In Plain Sight s03e13 Episode Script
A Priest Walks Into A Bar
ÔÖ¬ ÔÖ¬ - I don't even know why I'm even in your office.
We had a goddamn deal.
ÔÖ¬ ÔÖ¬ - come in! - Linda? - Oh, God.
Father Gabe? - Oh.
- What the hell are you doing here? - To be honest, Linda, You took the words right out of my mouth.
- I'm doing it for the money, okay? We're not like some of the other girls they bring in.
I mean, I get that this isn't exactly What my mother wanted for me.
- Wants.
Wants for you.
- The money'll let me do the things She says she wants for me.
I don't understand the big deal.
- Yeah, yeah, we can go back and forth.
The bottom line is you're better than this, Both of you.
- You don't even know me, man.
- I don't have to.
ÔÖ¬ ÔÖ¬ - Hey, corti, we had a goddamn deal.
- You're goddamn right we did.
Three of the girls you brought me, gone.
Run off, not a word.
- So what? I'll get you more.
Told you there's a shipment next week.
Relax.
- Relax? Get me some goddamn dancers and I will.
- Corti, man - no, part of the deal Is you keep track of your girls.
- You want to stop talking to me that way.
- Two weekends here is a month's pay at my old job.
- Yeah.
- Linda, listen - oh, God, no.
No, I'm not in catechism anymore.
And you're not even my priest.
You're my mom's priest.
And I'm on in five.
- Just think for one minute.
- Father, you put your hands on me, And either I have to call the bouncer Or you better start pulling out some singles.
- What the hell are you doing, corti? Put the damn gun away.
- Holy.
- Oh, my God! - They don't leave! Get back in here! Get back in here! Open the goddamn door! - What's your name? What's your name? - Flora.
- Flora, look at me! Those men, they saw you.
Go.
Don't even think, go now, run! I'm with you.
God is - Come on, man, open the door! - Depart, oh, Christian soul, Out of this world.
- No, the men we arrested, the men in the club, Part of a human trafficking syndicate we're after.
The FBI's been on this case for years.
This murder's the first break we've had.
And the fact that you're willing to testify In spite of the consequences - it's not even a question.
- It's not safe with these guys, anywhere.
- What I saw, What they did to Linda, It has to stop.
- You're saving lives, father.
You still are.
And you know what, you couldn't be in better hands.
- Whose? Yours? - Oh, no.
Not mine.
Way better than mine.
- A priest came to our house Not long after my father went away.
He was tall, thin, and reeked of birds.
He told us dad was gone Because that's how God wanted it.
My face turned hot, as it does now Whenever I see stained glass, The sound of music, Or a San Diego baseball team.
His presence in our home that night, I didn't take it well.
He never came back.
Just sign by the "x.
" Great.
Listen, just between you, me, and the haircut here, What you did - I picked up a dying girl and I ran down the street.
Let's not give this more weight than it merits.
- D.
O.
J.
's case is shaping up nicely, But a lot of it depends on you.
- And when Marshall says, "a lot of it," What he means is, "all of it," so - I understand.
Do you know how many times People have told me in the confessional How if only they hadn't done this thing, This this tiny thing, Then "x," "y," or "z" wouldn't have happened.
If I hadn't gone to that club, If I'd gone an hour later, Or five minutes Linda Ivey should still be walking around.
- Father, I have to tell you, You will have to give up being a priest.
- Thank God.
Guess I need a new job.
- Since 1970, the federal Witness Protection program Has relocated thousands of witnesses, Some criminal, some not, To neighborhoods all across the country.
Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute, Distinguishing them from the rest Of the general population.
And that is, somebody wants them dead.
- Hey, we're in here.
- What the hell? What's with the candle? Whoa, and who forgot to tell me We instituted a dress code? What's going on? - Mary, we have news.
- Is it that you won a lifetime supply Of j.
Crew gift cards? - Excellent guess, but no.
Brandi and I - We're moving in together.
- What? Are you kidding me? Brandi, I mean, not that finally being able To find the remote's not flashing before my eyes, But come on, seriously? How is this not just another lurch Toward whatever seems fun? No offense.
- None taken.
I'm flattered someone thinks I seem fun.
- Mary, we've thought this through.
- Really? - I love your sister.
We love each other.
- We're doing this, Mary.
We are, and that is something to celebrate.
- Wow.
- God, can you just be happy for me? - Okay, okay.
All right, sold, for now.
Peter, are you sure you wanna do this? She does this thing where she can never ever find - Where's the corkscrew? - And then she - Oh, never mind.
- It's not too late.
- I'm fine.
- Wow, okay.
She's all yours.
- For the ladies, wine, And for the gentleman, pomegranate juice.
- A Colgin '96, pricey.
- Oh.
- Overtones of orchids if I recall.
- Yeah, not that one.
- This guy gave it to her, so Mary, come on.
- Coming.
This one is better.
Trust me.
This is to Brandi and Peter and the joys of living alone.
You ready, kids? - Yes.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
Mmm.
Well, well, look who's rolling in On the wrong side of early.
- Funny thing about being late, You see extraordinary things.
- Like what, you dunking a basketball, Your thick mane of hair flowing behind? - Things, Mary, like the new WITSEC use or lose policy Regarding vacation days.
- Why don't I like the sound of this? - Just got out of a breakfast meeting.
I was trying to tell the brass That banking vacation days is pretty standard In most offices.
- How'd it go? - Well, if I were you, I'd call my travel Agent.
Then again, look who I'm talking to.
Last time you took a vacation, I think, was never.
- Yeah, so? I still bank my vacation days.
- Not anymore.
By the way, Mary, I could use your help with something.
- Hey, Marshall, you're just in time.
Stan's stealing my vacation days While asking for help.
- Help? - Roy keels.
- Ugh.
Seven near breaches and a five-time loser On drunk and disorderly.
- God, what's he gone and done this time? - He's gone and died.
- Oh, well, that's awkward.
- How soon till we can start making "Roy keels over" jokes? - I was keels' original inspector.
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
- Please God, don't sing.
- Anyway, the guy left this world with zero friends.
I was just thinking maybe we could Just hold a little thing for him.
Nothing big, just raise a glass.
- Drinking to Roy keels, Eerily appropriate or practically redundant? - I completely lost it In front of these people though.
- From where I sit, I see a Cynthia Curtin that stood up And demanded recognition for the work she's done.
- And now I have to go back in and pray That the Grey beards on the faculty committee Can see my point.
- And you'll walk in there, You'll take a breath, and you'll make 'em see it.
- Okay, I will.
- See, I think that's what we were put here for, To be all that we can be.
- So you were an army recruiter in a former life.
- Something like that.
- Oh, thanks.
No, I turn back into a lit Professor at midnight.
See ya.
- Good night, Curtin.
- Good night.
- Ataque vale.
- Hey, barkeep.
Closing time? - Hail Mary, my favorite Shepard.
The a.
U.
S.
A.
Getting pre-trial jitters? - Not yet.
Just checking in.
And you've got mail.
- Thank you.
I'll finish up then let's walk.
There's something I need to do.
- So that was helpful, the praying and whatnot? - I wasn't praying.
I was waiting, checking for messages.
- Messages? - A message, sign, calling.
- Yeah, okay.
Look, the whole God, kneeling, candles deal, It's not my thing.
But just asking, what would a sign even look like? I mean, are we talking about a burning cactus here or what? - That'd be nice.
No, it's usually not that clear.
Just seeing if there's anyone at the other end of the line.
- And was there? - Not for me.
I feel like there's a lack Where something important used to be.
- Part of you that used to be a priest? - And you can't get it back just by wishing.
- Maybe not.
But the priest thing isn't completely gone, you know? I mean, I've seen you at the bar, The way people turn to you.
That barfly from the university.
You even threw in a little Latin.
- So I did, but, um - I'm just saying, maybe all you've done Is gone from offering counsel and absolution To offering counsel and absolut.
- Been sitting on that a while? - Weeks.
So you just keep coming back Despite no answer? - The day I stop, it'll just get worse.
- Hey, I've got a joke.
- Let me guess, "a priest walks into a bar"? - All right, just for that I'm not telling you The punch line when I come up with it someday.
- Great, I'm sure it'll be hilarious.
- Oh, ye of little faith.
- Roy keels kept us on our toes.
He, uh, enjoyed fine spirits Of various kinds in plentiful amounts.
He was an agricultural enthusiast, At least according to a hydroponics expert I got to know following one of Roy's five near-arrests.
- All right, I'm gonna go.
A toast To Roy keels, a longtime What? A longtime Roy okay, to Roy keels.
Roy - Stan, sit down.
I got it.
I got it, I got it.
Roy keels was a total pain in the ass with no friends And a suspended license.
The man once had me drive him to give blood, Then took the money literally blood money And blew it getting loaded.
Then had to go back, get him home, Roll him into his unmade bed, at which point he vomited Into an open drawer on his night stand.
Anyway, rest in peace or don't, whatever.
- Thank you.
To Roy.
- Mmm.
- McQueen.
Who? - That was lovely, by the way.
- My mom always said if you can't Say something nice about someone, Just say the bad stuff really fast.
- Yeah, well, what are you gonna say about a guy like Roy keels? - Good question.
We gotta go meet his daughter in ten.
- What? - Let's go.
- Have fun, boys.
- Keels.
- Hi.
Gina Lucas? I'm Stan McQueen.
- Hi.
- This is Marshall.
- Hi, Gina.
Sorry for your loss.
Your father was, uh Roy.
- Oh, yeah.
Roy was a He was a real character.
- Thank you.
- Absolutely.
Have a seat.
So you got to Albuquerque pretty quick.
- I came as soon as WITSEC notified me.
- Sorry you had to find out Via the cold hand of bureaucracy.
- You knew him, right? I mean, one of you was his handler or whatever? - Yeah, well, Can't really get into that.
- Can't confirm or deny.
WITSEC rules.
They told me.
It's just so strange Actually talking to people Who know something about my dad.
All I had was a few postcards, What my mom told me, And the story I told my friends.
My mom made it sound like He was I don't know, um, Like going into Witness Protection Was somehow cowardly.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- But, I mean, It's not like he was trying to witness a murder.
- That's right.
- I missed him.
He was my father.
But maybe he was leaving us To keep us safe.
And that was sort of heroic.
- Well, you know, um - Gina, listen, Uh You gotta hand it to him.
The fact that your father would testify, Go into WITSEC, sacrifice his family like that Says a lot about the man.
- Really? - Roy was a hell of a guy, A hell of a guy.
- God, this this is so meaningful to me.
You you have no idea.
- God, I can't believe this vacation days b.
S.
At home, jinx is already gone.
Now without Brandi, that's a vacation.
Got vacation coming out my ears.
- So no loneliness issues? - Right, Marshall, 'cause I'm a people person.
Hey, barkeep.
- Excuse me.
Mary, Marshall.
- It's from Linda Ivey's mom.
You two sure are keeping up.
- Well, she was an extraordinary woman.
To lose a child like that, She didn't deserve Well, nobody does.
- Is everything okay? Gabe? - No, I want to see you too.
We can't.
Because it's against the rules, But I'm here for you.
No.
No, all I'm saying is that If that's what you want, then I'll honor it, But I think it'd be better if you came in.
I'm not even supposed to be doing this.
Okay, okay, hold on.
Mary, what are you doing here? - Well, I wanted to test out A theory on you.
There's this bartender I know Who prior to his gig Offering the sacrament of breadsticks and wine Was in love, Possibly with Linda Ivey's mother, Maybe still is.
He's Moody, Cut off from the woman he loves.
- The woman he loves? - Who he couldn't Bring into WITSEC 'cause it would scandalize the church.
Whatever was in that letter last night, Gabe, It threw you.
Look, trust me, I know men.
- Do you? - No, but I know of them.
- Wanna hear my theory? He misses being a priest.
- Gabe, what's going on? - Nothing.
- Oh, God.
You lying, the worst.
Please tell me she's not climbing out the window Like in some 1950s movie.
- Mary.
- Who the hell is that? - Who's that? Look, I don't know what the hell's going on, father, But corti and his guys, I see them everywhere.
I just I don't know - Pack your bags.
- I got your call.
What's going on? - Hell of a guy, you said.
My dad, hell of a guy.
You know, the last postcard I got from him Was three years ago, okay? So what you told me yesterday Might as well have been his official biography, 'cause that's all I know.
You know? Then I find this.
Mom was right.
So, uh, so what, was he a dealer Or a junkie or both? I mean, just tell me.
Who was my father? - Your father, he was complicated.
I came here Until half an hour ago, I thought my dad was a hero, and All right, look.
I don't want to be a child about this, But did he even witness a murder? - Yes, he did.
He was there.
There were two other guys.
Now, he didn't pull the trigger but he was - Oh, well, great.
He didn't pull the trigger.
Okay, well, yeah, maybe we could put that on his headstone.
I cannot believe this.
I can't believe anything.
I came here to just fill in the picture Just a little bit, and now all I got was - Gina, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to call a.
B.
Q.
Narcotics.
They're gonna have to come down here And do their thing, confiscate the drugs, The car.
- They can have it, okay? They can have it all.
- I'm very sorry.
I never meant - No, you know what? Just go, okay? - You didn't tell anyone? The cops at the scene? Your lawyer? - Cops have me.
I'm all they need.
Anyway, flora doesn't want to go into WITSEC.
She's got family.
- Family? Is she seeing them? Does she know how dangerous that is? Do you? - I'm trying to convince her.
I'm trying to save her from the people who killed Linda.
- Cops can save flora.
I can.
God, you coulda talked to me.
- I'm talking to you now.
- Yeah, I'm supposed to pick up a phone now.
Gotta let the a.
U.
S.
A.
Know there's another witness.
- I'll deny it.
I'll say I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Nice.
Thou shalt not lie? I guess that came off with the collar.
- Mary - you know what, I think we should take a look at your m.
O.
U.
, Really check the fine print, see if it says anything About video conferencing with hookers.
- She's not a hooker.
She's a stripper.
- Oh, well, a stripper.
Still, I'm pretty sure it's against the rules.
Look, you said she fled the scene.
How'd she know you were in WITSEC? - There was a note from flora is Mrs.
Ivey's - In the letter last night.
Told you.
Knew I knew men.
- That night at the church, When you watched me not praying.
- Checking for messages.
- That's how I see this.
Flora reaching out to me is a sign from God, A call.
- It's not a sign.
Okay, it's just what happened.
The other eyewitness called you up "a" then "b" then "c.
" The order of things matters, Gabe.
- I don't dispute that the order of things matters.
I dispute the order or things.
- God, have you ever even been to a movie? Flora calling you up weeks before the trial Is not a sign, it's a trap.
And even if it isn't, they could be on to her.
- It's not, I'm telling you.
- Yeah, how the hell do you know? - I know, I just do.
- Right, here we go, blind faith.
Except it's not even blind faith.
It's death-dumb-and-blind faith.
You're taking the word of a stripper on the lam.
- Faith is precisely about Taking the word of a stripper on the lam.
- Uh-huh.
Okay, good.
Right, well, I'll do my best to keep you safe, Gabe.
But if I don't, don't worry.
Frosty, Santa, The velveteen rabbit will save the day.
Trust me, I know.
I just do.
Come on, hurry up.
I'm taking you to a motel.
- Hello! - Oh, mom, in case you're wondering For next time, I keep the doorbell on the outside.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, I just got the place to myself.
Tell me you're not moving back in.
- I'm not.
Can I? - Oh, yeah, sorry.
Sit, stay, You know, for a little bit.
- Brandi was boxing everything for the move, And she grabbed this for me.
It was in her closet - Huh.
- I want you to have it.
I think you should have it.
- You think I should have your box Of outdated, never used vacation brochures? Mom, you shouldn't have.
You could have willed it to me Along with other things I need Suit of armor, One free banjo lesson.
What is going on? This is insane.
Why is everyone pushing me to go on vacation? And how did you even know? - Brandi said something.
- Right.
- Well, actually Peter did.
He said that she said something.
- So they're already one of those couples Who only talk in first person plural? - I guess.
- What is with vacation anyway? You're either freezing or humid, Dragging your ass from one tourist trap to the next.
- What about the beach? - The beach is ground zero.
Bunch of pasty fatsos Looking horrendous and smelling worse.
- Are you done? - Pretty much.
- 'cause I've been thinking.
- Four ominous words.
Go on.
- This box Is full of all the vacations I never got to go on, 'cause I felt I couldn't fit in To this this pretty world.
- Oh, mom.
- No, I it's not for me.
Go have fun.
Don't be left with a box of vacations.
- That is, um Disorientingly good advice, But I'm not going on vacation.
- Mary.
- I don't vacation.
- I know I am the last person you wanted to see right now.
- I already told you I don't wanna talk to you.
- I apologize, okay? I'm sorry I lied.
You deserve better.
You deserve the truth.
Not something wrapped up in a bow.
The reason I didn't tell you the truth was because Because you're young, And who the hell needs to be saddled With the not-so-sweet truth? And because I like you.
And I like the girl who told her friends A story about her dad.
- It's an explanation, Not an excuse.
- All right, okay, you're right.
Absolutely right.
- Just Tell me about him.
- Well, let's see.
Roy was a guy Who was constantly trying to get away with things.
- What kind of things? - Criminal things, But small-time.
You know, drunk and disorderly, Petty theft, petty everything.
Just enough to not quite get kicked out.
Your dad was a bad guy doing bad things For not great money and no good reason.
That's the truth.
- Keep going, I guess.
- Well, you asked me to check Roy's file To see if he specified a reason For not bringing you and your mom in.
I didn't have to.
He told me.
The reason he didn't have you come into WITSEC Was because he was a bad guy And he knew it.
And he, well, he did what he could To make moving on without him easy.
And as reasons go for this guy, It wasn't so bad.
- No.
No, it wasn't.
Thank you.
- Sorry I lied.
Now I'm sorry I even told you the truth, but I gotta go.
You have a good life.
- Gabe.
Gabe, open the door.
Gabe? Gabe! Clear! - Clear.
- Tell me you're not waiting for a tip.
Have you seen this place? - Thank you.
- Going from that condo to this, Talk about a fall from grace.
- Better be the only reason he's not calling me back.
- Feel like going to flagstaff? - Who feels like going to flagstaff? - Fans of route 66, Families on their way to the grand canyon, And priests who don't call back.
- Oh, my father Gabe.
- You're a half hour late.
- Well, talk to the driver.
We were going 50 since Kingman.
Thanks for the cash, by the way.
- You used it for the ticket, right? - Well, yeah, I mean, I used it but - Flora! They could be tracking your credit cards.
That's why I overnighted you the Mon Forget it.
It's very important that you're nest with.
Did you tell anyone that you were coming here? - No.
- Flora? - No, I swear.
Look, I didn't tell a soul.
- Okay, okay.
So what's going on with corti and his guys? You said you saw them? - Didn't exactly see them.
I just - Well, you said - it's just I have a feeling.
- Okay, listen, flora, You're in danger, I'm in danger.
- What do you mean? - Calling her wasn't good enough? You had to put yourself in harm's way.
- What are - they're friends.
I thought if I could talk to her face-to-face She'd reconsider comi into WITSEC.
- Oh, if you could save this stripper, It would make up for the one you didn't.
This is you trying to redeem yourself.
It's not your best side.
Let's get to the car.
- Oh, my God.
- Familiar faces? - Oh, Jesus, it's them.
- It's corti.
- Change of plans.
Come on, come on.
- U.
S.
Marshals requesting backup, Bus station, Malpais lane.
- Marshall.
- U.
S.
Marshals! - Drop your weap Down, get down.
- Come on, come on, come on, come on! We're on the move! - Take cover! - Flora! - Gabe! Feel like running? - Ways.
Don't move! Fine, move! Get your hands on your head, asshole! - Mary.
She's hurt.
- Watch out, watch out.
Stay calm.
- Ow, ow.
- All right, all right, all right.
- All right, all right, look, flora, listen to me.
You're gonna be okay, all right? I've had bug bites worse than this.
It's nothing.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Okay.
Gabe? Gabe.
- Depart, oh, Christian soul, out of this world.
In the name of God, the father almighty Who created you, In the name of Jesus Christ who redeemed you, And in the name of the Holy spirit Who sanctifies you, May your rest be this day in peace And your dwelling place in the paradise of God.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy - It's okay.
We're safe.
Breathe.
- In the case of the United States government Versus Richard corti.
Please raise your right hand.
Place your left hand on the bible.
Do you, Gabriel Andrews, swear or affirm To tell the truth, the whole truth, And nothing but the truth? - I do.
So help me God.
TWO WEEKS LATER - Hey, we got any ribbon around here? - Ribbon? As in ribbon? - Yeah, I've got a going away present for the priest.
Got the gift of Gabe.
- Hilarious.
You know, giving gifts to witnesses Isn't really allowed.
- Yeah, "a," no kidding, "b," Gabe's opted out of WITSEC, And "c," what's it like for a pussycat To walk around in people clothes? - You seem something.
- Dazzling? Brilliant? Batgirl meets tomboy? A Jane Austen hero in a John Grisham world? - Breezy.
What's going on? - Look, why does something have to be going on? What's with everyone looking for signs And deeper meaning? I don't know.
I don't know, it's been a brutal year.
I think I just need to blow off some steam.
You know, jinx has been on my for weeks, Pushing me to go on vacation Like she's got some stake in orbitz.
- That's ridiculous.
- It's jinx.
I don't know, maybe I should just pick a bar, Down some shots, and do some cowboy.
- Uh-huh.
- What? What's uh-huh? - If you feel like you need To get something out of your system, If you need to go do some cowboy - What? - You've done the cowboy.
And when you weren't doing the cowboy, You were the cowboy, like with Raph.
You don't need to let off steam.
What you need is I get that you don't like messy.
But maybe messy is what you need.
Maybe instead of just anyone, You should be looking for someone, Someone who challenges you And calls you on your b.
S.
And gets in your face And makes you think.
What? - What? I'm thinking.
Stan the man.
Hey, you want this Gina Lucas letter back, You know, for your fridge? - Give me.
Just give me May I have it, please? - You realize it's gonna get around, right? - What's gonna get around? - That you're a dear, dear man.
Quick question though, the part in the letter About Roy telling you why he didn't bring His family into WITSEC? - Yeah? - Load of crap? - Yeah, it was.
He wanted to bring 'em just so he could have them around.
I just told him he was being an asshole.
- Like I said, dear, dear man.
- Mary.
You gotta don't do that.
- I am what many would call often as accusation A non-believer.
It's a charge I consider unfair.
Because all of us, No matter the connection we feel or don't, When sitting under the stars, Or feeling the world closing in, Doing what comes naturally, Or rearranging the furniture, All of us believe in something.
I believe in many things.
I believe in first impressions and second chances, For strippers, priests, And hopeless, hapless sisters.
I believe in telling the truth to the people you love At every possible turn.
And lying, just a little, At what seems the appropriate time.
I believe in finding people You'd run through a brick wall for, And making sure they know it, if not in so many words.
But mostly, I believe in justice Sweet, street, and otherwise.
Justice, that is my church.
Also, I believe in taking cookies out of the oven Two minutes early.
I mean, come on, right? - Absolutely.
Couldn't agree more.
And as for justice, We're not as far apart as you might think.
- "completely" is pretty far apart.
- Not knowing, that's a key piece of the mystery.
- Would you please? I'm not coming to mass.
You people are lucky I show up for the bake sales.
- I should be going.
I work this weekend.
My new parish needs me.
- Of course they need you.
Church in Vegas, God knows what those derelicts have been up to.
- He does indeed.
- I don't like you opting out of WITSEC.
Courtroom full of guilty doesn't make you safe, Even flora knows that.
- I'm glad she's coming into the program, But my mind's made up.
I got a new parish, a new city, One last name change.
Only the calling's the same.
To quote one of the all-time great philosophers - Please don't.
I am what I am.
- Amen to that.
Hey, listen, I got you just something.
- Whoa.
Should I open it? - Eh, in the car.
It's a sign.
Not your kind, my kind.
A sign, you can hang it on your wall.
- Ah.
- So - Bless you, Mary.
- Take a hike, father.
Oh, hey.
I owe you a punch line.
- That you do.
Let's hear it.
- A priest, a stripper, and a cop walk into a bar.
Bartender looks at them and says, "what is this, some kinda joke?" - May I interest you in a drink before dinner? Champagne or a sex on the beach? - You can interest me in many things, Jorge.
- It's Enrique.
- Uh-huh.
Many things.
Sex on the beach Being at the top of the list.
Get back to me when you've taken your sats.
- When you're done, just call.
I'll be glad to come back.
- I'll bear that in mind.
Nicest place.
- You know, I can't decide If it's merely disconcerting Or simply pathetic.
- What? What are you talking about? - That routine you were doing with cabana boy.
- First of all, there was no routine.
- Oh, please, he may as well have been delivering pizza.
- And secondly, there wasn't a cabana boy.
There was room service, and his name was Jorge.
- Enrique.
- Whatever.
- There's no sats in Mexico.
- And third, had there been a cabana boy, You wouldn't be the one in front of me in a towel.
He would, and minus the towel.
- I'm stunned, kitten.
- You gotta knock it off with "kitten.
" - I think this has had enough time to breath, don't you? - I can't believe I'm in Mexico With a guy who lets his drinks breathe.
- You know what, just give me a break.
- Mmm, wait.
You want me to give you a break? - Yeah, I want you to give me a break.
- God, you're an idiot.
- Oh, shut up.
- No, you shut up.
We had a goddamn deal.
ÔÖ¬ ÔÖ¬ - come in! - Linda? - Oh, God.
Father Gabe? - Oh.
- What the hell are you doing here? - To be honest, Linda, You took the words right out of my mouth.
- I'm doing it for the money, okay? We're not like some of the other girls they bring in.
I mean, I get that this isn't exactly What my mother wanted for me.
- Wants.
Wants for you.
- The money'll let me do the things She says she wants for me.
I don't understand the big deal.
- Yeah, yeah, we can go back and forth.
The bottom line is you're better than this, Both of you.
- You don't even know me, man.
- I don't have to.
ÔÖ¬ ÔÖ¬ - Hey, corti, we had a goddamn deal.
- You're goddamn right we did.
Three of the girls you brought me, gone.
Run off, not a word.
- So what? I'll get you more.
Told you there's a shipment next week.
Relax.
- Relax? Get me some goddamn dancers and I will.
- Corti, man - no, part of the deal Is you keep track of your girls.
- You want to stop talking to me that way.
- Two weekends here is a month's pay at my old job.
- Yeah.
- Linda, listen - oh, God, no.
No, I'm not in catechism anymore.
And you're not even my priest.
You're my mom's priest.
And I'm on in five.
- Just think for one minute.
- Father, you put your hands on me, And either I have to call the bouncer Or you better start pulling out some singles.
- What the hell are you doing, corti? Put the damn gun away.
- Holy.
- Oh, my God! - They don't leave! Get back in here! Get back in here! Open the goddamn door! - What's your name? What's your name? - Flora.
- Flora, look at me! Those men, they saw you.
Go.
Don't even think, go now, run! I'm with you.
God is - Come on, man, open the door! - Depart, oh, Christian soul, Out of this world.
- No, the men we arrested, the men in the club, Part of a human trafficking syndicate we're after.
The FBI's been on this case for years.
This murder's the first break we've had.
And the fact that you're willing to testify In spite of the consequences - it's not even a question.
- It's not safe with these guys, anywhere.
- What I saw, What they did to Linda, It has to stop.
- You're saving lives, father.
You still are.
And you know what, you couldn't be in better hands.
- Whose? Yours? - Oh, no.
Not mine.
Way better than mine.
- A priest came to our house Not long after my father went away.
He was tall, thin, and reeked of birds.
He told us dad was gone Because that's how God wanted it.
My face turned hot, as it does now Whenever I see stained glass, The sound of music, Or a San Diego baseball team.
His presence in our home that night, I didn't take it well.
He never came back.
Just sign by the "x.
" Great.
Listen, just between you, me, and the haircut here, What you did - I picked up a dying girl and I ran down the street.
Let's not give this more weight than it merits.
- D.
O.
J.
's case is shaping up nicely, But a lot of it depends on you.
- And when Marshall says, "a lot of it," What he means is, "all of it," so - I understand.
Do you know how many times People have told me in the confessional How if only they hadn't done this thing, This this tiny thing, Then "x," "y," or "z" wouldn't have happened.
If I hadn't gone to that club, If I'd gone an hour later, Or five minutes Linda Ivey should still be walking around.
- Father, I have to tell you, You will have to give up being a priest.
- Thank God.
Guess I need a new job.
- Since 1970, the federal Witness Protection program Has relocated thousands of witnesses, Some criminal, some not, To neighborhoods all across the country.
Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute, Distinguishing them from the rest Of the general population.
And that is, somebody wants them dead.
- Hey, we're in here.
- What the hell? What's with the candle? Whoa, and who forgot to tell me We instituted a dress code? What's going on? - Mary, we have news.
- Is it that you won a lifetime supply Of j.
Crew gift cards? - Excellent guess, but no.
Brandi and I - We're moving in together.
- What? Are you kidding me? Brandi, I mean, not that finally being able To find the remote's not flashing before my eyes, But come on, seriously? How is this not just another lurch Toward whatever seems fun? No offense.
- None taken.
I'm flattered someone thinks I seem fun.
- Mary, we've thought this through.
- Really? - I love your sister.
We love each other.
- We're doing this, Mary.
We are, and that is something to celebrate.
- Wow.
- God, can you just be happy for me? - Okay, okay.
All right, sold, for now.
Peter, are you sure you wanna do this? She does this thing where she can never ever find - Where's the corkscrew? - And then she - Oh, never mind.
- It's not too late.
- I'm fine.
- Wow, okay.
She's all yours.
- For the ladies, wine, And for the gentleman, pomegranate juice.
- A Colgin '96, pricey.
- Oh.
- Overtones of orchids if I recall.
- Yeah, not that one.
- This guy gave it to her, so Mary, come on.
- Coming.
This one is better.
Trust me.
This is to Brandi and Peter and the joys of living alone.
You ready, kids? - Yes.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
Mmm.
Well, well, look who's rolling in On the wrong side of early.
- Funny thing about being late, You see extraordinary things.
- Like what, you dunking a basketball, Your thick mane of hair flowing behind? - Things, Mary, like the new WITSEC use or lose policy Regarding vacation days.
- Why don't I like the sound of this? - Just got out of a breakfast meeting.
I was trying to tell the brass That banking vacation days is pretty standard In most offices.
- How'd it go? - Well, if I were you, I'd call my travel Agent.
Then again, look who I'm talking to.
Last time you took a vacation, I think, was never.
- Yeah, so? I still bank my vacation days.
- Not anymore.
By the way, Mary, I could use your help with something.
- Hey, Marshall, you're just in time.
Stan's stealing my vacation days While asking for help.
- Help? - Roy keels.
- Ugh.
Seven near breaches and a five-time loser On drunk and disorderly.
- God, what's he gone and done this time? - He's gone and died.
- Oh, well, that's awkward.
- How soon till we can start making "Roy keels over" jokes? - I was keels' original inspector.
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
- Please God, don't sing.
- Anyway, the guy left this world with zero friends.
I was just thinking maybe we could Just hold a little thing for him.
Nothing big, just raise a glass.
- Drinking to Roy keels, Eerily appropriate or practically redundant? - I completely lost it In front of these people though.
- From where I sit, I see a Cynthia Curtin that stood up And demanded recognition for the work she's done.
- And now I have to go back in and pray That the Grey beards on the faculty committee Can see my point.
- And you'll walk in there, You'll take a breath, and you'll make 'em see it.
- Okay, I will.
- See, I think that's what we were put here for, To be all that we can be.
- So you were an army recruiter in a former life.
- Something like that.
- Oh, thanks.
No, I turn back into a lit Professor at midnight.
See ya.
- Good night, Curtin.
- Good night.
- Ataque vale.
- Hey, barkeep.
Closing time? - Hail Mary, my favorite Shepard.
The a.
U.
S.
A.
Getting pre-trial jitters? - Not yet.
Just checking in.
And you've got mail.
- Thank you.
I'll finish up then let's walk.
There's something I need to do.
- So that was helpful, the praying and whatnot? - I wasn't praying.
I was waiting, checking for messages.
- Messages? - A message, sign, calling.
- Yeah, okay.
Look, the whole God, kneeling, candles deal, It's not my thing.
But just asking, what would a sign even look like? I mean, are we talking about a burning cactus here or what? - That'd be nice.
No, it's usually not that clear.
Just seeing if there's anyone at the other end of the line.
- And was there? - Not for me.
I feel like there's a lack Where something important used to be.
- Part of you that used to be a priest? - And you can't get it back just by wishing.
- Maybe not.
But the priest thing isn't completely gone, you know? I mean, I've seen you at the bar, The way people turn to you.
That barfly from the university.
You even threw in a little Latin.
- So I did, but, um - I'm just saying, maybe all you've done Is gone from offering counsel and absolution To offering counsel and absolut.
- Been sitting on that a while? - Weeks.
So you just keep coming back Despite no answer? - The day I stop, it'll just get worse.
- Hey, I've got a joke.
- Let me guess, "a priest walks into a bar"? - All right, just for that I'm not telling you The punch line when I come up with it someday.
- Great, I'm sure it'll be hilarious.
- Oh, ye of little faith.
- Roy keels kept us on our toes.
He, uh, enjoyed fine spirits Of various kinds in plentiful amounts.
He was an agricultural enthusiast, At least according to a hydroponics expert I got to know following one of Roy's five near-arrests.
- All right, I'm gonna go.
A toast To Roy keels, a longtime What? A longtime Roy okay, to Roy keels.
Roy - Stan, sit down.
I got it.
I got it, I got it.
Roy keels was a total pain in the ass with no friends And a suspended license.
The man once had me drive him to give blood, Then took the money literally blood money And blew it getting loaded.
Then had to go back, get him home, Roll him into his unmade bed, at which point he vomited Into an open drawer on his night stand.
Anyway, rest in peace or don't, whatever.
- Thank you.
To Roy.
- Mmm.
- McQueen.
Who? - That was lovely, by the way.
- My mom always said if you can't Say something nice about someone, Just say the bad stuff really fast.
- Yeah, well, what are you gonna say about a guy like Roy keels? - Good question.
We gotta go meet his daughter in ten.
- What? - Let's go.
- Have fun, boys.
- Keels.
- Hi.
Gina Lucas? I'm Stan McQueen.
- Hi.
- This is Marshall.
- Hi, Gina.
Sorry for your loss.
Your father was, uh Roy.
- Oh, yeah.
Roy was a He was a real character.
- Thank you.
- Absolutely.
Have a seat.
So you got to Albuquerque pretty quick.
- I came as soon as WITSEC notified me.
- Sorry you had to find out Via the cold hand of bureaucracy.
- You knew him, right? I mean, one of you was his handler or whatever? - Yeah, well, Can't really get into that.
- Can't confirm or deny.
WITSEC rules.
They told me.
It's just so strange Actually talking to people Who know something about my dad.
All I had was a few postcards, What my mom told me, And the story I told my friends.
My mom made it sound like He was I don't know, um, Like going into Witness Protection Was somehow cowardly.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- But, I mean, It's not like he was trying to witness a murder.
- That's right.
- I missed him.
He was my father.
But maybe he was leaving us To keep us safe.
And that was sort of heroic.
- Well, you know, um - Gina, listen, Uh You gotta hand it to him.
The fact that your father would testify, Go into WITSEC, sacrifice his family like that Says a lot about the man.
- Really? - Roy was a hell of a guy, A hell of a guy.
- God, this this is so meaningful to me.
You you have no idea.
- God, I can't believe this vacation days b.
S.
At home, jinx is already gone.
Now without Brandi, that's a vacation.
Got vacation coming out my ears.
- So no loneliness issues? - Right, Marshall, 'cause I'm a people person.
Hey, barkeep.
- Excuse me.
Mary, Marshall.
- It's from Linda Ivey's mom.
You two sure are keeping up.
- Well, she was an extraordinary woman.
To lose a child like that, She didn't deserve Well, nobody does.
- Is everything okay? Gabe? - No, I want to see you too.
We can't.
Because it's against the rules, But I'm here for you.
No.
No, all I'm saying is that If that's what you want, then I'll honor it, But I think it'd be better if you came in.
I'm not even supposed to be doing this.
Okay, okay, hold on.
Mary, what are you doing here? - Well, I wanted to test out A theory on you.
There's this bartender I know Who prior to his gig Offering the sacrament of breadsticks and wine Was in love, Possibly with Linda Ivey's mother, Maybe still is.
He's Moody, Cut off from the woman he loves.
- The woman he loves? - Who he couldn't Bring into WITSEC 'cause it would scandalize the church.
Whatever was in that letter last night, Gabe, It threw you.
Look, trust me, I know men.
- Do you? - No, but I know of them.
- Wanna hear my theory? He misses being a priest.
- Gabe, what's going on? - Nothing.
- Oh, God.
You lying, the worst.
Please tell me she's not climbing out the window Like in some 1950s movie.
- Mary.
- Who the hell is that? - Who's that? Look, I don't know what the hell's going on, father, But corti and his guys, I see them everywhere.
I just I don't know - Pack your bags.
- I got your call.
What's going on? - Hell of a guy, you said.
My dad, hell of a guy.
You know, the last postcard I got from him Was three years ago, okay? So what you told me yesterday Might as well have been his official biography, 'cause that's all I know.
You know? Then I find this.
Mom was right.
So, uh, so what, was he a dealer Or a junkie or both? I mean, just tell me.
Who was my father? - Your father, he was complicated.
I came here Until half an hour ago, I thought my dad was a hero, and All right, look.
I don't want to be a child about this, But did he even witness a murder? - Yes, he did.
He was there.
There were two other guys.
Now, he didn't pull the trigger but he was - Oh, well, great.
He didn't pull the trigger.
Okay, well, yeah, maybe we could put that on his headstone.
I cannot believe this.
I can't believe anything.
I came here to just fill in the picture Just a little bit, and now all I got was - Gina, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to call a.
B.
Q.
Narcotics.
They're gonna have to come down here And do their thing, confiscate the drugs, The car.
- They can have it, okay? They can have it all.
- I'm very sorry.
I never meant - No, you know what? Just go, okay? - You didn't tell anyone? The cops at the scene? Your lawyer? - Cops have me.
I'm all they need.
Anyway, flora doesn't want to go into WITSEC.
She's got family.
- Family? Is she seeing them? Does she know how dangerous that is? Do you? - I'm trying to convince her.
I'm trying to save her from the people who killed Linda.
- Cops can save flora.
I can.
God, you coulda talked to me.
- I'm talking to you now.
- Yeah, I'm supposed to pick up a phone now.
Gotta let the a.
U.
S.
A.
Know there's another witness.
- I'll deny it.
I'll say I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Nice.
Thou shalt not lie? I guess that came off with the collar.
- Mary - you know what, I think we should take a look at your m.
O.
U.
, Really check the fine print, see if it says anything About video conferencing with hookers.
- She's not a hooker.
She's a stripper.
- Oh, well, a stripper.
Still, I'm pretty sure it's against the rules.
Look, you said she fled the scene.
How'd she know you were in WITSEC? - There was a note from flora is Mrs.
Ivey's - In the letter last night.
Told you.
Knew I knew men.
- That night at the church, When you watched me not praying.
- Checking for messages.
- That's how I see this.
Flora reaching out to me is a sign from God, A call.
- It's not a sign.
Okay, it's just what happened.
The other eyewitness called you up "a" then "b" then "c.
" The order of things matters, Gabe.
- I don't dispute that the order of things matters.
I dispute the order or things.
- God, have you ever even been to a movie? Flora calling you up weeks before the trial Is not a sign, it's a trap.
And even if it isn't, they could be on to her.
- It's not, I'm telling you.
- Yeah, how the hell do you know? - I know, I just do.
- Right, here we go, blind faith.
Except it's not even blind faith.
It's death-dumb-and-blind faith.
You're taking the word of a stripper on the lam.
- Faith is precisely about Taking the word of a stripper on the lam.
- Uh-huh.
Okay, good.
Right, well, I'll do my best to keep you safe, Gabe.
But if I don't, don't worry.
Frosty, Santa, The velveteen rabbit will save the day.
Trust me, I know.
I just do.
Come on, hurry up.
I'm taking you to a motel.
- Hello! - Oh, mom, in case you're wondering For next time, I keep the doorbell on the outside.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, I just got the place to myself.
Tell me you're not moving back in.
- I'm not.
Can I? - Oh, yeah, sorry.
Sit, stay, You know, for a little bit.
- Brandi was boxing everything for the move, And she grabbed this for me.
It was in her closet - Huh.
- I want you to have it.
I think you should have it.
- You think I should have your box Of outdated, never used vacation brochures? Mom, you shouldn't have.
You could have willed it to me Along with other things I need Suit of armor, One free banjo lesson.
What is going on? This is insane.
Why is everyone pushing me to go on vacation? And how did you even know? - Brandi said something.
- Right.
- Well, actually Peter did.
He said that she said something.
- So they're already one of those couples Who only talk in first person plural? - I guess.
- What is with vacation anyway? You're either freezing or humid, Dragging your ass from one tourist trap to the next.
- What about the beach? - The beach is ground zero.
Bunch of pasty fatsos Looking horrendous and smelling worse.
- Are you done? - Pretty much.
- 'cause I've been thinking.
- Four ominous words.
Go on.
- This box Is full of all the vacations I never got to go on, 'cause I felt I couldn't fit in To this this pretty world.
- Oh, mom.
- No, I it's not for me.
Go have fun.
Don't be left with a box of vacations.
- That is, um Disorientingly good advice, But I'm not going on vacation.
- Mary.
- I don't vacation.
- I know I am the last person you wanted to see right now.
- I already told you I don't wanna talk to you.
- I apologize, okay? I'm sorry I lied.
You deserve better.
You deserve the truth.
Not something wrapped up in a bow.
The reason I didn't tell you the truth was because Because you're young, And who the hell needs to be saddled With the not-so-sweet truth? And because I like you.
And I like the girl who told her friends A story about her dad.
- It's an explanation, Not an excuse.
- All right, okay, you're right.
Absolutely right.
- Just Tell me about him.
- Well, let's see.
Roy was a guy Who was constantly trying to get away with things.
- What kind of things? - Criminal things, But small-time.
You know, drunk and disorderly, Petty theft, petty everything.
Just enough to not quite get kicked out.
Your dad was a bad guy doing bad things For not great money and no good reason.
That's the truth.
- Keep going, I guess.
- Well, you asked me to check Roy's file To see if he specified a reason For not bringing you and your mom in.
I didn't have to.
He told me.
The reason he didn't have you come into WITSEC Was because he was a bad guy And he knew it.
And he, well, he did what he could To make moving on without him easy.
And as reasons go for this guy, It wasn't so bad.
- No.
No, it wasn't.
Thank you.
- Sorry I lied.
Now I'm sorry I even told you the truth, but I gotta go.
You have a good life.
- Gabe.
Gabe, open the door.
Gabe? Gabe! Clear! - Clear.
- Tell me you're not waiting for a tip.
Have you seen this place? - Thank you.
- Going from that condo to this, Talk about a fall from grace.
- Better be the only reason he's not calling me back.
- Feel like going to flagstaff? - Who feels like going to flagstaff? - Fans of route 66, Families on their way to the grand canyon, And priests who don't call back.
- Oh, my father Gabe.
- You're a half hour late.
- Well, talk to the driver.
We were going 50 since Kingman.
Thanks for the cash, by the way.
- You used it for the ticket, right? - Well, yeah, I mean, I used it but - Flora! They could be tracking your credit cards.
That's why I overnighted you the Mon Forget it.
It's very important that you're nest with.
Did you tell anyone that you were coming here? - No.
- Flora? - No, I swear.
Look, I didn't tell a soul.
- Okay, okay.
So what's going on with corti and his guys? You said you saw them? - Didn't exactly see them.
I just - Well, you said - it's just I have a feeling.
- Okay, listen, flora, You're in danger, I'm in danger.
- What do you mean? - Calling her wasn't good enough? You had to put yourself in harm's way.
- What are - they're friends.
I thought if I could talk to her face-to-face She'd reconsider comi into WITSEC.
- Oh, if you could save this stripper, It would make up for the one you didn't.
This is you trying to redeem yourself.
It's not your best side.
Let's get to the car.
- Oh, my God.
- Familiar faces? - Oh, Jesus, it's them.
- It's corti.
- Change of plans.
Come on, come on.
- U.
S.
Marshals requesting backup, Bus station, Malpais lane.
- Marshall.
- U.
S.
Marshals! - Drop your weap Down, get down.
- Come on, come on, come on, come on! We're on the move! - Take cover! - Flora! - Gabe! Feel like running? - Ways.
Don't move! Fine, move! Get your hands on your head, asshole! - Mary.
She's hurt.
- Watch out, watch out.
Stay calm.
- Ow, ow.
- All right, all right, all right.
- All right, all right, look, flora, listen to me.
You're gonna be okay, all right? I've had bug bites worse than this.
It's nothing.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Okay.
Gabe? Gabe.
- Depart, oh, Christian soul, out of this world.
In the name of God, the father almighty Who created you, In the name of Jesus Christ who redeemed you, And in the name of the Holy spirit Who sanctifies you, May your rest be this day in peace And your dwelling place in the paradise of God.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy, Do thou protect me from the enemy And welcome me at the hour of my death.
Mary, mother of grace, mother of mercy - It's okay.
We're safe.
Breathe.
- In the case of the United States government Versus Richard corti.
Please raise your right hand.
Place your left hand on the bible.
Do you, Gabriel Andrews, swear or affirm To tell the truth, the whole truth, And nothing but the truth? - I do.
So help me God.
TWO WEEKS LATER - Hey, we got any ribbon around here? - Ribbon? As in ribbon? - Yeah, I've got a going away present for the priest.
Got the gift of Gabe.
- Hilarious.
You know, giving gifts to witnesses Isn't really allowed.
- Yeah, "a," no kidding, "b," Gabe's opted out of WITSEC, And "c," what's it like for a pussycat To walk around in people clothes? - You seem something.
- Dazzling? Brilliant? Batgirl meets tomboy? A Jane Austen hero in a John Grisham world? - Breezy.
What's going on? - Look, why does something have to be going on? What's with everyone looking for signs And deeper meaning? I don't know.
I don't know, it's been a brutal year.
I think I just need to blow off some steam.
You know, jinx has been on my for weeks, Pushing me to go on vacation Like she's got some stake in orbitz.
- That's ridiculous.
- It's jinx.
I don't know, maybe I should just pick a bar, Down some shots, and do some cowboy.
- Uh-huh.
- What? What's uh-huh? - If you feel like you need To get something out of your system, If you need to go do some cowboy - What? - You've done the cowboy.
And when you weren't doing the cowboy, You were the cowboy, like with Raph.
You don't need to let off steam.
What you need is I get that you don't like messy.
But maybe messy is what you need.
Maybe instead of just anyone, You should be looking for someone, Someone who challenges you And calls you on your b.
S.
And gets in your face And makes you think.
What? - What? I'm thinking.
Stan the man.
Hey, you want this Gina Lucas letter back, You know, for your fridge? - Give me.
Just give me May I have it, please? - You realize it's gonna get around, right? - What's gonna get around? - That you're a dear, dear man.
Quick question though, the part in the letter About Roy telling you why he didn't bring His family into WITSEC? - Yeah? - Load of crap? - Yeah, it was.
He wanted to bring 'em just so he could have them around.
I just told him he was being an asshole.
- Like I said, dear, dear man.
- Mary.
You gotta don't do that.
- I am what many would call often as accusation A non-believer.
It's a charge I consider unfair.
Because all of us, No matter the connection we feel or don't, When sitting under the stars, Or feeling the world closing in, Doing what comes naturally, Or rearranging the furniture, All of us believe in something.
I believe in many things.
I believe in first impressions and second chances, For strippers, priests, And hopeless, hapless sisters.
I believe in telling the truth to the people you love At every possible turn.
And lying, just a little, At what seems the appropriate time.
I believe in finding people You'd run through a brick wall for, And making sure they know it, if not in so many words.
But mostly, I believe in justice Sweet, street, and otherwise.
Justice, that is my church.
Also, I believe in taking cookies out of the oven Two minutes early.
I mean, come on, right? - Absolutely.
Couldn't agree more.
And as for justice, We're not as far apart as you might think.
- "completely" is pretty far apart.
- Not knowing, that's a key piece of the mystery.
- Would you please? I'm not coming to mass.
You people are lucky I show up for the bake sales.
- I should be going.
I work this weekend.
My new parish needs me.
- Of course they need you.
Church in Vegas, God knows what those derelicts have been up to.
- He does indeed.
- I don't like you opting out of WITSEC.
Courtroom full of guilty doesn't make you safe, Even flora knows that.
- I'm glad she's coming into the program, But my mind's made up.
I got a new parish, a new city, One last name change.
Only the calling's the same.
To quote one of the all-time great philosophers - Please don't.
I am what I am.
- Amen to that.
Hey, listen, I got you just something.
- Whoa.
Should I open it? - Eh, in the car.
It's a sign.
Not your kind, my kind.
A sign, you can hang it on your wall.
- Ah.
- So - Bless you, Mary.
- Take a hike, father.
Oh, hey.
I owe you a punch line.
- That you do.
Let's hear it.
- A priest, a stripper, and a cop walk into a bar.
Bartender looks at them and says, "what is this, some kinda joke?" - May I interest you in a drink before dinner? Champagne or a sex on the beach? - You can interest me in many things, Jorge.
- It's Enrique.
- Uh-huh.
Many things.
Sex on the beach Being at the top of the list.
Get back to me when you've taken your sats.
- When you're done, just call.
I'll be glad to come back.
- I'll bear that in mind.
Nicest place.
- You know, I can't decide If it's merely disconcerting Or simply pathetic.
- What? What are you talking about? - That routine you were doing with cabana boy.
- First of all, there was no routine.
- Oh, please, he may as well have been delivering pizza.
- And secondly, there wasn't a cabana boy.
There was room service, and his name was Jorge.
- Enrique.
- Whatever.
- There's no sats in Mexico.
- And third, had there been a cabana boy, You wouldn't be the one in front of me in a towel.
He would, and minus the towel.
- I'm stunned, kitten.
- You gotta knock it off with "kitten.
" - I think this has had enough time to breath, don't you? - I can't believe I'm in Mexico With a guy who lets his drinks breathe.
- You know what, just give me a break.
- Mmm, wait.
You want me to give you a break? - Yeah, I want you to give me a break.
- God, you're an idiot.
- Oh, shut up.
- No, you shut up.