I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s01e07 Episode Script
Anybody Here Seen Jeannie?
Once upon a time in a mythical place called Cape Kennedy an astronaut named Tony Nelson went up on a space mission.
The missile went up but something went wrong, and they had to bring it down.
Captain Nelson landed on an island in the South Pacific where he found a bottle.
At least, it looked like a bottle.
But it didn't act like a bottle.
Because in it was a genie.
Oh, not your average everyday genie but a beautiful genie who could grant any wish.
Captain Nelson was so grateful, he set Jeannie free.
Only she didn't want to be free.
You know how it is when you've been cooped up in a bottle for 2000 years.
She wanted to have fun and she wanted to have it with Captain Nelson.
So she followed him back to Cocoa Beach a mythical town in a mythical state called Florida.
And there, in this house the girl in the bottle plays Spin the Astronaut.
A meeting is expected to be called at Geneva next month.
Turning to the domestic front.
At Cape Kennedy, America's three-man astronaut team is preparing to tak e an historic walk into outer space.
The team consists of Captain Tony Nelson, Captain Roger Healey and Lieutenant George Conway.
It's probable that Captain Nelson, as head of the team will be the first American to step into outer space.
I'll have local news-- -Hello, Nelson here.
-Captain Nelson, Dr.
Bellows here.
Hello, Dr.
Bellows.
l've just been going over some of your reports.
How are you feeling? Fine, sir.
lsn't that what the reports say? Oh, the reports look fine.
But in my opinion, you've been a bit jumpy lately.
Me, sir? Not at all.
l sleep soundly, appetite's good.
l could eat a horse.
Hey, what are you doing--? Shoo! Shoo! Did you say ''shoo''? l'm sorry, l wasn't-- l wasn't speaking to you, sir.
Jeannie.
Jeannie, would you--? Would you get this horse out of here? Captain.
Captain.
Captain, do you have a horse in your living room? Of course not.
Why would l have a horse in my living room? l don't know, but we'll find out this afternoon.
l want you to report here at 2:00 for some tests.
Yeah, but-- -Would you get this out of here? -But you said you could eat a horse.
That's merely an expression.
Now, come on, take him away.
Thanks.
-Anything you desire.
-Just don't get carried away.
You have not seen anything yet, master.
These are the best plover eggs l've ever tasted.
And of course, they're the only plover eggs l've ever tasted.
Have some more sausage, master.
Well, l don't know, Jeannie.
l don't think l better.
-Steak? -Well.
Veal? Kidney? Pork chops? Jeannie, this is more than l've ever had for breakfast.
Wait until you see the lunch l have planned for you, master.
That's Roge and George.
Do you mind? Thanks.
Hi, Roge, George.
Let me have your hat.
l've got my charts upstairs.
We better go and take another look at them.
Good.
Look, you guys start without me.
l'm going to grab a cup of coffee.
When you step out of that spaceship, remember, easy does it.
You push yourself away too hard, and you'll never stop spinning.
Our two tricky moments come when we open the hatch to let you out and then when we close it again on your re-entry.
l'll start the decompression when the air lock is pressurized to air space.
l open the door, and out you go.
Watch out for that first step, Tony.
lt's really a honey.
Listen, Roger, l think it's important that you take a look at this too.
There's only one thing that worries me.
When l step out into space, Roge will pilot the ship.
Hey, you know, it might be a good idea if we checked that tether again.
Well, l can't do it right now.
l have something else to do.
More important than checking your space umbilical cord? -Well, l'll get to it.
l'll get to it.
-Well, anything you say.
Guess we better be running along.
-You are not going.
-Listen here, young lady you've got to stop playing around like that.
l'm not going where? Walking around in space.
Not without me.
-lt is perfectly safe.
-Except that your tether might break and you might go spinning off into nothing.
What is a tether? A tether, it's-- Well, it's like a rope.
lt keeps me attached to the space capsule.
Jeannie, l became an astronaut because that's what l want to do.
-Believe me, l know what l'm doing.
-Well, l will not have thee in danger.
Well, young lady, l'm afraid you don't have much say about that.
-l have to get going.
-Where are you going? l'm going to take a few routine tests.
And if you do not pass these tests? Well, somebody will be taking my place in that capsule.
But don't worry, l'll pass them.
Thou art a stubborn and foolish man.
Jeannie, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
l-- Jeannie, thanks a lot.
You be a good girl and l'll come home early, we'll have a nice game of chess, huh? -Hello.
-Captain Nelson.
Sir, there's really no need for me to take anymore of these tests.
lf l hadn't passed all the tests l've taken l wouldn't be taking this flight on Monday, would l? Captain, l'm going to be very honest with you.
You baffle me.
l admit that, so far, you've checked out 1 00 percent but there's something.
Some little something that l'm not quite satisfied with.
You don't know what that would be, do you, captain? -No, of course not.
-Never mind.
l'll find it.
Exactly what are you looking for, sir? Well, l really don't know, a horse in your living room? Something that you can see that l can't.
Voices that only you can hear.
Doesn't add up to the picture of an ideal astronaut, does it? You said l checked out Well, we're going to check you out again.
We just may find a physical clue to the problem.
-That is, if there is a problem.
-Yes, if there is a problem.
-You can change behind that screen.
-Yes, sir.
Now we're going to start you off at three and a half miles an hour.
l could do this all day.
When do we reach the summit? Will you step down, please? Something seems to be wrong with my instrument panel.
l'll-- l'll check your heart with my stethoscope.
ls everything all right? -ls anything the matter? -Nothing.
-You have a funny look on your face.
-Have l? -How do you feel? -Fine, fine.
Excuse me.
Let's try the pulmonary function tester.
Now, let me just check this out.
Fine.
You try it please.
There's a fresh mouthpiece.
Now, just breathe normally.
-Well, how did l do, sir? -Let me check your heart again.
First, l'll make sure this is working properly.
What's next? Follow me, please.
Excuse me.
-This is a space arm mobility tester.
-l've never seen one of these gadgets.
lt's a test of coordination under pressure.
Just slip your arm through the glove.
l want to see how many of the small dials you can turn.
-What's the matter? -l don't know, sir.
lt tickles, that's all.
-Captain.
-Yes, sir.
Just please turn the dials.
Yes, yes.
l'm sorry.
l'm very sorry.
lt's very ticklish.
Well, take your arm out of the glove.
-All right.
-Come over here please.
Jeannie? -What did you say? -Nothing, sir.
l had a feeling we weren't alone.
You can be quite sure we are alone, captain.
Can l? Oh, of course.
Of course.
-Would you get into these, please? -Yes, sir.
-Get on the ergometer, please? -Yes, sir.
l want you to start slowly, and then gradually increase the speed.
The pedals are weighted.
You won't be able to go very fast.
Ready? Go.
-l haven't done this since l was a kid.
-Save your breath, Captain Nelson.
Jeannie! Jeannie, stop! -Captain Nelson, you're going too fast! -You're telling me! -Stop it! -l can't! That's incredible.
Do you realize what a strain that is on the heart? -Yes, sir, l do.
-Stand up, please.
That'll be all, captain.
Will you get dressed, please? Am l through? l would say so.
l mean, am l all right? The results are beyond my wildest expectations.
Sir, you're going to let me go up in that capsule on Monday, aren't you? Captain, you don't need a capsule.
All right, where are you? Jeannie? l know you're here someplace.
All right, now, come on out.
Very funny.
All right, young lady, come on out.
l enjoyed playing those children's games.
Did you? Well, you know what you've done to me? -You might have washed me out.
-That means you will not be allowed to go walking around in space.
l'll be lucky if l'm allowed to walk around in public.
-How could you have done this to me? -l did it for you.
l must protect you from danger.
You've protected me right out of my life's work.
All right, if you like this coat so much keep it.
Captain Nelson, this is Dr.
Bellows.
l have to see you immediately.
l want you to be in my office in five minutes, if not sooner.
That's an order.
Come in.
Here's your dinner, Dr.
Bellows.
Thanks, Walter.
l can use it.
l feel a little woozy.
Well, this will fix you up, doctor.
Fine.
Enjoy it.
Thanks, Walter.
Walter! -You called me, Dr.
Bellows? -There's something wrong with the sandwich.
Every time l take a bite, it's whole again.
Look.
Would you like a doctor, doctor? Of course not.
l've just been overworking.
Maybe you better go home now, sir.
Yes.
That might be a good idea, Walter.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
-Good night, Walter.
-Good night, sir.
l'm too young to go.
l'm dead.
-Here l am, sir.
-What are you doing here? You phoned me and told me to rush right over.
l did not.
Or did l? l really don't know.
-You don't know if you phoned me? -Well, of course l did.
l'm a sick man.
l think my heart just stopped.
-Your heart just stopped? -l'll rush right over to the base hospital and turn myself in for observation.
-What about my fitness report, sir? -Captain, in my condition who am l to presume to judge anyone? All right, Jeannie.
l think you're back in the space program.
l think so too.
And thanks.
But no more tricks.
-Oh, no, master.
-All right, let's go home.
-You're taking me back? -Temporarily.
-But no more shenanigans either.
-Oh, no.
l promise.
All right.
My car is-- My car is out front.
Say, would you mind? You know, you know.
Thanks.
Stop.
Come on, come on.
Cut it out, will you! Come on! Now, come on, stop that! What are people gonna say? -You have a perfect trajectory, Tony.
-Glad to hear it.
-We're on auxiliary temp.
-Everything is green here.
Tony, are you ready to hit the deck? As ready as l'll ever be.
Decompression switch on.
l'm opening the hatch.
Hatch is open.
l'm stepping out.
l'm heading for the wild blue yonder.
Check your tether line.
Tether clear.
Easy does it, Tony.
Tony's out of the ship.
All systems normal.
l've left the ship.
l'm floating.
Any reaction? Are you kidding? It feels great.
Good evening, master.
Did thou see the beautiful star over there? Star light, star bright First star I see tonight Wish I may, wish I might Wish this wish comes true tonight Very funny.
The missile went up but something went wrong, and they had to bring it down.
Captain Nelson landed on an island in the South Pacific where he found a bottle.
At least, it looked like a bottle.
But it didn't act like a bottle.
Because in it was a genie.
Oh, not your average everyday genie but a beautiful genie who could grant any wish.
Captain Nelson was so grateful, he set Jeannie free.
Only she didn't want to be free.
You know how it is when you've been cooped up in a bottle for 2000 years.
She wanted to have fun and she wanted to have it with Captain Nelson.
So she followed him back to Cocoa Beach a mythical town in a mythical state called Florida.
And there, in this house the girl in the bottle plays Spin the Astronaut.
A meeting is expected to be called at Geneva next month.
Turning to the domestic front.
At Cape Kennedy, America's three-man astronaut team is preparing to tak e an historic walk into outer space.
The team consists of Captain Tony Nelson, Captain Roger Healey and Lieutenant George Conway.
It's probable that Captain Nelson, as head of the team will be the first American to step into outer space.
I'll have local news-- -Hello, Nelson here.
-Captain Nelson, Dr.
Bellows here.
Hello, Dr.
Bellows.
l've just been going over some of your reports.
How are you feeling? Fine, sir.
lsn't that what the reports say? Oh, the reports look fine.
But in my opinion, you've been a bit jumpy lately.
Me, sir? Not at all.
l sleep soundly, appetite's good.
l could eat a horse.
Hey, what are you doing--? Shoo! Shoo! Did you say ''shoo''? l'm sorry, l wasn't-- l wasn't speaking to you, sir.
Jeannie.
Jeannie, would you--? Would you get this horse out of here? Captain.
Captain.
Captain, do you have a horse in your living room? Of course not.
Why would l have a horse in my living room? l don't know, but we'll find out this afternoon.
l want you to report here at 2:00 for some tests.
Yeah, but-- -Would you get this out of here? -But you said you could eat a horse.
That's merely an expression.
Now, come on, take him away.
Thanks.
-Anything you desire.
-Just don't get carried away.
You have not seen anything yet, master.
These are the best plover eggs l've ever tasted.
And of course, they're the only plover eggs l've ever tasted.
Have some more sausage, master.
Well, l don't know, Jeannie.
l don't think l better.
-Steak? -Well.
Veal? Kidney? Pork chops? Jeannie, this is more than l've ever had for breakfast.
Wait until you see the lunch l have planned for you, master.
That's Roge and George.
Do you mind? Thanks.
Hi, Roge, George.
Let me have your hat.
l've got my charts upstairs.
We better go and take another look at them.
Good.
Look, you guys start without me.
l'm going to grab a cup of coffee.
When you step out of that spaceship, remember, easy does it.
You push yourself away too hard, and you'll never stop spinning.
Our two tricky moments come when we open the hatch to let you out and then when we close it again on your re-entry.
l'll start the decompression when the air lock is pressurized to air space.
l open the door, and out you go.
Watch out for that first step, Tony.
lt's really a honey.
Listen, Roger, l think it's important that you take a look at this too.
There's only one thing that worries me.
When l step out into space, Roge will pilot the ship.
Hey, you know, it might be a good idea if we checked that tether again.
Well, l can't do it right now.
l have something else to do.
More important than checking your space umbilical cord? -Well, l'll get to it.
l'll get to it.
-Well, anything you say.
Guess we better be running along.
-You are not going.
-Listen here, young lady you've got to stop playing around like that.
l'm not going where? Walking around in space.
Not without me.
-lt is perfectly safe.
-Except that your tether might break and you might go spinning off into nothing.
What is a tether? A tether, it's-- Well, it's like a rope.
lt keeps me attached to the space capsule.
Jeannie, l became an astronaut because that's what l want to do.
-Believe me, l know what l'm doing.
-Well, l will not have thee in danger.
Well, young lady, l'm afraid you don't have much say about that.
-l have to get going.
-Where are you going? l'm going to take a few routine tests.
And if you do not pass these tests? Well, somebody will be taking my place in that capsule.
But don't worry, l'll pass them.
Thou art a stubborn and foolish man.
Jeannie, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
l-- Jeannie, thanks a lot.
You be a good girl and l'll come home early, we'll have a nice game of chess, huh? -Hello.
-Captain Nelson.
Sir, there's really no need for me to take anymore of these tests.
lf l hadn't passed all the tests l've taken l wouldn't be taking this flight on Monday, would l? Captain, l'm going to be very honest with you.
You baffle me.
l admit that, so far, you've checked out 1 00 percent but there's something.
Some little something that l'm not quite satisfied with.
You don't know what that would be, do you, captain? -No, of course not.
-Never mind.
l'll find it.
Exactly what are you looking for, sir? Well, l really don't know, a horse in your living room? Something that you can see that l can't.
Voices that only you can hear.
Doesn't add up to the picture of an ideal astronaut, does it? You said l checked out Well, we're going to check you out again.
We just may find a physical clue to the problem.
-That is, if there is a problem.
-Yes, if there is a problem.
-You can change behind that screen.
-Yes, sir.
Now we're going to start you off at three and a half miles an hour.
l could do this all day.
When do we reach the summit? Will you step down, please? Something seems to be wrong with my instrument panel.
l'll-- l'll check your heart with my stethoscope.
ls everything all right? -ls anything the matter? -Nothing.
-You have a funny look on your face.
-Have l? -How do you feel? -Fine, fine.
Excuse me.
Let's try the pulmonary function tester.
Now, let me just check this out.
Fine.
You try it please.
There's a fresh mouthpiece.
Now, just breathe normally.
-Well, how did l do, sir? -Let me check your heart again.
First, l'll make sure this is working properly.
What's next? Follow me, please.
Excuse me.
-This is a space arm mobility tester.
-l've never seen one of these gadgets.
lt's a test of coordination under pressure.
Just slip your arm through the glove.
l want to see how many of the small dials you can turn.
-What's the matter? -l don't know, sir.
lt tickles, that's all.
-Captain.
-Yes, sir.
Just please turn the dials.
Yes, yes.
l'm sorry.
l'm very sorry.
lt's very ticklish.
Well, take your arm out of the glove.
-All right.
-Come over here please.
Jeannie? -What did you say? -Nothing, sir.
l had a feeling we weren't alone.
You can be quite sure we are alone, captain.
Can l? Oh, of course.
Of course.
-Would you get into these, please? -Yes, sir.
-Get on the ergometer, please? -Yes, sir.
l want you to start slowly, and then gradually increase the speed.
The pedals are weighted.
You won't be able to go very fast.
Ready? Go.
-l haven't done this since l was a kid.
-Save your breath, Captain Nelson.
Jeannie! Jeannie, stop! -Captain Nelson, you're going too fast! -You're telling me! -Stop it! -l can't! That's incredible.
Do you realize what a strain that is on the heart? -Yes, sir, l do.
-Stand up, please.
That'll be all, captain.
Will you get dressed, please? Am l through? l would say so.
l mean, am l all right? The results are beyond my wildest expectations.
Sir, you're going to let me go up in that capsule on Monday, aren't you? Captain, you don't need a capsule.
All right, where are you? Jeannie? l know you're here someplace.
All right, now, come on out.
Very funny.
All right, young lady, come on out.
l enjoyed playing those children's games.
Did you? Well, you know what you've done to me? -You might have washed me out.
-That means you will not be allowed to go walking around in space.
l'll be lucky if l'm allowed to walk around in public.
-How could you have done this to me? -l did it for you.
l must protect you from danger.
You've protected me right out of my life's work.
All right, if you like this coat so much keep it.
Captain Nelson, this is Dr.
Bellows.
l have to see you immediately.
l want you to be in my office in five minutes, if not sooner.
That's an order.
Come in.
Here's your dinner, Dr.
Bellows.
Thanks, Walter.
l can use it.
l feel a little woozy.
Well, this will fix you up, doctor.
Fine.
Enjoy it.
Thanks, Walter.
Walter! -You called me, Dr.
Bellows? -There's something wrong with the sandwich.
Every time l take a bite, it's whole again.
Look.
Would you like a doctor, doctor? Of course not.
l've just been overworking.
Maybe you better go home now, sir.
Yes.
That might be a good idea, Walter.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
-Good night, Walter.
-Good night, sir.
l'm too young to go.
l'm dead.
-Here l am, sir.
-What are you doing here? You phoned me and told me to rush right over.
l did not.
Or did l? l really don't know.
-You don't know if you phoned me? -Well, of course l did.
l'm a sick man.
l think my heart just stopped.
-Your heart just stopped? -l'll rush right over to the base hospital and turn myself in for observation.
-What about my fitness report, sir? -Captain, in my condition who am l to presume to judge anyone? All right, Jeannie.
l think you're back in the space program.
l think so too.
And thanks.
But no more tricks.
-Oh, no, master.
-All right, let's go home.
-You're taking me back? -Temporarily.
-But no more shenanigans either.
-Oh, no.
l promise.
All right.
My car is-- My car is out front.
Say, would you mind? You know, you know.
Thanks.
Stop.
Come on, come on.
Cut it out, will you! Come on! Now, come on, stop that! What are people gonna say? -You have a perfect trajectory, Tony.
-Glad to hear it.
-We're on auxiliary temp.
-Everything is green here.
Tony, are you ready to hit the deck? As ready as l'll ever be.
Decompression switch on.
l'm opening the hatch.
Hatch is open.
l'm stepping out.
l'm heading for the wild blue yonder.
Check your tether line.
Tether clear.
Easy does it, Tony.
Tony's out of the ship.
All systems normal.
l've left the ship.
l'm floating.
Any reaction? Are you kidding? It feels great.
Good evening, master.
Did thou see the beautiful star over there? Star light, star bright First star I see tonight Wish I may, wish I might Wish this wish comes true tonight Very funny.