Immoral Compass (2021) s01e05 Episode Script
Part 5: Hypocrisy
1
It's like, whenever somebody comes
out and they're trashing somebody else,
I get it. You know, that
person's a piece of shit.
But, what about you?
Huh?
What are you doing?
Just going around
vetting people.
Let me ask you this.
Who's vetting the vetters?
[static]
Shit only runs one fucking way
with those social justice warriors.
They're sexist!
And they're intolerant.
What about Coco Chanel?
She's a feminist hero?
This fucking chick liked clothes
more than she liked people.
No one's saying shit about her.
Fucking Nazis took
over her own country
and then, the second
she saw them showing up,
in their fucking
Hugo Boss uniforms,
she was all down with them.
She was a Nazi sympathizer.
"Ooh, but does she
make a nice purse!"
[funky synth rock instrumental]
[grunting]
[crickets buzzing]
[sobbing]
[sniffling]
[engine rumbling]
[engine fading]
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Come on, get out of the way,
you fucking tree hugger.
[birds chirping]
[gasping]
I will not!
[chains jangling]
You pollute the atmosphere,
you cu-cut down trees
and, you know
the ozone-
Hey, that's really cool,
but one way or another,
we're coming through.
[birds chirping]
♪
[sighing]
[shovel clanging]
[panting]
[footsteps]
[sighing]
[ominous music]
♪
[news theme]
REPORTER: Chestnut Valley,
the center of a high profile standoff
between the expansion
of local infrastructure
and extremist environmentalists.
At the center of it
all, Clint Irwin.
Is it a crime to
care about the planet?
REPORTER: Clint says there's no
one more knowledgeable than him
on the topic of deforestation.
You know, who needs paper?
You know? Everything's online.
I think it's great.
He's standing up for
what he believes in.
I wish we had
more of that in this country.
You know, every tree
branch is like a cloud, someday,
because of oxygen
through [inhaling]
The bark.
REPORTER: When it comes
to protecting the environment,
I asked Clint, how far
is he willing to go?
As far as it takes,
if it means no one
will ever dig here.
REPORTER: Paula
Shaw, Action 9 News.
I wanna see
one of these white chicks
with the fucking blond hair,
the fake blond hair,
I want to see you get vetted.
A 28-year-old gorgeous woman
fucking a 70-year-old rich guy.
That's not a predator?
His whole body
looks like a fucking ball bag?
That's your dream guy?
You know what she's doing, she's
feeding him bacon every morning,
trying to give him that last heart
attack so she can take his house.
[static]
KAREN: Oh God, there's someone
trespassing in our neighborhood.
There are kids out playing,
God knows what he's doing.
I'm filming you now,
how do you like it?
KAREN: Go ahead,
I'm not doing anything wrong.
So, where do you live?
Uh, this woman's been following
me for no goddamned reason.
- KAREN: Where do you live?
- I don't have to tell you!
KAREN: I am trying to keep
this neighborhood respectable.
I have a right to know
what you're doing here.
I'm walking.
KAREN: You know, I
could call the cops.
- What is your address?
- I'm literally just walking.
You can call the cops on me
literally just walking.
- KAREN: Yeah!
- Racist, damn!
KAREN: Excuse me, I am not
racist, I work with Blacks everyday!
And I know you're not just
walking around, come on.
- Not just walking around?
I'm just not walk OK.
All right, stay away from me!
KAREN: What is your name?
- Actually, fine.
My name is Jerome Stevens.
I live, literally,
on this street!
We're probably neighbors.
Happy, now?
Good, OK, OK, uh, uh,
I have your name,
so watch your behavior,
and I have it on video,
so watch your behavior.
Go on now.
JEROME: Wait a sec, wait.
Wait, I recognize that voice.
No you don't! JEROME:
Wait, Principal Henderson?!
Oh shit! [Laughing] Wait , stop!
Principal Henderson, come back
out, come back around here,
I'm going to post this shit
all on Facebook, come on.
[Jerome laughing]
I knew it!
Take off that fucking mask.
Take off the mask.
You heard me.
Oh my God!
- Give it to me.
JEROME: Wait, back up,
- back, back up!
- Give me that phone!
JEROME: Hey, take one more
fucking step and I swear to God,
I'll post this shit everywhere.
Fuck Facebook,
I'll send it straight to CNN.
Fine, what do you want?
JEROME: I want As for
the rest of the Goddamned year.
[birds chirping]
- [softly] OK.
JEROME: I can't hear you.
[throat clearing]
I couldn't couldn't hear that,
- could you say that again?
- OK?
[Jerome laughing] JEROME:
No, I need you to say it.
You will have As
for the rest of the year.
OK?
JEROME: Wait what, what's that?
Wait, you've been talking about keeping a
respectable neighborhood this whole time
and you have the dog that's been
shitting on everybody's lawn?
I didn't have a
bag today. I just
JEROME: Didn't, didn't have a
I need you to pick it up.
- No, I don't have a bag.
JEROME: I don't care
if you don't have a bag. I need
you to pick up after your dog.
I'm just trying to keep
this neighborhood respectable.
[sighing]
No.
JEROME: All right, well, I guess I'll just
have to send this shit to Facebook, CNN,
oh my God,
Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat
Oh, OK! JEROME: Your
career is over! Oh, my
Happy? JEROME: Oh, my gosh!
Fucking people.
JEROME: Oh, and for that shit,
now you've gotta eat it.
What?!
JEROME: You heard me, eat it.
I, uh, your career is over
if you don't eat it.
No, I'm not.
[huffing]
JEROME: OK, then, see ya.
KAREN: Wait!
JEROME: Oh, I knew it.
[footsteps]
I'm waiting.
[sighing]
Oh, my oh, my God, oh my God!
[retching] Oh, my God!
Thanks to everyone that tuned
into this Facebook Live.
I'm gonna go gargle with
mouthwash, oh, my God!
[static]
It's like, whenever somebody comes
out and they're trashing somebody else,
I get it. You know, that
person's a piece of shit.
But, what about you?
Huh?
What are you doing?
Just going around
vetting people.
Let me ask you this.
Who's vetting the vetters?
[static]
Shit only runs one fucking way
with those social justice warriors.
They're sexist!
And they're intolerant.
What about Coco Chanel?
She's a feminist hero?
This fucking chick liked clothes
more than she liked people.
No one's saying shit about her.
Fucking Nazis took
over her own country
and then, the second
she saw them showing up,
in their fucking
Hugo Boss uniforms,
she was all down with them.
She was a Nazi sympathizer.
"Ooh, but does she
make a nice purse!"
[funky synth rock instrumental]
[grunting]
[crickets buzzing]
[sobbing]
[sniffling]
[engine rumbling]
[engine fading]
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Come on, get out of the way,
you fucking tree hugger.
[birds chirping]
[gasping]
I will not!
[chains jangling]
You pollute the atmosphere,
you cu-cut down trees
and, you know
the ozone-
Hey, that's really cool,
but one way or another,
we're coming through.
[birds chirping]
♪
[sighing]
[shovel clanging]
[panting]
[footsteps]
[sighing]
[ominous music]
♪
[news theme]
REPORTER: Chestnut Valley,
the center of a high profile standoff
between the expansion
of local infrastructure
and extremist environmentalists.
At the center of it
all, Clint Irwin.
Is it a crime to
care about the planet?
REPORTER: Clint says there's no
one more knowledgeable than him
on the topic of deforestation.
You know, who needs paper?
You know? Everything's online.
I think it's great.
He's standing up for
what he believes in.
I wish we had
more of that in this country.
You know, every tree
branch is like a cloud, someday,
because of oxygen
through [inhaling]
The bark.
REPORTER: When it comes
to protecting the environment,
I asked Clint, how far
is he willing to go?
As far as it takes,
if it means no one
will ever dig here.
REPORTER: Paula
Shaw, Action 9 News.
I wanna see
one of these white chicks
with the fucking blond hair,
the fake blond hair,
I want to see you get vetted.
A 28-year-old gorgeous woman
fucking a 70-year-old rich guy.
That's not a predator?
His whole body
looks like a fucking ball bag?
That's your dream guy?
You know what she's doing, she's
feeding him bacon every morning,
trying to give him that last heart
attack so she can take his house.
[static]
KAREN: Oh God, there's someone
trespassing in our neighborhood.
There are kids out playing,
God knows what he's doing.
I'm filming you now,
how do you like it?
KAREN: Go ahead,
I'm not doing anything wrong.
So, where do you live?
Uh, this woman's been following
me for no goddamned reason.
- KAREN: Where do you live?
- I don't have to tell you!
KAREN: I am trying to keep
this neighborhood respectable.
I have a right to know
what you're doing here.
I'm walking.
KAREN: You know, I
could call the cops.
- What is your address?
- I'm literally just walking.
You can call the cops on me
literally just walking.
- KAREN: Yeah!
- Racist, damn!
KAREN: Excuse me, I am not
racist, I work with Blacks everyday!
And I know you're not just
walking around, come on.
- Not just walking around?
I'm just not walk OK.
All right, stay away from me!
KAREN: What is your name?
- Actually, fine.
My name is Jerome Stevens.
I live, literally,
on this street!
We're probably neighbors.
Happy, now?
Good, OK, OK, uh, uh,
I have your name,
so watch your behavior,
and I have it on video,
so watch your behavior.
Go on now.
JEROME: Wait a sec, wait.
Wait, I recognize that voice.
No you don't! JEROME:
Wait, Principal Henderson?!
Oh shit! [Laughing] Wait , stop!
Principal Henderson, come back
out, come back around here,
I'm going to post this shit
all on Facebook, come on.
[Jerome laughing]
I knew it!
Take off that fucking mask.
Take off the mask.
You heard me.
Oh my God!
- Give it to me.
JEROME: Wait, back up,
- back, back up!
- Give me that phone!
JEROME: Hey, take one more
fucking step and I swear to God,
I'll post this shit everywhere.
Fuck Facebook,
I'll send it straight to CNN.
Fine, what do you want?
JEROME: I want As for
the rest of the Goddamned year.
[birds chirping]
- [softly] OK.
JEROME: I can't hear you.
[throat clearing]
I couldn't couldn't hear that,
- could you say that again?
- OK?
[Jerome laughing] JEROME:
No, I need you to say it.
You will have As
for the rest of the year.
OK?
JEROME: Wait what, what's that?
Wait, you've been talking about keeping a
respectable neighborhood this whole time
and you have the dog that's been
shitting on everybody's lawn?
I didn't have a
bag today. I just
JEROME: Didn't, didn't have a
I need you to pick it up.
- No, I don't have a bag.
JEROME: I don't care
if you don't have a bag. I need
you to pick up after your dog.
I'm just trying to keep
this neighborhood respectable.
[sighing]
No.
JEROME: All right, well, I guess I'll just
have to send this shit to Facebook, CNN,
oh my God,
Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat
Oh, OK! JEROME: Your
career is over! Oh, my
Happy? JEROME: Oh, my gosh!
Fucking people.
JEROME: Oh, and for that shit,
now you've gotta eat it.
What?!
JEROME: You heard me, eat it.
I, uh, your career is over
if you don't eat it.
No, I'm not.
[huffing]
JEROME: OK, then, see ya.
KAREN: Wait!
JEROME: Oh, I knew it.
[footsteps]
I'm waiting.
[sighing]
Oh, my oh, my God, oh my God!
[retching] Oh, my God!
Thanks to everyone that tuned
into this Facebook Live.
I'm gonna go gargle with
mouthwash, oh, my God!
[static]