
We can't get him to a doctor
without him noticing.
Or we could do
some kind of crowdfunding for him.
What was the name of that baby
who got $2 million for an injection?
- That was so cute.
- Exactly.
Lenny is an overweight, white gamer
with a Monchhichi haircut.
That's one of the most hated demographics
in the world.
Can't you blackmail us more Bitcoins?
You know it's called phishing
because it's like fishing?
It takes forever to get a bite.
We'd make more money
if we got you an OnlyFans account, Dan.
You can use it to sell photos and videos
of yourself to followers.
It's a mix between Twitter and Patreon,
but more erotic.
Twinks like you are in demand on there.
First, I'm not a Twink. I'm a Twunk.
And don't ask how I know that.
And second that's a great idea!
It was a joke, Dan. Forget it.
I don't understand why that idiot
won't admit to himself
that it's getting fucking serious.
Well, maybe it's
- Nah, forget it.
- What did you say?
Maybe he's scared his girlfriend, who runs
away from things when they get serious,
will run away from things
when they get serious.
[indistinct chatter]
Bye, see you later.
[Lisa] Bye!
[phone chiming]
[phone] You have reached your destination.
Your destination is on the left.
[gulps]
Mr Zimmermann?
Can I get you anything?
A coffee, perhaps?
- Mmm No, thanks. I don't drink coffee.
- OK.
[inhales deeply, exhales]
[upbeat classical music playing]
Hmm
[classical music intensifies]
- [man 1] So?
- Huh?
What are you doing here?
Student internship?
No. I'm here to discuss my company.
Oh.
Cool.
[man 1 chuckles]
I had a student business at your age too.
It's a good thing to do.
We kind of [scoffs]
What's the business in?
Ah!
I bet it's some sort of [scoffs]
climate protection nonsense.
Am I right?
Or animal rights?
[man 2] Mr Muller von Blumencron.
Your meeting
has been postponed indefinitely.
Please discuss the details
with Ms Habel, okay?
Hello, Mr Zimmermann.
Ilgen. Very pleased to meet you.
Has somebody offered you a coffee?
Um
[slurping]
[gulps, groans]
[Ilgen] Never judge a book by its cover.
Yeah, he was pretty arrogant.
I mean my book.
Cut the Crap.
It's what's inside that counts.
- I definitely thought it was a good read.
- But I thought you wrote it.
[Ilgen] Your business plan.
A forecast of 15 annually,
in the average case, in the first year.
By selling food supplements for gamers,
or whatever it is that's behind it.
We don't need to talk about that.
Impressive.
[inhales deeply] California Rolls?
- Hmm?
- Or Inside Outs?
- Neither
- What sushi do you want?
Ah, oh
In e-commerce,
you're one of the best CEOs in the world.
You're extremely good at being at the head
and leading a team of employees.
I'm sorry. This salad is really hot!
[Ilgen] Pushing people
to accomplish things
they didn't realise they were capable of.
Right? Or not?
- [mumbling] Mm-hmm.
- So, why aren't you at the top?
- [Moritz gasps]
- Listen, Moritz.
- Do you mind if I call you Moritz?
- No.
People like to find fault in others.
But in this case,
there's only one problem.
That's you.
Hmm?
And we need to work on that.
But I'm not a mentor.
A mentor does what you do, but better,
because they've been doing it longer.
It's just a game of imitation.
I I'm a coach.
I look at what you do and how you do it.
Then I tell you what to do differently,
in order to be better at what you do.
I'm the coach
and you are the shooting guard.
I tell you how the ball is thrown,
and you score the points.
See that?
[man talking on tablet]
That was him alright.
If I was gonna work with somebody,
they had to be the best. [chuckles]
[Ms Habel] It would be over a period
of six months.
Your first meeting is in two weeks.
He's worth every cent, I promise.
[inhales deeply, exhales]
ENTREPRENEUR
LEGALLY BINDING SIGNATURE
I'll pay in cash.
Oh
Could I have a glass of water?
It's special green screen paint.
That's just what it costs.
They can mix that at the shop, okay?
It's exactly the same green.
- [Marie sighs]
- Hey, Moritz?
You want a new colour
for your half of the garage too?
We're going to the DIY shop in a minute.
[groans] No.
Sharing the garage would be a compromise
that doesn't benefit anyone.
So, just take the whole of the garage,
and focus on your internet career.
I mostly work from Rotterdam now anyway.
My bathroom there
is as big as your fucking garage.
Mmm! I'd also like to introduce a motion
to abolish the family meetings.
Any objections?
Abstentions?
Okay then. Good. That's that then.
[Moritz] Powerful people will always look
for ways to keep you feeling small
by reducing you to your weaknesses.
But with the right consultants
who can keep an eye on your weaknesses,
you can focus fully on your strengths.
My people, what's up?
It's me, Magic Michael.
Are you an influencer? Good looking?
I will show you
how to make money online fast.
[cash register dinging]
Not a dream. It's reality.
With OnlyFans
and my master plan.
[sighs]
['80s pop music playing]
[Skype ringing]
ISERLOHN UNIVERSITY
F-f-f-f-fuck.
[breathing deeply]
UNI INTERVIEW
Hi! Uh Good morning.
[groaning]
- Lenny?
- [Lenny] Hmm?
- [video game character grunts]
- [Kira] So we both know where we're at.
If stuff with your cancer gets really bad,
it's not a problem for me.
Of course it's not a problem for you.
It's a problem for me.
Yeah, fuck.
- [Kira] That was shit phrasing.
- [Lenny] Really shit phrasing.
Can I try again?
Yeah.
Go on then.
Well, I thought
you were worried that your girlfriend,
who runs away when things get serious,
was maybe going to run away
when things got serious.
Uh Interesting thought.
Yeah, now I'm definitely worried
about that.
Oh, you shouldn't be worried about that,
you ball bag.
What I mean is
normally, negatively charged electrons
repel each other.
But under certain conditions,
they can also form Cooper pairs.
- [Lenny groaning]
- I think we're like a Cooper couple.
- [Lenny groaning]
- Yeah, I know that was cheesy!
- [Lenny groaning]
- Yeah!
[grunts]
[screams, groans]
Shit.
- [screaming in pain]
- Shit!
Our customer satisfaction is excellent.
Actually, only praise
and positive feedback.
But we have to rethink
our customer care philosophy.
And this is why.
This user, for example, Bronco Extreme,
wrote in a forum
that his order did not arrive
and he didn't get his money back.
320 euros.
So, we did a little research and found out
where it got stuck, thanks to Mareike.
Good work.
It was the fault of the customer,
so no right to refund.
That's the current policy.
But the thread already got
24 negative comments.
Not that much,
but I would say, an average that
[door opens]
This results in a total average reach
of 3,200 users.
That sounds a little low at first.
But with 120,000 orders,
averaging 40 euros,
that's 38,400 euros a month
potentially slipping through our fingers.
38,400 euros
versus 320 and, um a satisfied customer,
whose order, by the way,
cost us only 60 euros to produce.
So, um, yeah,
I would say let's get on with it.
Then we just have to see
how we can distribute the capacities.
And, and yeah, I think we can do that.
- [door closes]
- I'm glad we talked.
[in Dutch] Did you know about that?
[in Dutch] No. But we should take a closer
look. It sounds like a lot of money.
[in Dutch] But let's not tell him.
Otherwise he'll go even crazier.
[both laughing]
[in Dutch] And who's this guy in the suit?
[Beeke, in Dutch] No clue.
[in English]
Moritz, could we speak in private?
[mumbling]
Well, you'll also profit from me
being a better manager
[Ilgen chuckles]
You should really look at those numbers
again, you know.
The boy knows what he's talking about.
[Ilgen chuckles]
Well done. I'll see you tomorrow
for our next meeting.
[in Dutch] I realise how this looks,
but you can trust me.
No one will hear anything from me.
Is Nico Rosberg's name
in the Panama Papers?
I'm not gonna tell you.
Professional confidentiality.
What I can tell you
is that you're dealing here
with a very talented kid.
Yes.
I've seen plenty of talent in my time,
but this kid? Boom!
Whatever your line of business is,
without him, you're not gonna make it
in the e-commerce business or
- [high-pitched ringing]
- [Ilgen screaming]
[screaming]
[in English]
Are you out of your fucking mind!
[screaming in pain]
She shot me in the fucking foot!
[in Dutch] Hey. Do you want a coffee?
[in Dutch] Yes, thanks.
[man 1] Out of the way.
We've got to hurry.
- [man 1] Are you coming with us?
- I I
[Lenny] Huh?
- Sorry Lenny! I
- [man 1] That's a no.
- [man 1] We can go.
- Kira?
[siren wailing]
[Maarten] Have you ever heard of loyalty?
You can't walk in with some random guy.
What did you expect?
That Marlene and Beeke would step aside
and make you boss because of this fool?
This isn't a silly start-up, Moritz.
In this business,
you don't win by knowing the most.
You win by knowing the most
about your partners!
- Right, Mr llgen?
- Wait, Maarten.
[Ilgen groans in pain]
Here. You know what?
Call him a taxi.
This stays between us, right?
- Like Nico Rosberg and the Panama Papers?
- [mumbling]
Good. Thank you for working with me.
As for the 250,000
Keep the change.
Be a dear and wait here, okay?
[Ilgen yells in pain]
[Ilgen groaning in pain]
I think you misunderstood!
That was my last attempt
at resolving things peacefully,
- although you're obviously not interested.
- Hey!
[tutting]
If you have a problem
with the way I do business,
then shoot me right here, right now.
Go on!
You like doing that, don't you?
- [Maarten scoffs]
- Yeah, I thought as much.
But you know what?
I don't care if you treat me
like a pile of shit, I'm done!
You're going to have to find another idiot
to keep your customers happy
and your server location safe.
Your way of working
is not my way of working.
And Maarten, what was it you just said?
"Here you win by knowing the most
about your partners," right?
Say hi to Maria.
I read your WhatsApp history. I'm on her
side when it comes to the custody issue.
And her new boyfriends as well.
You don't know who he is, do you?
He's a judge in a family court.
I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Good luck to you!
And Marlene? Welcome to the future.
"Password123" isn't exactly
a real password.
And by the way,
Tinder has 2-factor authentication.
You might want to look into that.
Although, that guy seemed
pretty nice yesterday.
What was he called?
Ronnie?
And Beeke, webdoctor. nl
is no substitute for psychotherapy.
But the books in your Amazon basket
might be a good start.
On that note, I wish you all
the best of luck for the future. I quit!
[door slams shut]
[Beeke sighs]
[all laughing]
Oh!
- [Marlene, in Dutch] What a shame!
- [Beeke] He'll be back.
Yeah.
[reporter] Business consultant
Peter Ilgen has been arrested
in connection with the Panama Papers
scandal. He is accused
Well, yeah.
You can't be right about everyone.
In addition, several kilograms of drugs
were found in the consultant's premises.
[Moritz] I was so wrong about the Dutch.
Lenny was right.
I should have never trusted them.
It's not about the money, for me.
It never was.
I just thought if I did everything right,
then the Dutch would have to love me.
But that was never gonna happen,
and now they probably want to kill me.
But maybe they'll just leave me alone and
I can go back to being a normal student.
THANKS FOR THE GARAGE.
[Moritz] Everything's fine right now.
I just need to cover my tracks
and then I'm out.
RESTORE LAST SESSION?
HAPPY FRIENDVERSARY WITH LENNY!
[uplifting music playing]
[Moritz] And welcome
to the Making Of Jurassicformers 5.
[Lenny] Rawr!
[Moritz laughing, imitates rocket]
- Did you get it?
- Can you see it?
- I think it'll land in the tree.
- Megafail!
- Whoa, what is that? A boot?
- How does it look?
Doesn't matter. Nobody's gonna watch it.
- [camera shutter clicking]
- [likes popping]
[boy] What are you doing here?
Being ill.
[boy] Yeah, but what illness do you have?
[Lenny] You won't have heard of it.
[boy] I want to be a doctor.
I know more than you think!
Osteosarcoma.
Ah, bone cancer!
Teleangiectatic or periosteal?
Two or three?
How many months do you have left to live?
[music stops]
[boy] Hmm.
I'm Fabi, by the way.
Did you know that osteosarcoma
existed 1.7 million years ago
in or human ancestors?
They found it in a fossil, you know?
Cool, yeah?
And Osteosarcoma
is often linked to radiation.
- Do you live near a nuclear power plant?
- Shut it!
[Lenny sighs]
[door opens, closes]
Ah, Mr Sander.
[indistinct video game dialogue]
And why do you have HIV?
Excuse me?
Our diagnostic cuddly toys.
That's HIV.
It belongs to Fabi.
[clears throat]
- [Lenny] I guess I got lucky.
- Well, if I was given the choice
HIV is something you can live with
these days. Right, Fabi?
- Yep!
- Why are you here if you're doing so well?
Well, I've also got cancer.
- Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
- Fabi
could you please give us
a few minutes alone?
[video game beeping]
Compared with HIV, your osteosarcoma
Well, you can see for yourself.
On top of that,
it's started to grow again.
So, let's talk about your options.
So! This game here has only just come out.
And here's the deal.
You play as this teenager
in the wheelchair,
but unfortunately he also has bone cancer.
The goal is to beat the cancer.
That's why we've got
this little doctor over here.
So, theoretically he could cure us,
but at the start of the game
there's no way you can afford it.
The insurance company says
you'll only get the therapy you need
once you've taken enough
of these little pills here.
Unfortunately, they have
a lot of side effects
and they don't cure the cancer,
So, they're pretty useless
if I'm honest with you.
That doesn't matter because
unfortunately the insurance company
has a contract with the pharmaceutical
company who makes the pills.
So
You should take some time to discuss it
with your loved ones, okay?
["Money" playing]
The best things in life are free ♪
PASSWORD - SHOW PASSWORD
I want money ♪
That's what I want ♪
That's what I want ♪
MOMS EBANKING
JUST FOR EMERGENCIES
MOMS E-BANKING
That's what I want ♪
That's what I want ♪
That's what I want ♪
Your love gives me such a thrill ♪
But your love won't ♪
HELLO, MS BECHTOLZ
ACCOUNT OVERVIEW
SHOW MORE, YOU TWUNK!
That's what I want ♪
GOOD AFTERNOON, xKIRA7
PAYPAL BALANCE
AVAILABLE
I want money ♪
I need so much money ♪
That's what I want ♪
Give me, give me! ♪
That's what I want ♪
SUSPICIOUS ACCOUNT ACTIVITY DETECTED.
SUSPICIOUS ACCOUNT ACTIVITY DETECTED.
- No idea what's going on.
- That's why they've blocked the account.
I want money ♪
[dialling tone]
That's what I want ♪
[groaning]
DON'T FEEL TOO SAFE
TURN YOURSELF IN
WHILE YOU STILL CAN
THE POLICE KNOW YOUR NAME
[gasping]
[breathing heavily]
[mobile phone vibrates]
LENNY IS IN THE HOSPITAL.
IT'S SERIOUS.
[sighs]
[dramatic music playing]
[panting]
Sorry, Lenny.
I hate myself for not going
in the ambulance with you.
[panting] Lenny, I'm sorry.
I tried to come as quickly as possible.
I didn't know that
There was something
I needed to take care of.
I was trying to get
at my parents' accounts, and well
unfortunately it didn't work out.
[Moritz] Oops!
Watch out.
- [man 1] Milena Bechtholz?
- Would you come with me?
Shit.
[gulps]
I knew the side effects were bad,
but I didn't think they'd kick in so fast.
I wanted
To bring me the money
for the stem cell therapy?
Thank you! Great. Leave it on the table
next to the chemo pills.
I'm broke.
I wish I was lying, but
it's all gone.
- I should've asked how you're doing
- As if that would have changed anything.
This time I've fucked up.
Now I have no money and the Dutch hate me.
Let me guess. Did you wear blue
in the office on their national holiday?
I quit.
Technically, I insulted them
for five minutes and then left.
[Moritz sighs]
You would have been proud.
You were right, Lenny.
The Dutch don't take me seriously.
I could probably go back next week
and pretend nothing happened.
But there's no way I'm doing that.
I never want to work with them again.
You'd rather die, right?
What?
No, of course not.
Well
I mean, even
Even if we are still ridiculously young,
if we actually died tomorrow
we would still have had an awesome life.
Drug lords at 17.
Reddit front page for three hours,
minimum!
Who can say that about themselves, huh?
[Moritz] Do you think they'll help
this time?
You know, if I survive these
and the side effects, then
insurance will pay
for the stem cell therapy.
Sounds like a bad YouTube prank,
except my life depends on it.
[sighs]
[Lenny] Kira's gone.
You know how she is.
Dan's trying anything and everything
to get the money together.
But again, you know how he is.
But he has made 10,000 euros
in the last three days,
and I have absolutely no idea how.
He won't tell me.
That's not enough!
- It can't go on like this!
- Hey, I need those!
You don't need that shit!
What you need is a fucking million euros
to give to that greedy doctor
for his stem cell therapy.
How much time do we have to get the money?
Fabi!
Yeah?
Suppose I was gonna try stem cell therapy,
when would you start, at the latest?
I'd say in about a month,
but I wouldn't wait any longer than that.
I'd say in about a month,
but I wouldn't wait any longer than that.
OK.
Right. Listen, I'll go back
to Rotterdam on Monday
and pretend that nothing happened.
And I'll just be their fucking Tim Cook.
And as for the money
I have an idea.
- Trust me, Lenny.
- [mobile phone chimes]
[relieved sigh]
THE POLICE KNOW YOUR NAME
[Benedikt] evidence is all
in a spreadsheet called client.xls.
The drug dealer is operating
somewhere in this region.
What's wrong? Have they found you?
[Lenny] Moritz Zimmermann!
Hey.
No.
[Lenny] OK. Let's go.
But first,
there's one thing I need to say.
[Lenny retching]
["You So Done" playing]
Softly, just break it to me softly ♪
Let's make some money!
[Lenny] Here you go! Just don't start
dealing drugs on the internet.
[Lenny] So, what's your plan?
Smuggling weapons? Trafficking organs?
Or the old "pretend you're
the Aldi Brothers' grandson" trick?
Tell me
What's a laugh to a self-destructive me? ♪
FOLDING SHOVEL
You so done, done, done
Shut up ♪
One way to make it stop ♪
Shut up ♪
- Mmm.
- Mmm!
[in Dutch] Ah, look.
Told you so.
Rooftop city shines at sunrise
I'll let you watch while I jump ♪
[Beeke] Hello.
What a joke, what a joke you made me ♪
What's a queen to a joker? Tell me ♪
What's a laugh
To a self-destructive me? ♪
What's a prayer to a death wish? ♪
You so
Joke, joke, j-j-joke you made me ♪
Qu-queen to a joker, tell me ♪
What's home to a claustrophobic? ♪
What's a sea to a dead fish? ♪
You so done, done, done
Shut up ♪
Shut up ♪
Shut up ♪