Impractical Jokers (2017) s03e10 Episode Script
Snow Way Out
Narrator: COMING UP, WHAT'S GIVING "MURR" AN IDENTITY CRISIS? GIVING "MURR" AN IDENTITY CRISIS? BILLTHE COSBY.
CRISIS? BILLTHE COSBY.
WHAT? BILLTHE COSBY.
WHAT? Narrator: WHY IS SAL ACTING WHAT? Narrator: WHY IS SAL ACTING LIKE A BULL IN A LIQUOR SHOP? Narrator: WHY IS SAL ACTING LIKE A BULL IN A LIQUOR SHOP? OLé! LIKE A BULL IN A LIQUOR SHOP? OLé! [ LAUGHTER .]
OLé! [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHICH TWO [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHICH TWO JOKERS ARE LEFT HANGING IN Narrator: AND WHICH TWO JOKERS ARE LEFT HANGING IN TONIGHT'S BIG DOUBLE PUNISHMENT? JOKERS ARE LEFT HANGING IN TONIGHT'S BIG DOUBLE PUNISHMENT? [ BOTH SCREAM .]
TONIGHT'S BIG DOUBLE PUNISHMENT? [ BOTH SCREAM .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING [ BOTH SCREAM .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! [ LAUGHTER .]
TODAY, WE'RE AT SUPER BUY RITE LIQUOR STORE SUPER BUY RITE LIQUOR STORE SELLING SPIRITS TO CUSTOMERS.
SELLING SPIRITS TO CUSTOMERS.
AS WE'RE ASSISTING THE AS WE'RE ASSISTING THE CUSTOMERS, WE MUST DO AND SAY CUSTOMERS, WE MUST DO AND SAY WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
IF YOU BOOZE, YOU LOSE.
IF YOU BOOZE, YOU LOSE.
WAIT.
WAIT.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
GIVE ME THE BOOZE.
GIVE ME THE BOOZE.
GIVE ME GIVE ME HOLD THIS.
DON'T.
HOLD THIS.
DON'T.
I'LL HOLD IT.
I'LL HOLD IT.
YOU'RE REALLY DOING A BANG-UP YOU'RE REALLY DOING A BANG-UP JOB OUT THERE, MURR.
JOB OUT THERE, MURR.
THIS ALCOHOL'S NOT GONNA THIS ALCOHOL'S NOT GONNA STOCK ITSELF, GUYS.
STOCK ITSELF, GUYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? I ACTUALLY USED TO WORK AS A I ACTUALLY USED TO WORK AS A STOCK GUY.
STOCK GUY.
I KNOW.
I KNOW.
I USED TO WORK WITH YOU.
YOU GOT FIRED.
I USED TO WORK WITH YOU.
YOU GOT FIRED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU GOT FIRED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING? [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING? HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES, CAN I HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING? HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES.
HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS HERE HE GOES.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS BEFORE? HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS BEFORE? NO, I HAVE NOT.
BEFORE? NO, I HAVE NOT.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
NO, I HAVE NOT.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
DEFINITELY TRY THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
DEFINITELY TRY THAT.
YEAH, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY TRY THAT.
YEAH, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, YEAH, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY.
TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND, TAKE DEFINITELY.
TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND, TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND.
TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND, TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND.
THE OTHER ONE IT OUT OF HIS HAND.
THE OTHER ONE [ LAUGHTER .]
THE OTHER ONE [ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S A BELGIAN BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S A BELGIAN BEER.
IT'S SO, SO, SO TASTY.
IT'S A BELGIAN BEER.
IT'S SO, SO, SO TASTY.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S SO, SO, SO TASTY.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M PICKING UP A BUNCH OF I DON'T KNOW.
I'M PICKING UP A BUNCH OF STUFF, SO WHY NOT? I'M PICKING UP A BUNCH OF STUFF, SO WHY NOT? YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
STUFF, SO WHY NOT? YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
IT'S REALLY TASTY.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
IT'S REALLY TASTY.
TAKE THAT OUT OF HIS BASKET, IT'S REALLY TASTY.
TAKE THAT OUT OF HIS BASKET, PUT IT RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS.
TAKE THAT OUT OF HIS BASKET, PUT IT RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PUT IT RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
USUALLY, I DRINK I.
P.
A.
s.
[ LAUGHTER .]
USUALLY, I DRINK I.
P.
A.
s.
I.
P.
A.
s? USUALLY, I DRINK I.
P.
A.
s.
I.
P.
A.
s? YEAH.
I.
P.
A.
s? YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY THIS CART.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY THIS CART.
VERY COOL.
ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY THIS CART.
VERY COOL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
VERY COOL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HAVE YOU EVER HAD THESE, BY THE [ LAUGHTER .]
HAVE YOU EVER HAD THESE, BY THE WAY? HAVE YOU EVER HAD THESE, BY THE WAY? GIVE IT A TRY.
WAY? GIVE IT A TRY.
MURRAY, GO GET THAT AND PUT GIVE IT A TRY.
MURRAY, GO GET THAT AND PUT IT BACK, BUDDY.
MURRAY, GO GET THAT AND PUT IT BACK, BUDDY.
OH, YOU SAID PRIMARILY WHAT? IT BACK, BUDDY.
OH, YOU SAID PRIMARILY WHAT? I.
P.
A.
s, MOSTLY.
OH, YOU SAID PRIMARILY WHAT? I.
P.
A.
s, MOSTLY.
OH, GREAT.
I.
P.
A.
s, MOSTLY.
OH, GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE'S DONE WITH YOU, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE'S DONE WITH YOU, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE'S DONE WITH YOU, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY, READY, MURR? [ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY, READY, MURR? ONLY SPEAK IN FALSETTO.
OKAY, READY, MURR? ONLY SPEAK IN FALSETTO.
[ High-pitched .]
YOU GOT A ONLY SPEAK IN FALSETTO.
[ High-pitched .]
YOU GOT A PARTY COMING UP? [ High-pitched .]
YOU GOT A PARTY COMING UP? I ALWAYS HAVE A PARTY COMING PARTY COMING UP? I ALWAYS HAVE A PARTY COMING UP.
I ALWAYS HAVE A PARTY COMING UP.
[ LAUGHS .]
UP.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNESS, STELLA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNESS, STELLA.
GUINNESS? GUINNESS, STELLA.
GUINNESS? [ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNESS? [ LAUGHTER .]
I LOVE GUINNESS, TOO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I LOVE GUINNESS, TOO.
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
I LOVE GUINNESS, TOO.
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
NOTHING LIKE GOING OUT WITH THE IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
NOTHING LIKE GOING OUT WITH THE BOYS AND JUST POUNDING A NOTHING LIKE GOING OUT WITH THE BOYS AND JUST POUNDING A GUINNESS, YOU KNOW? BOYS AND JUST POUNDING A GUINNESS, YOU KNOW? [ LAUGHTER .]
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY BAR FIGHTS I'VE BEEN IN FROM POUNDING GUINNESES -- GUINNI -- FIGHTS I'VE BEEN IN FROM POUNDING GUINNESES -- GUINNI -- GUINNIE.
POUNDING GUINNESES -- GUINNI -- GUINNIE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNIE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HE'S WALKING AWAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HE'S WALKING AWAY.
HIDEY HO! SEE YOU SOON! OH, HE'S WALKING AWAY.
HIDEY HO! SEE YOU SOON! [ LAUGHTER .]
HIDEY HO! SEE YOU SOON! [ LAUGHTER .]
I FEEL LIKE A [BLEEP.]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I FEEL LIKE A [BLEEP.]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I FEEL LIKE A [BLEEP.]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHERE IS JOE? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHERE IS JOE? DO YOU NEED HELP OR WHERE IS JOE? DO YOU NEED HELP OR WHAT'D YOU NEED? DO YOU NEED HELP OR WHAT'D YOU NEED? KIRIN.
WHAT'D YOU NEED? KIRIN.
KIRIN.
KIRIN.
KIRIN.
YEAH.
KIRIN.
YEAH.
[ LAUGHS .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHS .]
YEAH, BOURBON'S RIGHT UP YEAH, BOURBON'S RIGHT UP HERE.
OH.
HERE.
OH.
JOE, NEVER FIND IT.
OH.
JOE, NEVER FIND IT.
THEY'LL FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE.
JOE, NEVER FIND IT.
THEY'LL FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY'LL FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
RIGHT HERE, BUD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
RIGHT HERE, BUD.
OH, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
RIGHT HERE, BUD.
OH, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
THERE YOU GO.
UH OH, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
THERE YOU GO.
UH OH, THAT'S NOT IT, THAT'S NOT THERE YOU GO.
UH OH, THAT'S NOT IT, THAT'S NOT IT.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT, THAT'S NOT IT.
NO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT.
NO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THEY DID IT OVER HERE NOW.
NO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THEY DID IT OVER HERE NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY DID IT OVER HERE NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO.
THEY PUT IT DOWN IN THE [ LAUGHTER .]
NO.
THEY PUT IT DOWN IN THE BACK.
NO.
THEY PUT IT DOWN IN THE BACK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BACK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HERE IT IS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HERE IT IS.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, HERE IT IS.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT.
THAT'S THE PBR.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT.
THAT'S THE PBR.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S THE PBR.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING HIM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING HIM.
JOE, NOW YOU FOLLOW THEM -- AS THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING HIM.
JOE, NOW YOU FOLLOW THEM -- AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
JOE, NOW YOU FOLLOW THEM -- AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED.
[ LAUGHS .]
THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED.
YEAH, JOE, JOE, RIGHT BEHIND THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED.
YEAH, JOE, JOE, RIGHT BEHIND HIM.
YEAH, JOE, JOE, RIGHT BEHIND HIM.
THEY MOVE IT ALL AROUND, YOU HIM.
THEY MOVE IT ALL AROUND, YOU KNOW? THEY MOVE IT ALL AROUND, YOU KNOW? FOR THE HOLIDAYS, IT'S HARD TO KNOW? FOR THE HOLIDAYS, IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK, 'CAUSE THEY CARRY SO FOR THE HOLIDAYS, IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK, 'CAUSE THEY CARRY SO MANY.
KEEP TRACK, 'CAUSE THEY CARRY SO MANY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MANY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE DON'T HAVE IT, MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE DON'T HAVE IT, MAN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
WE DON'T HAVE IT, MAN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
THAT GUY'S BACK.
OH [BLEEP.]
THAT GUY'S BACK.
THE GUY WITH THE RED HOODIE.
THAT GUY'S BACK.
THE GUY WITH THE RED HOODIE.
HE'S IN HERE EVERY WEEK.
THE GUY WITH THE RED HOODIE.
HE'S IN HERE EVERY WEEK.
HE ASKS IF I'M WORKING.
HE'S IN HERE EVERY WEEK.
HE ASKS IF I'M WORKING.
I WALK INTO MY BUILDING, HE'S HE ASKS IF I'M WORKING.
I WALK INTO MY BUILDING, HE'S STANDING THERE.
I WALK INTO MY BUILDING, HE'S STANDING THERE.
HE'S LIKE, "WELL, HOW YOU BEEN?" STANDING THERE.
HE'S LIKE, "WELL, HOW YOU BEEN?" I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW HE'S LIKE, "WELL, HOW YOU BEEN?" I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW HAVE I BEEN?" I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW HAVE I BEEN?" I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I KNEW HIM HAVE I BEEN?" I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I KNEW HIM FROM.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I KNEW HIM FROM.
POPS UP LAST WEEK AT MY NIECE'S FROM.
POPS UP LAST WEEK AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
POPS UP LAST WEEK AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
NO WAY.
COMMUNION.
NO WAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
NO WAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DOESN'T EVEN DRINK.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DOESN'T EVEN DRINK.
HE SHOWED UP AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S HE DOESN'T EVEN DRINK.
HE SHOWED UP AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND TRIED TO STEAL HE SHOWED UP AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND TRIED TO STEAL HER PUDDING.
NURSING HOME AND TRIED TO STEAL HER PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HER PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, HE'S LOOKING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, HE'S LOOKING.
DUCK DOWN BEHIND THIS GUY.
JOE, HE'S LOOKING.
DUCK DOWN BEHIND THIS GUY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DUCK DOWN BEHIND THIS GUY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IF THE COPS NEED A WITNESS, [ LAUGHTER .]
IF THE COPS NEED A WITNESS, YOU'RE DOWN, RIGHT? IF THE COPS NEED A WITNESS, YOU'RE DOWN, RIGHT? IF THE COPS A WITNESS THAT HE YOU'RE DOWN, RIGHT? IF THE COPS A WITNESS THAT HE SHOWED UP, YOU'RE DOWN? IF THE COPS A WITNESS THAT HE SHOWED UP, YOU'RE DOWN? WHAT? SHOWED UP, YOU'RE DOWN? WHAT? 'CAUSE I HAVE A RESTRAINING WHAT? 'CAUSE I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER, LIKE, PENDING.
'CAUSE I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER, LIKE, PENDING.
HE'S CRAZY.
ORDER, LIKE, PENDING.
HE'S CRAZY.
HE'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
HE'S CRAZY.
HE'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
NOW HAVE THE SAME HE'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
NOW HAVE THE SAME CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY THAT NOW HAVE THE SAME CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY THAT WAS FOLLOWING YOU.
CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY THAT WAS FOLLOWING YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
WAS FOLLOWING YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY? [ LAUGHS .]
HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY? YOU DOING ALL RIGHT? HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY? YOU DOING ALL RIGHT? FIND EVERYTHING OKAY? YOU DOING ALL RIGHT? FIND EVERYTHING OKAY? YEAH, YEAH.
FIND EVERYTHING OKAY? YEAH, YEAH.
OH [BLEEP.]
YEAH, YEAH.
OH [BLEEP.]
THIS GUY'S BACK HERE.
OH [BLEEP.]
THIS GUY'S BACK HERE.
THIS GUY'S BEEN FOLLOWING ME.
THIS GUY'S BACK HERE.
THIS GUY'S BEEN FOLLOWING ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS GUY'S BEEN FOLLOWING ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE SHOWS UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE SHOWS UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
AND I COME OUT OF MY BUILDING, HE SHOWS UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
AND I COME OUT OF MY BUILDING, AND HE'S OUT FRONT.
AND I COME OUT OF MY BUILDING, AND HE'S OUT FRONT.
AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT'S UP?" AND HE'S OUT FRONT.
AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT'S UP?" AND I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT'S UP?" AND I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW YOU.
" AND I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW YOU.
" TWO WEEKS LATER, I'M AT MY YOU.
" TWO WEEKS LATER, I'M AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
TWO WEEKS LATER, I'M AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
HE'S IN THE CHURCH.
NIECE'S COMMUNION.
HE'S IN THE CHURCH.
I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU HAVE FAMILY HE'S IN THE CHURCH.
I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU HAVE FAMILY HERE?" I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU HAVE FAMILY HERE?" HE'S LIKE, "NO.
" HERE?" HE'S LIKE, "NO.
" HE SHOWED AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S HE'S LIKE, "NO.
" HE SHOWED AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND ASKED FOR HER HE SHOWED AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND ASKED FOR HER PUDDING.
NURSING HOME AND ASKED FOR HER PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER [ LAUGHTER .]
I GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER PENDING, IF YOU'D LIKE TO -- YOU I GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER PENDING, IF YOU'D LIKE TO -- YOU KNOW, IF I COULD USE YOU AS A PENDING, IF YOU'D LIKE TO -- YOU KNOW, IF I COULD USE YOU AS A WITNESS.
KNOW, IF I COULD USE YOU AS A WITNESS.
YEAH, YEAH.
WITNESS.
YEAH, YEAH.
COOL.
THANKS, DUDE.
YEAH, YEAH.
COOL.
THANKS, DUDE.
GOOD LUCK.
COOL.
THANKS, DUDE.
GOOD LUCK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUYS, I'M PRETTY SURE I'M BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SAL, DO THE THING -- "YOU GOT [ LAUGHTER .]
SAL, DO THE THING -- "YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR SHIRT, SAL, DO THE THING -- "YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR SHIRT, BOOP!" -- TO THIS GUY'S NOSE.
SOMETHING ON YOUR SHIRT, BOOP!" -- TO THIS GUY'S NOSE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BOOP!" -- TO THIS GUY'S NOSE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU HAVE, UH YOU HAVE, UH BOOP! OH.
BOOP! OH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! THAT'S SO STUPID.
OH, MY GOD! THAT'S SO STUPID.
SO STUPID.
THAT'S SO STUPID.
SO STUPID.
SAL, YOU SEE THIS GUY OVER SO STUPID.
SAL, YOU SEE THIS GUY OVER THERE? SAL, YOU SEE THIS GUY OVER THERE? CHARGE THIS GUY AS FAST AS YOU THERE? CHARGE THIS GUY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
CHARGE THIS GUY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GO! [ LAUGHTER .]
GO! OLé! GO! OLé! [ LAUGHTER .]
SAL, THIS GUY'S GOT A HOOD ON IN THE BACK.
GO OVER TO HIM, PULL HIS HOOD IN THE BACK.
GO OVER TO HIM, PULL HIS HOOD DOWN, AND GO, "NOT INSIDE.
" GO OVER TO HIM, PULL HIS HOOD DOWN, AND GO, "NOT INSIDE.
" OH, MY GOD.
DOWN, AND GO, "NOT INSIDE.
" OH, MY GOD.
OOH! OH, MY GOD.
OOH! EXCUSE ME, SIR? OOH! EXCUSE ME, SIR? YEAH? EXCUSE ME, SIR? YEAH? WE HAVE THE POLICY OF THE YEAH? WE HAVE THE POLICY OF THE STORE HERE WE HAVE THE POLICY OF THE STORE HERE MM-HMM.
STORE HERE MM-HMM.
LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO -- MM-HMM.
LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO -- THIS ONE HERE -- BUT THIS, LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO -- THIS ONE HERE -- BUT THIS, THOUGH, NOT INSIDE.
THIS ONE HERE -- BUT THIS, THOUGH, NOT INSIDE.
OH, OKAY.
THOUGH, NOT INSIDE.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH, YEAH.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH, YEAH.
WATCH THE HAIR.
YEAH, YEAH.
WATCH THE HAIR.
OH, I'M SORRY.
LOOKS GREAT.
WATCH THE HAIR.
OH, I'M SORRY.
LOOKS GREAT.
THANK YOU.
OH, I'M SORRY.
LOOKS GREAT.
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HELP WITH ANYTHING? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? OKAY.
YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? OKAY.
'CAUSE I MISSED MY THERAPIST WHAT'S WRONG? OKAY.
'CAUSE I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY.
'CAUSE I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY.
I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY.
I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY, SO I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY, SO [ LAUGHTER .]
APPOINTMENT TODAY, SO [ LAUGHTER .]
START LISTING ALL YOUR [ LAUGHTER .]
START LISTING ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, BUDDY.
START LISTING ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, BUDDY.
I GOT PROBLEMS, IF YOU WANT PROBLEMS, BUDDY.
I GOT PROBLEMS, IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN.
I GOT PROBLEMS, IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TO LISTEN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LET ME START WITH MY SISTER.
LET ME START WITH MY SISTER.
OOH.
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK WITH HER.
OOH.
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK WITH HER.
"PLEASE COME PICK ME UP.
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK WITH HER.
"PLEASE COME PICK ME UP.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
" "PLEASE COME PICK ME UP.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
[ LAUGHS .]
I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
[ LAUGHS .]
"I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD [ LAUGHS .]
"I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
" "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
" AND THERE'S MY MOM.
IS.
" AND THERE'S MY MOM.
"CAN I BORROW MONEY? AND THERE'S MY MOM.
"CAN I BORROW MONEY? WORK IS TERRIBLE.
" "CAN I BORROW MONEY? WORK IS TERRIBLE.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER WORK IS TERRIBLE.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
" "I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
" WOW.
IS.
" WOW.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WOW.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY GRANDPARENTS.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY GRANDPARENTS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M GONNA FIND YOU THE WINE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING? ACTUALLY, I KNEW SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY, I KNEW SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU.
LOOKS LIKE YOU.
I KNEW SOMEONE, ACTUALLY, I KNEW SOMEONE, ACTUALLY, THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU.
THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU.
A LOT LIKE YOU, ACTUALLY.
A LOT LIKE YOU, ACTUALLY.
YEAH, YOU KNOW YEAH, YOU KNOW "FOREHEAD DAVIS"? DO YOU KNOW "FOREHEAD DAVIS"? DO YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER .]
DO YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JESS.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JESS.
OH, OKAY.
NO, NO.
JESS.
OH, OKAY.
NO, NO.
WE CALL HIM FOREHEAD DAVIS OH, OKAY.
NO, NO.
WE CALL HIM FOREHEAD DAVIS OKAY.
WE CALL HIM FOREHEAD DAVIS OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK [ LAUGHTER .]
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING, SIR? NO.
SIR? NO.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DRINK? NO.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DRINK? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I'M THE SAME WAY, TOO.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME I'M THE SAME WAY, TOO.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
FROM THE NEWS.
NO.
FROM THE NEWS.
FROM THE NEWS.
NO.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT FROM THE NEWS.
NO.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DOG.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT [ LAUGHTER .]
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
ATE THE DOG.
DOG.
ATE THE DOG.
YEAH.
ATE THE DOG.
YEAH.
MY HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE A PORK YEAH.
MY HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY HUSBAND -- HE LOOKS LIKE A CHOP.
MY HUSBAND -- HE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY HUSBAND -- HE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PORK CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Q, GRAB THOSE PING-PONG [ LAUGHTER .]
Q, GRAB THOSE PING-PONG BALLS.
Q, GRAB THOSE PING-PONG BALLS.
YOU SEE THE BIG GUY THERE WITH BALLS.
YOU SEE THE BIG GUY THERE WITH THE BLUE HAT? YOU SEE THE BIG GUY THERE WITH THE BLUE HAT? OH, DUDE, I THE BLUE HAT? OH, DUDE, I DUCK BEHIND THE BEER AND OH, DUDE, I DUCK BEHIND THE BEER AND THROW A PING-PONG BALL OVER THE DUCK BEHIND THE BEER AND THROW A PING-PONG BALL OVER THE BEER AND HIT HIM.
THROW A PING-PONG BALL OVER THE BEER AND HIT HIM.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? BEER AND HIT HIM.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? [ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW THROW SIX OF THEM AT HIM, THE WHOLE CASE.
NOW THROW SIX OF THEM AT HIM, THE WHOLE CASE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING FUN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT.
SAL JUST DID A TRUST FALL SAL JUST DID A TRUST FALL BACK HERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BACK HERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: POP THE CHAMPAGNE, [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: POP THE CHAMPAGNE, 'CAUSE ALL FOUR JOKERS STAYED Narrator: POP THE CHAMPAGNE, 'CAUSE ALL FOUR JOKERS STAYED OFF THE LOSER BOARD.
'CAUSE ALL FOUR JOKERS STAYED OFF THE LOSER BOARD.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AT THE OFF THE LOSER BOARD.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AT THE BUTCHER AND YOU GOT TO PULL A YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AT THE BUTCHER AND YOU GOT TO PULL A NUMBER TO BE SERVED? BUTCHER AND YOU GOT TO PULL A NUMBER TO BE SERVED? WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING NUMBER TO BE SERVED? WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY WITH "THESE AIN'T YOUR WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY WITH "THESE AIN'T YOUR MAMA'S TICKETS.
" TODAY WITH "THESE AIN'T YOUR MAMA'S TICKETS.
" ON THE BACK OF THESE, THERE MAMA'S TICKETS.
" ON THE BACK OF THESE, THERE ARE SPECIFIC TASKS THAT WE MUST ON THE BACK OF THESE, THERE ARE SPECIFIC TASKS THAT WE MUST COMPLETE.
THE GOAL IS TO DO WHATEVER IT SAYS ON THE BACK OF YOUR TICKET, SAYS ON THE BACK OF YOUR TICKET, AND IF YOU CAN'T, YOU'RE DEAD AND IF YOU CAN'T, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT.
MEAT.
BUTCHER JOKE! BUTCHER JOKE! ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
YEP.
YEP.
WHAT DO YOU GOT? WHAT DO YOU GOT? "PUT HAND INSIDE SOMEONE'S "PUT HAND INSIDE SOMEONE'S SHIRT.
" SHIRT.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
LIKE, PROM NIGHT, BRO.
LIKE, PROM NIGHT, BRO.
GET YOUR HAND RIGHT IN THAT GET YOUR HAND RIGHT IN THAT SHIRT.
SHIRT.
OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, EVERYONE OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, EVERYONE HERE IS IN A WINTER COAT WITH A TURTLENECK AND A SCARF.
HERE IS IN A WINTER COAT WITH A TURTLENECK AND A SCARF.
SAL, YOU'RE DESCRIBING TURTLENECK AND A SCARF.
SAL, YOU'RE DESCRIBING PROBLEMS THAT DON'T MATTER TO SAL, YOU'RE DESCRIBING PROBLEMS THAT DON'T MATTER TO ME, BUDDY.
PROBLEMS THAT DON'T MATTER TO ME, BUDDY.
IT DON'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL, ME, BUDDY.
IT DON'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL, BUDDY.
IT DON'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL, BUDDY.
DO, DO, DO, DO BUDDY.
DO, DO, DO, DO I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT DO, DO, DO, DO I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ Laughing .]
RIGHT? SHIRT [ Laughing .]
RIGHT? I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ Laughing .]
RIGHT? I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I LOVE THAT SONG.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I LOVE THAT SONG.
PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I LOVE THAT SONG.
PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER, BUDDY.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GET PEOPLE'S YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER, BUDDY.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION.
IF THEY SING ALONG, THEY ATTENTION.
IF THEY SING ALONG, THEY MIGHT LET YOU DO IT.
IF THEY SING ALONG, THEY MIGHT LET YOU DO IT.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR MIGHT LET YOU DO IT.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT THAT ARM.
SHIRT THAT ARM.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT ARM? THAT ARM.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT ARM? PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT ARM? PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT YOU KNOW THAT SONG? SHIRT YOU KNOW THAT SONG? I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
YOU KNOW THAT SONG? I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT ALL RIGHT.
WOW.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT ALL RIGHT.
WOW.
YOUR SONG AND DANCE ISN'T ALL RIGHT.
WOW.
YOUR SONG AND DANCE ISN'T WORKING, BUDDY.
YOUR SONG AND DANCE ISN'T WORKING, BUDDY.
YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE.
WORKING, BUDDY.
YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE.
HOW ARE THE WINGS, BY THE WAY? YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE.
HOW ARE THE WINGS, BY THE WAY? GOOD.
GOOD.
HOW ARE THE WINGS, BY THE WAY? GOOD.
GOOD.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR ON GOOD.
GOOD.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY, THOSE WILL IF YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY, THOSE WILL PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST.
YOUR CHEST ALREADY, THOSE WILL PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST.
THAT'S WHAT MY GRANDFATHER SAID.
PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST.
THAT'S WHAT MY GRANDFATHER SAID.
[ CHUCKLES .]
THAT'S WHAT MY GRANDFATHER SAID.
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE COMES THE WHERE YOU TRY TO [ LAUGHTER .]
HE COMES THE WHERE YOU TRY TO MAKE IT WEIRD AND ACCEPTABLE.
HE COMES THE WHERE YOU TRY TO MAKE IT WEIRD AND ACCEPTABLE.
YOU GOT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST MAKE IT WEIRD AND ACCEPTABLE.
YOU GOT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY OR NO? YOU GOT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY OR NO? YEAH.
ALREADY OR NO? YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
NOW WHAT? WHAT ARE THE ODDS I COULD -- NOW WHAT? WHAT ARE THE ODDS I COULD -- I COULD WHAT ARE THE ODDS I COULD -- I COULD WHAT ARE THE ODDS I CAN JUST I COULD WHAT ARE THE ODDS I CAN JUST FEEL YOUR CHEST, FEEL WHAT KIND WHAT ARE THE ODDS I CAN JUST FEEL YOUR CHEST, FEEL WHAT KIND OF HAIR YOU GOT THERE? FEEL YOUR CHEST, FEEL WHAT KIND OF HAIR YOU GOT THERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
OF HAIR YOU GOT THERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
NOT A CHANCE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOT A CHANCE.
OKAY.
NOT A CHANCE.
OKAY.
WOW! OKAY.
WOW! CAN I GET SOME CHICKENS DOWN WOW! CAN I GET SOME CHICKENS DOWN HERE? CAN I GET SOME CHICKENS DOWN HERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
HERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
A SPECTACULAR FAIL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHS .]
WHICH ONE DID YOU GET? [ LAUGHS .]
WHICH ONE DID YOU GET? WHAT'D YOU GET? WHICH ONE DID YOU GET? WHAT'D YOU GET? "CRAWL THROUGH SOMEONE'S WHAT'D YOU GET? "CRAWL THROUGH SOMEONE'S LEGS.
" "CRAWL THROUGH SOMEONE'S LEGS.
" YEAH! ALL RIGHT.
LEGS.
" YEAH! ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S TOUGHER THAN IT YEAH! ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S TOUGHER THAN IT SOUNDS.
THAT'S TOUGHER THAN IT SOUNDS.
WELL, YEAH, 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE WELL, YEAH, 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE GONNA MOVE, RIGHT? HE'S PLANTING IT.
GONNA MOVE, RIGHT? HE'S PLANTING IT.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF HE'S PLANTING IT.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF BEEF? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF BEEF? RIB EYE.
BEEF? RIB EYE.
HOW DO YOU COOK IT, THOUGH? RIB EYE.
HOW DO YOU COOK IT, THOUGH? GRILL, GRILL, GRILL.
HOW DO YOU COOK IT, THOUGH? GRILL, GRILL, GRILL.
YOU WANT TO GO WITH GRILL, GRILL, GRILL.
YOU WANT TO GO WITH OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
YOU WANT TO GO WITH OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I PREFER, LIKE, MEDIUM.
YEAH, BUT NOW WHAT? WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THIS GUY? YEAH, BUT NOW WHAT? WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THIS GUY? YOU HAVE NOTHING NOW.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THIS GUY? YOU HAVE NOTHING NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU HAVE NOTHING NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
DROPPED MY TEA.
OH [BLEEP.]
DROPPED MY TEA.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
DROPPED MY TEA.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
I'LL GET IT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
I'LL GET IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'LL GET IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOILED AGAIN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOILED AGAIN.
THANK YOU.
FOILED AGAIN.
THANK YOU.
OH, SHOOT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
THANK YOU.
OH, SHOOT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
LET ME JUSTRIGHT THROUGH OH, SHOOT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
LET ME JUSTRIGHT THROUGH HERE.
LET ME JUSTRIGHT THROUGH HERE.
GOT IT.
GOT THE TEA.
HERE.
GOT IT.
GOT THE TEA.
ALL RIGHT.
GOT IT.
GOT THE TEA.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GO HOME AND MAKE THIS ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GO HOME AND MAKE THIS STEAK.
I'M GONNA GO HOME AND MAKE THIS STEAK.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
STEAK.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT SOMEHOW.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT SOMEHOW.
WOW! I'M IMPRESSED.
HOW DO YOU FEEL, DUDE? INTIMIDATED BY THAT THING? HOW DO YOU FEEL, DUDE? INTIMIDATED BY THAT THING? A LITTLE BIT, ACTUALLY.
INTIMIDATED BY THAT THING? A LITTLE BIT, ACTUALLY.
[ LAUGHS .]
A LITTLE BIT, ACTUALLY.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
"SMELL A FINGER.
" [ LAUGHS .]
"SMELL A FINGER.
" NOT YOUR OWN, NOT YOUR OWN.
"SMELL A FINGER.
" NOT YOUR OWN, NOT YOUR OWN.
NOT YOUR OWN.
NOT YOUR OWN, NOT YOUR OWN.
NOT YOUR OWN.
IT COULD BY ANY FINGER.
IT COULD BY ANY FINGER.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A HUMAN FINGER.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A HUMAN FINGER.
WHO ELSE HAS A FINGER? FINGER.
WHO ELSE HAS A FINGER? PANDA BEARS.
WHO ELSE HAS A FINGER? PANDA BEARS.
[ SNIFFS .]
PANDA BEARS.
[ SNIFFS .]
YOU GUYS -- YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? [ SNIFFS .]
YOU GUYS -- YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? SMELL WHAT? YOU GUYS -- YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? SMELL WHAT? IT'S A FINGER.
SMELL WHAT? IT'S A FINGER.
[ SNIFFING .]
YOU DIDN'T GET IT, YOU DIDN'T GET IT.
LOOK AT HER FACE.
GET IT.
LOOK AT HER FACE.
HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT, HE GOT LOOK AT HER FACE.
HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT.
IT'S DELICIOUS.
IT.
IT'S DELICIOUS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH-HO! HERE WE GO.
WHAT DO YOU GOT, Q? HERE WE GO.
WHAT DO YOU GOT, Q? COMPLETELY DESTROY SOMETHING WHAT DO YOU GOT, Q? COMPLETELY DESTROY SOMETHING IN SOMEONE'S CART.
COMPLETELY DESTROY SOMETHING IN SOMEONE'S CART.
OH-HO! IN SOMEONE'S CART.
OH-HO! DESTROY.
OH-HO! DESTROY.
Q, DESTROY.
Q, DESTROY.
Q SMASH! Q -- WINGS.
Q SMASH! Q -- WINGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Q -- WINGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY NERVE-RACKING.
THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY NERVE-RACKING.
IT'S SUPER-AGGRESSIVE.
NERVE-RACKING.
IT'S SUPER-AGGRESSIVE.
ANYTIME THE WORD "DESTROY" IS IT'S SUPER-AGGRESSIVE.
ANYTIME THE WORD "DESTROY" IS IN THE INSTRUCTION, IT'S HARD TO ANYTIME THE WORD "DESTROY" IS IN THE INSTRUCTION, IT'S HARD TO DO.
IN THE INSTRUCTION, IT'S HARD TO DO.
[ BURPS LOUDLY .]
EXCUSE ME.
YEAH? SANTIAGO SENT ME.
YEAH? SANTIAGO SENT ME.
OH, LET ME SEE WHERE HE'S SANTIAGO SENT ME.
OH, LET ME SEE WHERE HE'S GOING.
OH, LET ME SEE WHERE HE'S GOING.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
GOING.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU.
AND HE TOLD ME -- AND HE TOLD HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU.
AND HE TOLD ME -- AND HE TOLD ME -- HE TOLD ME TO SEND A AND HE TOLD ME -- AND HE TOLD ME -- HE TOLD ME TO SEND A MESSAGE.
ME -- HE TOLD ME TO SEND A MESSAGE.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
SANTIAGO IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH.
OH, MY GOD! WITH.
OH, MY GOD! SANTIAGO IS BACK, BABY! OH, MY GOD! SANTIAGO IS BACK, BABY! [ LAUGHTER .]
SANTIAGO IS BACK, BABY! [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: SAL GOT A TICKET TO [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: SAL GOT A TICKET TO RIDE STRAIGHT TO THE LOSER Narrator: SAL GOT A TICKET TO RIDE STRAIGHT TO THE LOSER BOARD.
RIDE STRAIGHT TO THE LOSER BOARD.
WE'RE ON THE STREETS TRYING BOARD.
WE'RE ON THE STREETS TRYING TO COLLECT SIGNATURES TO GET A WE'RE ON THE STREETS TRYING TO COLLECT SIGNATURES TO GET A BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY OFFICIALLY TO COLLECT SIGNATURES TO GET A BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED.
BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED.
BUT WE DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF RECOGNIZED.
BUT WE DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE HOLIDAY BECAUSE IT'S BEEN BUT WE DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE HOLIDAY BECAUSE IT'S BEEN CREATED BY THE OTHER GUYS.
IF YOU CAN'T GET SOMEONE TO SIGN IN SUPPORT OF YOUR HOLIDAY, SIGN IN SUPPORT OF YOUR HOLIDAY, YOU LOSE.
YOU LOSE.
TODAY IS SMACK MURR DAY.
TODAY IS SMACK MURR DAY.
WAIT.
WHAT? WAIT.
WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S JOE AND MURR IN A IT'S JOE AND MURR IN A JOKER vs.
JOKER CHALLENGE.
JOKER vs.
JOKER CHALLENGE.
HEY, GUYS.
HEY, GUYS.
I'M OUT HERE COLLECTING SOME I'M OUT HERE COLLECTING SOME SIGNATURES FOR A NEW NATIONAL SIGNATURES FOR A NEW NATIONAL HOLIDAY FOR THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
HOLIDAY FOR THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
I WONDER IF YOU HAD TWO SECONDS.
I WONDER IF YOU HAD TWO SECONDS.
THE HOLIDAY IS REVERSE THE HOLIDAY IS REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH WHAT IS THAT DAY? YEAH WHAT IS THAT DAY? OH, YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE OH, YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX? REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX? REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX? REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN PEOPLE REALIZE THAT, "HEY, MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN PEOPLE REALIZE THAT, "HEY, REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE PEOPLE REALIZE THAT, "HEY, REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX IS GOING ON AROUND HERE.
" REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX IS GOING ON AROUND HERE.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND IT'S SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND IT'S SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE [ LAUGHTER .]
REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX NORMALLY FALLS ON A REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX NORMALLY FALLS ON A WEDNESDAY.
MATRIX NORMALLY FALLS ON A WEDNESDAY.
SO NOW WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE WEDNESDAY.
SO NOW WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE REALIZE IT ON A SUNDAY, SO NOW WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE REALIZE IT ON A SUNDAY, BECAUSE REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PEOPLE REALIZE IT ON A SUNDAY, BECAUSE REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY BECAUSE REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN THEY'RE ALL GOING OUT IN PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN THEY'RE ALL GOING OUT IN THE MATRIX, THE PARTICLE, THE IS WHEN THEY'RE ALL GOING OUT IN THE MATRIX, THE PARTICLE, THE REVERSE HYPERKINETICAL PARTICLE THE MATRIX, THE PARTICLE, THE REVERSE HYPERKINETICAL PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
REVERSE HYPERKINETICAL PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M OUT HERE BUSTING MY HUMP, [ LAUGHTER .]
I'M OUT HERE BUSTING MY HUMP, FREEZING MY CASTAÃAS OFF ABOUT I'M OUT HERE BUSTING MY HUMP, FREEZING MY CASTAÃAS OFF ABOUT REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE FREEZING MY CASTAÃAS OFF ABOUT REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE [ LAUGHS .]
WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING -- AND I WANT YOU TO WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING -- AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER FIVE LITTLE WORDS.
MORNING -- AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER FIVE LITTLE WORDS.
FIVE LITTLE WORDS REMEMBER FIVE LITTLE WORDS.
FIVE LITTLE WORDS "I CAN DO ITMYSELF.
" FIVE LITTLE WORDS "I CAN DO ITMYSELF.
" AND THEN THINK OF REVERSE "I CAN DO ITMYSELF.
" AND THEN THINK OF REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AND THEN THINK OF REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY, OKAY? SO, DO ME A FAVOR AND SIGN HERE, AND WE CAN GET IT GOING.
AND WE CAN GET IT GOING.
ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO SIGN THIS.
ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO SIGN THIS.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA SIGN.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA SIGN.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
NO! NO! THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
YOU'RE AN OKAY WOMAN.
YOU'RE AN OKAY WOMAN.
THANKS.
THANKS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUYS.
GUYS.
YEAH, MURR? YEAH, MURR? I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
OH, YEAH, YOU GOT IT.
OH, YEAH, YOU GOT IT.
THIS TIME, I'M GONNA TRY TO THIS TIME, I'M GONNA TRY TO BE, LIKE, ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
BE, LIKE, ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
GIVE ME ONE SECOND.
GIVE ME ONE SECOND.
I'M JUST GONNA OPEN YOUR BACK PANEL AND I'M GONNA ENGAGE HUMAN I'M JUST GONNA OPEN YOUR BACK PANEL AND I'M GONNA ENGAGE HUMAN MODE.
PANEL AND I'M GONNA ENGAGE HUMAN MODE.
THERE WE GO.
MODE.
THERE WE GO.
DO A LITTLE TWIST THERE.
THERE WE GO.
DO A LITTLE TWIST THERE.
REPLACE THAT SWITCH.
DO A LITTLE TWIST THERE.
REPLACE THAT SWITCH.
CLOSE THAT BACK DOWN.
REPLACE THAT SWITCH.
CLOSE THAT BACK DOWN.
HIS BATTERIES WERE LOW.
CLOSE THAT BACK DOWN.
HIS BATTERIES WERE LOW.
[ LAUGHS .]
HIS BATTERIES WERE LOW.
[ LAUGHS .]
I TELL YOU WHAT -- I NEED A [ LAUGHS .]
I TELL YOU WHAT -- I NEED A NEW HOLIDAY, AND SO DO YOU.
I TELL YOU WHAT -- I NEED A NEW HOLIDAY, AND SO DO YOU.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
NEW HOLIDAY, AND SO DO YOU.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
OOH! THERE YOU GO.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
OOH! THERE YOU GO.
HERE'S THE NEW HOLIDAY.
OOH! THERE YOU GO.
HERE'S THE NEW HOLIDAY.
I'M TRYING TO GET ENOUGH HERE'S THE NEW HOLIDAY.
I'M TRYING TO GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES.
I'M TRYING TO GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES.
IF WE GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES, THE SIGNATURES.
IF WE GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES, THE GOVERNMENT WILL PASS THE IF WE GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES, THE GOVERNMENT WILL PASS THE HOLIDAY.
IT'S THE BILL THE COSBY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU DON'T -- YOU DON'T -- HOLD IT TOGETHER, MURRAY.
HOLD IT TOGETHER, MURRAY.
YOU KNOW BILL THE COSBY, YOU KNOW BILL THE COSBY, RIGHT? RIGHT? BILLTHE COSBY.
BILLTHE COSBY.
BILLTHE COSBY.
BILLTHE COSBY.
THAT WAS THE WORST BILL COSBY THAT WAS THE WORST BILL COSBY EVER.
EVER.
YOU'VE SEEN HIM ON TV.
YOU'VE SEEN HIM ON TV.
HE'S LIKE HE'S LIKE PUDDING POPS! PUDDING POPS! WHAT? WHAT? PUDDING -- PUDDING POPS.
PUDDING -- PUDDING POPS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THE -- THE -- THE -- THE KIDS.
THE -- THE -- THE -- THE KIDS.
THAT WAS THE WORST.
THAT WAS THE WORST.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: MURR SIGNED HIMSELF [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: MURR SIGNED HIMSELF UP FOR THE LOSER BOARD, JOINING Narrator: MURR SIGNED HIMSELF UP FOR THE LOSER BOARD, JOINING SAL IN TONIGHT'S DOUBLE UP FOR THE LOSER BOARD, JOINING SAL IN TONIGHT'S DOUBLE PUNISHMENT.
SAL IN TONIGHT'S DOUBLE PUNISHMENT.
HEY, Q, WHAT SUCKS AND WEARS PUNISHMENT.
HEY, Q, WHAT SUCKS AND WEARS SKIS? HEY, Q, WHAT SUCKS AND WEARS SKIS? OUR LOSERS TODAY.
SKIS? OUR LOSERS TODAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
OUR LOSERS TODAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND FOR THEIR PUNISHMENT, THAT'S RIGHT.
AND FOR THEIR PUNISHMENT, THEY'RE GOING TO THE TOP OF AND FOR THEIR PUNISHMENT, THEY'RE GOING TO THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK.
THEY'RE GOING TO THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK.
[ Echoing .]
BEAR PEAK! BEAR PEAK.
[ Echoing .]
BEAR PEAK! WHAT'S AT THE TOP OF [ Echoing .]
BEAR PEAK! WHAT'S AT THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK? WHAT'S AT THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK? YOUR PUNISHMENT.
BEAR PEAK? YOUR PUNISHMENT.
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
YOUR PUNISHMENT.
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GONNA BE? YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GONNA BE? WE'LL BE DOWN HERE IN THE SKI WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GONNA BE? WE'LL BE DOWN HERE IN THE SKI LODGE.
WE'LL BE DOWN HERE IN THE SKI LODGE.
I CAN'T SKI.
LODGE.
I CAN'T SKI.
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN.
I CAN'T SKI.
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN.
ALL RIGHT, STOP THAT.
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN.
ALL RIGHT, STOP THAT.
AAH! AAH! ALL RIGHT, STOP THAT.
AAH! AAH! [ LAUGHTER .]
AAH! AAH! [ LAUGHTER .]
HERE WE GO! [ LAUGHTER .]
HERE WE GO! OH, MY GOD! HERE WE GO! OH, MY GOD! ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
OH, MY GOD! ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
[BLEEP.]
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
[BLEEP.]
AAH! [BLEEP.]
AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
[ LAUGHS .]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, YOU READY? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, YOU READY? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, YOU READY? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT.
WHAT DO I DO? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT.
WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WAIT.
WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? IT'S PUSHING ME.
WHAT DO I DO? IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME! IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME! [ LAUGHS .]
IT'S PUSHING ME! [ LAUGHS .]
I WISH WE ALWAYS HAD A BUTTON [ LAUGHS .]
I WISH WE ALWAYS HAD A BUTTON THAT WE COULD PRESS THAT WHISKS I WISH WE ALWAYS HAD A BUTTON THAT WE COULD PRESS THAT WHISKS THEM AWAY OUT OF OUR LIVES.
THAT WE COULD PRESS THAT WHISKS THEM AWAY OUT OF OUR LIVES.
BUDDY, I'M SO [BLEEP.]
SCARED, THEM AWAY OUT OF OUR LIVES.
BUDDY, I'M SO [BLEEP.]
SCARED, DUDE.
BUDDY, I'M SO [BLEEP.]
SCARED, DUDE.
LOOK AT THIS HILL.
DUDE.
LOOK AT THIS HILL.
IF YOU FALL FROM HERE, YOU'RE LOOK AT THIS HILL.
IF YOU FALL FROM HERE, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU REALIZE.
IF YOU FALL FROM HERE, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU REALIZE.
DON'T MOVE FAST, DUDE.
DEAD, YOU REALIZE.
DON'T MOVE FAST, DUDE.
STOP.
IT'S, LIKE, SHAKING DON'T MOVE FAST, DUDE.
STOP.
IT'S, LIKE, SHAKING ALREADY.
STOP.
IT'S, LIKE, SHAKING ALREADY.
HIT THE BUTTON, HIT THE ALREADY.
HIT THE BUTTON, HIT THE BUTTON.
HIT THE BUTTON, HIT THE BUTTON.
[ RINGING .]
BUTTON.
[ RINGING .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ RINGING .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL.
WHY ARE WE [BLEEP.]
STOPPED? HEY, BOYS.
HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS? THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS? THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I DON'T LIKE BEING SUSPENDED THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I DON'T LIKE BEING SUSPENDED HERE, GUYS.
I DON'T LIKE BEING SUSPENDED HERE, GUYS.
IT'S FREEZING.
HERE, GUYS.
IT'S FREEZING.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
IT'S FREEZING.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS IT.
THERE WE GO.
LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS IT.
THERE WE GO.
LOOK AT THIS.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE SNOWBALL THERE WE GO.
LOOK AT THIS.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE SNOWBALL FIGHT.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE SNOWBALL FIGHT.
SNOWBALL FIGHT! FIGHT.
SNOWBALL FIGHT! OH, MY GOD! SNOWBALL FIGHT! OH, MY GOD! I'M NERVOUS I'M GONNA FALL.
OH, MY GOD! I'M NERVOUS I'M GONNA FALL.
AAH! YOU [BLEEP.]
I'M NERVOUS I'M GONNA FALL.
AAH! YOU [BLEEP.]
DON'T MAKE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS! AAH! YOU [BLEEP.]
DON'T MAKE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS! GUYS.
DON'T MAKE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS! GUYS.
YEAH? GUYS.
YEAH? WHAT? YEAH? WHAT? AAH! PLEASE STOP! WHAT? AAH! PLEASE STOP! AAH! AAH! PLEASE STOP! AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
IN YOUR [BLEEP.]
FACE! [ LAUGHS .]
IN YOUR [BLEEP.]
FACE! AT THIS POINT, I'M JUST DONE IN YOUR [BLEEP.]
FACE! AT THIS POINT, I'M JUST DONE WITH IT.
AT THIS POINT, I'M JUST DONE WITH IT.
I'M ALREADY DONE.
WITH IT.
I'M ALREADY DONE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I'M ALREADY DONE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
OH, YEAH, LET'S MAKE THIS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
OH, YEAH, LET'S MAKE THIS WORSE FOR THEM.
OH, YEAH, LET'S MAKE THIS WORSE FOR THEM.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WORSE FOR THEM.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
GUYS, IT'S FREEZING.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
GUYS, IT'S FREEZING.
IT'S 9 DEGREES OUT HERE.
GUYS, IT'S FREEZING.
IT'S 9 DEGREES OUT HERE.
YOU GUYS HANG OUT UP HERE, IT'S 9 DEGREES OUT HERE.
YOU GUYS HANG OUT UP HERE, ALL RIGHT? YOU GUYS HANG OUT UP HERE, ALL RIGHT? ZIP UP.
ALL RIGHT? ZIP UP.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CATCH A ZIP UP.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CATCH A COLD.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CATCH A COLD.
WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE HATS, COLD.
WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE HATS, BY ANY CHANCE? WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE HATS, BY ANY CHANCE? NO.
BY ANY CHANCE? NO.
WHY WOULD I TRADE HATS WITH YOU? NO.
WHY WOULD I TRADE HATS WITH YOU? 'CAUSE I'M COLD, AND YOU'RE WHY WOULD I TRADE HATS WITH YOU? 'CAUSE I'M COLD, AND YOU'RE NOT.
'CAUSE I'M COLD, AND YOU'RE NOT.
YOU WON'T JUST SWITCH WITH ME NOT.
YOU WON'T JUST SWITCH WITH ME FOR 10 MINUTES? YOU WON'T JUST SWITCH WITH ME FOR 10 MINUTES? NO.
FOR 10 MINUTES? NO.
WOULD YOU SWITCH WITH ME? NO.
WOULD YOU SWITCH WITH ME? YEAH, I WOULD SWITCH WITH WOULD YOU SWITCH WITH ME? YEAH, I WOULD SWITCH WITH YOU.
YEAH, I WOULD SWITCH WITH YOU.
YOU WOULD NOT.
YOU.
YOU WOULD NOT.
YES, I WOULD.
YOU WOULD NOT.
YES, I WOULD.
YOU WOULD LOOK AT ME AND YES, I WOULD.
YOU WOULD LOOK AT ME AND YOU'D SAY, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, YOU WOULD LOOK AT ME AND YOU'D SAY, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, MURR.
" YOU'D SAY, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, MURR.
" [ SIGHS .]
MURR.
" [ SIGHS .]
YES.
YOU [BLEEP.]
BROUGHT FOOD.
[ SIGHS .]
YES.
YOU [BLEEP.]
BROUGHT FOOD.
I LOVE IT.
GIVE ME A PIECE.
YES.
YOU [BLEEP.]
BROUGHT FOOD.
I LOVE IT.
GIVE ME A PIECE.
WHAT? I LOVE IT.
GIVE ME A PIECE.
WHAT? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE ME A WHAT? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE ME A PIECE? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE ME A PIECE? I'M NOT GIVING YOU A PIECE OF PIECE? I'M NOT GIVING YOU A PIECE OF THAT.
I'M NOT GIVING YOU A PIECE OF THAT.
ARE YOU NUTS? THAT.
ARE YOU NUTS? GIVE ME MY [BLEEP.]
KIT KAT! ARE YOU NUTS? GIVE ME MY [BLEEP.]
KIT KAT! [BLEEP.]
GIVE ME MY [BLEEP.]
KIT KAT! [BLEEP.]
COME ON! GIVE ME THAT! [BLEEP.]
COME ON! GIVE ME THAT! STOP IT! YOU [BLEEP.]
COME ON! GIVE ME THAT! STOP IT! YOU [BLEEP.]
THAT'S NOT FUNNY! STOP IT! YOU [BLEEP.]
THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! [BLEEP.]
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! [BLEEP.]
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! [BLEEP.]
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! THAT'S MY ONLY FOOD.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! THAT'S MY ONLY FOOD.
HEY, GUYS, WE FELT THE THAT'S MY ONLY FOOD.
HEY, GUYS, WE FELT THE SNOWBALLS DIDN'T PACK THE PUNCH HEY, GUYS, WE FELT THE SNOWBALLS DIDN'T PACK THE PUNCH WE WANTED THEM TO.
SNOWBALLS DIDN'T PACK THE PUNCH WE WANTED THEM TO.
WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS SHOOT YOU WE WANTED THEM TO.
WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS SHOOT YOU WITH A BUNCH OF PAINTBALLS RIGHT WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS SHOOT YOU WITH A BUNCH OF PAINTBALLS RIGHT NOW.
WITH A BUNCH OF PAINTBALLS RIGHT NOW.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
THAT HURTS.
NOW.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
THAT HURTS.
YOU'RE VERY CLOSE.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
THAT HURTS.
YOU'RE VERY CLOSE.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE.
YOU'RE VERY CLOSE.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE.
NO! WHOA! OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE.
NO! WHOA! OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING, LAUGHTER .]
NO! WHOA! OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING, LAUGHTER .]
OH, I'M DEAD SERIOUS! HOLD ON! [BLEEP.]
[BLEEP.]
STOP! GUYS, COME ON! STOP! GUYS, COME ON! CUT THE [BLEEP.]
GUYS, COME ON! CUT THE [BLEEP.]
I MEAN, THIS IS PROBABLY THE CUT THE [BLEEP.]
I MEAN, THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST IDEA WE'VE EVER HAD.
I MEAN, THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST IDEA WE'VE EVER HAD.
ITS BEAUTY IS IN THE BEST IDEA WE'VE EVER HAD.
ITS BEAUTY IS IN THE SIMPLICITY.
ITS BEAUTY IS IN THE SIMPLICITY.
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
MAN?! STOP! SIMPLICITY.
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
MAN?! STOP! BREAK YO SELF! WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
MAN?! STOP! BREAK YO SELF! BREAK YO SELF, FOOL! BREAK YO SELF! BREAK YO SELF, FOOL! BREAK YO SELF, FOOL!
CRISIS? BILLTHE COSBY.
WHAT? BILLTHE COSBY.
WHAT? Narrator: WHY IS SAL ACTING WHAT? Narrator: WHY IS SAL ACTING LIKE A BULL IN A LIQUOR SHOP? Narrator: WHY IS SAL ACTING LIKE A BULL IN A LIQUOR SHOP? OLé! LIKE A BULL IN A LIQUOR SHOP? OLé! [ LAUGHTER .]
OLé! [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHICH TWO [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WHICH TWO JOKERS ARE LEFT HANGING IN Narrator: AND WHICH TWO JOKERS ARE LEFT HANGING IN TONIGHT'S BIG DOUBLE PUNISHMENT? JOKERS ARE LEFT HANGING IN TONIGHT'S BIG DOUBLE PUNISHMENT? [ BOTH SCREAM .]
TONIGHT'S BIG DOUBLE PUNISHMENT? [ BOTH SCREAM .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING [ BOTH SCREAM .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? AMAZING.
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! [ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! [ LAUGHTER .]
TODAY, WE'RE AT SUPER BUY RITE LIQUOR STORE SUPER BUY RITE LIQUOR STORE SELLING SPIRITS TO CUSTOMERS.
SELLING SPIRITS TO CUSTOMERS.
AS WE'RE ASSISTING THE AS WE'RE ASSISTING THE CUSTOMERS, WE MUST DO AND SAY CUSTOMERS, WE MUST DO AND SAY WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
IF YOU BOOZE, YOU LOSE.
IF YOU BOOZE, YOU LOSE.
WAIT.
WAIT.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
GIVE ME THE BOOZE.
GIVE ME THE BOOZE.
GIVE ME GIVE ME HOLD THIS.
DON'T.
HOLD THIS.
DON'T.
I'LL HOLD IT.
I'LL HOLD IT.
YOU'RE REALLY DOING A BANG-UP YOU'RE REALLY DOING A BANG-UP JOB OUT THERE, MURR.
JOB OUT THERE, MURR.
THIS ALCOHOL'S NOT GONNA THIS ALCOHOL'S NOT GONNA STOCK ITSELF, GUYS.
STOCK ITSELF, GUYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? I ACTUALLY USED TO WORK AS A I ACTUALLY USED TO WORK AS A STOCK GUY.
STOCK GUY.
I KNOW.
I KNOW.
I USED TO WORK WITH YOU.
YOU GOT FIRED.
I USED TO WORK WITH YOU.
YOU GOT FIRED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU GOT FIRED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING? [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING? HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES, CAN I HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING? HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES.
HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES, HERE HE GOES.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS HERE HE GOES.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS BEFORE? HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS BEFORE? NO, I HAVE NOT.
BEFORE? NO, I HAVE NOT.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
NO, I HAVE NOT.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
DEFINITELY TRY THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
DEFINITELY TRY THAT.
YEAH, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY TRY THAT.
YEAH, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, YEAH, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY.
TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND, TAKE DEFINITELY.
TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND, TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND.
TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND, TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HAND.
THE OTHER ONE IT OUT OF HIS HAND.
THE OTHER ONE [ LAUGHTER .]
THE OTHER ONE [ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S A BELGIAN BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S A BELGIAN BEER.
IT'S SO, SO, SO TASTY.
IT'S A BELGIAN BEER.
IT'S SO, SO, SO TASTY.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S SO, SO, SO TASTY.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M PICKING UP A BUNCH OF I DON'T KNOW.
I'M PICKING UP A BUNCH OF STUFF, SO WHY NOT? I'M PICKING UP A BUNCH OF STUFF, SO WHY NOT? YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
STUFF, SO WHY NOT? YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
IT'S REALLY TASTY.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
IT'S REALLY TASTY.
TAKE THAT OUT OF HIS BASKET, IT'S REALLY TASTY.
TAKE THAT OUT OF HIS BASKET, PUT IT RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS.
TAKE THAT OUT OF HIS BASKET, PUT IT RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PUT IT RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
USUALLY, I DRINK I.
P.
A.
s.
[ LAUGHTER .]
USUALLY, I DRINK I.
P.
A.
s.
I.
P.
A.
s? USUALLY, I DRINK I.
P.
A.
s.
I.
P.
A.
s? YEAH.
I.
P.
A.
s? YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY THIS CART.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY THIS CART.
VERY COOL.
ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY THIS CART.
VERY COOL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
VERY COOL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HAVE YOU EVER HAD THESE, BY THE [ LAUGHTER .]
HAVE YOU EVER HAD THESE, BY THE WAY? HAVE YOU EVER HAD THESE, BY THE WAY? GIVE IT A TRY.
WAY? GIVE IT A TRY.
MURRAY, GO GET THAT AND PUT GIVE IT A TRY.
MURRAY, GO GET THAT AND PUT IT BACK, BUDDY.
MURRAY, GO GET THAT AND PUT IT BACK, BUDDY.
OH, YOU SAID PRIMARILY WHAT? IT BACK, BUDDY.
OH, YOU SAID PRIMARILY WHAT? I.
P.
A.
s, MOSTLY.
OH, YOU SAID PRIMARILY WHAT? I.
P.
A.
s, MOSTLY.
OH, GREAT.
I.
P.
A.
s, MOSTLY.
OH, GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE'S DONE WITH YOU, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE'S DONE WITH YOU, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE'S DONE WITH YOU, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY, READY, MURR? [ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY, READY, MURR? ONLY SPEAK IN FALSETTO.
OKAY, READY, MURR? ONLY SPEAK IN FALSETTO.
[ High-pitched .]
YOU GOT A ONLY SPEAK IN FALSETTO.
[ High-pitched .]
YOU GOT A PARTY COMING UP? [ High-pitched .]
YOU GOT A PARTY COMING UP? I ALWAYS HAVE A PARTY COMING PARTY COMING UP? I ALWAYS HAVE A PARTY COMING UP.
I ALWAYS HAVE A PARTY COMING UP.
[ LAUGHS .]
UP.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNESS, STELLA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNESS, STELLA.
GUINNESS? GUINNESS, STELLA.
GUINNESS? [ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNESS? [ LAUGHTER .]
I LOVE GUINNESS, TOO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I LOVE GUINNESS, TOO.
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
I LOVE GUINNESS, TOO.
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
NOTHING LIKE GOING OUT WITH THE IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
NOTHING LIKE GOING OUT WITH THE BOYS AND JUST POUNDING A NOTHING LIKE GOING OUT WITH THE BOYS AND JUST POUNDING A GUINNESS, YOU KNOW? BOYS AND JUST POUNDING A GUINNESS, YOU KNOW? [ LAUGHTER .]
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY BAR FIGHTS I'VE BEEN IN FROM POUNDING GUINNESES -- GUINNI -- FIGHTS I'VE BEEN IN FROM POUNDING GUINNESES -- GUINNI -- GUINNIE.
POUNDING GUINNESES -- GUINNI -- GUINNIE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUINNIE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HE'S WALKING AWAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HE'S WALKING AWAY.
HIDEY HO! SEE YOU SOON! OH, HE'S WALKING AWAY.
HIDEY HO! SEE YOU SOON! [ LAUGHTER .]
HIDEY HO! SEE YOU SOON! [ LAUGHTER .]
I FEEL LIKE A [BLEEP.]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I FEEL LIKE A [BLEEP.]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I FEEL LIKE A [BLEEP.]
IDIOT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHERE IS JOE? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHERE IS JOE? DO YOU NEED HELP OR WHERE IS JOE? DO YOU NEED HELP OR WHAT'D YOU NEED? DO YOU NEED HELP OR WHAT'D YOU NEED? KIRIN.
WHAT'D YOU NEED? KIRIN.
KIRIN.
KIRIN.
KIRIN.
YEAH.
KIRIN.
YEAH.
[ LAUGHS .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHS .]
YEAH, BOURBON'S RIGHT UP YEAH, BOURBON'S RIGHT UP HERE.
OH.
HERE.
OH.
JOE, NEVER FIND IT.
OH.
JOE, NEVER FIND IT.
THEY'LL FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE.
JOE, NEVER FIND IT.
THEY'LL FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY'LL FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
RIGHT HERE, BUD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
RIGHT HERE, BUD.
OH, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
RIGHT HERE, BUD.
OH, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
THERE YOU GO.
UH OH, NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
THERE YOU GO.
UH OH, THAT'S NOT IT, THAT'S NOT THERE YOU GO.
UH OH, THAT'S NOT IT, THAT'S NOT IT.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT, THAT'S NOT IT.
NO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT.
NO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THEY DID IT OVER HERE NOW.
NO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THEY DID IT OVER HERE NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY DID IT OVER HERE NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO.
THEY PUT IT DOWN IN THE [ LAUGHTER .]
NO.
THEY PUT IT DOWN IN THE BACK.
NO.
THEY PUT IT DOWN IN THE BACK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BACK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HERE IT IS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HERE IT IS.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, HERE IT IS.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT.
RIGHT HERE.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT.
THAT'S THE PBR.
OH, THAT'S NOT IT.
THAT'S THE PBR.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S THE PBR.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING HIM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING HIM.
JOE, NOW YOU FOLLOW THEM -- AS THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING HIM.
JOE, NOW YOU FOLLOW THEM -- AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
JOE, NOW YOU FOLLOW THEM -- AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
[ LAUGHS .]
THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED.
[ LAUGHS .]
THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED.
YEAH, JOE, JOE, RIGHT BEHIND THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED.
YEAH, JOE, JOE, RIGHT BEHIND HIM.
YEAH, JOE, JOE, RIGHT BEHIND HIM.
THEY MOVE IT ALL AROUND, YOU HIM.
THEY MOVE IT ALL AROUND, YOU KNOW? THEY MOVE IT ALL AROUND, YOU KNOW? FOR THE HOLIDAYS, IT'S HARD TO KNOW? FOR THE HOLIDAYS, IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK, 'CAUSE THEY CARRY SO FOR THE HOLIDAYS, IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK, 'CAUSE THEY CARRY SO MANY.
KEEP TRACK, 'CAUSE THEY CARRY SO MANY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MANY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE DON'T HAVE IT, MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE DON'T HAVE IT, MAN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
WE DON'T HAVE IT, MAN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
THAT GUY'S BACK.
OH [BLEEP.]
THAT GUY'S BACK.
THE GUY WITH THE RED HOODIE.
THAT GUY'S BACK.
THE GUY WITH THE RED HOODIE.
HE'S IN HERE EVERY WEEK.
THE GUY WITH THE RED HOODIE.
HE'S IN HERE EVERY WEEK.
HE ASKS IF I'M WORKING.
HE'S IN HERE EVERY WEEK.
HE ASKS IF I'M WORKING.
I WALK INTO MY BUILDING, HE'S HE ASKS IF I'M WORKING.
I WALK INTO MY BUILDING, HE'S STANDING THERE.
I WALK INTO MY BUILDING, HE'S STANDING THERE.
HE'S LIKE, "WELL, HOW YOU BEEN?" STANDING THERE.
HE'S LIKE, "WELL, HOW YOU BEEN?" I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW HE'S LIKE, "WELL, HOW YOU BEEN?" I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW HAVE I BEEN?" I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW HAVE I BEEN?" I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I KNEW HIM HAVE I BEEN?" I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I KNEW HIM FROM.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I KNEW HIM FROM.
POPS UP LAST WEEK AT MY NIECE'S FROM.
POPS UP LAST WEEK AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
POPS UP LAST WEEK AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
NO WAY.
COMMUNION.
NO WAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
NO WAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DOESN'T EVEN DRINK.
[ LAUGHS .]
HE DOESN'T EVEN DRINK.
HE SHOWED UP AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S HE DOESN'T EVEN DRINK.
HE SHOWED UP AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND TRIED TO STEAL HE SHOWED UP AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND TRIED TO STEAL HER PUDDING.
NURSING HOME AND TRIED TO STEAL HER PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HER PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, HE'S LOOKING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JOE, HE'S LOOKING.
DUCK DOWN BEHIND THIS GUY.
JOE, HE'S LOOKING.
DUCK DOWN BEHIND THIS GUY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DUCK DOWN BEHIND THIS GUY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IF THE COPS NEED A WITNESS, [ LAUGHTER .]
IF THE COPS NEED A WITNESS, YOU'RE DOWN, RIGHT? IF THE COPS NEED A WITNESS, YOU'RE DOWN, RIGHT? IF THE COPS A WITNESS THAT HE YOU'RE DOWN, RIGHT? IF THE COPS A WITNESS THAT HE SHOWED UP, YOU'RE DOWN? IF THE COPS A WITNESS THAT HE SHOWED UP, YOU'RE DOWN? WHAT? SHOWED UP, YOU'RE DOWN? WHAT? 'CAUSE I HAVE A RESTRAINING WHAT? 'CAUSE I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER, LIKE, PENDING.
'CAUSE I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER, LIKE, PENDING.
HE'S CRAZY.
ORDER, LIKE, PENDING.
HE'S CRAZY.
HE'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
HE'S CRAZY.
HE'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
NOW HAVE THE SAME HE'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
NOW HAVE THE SAME CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY THAT NOW HAVE THE SAME CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY THAT WAS FOLLOWING YOU.
CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY THAT WAS FOLLOWING YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
WAS FOLLOWING YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY? [ LAUGHS .]
HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY? YOU DOING ALL RIGHT? HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY? YOU DOING ALL RIGHT? FIND EVERYTHING OKAY? YOU DOING ALL RIGHT? FIND EVERYTHING OKAY? YEAH, YEAH.
FIND EVERYTHING OKAY? YEAH, YEAH.
OH [BLEEP.]
YEAH, YEAH.
OH [BLEEP.]
THIS GUY'S BACK HERE.
OH [BLEEP.]
THIS GUY'S BACK HERE.
THIS GUY'S BEEN FOLLOWING ME.
THIS GUY'S BACK HERE.
THIS GUY'S BEEN FOLLOWING ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS GUY'S BEEN FOLLOWING ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE SHOWS UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE SHOWS UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
AND I COME OUT OF MY BUILDING, HE SHOWS UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
AND I COME OUT OF MY BUILDING, AND HE'S OUT FRONT.
AND I COME OUT OF MY BUILDING, AND HE'S OUT FRONT.
AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT'S UP?" AND HE'S OUT FRONT.
AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT'S UP?" AND I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT'S UP?" AND I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW YOU.
" AND I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW YOU.
" TWO WEEKS LATER, I'M AT MY YOU.
" TWO WEEKS LATER, I'M AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
TWO WEEKS LATER, I'M AT MY NIECE'S COMMUNION.
HE'S IN THE CHURCH.
NIECE'S COMMUNION.
HE'S IN THE CHURCH.
I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU HAVE FAMILY HE'S IN THE CHURCH.
I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU HAVE FAMILY HERE?" I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU HAVE FAMILY HERE?" HE'S LIKE, "NO.
" HERE?" HE'S LIKE, "NO.
" HE SHOWED AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S HE'S LIKE, "NO.
" HE SHOWED AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND ASKED FOR HER HE SHOWED AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S NURSING HOME AND ASKED FOR HER PUDDING.
NURSING HOME AND ASKED FOR HER PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PUDDING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER [ LAUGHTER .]
I GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER PENDING, IF YOU'D LIKE TO -- YOU I GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER PENDING, IF YOU'D LIKE TO -- YOU KNOW, IF I COULD USE YOU AS A PENDING, IF YOU'D LIKE TO -- YOU KNOW, IF I COULD USE YOU AS A WITNESS.
KNOW, IF I COULD USE YOU AS A WITNESS.
YEAH, YEAH.
WITNESS.
YEAH, YEAH.
COOL.
THANKS, DUDE.
YEAH, YEAH.
COOL.
THANKS, DUDE.
GOOD LUCK.
COOL.
THANKS, DUDE.
GOOD LUCK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUYS, I'M PRETTY SURE I'M BEING FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOLLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SAL, DO THE THING -- "YOU GOT [ LAUGHTER .]
SAL, DO THE THING -- "YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR SHIRT, SAL, DO THE THING -- "YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR SHIRT, BOOP!" -- TO THIS GUY'S NOSE.
SOMETHING ON YOUR SHIRT, BOOP!" -- TO THIS GUY'S NOSE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BOOP!" -- TO THIS GUY'S NOSE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU HAVE, UH YOU HAVE, UH BOOP! OH.
BOOP! OH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! THAT'S SO STUPID.
OH, MY GOD! THAT'S SO STUPID.
SO STUPID.
THAT'S SO STUPID.
SO STUPID.
SAL, YOU SEE THIS GUY OVER SO STUPID.
SAL, YOU SEE THIS GUY OVER THERE? SAL, YOU SEE THIS GUY OVER THERE? CHARGE THIS GUY AS FAST AS YOU THERE? CHARGE THIS GUY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
CHARGE THIS GUY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GO! [ LAUGHTER .]
GO! OLé! GO! OLé! [ LAUGHTER .]
SAL, THIS GUY'S GOT A HOOD ON IN THE BACK.
GO OVER TO HIM, PULL HIS HOOD IN THE BACK.
GO OVER TO HIM, PULL HIS HOOD DOWN, AND GO, "NOT INSIDE.
" GO OVER TO HIM, PULL HIS HOOD DOWN, AND GO, "NOT INSIDE.
" OH, MY GOD.
DOWN, AND GO, "NOT INSIDE.
" OH, MY GOD.
OOH! OH, MY GOD.
OOH! EXCUSE ME, SIR? OOH! EXCUSE ME, SIR? YEAH? EXCUSE ME, SIR? YEAH? WE HAVE THE POLICY OF THE YEAH? WE HAVE THE POLICY OF THE STORE HERE WE HAVE THE POLICY OF THE STORE HERE MM-HMM.
STORE HERE MM-HMM.
LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO -- MM-HMM.
LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO -- THIS ONE HERE -- BUT THIS, LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO -- THIS ONE HERE -- BUT THIS, THOUGH, NOT INSIDE.
THIS ONE HERE -- BUT THIS, THOUGH, NOT INSIDE.
OH, OKAY.
THOUGH, NOT INSIDE.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH, YEAH.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH, YEAH.
WATCH THE HAIR.
YEAH, YEAH.
WATCH THE HAIR.
OH, I'M SORRY.
LOOKS GREAT.
WATCH THE HAIR.
OH, I'M SORRY.
LOOKS GREAT.
THANK YOU.
OH, I'M SORRY.
LOOKS GREAT.
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HELP WITH ANYTHING? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? OKAY.
YOU SEEM INSECURE.
WHAT'S WRONG? OKAY.
'CAUSE I MISSED MY THERAPIST WHAT'S WRONG? OKAY.
'CAUSE I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY.
'CAUSE I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY.
I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY.
I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY, SO I MISSED MY THERAPIST APPOINTMENT TODAY, SO [ LAUGHTER .]
APPOINTMENT TODAY, SO [ LAUGHTER .]
START LISTING ALL YOUR [ LAUGHTER .]
START LISTING ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, BUDDY.
START LISTING ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, BUDDY.
I GOT PROBLEMS, IF YOU WANT PROBLEMS, BUDDY.
I GOT PROBLEMS, IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN.
I GOT PROBLEMS, IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TO LISTEN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LET ME START WITH MY SISTER.
LET ME START WITH MY SISTER.
OOH.
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK WITH HER.
OOH.
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK WITH HER.
"PLEASE COME PICK ME UP.
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK WITH HER.
"PLEASE COME PICK ME UP.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
" "PLEASE COME PICK ME UP.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
[ LAUGHS .]
I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
[ LAUGHS .]
"I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD [ LAUGHS .]
"I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
" "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE DAD IS.
" AND THERE'S MY MOM.
IS.
" AND THERE'S MY MOM.
"CAN I BORROW MONEY? AND THERE'S MY MOM.
"CAN I BORROW MONEY? WORK IS TERRIBLE.
" "CAN I BORROW MONEY? WORK IS TERRIBLE.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER WORK IS TERRIBLE.
" I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
" "I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS.
" WOW.
IS.
" WOW.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WOW.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY GRANDPARENTS.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY GRANDPARENTS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M GONNA FIND YOU THE WINE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING? ACTUALLY, I KNEW SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY, I KNEW SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU.
LOOKS LIKE YOU.
I KNEW SOMEONE, ACTUALLY, I KNEW SOMEONE, ACTUALLY, THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU.
THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU.
A LOT LIKE YOU, ACTUALLY.
A LOT LIKE YOU, ACTUALLY.
YEAH, YOU KNOW YEAH, YOU KNOW "FOREHEAD DAVIS"? DO YOU KNOW "FOREHEAD DAVIS"? DO YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER .]
DO YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JESS.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JESS.
OH, OKAY.
NO, NO.
JESS.
OH, OKAY.
NO, NO.
WE CALL HIM FOREHEAD DAVIS OH, OKAY.
NO, NO.
WE CALL HIM FOREHEAD DAVIS OKAY.
WE CALL HIM FOREHEAD DAVIS OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK [ LAUGHTER .]
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY WIFE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING, SIR? NO.
SIR? NO.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DRINK? NO.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DRINK? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I'M THE SAME WAY, TOO.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME I'M THE SAME WAY, TOO.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE NEWS.
FROM THE NEWS.
NO.
FROM THE NEWS.
FROM THE NEWS.
NO.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT FROM THE NEWS.
NO.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DOG.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT [ LAUGHTER .]
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
I'M THE GUY THAT ATE THAT DOG.
ATE THE DOG.
DOG.
ATE THE DOG.
YEAH.
ATE THE DOG.
YEAH.
MY HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE A PORK YEAH.
MY HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY HUSBAND -- HE LOOKS LIKE A CHOP.
MY HUSBAND -- HE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
MY HUSBAND -- HE LOOKS LIKE A PORK CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PORK CHOP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ANYWAY, I'LL GET YOU THAT BEER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Q, GRAB THOSE PING-PONG [ LAUGHTER .]
Q, GRAB THOSE PING-PONG BALLS.
Q, GRAB THOSE PING-PONG BALLS.
YOU SEE THE BIG GUY THERE WITH BALLS.
YOU SEE THE BIG GUY THERE WITH THE BLUE HAT? YOU SEE THE BIG GUY THERE WITH THE BLUE HAT? OH, DUDE, I THE BLUE HAT? OH, DUDE, I DUCK BEHIND THE BEER AND OH, DUDE, I DUCK BEHIND THE BEER AND THROW A PING-PONG BALL OVER THE DUCK BEHIND THE BEER AND THROW A PING-PONG BALL OVER THE BEER AND HIT HIM.
THROW A PING-PONG BALL OVER THE BEER AND HIT HIM.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? BEER AND HIT HIM.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? [ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW THROW SIX OF THEM AT HIM, THE WHOLE CASE.
NOW THROW SIX OF THEM AT HIM, THE WHOLE CASE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING FUN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT.
SAL JUST DID A TRUST FALL SAL JUST DID A TRUST FALL BACK HERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BACK HERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: POP THE CHAMPAGNE, [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: POP THE CHAMPAGNE, 'CAUSE ALL FOUR JOKERS STAYED Narrator: POP THE CHAMPAGNE, 'CAUSE ALL FOUR JOKERS STAYED OFF THE LOSER BOARD.
'CAUSE ALL FOUR JOKERS STAYED OFF THE LOSER BOARD.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AT THE OFF THE LOSER BOARD.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AT THE BUTCHER AND YOU GOT TO PULL A YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AT THE BUTCHER AND YOU GOT TO PULL A NUMBER TO BE SERVED? BUTCHER AND YOU GOT TO PULL A NUMBER TO BE SERVED? WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING NUMBER TO BE SERVED? WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY WITH "THESE AIN'T YOUR WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY WITH "THESE AIN'T YOUR MAMA'S TICKETS.
" TODAY WITH "THESE AIN'T YOUR MAMA'S TICKETS.
" ON THE BACK OF THESE, THERE MAMA'S TICKETS.
" ON THE BACK OF THESE, THERE ARE SPECIFIC TASKS THAT WE MUST ON THE BACK OF THESE, THERE ARE SPECIFIC TASKS THAT WE MUST COMPLETE.
THE GOAL IS TO DO WHATEVER IT SAYS ON THE BACK OF YOUR TICKET, SAYS ON THE BACK OF YOUR TICKET, AND IF YOU CAN'T, YOU'RE DEAD AND IF YOU CAN'T, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT.
MEAT.
BUTCHER JOKE! BUTCHER JOKE! ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
YEP.
YEP.
WHAT DO YOU GOT? WHAT DO YOU GOT? "PUT HAND INSIDE SOMEONE'S "PUT HAND INSIDE SOMEONE'S SHIRT.
" SHIRT.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
LIKE, PROM NIGHT, BRO.
LIKE, PROM NIGHT, BRO.
GET YOUR HAND RIGHT IN THAT GET YOUR HAND RIGHT IN THAT SHIRT.
SHIRT.
OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, EVERYONE OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, EVERYONE HERE IS IN A WINTER COAT WITH A TURTLENECK AND A SCARF.
HERE IS IN A WINTER COAT WITH A TURTLENECK AND A SCARF.
SAL, YOU'RE DESCRIBING TURTLENECK AND A SCARF.
SAL, YOU'RE DESCRIBING PROBLEMS THAT DON'T MATTER TO SAL, YOU'RE DESCRIBING PROBLEMS THAT DON'T MATTER TO ME, BUDDY.
PROBLEMS THAT DON'T MATTER TO ME, BUDDY.
IT DON'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL, ME, BUDDY.
IT DON'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL, BUDDY.
IT DON'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL, BUDDY.
DO, DO, DO, DO BUDDY.
DO, DO, DO, DO I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT DO, DO, DO, DO I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ Laughing .]
RIGHT? SHIRT [ Laughing .]
RIGHT? I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ Laughing .]
RIGHT? I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I LOVE THAT SONG.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I LOVE THAT SONG.
PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I LOVE THAT SONG.
PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER, BUDDY.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GET PEOPLE'S YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER, BUDDY.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION.
IF THEY SING ALONG, THEY ATTENTION.
IF THEY SING ALONG, THEY MIGHT LET YOU DO IT.
IF THEY SING ALONG, THEY MIGHT LET YOU DO IT.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR MIGHT LET YOU DO IT.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT HEY, I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT THAT ARM.
SHIRT THAT ARM.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT ARM? THAT ARM.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT ARM? PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT ARM? PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT YOU KNOW THAT SONG? SHIRT YOU KNOW THAT SONG? I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
YOU KNOW THAT SONG? I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT ALL RIGHT.
WOW.
I PUT MY HAND IN YOUR SHIRT ALL RIGHT.
WOW.
YOUR SONG AND DANCE ISN'T ALL RIGHT.
WOW.
YOUR SONG AND DANCE ISN'T WORKING, BUDDY.
YOUR SONG AND DANCE ISN'T WORKING, BUDDY.
YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE.
WORKING, BUDDY.
YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE.
HOW ARE THE WINGS, BY THE WAY? YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE.
HOW ARE THE WINGS, BY THE WAY? GOOD.
GOOD.
HOW ARE THE WINGS, BY THE WAY? GOOD.
GOOD.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR ON GOOD.
GOOD.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY, THOSE WILL IF YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY, THOSE WILL PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST.
YOUR CHEST ALREADY, THOSE WILL PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST.
THAT'S WHAT MY GRANDFATHER SAID.
PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST.
THAT'S WHAT MY GRANDFATHER SAID.
[ CHUCKLES .]
THAT'S WHAT MY GRANDFATHER SAID.
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE COMES THE WHERE YOU TRY TO [ LAUGHTER .]
HE COMES THE WHERE YOU TRY TO MAKE IT WEIRD AND ACCEPTABLE.
HE COMES THE WHERE YOU TRY TO MAKE IT WEIRD AND ACCEPTABLE.
YOU GOT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST MAKE IT WEIRD AND ACCEPTABLE.
YOU GOT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY OR NO? YOU GOT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST ALREADY OR NO? YEAH.
ALREADY OR NO? YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOW WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
NOW WHAT? WHAT ARE THE ODDS I COULD -- NOW WHAT? WHAT ARE THE ODDS I COULD -- I COULD WHAT ARE THE ODDS I COULD -- I COULD WHAT ARE THE ODDS I CAN JUST I COULD WHAT ARE THE ODDS I CAN JUST FEEL YOUR CHEST, FEEL WHAT KIND WHAT ARE THE ODDS I CAN JUST FEEL YOUR CHEST, FEEL WHAT KIND OF HAIR YOU GOT THERE? FEEL YOUR CHEST, FEEL WHAT KIND OF HAIR YOU GOT THERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
OF HAIR YOU GOT THERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
NOT A CHANCE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NOT A CHANCE.
OKAY.
NOT A CHANCE.
OKAY.
WOW! OKAY.
WOW! CAN I GET SOME CHICKENS DOWN WOW! CAN I GET SOME CHICKENS DOWN HERE? CAN I GET SOME CHICKENS DOWN HERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
HERE? [ LAUGHTER .]
A SPECTACULAR FAIL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHS .]
WHICH ONE DID YOU GET? [ LAUGHS .]
WHICH ONE DID YOU GET? WHAT'D YOU GET? WHICH ONE DID YOU GET? WHAT'D YOU GET? "CRAWL THROUGH SOMEONE'S WHAT'D YOU GET? "CRAWL THROUGH SOMEONE'S LEGS.
" "CRAWL THROUGH SOMEONE'S LEGS.
" YEAH! ALL RIGHT.
LEGS.
" YEAH! ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S TOUGHER THAN IT YEAH! ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S TOUGHER THAN IT SOUNDS.
THAT'S TOUGHER THAN IT SOUNDS.
WELL, YEAH, 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE WELL, YEAH, 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE GONNA MOVE, RIGHT? HE'S PLANTING IT.
GONNA MOVE, RIGHT? HE'S PLANTING IT.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF HE'S PLANTING IT.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF BEEF? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF BEEF? RIB EYE.
BEEF? RIB EYE.
HOW DO YOU COOK IT, THOUGH? RIB EYE.
HOW DO YOU COOK IT, THOUGH? GRILL, GRILL, GRILL.
HOW DO YOU COOK IT, THOUGH? GRILL, GRILL, GRILL.
YOU WANT TO GO WITH GRILL, GRILL, GRILL.
YOU WANT TO GO WITH OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
YOU WANT TO GO WITH OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I PREFER, LIKE, MEDIUM.
YEAH, BUT NOW WHAT? WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THIS GUY? YEAH, BUT NOW WHAT? WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THIS GUY? YOU HAVE NOTHING NOW.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THIS GUY? YOU HAVE NOTHING NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU HAVE NOTHING NOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
DROPPED MY TEA.
OH [BLEEP.]
DROPPED MY TEA.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
DROPPED MY TEA.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
I'LL GET IT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
I'LL GET IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'LL GET IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOILED AGAIN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOILED AGAIN.
THANK YOU.
FOILED AGAIN.
THANK YOU.
OH, SHOOT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
THANK YOU.
OH, SHOOT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
LET ME JUSTRIGHT THROUGH OH, SHOOT.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
LET ME JUSTRIGHT THROUGH HERE.
LET ME JUSTRIGHT THROUGH HERE.
GOT IT.
GOT THE TEA.
HERE.
GOT IT.
GOT THE TEA.
ALL RIGHT.
GOT IT.
GOT THE TEA.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GO HOME AND MAKE THIS ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GO HOME AND MAKE THIS STEAK.
I'M GONNA GO HOME AND MAKE THIS STEAK.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
STEAK.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT SOMEHOW.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT.
HE ALWAYS DOES IT SOMEHOW.
WOW! I'M IMPRESSED.
HOW DO YOU FEEL, DUDE? INTIMIDATED BY THAT THING? HOW DO YOU FEEL, DUDE? INTIMIDATED BY THAT THING? A LITTLE BIT, ACTUALLY.
INTIMIDATED BY THAT THING? A LITTLE BIT, ACTUALLY.
[ LAUGHS .]
A LITTLE BIT, ACTUALLY.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
"SMELL A FINGER.
" [ LAUGHS .]
"SMELL A FINGER.
" NOT YOUR OWN, NOT YOUR OWN.
"SMELL A FINGER.
" NOT YOUR OWN, NOT YOUR OWN.
NOT YOUR OWN.
NOT YOUR OWN, NOT YOUR OWN.
NOT YOUR OWN.
IT COULD BY ANY FINGER.
IT COULD BY ANY FINGER.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A HUMAN FINGER.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A HUMAN FINGER.
WHO ELSE HAS A FINGER? FINGER.
WHO ELSE HAS A FINGER? PANDA BEARS.
WHO ELSE HAS A FINGER? PANDA BEARS.
[ SNIFFS .]
PANDA BEARS.
[ SNIFFS .]
YOU GUYS -- YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? [ SNIFFS .]
YOU GUYS -- YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? SMELL WHAT? YOU GUYS -- YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? SMELL WHAT? IT'S A FINGER.
SMELL WHAT? IT'S A FINGER.
[ SNIFFING .]
YOU DIDN'T GET IT, YOU DIDN'T GET IT.
LOOK AT HER FACE.
GET IT.
LOOK AT HER FACE.
HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT, HE GOT LOOK AT HER FACE.
HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT.
HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT, HE GOT IT.
IT'S DELICIOUS.
IT.
IT'S DELICIOUS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH-HO! HERE WE GO.
WHAT DO YOU GOT, Q? HERE WE GO.
WHAT DO YOU GOT, Q? COMPLETELY DESTROY SOMETHING WHAT DO YOU GOT, Q? COMPLETELY DESTROY SOMETHING IN SOMEONE'S CART.
COMPLETELY DESTROY SOMETHING IN SOMEONE'S CART.
OH-HO! IN SOMEONE'S CART.
OH-HO! DESTROY.
OH-HO! DESTROY.
Q, DESTROY.
Q, DESTROY.
Q SMASH! Q -- WINGS.
Q SMASH! Q -- WINGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Q -- WINGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY NERVE-RACKING.
THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY NERVE-RACKING.
IT'S SUPER-AGGRESSIVE.
NERVE-RACKING.
IT'S SUPER-AGGRESSIVE.
ANYTIME THE WORD "DESTROY" IS IT'S SUPER-AGGRESSIVE.
ANYTIME THE WORD "DESTROY" IS IN THE INSTRUCTION, IT'S HARD TO ANYTIME THE WORD "DESTROY" IS IN THE INSTRUCTION, IT'S HARD TO DO.
IN THE INSTRUCTION, IT'S HARD TO DO.
[ BURPS LOUDLY .]
EXCUSE ME.
YEAH? SANTIAGO SENT ME.
YEAH? SANTIAGO SENT ME.
OH, LET ME SEE WHERE HE'S SANTIAGO SENT ME.
OH, LET ME SEE WHERE HE'S GOING.
OH, LET ME SEE WHERE HE'S GOING.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
GOING.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU.
AND HE TOLD ME -- AND HE TOLD HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU.
AND HE TOLD ME -- AND HE TOLD ME -- HE TOLD ME TO SEND A AND HE TOLD ME -- AND HE TOLD ME -- HE TOLD ME TO SEND A MESSAGE.
ME -- HE TOLD ME TO SEND A MESSAGE.
SANTIAGO WANTS HIS MONEY.
SANTIAGO IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH.
OH, MY GOD! WITH.
OH, MY GOD! SANTIAGO IS BACK, BABY! OH, MY GOD! SANTIAGO IS BACK, BABY! [ LAUGHTER .]
SANTIAGO IS BACK, BABY! [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: SAL GOT A TICKET TO [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: SAL GOT A TICKET TO RIDE STRAIGHT TO THE LOSER Narrator: SAL GOT A TICKET TO RIDE STRAIGHT TO THE LOSER BOARD.
RIDE STRAIGHT TO THE LOSER BOARD.
WE'RE ON THE STREETS TRYING BOARD.
WE'RE ON THE STREETS TRYING TO COLLECT SIGNATURES TO GET A WE'RE ON THE STREETS TRYING TO COLLECT SIGNATURES TO GET A BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY OFFICIALLY TO COLLECT SIGNATURES TO GET A BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED.
BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED.
BUT WE DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF RECOGNIZED.
BUT WE DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE HOLIDAY BECAUSE IT'S BEEN BUT WE DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE HOLIDAY BECAUSE IT'S BEEN CREATED BY THE OTHER GUYS.
IF YOU CAN'T GET SOMEONE TO SIGN IN SUPPORT OF YOUR HOLIDAY, SIGN IN SUPPORT OF YOUR HOLIDAY, YOU LOSE.
YOU LOSE.
TODAY IS SMACK MURR DAY.
TODAY IS SMACK MURR DAY.
WAIT.
WHAT? WAIT.
WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S JOE AND MURR IN A IT'S JOE AND MURR IN A JOKER vs.
JOKER CHALLENGE.
JOKER vs.
JOKER CHALLENGE.
HEY, GUYS.
HEY, GUYS.
I'M OUT HERE COLLECTING SOME I'M OUT HERE COLLECTING SOME SIGNATURES FOR A NEW NATIONAL SIGNATURES FOR A NEW NATIONAL HOLIDAY FOR THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
HOLIDAY FOR THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
I WONDER IF YOU HAD TWO SECONDS.
I WONDER IF YOU HAD TWO SECONDS.
THE HOLIDAY IS REVERSE THE HOLIDAY IS REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH WHAT IS THAT DAY? YEAH WHAT IS THAT DAY? OH, YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE OH, YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX? REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX? REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX? REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN PEOPLE REALIZE THAT, "HEY, MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN PEOPLE REALIZE THAT, "HEY, REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE PEOPLE REALIZE THAT, "HEY, REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX IS GOING ON AROUND HERE.
" REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX IS GOING ON AROUND HERE.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND IT'S SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND IT'S SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE [ LAUGHTER .]
REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX NORMALLY FALLS ON A REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX NORMALLY FALLS ON A WEDNESDAY.
MATRIX NORMALLY FALLS ON A WEDNESDAY.
SO NOW WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE WEDNESDAY.
SO NOW WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE REALIZE IT ON A SUNDAY, SO NOW WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE REALIZE IT ON A SUNDAY, BECAUSE REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PEOPLE REALIZE IT ON A SUNDAY, BECAUSE REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY BECAUSE REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN THEY'RE ALL GOING OUT IN PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY IS WHEN THEY'RE ALL GOING OUT IN THE MATRIX, THE PARTICLE, THE IS WHEN THEY'RE ALL GOING OUT IN THE MATRIX, THE PARTICLE, THE REVERSE HYPERKINETICAL PARTICLE THE MATRIX, THE PARTICLE, THE REVERSE HYPERKINETICAL PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
REVERSE HYPERKINETICAL PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M OUT HERE BUSTING MY HUMP, [ LAUGHTER .]
I'M OUT HERE BUSTING MY HUMP, FREEZING MY CASTAÃAS OFF ABOUT I'M OUT HERE BUSTING MY HUMP, FREEZING MY CASTAÃAS OFF ABOUT REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE FREEZING MY CASTAÃAS OFF ABOUT REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE [ LAUGHS .]
WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING -- AND I WANT YOU TO WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING -- AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER FIVE LITTLE WORDS.
MORNING -- AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER FIVE LITTLE WORDS.
FIVE LITTLE WORDS REMEMBER FIVE LITTLE WORDS.
FIVE LITTLE WORDS "I CAN DO ITMYSELF.
" FIVE LITTLE WORDS "I CAN DO ITMYSELF.
" AND THEN THINK OF REVERSE "I CAN DO ITMYSELF.
" AND THEN THINK OF REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AND THEN THINK OF REVERSE HYPERKINETIC PARTICLE MATRIX AWARENESS SUNDAY, OKAY? SO, DO ME A FAVOR AND SIGN HERE, AND WE CAN GET IT GOING.
AND WE CAN GET IT GOING.
ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO SIGN THIS.
ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO SIGN THIS.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA SIGN.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA SIGN.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
NO! NO! THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
YOU'RE AN OKAY WOMAN.
YOU'RE AN OKAY WOMAN.
THANKS.
THANKS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUYS.
GUYS.
YEAH, MURR? YEAH, MURR? I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
OH, YEAH, YOU GOT IT.
OH, YEAH, YOU GOT IT.
THIS TIME, I'M GONNA TRY TO THIS TIME, I'M GONNA TRY TO BE, LIKE, ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
BE, LIKE, ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
GIVE ME ONE SECOND.
GIVE ME ONE SECOND.
I'M JUST GONNA OPEN YOUR BACK PANEL AND I'M GONNA ENGAGE HUMAN I'M JUST GONNA OPEN YOUR BACK PANEL AND I'M GONNA ENGAGE HUMAN MODE.
PANEL AND I'M GONNA ENGAGE HUMAN MODE.
THERE WE GO.
MODE.
THERE WE GO.
DO A LITTLE TWIST THERE.
THERE WE GO.
DO A LITTLE TWIST THERE.
REPLACE THAT SWITCH.
DO A LITTLE TWIST THERE.
REPLACE THAT SWITCH.
CLOSE THAT BACK DOWN.
REPLACE THAT SWITCH.
CLOSE THAT BACK DOWN.
HIS BATTERIES WERE LOW.
CLOSE THAT BACK DOWN.
HIS BATTERIES WERE LOW.
[ LAUGHS .]
HIS BATTERIES WERE LOW.
[ LAUGHS .]
I TELL YOU WHAT -- I NEED A [ LAUGHS .]
I TELL YOU WHAT -- I NEED A NEW HOLIDAY, AND SO DO YOU.
I TELL YOU WHAT -- I NEED A NEW HOLIDAY, AND SO DO YOU.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
NEW HOLIDAY, AND SO DO YOU.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
OOH! THERE YOU GO.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
OOH! THERE YOU GO.
HERE'S THE NEW HOLIDAY.
OOH! THERE YOU GO.
HERE'S THE NEW HOLIDAY.
I'M TRYING TO GET ENOUGH HERE'S THE NEW HOLIDAY.
I'M TRYING TO GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES.
I'M TRYING TO GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES.
IF WE GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES, THE SIGNATURES.
IF WE GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES, THE GOVERNMENT WILL PASS THE IF WE GET ENOUGH SIGNATURES, THE GOVERNMENT WILL PASS THE HOLIDAY.
IT'S THE BILL THE COSBY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU DON'T -- YOU DON'T -- HOLD IT TOGETHER, MURRAY.
HOLD IT TOGETHER, MURRAY.
YOU KNOW BILL THE COSBY, YOU KNOW BILL THE COSBY, RIGHT? RIGHT? BILLTHE COSBY.
BILLTHE COSBY.
BILLTHE COSBY.
BILLTHE COSBY.
THAT WAS THE WORST BILL COSBY THAT WAS THE WORST BILL COSBY EVER.
EVER.
YOU'VE SEEN HIM ON TV.
YOU'VE SEEN HIM ON TV.
HE'S LIKE HE'S LIKE PUDDING POPS! PUDDING POPS! WHAT? WHAT? PUDDING -- PUDDING POPS.
PUDDING -- PUDDING POPS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THE -- THE -- THE -- THE KIDS.
THE -- THE -- THE -- THE KIDS.
THAT WAS THE WORST.
THAT WAS THE WORST.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: MURR SIGNED HIMSELF [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: MURR SIGNED HIMSELF UP FOR THE LOSER BOARD, JOINING Narrator: MURR SIGNED HIMSELF UP FOR THE LOSER BOARD, JOINING SAL IN TONIGHT'S DOUBLE UP FOR THE LOSER BOARD, JOINING SAL IN TONIGHT'S DOUBLE PUNISHMENT.
SAL IN TONIGHT'S DOUBLE PUNISHMENT.
HEY, Q, WHAT SUCKS AND WEARS PUNISHMENT.
HEY, Q, WHAT SUCKS AND WEARS SKIS? HEY, Q, WHAT SUCKS AND WEARS SKIS? OUR LOSERS TODAY.
SKIS? OUR LOSERS TODAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
OUR LOSERS TODAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND FOR THEIR PUNISHMENT, THAT'S RIGHT.
AND FOR THEIR PUNISHMENT, THEY'RE GOING TO THE TOP OF AND FOR THEIR PUNISHMENT, THEY'RE GOING TO THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK.
THEY'RE GOING TO THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK.
[ Echoing .]
BEAR PEAK! BEAR PEAK.
[ Echoing .]
BEAR PEAK! WHAT'S AT THE TOP OF [ Echoing .]
BEAR PEAK! WHAT'S AT THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK? WHAT'S AT THE TOP OF BEAR PEAK? YOUR PUNISHMENT.
BEAR PEAK? YOUR PUNISHMENT.
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
YOUR PUNISHMENT.
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GONNA BE? YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GONNA BE? WE'LL BE DOWN HERE IN THE SKI WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GONNA BE? WE'LL BE DOWN HERE IN THE SKI LODGE.
WE'LL BE DOWN HERE IN THE SKI LODGE.
I CAN'T SKI.
LODGE.
I CAN'T SKI.
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN.
I CAN'T SKI.
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN.
ALL RIGHT, STOP THAT.
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN.
ALL RIGHT, STOP THAT.
AAH! AAH! ALL RIGHT, STOP THAT.
AAH! AAH! [ LAUGHTER .]
AAH! AAH! [ LAUGHTER .]
HERE WE GO! [ LAUGHTER .]
HERE WE GO! OH, MY GOD! HERE WE GO! OH, MY GOD! ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
OH, MY GOD! ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
[BLEEP.]
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
[BLEEP.]
AAH! [BLEEP.]
AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
[ LAUGHS .]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, YOU READY? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, YOU READY? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, YOU READY? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT.
WHAT DO I DO? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT.
WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WAIT.
WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? IT'S PUSHING ME.
WHAT DO I DO? IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME! IT'S PUSHING ME.
IT'S PUSHING ME! [ LAUGHS .]
IT'S PUSHING ME! [ LAUGHS .]
I WISH WE ALWAYS HAD A BUTTON [ LAUGHS .]
I WISH WE ALWAYS HAD A BUTTON THAT WE COULD PRESS THAT WHISKS I WISH WE ALWAYS HAD A BUTTON THAT WE COULD PRESS THAT WHISKS THEM AWAY OUT OF OUR LIVES.
THAT WE COULD PRESS THAT WHISKS THEM AWAY OUT OF OUR LIVES.
BUDDY, I'M SO [BLEEP.]
SCARED, THEM AWAY OUT OF OUR LIVES.
BUDDY, I'M SO [BLEEP.]
SCARED, DUDE.
BUDDY, I'M SO [BLEEP.]
SCARED, DUDE.
LOOK AT THIS HILL.
DUDE.
LOOK AT THIS HILL.
IF YOU FALL FROM HERE, YOU'RE LOOK AT THIS HILL.
IF YOU FALL FROM HERE, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU REALIZE.
IF YOU FALL FROM HERE, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU REALIZE.
DON'T MOVE FAST, DUDE.
DEAD, YOU REALIZE.
DON'T MOVE FAST, DUDE.
STOP.
IT'S, LIKE, SHAKING DON'T MOVE FAST, DUDE.
STOP.
IT'S, LIKE, SHAKING ALREADY.
STOP.
IT'S, LIKE, SHAKING ALREADY.
HIT THE BUTTON, HIT THE ALREADY.
HIT THE BUTTON, HIT THE BUTTON.
HIT THE BUTTON, HIT THE BUTTON.
[ RINGING .]
BUTTON.
[ RINGING .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ RINGING .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
OH [BLEEP.]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL.
WHY ARE WE [BLEEP.]
STOPPED? HEY, BOYS.
HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS? THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS? THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I DON'T LIKE BEING SUSPENDED THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I DON'T LIKE BEING SUSPENDED HERE, GUYS.
I DON'T LIKE BEING SUSPENDED HERE, GUYS.
IT'S FREEZING.
HERE, GUYS.
IT'S FREEZING.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
IT'S FREEZING.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT.
THIS IS IT.
THERE WE GO.
LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS IT.
THERE WE GO.
LOOK AT THIS.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE SNOWBALL THERE WE GO.
LOOK AT THIS.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE SNOWBALL FIGHT.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE SNOWBALL FIGHT.
SNOWBALL FIGHT! FIGHT.
SNOWBALL FIGHT! OH, MY GOD! SNOWBALL FIGHT! OH, MY GOD! I'M NERVOUS I'M GONNA FALL.
OH, MY GOD! I'M NERVOUS I'M GONNA FALL.
AAH! YOU [BLEEP.]
I'M NERVOUS I'M GONNA FALL.
AAH! YOU [BLEEP.]
DON'T MAKE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS! AAH! YOU [BLEEP.]
DON'T MAKE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS! GUYS.
DON'T MAKE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS! GUYS.
YEAH? GUYS.
YEAH? WHAT? YEAH? WHAT? AAH! PLEASE STOP! WHAT? AAH! PLEASE STOP! AAH! AAH! PLEASE STOP! AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
AAH! [ LAUGHS .]
IN YOUR [BLEEP.]
FACE! [ LAUGHS .]
IN YOUR [BLEEP.]
FACE! AT THIS POINT, I'M JUST DONE IN YOUR [BLEEP.]
FACE! AT THIS POINT, I'M JUST DONE WITH IT.
AT THIS POINT, I'M JUST DONE WITH IT.
I'M ALREADY DONE.
WITH IT.
I'M ALREADY DONE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
I'M ALREADY DONE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
OH, YEAH, LET'S MAKE THIS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
OH, YEAH, LET'S MAKE THIS WORSE FOR THEM.
OH, YEAH, LET'S MAKE THIS WORSE FOR THEM.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WORSE FOR THEM.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
GUYS, IT'S FREEZING.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
GUYS, IT'S FREEZING.
IT'S 9 DEGREES OUT HERE.
GUYS, IT'S FREEZING.
IT'S 9 DEGREES OUT HERE.
YOU GUYS HANG OUT UP HERE, IT'S 9 DEGREES OUT HERE.
YOU GUYS HANG OUT UP HERE, ALL RIGHT? YOU GUYS HANG OUT UP HERE, ALL RIGHT? ZIP UP.
ALL RIGHT? ZIP UP.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CATCH A ZIP UP.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CATCH A COLD.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CATCH A COLD.
WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE HATS, COLD.
WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE HATS, BY ANY CHANCE? WOULD YOU WANT TO TRADE HATS, BY ANY CHANCE? NO.
BY ANY CHANCE? NO.
WHY WOULD I TRADE HATS WITH YOU? NO.
WHY WOULD I TRADE HATS WITH YOU? 'CAUSE I'M COLD, AND YOU'RE WHY WOULD I TRADE HATS WITH YOU? 'CAUSE I'M COLD, AND YOU'RE NOT.
'CAUSE I'M COLD, AND YOU'RE NOT.
YOU WON'T JUST SWITCH WITH ME NOT.
YOU WON'T JUST SWITCH WITH ME FOR 10 MINUTES? YOU WON'T JUST SWITCH WITH ME FOR 10 MINUTES? NO.
FOR 10 MINUTES? NO.
WOULD YOU SWITCH WITH ME? NO.
WOULD YOU SWITCH WITH ME? YEAH, I WOULD SWITCH WITH WOULD YOU SWITCH WITH ME? YEAH, I WOULD SWITCH WITH YOU.
YEAH, I WOULD SWITCH WITH YOU.
YOU WOULD NOT.
YOU.
YOU WOULD NOT.
YES, I WOULD.
YOU WOULD NOT.
YES, I WOULD.
YOU WOULD LOOK AT ME AND YES, I WOULD.
YOU WOULD LOOK AT ME AND YOU'D SAY, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, YOU WOULD LOOK AT ME AND YOU'D SAY, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, MURR.
" YOU'D SAY, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, MURR.
" [ SIGHS .]
MURR.
" [ SIGHS .]
YES.
YOU [BLEEP.]
BROUGHT FOOD.
[ SIGHS .]
YES.
YOU [BLEEP.]
BROUGHT FOOD.
I LOVE IT.
GIVE ME A PIECE.
YES.
YOU [BLEEP.]
BROUGHT FOOD.
I LOVE IT.
GIVE ME A PIECE.
WHAT? I LOVE IT.
GIVE ME A PIECE.
WHAT? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE ME A WHAT? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE ME A PIECE? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE ME A PIECE? I'M NOT GIVING YOU A PIECE OF PIECE? I'M NOT GIVING YOU A PIECE OF THAT.
I'M NOT GIVING YOU A PIECE OF THAT.
ARE YOU NUTS? THAT.
ARE YOU NUTS? GIVE ME MY [BLEEP.]
KIT KAT! ARE YOU NUTS? GIVE ME MY [BLEEP.]
KIT KAT! [BLEEP.]
GIVE ME MY [BLEEP.]
KIT KAT! [BLEEP.]
COME ON! GIVE ME THAT! [BLEEP.]
COME ON! GIVE ME THAT! STOP IT! YOU [BLEEP.]
COME ON! GIVE ME THAT! STOP IT! YOU [BLEEP.]
THAT'S NOT FUNNY! STOP IT! YOU [BLEEP.]
THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! [BLEEP.]
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! [BLEEP.]
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! [BLEEP.]
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! THAT'S MY ONLY FOOD.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! THAT'S MY ONLY FOOD.
HEY, GUYS, WE FELT THE THAT'S MY ONLY FOOD.
HEY, GUYS, WE FELT THE SNOWBALLS DIDN'T PACK THE PUNCH HEY, GUYS, WE FELT THE SNOWBALLS DIDN'T PACK THE PUNCH WE WANTED THEM TO.
SNOWBALLS DIDN'T PACK THE PUNCH WE WANTED THEM TO.
WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS SHOOT YOU WE WANTED THEM TO.
WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS SHOOT YOU WITH A BUNCH OF PAINTBALLS RIGHT WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS SHOOT YOU WITH A BUNCH OF PAINTBALLS RIGHT NOW.
WITH A BUNCH OF PAINTBALLS RIGHT NOW.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
THAT HURTS.
NOW.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
THAT HURTS.
YOU'RE VERY CLOSE.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
THAT HURTS.
YOU'RE VERY CLOSE.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE.
YOU'RE VERY CLOSE.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE.
NO! WHOA! OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE.
NO! WHOA! OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING, LAUGHTER .]
NO! WHOA! OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING, LAUGHTER .]
OH, I'M DEAD SERIOUS! HOLD ON! [BLEEP.]
[BLEEP.]
STOP! GUYS, COME ON! STOP! GUYS, COME ON! CUT THE [BLEEP.]
GUYS, COME ON! CUT THE [BLEEP.]
I MEAN, THIS IS PROBABLY THE CUT THE [BLEEP.]
I MEAN, THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST IDEA WE'VE EVER HAD.
I MEAN, THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST IDEA WE'VE EVER HAD.
ITS BEAUTY IS IN THE BEST IDEA WE'VE EVER HAD.
ITS BEAUTY IS IN THE SIMPLICITY.
ITS BEAUTY IS IN THE SIMPLICITY.
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
MAN?! STOP! SIMPLICITY.
WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
MAN?! STOP! BREAK YO SELF! WHAT THE [BLEEP.]
MAN?! STOP! BREAK YO SELF! BREAK YO SELF, FOOL! BREAK YO SELF! BREAK YO SELF, FOOL! BREAK YO SELF, FOOL!