Inspector Gadget (2015) s04e08 Episode Script

The MADstache of Professor Coin - MADthuselah

1 [wails.]
Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, get 'em, Gadget Inspector Gadget Inspector Gadget Go, go, Gadget, go Go, go, get 'em, Gadget Inspector Gadget [Dr.
When it comes to scheming, the maxim goes, keep it simple, Silly.
But evil's never silly.
So my new plan will follow the Three Cons: CONvoluted, CONplicated and CONplex.
Breaking into HQ to destroy their core reactor was impossible.
Until now.
Step one of my 986 step plan: order a trillion chocolate bars.
Step 1B: go to the zoo and steal all their hawks.
- Step 1C: train the hawks - [snores.]
to unwrap and sort the trillion chocolate bars into piles of milk chocolate and dark chocolate.
- Stop, stop! Please stop! - [screams.]
This could be so much easier.
Today is HQ's Picture Day.
I'll use the perma-disguisinator, pretend to be an HQ agent, get an all-access security ID and destroy the core reactor within the hour.
Silence! Now where was I? Oh, great, I've lost my spot.
We're going back to step 53V: inventing a machine that can milk dolphins.
Take notes, handsome.
Are you getting all this, Talon? [laughs.]
You've got nothing clever to say now, do you? Exactly! [camera shutter clicks.]
I hate Security ID Picture Day.
Mine always turns out terrible.
Oh, taking a glam shot's easy-peasy.
It's all about the smizing.
Relax your jaw, tilt your head exactly 18 degrees, and be natural.
But better.
- Smize! - [clicks.]
OK, smile.
Relax jaw, tilt head, be natural but better.
[camera clicks.]
Oh! Um, Penny, you might wanna fix yourself up.
I think you upset the camera.
Gadget! We have a mission for you.
Warning: these images might be disturbing.
Not as disturbing as Penny's security ID picture, but still.
We believe MAD plans to break into HQ and destroy our core reactor.
If they succeed, the radiation will cook Metro City like a sloppy bowl of microwaved beef chili.
Your mission: blow this MAD agent's cover, before they blow up HQ.
This message will self-destruct.
This is outrageous! Only MAD would dare ruin my 17th favorite day: Security ID Picture Day! I'll find them in a snap, right, Penny? - Where's Penny? - [whimpers.]
Oh, well, time for your picture, Chief.
[clears throat.]
- Hold this, it'll bring out your eyes.
- [bomb ticks.]
[camera shutter clicks.]
With the perma-disguisinator, nobody will be able to tell I'm not - [gasps.]
- Penny? Ha! Perfect! You look pretty good.
But if your plan is to be me, no one's gonna buy it.
What if they ask you a science question? "Duh" isn't the answer to anything.
I can totes handle being you.
I just have to be an annoying know-it-all.
One plus one equals I'm a nerd.
[blows raspberry.]
Oh, no! What's the MAD Professor Coin doing in the girls' washroom? [gasps.]
- [gasps.]
What did you do to me? - [Talon cries.]
Don't hurt me, you evil monster! [screams, cries.]
OK, Brain, it's up to us to find this MAD agent.
We need a plan.
Oh, I know.
MAD agents hate poison gas.
So, if I fill HQ with poison gas, we'll smoke that MAD agent out for sure.
- Huh? - Go, go, Gadget, poison ga - [Talon.]
Uncle Gadget! Uncle Gadget! - Huh.
It's me, Penny! Um, uh Biology! Penny? You look more like yourself than you ever have! Great Picture Day makeup.
Very you.
Uh, thanks? Anyway, I found the MAD Agent, Uncle Gadget.
It's Professor Coin.
The real head of MAD.
Professor Coin? I've never heard of him.
Which means he must be so sneaky and evil, he's flown under my radar for years.
Guys! That's not Penny, I am! Nice try, Professor Coin, but Penny's mustache looks nothing like yours.
Go, go, Gadget, garbage removal device.
Get back here, my lifelong arch nemesis that I didn't realize I had until just moments ago! [laughs.]
Uncle Claw, I'm already in HQ and ready to destroy the core reactor.
Not now, Talon.
Can't you see I'm busy explaining step 367j to Talon? Boy, is that kid dim.
- [Chief Quimby.]
Penny? - Yep! It's me, Penny! [chuckles.]
I like nerd stuff! Science blah blah blah.
Oh, Penny, no one does you like you.
But right now, it's your fighting prowess we need.
No prob! But maybe we should take my all access security ID photo before we forget? Good thinking.
You really are HQ's brightest young mind.
[camera shutter clicks.]
We've finally recreated a program that mimics Talon's exact fighting moves.
We want to see how you'll fare against it.
I'm no match for Talon.
He's so smart.
And strong.
And that hair! Ooh! His hair is amazing.
- But I believe in you, Penny.
- [groans.]
Ow! Oh, you! - [grunts.]
- Oh, no! - I am way too weak - [grunts.]
and nerdy and lame [groans.]
to face such an incredible specimen of hairhood.
I thought Penny would do better.
The program's only set to be six times stronger than Talon.
Wha? [thuds.]
Talon's so good.
[Penny pants.]
Get off my face, mustache! Go, go, Gadget, new old arch nemesis stoppers.
[bombs fire.]
Whoa! Uncle Gadget, you have to believe me.
I'm your niece.
No, these are my knees, and while they may go bad, they'll never go MAD! Go, go, Gadget, mad mangler.
I am Penny! I can prove it! Only the real Penny would remember you got me a bomb diffusing kit for my fifth birthday! You only know that from reading my published book: Inspector Gadget's Birthday Gift Ideas for Nieces! [yelps.]
Go, go, Gadget, Professor Pinchers.
- Core reactor, prepare to be - [Professor.]
Woo-hoo! No time to bask in the face-melting radiation of the core reactor, I need that genius brain of yours! Remember, Penny, only charge the ionic solution or you'll feel a pain so horrible it'll be burnt into your brain.
Literally and figuratively! So it's, um, this one? - [Talon screams.]
- [electricity buzzes.]
What can I do to convince you it's me, Uncle Gadget? There's no convincing justice, she's blind.
And also has trouble tasting sour flavors.
- Hmm.
- No convincing? Wait! [Penny.]
I don't need to convince him who I am.
This mission's about stopping MAD any way we can.
And who's MAD? Me! [Penny laughs evilly.]
Careful, Brain, the Professor is as twisted as his manly mustache.
You'll never catch me, Inspector Gadget, because, um, you are too, slow? [gasps.]
Slow? I've been called a lot of things in my life: Inspector.
Inspector Gadget.
But never have I been called slow.
You're not just MAD, [stammers.]
you're hurtful! Uh, sorry Uh, I mean [evil laughs.]
I'm gonna blow up HQ's reactor.
Catch me if you can.
- [sad music plays.]
- I'm too upset, Brain.
Some things can never be unheard.
Go, go, Gadget, too hurt to follow.
[sad music continues.]
No wonder Penny's such a killjoy.
Her life is the actual worst.
- [beeps.]
- P! Pen! P-Pen! [groans.]
What? It's an emerg! I'm out of strawberry lip balm! Should I buy more or should I move on to my blueberry supply? [fires.]
Ooh, so I should get bubble gum flavor? Sweet! Thanks, P! Someone's having a meltdown today, and it's not gonna be me.
Aren't you forgetting the MAD Professor Coin? [evil laughs.]
Y'know, that evil laugh's not half bad.
But it's too late.
You can't stop me.
- [evil laughs.]
- [Inspector Gadget screams.]
Penny? You're just in time.
We need your brilliant mind to help stop the MAD Professor Coin.
Go, go, Gadget uncle and niece brainstorming session.
Any ideas yet, Penny? Any ideas yet, Penny? Any ideas yet, Penny? Any ideas yet, Penny? - Any ideas yet, Penny? - No! And I'm not Penny.
That's Penny.
I never want to be Penny again.
Oh, hello Penny's friend.
How did you get into the super secure security ID pass access only core reactor room? - [groans.]
- [Talon.]
I'd destroy you, Pen.
But after seeing what you go through every day that would be doing you a favor.
Congratulations, Gadget, you stopped MAD from blowing the core reactor.
I just hope we've seen the last of the MAD Professor Coin.
He hurt me, Chief.
He hurt me deep.
It's OK, Brain, Professor Coin is gone for good.
Or is he? [mimics evil laughs.]
Aww, there's nothing like the sweet sound of a niece cackling, is there, Chief? Oh! [screams.]
[alarm blares.]
[computer voice.]
Auto-destruct in two seconds.
So those are all the 986 steps to destroy HQ's core reactor.
Ready to begin, Talon? [groans.]
This time, Gadget! [Dr.
This time! [Talon.]
It can't be.
How am I only finding this out now? What is it? Gadget's weakness? Even more secret.
Someone has a birthday coming up! And it's big.
Like "I didn't know numbers went that high" big.
Only because you have to stop counting when you run out of fingers.
I'm still young! Sure you are.
Compared to cavemen.
Compared to everyone! After you use my MADthuselah machine on them.
Its aging pulse will turn people old, and make me young by comparison.
You can start with all those annoying teens in Metro City.
- Don't forget your protective outfit.
- [beeps.]
- [Talon groans.]
- [laughs.]
[phone rings.]
Pen, it's a mega-mergency! Boy Dudez Con is on, and you're missing the cosplay parade.
I can't even! Sorry, K, but I'm going antiquing for the weekend.
Act your age, not your shoe size.
In metric.
- How is that a bad thing? - [tires screech.]
Come on, Penny, antiques wait for nothing.
Except the slow passage of time.
Wowzers, Chief.
Looking good! - Even packed up, you're wrinkle-free.
- And that's how I'd like to stay.
Claw is planning to use his MADthuselah machine on Metro City.
If he succeeds, everyone will be turned into a cranky, fist-shaking, things-were-better-in-my-day old person.
Your same old mission: stop MAD.
This message will self-destruct.
You picked the right agent, Chief.
Stopping MAD keeps me young at heart and on the ball.
- [bomb ticks.]
- [pants.]
[Gadget sniffs.]
Hormones? [sniffs.]
Body spray? [sniffs.]
Desperation? - Boy Dudez Con is lousy.
With youth! - [Brain sniffs.]
Making it the perfect place for MAD to strike.
I'd better blend in.
Go, go, Gadget, teen disguise.
Totally tubular! Text, text, text.
- You stick with Uncle Gadget.
- [grunts.]
I'll find MAD the old-fashioned way.
With cutting-edge technology.
This mission's gonna be as easy as Taking the MADthuselah machine from a baby? I'm not a baby! Hey, gimme! [grunts.]
Sorry, you're not mature enough to use this.
- What? - [laughs.]
You're almost as old as Uncle Claw.
I'm still young enough to whup your behind.
One second.
Take your time.
I don't want you to break a hip.
Without my help.
Now it's on like Genghis Khan.
[horn honks.]
[tires screech.]
- And you must be our new resident! - Huh? I'm so glad you found the right stop.
[bus driver.]
Most seniors never do.
Off we go! - [tires screech.]
- What? No! Come back! I'll never find that old bat.
Lost your grandma, little boy? You may be alone, afraid and awfully dressed but have no fear, the world's greatest detective is here to help you find your granny, and be back in time to stop MAD.
Wow! You can do all that, mister? [laughs.]
Golly! - [screams.]
- [yelps.]
Bad Brain.
That's no way to make a scared little boy feel safe.
He has a problem with people more adorable than he is.
Go, go, Gadget, brain sweetener.
You've never sounded better, Brain.
Now, let's find your beloved granny.
Onwards! [blows raspberry.]
Welcome to your new, old home! Change the dang channel, will ya? I need to keep my eye on the government.
It's too cold! What? I don't belong here with those old-o-genarians.
I'm not really old.
Of course you're not, none of our residents are really old.
That being said you're really old, so operating vehicles, blenders, "the emails", and remotes are a no-no.
No! That'll make me young again! No, it won't.
Nothing will.
But it's sweet you think that.
What? Metro City Park, hang out of hippies, old folks and old folky hippies who play folk.
- Strange.
- [kid giggles.]
There doesn't seem to be an oldie in sight.
I bet that mean doggy is scaring them away, mister! - [whimpers.]
Scary! - [snarls.]
He's more abrasive than scary, but I see take your point.
Better safe than sorry.
Go, go, Gadget, Brain Barrier! [Brain screams.]
Nothing to worry about, seniors, you can come out now.
Still no one.
Perhaps those old birds know something.
- [birds chirping.]
- [whirrs.]
Talon! What's the hold up? I'm not getting any younger.
Because they're not getting any older! Just think back to the Ice Age and chill while I blast Gadget with the MADthuselah machine.
Making my oldest enemy my oldest enemy? Yes! I'll never get a better birthday present ever! Not even if MADcat suddenly learned how to bake a cake that isn't terrible.
- [meows.]
- Do it! No prob.
I just need that blockhead to lead me to it.
If there weren't any old people here, how do you explain the bread crumbs? [Brain screams and crashes.]
Brain, I told you to leave that little boy alone.
Bad dog.
- [Brain sighs.]
- [Talon groans.]
Well now, that's a first-rate scowl.
- You'll fit in great here.
- I don't want to fit in.
I want to be young again.
We all do.
But ain't no way to stop the eternal whuppin' of time.
- It's the government's fault.
- What? I said, I need to get the MADthuselah machine back.
Is that what Nurse Attrick done took from ya there? Figures.
She's always taking things.
Our sweets, the remotes, Whatty Joe's ear trumpet What? Then maybe it's time we take back what's ours.
I have a plan, but I'll need your help.
Let's show Nurse Attrick we're not gonna stand for this kind of treatment anymore! What? [whirring.]
[Talon grunts.]
Ah, Florida! Your grandma's definitely here.
It's crawling with old people.
And alligators! [screams.]
All right, everyone.
It's prune time.
- Prunes! - [Penny.]
Fun, games and other off-limit things.
That must be where it is.
[clears throat.]
She plied me with prunes.
- I done plum forgot the plan.
- What? You're bringing this on yourself.
So I'm bringing these to the recycling depot! Bye! [laughs.]
We've gotta catch her! But how? We could take the bus.
All right, everyone.
Buckle up.
[tires screech.]
We've checked all the old people places: cruises, bingo halls - Where'd you learn to drive? - I didn't! [man.]
Ooh, are we chasing the government? A bus-load of screaming seniors? Finally, a clue we can follow.
Go, go, Gadget, old people pursuer.
[Brain and Talon scream.]
- Good riddance to agitating rubbish.
- [bus honks.]
[tires screech.]
Hand over the machine.
I'm sorry, but I think you've had quite enough excitement for one Wowzers! - Oh, you poor baby! - [Talon.]
[mimics baby crying.]
I'm totally a baby.
Compared to you! [gasps.]
I'm one of them now.
No! [grunts.]
Sorry, Pen.
I'm turning everyone in Metro into a bunch of blue hairs.
And there's nothing you can do.
'Cause you're old.
He's right.
I am old.
So I guess I should start acting my age.
Give your Granny Penny a kiss! [smooching.]
What a cute little thing you are.
What? [groans.]
Stop touching me.
I can't take this anymore.
I told you we'd find your gran.
This calls for a celebration.
Go, go, Gadget, old school party.
[disco music plays.]
Let's do this, for old times' sake.
I gotta shower, or this smell of mothballs and hard candy will never come off! [shudders.]
Congratulations, Gadget.
We can all grow old, knowing the world's safe in your hands.
I'm just glad I could reunite that little boy with his grandma.
Go, go, Gadget, hanky! [groans.]
We've never felt so young.
And we want more! More! Maybe Boy Dudez Con? I've got something even better.
Antiquing! [cheers.]
It's the same old story: failure.
But I didn't fail to get you a birthday present.
It's a gently used MADthuselah machine.
Next time, Gadget! [coughs.]
Next time! What?