Immoral Compass (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Part 1: Guilt
[Rick sighing]
Hi.
I'm just gonna
tell you some shit
that I wish people told me
about 30 years ago before
I ended up like this.
So
Guilt.
Come on.
[Rick spitting]
If you feel guilt,
don't feel bad.
That actually means
you're, like, a good person.
You know,
hating yourself is natural.
You hate yourself
because you said yes
when you meant no.
My whole fucking life is that.
Saying yes when I meant no,
no when I meant yes.
Carrying around guilt.
And that's why
psychos run the world.
'Cause they don't give a fuck.
They don't feel guilt.
They don't give a shit.
They'll fucking kill anybody,
You know, and nice people,
we should be killing them
but we don't 'cause
we can't deal with the guilt.
Alright, and what do psychos do?
They stay in power
by killing loud, nice people.
Martin Luther King. Loud. Nice.
I know he banged a bunch of
broads, who gives a fuck?
The guy was fucking up there,
crushing it.
If nice people start
killing psychos, OK,
maybe then you wouldn't have a
swirl of trash the size of Texas
in the middle of
the fucking Pacific Ocean.
Do we work on that? No. 'Cause
there's psychos in the world
and all they end up doing is trying
to keep improvin' golf equipment
so these man-titted
fucking cunts
can keep a ball on the fairway!
[funky synth rock instrumental]
[man and woman panting]
I'm close. WOMAN: Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Cum wherever you want.
What?
I want you
to cum wherever you want.
Really? WOMAN: Yeah, baby.
OK.
I'm cumming.
[man grunting]
[man panting]
[woman panting]
Did you just cum on my mom?
[man sighing]
I want a divorce.
Get out.
Now.
- You said I could
cum wherever I want.
Get the fuck out, now!
And don't you dare go
anywhere near her out there.
[man panting]
[romantic music]
.Jake.
RICK: If you mess up,
and you feel guilty,
that means you're a good person
and just try to do better.
Apologize and try to do better,
but don't let somebody let you
Try to make you carry that shit
around for the rest of your life, you know.
Unless you took out a bus full
of old people, then, I mean,
I don't know what to tell you
at that point, you know?
I mean you fucked up for life.
You should
probably kill yourself.
[chair squeaking]
[chair continuously squeaking]
[eerie music]
If you are watching this video,
I have been murdered
by the liberal elites.
They will do any and everything
to keep the truth from spreading.
I don't have much time left.
I have uncovered the epicenter
of a human trafficking ring
led by the uber-rich
using third-party online sales.
These sick fucks
are packaging industrial-level,
high quality furniture
with kidnapped women
from around the world
including our own US soil.
The names of the furniture
match the names of
the missing kidnapped women.
[chair squeaking]
Here, drink this.
It's OK. You're safe now.
[chair squeaking]
[chair continuously squeaking]
[eerie music]
Hi.
I'm just gonna
tell you some shit
that I wish people told me
about 30 years ago before
I ended up like this.
So
Guilt.
Come on.
[Rick spitting]
If you feel guilt,
don't feel bad.
That actually means
you're, like, a good person.
You know,
hating yourself is natural.
You hate yourself
because you said yes
when you meant no.
My whole fucking life is that.
Saying yes when I meant no,
no when I meant yes.
Carrying around guilt.
And that's why
psychos run the world.
'Cause they don't give a fuck.
They don't feel guilt.
They don't give a shit.
They'll fucking kill anybody,
You know, and nice people,
we should be killing them
but we don't 'cause
we can't deal with the guilt.
Alright, and what do psychos do?
They stay in power
by killing loud, nice people.
Martin Luther King. Loud. Nice.
I know he banged a bunch of
broads, who gives a fuck?
The guy was fucking up there,
crushing it.
If nice people start
killing psychos, OK,
maybe then you wouldn't have a
swirl of trash the size of Texas
in the middle of
the fucking Pacific Ocean.
Do we work on that? No. 'Cause
there's psychos in the world
and all they end up doing is trying
to keep improvin' golf equipment
so these man-titted
fucking cunts
can keep a ball on the fairway!
[funky synth rock instrumental]
[man and woman panting]
I'm close. WOMAN: Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Cum wherever you want.
What?
I want you
to cum wherever you want.
Really? WOMAN: Yeah, baby.
OK.
I'm cumming.
[man grunting]
[man panting]
[woman panting]
Did you just cum on my mom?
[man sighing]
I want a divorce.
Get out.
Now.
- You said I could
cum wherever I want.
Get the fuck out, now!
And don't you dare go
anywhere near her out there.
[man panting]
[romantic music]
.Jake.
RICK: If you mess up,
and you feel guilty,
that means you're a good person
and just try to do better.
Apologize and try to do better,
but don't let somebody let you
Try to make you carry that shit
around for the rest of your life, you know.
Unless you took out a bus full
of old people, then, I mean,
I don't know what to tell you
at that point, you know?
I mean you fucked up for life.
You should
probably kill yourself.
[chair squeaking]
[chair continuously squeaking]
[eerie music]
If you are watching this video,
I have been murdered
by the liberal elites.
They will do any and everything
to keep the truth from spreading.
I don't have much time left.
I have uncovered the epicenter
of a human trafficking ring
led by the uber-rich
using third-party online sales.
These sick fucks
are packaging industrial-level,
high quality furniture
with kidnapped women
from around the world
including our own US soil.
The names of the furniture
match the names of
the missing kidnapped women.
[chair squeaking]
Here, drink this.
It's OK. You're safe now.
[chair squeaking]
[chair continuously squeaking]
[eerie music]