Invader ZIM (2001) s02e02 Episode Script

Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars

Zim: My Tallest! My
Tallest! Hey, my Tallest!
My Tallest! My
Tallest! My Tallest!
Hey, hey! Hey, over
here, my Tallest!
My Tallest! My Tallest!
My Tallest! My Tallest!
Hey! My Tallest, my
Tallest, my Tallest!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest!
My Tallest! My
Tallest! My Tallest!
Hey! My Tallest!
My Tallest! My
Tallest! My Tallest!
My Tallest! Hey!
Hey! My Tallest!
My--my tall-- Hey, my Tallest!
It's me! Look at me!
My Tallest! My Tallest!
My Tallest!
I was curious to see
when you'd shut up on your own,
but it's been 3 hours now, Zim.
3 hours!
So, what is it?
I just noticed that
you're traveling
closer to the Earth
than ever before.
How do you know that?
Oh, I know all kinds
of things about you.
Pretty creepy, huh?
Anyhow, I was--
Hey! That is creepy.
You're creepy, Zim.
Heh heh. Yes, I sure am.
Anyhow, since you're so nearby,
you could come see me initiate
my newest, most diabolical plan
to destroy the humans.
I made sandwiches.
Uh, look, Zim,
maybe we'll stop by
on our way back from
wherever we're going.
- But--
- Sorry, Zim.
Uh, we're being attacked
by an enemy vessel!
- Aah!
- Ooh!
Oh, gotta go! Gotta go!
Enemy vessel. Ha!
As though anyone would
dare go up against the massive.
Yeah, that is pretty funny.
Hey! Someone's making donuts!
[both cheering]
Computer: Master, the
Tallest cut the transmission
an hour ago.
Hey, they did cut
the transmission.
The Tallest fail
to understand that
I'm inviting them
for front-row seats
to the end of all mankind!
My latest plan.
The latest plan is
about to explode.
[alarm sounding]
D'oh! This thing needs
constant adjustments
to keep it asleep,
but once let loose
on the surface,
it'll eat the brains
of all humans!
The Tallest wouldn't
want to miss that. GIR!
It's me!
I was the turkey all along!
I was wondering what
that turkey was doing there.
GIR! I'm delaying the
brain parasite plan for now.
I want you to--
I was the turkey! Me!
Yes, so you were.
Look! Just monitor
these containment levels.
I have to go to the
hollow interface room.
Look at me go. I'm doing it!
If those levels go
critical even slightly,
the brain parasite will
escape into the base
and bring about a pain unlike
any known form of pain.
What's your brother
doing this time?
He's not trying to raise
the dead again, is he?
Always with the dead, that boy.
He's talking.
Oh, is that all?
Daughter, some
people like to talk.
Your brother likes to
talk about insane things.
Maybe he'll become
less insane if you listen.
But his voice fills me
with a terrible rage.
I know it does, honey.
I know it does.
People, these are things
that we have to study.
We have to get right
in and take a look at it.
Dissect it.
Have to remove things.
Have to understand.
Anyhow, OK. Let's look
over the newer discoveries.
First you know all about
how I planted the
spy bug in Zim's lab
during the whole Tak invasion.
Mmm, yeah. You remember.
Ahh. Wasn't that beautiful?
Ahh. Let's go back
there for a second.
Hey! Look at that garbage can!
Zim: Yes! It is rather
impressive, that can.
I can spy on Zim
in his own base,
not to mention steal
data from his machines.
Second, Tak's crashed spaceship.
I hid it in the garage.
It doesn't fly yet, but I've been
able to use the onboard computer
to decipher some of Zim's data.
Good idea, Gaz.
Make some popcorn.
We'll be up all night
deciphering this stuff.
I wonder where Zim was going.
Zim: Do-de-do-do-
do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do ♪
Do-do-dah! ♪
Open a communication line with
prisoner number
777 on planet Vort.
Planet Vort? Time to wake
up, my little alien spaceship.
We have work to do.
Computer: Remote link enabled.
Planet Vort.
Once an ally of
the Irken empire,
the Vort supplied Irk with
advanced military technology.
Recently conquered
by Invader Lard,
Vort is now Irk's top
military research prison.
Huh. What is it this time, Zim?
Detailed control
schematics for the Massive
and instructions for
remote command chair.
The Tallest's command ship?
That would be wrong!
It'd infuriate the armada!
I designed that ship, you know.
Here you go.
Heh heh heh heh.
With this, I can
pilot the Massive
and bring the
almighty Tallest here
to witness my
ingenious evil. [Laughs]
Son, there'd better not be
any walking dead up there.
It's nothing to
worry about, Dad,
and I said I was
sorry about that.
Zim's bringing his
leaders to Earth.
Gotta act quick.
[both speaking
indistinctly and munching]
Whose ship is that?
[computer beeping]
All right. This is it.
Our first act of resistance
against Operation
Impending Doom 2.
Whoo! All right!
That's the Massive out there.
My people designed
most of that thing,
so I know how powerful it is.
We're gonna die!
Whose idea was this?
[indistinct chatter]
Ah, mine.
Sorry about that.
All: Aww.
[clears throat]
Well, if we can just
knock a hole in one of
the side storage pods,
we can steal the
snacks that fall out
to feed the growing resistance
we're gonna die! [Sobbing] No.
That's a Vort ship.
I didn't think there
were any of those left.
Call them and tell them
we're going to blow them up. Ha!
Aah! They're hailing us!
They're hailing us!
Quick, we need a name.
We can't form a resistance
and not have a name!
How about the Pirate Monkeys?
It's an awesome name.
Hmm. No.
We need something scary.
Something to strike fear into
all who hear of the resistance.
I got it! I got it!
Identify yourselves.
We are the Resisty.
- We have come to--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you say "The Resisty"?
Yes, yes. The Resisty.
Anyhow, we have come--
That's a stupid name.
See? I told you it was stupid!
Why do I keep listening to you?
I don't know.
Destroy them!
Fire some kind of
laser thingy at 'em!
Right now!
All: Whoooaaa!
[both laughing]
All: Aah!
[both gobbling]
Both: Aah!
[all screaming]
What's happening?
Why have we lost control?
All: Whoooaaa!
I can't wait to see the Tallest's
faces when they get here.
They'll be so happy!
All: Whoooaaa!
My Tallest!
Our weapons are offline!
We're defenseless!
Both: Aah!
You hear that?
Their weapons are down!
After them! Get those snacks!
What are you doing?
I'm running a manual diagnostic
to find the problem!
You save the donuts!
Both: Aah!
Hey! I didn't tell
the ship to do that!
I told the ship to do that,
and in case you're wondering,
I'm using your computers
to project this hologram of me,
and to control
your leader's ship.
Get out of my computer!
You'll ruin everything.
Red and purple: Aah!
Hey, quit it!
Let go! It's mine!
All: Aah!
Both: Whoooaaa!
Red: It ain't so bad.
Purple: I think so, too.
Both: Aah!
Whoo! Anyone
think that was cool?
Please respond.
They're getting away! Let's go!
Ha! Voice interface back online.
Computer, check each
system for cause of problem.
[both grunting]
Is that Irken
equipment you're using?
That's Tak's ship
you're sitting in, isn't it?
Yes, it is, Zim. It fell from--
isn't it!
I said it was!
Man, you have a
problem with listening, Zim.
Isn't it!
Computer: Warning.
Parasite containment levels
are critical.
Ohh, GIR!
Computer: Warning.
There's someone at the door.
Oh, let the
roboparents handle it.
That's what they're for!
[alarm sounding]
GIR! Get up! What are you doing?
I made mashed potatoes.
Yes, and muffins. Now
fix the containment levels!
Now, GIR!
Computer: Alert! Something
is happening at the front door!
Something horrible.
[indistinct shouting]
GIR! Take the Massive's
controls in the other room.
I have to go up above.
Yay! I don't know
what you just said!
Woman: Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey, everyone!
Hey, everyone! Hey!
Come on over, everyone,
and help us eat this little boy!
[indistinct chatter]
No! No! We're
normal! We're normal!
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do ♪
[breathing heavily]
That's bad manners, son.
I guess we haven't
taught you well enough.
We don't spend enough
quality time together.
[growling] Time to
learn you a lesson.
Aww. Let me get the camera.
Uhh uhh!
Man: Look both ways before
playing ball in the house, Bobby.
[shouting indistinctly]
Pay attention to the maid.
[woman shouting indistinctly]
Dib: Hey, quit it!
You're messing me up!
It's my ship. Would
you leave it alone?
Come on. It's my turn.
It's stuck. You know
you're doing it wrong?
Come on, let me try.
Come on, give it to
me. Please, let me try.
It's my turn. You know what?
OK, GIR, this is very important.
Go back to the containment room
and keep the levels right.
Do you hear me?
This is your greatest
moment ever. Now, go!
Tak's ship must
be really powerful
if it's more than a match
for your entire base.
You're losing, Zim.
Never! Check this out.
Aliens: Whoa, whoa!
Whee! Whoa
You're nothing, Earth boy.
Go home and shave
your giant head of smell
with your bad self.
OK. There's all kinds of things
wrong with what you just said.
[grunting] Uhh!
Aliens: Whoa!
Uhh! Uhh!
Aliens: Whoa!
Uhh! Uhh!
Aliens: Whoa!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Aliens: Whoa!
Aliens: Aah! Uhh! Uhh!
Uhh! Uhh!
Come on, son. Let's
go play in the toilet!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Lay down a force field!
Computer: Field in place.
P.s., I have located an
alien monitoring device
within the base.
Monitoring device?
Ha! I found your spy bug, Dib.
Computer, lock onto
Dib's transmission signal
and transmit a little
signal of our own.
What are you doing, Zim?
That's Irken technology
you're sitting in, Dib.
I'm just reminding it, is all.
Second computer: Security
defense systems activated.
Intruder detected.
Get your filthy alien meat
out of the cockpit.
What the? Tak?
Almost. I'm Tak's downloaded
personality interface,
and it seems you've stolen me.
Uhh! Ohh!
No! The Massive's almost here!
You got to let me in!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
It's over, Dib.
I think I've located the
source of the problem.
A signal coming
from planet Earth,
locked onto
Our power core!
Are we gonna blow him up?
Yes, but first things first.
We've gotta ditch
our power core.
Beam the power core
into the Resisty's ship.
It'll be their problem.
We have a problem, sir.
There's good news and bad.
A problem? How?
They're sitting ducks.
Aside from all the
insane flying around.
All: Yeah!
Uhh! Was that part
of the bad news?
Yeah. Our power core
has been teleported
out of the ship.
And the good news?
Well, it's been replaced
by a new, horrible one.
We're being pulled
towards a nearby planet.
We're going to crash.
It's going to hurt.
I don't want to!
[Shouting indistinctly]
Aah! I mean, evacuate the ship.
[all screaming]
Activate the
shrinky self-destruct.
No alien thieves
are going to steal
the secrets of this ship.
Computer: Shrinky
self-destruct activated.
Hear me, Irken scum.
You have not seen
the last of the Resisty!
All: Aah!
That's right.
That's still our name.
[both laughing]
Zim: Ugh! Watch, Dib.
Watch as I bring
a royal audience
to the downfall of
the human race!
I don't want to watch that.
Oh, OK.
Wait! That's too bad!
Because mankind ends now!
And to make it even sweeter,
I'll land the Massive
right on top of your
landing pad-sized
monster of a head,
which is disturbingly large.
No! Quit making fun of my head!
[Zim laughs]
[breathing heavily]
[crickets chirping]
What? Where did it go?
How? Nooo!
My Tallest! Tallest!
Laugh now, Dib.
Laugh while you still have
a brain to laugh with,
- because--
- Computer: Emergency.
In parasite containment.
Eh. Aah!
Uh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Computer: Long-distance
back online.
Now let's give our
friend Zim a call.
Yeah. I'm going to make him hurt.
My brain! My brain!
[Zim speaking indistinctly]
I'm going to throw up.
Red: No! Not on the donuts!
Robot: Pirate monkeys!
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