How We Roll (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

The First Tournament

And did you remember to pack your toiletry bag? You don't want to buy stuff at the hotel.
- It's expensive.
- Trust me, I know.
Hotel lobby store prices make the minibar look affordable.
Feels really weird going to my first pro tournament without you guys.
I wish you were coming.
I know, so do I.
But we talked about it.
It would just make you nervous.
I'm already nervous.
My armpits look like the fountain in front of the Bellagio.
There's another show starting in ten minutes if you want to get a good seat.
I'll go with you.
Uh, you have a math test today.
And it would suck to miss it, but it feels like Dad needs me.
That's so very heroic of you.
Go get ready for school.
Nice try, buddy.
I was buying it.
See you in a couple days.
Good luck, Dad.
Here's some snacks for the car ride.
- Thanks, honey.
- Ooh.
Maybe just a kiss? You weren't kidding about those soaking pits.
- Here.
- Hug me, I'm damp! I'm damp! Knock, knock! Oh, good, you're still here.
I brought you some snacks for the ride.
Uh, thanks, Mom, but Jen already made me snacks.
What's that for, the walk to the car? It's only a three-hour drive.
What if they break down or lose cell service? If all they have is this little bag, Archie and Tom would have to eat each other.
Just know, if that happens, I went down fighting, okay? I love you guys.
I got to go.
Okay, I'll walk out with you.
I got to get my overnight bag out of the car anyways.
Wait, overnight? What are you talking about? What is she talking about? Mom? What are you talking about? You don't think I'm gonna leave Jen alone while you're gone, do you? She's gonna need help with Sam.
Oh, that's such a nice offer, Helen, but I'm just gonna, you know, take Sam to the salon with me after school.
Uh, you did say you were gonna be overwhelm Uh, Mom? Jen's got this covered.
She doesn't I just I don't think Okay, I'm gonna get the hell out of here.
I'm gonna eat your snacks first.
Oh, good.
Is this a turkey? I can't believe we're here.
This is incredible.
That's Lefty Gomez.
- Mm-hmm.
- I love him Lefty! No! Would you get your damn hand down? You want to act like a groupie, then stand over there with the rest of 'em.
Right, right.
Play it cool, play it cool.
That's Strike Johnson.
He's the last guy to roll a 900 series.
Like, 36 people have ever done that.
Do you think I don't know that? But don't stare.
Just side-eye the guy, like you're checking out boobs in church.
All right, listen, remember.
We're not here to take selfies and make friends.
We're here to win.
Got it.
Boobs in church.
Tom, you're a pro now.
You're swimming with sharks.
These guys will do whatever they can to get in your head and destroy you.
That's Rick Rholla.
Rick Rholla, the Rock 'n' Roll Bowla I love him.
You got to move, you got to move.
What's up? Hey.
I'm Tom Smallwood.
I'm a bowler, too.
This is my coach Archie Betts.
Uh, we're huge fans.
I just got to say, your comeback at Cuyahoga Falls? - Maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life.
- Mm.
I know I'm supposed to say the birth of my son, but honestly I was covering my eyes for most of that.
It was pretty it was pretty gross.
But a miracle.
I'll see you on the lanes.
You hear that? "See you on the lanes"? Come on.
I haven't seen Jaws in a little while, but I don't remember the shark being that friendly.
All I remember is, nobody listened to the sheriff till it was too late.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey, just give me ten minutes, and I'll start dinner.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Sam and I stopped and got waffles after school.
W-waffles? Well, waffle cones.
We had ice cream.
You know, I wish you would run that by me.
I thought I just did.
Wait What happened here? Oh, I reorganized your fridge.
When you open it up, your eyes should just go directly to the items you use most.
Yours was all mixed up.
It's amazing we haven't starved to death.
I was thinking the same thing.
What are you doing to the cupboards? Oh, I fixed these, too.
It was almost as big a disaster as your refrigerator.
It goes cups, bowls, plates.
Not the other way around.
This ain't Europe.
Yeah, this also isn't, uh, your house.
I liked it the way it was.
Well, I'm just trying to help.
And I'm just trying to set some boundaries.
Whoa, no need to get all snippety.
Wasn't trying to lift my leg on your hydrant.
Okay look.
Okay, I had a stressful day at work.
Ruth was riding me the whole time.
Oh, Ruth.
She's all bark and no bite.
She always has been.
Well, she says I can't do anything right, and now I come home and you tell me I can't do anything right.
Well, say no more, Zsa Zsa Gabor.
- I'll put everything back.
- No.
Just leave it.
Good, it's better this way.
I'm gonna go check on Sam.
Make sure that history book got the Revolutionary War right.
Well, you were there.
I heard that! Hey, Tom? Tom, listen.
You got to remember these lanes are faster than what you're used to.
They are cruel and unforgiving, like yoga pants.
Look, I took a big swing one Christmas.
You don't have to wear 'em.
That's Rick.
Rick Rholla.
Hold on.
Uh, Rick? Hey, hey, man.
Uh, just want to say good luck today.
What was that? Nothing, I'm just I'm wishing you good luck.
You hear that? This clown is wishing Rick Rholla luck.
Yeah, I-I get it.
Hazing the new guy, it's You're not the new guy.
You're the weird friendly guy who's about to get his ass handed to him and then disappear back to wherever weird friendly guys come from.
Probably Nebraska.
Excuse me? "Excuse me"? Is that all you got for a comeback? Buddy, you're not gonna last ten frames here, but "good luck.
" Let's roll, guys.
I don't sound like that.
That-that was crazy.
I told you these guys don't mess around.
You see that dude with him? I heard he left a horse's head in somebody's bed.
I'm pretty sure that's The Godfather.
What, so two people can't do it? Okay, Tom's tournament is about to start.
- Fingers crossed he wins.
- Yeah.
Winning would be so great, but he just needs to finish in the top 30 to bring home some money.
Jen, a second? - Yeah? - After work I'm gonna need you to drive to the warehouse to pick up conditioner.
Someone's been giving out full squirts.
That's a 45-minute drive.
That I'm happy to do.
By the way, you're a walking advertisement for the salon.
Keep that in mind when you leave the house in the morning.
What's that supposed to mean? It means imagine a client walking in like that.
How would you fix it? Full squirts.
Feel like that could've gone better.
Well, it sure as hell couldn't have gone any worse.
You bowl like that tomorrow, and about the only thing we're gonna be bringing home the free bible out of the top drawer.
What am I supposed to do, Arch? Rick Rholla was riding my ass all day.
Hey, Smallwood, do you inhale or exhale on your approach? Never mind.
Don't think about that now.
I don't know.
Well, you need to toughen up.
You want to compete with these guys, you better learn to tap into your killer instinct.
I don't know if I have a killer instinct.
One time, Jen stepped on a spider.
Me and Sam had a funeral for it.
I know, Tom.
I've been to a few of your bug burials.
Hell, you're a nice guy.
- Thanks, man - That wasn't a compliment! Nice don't work if you want to win.
Maybe we'll get lucky.
I won't be bowling anywhere near him tomorrow.
Well, just in case, we need to be prepared.
What do you mean? What what are you doing? Something I know you wouldn't do getting ammo.
We need to find this guy's weaknesses and go after 'em.
Ah, he dropped out of college.
Filed for bankruptcy.
Can't own a dog.
I'm not sure what that's about.
I hope that's an allergy thing.
Boom! We got him.
Apparently he's going through a nasty divorce.
- Oh, I don't know, Archie.
- Hey! The only thing worse than a horse's head in your bed is that empty space where your wife used to sleep.
Looks like we're lane neighbors again, Smallwood.
Looks like we are.
And unlike my real neighbor, I will not say good morning.
Or take in your garbage cans.
I'm coming for you today, Rick! Not if I come for you first.
Well, joke's on you.
'Cause guess who gets up pretty early in the morning what am I doing? You know what you got to do.
Right, absolutely.
Not bad.
That was a real sneeze.
The air filtration in here is terrible.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? Oh, well, I had a little time to kill before I picked up Sam at his tap lesson.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I had a foot-long earlier.
I could only stomach six inches.
I figured you'd like the rest.
- Thanks.
- Mm.
Whew, that's a lot of onions.
Yeah, anything they don't charge you for, I get extra.
This other bag is full of napkins and forks.
Nice catching up.
I'm going to lunch.
You got that conditioner I asked for, right? You bet I did.
And don't forget to clock out when you eat that sandwich.
I don't want you chewing on my time.
Dang it.
Aw, don't worry, it's not gonna take you long.
I've seen you eat.
I left the conditioner at home.
Ruth is gonna blow a gasket.
Hey, relax.
It's not that big a deal.
Everything is a big deal with her.
She called me last night at midnight to ask why there was a Canadian quarter in the register.
Hey, you need to buck up.
This job is a cakewalk.
I had to install bumpers on F-150s for 30 years with a bad back and a small bladder.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
I'm sitting with a great job and a regular-size bladder.
What do I have to complain about? That's right, if you want the truth, I'm your gal.
If you want smoke up your butt, sit on a campfire.
What the hell is the matter with you? Rick is over there eating you up, and you're just laying here, passing him the salt.
What am I supposed to do, Arch? Fight back.
Get in his head.
Say something about his mama.
I mean, at the very least, you could sneeze again, man.
I can't.
I took a Zyrtec.
I don't want to play dirty, okay? I thought you wanted this.
- I do want this.
- Then what's the issue? I don't want to be that guy.
When I was ten, I was already six-foot-two and my head was the size it is now.
I looked like a Blow Pop.
I was an easy target.
Kids would make fun of me.
And, sure, every once in a while, I'd fight back.
It felt good in the moment, but I always felt like crap afterwards.
I get it.
I know, this is my job now.
I got to be competitive.
But no job is worth me You're up, Smallwood.
Just get this over with, so you can go back to your family empty-handed and everyone can forget you ever existed.
Like I just did.
Hey, what is your problem? Oh! You a tough guy now? No, I'm genuinely asking, what is your problem? Why are you so angry? Is this about your divorce? What the hell did you just say? Your wife left you.
I'd probably be lashing out, too.
Wait, what's happening here? If you're going through something right now, having a hard time, just know I'm here if you want to talk.
Okay? All right.
I got to bowl, champ.
Is he for real? I'm afraid so.
He's sweet on the outside, soft in the middle.
He is a Blow Pop.
A six-foot-five, spider-loving Blow Pop.
Okay, I'll be back to check in on you in 20 minutes.
Oh! There is a whole spread in there of a shirtless Idris Elba.
If that doesn't do it for you, there's also an article on five ways to make a squash less boring.
Knock yourself out with the squash.
I'm back.
I hope it's not more onion sandwiches.
I'm still sweating out the last one.
You're married.
What do you need to smell good for? I brought you the conditioner that you forgot at home.
That was very thoughtful.
Thank you.
Oh, it's not a big deal.
I wanted to swing by the burger place.
They're having a special.
Buy one soda and get 77 straws for free.
You're on the clock.
A little less chitchat, a little more chop-chop.
Right, I'm sorry, Ruth.
You don't need to apologize.
We've been talking for two seconds.
Hey, why don't you relax Mussolini? What? Oh, nothing.
She calls everyone that.
It's like "buddy" or "pal.
" Look, Jen.
My rules are very simple, but for some reason they're too hard for you to understand.
Don't take that tone with her.
- Excuse me? - You heard me.
Helen, it's okay, I - This is - Stay out of this.
Yeah, Jen can be annoying.
Sometimes she does things the wrong way.
The mess in her car trunk is insane.
But you can't talk to her like that.
- And you can? - Yeah, I can.
Because I'm her family.
Jen is a good woman.
She works her butt off, she's loyal as the day is long.
- You are so lucky to have her.
- Oh! - I'm lucky to have her? - Yeah.
Look, ladies, let's just I have an employee who begs me for extra shifts, then complains when I ask her to close every night, and thinks I should give her a raise just for doing her job.
I'm so lucky.
Thank you, Jen, for giving me that privilege.
Okay, you don't have to put up with this crap.
- She quits.
- What are you doing?! Yeah, she quits.
- Oh, she quits, does she? - No, no, no, no, no, she - She quits.
- No, no, she does not.
She does not quit.
She needs this job very badly, and she knows that you're a very kind and forgiving Christian woman.
I have known some people with sticks up their cabooses, but that lady is straddling a sequoia.
- Helen - I know! I shouldn't have got you fired.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have opened my big mouth.
I just couldn't stand the way she was talking to you.
You deserve so much You're screwed, aren't you? Totally.
I got you.
It's hard to notice someone falling out of love with you.
Because it doesn't happen all at once.
I don't know what hurts more the fact that she's gone or the fact that I didn't see it coming.
Believe me, man, I-I get it.
Yeah? Your wife leave you, too? Oh, no.
She's my biggest supporter.
We're madly in love, but I should've said "I hear you" rather than "I get it.
" But, Rick, you're gonna be okay.
There's not a lot of guys like you on the tour, Smallwood.
I'll take that as a compliment.
And next time, it's gonna be me bringing home the big trophy.
At least one that doesn't look like a Monopoly piece.
I'll see you around, Tom.
All right, you ready to hit the road, or you want to stick around, listen to Lefty Gomez talk about his chocoholism? He's eating his feelings.
Anybody can see that.
Well, you finished in the money in your first tournament.
That's something a lot of pros on the tour never did.
I guess I was wrong.
Nice guys don't always finish last.
You know, when I was a kid, there was this guy, always used to tell me, "Rise above the noise.
Don't listen to the boys.
" Smart guy.
His name was Archie.
Talking about you.
I know! I also said if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.
You don't have to remember everything I say.
Come on.
- Hey, Coach, I want you to have this.
- Hmm? I wouldn't have won it if it weren't for you.
Nah, you keep it.
I'll wait for the one that doesn't look like you snapped it off the hood of a car.
Well? How'd it go? Obviously I didn't want to tell you over the phone.
I just thought it was important to tell you face-to-face, I only, uh came in 26th! 26th?! What? That's in the money! I know! Oh, my God! There are only 25 wives happier than you right now.
24 if we don't count Rick Rholla's.
Who? Who cares? - Check it out.
- What? What? They gave me money to bowl.
What? Give me that! Oh, my gosh, this is gonna come in handy.
Really handy.
- What do you mean? - Oh, don't you worry about it.
- Now, okay, why don't we go upstairs - Oh.
and celebrate your big win.
The wins keep coming.
Hmm, come on.
- Ah, you know? - Huh? For the first time, this feels like maybe it's gonna work out.
Knock, knock.
Welcome home, Tommy.
I'm sorry I got your wife canned.

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