It's Bruno! (2019) s01e08 Episode Script

Welcome Bruno

1 You know I was talking to Ruby on Wyckoff Street the other day.
She said that Malcolm tried to kidnap a little boy.
Said she and some of the other parents had to put a beatdown on him.
Kidnapping children.
Truly a new low.
I'm mad I wasn't there.
I would've gotten me a couple of hits in.
I think he's losing his mind and his money.
They say he was begging for change with a empty cup on the corner.
He may be at his lowest, but with any downfall comes a climb.
Sometimes it can be a breakthrough of extraordinary proportions.
Be that as it may, he's still a real piece of sh You gotta let it go, Malcolm.
Well, I'd appreciate if you'd put these further in the back and not so visible to everybody.
We do sell a lot of this stuff.
I mean, you'd be surprised how many dogs eat shit.
Coprophagia's a real issue in dogs.
It's usually caused by malnutrition or a lack of attention from the owner.
Well, Bruno ain't one of 'em, and he's on the fucking cover.
Well, hey I got some more of that imported dog food - if you want it.
Huh? - Nah.
I can't afford that stuff anymore.
I was barely getting by from food from the bodega, but I can't goin anymore.
- Why not? - 'Cause the bitch overcharges.
- Just get it from the supermarket.
- Cuban Tone don't let me in with him.
All right.
All right.
So what do we got left? We got, uh, some PupMeal and some little Puppy Nibbles, - but those are for babies.
- Usually under the age of six months.
Puppy Nibbles it is.
Don't worry, Bruno.
I'm gonna get you some better dog food, all right? It's just temporary.
Come on, Bruno.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
You know the rules.
- No dogs.
- How the hell'd you get here so fast? Move this fucking car! Have a nice day.
You really want to get in there with him? Yeah.
Why don't you just, you know, do your shopping by yourself - and leave the dog at home? - 'Cause I'm not an absentee parent.
I'm not leaving him by himself.
Wherever I go, he goes.
What would happen if you were able to walk in there with him? - It'd be a celebration of song and dance.
- Ha ha.
Well that's a celebration I would like to see.
You know, I think I got a way for you to get him in.
- Really? - Yeah.
If your dog was a service dog, he could come in.
Technically by law, no New York City establishment can turn away a service dog.
Hmm, interesting.
I'm Malcolm, by the way.
 I'm sorry.
I asked for your dog's name, but never yours.
I'm Rosa.
- Of course.
It's there.
- Heh.
Uh, so how could I make him a service dog? I have a cousin that gets them.
It may take a little bit, but I could maybe pull some strings and see what happens.
- Really? You'd do that for me? - Yeah.
I've seen Cuban Tone turn you and this little cutie away too many times.
It's inhumane.
- I know.
- Heh.
What's his name? His name's Bruno.
I heard he almost got stolen once 'cause Tone wouldn't let him in.
Yeah, for real.
I barely caught the kid, too.
Lord knows what I would do if anyone ever tried to steal my Bella.
You know, I'd love to meet this Bella.
Well she'd love to meet you, too.
I looked into her eyes Bop-shoo-bop There I saw Smoldering fire Bop-shoo-bop I held her in My arms Yeah, I been training him for a while, you know.
On the threshold We stood on the threshold Bruno, Bella sit.
On the threshold Down.
Have a nice day.
Ooh-ooh-ooh Yeah I held her In my arms Bop-shoo-bop Golden flames Started to rise Bop-shoo-bop Malcolm! Oh.
Malcolm! As we stood On the threshold - We stood - Next thing you know, I'm in this dark street corner smoking crack with Crackhead Carl.
Yeah, that's how bad it got.
Well, well, well.
Look who it is.
If it ain't Lulu, the neighborhood dog-stealing whore.
What are you doing here? You shouldn't be within 500 yards of a dog or any dog park.
- Excuse me? - Watch your fucking mouth.
- Apologize.
- Hello, hello.
Excuse you.
So you're Lulu.
And who the fuck are you? I's the bitch that's gonna tackle your ass.
Trying to steal my man's dog and shit? - What the fuck is she talking about? - Nothing.
I don't know.
Look at her.
This bitch is crazy.
She's the crazy one.
She's been trying to seduce me and steal my dog Bruno for the longest.
You ever notice her snatching the leash from you? Paying more attention to the dog than you? - Knitting him sweaters? - That's right.
Screaming his name during sex instead of yours? What the fuck? Baby - everything he said is lies.
- Nah.
Ain't no way he know all that shit.
Come on, Penny.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Have a nice day, bitch.
So Look I know it hasn't been that long since we been dating, but we have been spending a lot of time together, and after seeing you handle that bitch Lulu, today Ha ha ha ha.
Well what do you think about moving in with me? Hmm.
Would Bella be invited, too? Of course.
Everything is different when you're in love.
It's like things just start to happen in your favor.
People are nicer to you.
All the strain you had before becomes distant memory.
And all that stuff that used to hurt you just doesn't anymore.
I think I'm okay with this being the way things are for a while.
Excuse me.
That's her right here.
- What the - Rosa Persad? Yeah.
Could I help you? - Excuse me.
What's going on here? - What's going on is that you're employing an undocumented immigrant in your establishment, paying her off the books.
You can either fire her, or they can conduct a full-on investigation, see who else falls in her category.
You call immigration? You ought to be kidding me.
So what's it gonna be? Sorry, Rosa.
Don't worry about it.
I'm done with this raggedy-ass store, anyway.
- Where do you think you're going? - Hey, Miss Persad.
- You gotta come with me.
- Hello.
Can I please get my purse? All right, ma'am.
- I think I seen you around.
- Don't.
So, how long until she's deported? Well, we gotta read her her rights.
I gotta cuff her, take her in, and we're gonna see what happens.
- But we'll get her.
Don't worry.
- Cuff her.
You know, she's taking a long time, not for nothing.
Ow! My car! - My keys! - What the hell? Got to admit.
That's some gangsta shit right there.
- Shh.
- All right.
All right.
Here you go, Judge Jizzel.
Well, well.
Aren't we on the up-and-up? - The tide's changing for the better.
- Oh, okay.
I ain't mad at you.
- All right, see ya later.
- Ha ha ha.
Bella, Bella? Baby.
Dear Malcolm, it hurt me to write this, but I had to leave.
That dog-thieving bitch, Lulu, called immigration and pulled my papers.
They was gonna deport me back to Trinidad.
I panicked and had to escape.
I wanted to say goodbye, but I didn't have time.
Plus, I wouldn't know how to say goodbye to you or Bruno in person.
Bella sends her love.
She really did like you and Bruno.
I'm gonna be on the run for a while, so I don't know when I'll see you again.
I'm gonna miss the both of you.
As for that bitch, Lulu, I made a quick stop at her place and left her a little surprise she won't forget.
No! No! No! She ain't the only one who can get information.
I left a present for you as well.
Wish I could be there to celebrate it with you.
Love, Rosa.
I guess it was too good to be true.
There's only one thing left to do in her honor.
And that's get Bruno some turkey meat.
Come on, Malcolm.
You're never getting that dog in this store.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
Have a nice day.
Welcome, Bruno.
Hey, Bruno! Come on.
Right this way.
Hey, hey.
We've been looking for you.
Ha ha.
Charlie! - Oh! - Hey! Yeah.
All right.
Good to see you guys.
Ah, my brothers.
Welcome back, Baby.
- Got a present for you, brother.
- Oh, yeah? We found him.
I love presents.
That's a headshot Click, click, bam, bam, that's a headshot Click, bam, that's a headshot Click, click, bam, bam, that's a headshot - Click, bam, that's a headshot - Yeah.
- Snipers on the roof with the red dot - Yeah.
- Shouldn't talk, you already sell lot - Yeah.
Thinking you can run, but you better not, yeah It's the beat that makes the fuckin' head knock, yeah Keep my nuts hanging like some dreadlocks, yeah Lookin' for change, but you know they don't care Claimin' you a leader, so you better not stare There's a person with your whole life course No idea what you really in for Not a milli or a billi, of course Give it up, or we gonna take it by force Not a homie, it's just me and my guys Not to worry, keep it silly, advise With some people that you really won't find For the millionth time, I'm just chillin', my God Click, bam, that's a headshot Click, click, bam, bam, that's a headshot Click, bam, that's a headshot Click, click, bam, bam, that's a headshot