I Hate My Teenage Daughter s01e10 Episode Script

Teenage Cheerleading.

1 Hey.
What? What's going on? Oh my god.
Who's pregnant? Nobody.
This is way better.
The girls want to do something.
But hear them out before you say no.
That’s not fair.
I never say no.
Sophie and I want to join the cheerleading squad.
But Annie they've been practicing so hard.
Come on girls do the routine.
Show her.
Five , six , seven, eight! Go Wildcats! So what you'd think? Could Sophie try with us? Mum? This is great, honey.
Great.
- And you know that I support you 100% - That's a no.
- That is correct.
Let's go to your house.
I told you she wouldn't let me.
That's because she grew up in a cult.
It was not a cult.
It was a sect.
There is a huge difference.
We don't have to sleep with the leaders.
Cheerleading Nikkie? Those girls tortured me in high school.
They used to flick their lit cigarettes at me when I went to the bus.
Thank god, I worn a bonnet everyday or my head would have caught fire.
Ok, cheerleaders were mean to me too.
But I'm a better person for it.
I was fat.
I was too tall.
I did have teeth like a baby shark.
They gave me the self-loathing I needed, to change.
Yeah, you're not making as good of a case as you think you are.
Come on Annie.
I really want us to do this together.
Plus it's a great way for us to be involved with the girls.
We get to go the games, we get to go the competition.
We get to be cheer mums.
Are you kidding me? The mums are worst than the daughters.
They're snobby, they exclude people.
And who smells that nice all the time? It's like they shower everyday! Oh, that is pretty judgy.
Maybe you should talk to these women before you start flicking your word cigarettes at them.
Oh? So have you talked to them? Have you talk to Sandra Bullock? No, but you just know she is a good person.
Come on, Annie I haven't even told you the best part.
In January, they'd go to a cheer leading conference in a little town called Las Vegas.
- Las Vegas? Neon Babylon.
And we'd be staying at the best hotel there.
Don't tease me.
Are you talking New-York, New-York.
Oh my god and yes, yes the girls can try out.
We're going to New-York kinda! Oh, oh.
I know that look.
- Lost again, huh? - Yeah.
Yeah.
I think we should have to be honest with ourselves.
Those other teams are just luckier.
Like today that team was thirty-four points luckier than us.
Keep your head up, bro.
Ok, Jack sucks.
He's killing us.
Hey, you guys have been lousy for three years.
How is it Jack’s fault? Jack joined the team 3 years ago.
Can't shoot, can't pass, can't run without falling down.
I think falling down is how he stops.
The only way we’re going to win any games is if we kick Jack off the team.
Oh, that's brutal.
You can't do that to your own brother.
I know.
- That's why Gary is going to do it.
- Meee? I'm not kicking Jack off the team.
I can't do it.
He's still hurt because I kick him out of my band Twenty years ago.
The dude broke his ankle playing drums.
Excuse me.
But the last time I'd check, neither one of you is a professional athlete.
I am.
I'm a golf pro.
Golf is a sport.
and pro is short for professional.
I am literally a professional athlete.
Damn.
I think I pulled something when I fall down during the game.
Hum.
Which time buddy? The result for the cheerleaders tryouts are in.
How they do? I'm to nervous to look here.
Oh my gosh.
Sophie made it.
Ah, ha, she made it.
I mean forget forget cheerleading, she.
set goal and she worked hard for it and now - She is a freaking cheerleader - I know.
I don't know how I feel about this.
Cheerleaders are kind of mental sacred area.
I'd like to keep my family out of.
What about McKenzie? Kelsey B, Kelsey J, Kelsey R, I knew I should have named her Kelsey.
She's not in the list.
She didn't make it.
You're ok, Nikkie? Of course I'm okay.
I'm just worried about the girls.
This is the type of things that can really tear up a friendship apart.
Ow, honey I think they'll be fine.
I mean they've been best friend since they were five.
Yeah, but his is a tough one to get over.
One of them makes it even though she thinks cheer leading is stupid, while the another one who wants it more than anything in the world, is left to go home, and sit in the dark with a bottle of tequila.
and wonder what the cheer mums are up to.
Mom, I made it.
I know.
I'm so excited.
But remember don't tell grandma.
She already thinks your pierced ears will keep you out of heaven.
Hey baby, look how strong she is being.
Mom.
It's ok, I'm fine.
No honey, you're not, you're in shock.
No really, I mean I'm actually kind of glad, I didn't make it, because I've found I'd have to keep a 2.
0 grade point average, I mean Who knew you had to be a brainiac to be a cheerleader, right? We probably going to look at beauty colleges.
You know what? You have a really good attitude McKenzie.
This things happens.
Sometimes People get cut, They go on to bigger and better things.
Actually you knows what, that reminds me of the time I made the band and you didn't.
This isn't how it happened.
I started the band.
My buddy said: Hey, you wanna let your kid brother play ? Two weeks later, I'm out on my ass.
-Gary, don't you have something you.
.
- Nope.
Okay.
Here’s where you get your uniform.
Just nice people laughing and having fun.
No reason to be intimidated.
I’m not, Mom.
I want to go in.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just gonna pull out my phone, look at it, and pretend like there’s something important on it.
You go right ahead.
Oh! Look it's pretty mum.
Come on in.
You're talking to me? I know it's rude.
We don't know your name, so we always just call you pretty mum.
What is your name? Pretty mum is good.
Well, I'm Laura and this is my friend, Ginger.
Welcome to cheer mums.
We have so much fun together.
Like tonight, it’s Thursday and we go out for margaritas.
So we call it margarita Thursday.
Oh my god.
I just got that.
You should join us tonight.
Oh, I get it.
So I'll go down there and nobody else shows up.
No.
We're all going.
Oh, ok.
So we're all there, and I go to ladies room, and you all stick me with the check.
No we all split it.
Ok.
I see.
So we all split the check and then we go to the parking lot, we get in our car and somebody runs me over.
Pretty mum who hurt you? - hello.
Oh my god! Nikkie, you scared me! What are you doing in here? I'm sorry did we say we were to meet at 8 o'clock? or 3 hours and 90 minutes later.
I'm so sorry.
I totally forgot about tonight.
I feel terrible.
So what happened? Car accident? Death in the family? Vicious dog mauling? Cause those are the only thing that would keep Sandra Bullock from meeting her friend.
Oh my g had to go to this.
.
There was a.
Might be important, I should get this.
Don't do that! I know what today is.
It's margaritas Thursday.
You don't forget a name that catchy.
Okay.
Ok, yes, I went out with the cheer mums tonight.
It turns out they’re not such bad people.
I mean, there was only one firecracker tequila left and they let me have it.
Oh then they're insane.
I can't believe, just yesterday you were saying that cheerleader and cheer mums are the worst people in the world, and you preach to me about it until I had to pull McKenzie out.
You didn't pull her out.
She didn't make the squad.
There it is.
I was wondering when you get to play that card.
Want do you want me to do, Nikkie? You wanna me to tell Sophie that she can't be a cheerleader? Oh my god! Are you actually considering that? Nooo.
Are you? I'm not going to tell her she can't be a cheerleader.
And you know what ? McKenzie is fine with it.
The only reason you're upset is because you can be a cheer mum.
That is not the only reason.
It’s also that I don’t get to be a cheer mom and you do! Do you understand how wrong that is? Yeah, but I can't help it.
Damn, We finally won a game.
Guess why.
You scored more point than the other team? You know, snide little comments like that are why I cheated on you.
I'm sorry.
I didn't even hear what you said I was thinking about the house you had to give me.
Jack couldn't make it There was a murder trial and he had to be in court.
It's the only court he didn't suck in.
Sorry I missed the game guys.
Rough going without the Jack Attack? Bro.
We won by 22 points.
22 points! We should figure out what we did differently and bottle it.
Um Look Jack You know sometimes people really enjoy doing something, but they not really good at it.
And then they realize that they should probably stop doing it and move on something else.
Oh no.
Yeah.
Gary.
You can't quit! Ok maybe you're not great and yeah, for a black guy you should play a lot better.
You're the weak link.
Meee? What do you say? You want me off the team? Jackille O'neal? Matt? Matt, what do you think? Dude, you play like a greased up baby giraffe.
Are you kidding me? I've put so much into I'd go to urgent care after every game.
I'm sorry bro.
But if we keep you on the team, we are never to get anywhere in the North Side Wide’s Over 30 Half Court Basketball League.
I can't believe it.
this is the band all over again.
Jack! You can't play drums if you can't hold on to the sticks.
I threw them.
it was my thing.
Look I'm sorry I wasn't a great drummer and I'm sorry I'm not the best basket ball player but I didn't join those thing so I could turn pro.
I just wanted to hang on with my little brother.
Hello Gary.
Hello Matt.
Can you order me a vanilla latte? I'm having trouble with help here.
-Annie can I.
-I've heard her.
She is so mad at me because Sophie made the team and Mac MacKenzie didn't.
Not so fast Barista.
Mackenzie made the cheer squad.
That's fantastic.
But I didn't even know that it was a slot that opened up.
Well it did, I mean MacKenzie won't technically be a cheerleader, cheerleader, how boring, But she will be doing something just as important.
What do you mean? She is going to be the wildcat.
The mascot? Oh hell no.
Wow, I can't I can't believe MacKenzie want to do this.
I mean, I just can see her dancing around in a hollowed out cat sauna.
Oh really that's funny because it was her idea.
She begged me.
Please baby, please.
It's not that bad.
No way.
I can smell it from here.
That the sweet smell of popularity.
Come on MacKenzie I'll buy you a new cell phone.
Dad already got me one.
I hate when he tries to buy your love.
I haven't time to go to the mall.
Would you take cash? Dad.
I can't believe you made it on time.
It's what I do.
You told me this started 2 hours ago.
It's what I do.
Whoah, I guess Mackenzie is really impressed in this.
How is it going with you and Nikkie? Not good.
She is still mad at me.
But it's fine.
I enjoy the silence.
-Do you? No.
I miss my friend.
Just make up with her.
She needs you.
You're her only tether to reality.
Just want to put this out there.
One joke about my daughter in a cat costume.
There's going to be problems.
How's it going between you two? He still mad at me.
Did you really have to kick him off the team? How bad he can be? That's the best pass he made on year.
Ok, you know, who cares? He is your brother.
He will do anything for you.
Remember when Sophie got sick when she was a baby? He paid for everything.
He stayed all night in the waiting room.
Yeah.
We really should have remember to wake him up before we took her home.
He got so upset when the nurse told him Sophie was gone.
Oh, pretty mum.
Hi, I saved you a seat.
Ah, Flora.
How embarrassing in front of the whole school, calling me pretty mum.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That seat seat is taken, thanks you.
Oh, ok.
-whose is saved for? -No one.
Then why she can"t seat there? Oh well.
See she is a band mum.
What's wrong with band mums?? Oh, there is nothing wrong with them.
per se, I mean obviously they're human being.
Let's just say she won't feel comfortable here.
It's too far from the snack bar.
Hey.
Listen, I'm sorry I hurt you.
I guess I haven't been the best brother.
-I have actually -I have been kind of lousy.
No, no.
You were right.
Sometimes we need to hear uncomfortable truths about ourselves.
So in that spirit, You should know you have B.
O.
Will you listen? I.
.
I want you to come back to the team.
I miss my brother.
-You want me back? -I do.
So here's the deal.
We have 6 games left.
We only need to win 4 to get to the play off, you let us win the 4, you come back, and you play in the ones that don’t matter.
How’s that sound? How extremely generous of you.
And as tempting a offer that is.
I gonna have to pass.
Whow.
Now who's the bad brother? Oh, look at that poor McKenzie out there.
Bless her.
It cannot be easy having a mum like Nikkie.
What's that mean? Oh look I'm sorry.
I know she is your friend but, she is a lot.
Right? You guess.
I mean she is she's a great person with a really big heart.
Oh I know she is great.
We love her, she is like a band mum.
She is so funny.
Hi, I'm Nikkie.
Can I be in your group? Wait, think about it.
I'll be over here trying to hard.
I just adore her.
You are awful people.
Oh come on Annie.
We're just joking.
No you're not.
And you keep saying: I know she is your friend.
As this excuses all the terrible things you say about her.
But she is my friend.
And I'm not going to seat here listening to you talking about her like this.
Excuse me.
Sorry but this section is for band mums.
-Hey annie.
Hey.
-Don't Sophie look great? -She really does, doesn’t she? Oh Nikkie.
Nikkie.
I know it's you.
Why isn't MacKenzie doing this? Because she thought it would be awful.
That's not really that bad.
Oh honey.
I'm so sorry.
You were right.
I was being a hypocrite.
And my first insight about the cheer mums was right too.
They are nasty, horrible people.
Oh no.
Were they mean to you? What's they said? They mock.
me.
In a really unflattering way.
Oh my god.
I will kick their asses.
Do you want me to shoot them in the face with my T-shirt canon? No.
No, no it's ok.
I look like an idiot.
don't I? Sorry, I don't know what happens.
Seeing MacKenzie get rejected like that brought back a lot of memories.
I guess they just pushed my buttons.
I have a lot of buttons, huh? You're mostly buttons.
Let me help you get out of here.
Not now, I can't.
Nikkie.
you've proved your point.
No, no.
I really can't.
I have a volley ball game at 9.
I can’t believe Jack didn’t want to come back to the team.
Hey, it's right.
Let’s go win this thing.
Hey guys.
You decided to come back.
That's great! But this game actually matters So we don't need you quite yet.
Oh no.
I don't need you.
I made my own team.
I got together some of my old clients who’ve seen some jail time.
We're call the smooth criminals.
This time.
I won't be the only one going to urgent care.

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