I Love Lucy (1951) s06e27 Episode Script

The Ricardos Dedicate a Statue

"Christmas Show" ANNOUNCER: And now, "I Love Lucy.
" How's it here, honey? Over to the left a little.
No, no, the other way.
No, I want it in the middle so the mantle won't look lopsided.
Santa Claus doesn't care if the mantle looks lopsided.
LUCY: Oh, well.
There you are, partner.
Thank you, Daddy.
You're welcome.
Now, when you get up in the morning, honey, Santa Claus is going to have that chock full of goodies.
Yes, sir.
Now, off to bed, son.
In a minute, Daddy.
What are you doing, dear? I'm waiting for Santy Claus.
You've got to go to bed now.
I'll go to bed after Santa Claus gets here.
But, honey, Santa Claus is not going to come and bring the tree and the presents and everything until you go to sleep.
He won't? No.
Why, Mommy? Yeah, why is that, Daddy? Why? Uh, why? Well, uh, you see, um partner, Santa Claus comes all the way down from the North Pole and he has all these reindeers with him.
And when he gets here, he circles around in the sky until he gets a signal.
Now, you know who gives him the signal? Who? Yeah, who? Who? I bet I know.
It's the Sandman.
The San the Sandman, that's right.
Yeah, the Sandman gives him the signal.
That's right.
When all the little children are in bed, the Sandman runs up to the roof and he says, "Santa Claus, all clear!" So you got to go to bed.
Why, honey, that's fascinating.
You see, young man? You got to go to bed right now.
Okay, Mommy.
Good boy.
What? There aren't any steps.
How does Santa Claus get down the chimney? Yeah, how does he do that, Daddy? Well, I took care of the "why" and the "who.
" You take care of the "how.
" Uh how, huh? Well, um now, you see, Santa Claus doesn't need any steps, honey.
He, he When he comes, he brings the North Pole with him and he slides down like a fireman.
Good, good, good.
All right, son, off to bed.
Yeah, come on, honey.
Good night.
Night, Daddy.
Good night.
(door shuts) (whispers): Fred, Ethel, come on.
Come on in.
Where do you want it? Right there, Fred.
Wait a minute.
I'll show you.
I'll show you.
I think right about in here.
Oh, it's a beauty, Fred.
How much do I owe you? It's from us.
Well, that's very generous of you.
Oh, it was nothing.
Nothing? The tree cost five bucks.
Well, it's Christmas Eve, all right.
The children are tucked in their beds waiting for Santa Claus, the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, and we have our very own Scrooge.
Look, honey! Oh, that is a beautiful tree.
Isn't it? It's a present from me and Ebenezer.
(laughs): Well, thank you very much.
Would you lay off, Ethel? Anyway, I thought Santy Claus was supposed to foot the bill for the tree.
Well, he does ordinarily, but this year, we're doing it for him.
You just try and think of yourself as one of Santa's little helpers.
Well, I'll try.
Come on.
Let's get the tree trimmed.
Honey? What? Is it right where you want it? Back by the window a little bit.
Oh, okay.
Come on.
You help me, Ethel.
Yes, ma'am.
Be very careful with these now.
These are the only bulbs that I have.
ETHEL: All right.
You take that box there.
Oh, I love doing this.
Isn't this wonderful? RICKY: Honey? Yes, dear? See how it looks from the front, eh? What do you think? Well, it looks pretty good, except there's a branch on the right side that spoils the shape.
Which one, honey? This one right up here.
Fred, would you go down to the basement and get your saw and cut that off for me? It's a little unbalanced.
Oh, now, honey, maybe we can hang something there.
He doesn't have to go all the way down to the basement and get a saw.
LUCY: Now, look, honey, the tree has to be balanced.
You know that.
We can't have one branch out like I've been putting up trees with that kid for the last 15 years.
(laughs): He came prepared.
That's right, Fred.
Gee, the four of us have spent a lot of Christmases together, haven't we? We sure have.
RICKY: Yes, sir, and it's been great.
It's even been better since little Ricky came along.
That's right, honey.
Oh, Fred, now that you've cut that branch off, it makes the other side look too full.
You better trim that branch on the other side, make it all even.
You know, honey, I've been thinking.
Our life has sure been different since you told me you were going to have the baby.
I almost never got to tell you.
What do you mean? Don't you remember? Oh, Fred, that skinny branch on the top just looks awful.
It's going to have to come off.
Don't you remember, Ricky? I tried to tell you all day, and I never got a chance because you were so busy? Oh, now the other side looks uneven.
That lower branch there.
Honey, finally, in desperation, I had to go down to the club while you were working and give a note to the maitre'd for you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
And now for the For you, Ricky.
Oh, thank you.
Excuse me.
Pardon me, please.
Oh, isn't this wonderful? Listen to this.
"Dear Mr.
Ricardo, "My husband and I are going to have a blessed event.
"I just found out about it today, "and I haven't told him yet.
"I heard you sing a number called "'We're Having a Baby, My Baby and Me.
' "If you will sing it for us now, it will be my way of breaking the news to him.
" Isn't that wonderful? Of course I'll do it for you.
Eh, mae? Oh, wait a minute.
I got a wonderful idea.
Why don't we bring the couple up here, and I'll sing it right to them, eh? Come on, let's bring them up on the floor.
Come on, folks.
(orchestra playing "Rock-A-Bye, Baby") Come on.
We just want to wish you luck.
Who is it? Rock-a-bye, baby On the treetop No? When the wind blows The cradle will rock No? When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Cradle and all Rock-a-bye, baby On the Hiya, honey.
On the treetop When the wind blows The cradle will fall When the bough breaks The cradle will fall An (orchestra continues playing) Honey, honey Honey, no.
(laughing): Yes.
Really? Yes.
Why didn't you tell me? Well, you didn't give me a chance.
Are you kidding? No.
I tri It's me! I'm going to be a father! How about that? (applause) I want you to meet my mother.
I mean, my wife, my wife.
PEOPLE (shouting): Do the baby song! What? Do the baby song! Do the baby song! We're having a baby My baby and me You'll read it in Winchell That we're adding a limb To our family tree While pushing that carriage How proud I will be There's nothing like marriage Ask your father and mother And they'll agree He'll have toys Baby clothes He'll know he's come to the right house By and by When he grows Maybe he'll live in the White House Really? And why not? Our future looks brighter But definitely We're having a baby I bet he's going to look just like you.
Oh, I hope not.
We're having a baby I'll bet she'll speak with an accent like you.
She? Yeah.
We're having a baby My baby And me.
It's silly.
It happened five years ago, and I'm crying all over again.
It's okay, honey.
So am I.
I'm crying, too.
Me, too, but for a different reason.
Fred, what have you done to that tree? Well, I got so carried away with the story, I forgot what I was doing.
Oh, Fred, for heaven's sake.
Well, you got to admit that it's even on both sides.
Well, how do you think we're going to trim that? Well, why can't we trim it with those branches I just cut off? Fred Mertz, you march right down to the corner and get another tree.
Okay, but who's going to pay for it? I will.
I will.
No, you won't.
He will, and one word out of you, and I'll tell Santa Claus that you were a bad little boy, and you won't get any presents.
You can't squeal on me.
I'm one of his helpers.
Oh, get out of here.
You might as well get the lights ready, dear.
RICKY: Okay, honey.
Gee, I just love this old ornament.
It's been on our tree ever since I can remember.
Cascabeles, cascabeles Llenos de alegria All the way Oh what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh (singing off-key): Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh I don't know what's happened to my voice lately.
I don't seem to sing well anymore.
Lately? Anymore? Now, that's not very nice.
I grant you, my voice isn't quite what it used to be.
It's exactly what it used to be.
That's, uh, what's wrong with it.
Why do you say that? I used to sing quite well, as I recall.
Well, dear girl, then something is wrong with your memory.
What do you mean? Well, a few months after you told me that the baby was going to be born, you wanted to sing at the club in a barbershop quartet.
Oh, I remember that.
Fred and I did that with you.
Boy, that was a terrible evening.
It was not.
It turned out very well.
It was one of the most embarrassing nights of my career.
Well! I'll never forget it.
The three of us started the number thinking George Watson was under the sheet in the barber chair.
Little did we know that the tuneless wonder was there instead.
(piano playing) In the evening, when I sit alone a- dreamin' Of days gone by, love To me so dear There's a picture that in fancy oft' appearing Brings back the time, love When you were near When you were near It is then I wonder where you are, me darling And if your heart to me is still the same For the sighing wind and nightingale a- singin' Are breathing only Your own sweet name ETHEL & FRED: Your own sweet name TRIO: Sweet Adeline (off-key): Sweet Ad My Adeline My Ade At night, dear heart A For you I pine For y In all my dreams In all Your fair face beams You're the flower Of my heart Sweet Adeline ALL: Sweet Adeline.
That's it.
Yeah, that looks beautiful.
Hey! Hey, Fred! Isn't this a dandy? Oh, boy! Look at that; that's a beauty, Fred! Fred, that's better than the first one.
And the best thing of it is, because it's getting so late, they guy let me have it for a half a buck.
It has just been proven to Fred, once and for all, there is a Santy Claus.
You bet! And he also gave me some mistletoe.
Now don't go getting any wild ideas, Ethel.
I'll try to restrain myself.
Oh, Fred, this tree is just perfect.
Absolutely perfect.
Yeah! Except for this one little branch right here.
Now if you could just No! Oh, no you don't.
Nothing doing.
Okay, leave it alone.
All right.
Hey, Fred, let me help me put the lights on, eh? Sure.
Let me help, too, huh? Okay, here.
Oh, boy.
Give me a strand.
Okay, Fred.
Want to help me? There you are.
Fine, thanks.
Ricky? Yeah, honey? Won't you give me just one little hint about what you're giving me for Christmas? You know, you're worse than your son.
You'll find out tomorrow morning.
I know, but I just want to think about it.
Come on, give me one little clue.
All right, I'll give you one clue.
Good, what is it? It's a gift.
Oh! (Ricky laughs) (clears throat) (Ricky laughs) Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
Merry Christmas, you great big wonderful, adorable, lovable husband you.
Do you love me? Mm-hmm.
How much? A lot, but not enough to tell you what your Christmas present is.
Oh! Now what makes you think that's what I wanted to know? And what is it? You'll find out tomorrow morning.
Oh, all right.
Freddy? Yeah? Go ahead.
Go ahead and what? You know what this means, don't you? Yeah, it means you're an incurable optimist.
Oh, Fred! (laughs): Honey, I'm only fooling.
Merry Christmas! Ah, Merry Christmas, you great big adorable husband! All right, Fred, plug in the lights and see if they work.
Hey! (laughs): Hey! Fred, congratulations.
This is the only time that the lights have worked on the first time in 15 years.
We usually have to spend an hour testing all the bulbs to see which one hasn't burned RICKY & FRED: Out.
Okay, let's start testing the bulbs.
You know, I'm kind of glad it happened.
It makes it seem more like Christmas.
(laughs) Girls, why don't you get the ornaments, huh? Oh, yeah, come on, this is the part I love.
What's little Ricky getting this year? Well, I don't know what Santa Claus is going to bring him, but we're getting him a new set of drums and a bike.
Hmm! Yeah, we're probably spoiling him, but he won't be little for long.
Gee, it's amazing how much he's grown.
Seems like only yesterday that he was born.
Will you ever forget that night? I had a new show at the club, and Lucy insisted that I make it, and I was going crazy trying to be in two places at once.
Well, it wasn't any picnic for me, either, waiting at that hospital while you were doing the show.
Well, what about me? I thought I'd lose my mind sitting at home, waiting for the news.
Of course, I was lucky.
All I had to do was have the baby.
You're right, honey.
You three were so nervous that night.
I remember, it was almost time for me to go to the hospital, and you all sat and watched me like I was going to explode any minute.
Is it really due any minute?! How do you feel?! Are you sure you're all right?! I think we ought to have a rehearsal.
A rehearsal? For what? A rehearsal for when you get the signal.
Everything should go like clockwork.
I don't want to lose a minute getting you to the hospital.
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
He's right, he's right.
Now, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, there's no problem, dear.
The room is reserved at the hospital.
The doctor's number's right here by the phone.
My suitcase is all packed.
All we have to do is go downstairs, get a cab and go.
I know, I know, but who's going to call the doctor? Who's going to carry the suitcase? Who's going to hail the cab? That's what we got to rehearse.
Rick, I'll do anything you suggest.
(all talking) (whistles) Hey, hold it, hold it, group.
Look, you split it up any way you want.
I'm going to go lie down.
All right, honey, I think that's a good idea.
You need your rest.
Here, I'll help you, dear.
That's nice.
Come on, honey.
Don't you worry about anything now.
No, I won't.
You leave everything to us, honey.
Take it easy.
Now, listen, Rick, I'll tell you how we ought to do this.
Now, wait a wait a now, wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm in charge of this thing.
After all, I'm the baby's father.
Take over, captain.
All right.
Now, let's see now.
First of all, one of us has to call the doctor.
Who's going to do that? I'll do that.
Soon as we get the signal, you rush to the phone.
All right.
Now, you carry the suitcase.
I'll look after Lucy.
I'll get her coat, see that she gets downstairs all right, and we'll hail a cab.
Now let's rehearse.
Let's go.
Now let's make believe that Lucy just came out of the bedroom, see? And she comes out of the bedroom and she says, "The time has come.
" Go! Hello, Dr.
We're leaving for the hospital with Mrs.
Ricardo now.
Hey, that was pretty good.
We did that in a few seconds.
Well, now, let's do it again so we'll have everything perfect.
Okay, now, the main thing is to be calm so we don't get Lucy excited.
That's right.
We got to keep calm.
Put that over there so we can start right where we were.
Get it over there and Get it all where it was at the beginning, now.
Go back over there now.
Are you ready? Yep.
Now, Lucy comes out of the room, and she says, "The time has come.
" Go! Hello, Dr.
We're leaving for the hospital with Mrs.
Ricardo now.
Hey, that was even better than before.
Sure it was! Yeah, that was wonderful.
Well organized.
Okay, now we know what to do.
Now, let's put this stuff right where it was so we know where everything is.
ETHEL: Now all we have to do is just wait.
That was fine, kids.
That was wonderful.
Just think tomorrow night at this time, I'm going to be a father.
Yes, sir, and I'm going to be a godfather.
And I'm going to be a godmother.
Ricky, this is it.
This is it.
This is it! This is it! Let's go! Come on! Let's get going! Somebody better call the doctor.
Call the doctor! No.
That's my job! That's my job! You get the suitcase! The suitcase! Suitcase! I got it, Fred! Give me the suitcase! We have to hurry, Ricky! We have to hurry, she says! Oh! The line is busy! Ricky! The line's busy! The line is busy? Why doesn't somebody go hail the cab, and then you call Dr.
Go! Go get a cab! Go get the cab! Go get a cab! Go get a cab! I'll get the cab! I'll get the cab! I'll get the cab! Hey! Wait for me! For heaven's sake.
Why didn't we get together on this? The four of us sure got the same idea at once.
We sure did.
LITTLE RICKY: Mommy, Daddy, is it time to get up? He can't find four of us here.
Come on, go in the kitchen.
(whispering): Yeah.
Oh, boy! (horn beeping) (playing drums) (quietly laughing) Listen, as long as we've gone to this much trouble, one of us ought to go in there and let Little Ricky see us.
That's right.
Boy, you've got to get up early if you want to be Santa Claus around here.
Just a minute.
Ouch! ALL: Merry Christmas, everybody.
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