Impractical Jokers (2017) s03e03 Episode Script
Field of Screams
Narrator: WHAT'S GOT JOE AND MURR SCREECHING FOR JOY? [ SCREECHES .]
MURR SCREECHING FOR JOY? [ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHING .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHING .]
Narrator: WHY IS MURR UP IN [ SCREECHING .]
Narrator: WHY IS MURR UP IN ARMS OVER A PENGUIN? Narrator: WHY IS MURR UP IN ARMS OVER A PENGUIN? I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! ARMS OVER A PENGUIN? I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHAT'S GOT [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHAT'S GOT TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING Narrator: AND WHAT'S GOT TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING SCARED? TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING SCARED? [ SCREAMING .]
SCARED? [ SCREAMING .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING [ SCREAMING .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! [ LAUGHTER .]
TODAY WE'RE IN THE PARK GIVING EACH OTHER EMBARRASSING TASKS USING THE OFFICIAL GIVING EACH OTHER EMBARRASSING TASKS USING THE OFFICIAL "IMPRACTICAL JOKERS" VOICE TASKS USING THE OFFICIAL "IMPRACTICAL JOKERS" VOICE MODULATOR.
"IMPRACTICAL JOKERS" VOICE MODULATOR.
SO, OUR VOICES THAT NORMALLY MODULATOR.
SO, OUR VOICES THAT NORMALLY SOUND LIKE THIS[Deep voice.]
SO, OUR VOICES THAT NORMALLY SOUND LIKE THIS[Deep voice.]
NOW SOUND LIKE THIS.
SOUND LIKE THIS[Deep voice.]
NOW SOUND LIKE THIS.
BUT HERE'S THE CATCH -- YOU NOW SOUND LIKE THIS.
BUT HERE'S THE CATCH -- YOU HAVE TO TRY AND GUESS WHOSE BUT HERE'S THE CATCH -- YOU HAVE TO TRY AND GUESS WHOSE DISGUISED VOICE GAVE YOU THE DISGUISED VOICE GAVE YOU THE COMMAND.
IF YOU GUESS INCORRECTLY, YOU HAVE TO PERFORM THE TASK.
HAVE TO PERFORM THE TASK.
BUT IF YOU GUESS CORRECTLY, BUT IF YOU GUESS CORRECTLY, THAT PERSON HAS TO COME OUT AND THAT PERSON HAS TO COME OUT AND DO IT THEMSELF.
DO IT THEMSELF.
[ Normal voice .]
AND AS [ Normal voice .]
AND AS ALWAYS, IF YOU CAN'T DO WHAT ALWAYS, IF YOU CAN'T DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD, YOU LOSE.
YOU'RE TOLD, YOU LOSE.
[ Deep voice .]
LET'S DO THIS, [ Deep voice .]
LET'S DO THIS, BRUTUS.
BRUTUS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ Deep voice .]
ALL RIGHT, SO YOU CAN HEAR ME, BUDDY? YOU CAN HEAR ME, BUDDY? [ Normal voice .]
YES.
[ Normal voice .]
YES.
CAN YOU TELL WHO THIS IS? CAN YOU TELL WHO THIS IS? NO CLUE.
NO CLUE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THE RANSOM'S SET AT THE RANSOM'S SET AT $1 MILLION.
$1 MILLION.
GIVE ME BACK MY SON! GIVE ME BACK MY SON! YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE TAKEN.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE TAKEN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
GIVE ME SOME JABBA THE HUTT.
GIVE ME SOME JABBA THE HUTT.
[ IMITATES JABBA THE HUTT .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ IMITATES JABBA THE HUTT .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I LIKE YOUR SCARF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I LIKE YOUR SCARF.
OH, JOE.
I LIKE YOUR SCARF.
OH, JOE.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
OH, JOE.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MY FEET HURT.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MY FEET HURT.
SAL.
HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY? MY FEET HURT.
SAL.
HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY? [ LAUGHTER .]
SAL.
HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Deep voice .]
I HATE MYSELF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ Deep voice .]
I HATE MYSELF.
WAIT, HOW DID I GET ON THE [ Deep voice .]
I HATE MYSELF.
WAIT, HOW DID I GET ON THE MIKE? WAIT, HOW DID I GET ON THE MIKE? [ LAUGHTER .]
MIKE? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Normal voice .]
HERE'S THE [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Normal voice .]
HERE'S THE ISSUE HERE, OKAY? [ Normal voice .]
HERE'S THE ISSUE HERE, OKAY? YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING ISSUE HERE, OKAY? YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING HARD TO DO.
YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING HARD TO DO.
[ Normal voice .]
RIGHT.
HARD TO DO.
[ Normal voice .]
RIGHT.
BUTIF IT'S TOO HARD AND HE [ Normal voice .]
RIGHT.
BUTIF IT'S TOO HARD AND HE GUESSES YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
BUTIF IT'S TOO HARD AND HE GUESSES YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
GUESSES YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH.
YOU MIGHT SCREW YOURSELF.
YEAH.
YOU MIGHT SCREW YOURSELF.
[ Deep voice .]
OKAY, YOU YOU MIGHT SCREW YOURSELF.
[ Deep voice .]
OKAY, YOU READY, BUDDY? [ Deep voice .]
OKAY, YOU READY, BUDDY? BURP SOMEONE.
READY, BUDDY? BURP SOMEONE.
BURP SOMEONE.
BURP SOMEONE.
BURP SOMEONE.
[ CHUCKLES .]
BURP SOMEONE.
[ CHUCKLES .]
WELL, LET ME THINK ABOUT [ CHUCKLES .]
WELL, LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS.
WELL, LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS.
MURRAY DOESN'T LIKE THAT SORT OF THIS.
MURRAY DOESN'T LIKE THAT SORT OF HUMOR.
MURRAY DOESN'T LIKE THAT SORT OF HUMOR.
SAL CAN BURP REALLY WELL, SO HUMOR.
SAL CAN BURP REALLY WELL, SO BURPING MIGHT BE ON HIS MIND.
SAL CAN BURP REALLY WELL, SO BURPING MIGHT BE ON HIS MIND.
UHI'M GONNA GO WITH SAL.
BURPING MIGHT BE ON HIS MIND.
UHI'M GONNA GO WITH SAL.
All: OH! UHI'M GONNA GO WITH SAL.
All: OH! HAVE FUN BURPING SOMEONE, All: OH! HAVE FUN BURPING SOMEONE, BUDDY.
HAVE FUN BURPING SOMEONE, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHS .]
BUDDY.
[ LAUGHS .]
THAT WAS JOE.
[ LAUGHS .]
THAT WAS JOE.
[ Normal voice .]
SINCE HE DIDN'T THAT WAS JOE.
[ Normal voice .]
SINCE HE DIDN'T GUESS ME GUESS ME YOU ESCAPED IT.
I ESCAPED.
OH, WHAT'S GOING ON, BRO? OH, WHAT'S GOING ON, BRO? HOW ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU? YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
COME ON.
COME ON.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
COME ON.
BURP IT OUT.
COME ON.
BURP IT OUT.
YOU PAT ME.
I PAT YOU.
YOU PAT ME.
I PAT YOU.
WE'LL BOTH BURP AT THE SAME WE'LL BOTH BURP AT THE SAME TIME.
TIME.
READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.
READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.
[ BOTH BELCH .]
[ BOTH BELCH .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE GOT IT! HE GOT IT! THERE YOU GO, BUD.
THERE YOU GO, BUD.
I'M BETTER NOW, BUDDY.
I'M BETTER NOW, BUDDY.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
NOT BAD, BUDDY, BUT THE ONLY WAY YOU COME BACK IN IS IF YOU NOT BAD, BUDDY, BUT THE ONLY WAY YOU COME BACK IN IS IF YOU GUESS ONE RIGHT.
WAY YOU COME BACK IN IS IF YOU GUESS ONE RIGHT.
RIGHT.
GUESS ONE RIGHT.
RIGHT.
YOU GOT TO GUESS WHO SAID IT.
RIGHT.
YOU GOT TO GUESS WHO SAID IT.
ALL RIGHT.
SURE.
YOU GOT TO GUESS WHO SAID IT.
ALL RIGHT.
SURE.
GIVE ME THE NEXT ONE.
ALL RIGHT.
SURE.
GIVE ME THE NEXT ONE.
[ Deep voice .]
PUT SOMEONE'S GIVE ME THE NEXT ONE.
[ Deep voice .]
PUT SOMEONE'S FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
[ Deep voice .]
PUT SOMEONE'S FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
MURRAY.
FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
MURRAY.
[ Normal voice .]
NO WAY! MURRAY.
[ Normal voice .]
NO WAY! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Normal voice .]
NO WAY! [ LAUGHTER .]
MURRAY, 'CAUSE ONLY MURRAY [ LAUGHTER .]
MURRAY, 'CAUSE ONLY MURRAY WOULD TELL US TO DO SOMETHING MURRAY, 'CAUSE ONLY MURRAY WOULD TELL US TO DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT.
WOULD TELL US TO DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT.
[ Deep voice .]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
STUPID LIKE THAT.
[ Deep voice .]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
NO! NO! [ Deep voice .]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
NO! NO! GET OUT THERE.
NO! NO! GET OUT THERE.
GET OUT THERE AND GET PEOPLE'S GET OUT THERE AND GET PEOPLE'S FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
HEY, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? I'M TESTING OUT A NEW MAGIC I'M TESTING OUT A NEW MAGIC TRICK.
TRICK.
CAN I TEST IT ON YOU REAL QUICK? CAN I TEST IT ON YOU REAL QUICK? IT TAKES 10 SECONDS.
IT TAKES 10 SECONDS.
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR FINGERS I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR FINGERS DISAPPEAR.
DISAPPEAR.
OKAY, SO, WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO OKAY, SO, WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO IS THIS.
IS THIS.
IT'S AN ILLUSION, OKAY? IT'S AN ILLUSION, OKAY? LIKE, AS NARROW AS YOU CAN GET.
LIKE, AS NARROW AS YOU CAN GET.
OKAY, NOW, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
OKAY, NOW, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
YOU JUST TAKE THIS, DO THIS.
YOU JUST TAKE THIS, DO THIS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THE TRICK IS VERY SIMPLE.
AND THE TRICK IS VERY SIMPLE.
YOU GO TA-DA.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DID IT.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DID IT.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HE DID IT.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
WOW! THAT'S GREAT.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
WOW! THAT'S GREAT.
[ Deep voice .]
HOW'S VICTORY WOW! THAT'S GREAT.
[ Deep voice .]
HOW'S VICTORY TASTE, BUDDY? [ Deep voice .]
HOW'S VICTORY TASTE, BUDDY? TASTES LIKE A SUBWAY.
TASTE, BUDDY? TASTES LIKE A SUBWAY.
[ SPITS .]
TASTES LIKE A SUBWAY.
[ SPITS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SPITS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW YOU'RE UP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW YOU'RE UP.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
GIVE IT TO ME.
NOW YOU'RE UP.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
GIVE IT TO ME.
[ Deep voice .]
PLAY AIR OH.
ALL RIGHT.
GIVE IT TO ME.
[ Deep voice .]
PLAY AIR GUITAR AND AIR DRUMS IN [ Deep voice .]
PLAY AIR GUITAR AND AIR DRUMS IN SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE.
GUITAR AND AIR DRUMS IN SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE.
OHH.
SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE.
OHH.
OKAY, THIS IS INTERESTING.
OHH.
OKAY, THIS IS INTERESTING.
SAL DOESN'T LIKE INVADING OKAY, THIS IS INTERESTING.
SAL DOESN'T LIKE INVADING PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE, BUT HE SAL DOESN'T LIKE INVADING PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE, BUT HE DOES LIKE SHOWMANSHIP.
PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE, BUT HE DOES LIKE SHOWMANSHIP.
[ Normal voice .]
MM.
DOES LIKE SHOWMANSHIP.
[ Normal voice .]
MM.
YOU ARE A SHOWMAN.
[ Normal voice .]
MM.
YOU ARE A SHOWMAN.
WELL, Q IS THE VIDEO-GAME YOU ARE A SHOWMAN.
WELL, Q IS THE VIDEO-GAME GUY, AND Q PLAYS THE AIR GUITAR WELL, Q IS THE VIDEO-GAME GUY, AND Q PLAYS THE AIR GUITAR AND THE AIR DRUMS.
GUY, AND Q PLAYS THE AIR GUITAR AND THE AIR DRUMS.
YOU PLAY THAT AIR-GUITAR AND THE AIR DRUMS.
YOU PLAY THAT AIR-GUITAR VIDEO GAME ALL THE TIME? YOU PLAY THAT AIR-GUITAR VIDEO GAME ALL THE TIME? CLEARLY, THE ANSWER IS SAL.
VIDEO GAME ALL THE TIME? CLEARLY, THE ANSWER IS SAL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CLEARLY, THE ANSWER IS SAL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH! YOU'RE UP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH! YOU'RE UP.
YEAH! YEAH! YOU'RE UP.
YEAH! YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
YEAH! YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
NOT CLEVER ENOUGH FOR THE OLD YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
NOT CLEVER ENOUGH FOR THE OLD MURR.
NOT CLEVER ENOUGH FOR THE OLD MURR.
THERE YOU GO.
MURR.
THERE YOU GO.
I KNEW IT.
GET OUT THERE! I KNEW IT.
GET OUT THERE! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
HE LOOKS CRAZY.
HE LOOKS CRAZY.
OH, HE'S PUTTING THE GUITAR OH, HE'S PUTTING THE GUITAR ON! ON! [ IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
[ IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
IS SHE JUST TRYING TO IGNORE IS SHE JUST TRYING TO IGNORE THE CONCERT THAT'S GOING ON? THE CONCERT THAT'S GOING ON? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE DID THE MARTY McFLY RIGHT HE DID THE MARTY McFLY RIGHT BY HER.
[ CONTINUES IMITATING GUITAR BY HER.
[ CONTINUES IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
[ CONTINUES IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOTES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
AH! HE'S CHASING HER OFF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AH! HE'S CHASING HER OFF.
[ IMITATING WHINING GUITAR AH! HE'S CHASING HER OFF.
[ IMITATING WHINING GUITAR NOTES LOUDLY .]
[ IMITATING WHINING GUITAR NOTES LOUDLY .]
[ Deep voice .]
DRUM SOLO.
NOTES LOUDLY .]
[ Deep voice .]
DRUM SOLO.
[ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
[ Deep voice .]
DRUM SOLO.
[ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
SHE'S DANCING! [ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
SHE'S DANCING! SHE'S HEADBANGING.
SHE'S DANCING! SHE'S HEADBANGING.
[ VOCALIZING .]
SHE'S HEADBANGING.
[ VOCALIZING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
BEST CONCERT SHE NEVER GOT INVITED TO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ Normal voice .]
WELL DONE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ Normal voice .]
WELL DONE, SAL.
[ Normal voice .]
WELL DONE, SAL.
SAL, NICELY TOSSED.
SAL.
SAL, NICELY TOSSED.
GUYS, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NOW.
SAL, NICELY TOSSED.
GUYS, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NOW.
YOU CAN'T STOP UNTIL YOU GUYS, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NOW.
YOU CAN'T STOP UNTIL YOU GUESS WHO'S SAYING IT, BUDDY.
YOU CAN'T STOP UNTIL YOU GUESS WHO'S SAYING IT, BUDDY.
OKAY, OKAY.
GUESS WHO'S SAYING IT, BUDDY.
OKAY, OKAY.
THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL SOMEONE OKAY, OKAY.
THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES.
THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES.
[ GRUNTS .]
LOSES.
[ GRUNTS .]
[ Deep voice .]
OH! OH! [ GRUNTS .]
[ Deep voice .]
OH! OH! KISS THIS BLONDE ON THE LIPS.
[ Deep voice .]
OH! OH! KISS THIS BLONDE ON THE LIPS.
THIS IS JOE.
KISS THIS BLONDE ON THE LIPS.
THIS IS JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
THIS IS JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
GO KISS THAT BLOND GIRL.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
GO KISS THAT BLOND GIRL.
GO KISS HER.
GO KISS THAT BLOND GIRL.
GO KISS HER.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
GO KISS HER.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW.
IT'S JOE.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW.
IT'S JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
I KNOW.
IT'S JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE Q TO ME.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE Q TO ME.
[ Normal voice .]
NO, IT [ Normal voice .]
NO, IT DOESN'T! HE'S PUTTING MINTS IN HIS MOUTH.
MOUTH.
HE'S PUTTING MINTS IN.
HE'S PUTTING MINTS IN.
[ Deep voice .]
NOW YOU HAVE TO [ Deep voice .]
NOW YOU HAVE TO GO KISS HER, SHOW-OFF.
GO KISS HER, SHOW-OFF.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU? HEY, HOW ARE YOU? I'M GOOD.
I'M GOOD.
GOOD.
GOOD.
WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S GOING ON? UH, I'M JUST -- I WAS JUST UH, I'M JUST -- I WAS JUST HANGING OUT IN THE PARK.
HANGING OUT IN THE PARK.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
[ STAMMERING .]
[ STAMMERING .]
DO YOU COME AROUND HERE OFTEN? DO YOU COME AROUND HERE OFTEN? UH I GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
UH I GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
ALL RIGHT.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
BYE.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
BYE.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY .]
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
BYE.
BYE.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY .]
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY.
WE HAVE A LOSER.
[ BUZZER .]
WE HAVE A LOSER.
[ BUZZER .]
GAME OVER.
[ BUZZER .]
GAME OVER.
Narrator: SAL KISSES HIS WIN GAME OVER.
Narrator: SAL KISSES HIS WIN GOODBYE.
Narrator: SAL KISSES HIS WIN GOODBYE.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! WE QUIT.
TODAY MURR AND SAL WILL BE POSING AS EMPLOYEES AT DIFFERENT POSING AS EMPLOYEES AT DIFFERENT LOCATIONS.
LOCATIONS.
BUT NOT FOR LONG 'CAUSE WE BUT NOT FOR LONG 'CAUSE WE HAVE TO QUIT OUR JOBS IN FRONT HAVE TO QUIT OUR JOBS IN FRONT OF A TON OF PEOPLE.
OF A TON OF PEOPLE.
THE REASON THAT YOU'RE THE REASON THAT YOU'RE QUITTING WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU BY QUITTING WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU BY THE OTHER GUYS.
THE OTHER GUYS.
THE GOAL IS TO GET THE CROWD THE GOAL IS TO GET THE CROWD TO APPLAUD FOR YOU, NO MATTER TO APPLAUD FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW RIDICULOUS THE REASON.
HOW RIDICULOUS THE REASON.
IF THEY CAN'T RILE UP THE IF THEY CAN'T RILE UP THE CROWD, THEY LOSE.
CROWD, THEY LOSE.
I AM GONNA QUIT SO I AM GONNA QUIT SO FANTASTICALLY.
FANTASTICALLY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: IT'S MURR VERSUS Narrator: IT'S MURR VERSUS SAL IN A "JOKER VERSUS JOKER" SAL IN A "JOKER VERSUS JOKER" CHALLENGE.
INDISTINCT TALKING, SCANNERS BEEPING .]
BEEPING .]
DO YOU WANT THE HANGER OR? DO YOU WANT THE HANGER OR? AH, ANOTHER HARD DAY AT WORK.
AH, ANOTHER HARD DAY AT WORK.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, MAN.
YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, MAN.
YOU WANT TO GET OUT AND FOLLOW YOU WANT TO GET OUT AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.
YOUR DREAMS.
ALL RIGHT, SAL.
ALL RIGHT, SAL.
IT'S TIME TO GET OUT.
IT'S TIME TO GET OUT.
GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION AND LET GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION AND LET THEM KNOW WHY YOU'RE QUITTING.
REMEMBER -- YOU HAVE TO GET THEM THEM KNOW WHY YOU'RE QUITTING.
REMEMBER -- YOU HAVE TO GET THEM TO APPLAUD.
REMEMBER -- YOU HAVE TO GET THEM TO APPLAUD.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND TO APPLAUD.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
COULD I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, GENTLEMEN.
COULD I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? COULD I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? OH! IT GOT QUIET! PLEASE? OH! IT GOT QUIET! WOW.
OH! IT GOT QUIET! WOW.
I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW WOW.
I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM QUITTING I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM QUITTING WHY ARE YOU QUITTING? THAT I AM QUITTING WHY ARE YOU QUITTING? 'CAUSE YOUR FATHER FORCED YOU WHY ARE YOU QUITTING? 'CAUSE YOUR FATHER FORCED YOU INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT 'CAUSE YOUR FATHER FORCED YOU INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
BECAUSE IT WAS MY DAD WHO RETAIL.
BECAUSE IT WAS MY DAD WHO PRESSURED ME INTO THE FIELD OF BECAUSE IT WAS MY DAD WHO PRESSURED ME INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
PRESSURED ME INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
AND YOU ARE BREAKING FREE TO DISCOUNT RETAIL.
AND YOU ARE BREAKING FREE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! AND YOU ARE BREAKING FREE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! YES! FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! YES! [ LAUGHS .]
YES! [ LAUGHS .]
AND I'M LEAVING TO FINALLY [ LAUGHS .]
AND I'M LEAVING TO FINALLY FOLLOW MY OWN DREAMS, IS ALL I'M AND I'M LEAVING TO FINALLY FOLLOW MY OWN DREAMS, IS ALL I'M SAYING.
FOLLOW MY OWN DREAMS, IS ALL I'M SAYING.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT OUT SAYING.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LOUD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE THESE DREAMS? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE THESE DREAMS? I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT.
WHAT ARE THESE DREAMS? I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT.
MY DREAMS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT.
MY DREAMS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO FOLLOWING JAMIROQUAI MY DREAMS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO FOLLOWING JAMIROQUAI AROUND THE WORLD LIMITED TO FOLLOWING JAMIROQUAI AROUND THE WORLD [ LAUGHTER .]
AROUND THE WORLD [ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S JAMIROQUAI? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S JAMIROQUAI? HE'S A SINGER.
WHO'S JAMIROQUAI? HE'S A SINGER.
A BELOVED '90s POP ICON.
HE'S A SINGER.
A BELOVED '90s POP ICON.
OH.
A BELOVED '90s POP ICON.
OH.
'CAUSE I'M A HUGE FAN.
OH.
'CAUSE I'M A HUGE FAN.
HE'S GOT THE HAT.
'CAUSE I'M A HUGE FAN.
HE'S GOT THE HAT.
HE'S GOT "VIRTUAL INSANITY.
" HE'S GOT THE HAT.
HE'S GOT "VIRTUAL INSANITY.
" HE'S GOT THE OTHER HITS.
HE'S GOT "VIRTUAL INSANITY.
" HE'S GOT THE OTHER HITS.
SAL, IS JAMIROQUAI YOUR ONLY HE'S GOT THE OTHER HITS.
SAL, IS JAMIROQUAI YOUR ONLY DREAM? SAL, IS JAMIROQUAI YOUR ONLY DREAM? DREAM BIGGER, BUDDY.
DREAM? DREAM BIGGER, BUDDY.
THE OTHER THING I'M GONNA DREAM BIGGER, BUDDY.
THE OTHER THING I'M GONNA DO -- AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO THE OTHER THING I'M GONNA DO -- AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT -- IS BLOG ABOUT FRUIT.
DO -- AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT -- IS BLOG ABOUT FRUIT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DO IT -- IS BLOG ABOUT FRUIT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I THINK FRUIT IS DELICIOUS [ LAUGHTER .]
I THINK FRUIT IS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS, AND I WANT TO I THINK FRUIT IS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS, AND I WANT TO GET THE WORD OUT.
AND NUTRITIOUS, AND I WANT TO GET THE WORD OUT.
BANANAS, APPLES, ORANGES.
GET THE WORD OUT.
BANANAS, APPLES, ORANGES.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE BANANAS, APPLES, ORANGES.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PLUMS.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PLUMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! PLUMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! [ LAUGHTER .]
WHY CAN'T YOU WORK HERE AND [ LAUGHTER .]
WHY CAN'T YOU WORK HERE AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT? WHY CAN'T YOU WORK HERE AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT? I'M NOT SURE.
BLOG ABOUT FRUIT? I'M NOT SURE.
IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ONE LIFE.
I'M NOT SURE.
IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ONE LIFE.
ALSO, SHANDRA IN TEXTILES CAN IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ONE LIFE.
ALSO, SHANDRA IN TEXTILES CAN BE A REAL "B" WHEN SHE WANTS TO, ALSO, SHANDRA IN TEXTILES CAN BE A REAL "B" WHEN SHE WANTS TO, AND I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH BE A REAL "B" WHEN SHE WANTS TO, AND I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THAT.
AND I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, I JUST ASK YOU TO SUPPORT ME [ LAUGHTER .]
SO, I JUST ASK YOU TO SUPPORT ME IN MY DECISION TO FOLLOW MY SO, I JUST ASK YOU TO SUPPORT ME IN MY DECISION TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS, FOR ANY OF YOU WHO HAVE IN MY DECISION TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS, FOR ANY OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRESSURED BY YOUR PARENTS DREAMS, FOR ANY OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRESSURED BY YOUR PARENTS INTO DISCOUNT RETAIL BEEN PRESSURED BY YOUR PARENTS INTO DISCOUNT RETAIL [ LAUGHTER .]
INTO DISCOUNT RETAIL [ LAUGHTER .]
TO JOIN ME AND STICK UP FOR [ LAUGHTER .]
TO JOIN ME AND STICK UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND FOLLOW TO JOIN ME AND STICK UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.
WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.
THANK YOU, EVERYONE.
YOUR DREAMS.
THANK YOU, EVERYONE.
ALL RIGHT! OKAY! THANK YOU, EVERYONE.
ALL RIGHT! OKAY! [ APPLAUSE .]
ALL RIGHT! OKAY! [ APPLAUSE .]
OH! [ APPLAUSE .]
OH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! OH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'M QUITTING TO FOLLOW THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'M QUITTING TO FOLLOW JAMIROQUAI AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT! I'M QUITTING TO FOLLOW JAMIROQUAI AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT! ALL RIGHT! JAMIROQUAI AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT! ALL RIGHT! HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT! HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD IT.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD IT.
I QUIT.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD IT.
I QUIT.
[ DING .]
I QUIT.
[ DING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HI, EVERYONE.
HOW ARE YOU? COME ON DOWN, GUYS.
COME ON DOWN, GUYS.
WELL, MURR WORKS HERE IN THE WELL, MURR WORKS HERE IN THE ZOO BUT NOT FOR LONG.
ZOO BUT NOT FOR LONG.
SAL QUIT HIS JOB.
SAL QUIT HIS JOB.
NOW MURR'S UP.
NOW MURR'S UP.
MY NAME IS JAMES.
MY NAME IS JAMES.
I'M A ZOOKEEPER.
I'M A ZOOKEEPER.
WHAT THIS CROWD DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THIS CROWD DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT MURRAY CANNOT TAKE THIS IS THAT MURRAY CANNOT TAKE THIS JOB ANYMORE, AND HE IS ABOUT TO JOB ANYMORE, AND HE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A BREAKDOWN.
HAVE A BREAKDOWN.
[ PENGUIN SQUAWKING .]
[ PENGUIN SQUAWKING .]
AND YOU'VE SEEN THESE GUYS ALREADY, RIGHT? AND YOU'VE SEEN THESE GUYS ALREADY, RIGHT? ANYBODY KNOW HOW FAST THEY CAN ALREADY, RIGHT? ANYBODY KNOW HOW FAST THEY CAN SWIM UNDERWATER? ANYBODY KNOW HOW FAST THEY CAN SWIM UNDERWATER? YOU KNOW WHAT? SWIM UNDERWATER? YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, GUYS.
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, GUYS.
II CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, GUYS.
II CAN'T DO THIS.
I QUIT II CAN'T DO THIS.
I QUIT IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THIS I QUIT IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THIS PENGUIN DRAMA.
IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THIS PENGUIN DRAMA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PENGUIN DRAMA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BECAUSE OF ALL THE PENGUIN [ LAUGHTER .]
BECAUSE OF ALL THE PENGUIN DRAMA.
BECAUSE OF ALL THE PENGUIN DRAMA.
THE REST IS ALL YOU, BUDDY.
DRAMA.
THE REST IS ALL YOU, BUDDY.
GOOD LUCK.
THE REST IS ALL YOU, BUDDY.
GOOD LUCK.
[ GROANS .]
GOOD LUCK.
[ GROANS .]
I'LL TELL YOU -- IT'S HARD [ GROANS .]
I'LL TELL YOU -- IT'S HARD WORKING HERE.
I'LL TELL YOU -- IT'S HARD WORKING HERE.
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR YEARS WORKING HERE.
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR YEARS NOW WORKING IN THIS ZOO, AND THE I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR YEARS NOW WORKING IN THIS ZOO, AND THE PENGUIN DRAMA IS JUST REALLY NOW WORKING IN THIS ZOO, AND THE PENGUIN DRAMA IS JUST REALLY HARD.
PENGUIN DRAMA IS JUST REALLY HARD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HARD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS NOT [ LAUGHTER .]
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE! EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE! SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR PENGUIN BLACK AND WHITE! SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR PENGUIN MAMA! SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR PENGUIN MAMA! HE EXPECTS TO WIN THE CROWD MAMA! HE EXPECTS TO WIN THE CROWD OVER BY BERATING CUTE LITTLE HE EXPECTS TO WIN THE CROWD OVER BY BERATING CUTE LITTLE ANIMALS? OVER BY BERATING CUTE LITTLE ANIMALS? HE'S GOING THE COMPLETE WRONG ANIMALS? HE'S GOING THE COMPLETE WRONG DIRECTION.
HE'S GOING THE COMPLETE WRONG DIRECTION.
THIS ONE POOPED IN MY SHOE ON DIRECTION.
THIS ONE POOPED IN MY SHOE ON PURPOSE LAST WEEK.
THIS ONE POOPED IN MY SHOE ON PURPOSE LAST WEEK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE HAD IT, AND I QUIT! WHO'S HAD ENOUGH OF THE PENGUIN DRAMA? DRAMA? WHO'S WITH ME? WHO'S WITH ME? NO ONE? NO ONE? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO, LITTLE GIRL.
NO, LITTLE GIRL.
THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER I WAS THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER I WAS HOPING FOR.
HOPING FOR.
I'M STANDING HERE AS A I'M STANDING HERE AS A ZOOKEEPER, SAYING, "WHO'S WITH ZOOKEEPER, SAYING, "WHO'S WITH ME QUITTING TODAY?" ME QUITTING TODAY?" WHO?! WHO?! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THAT THIS PENGUIN DRAMA IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THAT THIS PENGUIN DRAMA GOES ON AND ON AND ON.
REASON THAT THIS PENGUIN DRAMA GOES ON AND ON AND ON.
I'M FEEDING THEM FISH.
GOES ON AND ON AND ON.
I'M FEEDING THEM FISH.
YOU'RE FEEDING THEIR EGOS! I'M FEEDING THEM FISH.
YOU'RE FEEDING THEIR EGOS! HE'S NOW BERATING THEM.
YOU'RE FEEDING THEIR EGOS! HE'S NOW BERATING THEM.
THE WHOLE GOAL IS TO GET THEM TO HE'S NOW BERATING THEM.
THE WHOLE GOAL IS TO GET THEM TO CHEER WITH HIM.
THE WHOLE GOAL IS TO GET THEM TO CHEER WITH HIM.
COME ON.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
CHEER WITH HIM.
COME ON.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
MY FRIEND, YOU PLAYED THAT COME ON.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
MY FRIEND, YOU PLAYED THAT HORRIBLY WRONG.
HORRIBLY WRONG.
THAT DIDN'T WORK AT ALL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT DIDN'T WORK AT ALL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ BUZZER .]
Narrator: MURR'S NOT A GOOD [ BUZZER .]
Narrator: MURR'S NOT A GOOD QUITTER, BUT HE IS A GOOD LOSER.
COMING UP, WHAT'S GOT TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE? BIG LOSER RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE? [ SCREAMING .]
[BLEEP.]
TODAY WE'RE TEAMING UP TO DROP SOME PREHISTORIC KNOWLEDGE, DROP SOME PREHISTORIC KNOWLEDGE, GIVING LECTURES AS DINOSAUR GIVING LECTURES AS DINOSAUR EXPERTS.
EXPERTS.
IT'S TEAM INDIANA VERSUS IT'S TEAM INDIANA VERSUS TEAM "JURASSIC PARK.
" TEAM "JURASSIC PARK.
" BUT HERE'S THE THING -- WE BUT HERE'S THE THING -- WE DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT DINOSAURS, DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT DINOSAURS, AND OUR PRESENTATIONS HAVE BEEN AND OUR PRESENTATIONS HAVE BEEN MADE BY THE OTHER TEAM.
MADE BY THE OTHER TEAM.
AT THE END, WE'LL ASK THE AT THE END, WE'LL ASK THE AUDIENCE TO RAISE THEIR HANDS IF AUDIENCE TO RAISE THEIR HANDS IF THEY'D LIKE TO TAKE ANOTHER THEY'D LIKE TO TAKE ANOTHER CLASS WITH US.
CLASS WITH US.
WHICHEVER TEAM GETS THE WHICHEVER TEAM GETS THE FEWEST HANDS RAISED IS EXTINCT.
FEWEST HANDS RAISED IS EXTINCT.
[ GROANS .]
SNAKES! [ GROANS .]
SNAKES! WE HATE SNAKES! WHY ARE YOU LIMPING? I MEAN, I GOT A WALKING I MEAN, I GOT A WALKING STICK.
STICK.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? YOU LOOK LIKE AN ECCENTRIC YOU LOOK LIKE AN ECCENTRIC BILLIONAIRE WHO OWNS HIS OWN BILLIONAIRE WHO OWNS HIS OWN ISLAND.
ISLAND.
[ Deep voice .]
WELCOME TO STATEN ISLAND.
[ Deep voice .]
WELCOME TO STATEN ISLAND.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
STATEN ISLAND.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU? HI.
WELCOME.
HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU? HI.
WELCOME.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
HI.
WELCOME.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING.
WE ARE HERE TO GIVE A LITTLE THANK YOU FOR JOINING.
WE ARE HERE TO GIVE A LITTLE PRESENTATION ON DINOSAURS.
WE ARE HERE TO GIVE A LITTLE PRESENTATION ON DINOSAURS.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STARTED, PRESENTATION ON DINOSAURS.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STARTED, THEN.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STARTED, THEN.
SO, "DINOSAURS: ANCIENT HISTORY THEN.
SO, "DINOSAURS: ANCIENT HISTORY AND CUTTING-EDGE SCIENCE.
" SO, "DINOSAURS: ANCIENT HISTORY AND CUTTING-EDGE SCIENCE.
" WE'RE GONNA START AT THE AND CUTTING-EDGE SCIENCE.
" WE'RE GONNA START AT THE BEGINNING AND BUILD UP FROM WE'RE GONNA START AT THE BEGINNING AND BUILD UP FROM THERE.
BEGINNING AND BUILD UP FROM THERE.
"EVOLUTIONARY CHART.
" THERE.
"EVOLUTIONARY CHART.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
"EVOLUTIONARY CHART.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
APPARENTLY, I CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO HUMAN.
APPARENTLY, I CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO HUMAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
TO HUMAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
YOU'LL GET THERE ONE DAY.
YOU'LL GET THERE ONE DAY.
WE ALL HAVE OUR DOWNFALLS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE ALL HAVE OUR DOWNFALLS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MOVING ON.
[ LAUGHTER .]
"WANG" "WANG LENGTH BY DINOSAUR.
" "WANG" "WANG LENGTH BY DINOSAUR.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
"WANG LENGTH BY DINOSAUR.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
WE TRAVEL AROUND TO ALL [ LAUGHTER .]
WE TRAVEL AROUND TO ALL DIFFERENT ZOOS, MUSEUMS, AND WE WE TRAVEL AROUND TO ALL DIFFERENT ZOOS, MUSEUMS, AND WE GET QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DIFFERENT ZOOS, MUSEUMS, AND WE GET QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, "DINOSAURS WERE HUGE.
" GET QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, "DINOSAURS WERE HUGE.
" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "DINOSAURS WERE HUGE.
" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" THE STEGOSAURUS IS JUST "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" THE STEGOSAURUS IS JUST EMBARRASSING.
THE STEGOSAURUS IS JUST EMBARRASSING.
RIGHT.
EMBARRASSING.
RIGHT.
BIG BRAIN.
LITTLE WANG.
RIGHT.
BIG BRAIN.
LITTLE WANG.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
WE ALL WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL.
WE ALL HAD -- YOU KNOW, YOU GO WE ALL WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL.
WE ALL HAD -- YOU KNOW, YOU GO OUT ON A DATE.
WE ALL HAD -- YOU KNOW, YOU GO OUT ON A DATE.
YOU GOING ON FIRST BASE.
YOU GOING ON FIRST BASE.
FIRST BASE IS UP TOP -- HERE.
RIGHT.
EVERYTHING THAT'S ABOVE.
EVERYTHING THAT'S ABOVE.
SECOND BASE, WE'RE LOOKING AT SECOND BASE, WE'RE LOOKING AT THOSE.
THOSE.
THE T-REX COULDN'T GET TO SECOND THE T-REX COULDN'T GET TO SECOND BECAUSE BECAUSE HOW YOU GONNA GET THEM HOW YOU GONNA GET THEM TA-TAS? TA-TAS? EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME.
YES, DEAR.
WHOA! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
WOW.
WOW.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
I FEEL VERY WEIRD NOW.
I FEEL VERY WEIRD NOW.
SO, THAT IS OUR PRESENTATION SO, THAT IS OUR PRESENTATION TODAY.
OKAY, NOW LET ME JUST ASK HOW TODAY.
OKAY, NOW LET ME JUST ASK HOW MANY -- BY A SHOW OF HANDS -- OKAY, NOW LET ME JUST ASK HOW MANY -- BY A SHOW OF HANDS -- WOULD TAKE A FOLLOW-UP CLASS MANY -- BY A SHOW OF HANDS -- WOULD TAKE A FOLLOW-UP CLASS WITH US? WOULD TAKE A FOLLOW-UP CLASS WITH US? [ LAUGHTER .]
WITH US? [ LAUGHTER .]
ONE, TWO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ONE, TWO.
NOT EVEN HALF.
ONE, TWO.
NOT EVEN HALF.
WE'RE GOING TO CRUISE CONTROL NOT EVEN HALF.
WE'RE GOING TO CRUISE CONTROL ON THIS ONE.
WE'RE GOING TO CRUISE CONTROL ON THIS ONE.
WE SPARED NO EXPENSE.
WE SPARED NO EXPENSE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LET'S DO IT, INDIANA.
OH, THERE YOU GO.
OH, THERE YOU GO.
TWO DR.
JONESES RIGHT THERE.
TWO DR.
JONESES RIGHT THERE.
SORRY IF I'M OUT OF BREATH, SORRY IF I'M OUT OF BREATH, GUYS.
GUYS.
I JUST RAN FROM A BOULDER.
I JUST RAN FROM A BOULDER.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
HI, FOLKS.
HOW ARE YOU? HI, FOLKS.
HOW ARE YOU? COME ON IN.
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN.
HAVE A SEAT.
COME ON IN.
HAVE A SEAT.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE YOU WE'RE GOING TO TAKE YOU THROUGH A PRESENTATION -- FACTS THROUGH A PRESENTATION -- FACTS THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT DINOSAURS.
ABOUT DINOSAURS.
HERE WE GO.
HERE WE GO.
OKAY.
OKAY.
"NEW DINOSAUR SPECIES ARE STILL "NEW DINOSAUR SPECIES ARE STILL BEING DISCOVERED TODAY.
" THEY ESTIMATE THERE MAY BE AS BEING DISCOVERED TODAY.
" THEY ESTIMATE THERE MAY BE AS MUCH AS 1,000 MORE SPECIES STILL THEY ESTIMATE THERE MAY BE AS MUCH AS 1,000 MORE SPECIES STILL UNDISCOVERED.
MUCH AS 1,000 MORE SPECIES STILL UNDISCOVERED.
NEXT SLIDE.
UNDISCOVERED.
NEXT SLIDE.
CUTE DINOSAUR JOKES THAT I NEXT SLIDE.
CUTE DINOSAUR JOKES THAT I WROTE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SNAPS FINGERS .]
UH [ SNAPS FINGERS .]
UH THIS WOMAN'S FALLING ASLEEP.
UH THIS WOMAN'S FALLING ASLEEP.
THIS WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP.
THIS WOMAN'S FALLING ASLEEP.
THIS WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP.
THE WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP! THIS WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP.
THE WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! THE WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! [ LAUGHS .]
SHE'S ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! [ LAUGHS .]
I DINO-BORED HER TO SLEEP.
[ LAUGHS .]
I DINO-BORED HER TO SLEEP.
[ LAUGHING .]
I DINO-BORED HER TO SLEEP.
[ LAUGHING .]
SHE'S SLEEPING! FASCINATING, RIGHT? THAT WAS ACTUALLY ITS MATING THAT WAS ACTUALLY ITS MATING RITUAL.
RITUAL.
FIND OUT WHERE THIS IS GOING.
FIND OUT WHERE THIS IS GOING.
THERE.
YEAH.
THERE.
YEAH.
OF COURSE, WE WILL SHOW YOU THE OF COURSE, WE WILL SHOW YOU THE DANCE.
DANCE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS ACTUALLY HOW THESE TWO IDIOTS PICK UP GIRLS IN BARS.
TWO IDIOTS PICK UP GIRLS IN BARS.
[ SCREECHES .]
BARS.
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
SHE JUST WOKE UP.
OKAY, AND THEN BY A SHOW OF HANDS, HOW MANY BY A SHOW OF HANDS, HOW MANY OF YOU THINK YOU WOULD TAKE ANOTHER CLASS WITH US? OF YOU THINK YOU WOULD TAKE ANOTHER CLASS WITH US? THREE.
ANOTHER CLASS WITH US? THREE.
THREE! OHH! THREE.
THREE! OHH! OKAY.
THREE! OHH! OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M IMPRESSED.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M IMPRESSED.
Narrator: Q AND SAL GOT I'M IMPRESSED.
Narrator: Q AND SAL GOT FOSSILIZED, MAKING SAL TONIGHT'S Narrator: Q AND SAL GOT FOSSILIZED, MAKING SAL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
FOSSILIZED, MAKING SAL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIG LOSER.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CORNFIELD, AND, SAL, FOR YOUR WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CORNFIELD, AND, SAL, FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO CORNFIELD, AND, SAL, FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE PUNISHMENT, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE CORNFIELD TO THE OTHER.
IS GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE CORNFIELD TO THE OTHER.
THE ONLY RULES ARE YOU'VE GOT CORNFIELD TO THE OTHER.
THE ONLY RULES ARE YOU'VE GOT TO HANG ON TO THAT GUIDE ROPE.
THE ONLY RULES ARE YOU'VE GOT TO HANG ON TO THAT GUIDE ROPE.
GUYS, I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, TO HANG ON TO THAT GUIDE ROPE.
GUYS, I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, IF IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE [BLEEP.]
GUYS, I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, IF IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE [BLEEP.]
IS GONNA GO DOWN BECAUSE I'M IF IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE [BLEEP.]
IS GONNA GO DOWN BECAUSE I'M GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE.
IS GONNA GO DOWN BECAUSE I'M GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE.
I DON'T TAKE HAUNTS WELL.
GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE.
I DON'T TAKE HAUNTS WELL.
LOOK OUT! I DON'T TAKE HAUNTS WELL.
LOOK OUT! [ SHRIEKS .]
LOOK OUT! [ SHRIEKS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
IF THERE'S ONE THING SAL [ LAUGHTER .]
IF THERE'S ONE THING SAL HATES MORE THAN GERMS AND CATS, IF THERE'S ONE THING SAL HATES MORE THAN GERMS AND CATS, IT'S HAUNTED HOUSES, GHOULS.
HATES MORE THAN GERMS AND CATS, IT'S HAUNTED HOUSES, GHOULS.
GETTING SCARED IS LIKE HIS IT'S HAUNTED HOUSES, GHOULS.
GETTING SCARED IS LIKE HIS WORST FEAR.
GETTING SCARED IS LIKE HIS WORST FEAR.
I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW -- WORST FEAR.
I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW -- IF THERE'S MONSTERS IN THERE I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW -- IF THERE'S MONSTERS IN THERE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD.
IF THERE'S MONSTERS IN THERE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD.
EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT REAL YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD.
EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT REAL MONSTERS AND THEY JUST TICKLE EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT REAL MONSTERS AND THEY JUST TICKLE YOU INSTEAD, I'M TICKLISH, TOO.
MONSTERS AND THEY JUST TICKLE YOU INSTEAD, I'M TICKLISH, TOO.
I'LL STILL PUNCH IF I'M GETTING YOU INSTEAD, I'M TICKLISH, TOO.
I'LL STILL PUNCH IF I'M GETTING TICKLED.
I'LL STILL PUNCH IF I'M GETTING TICKLED.
THERE'S TICKLE MONSTERS IN TICKLED.
THERE'S TICKLE MONSTERS IN THE CORNFIELD.
THERE'S TICKLE MONSTERS IN THE CORNFIELD.
BUSTED.
WE'RE BUSTED.
THE CORNFIELD.
BUSTED.
WE'RE BUSTED.
GRAB THE [BLEEP.]
ROPE! BUSTED.
WE'RE BUSTED.
GRAB THE [BLEEP.]
ROPE! IF SOMEONE COMES AT ME -- GRAB THE [BLEEP.]
ROPE! IF SOMEONE COMES AT ME -- THIS IS EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT? IF SOMEONE COMES AT ME -- THIS IS EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT? YES.
THIS IS EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT? YES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HAND ON THE ROPE! [ LAUGHTER .]
HAND ON THE ROPE! HAND ON THE ROPE AND GET HAND ON THE ROPE! HAND ON THE ROPE AND GET WALKING! HAND ON THE ROPE AND GET WALKING! IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M WALKING! IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO [ LAUGHS .]
IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO [ LAUGHS .]
MONSTERS, SO [ LAUGHS .]
LAUGH IT UP, MURRAY, YOU [ LAUGHS .]
LAUGH IT UP, MURRAY, YOU IDIOT.
LAUGH IT UP, MURRAY, YOU IDIOT.
[ LAUGHS .]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHS .]
IF YOU'RE GONNA JUMP OUT, BE [ LAUGHS .]
IF YOU'RE GONNA JUMP OUT, BE PREPARED FOR A FIGHT.
IF YOU'RE GONNA JUMP OUT, BE PREPARED FOR A FIGHT.
WE PURPOSEFULLY DIDN'T PUT PREPARED FOR A FIGHT.
WE PURPOSEFULLY DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING IN THE FIRST TWISTS AND WE PURPOSEFULLY DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING IN THE FIRST TWISTS AND TURNS.
ANYTHING IN THE FIRST TWISTS AND TURNS.
DOES ANYBODY LOOK UP -- WHAT TURNS.
DOES ANYBODY LOOK UP -- WHAT ABOUT THE TICKS IN HERE? DOES ANYBODY LOOK UP -- WHAT ABOUT THE TICKS IN HERE? TICKS IN A CORNFIELD? ABOUT THE TICKS IN HERE? TICKS IN A CORNFIELD? NAH.
NO.
TICKS IN A CORNFIELD? NAH.
NO.
THEY GOT BEDBUGS.
NAH.
NO.
THEY GOT BEDBUGS.
AAH! THEY GOT BEDBUGS.
AAH! OH, MY GOD.
AAH! OH, MY GOD.
WHAT'D YOU SCREAM AT? OH, MY GOD.
WHAT'D YOU SCREAM AT? THE [BLEEP.]
CORN KEEPS WHAT'D YOU SCREAM AT? THE [BLEEP.]
CORN KEEPS HITTING ME IN THE HEAD.
THE [BLEEP.]
CORN KEEPS HITTING ME IN THE HEAD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HITTING ME IN THE HEAD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.
OHMYGOD! THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
STARING AT ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE DRESS [ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE DRESS STARING AT ME?! WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE DRESS STARING AT ME?! WHAT GIRL IN A DRESS? STARING AT ME?! WHAT GIRL IN A DRESS? THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A WHAT GIRL IN A DRESS? THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRESS STARING AT ME.
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, BUDDY.
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, BUDDY.
WELL, SHE'S THERE! THERE, BUDDY.
WELL, SHE'S THERE! IS SHE A GHOST?! WELL, SHE'S THERE! IS SHE A GHOST?! [ LAUGHTER .]
IS SHE A GHOST?! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU LIED! IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU LIED! IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE! GUYS, GUYS, I'M NOT WALKING GUYS, GUYS, I'M NOT WALKING TOWARD THAT LITTLE GIRL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TOWARD THAT LITTLE GIRL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! GO! FOLLOW THE ROPE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! GO! FOLLOW THE ROPE.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
GO! FOLLOW THE ROPE.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HOLY [BLEEP.]
DUDE, I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! HOLY [BLEEP.]
DUDE, I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! DID YOU PASS HER YET? DUDE, I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! DID YOU PASS HER YET? NO, I'M STARING AT HER! DID YOU PASS HER YET? NO, I'M STARING AT HER! DON'T STARE AT HER.
NO, I'M STARING AT HER! DON'T STARE AT HER.
THAT GETS HER ANGRY.
DON'T STARE AT HER.
THAT GETS HER ANGRY.
GUYS, I'M NOT -- OHH! THAT GETS HER ANGRY.
GUYS, I'M NOT -- OHH! SHE'S TELLING ME TO COME TO HER! GUYS, I'M NOT -- OHH! SHE'S TELLING ME TO COME TO HER! [ LAUGHTER .]
SHE'S TELLING ME TO COME TO HER! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU KNOW WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST GET IT OUT IN THE YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN.
LET'S JUST GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN.
YOU SEE, LITTLE GIRL, I WILL NOT OPEN.
YOU SEE, LITTLE GIRL, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU! YOU SEE, LITTLE GIRL, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Whining .]
I CAN'T GO NEAR HER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ Whining .]
I CAN'T GO NEAR HER.
[ GROANING, SHRIEKING .]
[ Whining .]
I CAN'T GO NEAR HER.
[ GROANING, SHRIEKING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ GROANING, SHRIEKING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
YOU NEED TO GO FIND AN ADULT.
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
YOU NEED TO GO FIND AN ADULT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU NEED TO GO FIND AN ADULT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I KNOW I'M GONNA LOOK SO STUPID [ LAUGHTER .]
I KNOW I'M GONNA LOOK SO STUPID ON THIS CAMERA.
I KNOW I'M GONNA LOOK SO STUPID ON THIS CAMERA.
YEAH.
ON THIS CAMERA.
YEAH.
I GET IT.
YEAH.
I GET IT.
MY FACE IS GONNA BE LIKE A BIG I GET IT.
MY FACE IS GONNA BE LIKE A BIG FISHBOWL RIGHT IN THE CAMERA MY FACE IS GONNA BE LIKE A BIG FISHBOWL RIGHT IN THE CAMERA LIKE, "OHH, AAH!" FISHBOWL RIGHT IN THE CAMERA LIKE, "OHH, AAH!" AND I'M GONNA RUN, AND LIKE, "OHH, AAH!" AND I'M GONNA RUN, AND EVERYONE'S GONNA MOCK ME.
AND I'M GONNA RUN, AND EVERYONE'S GONNA MOCK ME.
[ AIR HORN HONKS .]
EVERYONE'S GONNA MOCK ME.
[ AIR HORN HONKS .]
[ SCREAMS .]
[ AIR HORN HONKS .]
[ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
[ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
OH, MY GOD! YOU [BLEEP.]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
A [BLEEP.]
AIR HORN BLEW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
A [BLEEP.]
AIR HORN BLEW.
I FELL ON MY FACE.
A [BLEEP.]
AIR HORN BLEW.
I FELL ON MY FACE.
HEY, SAL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN I FELL ON MY FACE.
HEY, SAL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY BIRDS IN THERE OR ANYTHING, HEY, SAL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY BIRDS IN THERE OR ANYTHING, RIGHT? ANY BIRDS IN THERE OR ANYTHING, RIGHT? NO.
RIGHT? NO.
SO, ALL RIGHT.
NO.
SO, ALL RIGHT.
SO, SOMETHING'S KEEPING THOSE SO, ALL RIGHT.
SO, SOMETHING'S KEEPING THOSE BIRDS AWAY, I GUESS.
SO, SOMETHING'S KEEPING THOSE BIRDS AWAY, I GUESS.
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
THANKS.
BIRDS AWAY, I GUESS.
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
THANKS.
[ Groaning .]
OHH.
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
THANKS.
[ Groaning .]
OHH.
WHAT IS IT? [ Groaning .]
OHH.
WHAT IS IT? IT'S A DAMN SCARECROW! WHAT IS IT? IT'S A DAMN SCARECROW! OH, THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO IT'S A DAMN SCARECROW! OH, THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO BIRDS.
OH, THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO BIRDS.
IT'S GONNA JUMP RIGHT ON ME.
BIRDS.
IT'S GONNA JUMP RIGHT ON ME.
[ GROANS .]
IT'S GONNA JUMP RIGHT ON ME.
[ GROANS .]
OH, MAN.
[ GROANS .]
OH, MAN.
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
OH, MAN.
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ Whining .]
I DON'T WANT TO PASS I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ Whining .]
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ Whining .]
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I AM NOT WALKING PAST THAT [ LAUGHTER .]
I AM NOT WALKING PAST THAT THING.
I AM NOT WALKING PAST THAT THING.
THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN, MAN! THING.
THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN, MAN! [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN, MAN! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL TAKE A SWING AT YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL TAKE A SWING AT YOU! OH, THIS IS THE WORST -- I WILL TAKE A SWING AT YOU! OH, THIS IS THE WORST -- [ SCREAMS .]
OH, THIS IS THE WORST -- [ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
SON OF A BITCH! [ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
SON OF A BITCH! YOU SON OF A BITCH.
YOU [BLEEP.]
SON OF A BITCH! YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU ASS[BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU ASS[BLEEP.]
OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD! YOU ASS[BLEEP.]
OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! [ FLIES BUZZING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ FLIES BUZZING .]
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
IS THAT?! [ FLIES BUZZING .]
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
IS THAT?! THAT'S NOT [BLEEP.]
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
IS THAT?! THAT'S NOT [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S NOT [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
ENOUGH! [ LAUGHTER .]
ENOUGH! IT'S NOT A SAL PUNISHMENT ENOUGH! IT'S NOT A SAL PUNISHMENT WITHOUT HEAPING PILES OF [BLEEP.]
IT'S NOT A SAL PUNISHMENT WITHOUT HEAPING PILES OF [BLEEP.]
IT'S JUST NOT.
WITHOUT HEAPING PILES OF [BLEEP.]
IT'S JUST NOT.
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
IT'S JUST NOT.
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
THIS [BLEEP.]
IS ALL OVER ME.
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
THIS [BLEEP.]
IS ALL OVER ME.
OH, GOD.
THIS [BLEEP.]
IS ALL OVER ME.
OH, GOD.
I'M GONNA THROW UP.
OH, GOD.
I'M GONNA THROW UP.
I SMELL LIKE [BLEEP.]
I'M GONNA THROW UP.
I SMELL LIKE [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!HAT MEAN? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
YOU DID IT.
YOU DID IT.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
NOW YOU JUST GOT TO FIGURE OUT THE WAY OUT.
THE WAY OUT.
[ CROW CAWING .]
[ CROW CAWING .]
GUYS, ARE YOU SERIOUS? YEAH.
ARE YOU SERIOUS? YEP.
YEP.
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO RUN I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO RUN IN ONE DIRECTION HERE.
IN ONE DIRECTION HERE.
SAL WANTS TO RUN OUT OF THE SAL WANTS TO RUN OUT OF THE CORNFIELD.
CORNFIELD.
I BET YOU WE CAN FIND A WAY TO I BET YOU WE CAN FIND A WAY TO MAKE HIM RUN.
MAKE HIM RUN.
[ SCREAMING .]
[ SCREAMING .]
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GET HURT! I'M GONNA GET HURT! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SCREAMS .]
[ SCREAMS .]
AAH! OH [BLEEP.]
AAH! OH [BLEEP.]
[ SHRIEKING, WHIMPERING .]
MURR SCREECHING FOR JOY? [ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHING .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHING .]
Narrator: WHY IS MURR UP IN [ SCREECHING .]
Narrator: WHY IS MURR UP IN ARMS OVER A PENGUIN? Narrator: WHY IS MURR UP IN ARMS OVER A PENGUIN? I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! ARMS OVER A PENGUIN? I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHAT'S GOT [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHAT'S GOT TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING Narrator: AND WHAT'S GOT TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING SCARED? TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING SCARED? [ SCREAMING .]
SCARED? [ SCREAMING .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING [ SCREAMING .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! [ LAUGHTER .]
TODAY WE'RE IN THE PARK GIVING EACH OTHER EMBARRASSING TASKS USING THE OFFICIAL GIVING EACH OTHER EMBARRASSING TASKS USING THE OFFICIAL "IMPRACTICAL JOKERS" VOICE TASKS USING THE OFFICIAL "IMPRACTICAL JOKERS" VOICE MODULATOR.
"IMPRACTICAL JOKERS" VOICE MODULATOR.
SO, OUR VOICES THAT NORMALLY MODULATOR.
SO, OUR VOICES THAT NORMALLY SOUND LIKE THIS[Deep voice.]
SO, OUR VOICES THAT NORMALLY SOUND LIKE THIS[Deep voice.]
NOW SOUND LIKE THIS.
SOUND LIKE THIS[Deep voice.]
NOW SOUND LIKE THIS.
BUT HERE'S THE CATCH -- YOU NOW SOUND LIKE THIS.
BUT HERE'S THE CATCH -- YOU HAVE TO TRY AND GUESS WHOSE BUT HERE'S THE CATCH -- YOU HAVE TO TRY AND GUESS WHOSE DISGUISED VOICE GAVE YOU THE DISGUISED VOICE GAVE YOU THE COMMAND.
IF YOU GUESS INCORRECTLY, YOU HAVE TO PERFORM THE TASK.
HAVE TO PERFORM THE TASK.
BUT IF YOU GUESS CORRECTLY, BUT IF YOU GUESS CORRECTLY, THAT PERSON HAS TO COME OUT AND THAT PERSON HAS TO COME OUT AND DO IT THEMSELF.
DO IT THEMSELF.
[ Normal voice .]
AND AS [ Normal voice .]
AND AS ALWAYS, IF YOU CAN'T DO WHAT ALWAYS, IF YOU CAN'T DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD, YOU LOSE.
YOU'RE TOLD, YOU LOSE.
[ Deep voice .]
LET'S DO THIS, [ Deep voice .]
LET'S DO THIS, BRUTUS.
BRUTUS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ Deep voice .]
ALL RIGHT, SO YOU CAN HEAR ME, BUDDY? YOU CAN HEAR ME, BUDDY? [ Normal voice .]
YES.
[ Normal voice .]
YES.
CAN YOU TELL WHO THIS IS? CAN YOU TELL WHO THIS IS? NO CLUE.
NO CLUE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THE RANSOM'S SET AT THE RANSOM'S SET AT $1 MILLION.
$1 MILLION.
GIVE ME BACK MY SON! GIVE ME BACK MY SON! YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE TAKEN.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE TAKEN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
GIVE ME SOME JABBA THE HUTT.
GIVE ME SOME JABBA THE HUTT.
[ IMITATES JABBA THE HUTT .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ IMITATES JABBA THE HUTT .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I LIKE YOUR SCARF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I LIKE YOUR SCARF.
OH, JOE.
I LIKE YOUR SCARF.
OH, JOE.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
OH, JOE.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MY FEET HURT.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MY FEET HURT.
SAL.
HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY? MY FEET HURT.
SAL.
HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY? [ LAUGHTER .]
SAL.
HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Deep voice .]
I HATE MYSELF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ Deep voice .]
I HATE MYSELF.
WAIT, HOW DID I GET ON THE [ Deep voice .]
I HATE MYSELF.
WAIT, HOW DID I GET ON THE MIKE? WAIT, HOW DID I GET ON THE MIKE? [ LAUGHTER .]
MIKE? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Normal voice .]
HERE'S THE [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Normal voice .]
HERE'S THE ISSUE HERE, OKAY? [ Normal voice .]
HERE'S THE ISSUE HERE, OKAY? YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING ISSUE HERE, OKAY? YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING HARD TO DO.
YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING HARD TO DO.
[ Normal voice .]
RIGHT.
HARD TO DO.
[ Normal voice .]
RIGHT.
BUTIF IT'S TOO HARD AND HE [ Normal voice .]
RIGHT.
BUTIF IT'S TOO HARD AND HE GUESSES YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
BUTIF IT'S TOO HARD AND HE GUESSES YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
GUESSES YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH.
YOU MIGHT SCREW YOURSELF.
YEAH.
YOU MIGHT SCREW YOURSELF.
[ Deep voice .]
OKAY, YOU YOU MIGHT SCREW YOURSELF.
[ Deep voice .]
OKAY, YOU READY, BUDDY? [ Deep voice .]
OKAY, YOU READY, BUDDY? BURP SOMEONE.
READY, BUDDY? BURP SOMEONE.
BURP SOMEONE.
BURP SOMEONE.
BURP SOMEONE.
[ CHUCKLES .]
BURP SOMEONE.
[ CHUCKLES .]
WELL, LET ME THINK ABOUT [ CHUCKLES .]
WELL, LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS.
WELL, LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS.
MURRAY DOESN'T LIKE THAT SORT OF THIS.
MURRAY DOESN'T LIKE THAT SORT OF HUMOR.
MURRAY DOESN'T LIKE THAT SORT OF HUMOR.
SAL CAN BURP REALLY WELL, SO HUMOR.
SAL CAN BURP REALLY WELL, SO BURPING MIGHT BE ON HIS MIND.
SAL CAN BURP REALLY WELL, SO BURPING MIGHT BE ON HIS MIND.
UHI'M GONNA GO WITH SAL.
BURPING MIGHT BE ON HIS MIND.
UHI'M GONNA GO WITH SAL.
All: OH! UHI'M GONNA GO WITH SAL.
All: OH! HAVE FUN BURPING SOMEONE, All: OH! HAVE FUN BURPING SOMEONE, BUDDY.
HAVE FUN BURPING SOMEONE, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHS .]
BUDDY.
[ LAUGHS .]
THAT WAS JOE.
[ LAUGHS .]
THAT WAS JOE.
[ Normal voice .]
SINCE HE DIDN'T THAT WAS JOE.
[ Normal voice .]
SINCE HE DIDN'T GUESS ME GUESS ME YOU ESCAPED IT.
I ESCAPED.
OH, WHAT'S GOING ON, BRO? OH, WHAT'S GOING ON, BRO? HOW ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU? YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE GASSY.
COME ON.
COME ON.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
GET IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
BURP IT OUT.
COME ON.
BURP IT OUT.
COME ON.
BURP IT OUT.
YOU PAT ME.
I PAT YOU.
YOU PAT ME.
I PAT YOU.
WE'LL BOTH BURP AT THE SAME WE'LL BOTH BURP AT THE SAME TIME.
TIME.
READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.
READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.
[ BOTH BELCH .]
[ BOTH BELCH .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE GOT IT! HE GOT IT! THERE YOU GO, BUD.
THERE YOU GO, BUD.
I'M BETTER NOW, BUDDY.
I'M BETTER NOW, BUDDY.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
NOT BAD, BUDDY, BUT THE ONLY WAY YOU COME BACK IN IS IF YOU NOT BAD, BUDDY, BUT THE ONLY WAY YOU COME BACK IN IS IF YOU GUESS ONE RIGHT.
WAY YOU COME BACK IN IS IF YOU GUESS ONE RIGHT.
RIGHT.
GUESS ONE RIGHT.
RIGHT.
YOU GOT TO GUESS WHO SAID IT.
RIGHT.
YOU GOT TO GUESS WHO SAID IT.
ALL RIGHT.
SURE.
YOU GOT TO GUESS WHO SAID IT.
ALL RIGHT.
SURE.
GIVE ME THE NEXT ONE.
ALL RIGHT.
SURE.
GIVE ME THE NEXT ONE.
[ Deep voice .]
PUT SOMEONE'S GIVE ME THE NEXT ONE.
[ Deep voice .]
PUT SOMEONE'S FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
[ Deep voice .]
PUT SOMEONE'S FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
MURRAY.
FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
MURRAY.
[ Normal voice .]
NO WAY! MURRAY.
[ Normal voice .]
NO WAY! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Normal voice .]
NO WAY! [ LAUGHTER .]
MURRAY, 'CAUSE ONLY MURRAY [ LAUGHTER .]
MURRAY, 'CAUSE ONLY MURRAY WOULD TELL US TO DO SOMETHING MURRAY, 'CAUSE ONLY MURRAY WOULD TELL US TO DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT.
WOULD TELL US TO DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT.
[ Deep voice .]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
STUPID LIKE THAT.
[ Deep voice .]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
NO! NO! [ Deep voice .]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
NO! NO! GET OUT THERE.
NO! NO! GET OUT THERE.
GET OUT THERE AND GET PEOPLE'S GET OUT THERE AND GET PEOPLE'S FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH.
HEY, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? I'M TESTING OUT A NEW MAGIC I'M TESTING OUT A NEW MAGIC TRICK.
TRICK.
CAN I TEST IT ON YOU REAL QUICK? CAN I TEST IT ON YOU REAL QUICK? IT TAKES 10 SECONDS.
IT TAKES 10 SECONDS.
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR FINGERS I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR FINGERS DISAPPEAR.
DISAPPEAR.
OKAY, SO, WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO OKAY, SO, WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO IS THIS.
IS THIS.
IT'S AN ILLUSION, OKAY? IT'S AN ILLUSION, OKAY? LIKE, AS NARROW AS YOU CAN GET.
LIKE, AS NARROW AS YOU CAN GET.
OKAY, NOW, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
OKAY, NOW, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
YOU JUST TAKE THIS, DO THIS.
YOU JUST TAKE THIS, DO THIS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THE TRICK IS VERY SIMPLE.
AND THE TRICK IS VERY SIMPLE.
YOU GO TA-DA.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DID IT.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DID IT.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HE DID IT.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
WOW! THAT'S GREAT.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
WOW! THAT'S GREAT.
[ Deep voice .]
HOW'S VICTORY WOW! THAT'S GREAT.
[ Deep voice .]
HOW'S VICTORY TASTE, BUDDY? [ Deep voice .]
HOW'S VICTORY TASTE, BUDDY? TASTES LIKE A SUBWAY.
TASTE, BUDDY? TASTES LIKE A SUBWAY.
[ SPITS .]
TASTES LIKE A SUBWAY.
[ SPITS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SPITS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW YOU'RE UP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW YOU'RE UP.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
GIVE IT TO ME.
NOW YOU'RE UP.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
GIVE IT TO ME.
[ Deep voice .]
PLAY AIR OH.
ALL RIGHT.
GIVE IT TO ME.
[ Deep voice .]
PLAY AIR GUITAR AND AIR DRUMS IN [ Deep voice .]
PLAY AIR GUITAR AND AIR DRUMS IN SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE.
GUITAR AND AIR DRUMS IN SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE.
OHH.
SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE.
OHH.
OKAY, THIS IS INTERESTING.
OHH.
OKAY, THIS IS INTERESTING.
SAL DOESN'T LIKE INVADING OKAY, THIS IS INTERESTING.
SAL DOESN'T LIKE INVADING PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE, BUT HE SAL DOESN'T LIKE INVADING PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE, BUT HE DOES LIKE SHOWMANSHIP.
PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE, BUT HE DOES LIKE SHOWMANSHIP.
[ Normal voice .]
MM.
DOES LIKE SHOWMANSHIP.
[ Normal voice .]
MM.
YOU ARE A SHOWMAN.
[ Normal voice .]
MM.
YOU ARE A SHOWMAN.
WELL, Q IS THE VIDEO-GAME YOU ARE A SHOWMAN.
WELL, Q IS THE VIDEO-GAME GUY, AND Q PLAYS THE AIR GUITAR WELL, Q IS THE VIDEO-GAME GUY, AND Q PLAYS THE AIR GUITAR AND THE AIR DRUMS.
GUY, AND Q PLAYS THE AIR GUITAR AND THE AIR DRUMS.
YOU PLAY THAT AIR-GUITAR AND THE AIR DRUMS.
YOU PLAY THAT AIR-GUITAR VIDEO GAME ALL THE TIME? YOU PLAY THAT AIR-GUITAR VIDEO GAME ALL THE TIME? CLEARLY, THE ANSWER IS SAL.
VIDEO GAME ALL THE TIME? CLEARLY, THE ANSWER IS SAL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CLEARLY, THE ANSWER IS SAL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH! YOU'RE UP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH! YOU'RE UP.
YEAH! YEAH! YOU'RE UP.
YEAH! YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
YEAH! YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
NOT CLEVER ENOUGH FOR THE OLD YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
NOT CLEVER ENOUGH FOR THE OLD MURR.
NOT CLEVER ENOUGH FOR THE OLD MURR.
THERE YOU GO.
MURR.
THERE YOU GO.
I KNEW IT.
GET OUT THERE! I KNEW IT.
GET OUT THERE! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
HE LOOKS CRAZY.
HE LOOKS CRAZY.
OH, HE'S PUTTING THE GUITAR OH, HE'S PUTTING THE GUITAR ON! ON! [ IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
[ IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
IS SHE JUST TRYING TO IGNORE IS SHE JUST TRYING TO IGNORE THE CONCERT THAT'S GOING ON? THE CONCERT THAT'S GOING ON? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE DID THE MARTY McFLY RIGHT HE DID THE MARTY McFLY RIGHT BY HER.
[ CONTINUES IMITATING GUITAR BY HER.
[ CONTINUES IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
[ CONTINUES IMITATING GUITAR NOTES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOTES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
AH! HE'S CHASING HER OFF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AH! HE'S CHASING HER OFF.
[ IMITATING WHINING GUITAR AH! HE'S CHASING HER OFF.
[ IMITATING WHINING GUITAR NOTES LOUDLY .]
[ IMITATING WHINING GUITAR NOTES LOUDLY .]
[ Deep voice .]
DRUM SOLO.
NOTES LOUDLY .]
[ Deep voice .]
DRUM SOLO.
[ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
[ Deep voice .]
DRUM SOLO.
[ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
SHE'S DANCING! [ IMITATING DRUM BEATS .]
SHE'S DANCING! SHE'S HEADBANGING.
SHE'S DANCING! SHE'S HEADBANGING.
[ VOCALIZING .]
SHE'S HEADBANGING.
[ VOCALIZING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
BEST CONCERT SHE NEVER GOT INVITED TO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ Normal voice .]
WELL DONE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ Normal voice .]
WELL DONE, SAL.
[ Normal voice .]
WELL DONE, SAL.
SAL, NICELY TOSSED.
SAL.
SAL, NICELY TOSSED.
GUYS, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NOW.
SAL, NICELY TOSSED.
GUYS, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NOW.
YOU CAN'T STOP UNTIL YOU GUYS, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH NOW.
YOU CAN'T STOP UNTIL YOU GUESS WHO'S SAYING IT, BUDDY.
YOU CAN'T STOP UNTIL YOU GUESS WHO'S SAYING IT, BUDDY.
OKAY, OKAY.
GUESS WHO'S SAYING IT, BUDDY.
OKAY, OKAY.
THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL SOMEONE OKAY, OKAY.
THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES.
THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES.
[ GRUNTS .]
LOSES.
[ GRUNTS .]
[ Deep voice .]
OH! OH! [ GRUNTS .]
[ Deep voice .]
OH! OH! KISS THIS BLONDE ON THE LIPS.
[ Deep voice .]
OH! OH! KISS THIS BLONDE ON THE LIPS.
THIS IS JOE.
KISS THIS BLONDE ON THE LIPS.
THIS IS JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
THIS IS JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
GO KISS THAT BLOND GIRL.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
GO KISS THAT BLOND GIRL.
GO KISS HER.
GO KISS THAT BLOND GIRL.
GO KISS HER.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
GO KISS HER.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW.
IT'S JOE.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW.
IT'S JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
I KNOW.
IT'S JOE.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE Q TO ME.
THIS IS JOE GATTO.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE Q TO ME.
[ Normal voice .]
NO, IT [ Normal voice .]
NO, IT DOESN'T! HE'S PUTTING MINTS IN HIS MOUTH.
MOUTH.
HE'S PUTTING MINTS IN.
HE'S PUTTING MINTS IN.
[ Deep voice .]
NOW YOU HAVE TO [ Deep voice .]
NOW YOU HAVE TO GO KISS HER, SHOW-OFF.
GO KISS HER, SHOW-OFF.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU? HEY, HOW ARE YOU? I'M GOOD.
I'M GOOD.
GOOD.
GOOD.
WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S GOING ON? UH, I'M JUST -- I WAS JUST UH, I'M JUST -- I WAS JUST HANGING OUT IN THE PARK.
HANGING OUT IN THE PARK.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
[ STAMMERING .]
[ STAMMERING .]
DO YOU COME AROUND HERE OFTEN? DO YOU COME AROUND HERE OFTEN? UH I GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
UH I GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
ALL RIGHT.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
BYE.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
BYE.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY .]
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
THIS IS HARD TO WATCH.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
I WOULD JUST KISS.
BYE.
BYE.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY .]
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY.
WE HAVE A LOSER.
[ BUZZER .]
WE HAVE A LOSER.
[ BUZZER .]
GAME OVER.
[ BUZZER .]
GAME OVER.
Narrator: SAL KISSES HIS WIN GAME OVER.
Narrator: SAL KISSES HIS WIN GOODBYE.
Narrator: SAL KISSES HIS WIN GOODBYE.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! WE QUIT.
TODAY MURR AND SAL WILL BE POSING AS EMPLOYEES AT DIFFERENT POSING AS EMPLOYEES AT DIFFERENT LOCATIONS.
LOCATIONS.
BUT NOT FOR LONG 'CAUSE WE BUT NOT FOR LONG 'CAUSE WE HAVE TO QUIT OUR JOBS IN FRONT HAVE TO QUIT OUR JOBS IN FRONT OF A TON OF PEOPLE.
OF A TON OF PEOPLE.
THE REASON THAT YOU'RE THE REASON THAT YOU'RE QUITTING WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU BY QUITTING WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU BY THE OTHER GUYS.
THE OTHER GUYS.
THE GOAL IS TO GET THE CROWD THE GOAL IS TO GET THE CROWD TO APPLAUD FOR YOU, NO MATTER TO APPLAUD FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW RIDICULOUS THE REASON.
HOW RIDICULOUS THE REASON.
IF THEY CAN'T RILE UP THE IF THEY CAN'T RILE UP THE CROWD, THEY LOSE.
CROWD, THEY LOSE.
I AM GONNA QUIT SO I AM GONNA QUIT SO FANTASTICALLY.
FANTASTICALLY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: IT'S MURR VERSUS Narrator: IT'S MURR VERSUS SAL IN A "JOKER VERSUS JOKER" SAL IN A "JOKER VERSUS JOKER" CHALLENGE.
INDISTINCT TALKING, SCANNERS BEEPING .]
BEEPING .]
DO YOU WANT THE HANGER OR? DO YOU WANT THE HANGER OR? AH, ANOTHER HARD DAY AT WORK.
AH, ANOTHER HARD DAY AT WORK.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, MAN.
YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, MAN.
YOU WANT TO GET OUT AND FOLLOW YOU WANT TO GET OUT AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.
YOUR DREAMS.
ALL RIGHT, SAL.
ALL RIGHT, SAL.
IT'S TIME TO GET OUT.
IT'S TIME TO GET OUT.
GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION AND LET GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION AND LET THEM KNOW WHY YOU'RE QUITTING.
REMEMBER -- YOU HAVE TO GET THEM THEM KNOW WHY YOU'RE QUITTING.
REMEMBER -- YOU HAVE TO GET THEM TO APPLAUD.
REMEMBER -- YOU HAVE TO GET THEM TO APPLAUD.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND TO APPLAUD.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
COULD I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, GENTLEMEN.
COULD I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? COULD I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? OH! IT GOT QUIET! PLEASE? OH! IT GOT QUIET! WOW.
OH! IT GOT QUIET! WOW.
I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW WOW.
I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM QUITTING I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM QUITTING WHY ARE YOU QUITTING? THAT I AM QUITTING WHY ARE YOU QUITTING? 'CAUSE YOUR FATHER FORCED YOU WHY ARE YOU QUITTING? 'CAUSE YOUR FATHER FORCED YOU INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT 'CAUSE YOUR FATHER FORCED YOU INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
BECAUSE IT WAS MY DAD WHO RETAIL.
BECAUSE IT WAS MY DAD WHO PRESSURED ME INTO THE FIELD OF BECAUSE IT WAS MY DAD WHO PRESSURED ME INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
PRESSURED ME INTO THE FIELD OF DISCOUNT RETAIL.
AND YOU ARE BREAKING FREE TO DISCOUNT RETAIL.
AND YOU ARE BREAKING FREE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! AND YOU ARE BREAKING FREE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! YES! FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! YES! [ LAUGHS .]
YES! [ LAUGHS .]
AND I'M LEAVING TO FINALLY [ LAUGHS .]
AND I'M LEAVING TO FINALLY FOLLOW MY OWN DREAMS, IS ALL I'M AND I'M LEAVING TO FINALLY FOLLOW MY OWN DREAMS, IS ALL I'M SAYING.
FOLLOW MY OWN DREAMS, IS ALL I'M SAYING.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT OUT SAYING.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LOUD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE THESE DREAMS? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE THESE DREAMS? I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT.
WHAT ARE THESE DREAMS? I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT.
MY DREAMS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT.
MY DREAMS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO FOLLOWING JAMIROQUAI MY DREAMS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO FOLLOWING JAMIROQUAI AROUND THE WORLD LIMITED TO FOLLOWING JAMIROQUAI AROUND THE WORLD [ LAUGHTER .]
AROUND THE WORLD [ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S JAMIROQUAI? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S JAMIROQUAI? HE'S A SINGER.
WHO'S JAMIROQUAI? HE'S A SINGER.
A BELOVED '90s POP ICON.
HE'S A SINGER.
A BELOVED '90s POP ICON.
OH.
A BELOVED '90s POP ICON.
OH.
'CAUSE I'M A HUGE FAN.
OH.
'CAUSE I'M A HUGE FAN.
HE'S GOT THE HAT.
'CAUSE I'M A HUGE FAN.
HE'S GOT THE HAT.
HE'S GOT "VIRTUAL INSANITY.
" HE'S GOT THE HAT.
HE'S GOT "VIRTUAL INSANITY.
" HE'S GOT THE OTHER HITS.
HE'S GOT "VIRTUAL INSANITY.
" HE'S GOT THE OTHER HITS.
SAL, IS JAMIROQUAI YOUR ONLY HE'S GOT THE OTHER HITS.
SAL, IS JAMIROQUAI YOUR ONLY DREAM? SAL, IS JAMIROQUAI YOUR ONLY DREAM? DREAM BIGGER, BUDDY.
DREAM? DREAM BIGGER, BUDDY.
THE OTHER THING I'M GONNA DREAM BIGGER, BUDDY.
THE OTHER THING I'M GONNA DO -- AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO THE OTHER THING I'M GONNA DO -- AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT -- IS BLOG ABOUT FRUIT.
DO -- AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT -- IS BLOG ABOUT FRUIT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DO IT -- IS BLOG ABOUT FRUIT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I THINK FRUIT IS DELICIOUS [ LAUGHTER .]
I THINK FRUIT IS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS, AND I WANT TO I THINK FRUIT IS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS, AND I WANT TO GET THE WORD OUT.
AND NUTRITIOUS, AND I WANT TO GET THE WORD OUT.
BANANAS, APPLES, ORANGES.
GET THE WORD OUT.
BANANAS, APPLES, ORANGES.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE BANANAS, APPLES, ORANGES.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PLUMS.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PLUMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! PLUMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! [ LAUGHTER .]
WHY CAN'T YOU WORK HERE AND [ LAUGHTER .]
WHY CAN'T YOU WORK HERE AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT? WHY CAN'T YOU WORK HERE AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT? I'M NOT SURE.
BLOG ABOUT FRUIT? I'M NOT SURE.
IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ONE LIFE.
I'M NOT SURE.
IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ONE LIFE.
ALSO, SHANDRA IN TEXTILES CAN IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ONE LIFE.
ALSO, SHANDRA IN TEXTILES CAN BE A REAL "B" WHEN SHE WANTS TO, ALSO, SHANDRA IN TEXTILES CAN BE A REAL "B" WHEN SHE WANTS TO, AND I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH BE A REAL "B" WHEN SHE WANTS TO, AND I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THAT.
AND I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, I JUST ASK YOU TO SUPPORT ME [ LAUGHTER .]
SO, I JUST ASK YOU TO SUPPORT ME IN MY DECISION TO FOLLOW MY SO, I JUST ASK YOU TO SUPPORT ME IN MY DECISION TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS, FOR ANY OF YOU WHO HAVE IN MY DECISION TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS, FOR ANY OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRESSURED BY YOUR PARENTS DREAMS, FOR ANY OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRESSURED BY YOUR PARENTS INTO DISCOUNT RETAIL BEEN PRESSURED BY YOUR PARENTS INTO DISCOUNT RETAIL [ LAUGHTER .]
INTO DISCOUNT RETAIL [ LAUGHTER .]
TO JOIN ME AND STICK UP FOR [ LAUGHTER .]
TO JOIN ME AND STICK UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND FOLLOW TO JOIN ME AND STICK UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.
WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.
THANK YOU, EVERYONE.
YOUR DREAMS.
THANK YOU, EVERYONE.
ALL RIGHT! OKAY! THANK YOU, EVERYONE.
ALL RIGHT! OKAY! [ APPLAUSE .]
ALL RIGHT! OKAY! [ APPLAUSE .]
OH! [ APPLAUSE .]
OH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! OH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'M QUITTING TO FOLLOW THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'M QUITTING TO FOLLOW JAMIROQUAI AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT! I'M QUITTING TO FOLLOW JAMIROQUAI AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT! ALL RIGHT! JAMIROQUAI AND BLOG ABOUT FRUIT! ALL RIGHT! HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT! HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD IT.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD IT.
I QUIT.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD IT.
I QUIT.
[ DING .]
I QUIT.
[ DING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HI, EVERYONE.
HOW ARE YOU? COME ON DOWN, GUYS.
COME ON DOWN, GUYS.
WELL, MURR WORKS HERE IN THE WELL, MURR WORKS HERE IN THE ZOO BUT NOT FOR LONG.
ZOO BUT NOT FOR LONG.
SAL QUIT HIS JOB.
SAL QUIT HIS JOB.
NOW MURR'S UP.
NOW MURR'S UP.
MY NAME IS JAMES.
MY NAME IS JAMES.
I'M A ZOOKEEPER.
I'M A ZOOKEEPER.
WHAT THIS CROWD DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THIS CROWD DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT MURRAY CANNOT TAKE THIS IS THAT MURRAY CANNOT TAKE THIS JOB ANYMORE, AND HE IS ABOUT TO JOB ANYMORE, AND HE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A BREAKDOWN.
HAVE A BREAKDOWN.
[ PENGUIN SQUAWKING .]
[ PENGUIN SQUAWKING .]
AND YOU'VE SEEN THESE GUYS ALREADY, RIGHT? AND YOU'VE SEEN THESE GUYS ALREADY, RIGHT? ANYBODY KNOW HOW FAST THEY CAN ALREADY, RIGHT? ANYBODY KNOW HOW FAST THEY CAN SWIM UNDERWATER? ANYBODY KNOW HOW FAST THEY CAN SWIM UNDERWATER? YOU KNOW WHAT? SWIM UNDERWATER? YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, GUYS.
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, GUYS.
II CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, GUYS.
II CAN'T DO THIS.
I QUIT II CAN'T DO THIS.
I QUIT IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THIS I QUIT IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THIS PENGUIN DRAMA.
IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THIS PENGUIN DRAMA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PENGUIN DRAMA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BECAUSE OF ALL THE PENGUIN [ LAUGHTER .]
BECAUSE OF ALL THE PENGUIN DRAMA.
BECAUSE OF ALL THE PENGUIN DRAMA.
THE REST IS ALL YOU, BUDDY.
DRAMA.
THE REST IS ALL YOU, BUDDY.
GOOD LUCK.
THE REST IS ALL YOU, BUDDY.
GOOD LUCK.
[ GROANS .]
GOOD LUCK.
[ GROANS .]
I'LL TELL YOU -- IT'S HARD [ GROANS .]
I'LL TELL YOU -- IT'S HARD WORKING HERE.
I'LL TELL YOU -- IT'S HARD WORKING HERE.
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR YEARS WORKING HERE.
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR YEARS NOW WORKING IN THIS ZOO, AND THE I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR YEARS NOW WORKING IN THIS ZOO, AND THE PENGUIN DRAMA IS JUST REALLY NOW WORKING IN THIS ZOO, AND THE PENGUIN DRAMA IS JUST REALLY HARD.
PENGUIN DRAMA IS JUST REALLY HARD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HARD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS NOT [ LAUGHTER .]
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE! EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE! SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR PENGUIN BLACK AND WHITE! SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR PENGUIN MAMA! SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR PENGUIN MAMA! HE EXPECTS TO WIN THE CROWD MAMA! HE EXPECTS TO WIN THE CROWD OVER BY BERATING CUTE LITTLE HE EXPECTS TO WIN THE CROWD OVER BY BERATING CUTE LITTLE ANIMALS? OVER BY BERATING CUTE LITTLE ANIMALS? HE'S GOING THE COMPLETE WRONG ANIMALS? HE'S GOING THE COMPLETE WRONG DIRECTION.
HE'S GOING THE COMPLETE WRONG DIRECTION.
THIS ONE POOPED IN MY SHOE ON DIRECTION.
THIS ONE POOPED IN MY SHOE ON PURPOSE LAST WEEK.
THIS ONE POOPED IN MY SHOE ON PURPOSE LAST WEEK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE HAD IT, AND I QUIT! WHO'S HAD ENOUGH OF THE PENGUIN DRAMA? DRAMA? WHO'S WITH ME? WHO'S WITH ME? NO ONE? NO ONE? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO, LITTLE GIRL.
NO, LITTLE GIRL.
THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER I WAS THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER I WAS HOPING FOR.
HOPING FOR.
I'M STANDING HERE AS A I'M STANDING HERE AS A ZOOKEEPER, SAYING, "WHO'S WITH ZOOKEEPER, SAYING, "WHO'S WITH ME QUITTING TODAY?" ME QUITTING TODAY?" WHO?! WHO?! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THAT THIS PENGUIN DRAMA IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THAT THIS PENGUIN DRAMA GOES ON AND ON AND ON.
REASON THAT THIS PENGUIN DRAMA GOES ON AND ON AND ON.
I'M FEEDING THEM FISH.
GOES ON AND ON AND ON.
I'M FEEDING THEM FISH.
YOU'RE FEEDING THEIR EGOS! I'M FEEDING THEM FISH.
YOU'RE FEEDING THEIR EGOS! HE'S NOW BERATING THEM.
YOU'RE FEEDING THEIR EGOS! HE'S NOW BERATING THEM.
THE WHOLE GOAL IS TO GET THEM TO HE'S NOW BERATING THEM.
THE WHOLE GOAL IS TO GET THEM TO CHEER WITH HIM.
THE WHOLE GOAL IS TO GET THEM TO CHEER WITH HIM.
COME ON.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
CHEER WITH HIM.
COME ON.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
MY FRIEND, YOU PLAYED THAT COME ON.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
MY FRIEND, YOU PLAYED THAT HORRIBLY WRONG.
HORRIBLY WRONG.
THAT DIDN'T WORK AT ALL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT DIDN'T WORK AT ALL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ BUZZER .]
Narrator: MURR'S NOT A GOOD [ BUZZER .]
Narrator: MURR'S NOT A GOOD QUITTER, BUT HE IS A GOOD LOSER.
COMING UP, WHAT'S GOT TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE? BIG LOSER RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE? [ SCREAMING .]
[BLEEP.]
TODAY WE'RE TEAMING UP TO DROP SOME PREHISTORIC KNOWLEDGE, DROP SOME PREHISTORIC KNOWLEDGE, GIVING LECTURES AS DINOSAUR GIVING LECTURES AS DINOSAUR EXPERTS.
EXPERTS.
IT'S TEAM INDIANA VERSUS IT'S TEAM INDIANA VERSUS TEAM "JURASSIC PARK.
" TEAM "JURASSIC PARK.
" BUT HERE'S THE THING -- WE BUT HERE'S THE THING -- WE DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT DINOSAURS, DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT DINOSAURS, AND OUR PRESENTATIONS HAVE BEEN AND OUR PRESENTATIONS HAVE BEEN MADE BY THE OTHER TEAM.
MADE BY THE OTHER TEAM.
AT THE END, WE'LL ASK THE AT THE END, WE'LL ASK THE AUDIENCE TO RAISE THEIR HANDS IF AUDIENCE TO RAISE THEIR HANDS IF THEY'D LIKE TO TAKE ANOTHER THEY'D LIKE TO TAKE ANOTHER CLASS WITH US.
CLASS WITH US.
WHICHEVER TEAM GETS THE WHICHEVER TEAM GETS THE FEWEST HANDS RAISED IS EXTINCT.
FEWEST HANDS RAISED IS EXTINCT.
[ GROANS .]
SNAKES! [ GROANS .]
SNAKES! WE HATE SNAKES! WHY ARE YOU LIMPING? I MEAN, I GOT A WALKING I MEAN, I GOT A WALKING STICK.
STICK.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? YOU LOOK LIKE AN ECCENTRIC YOU LOOK LIKE AN ECCENTRIC BILLIONAIRE WHO OWNS HIS OWN BILLIONAIRE WHO OWNS HIS OWN ISLAND.
ISLAND.
[ Deep voice .]
WELCOME TO STATEN ISLAND.
[ Deep voice .]
WELCOME TO STATEN ISLAND.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
STATEN ISLAND.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU? HI.
WELCOME.
HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU? HI.
WELCOME.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
HI.
WELCOME.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING.
HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING.
WE ARE HERE TO GIVE A LITTLE THANK YOU FOR JOINING.
WE ARE HERE TO GIVE A LITTLE PRESENTATION ON DINOSAURS.
WE ARE HERE TO GIVE A LITTLE PRESENTATION ON DINOSAURS.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STARTED, PRESENTATION ON DINOSAURS.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STARTED, THEN.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STARTED, THEN.
SO, "DINOSAURS: ANCIENT HISTORY THEN.
SO, "DINOSAURS: ANCIENT HISTORY AND CUTTING-EDGE SCIENCE.
" SO, "DINOSAURS: ANCIENT HISTORY AND CUTTING-EDGE SCIENCE.
" WE'RE GONNA START AT THE AND CUTTING-EDGE SCIENCE.
" WE'RE GONNA START AT THE BEGINNING AND BUILD UP FROM WE'RE GONNA START AT THE BEGINNING AND BUILD UP FROM THERE.
BEGINNING AND BUILD UP FROM THERE.
"EVOLUTIONARY CHART.
" THERE.
"EVOLUTIONARY CHART.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
"EVOLUTIONARY CHART.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
APPARENTLY, I CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO HUMAN.
APPARENTLY, I CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO HUMAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
TO HUMAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
YOU'LL GET THERE ONE DAY.
YOU'LL GET THERE ONE DAY.
WE ALL HAVE OUR DOWNFALLS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE ALL HAVE OUR DOWNFALLS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MOVING ON.
[ LAUGHTER .]
"WANG" "WANG LENGTH BY DINOSAUR.
" "WANG" "WANG LENGTH BY DINOSAUR.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
"WANG LENGTH BY DINOSAUR.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
WE TRAVEL AROUND TO ALL [ LAUGHTER .]
WE TRAVEL AROUND TO ALL DIFFERENT ZOOS, MUSEUMS, AND WE WE TRAVEL AROUND TO ALL DIFFERENT ZOOS, MUSEUMS, AND WE GET QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DIFFERENT ZOOS, MUSEUMS, AND WE GET QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, "DINOSAURS WERE HUGE.
" GET QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, "DINOSAURS WERE HUGE.
" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "DINOSAURS WERE HUGE.
" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" THE STEGOSAURUS IS JUST "HOW BIG WERE THEIR WANGS?" THE STEGOSAURUS IS JUST EMBARRASSING.
THE STEGOSAURUS IS JUST EMBARRASSING.
RIGHT.
EMBARRASSING.
RIGHT.
BIG BRAIN.
LITTLE WANG.
RIGHT.
BIG BRAIN.
LITTLE WANG.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
WE ALL WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL.
WE ALL HAD -- YOU KNOW, YOU GO WE ALL WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL.
WE ALL HAD -- YOU KNOW, YOU GO OUT ON A DATE.
WE ALL HAD -- YOU KNOW, YOU GO OUT ON A DATE.
YOU GOING ON FIRST BASE.
YOU GOING ON FIRST BASE.
FIRST BASE IS UP TOP -- HERE.
RIGHT.
EVERYTHING THAT'S ABOVE.
EVERYTHING THAT'S ABOVE.
SECOND BASE, WE'RE LOOKING AT SECOND BASE, WE'RE LOOKING AT THOSE.
THOSE.
THE T-REX COULDN'T GET TO SECOND THE T-REX COULDN'T GET TO SECOND BECAUSE BECAUSE HOW YOU GONNA GET THEM HOW YOU GONNA GET THEM TA-TAS? TA-TAS? EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME.
YES, DEAR.
WHOA! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
WOW.
WOW.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
I FEEL VERY WEIRD NOW.
I FEEL VERY WEIRD NOW.
SO, THAT IS OUR PRESENTATION SO, THAT IS OUR PRESENTATION TODAY.
OKAY, NOW LET ME JUST ASK HOW TODAY.
OKAY, NOW LET ME JUST ASK HOW MANY -- BY A SHOW OF HANDS -- OKAY, NOW LET ME JUST ASK HOW MANY -- BY A SHOW OF HANDS -- WOULD TAKE A FOLLOW-UP CLASS MANY -- BY A SHOW OF HANDS -- WOULD TAKE A FOLLOW-UP CLASS WITH US? WOULD TAKE A FOLLOW-UP CLASS WITH US? [ LAUGHTER .]
WITH US? [ LAUGHTER .]
ONE, TWO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ONE, TWO.
NOT EVEN HALF.
ONE, TWO.
NOT EVEN HALF.
WE'RE GOING TO CRUISE CONTROL NOT EVEN HALF.
WE'RE GOING TO CRUISE CONTROL ON THIS ONE.
WE'RE GOING TO CRUISE CONTROL ON THIS ONE.
WE SPARED NO EXPENSE.
WE SPARED NO EXPENSE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LET'S DO IT, INDIANA.
OH, THERE YOU GO.
OH, THERE YOU GO.
TWO DR.
JONESES RIGHT THERE.
TWO DR.
JONESES RIGHT THERE.
SORRY IF I'M OUT OF BREATH, SORRY IF I'M OUT OF BREATH, GUYS.
GUYS.
I JUST RAN FROM A BOULDER.
I JUST RAN FROM A BOULDER.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
HI, FOLKS.
HOW ARE YOU? HI, FOLKS.
HOW ARE YOU? COME ON IN.
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN.
HAVE A SEAT.
COME ON IN.
HAVE A SEAT.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE YOU WE'RE GOING TO TAKE YOU THROUGH A PRESENTATION -- FACTS THROUGH A PRESENTATION -- FACTS THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT DINOSAURS.
ABOUT DINOSAURS.
HERE WE GO.
HERE WE GO.
OKAY.
OKAY.
"NEW DINOSAUR SPECIES ARE STILL "NEW DINOSAUR SPECIES ARE STILL BEING DISCOVERED TODAY.
" THEY ESTIMATE THERE MAY BE AS BEING DISCOVERED TODAY.
" THEY ESTIMATE THERE MAY BE AS MUCH AS 1,000 MORE SPECIES STILL THEY ESTIMATE THERE MAY BE AS MUCH AS 1,000 MORE SPECIES STILL UNDISCOVERED.
MUCH AS 1,000 MORE SPECIES STILL UNDISCOVERED.
NEXT SLIDE.
UNDISCOVERED.
NEXT SLIDE.
CUTE DINOSAUR JOKES THAT I NEXT SLIDE.
CUTE DINOSAUR JOKES THAT I WROTE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SNAPS FINGERS .]
UH [ SNAPS FINGERS .]
UH THIS WOMAN'S FALLING ASLEEP.
UH THIS WOMAN'S FALLING ASLEEP.
THIS WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP.
THIS WOMAN'S FALLING ASLEEP.
THIS WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP.
THE WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP! THIS WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP.
THE WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! THE WOMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! [ LAUGHS .]
SHE'S ASLEEP! SHE'S ASLEEP! [ LAUGHS .]
I DINO-BORED HER TO SLEEP.
[ LAUGHS .]
I DINO-BORED HER TO SLEEP.
[ LAUGHING .]
I DINO-BORED HER TO SLEEP.
[ LAUGHING .]
SHE'S SLEEPING! FASCINATING, RIGHT? THAT WAS ACTUALLY ITS MATING THAT WAS ACTUALLY ITS MATING RITUAL.
RITUAL.
FIND OUT WHERE THIS IS GOING.
FIND OUT WHERE THIS IS GOING.
THERE.
YEAH.
THERE.
YEAH.
OF COURSE, WE WILL SHOW YOU THE OF COURSE, WE WILL SHOW YOU THE DANCE.
DANCE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS ACTUALLY HOW THESE TWO IDIOTS PICK UP GIRLS IN BARS.
TWO IDIOTS PICK UP GIRLS IN BARS.
[ SCREECHES .]
BARS.
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ SCREECHES .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
SHE JUST WOKE UP.
OKAY, AND THEN BY A SHOW OF HANDS, HOW MANY BY A SHOW OF HANDS, HOW MANY OF YOU THINK YOU WOULD TAKE ANOTHER CLASS WITH US? OF YOU THINK YOU WOULD TAKE ANOTHER CLASS WITH US? THREE.
ANOTHER CLASS WITH US? THREE.
THREE! OHH! THREE.
THREE! OHH! OKAY.
THREE! OHH! OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M IMPRESSED.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M IMPRESSED.
Narrator: Q AND SAL GOT I'M IMPRESSED.
Narrator: Q AND SAL GOT FOSSILIZED, MAKING SAL TONIGHT'S Narrator: Q AND SAL GOT FOSSILIZED, MAKING SAL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
FOSSILIZED, MAKING SAL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIG LOSER.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CORNFIELD, AND, SAL, FOR YOUR WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CORNFIELD, AND, SAL, FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO CORNFIELD, AND, SAL, FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE PUNISHMENT, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE CORNFIELD TO THE OTHER.
IS GET FROM ONE SIDE OF THE CORNFIELD TO THE OTHER.
THE ONLY RULES ARE YOU'VE GOT CORNFIELD TO THE OTHER.
THE ONLY RULES ARE YOU'VE GOT TO HANG ON TO THAT GUIDE ROPE.
THE ONLY RULES ARE YOU'VE GOT TO HANG ON TO THAT GUIDE ROPE.
GUYS, I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, TO HANG ON TO THAT GUIDE ROPE.
GUYS, I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, IF IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE [BLEEP.]
GUYS, I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, IF IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE [BLEEP.]
IS GONNA GO DOWN BECAUSE I'M IF IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE [BLEEP.]
IS GONNA GO DOWN BECAUSE I'M GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE.
IS GONNA GO DOWN BECAUSE I'M GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE.
I DON'T TAKE HAUNTS WELL.
GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE.
I DON'T TAKE HAUNTS WELL.
LOOK OUT! I DON'T TAKE HAUNTS WELL.
LOOK OUT! [ SHRIEKS .]
LOOK OUT! [ SHRIEKS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SHRIEKS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
IF THERE'S ONE THING SAL [ LAUGHTER .]
IF THERE'S ONE THING SAL HATES MORE THAN GERMS AND CATS, IF THERE'S ONE THING SAL HATES MORE THAN GERMS AND CATS, IT'S HAUNTED HOUSES, GHOULS.
HATES MORE THAN GERMS AND CATS, IT'S HAUNTED HOUSES, GHOULS.
GETTING SCARED IS LIKE HIS IT'S HAUNTED HOUSES, GHOULS.
GETTING SCARED IS LIKE HIS WORST FEAR.
GETTING SCARED IS LIKE HIS WORST FEAR.
I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW -- WORST FEAR.
I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW -- IF THERE'S MONSTERS IN THERE I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW -- IF THERE'S MONSTERS IN THERE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD.
IF THERE'S MONSTERS IN THERE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD.
EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT REAL YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD.
EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT REAL MONSTERS AND THEY JUST TICKLE EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT REAL MONSTERS AND THEY JUST TICKLE YOU INSTEAD, I'M TICKLISH, TOO.
MONSTERS AND THEY JUST TICKLE YOU INSTEAD, I'M TICKLISH, TOO.
I'LL STILL PUNCH IF I'M GETTING YOU INSTEAD, I'M TICKLISH, TOO.
I'LL STILL PUNCH IF I'M GETTING TICKLED.
I'LL STILL PUNCH IF I'M GETTING TICKLED.
THERE'S TICKLE MONSTERS IN TICKLED.
THERE'S TICKLE MONSTERS IN THE CORNFIELD.
THERE'S TICKLE MONSTERS IN THE CORNFIELD.
BUSTED.
WE'RE BUSTED.
THE CORNFIELD.
BUSTED.
WE'RE BUSTED.
GRAB THE [BLEEP.]
ROPE! BUSTED.
WE'RE BUSTED.
GRAB THE [BLEEP.]
ROPE! IF SOMEONE COMES AT ME -- GRAB THE [BLEEP.]
ROPE! IF SOMEONE COMES AT ME -- THIS IS EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT? IF SOMEONE COMES AT ME -- THIS IS EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT? YES.
THIS IS EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT? YES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HAND ON THE ROPE! [ LAUGHTER .]
HAND ON THE ROPE! HAND ON THE ROPE AND GET HAND ON THE ROPE! HAND ON THE ROPE AND GET WALKING! HAND ON THE ROPE AND GET WALKING! IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M WALKING! IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO [ LAUGHS .]
IF ANYBODY COMES OUT, I'M LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL LIABLE TO PUNCH YOU, AND I KNOW THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO THERE'S NOT SUCH A THING AS REAL MONSTERS, SO [ LAUGHS .]
MONSTERS, SO [ LAUGHS .]
LAUGH IT UP, MURRAY, YOU [ LAUGHS .]
LAUGH IT UP, MURRAY, YOU IDIOT.
LAUGH IT UP, MURRAY, YOU IDIOT.
[ LAUGHS .]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHS .]
IF YOU'RE GONNA JUMP OUT, BE [ LAUGHS .]
IF YOU'RE GONNA JUMP OUT, BE PREPARED FOR A FIGHT.
IF YOU'RE GONNA JUMP OUT, BE PREPARED FOR A FIGHT.
WE PURPOSEFULLY DIDN'T PUT PREPARED FOR A FIGHT.
WE PURPOSEFULLY DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING IN THE FIRST TWISTS AND WE PURPOSEFULLY DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING IN THE FIRST TWISTS AND TURNS.
ANYTHING IN THE FIRST TWISTS AND TURNS.
DOES ANYBODY LOOK UP -- WHAT TURNS.
DOES ANYBODY LOOK UP -- WHAT ABOUT THE TICKS IN HERE? DOES ANYBODY LOOK UP -- WHAT ABOUT THE TICKS IN HERE? TICKS IN A CORNFIELD? ABOUT THE TICKS IN HERE? TICKS IN A CORNFIELD? NAH.
NO.
TICKS IN A CORNFIELD? NAH.
NO.
THEY GOT BEDBUGS.
NAH.
NO.
THEY GOT BEDBUGS.
AAH! THEY GOT BEDBUGS.
AAH! OH, MY GOD.
AAH! OH, MY GOD.
WHAT'D YOU SCREAM AT? OH, MY GOD.
WHAT'D YOU SCREAM AT? THE [BLEEP.]
CORN KEEPS WHAT'D YOU SCREAM AT? THE [BLEEP.]
CORN KEEPS HITTING ME IN THE HEAD.
THE [BLEEP.]
CORN KEEPS HITTING ME IN THE HEAD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HITTING ME IN THE HEAD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.
OHMYGOD! THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
STARING AT ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE DRESS [ LAUGHTER .]
WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE DRESS STARING AT ME?! WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE DRESS STARING AT ME?! WHAT GIRL IN A DRESS? STARING AT ME?! WHAT GIRL IN A DRESS? THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A WHAT GIRL IN A DRESS? THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL IN A DRESS STARING AT ME.
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRESS STARING AT ME.
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, BUDDY.
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, BUDDY.
WELL, SHE'S THERE! THERE, BUDDY.
WELL, SHE'S THERE! IS SHE A GHOST?! WELL, SHE'S THERE! IS SHE A GHOST?! [ LAUGHTER .]
IS SHE A GHOST?! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU LIED! IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU LIED! IT'S A HAUNTED MAZE! GUYS, GUYS, I'M NOT WALKING GUYS, GUYS, I'M NOT WALKING TOWARD THAT LITTLE GIRL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TOWARD THAT LITTLE GIRL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! GO! FOLLOW THE ROPE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! GO! FOLLOW THE ROPE.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
GO! FOLLOW THE ROPE.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HOLY [BLEEP.]
DUDE, I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! HOLY [BLEEP.]
DUDE, I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! DID YOU PASS HER YET? DUDE, I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! DID YOU PASS HER YET? NO, I'M STARING AT HER! DID YOU PASS HER YET? NO, I'M STARING AT HER! DON'T STARE AT HER.
NO, I'M STARING AT HER! DON'T STARE AT HER.
THAT GETS HER ANGRY.
DON'T STARE AT HER.
THAT GETS HER ANGRY.
GUYS, I'M NOT -- OHH! THAT GETS HER ANGRY.
GUYS, I'M NOT -- OHH! SHE'S TELLING ME TO COME TO HER! GUYS, I'M NOT -- OHH! SHE'S TELLING ME TO COME TO HER! [ LAUGHTER .]
SHE'S TELLING ME TO COME TO HER! [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU KNOW WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST GET IT OUT IN THE YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN.
LET'S JUST GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN.
YOU SEE, LITTLE GIRL, I WILL NOT OPEN.
YOU SEE, LITTLE GIRL, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU! YOU SEE, LITTLE GIRL, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ Whining .]
I CAN'T GO NEAR HER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ Whining .]
I CAN'T GO NEAR HER.
[ GROANING, SHRIEKING .]
[ Whining .]
I CAN'T GO NEAR HER.
[ GROANING, SHRIEKING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ GROANING, SHRIEKING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
YOU NEED TO GO FIND AN ADULT.
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
YOU NEED TO GO FIND AN ADULT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU NEED TO GO FIND AN ADULT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I KNOW I'M GONNA LOOK SO STUPID [ LAUGHTER .]
I KNOW I'M GONNA LOOK SO STUPID ON THIS CAMERA.
I KNOW I'M GONNA LOOK SO STUPID ON THIS CAMERA.
YEAH.
ON THIS CAMERA.
YEAH.
I GET IT.
YEAH.
I GET IT.
MY FACE IS GONNA BE LIKE A BIG I GET IT.
MY FACE IS GONNA BE LIKE A BIG FISHBOWL RIGHT IN THE CAMERA MY FACE IS GONNA BE LIKE A BIG FISHBOWL RIGHT IN THE CAMERA LIKE, "OHH, AAH!" FISHBOWL RIGHT IN THE CAMERA LIKE, "OHH, AAH!" AND I'M GONNA RUN, AND LIKE, "OHH, AAH!" AND I'M GONNA RUN, AND EVERYONE'S GONNA MOCK ME.
AND I'M GONNA RUN, AND EVERYONE'S GONNA MOCK ME.
[ AIR HORN HONKS .]
EVERYONE'S GONNA MOCK ME.
[ AIR HORN HONKS .]
[ SCREAMS .]
[ AIR HORN HONKS .]
[ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
[ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
OH, MY GOD! YOU [BLEEP.]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
A [BLEEP.]
AIR HORN BLEW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
A [BLEEP.]
AIR HORN BLEW.
I FELL ON MY FACE.
A [BLEEP.]
AIR HORN BLEW.
I FELL ON MY FACE.
HEY, SAL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN I FELL ON MY FACE.
HEY, SAL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY BIRDS IN THERE OR ANYTHING, HEY, SAL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY BIRDS IN THERE OR ANYTHING, RIGHT? ANY BIRDS IN THERE OR ANYTHING, RIGHT? NO.
RIGHT? NO.
SO, ALL RIGHT.
NO.
SO, ALL RIGHT.
SO, SOMETHING'S KEEPING THOSE SO, ALL RIGHT.
SO, SOMETHING'S KEEPING THOSE BIRDS AWAY, I GUESS.
SO, SOMETHING'S KEEPING THOSE BIRDS AWAY, I GUESS.
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
THANKS.
BIRDS AWAY, I GUESS.
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
THANKS.
[ Groaning .]
OHH.
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
THANKS.
[ Groaning .]
OHH.
WHAT IS IT? [ Groaning .]
OHH.
WHAT IS IT? IT'S A DAMN SCARECROW! WHAT IS IT? IT'S A DAMN SCARECROW! OH, THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO IT'S A DAMN SCARECROW! OH, THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO BIRDS.
OH, THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO BIRDS.
IT'S GONNA JUMP RIGHT ON ME.
BIRDS.
IT'S GONNA JUMP RIGHT ON ME.
[ GROANS .]
IT'S GONNA JUMP RIGHT ON ME.
[ GROANS .]
OH, MAN.
[ GROANS .]
OH, MAN.
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
OH, MAN.
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ Whining .]
I DON'T WANT TO PASS I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ Whining .]
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ Whining .]
I DON'T WANT TO PASS IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I AM NOT WALKING PAST THAT [ LAUGHTER .]
I AM NOT WALKING PAST THAT THING.
I AM NOT WALKING PAST THAT THING.
THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN, MAN! THING.
THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN, MAN! [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN, MAN! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL TAKE A SWING AT YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL TAKE A SWING AT YOU! OH, THIS IS THE WORST -- I WILL TAKE A SWING AT YOU! OH, THIS IS THE WORST -- [ SCREAMS .]
OH, THIS IS THE WORST -- [ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
SON OF A BITCH! [ SCREAMS .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
SON OF A BITCH! YOU SON OF A BITCH.
YOU [BLEEP.]
SON OF A BITCH! YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU ASS[BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU ASS[BLEEP.]
OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD! YOU ASS[BLEEP.]
OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! [ FLIES BUZZING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ FLIES BUZZING .]
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
IS THAT?! [ FLIES BUZZING .]
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
IS THAT?! THAT'S NOT [BLEEP.]
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
IS THAT?! THAT'S NOT [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S NOT [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
ENOUGH! [ LAUGHTER .]
ENOUGH! IT'S NOT A SAL PUNISHMENT ENOUGH! IT'S NOT A SAL PUNISHMENT WITHOUT HEAPING PILES OF [BLEEP.]
IT'S NOT A SAL PUNISHMENT WITHOUT HEAPING PILES OF [BLEEP.]
IT'S JUST NOT.
WITHOUT HEAPING PILES OF [BLEEP.]
IT'S JUST NOT.
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
IT'S JUST NOT.
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
THIS [BLEEP.]
IS ALL OVER ME.
I'M SINKING IN THE [BLEEP.]
THIS [BLEEP.]
IS ALL OVER ME.
OH, GOD.
THIS [BLEEP.]
IS ALL OVER ME.
OH, GOD.
I'M GONNA THROW UP.
OH, GOD.
I'M GONNA THROW UP.
I SMELL LIKE [BLEEP.]
I'M GONNA THROW UP.
I SMELL LIKE [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!HAT MEAN? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
YOU DID IT.
YOU DID IT.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
YOU GOT TO THE END.
NOW YOU JUST GOT TO FIGURE OUT THE WAY OUT.
THE WAY OUT.
[ CROW CAWING .]
[ CROW CAWING .]
GUYS, ARE YOU SERIOUS? YEAH.
ARE YOU SERIOUS? YEP.
YEP.
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THAT'S IT, BUD.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO RUN I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO RUN IN ONE DIRECTION HERE.
IN ONE DIRECTION HERE.
SAL WANTS TO RUN OUT OF THE SAL WANTS TO RUN OUT OF THE CORNFIELD.
CORNFIELD.
I BET YOU WE CAN FIND A WAY TO I BET YOU WE CAN FIND A WAY TO MAKE HIM RUN.
MAKE HIM RUN.
[ SCREAMING .]
[ SCREAMING .]
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GET HURT! I'M GONNA GET HURT! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SCREAMS .]
[ SCREAMS .]
AAH! OH [BLEEP.]
AAH! OH [BLEEP.]
[ SHRIEKING, WHIMPERING .]