Inspector Gadget (2015) s03e06 Episode Script
Cuckoo for Talon - Fayre Game
1 Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Go, go, Gadget, go! Go, go, Gadget, go! Go, go, Gadget, go! Go, go, get 'em, Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Go, go, Gadget, go! Go, go, get 'em, Gadget Inspector Gadget Which apple is it, Penny? The Red Deadlicious or Granny Smithereens? The choice is yours! Which one? Which one? Isn't bombing for apples a blast? Did someone say bobbing for apples? Uncle Gadget, we need to Get as many apples as we can in our mouths at once.
Yes, Penny, that is how the game's won.
Go Go Gadget, jaw extender! No! How'd you know the key to defusing the bomb was grabbing both apples at once? I may be a bad apple, Gadget, but you're the one who spoils the bunch! Why wasn't I able to disarm the bomb? Nice work, Gadget! You've put that rotten apple in the compost bin we call prison.
But there's no time to rest.
Here's your next mission.
MAD's been stealing the world's loudest bells.
HQ believes they're going to make a bell so loud, it could destroy a city in a deafening blast.
And the target is London! This message will self-destruct.
Don't worry, Chief.
We'll make sure this case will go off like clockwork.
Or it'll be clear as a bell.
Wait, which line is better? Letâs go, gang.
Today, the bell tolls for MAD! And to let us know what time lunch is.
Speaking of which, have an apple, Chief! Curses! I've overslept again.
But this will be the last time! Did you get the bells? Only totally! They're in the MAD minivan, which is surprisingly practical for an evil vehicle.
Excellent.
With these bells, I'll build an alarm in Big Ben so loud, it will flatten all of London in its wake and ensure I wake! Wait, this is a clock mission? Donât tell me I have to work with Cuckoo Clockmaker, at your service! Time to get in gear and sound the knell for London! Easy, Schlockmaker.
I'll be the one giving the orders on this mish.
It's Clockmaker! And I'm the clockface of this operation.
You're just the little hand.
Little hand? My hand size is well above average! And I'm in charge! I'm in charge! Now get going and make sure the bells wake me up by noon, sharp, and destroy London.
But London bridge is falling down Falling down, falling What's the next line of the song? These roundabouts are fascinating.
Wowzers! Londoners are very aggressive drivers.
Keep your eyes peeled.
That MAD bell thief could be anywhere.
Perhaps I should ask that man with the swinging London haircut if he's seen anything suspicious.
Hello there, my coiffed comrade.
Have you seen a MAD bell thief? Hmm.
That fantastic hairdo must be blocking your ears.
Let me try again.
Have you seen a bell thief? - Okay, those bells could be anywhere.
- Bell thief? Maybe we should just stick together and No, wait.
I'll figure out where they are.
You stay with Uncle Gadget.
Are you gonna need a disguise for that? Hmm, maybe something with more pizazz? Whoa.
No, no, no.
Less pizazz! And that's just weird.
It's stuck? I guess the decision was made for us, right? Have you seen? The bell-stealing MAD agent! Get back here, you ding dong! Uncle Gadget, that's Brain, not MAD! I stole the bells, so I'm in charge! But the bells you stole are for my device, so I'm in charge! Whoa! - A little help? - I don't help, I supervise.
Lift harder! Phew.
Time's up, Clockmaker! You didn't really think we'd let you flatten an entire city, did you? You're coming with me! Or staying here until backup arrives.
- Or maybe - Gotcha, Pen! Next time, more action, less Whatever that was.
Hey, nice job almost getting caught, very leaderly! I was simply waiting for my lowly lackey to I'm not a lackey, I'm the boss! - Fine.
Then I'm the King! - Then I'm the King's boss! - The king doesn't have a boss! - Not according to constitutional monarchy! Whoa! I know you're out there somewhere, bell-stealer! You can't hide from the sweet chime of justice! There you are! Oh, look! A busker! Oi! I gave you five p! Start dancing, monkey! At a quarter to 12, one chime will give the city a taste of what's to come.
Then at noon, 12 chimes will ring so loud, London will lay in ruin! Time to escape, or contact Brain.
Oh, which one? I've seen better.
Stop, bell thief! The time for justice is at hand.
Hm.
Ah! What a racket you've made, Bell Thief! Go Go Gadget, bell silencer! You can ring, but you can't hide! It works! My machine works! Only henchmen build things.
You're the henchman! Look, let's just MAD chat Uncle Claw and settle this once and for all.
How much sleep does that guy need? There's only one way to settle this.
A good old fashioned villain off! The better villain gets to be in charge.
Agreed! But we'll need a judge.
First villainous challenge Evil Laughing! I go first! Whatever.
My turn! You both sound like deranged clowns.
So it's a tie? Next category Evil Quips! Ugh, this is such a waste of time! A-ha! She said "time!" It's kinda my schtick.
Fine, then it's time for my quip, and it looks like you're about to get clocked! Nailed it! Pathetic! My turn.
I put the "mean" in Greenwich "Mean" Time! And I put the mean in What does that even mean? I don't need to explain my quips to the likes of you! - Who wins? - Um I donât know.
Come on, this didnât even make sense.
Look it up, Philistine.
Who is Phyllis Dean? What are you talking about? Brain, get Uncle Gadget to Big Ben.
And hurry! The unmistakable tinkle of crime! You're no longer the âbellâ of this ball, Bell Thief! Go Go Gadget, hot pursuit! Wowzers! Who has the better evil eyebrow arch? Come on! Uh, this is hurting my forehead! I don't know.
You're both such losers! That's it! You're both losers! Decision, for the win! Wait, who wins? I do! Because the clock's run out for both of you! No, Penny, the clock's run out for London.
It's nearly noon.
Too little, too late.
Ha! Ah! Go Go Gadget, handcuffs! Stop, Bell Thief! Whoa, whoa.
No! My machine! And my spine! Yeah, you totally mangled those, like a boss! Later, leader! Huh? Where did he go? Thatâs odd.
Congratulations, Gadget! You saved London just in chime.
Thanks, Chief.
This calls for a celebration.
Go Go Gadget, celebratory bell ringer! That's the last time I work with the Clockmaker.
What a gong show! Snooze! Next chime, Gadget.
Next chime.
Talon! How long does it take to go back in time - and make me king of the world? - Little busy here! Hand over the Time Diamond, Talon.
I would, Pen, but you know what they say, time flies! Aw! See, Brain.
I told you chickens couldnât fly.
Oh, hello, Penny! Great work, Gadget! You kept MAD from putting the Time Diamond into the temporal flux accelerator and rewriting history.
I'll see that you're well rewarded for this! Keeping history safe from MAD is all the reward I need, Chief.
But a party wouldn't hurt.
And speaking of safe, we should really hide this Time Diamond someplace where MAD can't get it.
Ah, perfect! Uncle Gadget! - Whoa! - Ow! Aw.
Wowzers! The Chief wasn't kidding about a reward.
He's thrown us a Renaissance Fair theme party.
Come on, Brain! Where I mean, when are we? I know.
It's the time I made you ancient history.
Ha! Got it! See you later, Pen.
Like, a million years later! Ah! I hereby decreeth yon glorious gem shalt be the prize in my Royal Tourney.
All Hail King Dinkledorf the Serious! Huzzah.
Uh.
Hmm.
Terrible hygiene, hand-dug latrines, miserable peasants that smell of hamsters and elderberries? These actors have really done their homework! But there are a few oversights that can't escape a middle-aged Middle Ages buff like me.
For instance, I happen to know they didn't use crutches back then.
Hey! Ho! These ropes are historically inaccurate too.
Luckily, I have the fix.
Go go Gadget, rope rejigger! Evil! Dark magic! Burn him at the stake! Burning a steak is evil dark magic no matter what era you're in! What knight shalt steppeth forward to risk life and limb for King Dinkledorf's, and only King Dinkledorf's amusement? Me! Ow! Watch the hair.
Me too! The squire with the bewitched bangs shall be allowed to compete.
Ha! In your futuristic face, Penny! What about me, your Kingliness? Women aren't allowedth to compete.
'Tis unladylike for the weaker sex.
Oh, the things they were allowed to say in this age.
You are mistaken, sire.
I am no woman, for I wear no dress! Hm.
'Tis true, thine pants are manly.
But what of thine feminine pigtails? What pigtails? - Verily, thou art obviously a boy.
- What? For no lady knoweth how to don a helm.
My bad.
Are you for real? She's totally a You dare contradict Dinkledorf? Totally a boy.
And I can't wait to get medieval on "him.
" There is one more contender! - Huh? - What? My undefeated champion, Sir Ticklesworth, The Jubilant! More like Sir Loserington the Lameyloser.
Um That's Sir Ticklesworth, The Jubilant? Thank you for allowing me to examine your pitchforks in such close detail.
They seem quite authentic, unlike that pyre.
This is late-early Middle Ages workmanship.
Whereas, you should be going for middle-late Middle Ages.
You really need to pay more attention to the details, people! Ready the pyre! Now that sounds much more like something a medieval mob would say.
Now try, "Burn the evil to ashes!â - Burn! Burn! Burn! - Great! This theme party is getting more realistic by the minute! Let the Royal Tourney for yon enchanting gem begin-eth! Ye Olde Archery! Where's the trigger? Ow! My nose! No wonder everyone in the past is such an uggo.
Ha! Watch and learn.
Mine buttock! Ye Olde Axe Grinding! Anyone with a passing knowledge of modern physics knows this is the best angle for max sharpness.
Whoa! Mine other buttock! Sorry, Penny.
Guess you're not the sharpest axe in the Ye New Stonechuck! Shouldn't it be Ye Olde Stonechuck? Why? 'Twas invented yesterday.
Dinner and a tourney? Ooh! 'Tis good to be the king.
And 'tis nearly time to award yon gem.
But first, a duel! - Burn him! Burn him now! - It pays to be the guest of honor.
They've given us wonderful seats! Burn! Burn! Burn! These actors are terrible at lighting fires! We should help them out so they don't get embarrassed.
Go Go Gadget, fire starter! You're welcome, everyone! Hey! Um, how 'bout we team up and split the prize? I just need to hold the Time Diamond for a sec! Ow! Ouch.
So, just you and me, huh? Ah! Uh! Take that! You wouldn't hit a teeny, helpless, wittle girly-wirly, would you? Huh? Didn't think so.
But I am starting to think that helmets are an essential fashion accessory for fall! Ha! Well done, boy! Now cometh the last event, jousting.
The winner lives! The loser? Not so much.
Now that's my kind of event.
I look even more handsome in a saddle.
Bring on the horses! Horses? Nay! Thou shalt joust upon these.
Fine.
I'll take this and this, and this! Eat my stone-aged dust! Hold, boy! Dinkeldorf the Serious commands thee to taketh thy noble steed for yon chase.
Rideth like the wind, boy! Like the wind! - Burn! Burn! Burn! - This roast smells delicious.
You're right, Brain.
We could use a little more entertainment at this feast.
And I have something ultra-authentic.
Go Go Gadget, one man medieval band! Whoa! The witch hath strapped a dragon to his buttocks! Run away! Run away! Looking for this? Yeah.
Bring it! Your helmetâs not gonna help you this time! Oh! Forget diamonds.
Helmets are a girl's best friend! Thou hast won.
Well done, boy! Thank you, sire.
And here's something to blow your medieval mind.
I am not a boy! 'Tis true! Thou art a man, now.
And by royal decree, I have decided to keepeth thine gem.
Because I can.
Hey! I won that ye olde gem faireth and squareth! Telleth that to Sir Ticklesworth.
Wowzers! Nice helmet, Penny.
It looks much more authentic than that ridiculously unauthentic king.
Unauth unauth Seize them! Time to put the past behind us.
Yes, thanks for the wonderful theme party.
I'll just get rid of these few last historical inaccuracies for the next guests.
- Aw! - Oh! Talon, how long does it take to go back in time and make me king of the world? You know, it's time I get going.
Great work, Gadget! You kept MAD from putting the Time Diamond into the temporal flux accelerator and rewriting history.
I'll see that you're well rewarded for this! The Renaissance Fair was reward enough, Chief.
In fact, it was so much fun, I should give you a reward! - How about these? - Uncle Gadget! I hope time heals all wounds.
Yes, Penny, that is how the game's won.
Go Go Gadget, jaw extender! No! How'd you know the key to defusing the bomb was grabbing both apples at once? I may be a bad apple, Gadget, but you're the one who spoils the bunch! Why wasn't I able to disarm the bomb? Nice work, Gadget! You've put that rotten apple in the compost bin we call prison.
But there's no time to rest.
Here's your next mission.
MAD's been stealing the world's loudest bells.
HQ believes they're going to make a bell so loud, it could destroy a city in a deafening blast.
And the target is London! This message will self-destruct.
Don't worry, Chief.
We'll make sure this case will go off like clockwork.
Or it'll be clear as a bell.
Wait, which line is better? Letâs go, gang.
Today, the bell tolls for MAD! And to let us know what time lunch is.
Speaking of which, have an apple, Chief! Curses! I've overslept again.
But this will be the last time! Did you get the bells? Only totally! They're in the MAD minivan, which is surprisingly practical for an evil vehicle.
Excellent.
With these bells, I'll build an alarm in Big Ben so loud, it will flatten all of London in its wake and ensure I wake! Wait, this is a clock mission? Donât tell me I have to work with Cuckoo Clockmaker, at your service! Time to get in gear and sound the knell for London! Easy, Schlockmaker.
I'll be the one giving the orders on this mish.
It's Clockmaker! And I'm the clockface of this operation.
You're just the little hand.
Little hand? My hand size is well above average! And I'm in charge! I'm in charge! Now get going and make sure the bells wake me up by noon, sharp, and destroy London.
But London bridge is falling down Falling down, falling What's the next line of the song? These roundabouts are fascinating.
Wowzers! Londoners are very aggressive drivers.
Keep your eyes peeled.
That MAD bell thief could be anywhere.
Perhaps I should ask that man with the swinging London haircut if he's seen anything suspicious.
Hello there, my coiffed comrade.
Have you seen a MAD bell thief? Hmm.
That fantastic hairdo must be blocking your ears.
Let me try again.
Have you seen a bell thief? - Okay, those bells could be anywhere.
- Bell thief? Maybe we should just stick together and No, wait.
I'll figure out where they are.
You stay with Uncle Gadget.
Are you gonna need a disguise for that? Hmm, maybe something with more pizazz? Whoa.
No, no, no.
Less pizazz! And that's just weird.
It's stuck? I guess the decision was made for us, right? Have you seen? The bell-stealing MAD agent! Get back here, you ding dong! Uncle Gadget, that's Brain, not MAD! I stole the bells, so I'm in charge! But the bells you stole are for my device, so I'm in charge! Whoa! - A little help? - I don't help, I supervise.
Lift harder! Phew.
Time's up, Clockmaker! You didn't really think we'd let you flatten an entire city, did you? You're coming with me! Or staying here until backup arrives.
- Or maybe - Gotcha, Pen! Next time, more action, less Whatever that was.
Hey, nice job almost getting caught, very leaderly! I was simply waiting for my lowly lackey to I'm not a lackey, I'm the boss! - Fine.
Then I'm the King! - Then I'm the King's boss! - The king doesn't have a boss! - Not according to constitutional monarchy! Whoa! I know you're out there somewhere, bell-stealer! You can't hide from the sweet chime of justice! There you are! Oh, look! A busker! Oi! I gave you five p! Start dancing, monkey! At a quarter to 12, one chime will give the city a taste of what's to come.
Then at noon, 12 chimes will ring so loud, London will lay in ruin! Time to escape, or contact Brain.
Oh, which one? I've seen better.
Stop, bell thief! The time for justice is at hand.
Hm.
Ah! What a racket you've made, Bell Thief! Go Go Gadget, bell silencer! You can ring, but you can't hide! It works! My machine works! Only henchmen build things.
You're the henchman! Look, let's just MAD chat Uncle Claw and settle this once and for all.
How much sleep does that guy need? There's only one way to settle this.
A good old fashioned villain off! The better villain gets to be in charge.
Agreed! But we'll need a judge.
First villainous challenge Evil Laughing! I go first! Whatever.
My turn! You both sound like deranged clowns.
So it's a tie? Next category Evil Quips! Ugh, this is such a waste of time! A-ha! She said "time!" It's kinda my schtick.
Fine, then it's time for my quip, and it looks like you're about to get clocked! Nailed it! Pathetic! My turn.
I put the "mean" in Greenwich "Mean" Time! And I put the mean in What does that even mean? I don't need to explain my quips to the likes of you! - Who wins? - Um I donât know.
Come on, this didnât even make sense.
Look it up, Philistine.
Who is Phyllis Dean? What are you talking about? Brain, get Uncle Gadget to Big Ben.
And hurry! The unmistakable tinkle of crime! You're no longer the âbellâ of this ball, Bell Thief! Go Go Gadget, hot pursuit! Wowzers! Who has the better evil eyebrow arch? Come on! Uh, this is hurting my forehead! I don't know.
You're both such losers! That's it! You're both losers! Decision, for the win! Wait, who wins? I do! Because the clock's run out for both of you! No, Penny, the clock's run out for London.
It's nearly noon.
Too little, too late.
Ha! Ah! Go Go Gadget, handcuffs! Stop, Bell Thief! Whoa, whoa.
No! My machine! And my spine! Yeah, you totally mangled those, like a boss! Later, leader! Huh? Where did he go? Thatâs odd.
Congratulations, Gadget! You saved London just in chime.
Thanks, Chief.
This calls for a celebration.
Go Go Gadget, celebratory bell ringer! That's the last time I work with the Clockmaker.
What a gong show! Snooze! Next chime, Gadget.
Next chime.
Talon! How long does it take to go back in time - and make me king of the world? - Little busy here! Hand over the Time Diamond, Talon.
I would, Pen, but you know what they say, time flies! Aw! See, Brain.
I told you chickens couldnât fly.
Oh, hello, Penny! Great work, Gadget! You kept MAD from putting the Time Diamond into the temporal flux accelerator and rewriting history.
I'll see that you're well rewarded for this! Keeping history safe from MAD is all the reward I need, Chief.
But a party wouldn't hurt.
And speaking of safe, we should really hide this Time Diamond someplace where MAD can't get it.
Ah, perfect! Uncle Gadget! - Whoa! - Ow! Aw.
Wowzers! The Chief wasn't kidding about a reward.
He's thrown us a Renaissance Fair theme party.
Come on, Brain! Where I mean, when are we? I know.
It's the time I made you ancient history.
Ha! Got it! See you later, Pen.
Like, a million years later! Ah! I hereby decreeth yon glorious gem shalt be the prize in my Royal Tourney.
All Hail King Dinkledorf the Serious! Huzzah.
Uh.
Hmm.
Terrible hygiene, hand-dug latrines, miserable peasants that smell of hamsters and elderberries? These actors have really done their homework! But there are a few oversights that can't escape a middle-aged Middle Ages buff like me.
For instance, I happen to know they didn't use crutches back then.
Hey! Ho! These ropes are historically inaccurate too.
Luckily, I have the fix.
Go go Gadget, rope rejigger! Evil! Dark magic! Burn him at the stake! Burning a steak is evil dark magic no matter what era you're in! What knight shalt steppeth forward to risk life and limb for King Dinkledorf's, and only King Dinkledorf's amusement? Me! Ow! Watch the hair.
Me too! The squire with the bewitched bangs shall be allowed to compete.
Ha! In your futuristic face, Penny! What about me, your Kingliness? Women aren't allowedth to compete.
'Tis unladylike for the weaker sex.
Oh, the things they were allowed to say in this age.
You are mistaken, sire.
I am no woman, for I wear no dress! Hm.
'Tis true, thine pants are manly.
But what of thine feminine pigtails? What pigtails? - Verily, thou art obviously a boy.
- What? For no lady knoweth how to don a helm.
My bad.
Are you for real? She's totally a You dare contradict Dinkledorf? Totally a boy.
And I can't wait to get medieval on "him.
" There is one more contender! - Huh? - What? My undefeated champion, Sir Ticklesworth, The Jubilant! More like Sir Loserington the Lameyloser.
Um That's Sir Ticklesworth, The Jubilant? Thank you for allowing me to examine your pitchforks in such close detail.
They seem quite authentic, unlike that pyre.
This is late-early Middle Ages workmanship.
Whereas, you should be going for middle-late Middle Ages.
You really need to pay more attention to the details, people! Ready the pyre! Now that sounds much more like something a medieval mob would say.
Now try, "Burn the evil to ashes!â - Burn! Burn! Burn! - Great! This theme party is getting more realistic by the minute! Let the Royal Tourney for yon enchanting gem begin-eth! Ye Olde Archery! Where's the trigger? Ow! My nose! No wonder everyone in the past is such an uggo.
Ha! Watch and learn.
Mine buttock! Ye Olde Axe Grinding! Anyone with a passing knowledge of modern physics knows this is the best angle for max sharpness.
Whoa! Mine other buttock! Sorry, Penny.
Guess you're not the sharpest axe in the Ye New Stonechuck! Shouldn't it be Ye Olde Stonechuck? Why? 'Twas invented yesterday.
Dinner and a tourney? Ooh! 'Tis good to be the king.
And 'tis nearly time to award yon gem.
But first, a duel! - Burn him! Burn him now! - It pays to be the guest of honor.
They've given us wonderful seats! Burn! Burn! Burn! These actors are terrible at lighting fires! We should help them out so they don't get embarrassed.
Go Go Gadget, fire starter! You're welcome, everyone! Hey! Um, how 'bout we team up and split the prize? I just need to hold the Time Diamond for a sec! Ow! Ouch.
So, just you and me, huh? Ah! Uh! Take that! You wouldn't hit a teeny, helpless, wittle girly-wirly, would you? Huh? Didn't think so.
But I am starting to think that helmets are an essential fashion accessory for fall! Ha! Well done, boy! Now cometh the last event, jousting.
The winner lives! The loser? Not so much.
Now that's my kind of event.
I look even more handsome in a saddle.
Bring on the horses! Horses? Nay! Thou shalt joust upon these.
Fine.
I'll take this and this, and this! Eat my stone-aged dust! Hold, boy! Dinkeldorf the Serious commands thee to taketh thy noble steed for yon chase.
Rideth like the wind, boy! Like the wind! - Burn! Burn! Burn! - This roast smells delicious.
You're right, Brain.
We could use a little more entertainment at this feast.
And I have something ultra-authentic.
Go Go Gadget, one man medieval band! Whoa! The witch hath strapped a dragon to his buttocks! Run away! Run away! Looking for this? Yeah.
Bring it! Your helmetâs not gonna help you this time! Oh! Forget diamonds.
Helmets are a girl's best friend! Thou hast won.
Well done, boy! Thank you, sire.
And here's something to blow your medieval mind.
I am not a boy! 'Tis true! Thou art a man, now.
And by royal decree, I have decided to keepeth thine gem.
Because I can.
Hey! I won that ye olde gem faireth and squareth! Telleth that to Sir Ticklesworth.
Wowzers! Nice helmet, Penny.
It looks much more authentic than that ridiculously unauthentic king.
Unauth unauth Seize them! Time to put the past behind us.
Yes, thanks for the wonderful theme party.
I'll just get rid of these few last historical inaccuracies for the next guests.
- Aw! - Oh! Talon, how long does it take to go back in time and make me king of the world? You know, it's time I get going.
Great work, Gadget! You kept MAD from putting the Time Diamond into the temporal flux accelerator and rewriting history.
I'll see that you're well rewarded for this! The Renaissance Fair was reward enough, Chief.
In fact, it was so much fun, I should give you a reward! - How about these? - Uncle Gadget! I hope time heals all wounds.