JAG s02e09 Episode Script

Washington Holiday

Honour guard, attention.
Present arms.
Slow down, Your Highness.
Smile, Your Highness.
Parade rest.
Thank you, they're beautiful.
Give them to Georg.
- Where is Georg? - Two steps behind you at all times.
I light this eternal flame to honour those who died fighting to preserve freedom.
- Security breach! - Get her out.
Get her out.
Following in his father's footsteps as a Naval aviator, Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr.
Suffered a crash while landing his Tomcat on a storm-tossed carrier at sea.
Diagnosed with night blindness, Harm transferred to the Navy's Judge Advocate General Corps, which investigates, defends and prosecutes the law of the sea.
There, with fellow JAG lawyer Major Sarah MacKenzie, he now fights in and out of the courtroom with the same daring and tenacity that made him a top gun in the air.
Princess Alexandra is the daughter of the Romanian king.
Her bodyguard was assassinated in Brussels two days ago.
The killing was a warning.
If the king goes through with his plans to petition NATO for admission, his daughter will be assassinated.
Do they know who's behind it? A group of hard-line extremists longing for the good old days of the hammer and sickle.
Look, the king and his daughter are only here for 72 hours.
Now, during that time, she'll be attending numerous official functions.
In a significant political gesture, an American Naval officer has been chosen to be her escort.
An American Naval officer.
You, to be precise.
Admiral, respectfully, I'm a lawyer.
And a Naval officer who has been chosen for escort duty by the secretary of the Navy.
Sir, she should have Secret Service protection.
Those guys are trained for this sort of thing.
She will, commander.
This is her itinerary.
There's a dinner party at Senator Franklin's house tonight, a tour of Washington tomorrow, and on Saturday, the NATO ball, where her father hopefully will announce that he wants his country to join NATO.
The Secret Service limo will pick you up at 1700 sharp.
Try not to be late.
Do I have a say in this, sir? Not if you're smart.
Excuse me.
I'm Ensign Sims.
I'm looking for Lieutenant Roberts.
Oh, the lieutenant is in conference right now.
Is he expecting you? I wanted to surprise him.
Well, don't you find that most things surprise Bud? I guess so.
Sir? Commander? Sir? - Harriet.
Hey.
- Hi.
- You're a long way from the Seahawk.
- Yes, sir.
Reassigned.
Norfolk.
- Bud didn't mention you were coming.
- The lieutenant doesn't know, sir.
Well, well.
Bud, do you have that Phillips file? Mr.
Roberts? Oh, yes, sir.
Harriet.
Ensign Sims.
Get off your knees, Bud.
Yes, sir.
You look wonderful, Harriet.
Well, thank you, ma'am.
Commander, may I speak with you? Outside.
I was reassigned to Norfolk.
I'm the assistant to the Public Information Officer.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
And, well, since I'm the new kid in port, I thought maybe you could, you know, give me a few tips.
See if you could keep me from falling all over myself.
You know how I value your experience, sir.
Well, yeah, you know, I'm always very glad to help.
Well, when awkwardness goes to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights to Bud's head.
Come on, Harm.
It just takes him a while to get warmed up.
Warmed up? Love isn't baseball, Mac.
How would you know? - Oh, hey, let me give you a hand.
- In dress whites? I don't think so.
I couldn't afford the cleaning bill.
- Meghan O'Hara.
- Harm Rabb.
I know.
Read your name on the mailbox.
The Navy must be paying you more than I thought if the limo's for you.
Government issue.
Don't tell me you're a protocol officer.
Well, it's temporary.
Most days, I'm a lawyer with JAG.
- You? - Reporter.
You're looking at the Post's newest columnist.
- Politics? - I wish.
It's more of a lifestyle thing.
Best imported mustard.
Best hand car wash.
How to decorate on a budget.
That sort of thing.
Decorating.
I could probably use your help upstairs.
I think I might be overdoing it a little.
We're on a schedule here, commander.
Duty calls.
When you get off duty, I'd be glad to give you that hand, in exchange for dinner.
Well, hey, I'd like that.
But I gotta warn you, it's a work in progress.
Isn't everything? If you don't mind me asking, when you meet a guy and he asks you out, well, which one? How do you know who? What works? - Well, why not ask Commander Rabb? - I'd rather ask you, ma'am.
You're really pretty, and don't take offence, but I noticed that you don't go out a lot.
You have a unique way with a compliment, Bud.
No, I didn't mean to imply that you can't get a date, I just figured that you don't go out much because you're really, really choosy.
Let's just hope that's really, really true.
That's what I wanted to find out.
To find out what works with you.
- A reckless sense of humour.
- Jokes? There's nothing more interesting than a man who finds the world amusing.
Someone who doesn't take himself seriously.
Someone who makes it all fun.
The only problem is I never say anything funny unless it's by accident.
Oh, God.
Tell me you asked Harriet out.
No, ma'am.
It's just, I was so worried about saying the wrong thing that I couldn't find the words.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time you saw Ensign Sims, she kissed you.
I thought that was just gratitude.
Commander.
You are late.
Lieutenant Commander Rabb.
You're late.
My apologies, Your Majesty.
I thought the commander would be someone older.
Let me assure you, Your Majesty, the commander is perfect for the job, despite his tardiness.
Minister Kepish, Commander Rabb.
The minister is paving the way for King Josif's return.
Actually, Vartan has been spending his time helping my daughter make what has proven to be a rather difficult transition.
Well, it's hard to be regal when people are shooting at you, Father.
Hopefully, now that we are guests of the United States, such a tragedy will not be repeated.
I can assure you it won't, Your Majesty.
My dear, may I present Commander Rabb.
- Commander, the Princess Alexandra.
- Your Highness.
Commander.
You're a pleasant surprise.
And how is that, Your Highness? Well, usually Minister Kepish arranges for someone much older and quite unattractive.
Shall we go? I assure you, he's not what he looks like.
Yes, that's what I was just telling the senator.
The White House is the people's house.
The Lincoln bedroom should not be put up for sale to the highest bidder.
Well, I wouldn't know anything about that, ma'am.
Oh, of course you do, commander.
You're just too damn polite to agree with me.
Ms.
Albright now serves as secretary of State Don't you think you should take it a little easy, Your Highness? Not when I'm bored to death.
Besides, I like champagne.
Well, let's hope champagne likes you.
It loves me.
She's beautiful, isn't she? Quite beautiful, senator.
You know, she turned me down three times, and finally I offered her the moon, and she said yes.
Sounds like you were confusing courtship with campaign promises, senator.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go powder my nose with your wife.
That is the proper euphemism, isn't it? What do you think she meant by that, commander? That she had to go to the bathroom, and so do I, sir.
- If you'll excuse me, senator.
- Sure.
You lose something, commander? She's in the powder room.
She told me to give you her clothes and went out the window.
There it is.
The Zoo Club.
There's a flier in her purse.
Let's hope she's here.
This is it.
We'll get her.
Hey, you wanna keep this low-profile, right? She gets one look at you guys and she's out of there.
Now, on the other hand, she likes me.
Think it's the uniform? Hey, didn't you used to be with the Village People? Your Highness.
Prince Charming.
Where's Frick and Frack? You're not safe here.
You have beautiful eyes.
We're leaving, Your Highness.
No, you are.
That is so cool.
- Like An Officer and a Gentleman.
- Princess, turn.
Just a smile, please.
Thataway.
Right this way.
You're about to be famous, commander.
Here we go, please, one more.
Thank you.
- Nice to see you keeping a low profile.
- You know, I hate the paparazzi.
Last year, one snuck into my room and photographed my panties.
Do you want to know why? You better ride in the back with us.
Come in, commander.
Do come in.
Unlike Minister Kepish and Mr.
Webb, I'm just grateful you found Alexi and you were able to bring her home.
Well, I really didn't give her a choice, Your Majesty.
Do sit down.
You see, commander, Alexandra needs a firm hand.
She's already been thrown out of three Swiss boarding schools, and last spring, she even tried to elope with her bodyguard.
Some people feel that I've failed in my duties as a father.
Well, I'm sure you did the best job you could, Your Majesty.
I tried.
But her mother died when she was 6.
Oh, may I, Your Majesty? I do not need you to pour my brandy, Mr.
Webb, in order to get me to join NATO.
I'm simply trying to be of service, Your Majesty.
I have no hesitation in joining NATO.
In fact, I'm more than willing to explore the possibility of putting an American Naval base on the Black Sea.
That's wonderful, Your Majesty.
But there are hardliners at home who threaten to murder the princess if I do either.
What would you do, commander? Well, I thank God I don't have to make that decision, Your Majesty.
For the moment, assume that you did.
You were reinstated to the throne, Your Majesty, by the people of your country.
With that power comes obligation, duty, and unfortunately, risk.
If you can't live with the risk, then you should not be king.
- Harm.
- Please, Mr.
Webb.
The commander may be blunt, but he's absolutely correct.
You don't tell a king to give up the throne, for God's sake.
I didn't say that.
He's gonna join NATO, give us a Naval base, and you told him to get out of the kitchen if he couldn't stand the heat.
- What would you have told him, Clay? - That we could protect the princess.
And we can.
Interpol agents have picked up the Brussels shooter.
He's being debriefed as we speak.
Once we break up who's behind this, the danger will be no greater than it is for any other national leader.
- And until then? - We take no chances.
I'm changing her itinerary.
You pick the princess up at 0900 tomorrow.
Instead of a tour of Washington, take her to Norfolk.
Show her a big ship.
Girls like that.
- Whose idea was this? - Mine.
You don't like it? No, I like it fine.
That's why I wondered whose idea it was.
Lieutenant.
Bud.
What are you doing here? What do you think about dinner? It's a meal I usually enjoy.
Especially when I can share it with somebody else.
I know.
I hate to eat alone.
Maybe you should have dinner sometime, with me.
Would that be okay? I think I can manage that, yeah.
Great.
Eight o'clock tomorrow night.
Le Tuers.
Le Tuers.
Sounds nice.
Okay.
Stair there.
Okay.
- Good night.
- Night.
Throw an extra 20 percent on the tip.
Oh, hey, are you still at it? I figured you'd be sacked out after a day of lugging boxes.
I'm going for coffee.
I won't survive in the morning without it.
Well, you could have borrowed some from me.
I thought you might have company.
Like I said, tonight I was on duty.
- Off now? - Off now.
I told you, work in progress.
Yeah, but what you're doing with the place is wonderful.
- Milk? Sugar? - I take it black.
Do you have any before photos? - Of this place before I moved in? - Yeah.
No.
Probably looked a lot like yours, though.
That is a great idea.
I could take pictures of my place and use it for yours.
I'd just have to watch the up angles to avoid the rafters.
For what? A Sunday layout in the Post.
This place is not gonna be done for quite some time, Meghan.
I'll be around.
Thanks for the coffee.
Hey, that's what neighbours are for.
Just coffee? It's so big.
Well, not when you're trying to land at night in the black.
So it's dangerous? It has its moments, Your Highness.
I hate it when you call me "Your Highness.
" Call me Alexi.
Very well, Alexi.
That's better, Harm.
How'd you know my name was Harm? Just shorten it? I heard Mr.
Webb call you Harm last night, when he was so upset at your speaking so frankly to my father.
You were eavesdropping.
- Attention on deck.
- Hello.
As you were.
I've been eavesdropping ever since I was 5.
How else can one learn to rule, huh? You don't act like someone who wants to rule.
Well, I suppose I don't have to yet, and I hope I never do.
But reality says that one day, when my father is gone, I'll be queen.
Not if he gives up the throne.
He can't do that.
Our country needs him.
Besides, if he did that, we wouldn't join NATO.
And you wouldn't get your Naval base.
- Well, you're full of surprises, Alexi.
- Good.
Royalty should never be predictable.
- Will you be at the ball tomorrow? - Yes.
Well, then, I insist on the first dance, and the last.
- When royalty commands, I obey.
- Well, good.
Princess, will you get inside, please? That really isn't a very good idea.
Well, I thought it was a damn good idea.
Too bad I didn't think of it.
Hey, slow down, Roberts.
- Oh, Bud.
- I'm late, I'm late.
For a very important date.
- Ma'am.
- Thank you.
- I'll be right back with the wine list.
- All right.
Great.
I'm a dead man.
- Ensign Sims.
- Lieutenant Knox.
- What are you doing here? - Getting stood up.
Stupid man.
Why don't you let me buy you a drink? - All right.
- Good.
Actually, I know this place right over here.
It's really good.
I will.
Thanks, Les.
Good evening, ma'am.
I went to Le Tuers and you weren't there.
I had a drink with Lieutenant Knox.
I had a flat on a deserted bridge and I had no spare.
It's okay, sir.
I'm sorry, I couldn't call.
I understand, sir.
You're angry with me, aren't you? I have tickets to the NATO ball.
It's kind of a big deal.
Lieutenant Knox just asked me.
Good night.
Sorry about the noise.
Guess I'm not used to having a downstairs neighbour.
- Alexi? What happened to your hair? - Oh, it's a piece.
Kepish wears it on the weekends.
What are you doing here? I came to spend the night.
- Where's Agent Culp? - Oh, I don't know.
Probably in bed, fantasizing he's Clint Eastwood.
- Do you have any wine? - You're going home right now.
- I can't.
- Why not? Well, I just can't.
What did you do, Alexi? Well, it's not so much what I did, but what I heard.
Minister Kepish told Father that he believes someone on the royal staff is with the hardliners.
Yeah, they could slit my throat while I sleep.
Minister Kepish said this? Well, not exactly, but I'm really not safe at the residence.
Oh, but you're safe crossing half of Washington in the middle of the night? Well, probably not.
But I'm already here.
- You're going straight home.
- No.
Now, no one saw me sneak out.
Besides, if you take me back now, Father will lock me in the tower forever.
Your residence doesn't have a tower.
It does in Romania.
Oh, come on, Harm.
Let me stay.
Please? I'm safer with you.
Now, even Father thinks so.
He said you're the first man that he felt safe to leave me with.
- Your father said this? - Oh, yeah.
Harm I can be myself with you.
Just Alexi.
Maybe for the last time in my life.
Harm? Harm, it's Clayton.
Oh, no, he'll never believe this.
In the shower.
Come on, I know you're here.
Your Corvette's in the garage and your light's on.
Turn the light off.
Where's the switch? - What took you so long? - I was in the bathroom.
With a hammer? What do you want, Clay? She's gone.
Slipped past security sometime in the last hour.
The princess? No, Chelsea Clinton.
Of course, the princess.
What was that? - Pigeons.
- Pigeons? It's mating season.
Sex is a full-contact sport if you're a pigeon.
Have you got any aspirin? In the bathroom.
I'll get it.
You know, Clay, she may be a spoiled kid, but she's not stupid.
I mean, she's probably fine and she'll be back before you know it.
Yeah, if she left of her own free will.
The assassin they're interrogating in Brussels has said enough to lead us to believe that they have planted someone in the royal entourage.
I know.
How do you know? Alexi told me earlier that Minister Kepish suspected one of the hardliners on their staff.
Kepish is trying to talk the king into skipping the ball and going home.
He believes the princess doesn't stand a chance otherwise.
Princess? Sorry.
I didn't mean to eavesdrop.
I was just returning the coffee, and the door was open.
Meghan O'Hara, I'd like you to meet Clayton Webb, who was just leaving.
- How much did you hear? - Clay.
Anything you heard is classified.
Is that the same as off the record? Oh, God.
You're a reporter.
Don't say another word, Meghan, or Clayton will have you incarcerated in the name of national security.
I'm just a downstairs neighbour who didn't hear a thing.
Good.
If the prin - If she contacts you - You'll be my first call.
She's flown the gilded cage, hasn't she? Thanks for bringing back the coffee.
I smell a story.
You smell coffee.
You keep this up, and Webb will really make sure you disappear for a couple of days.
Until the Romanian princess goes back to Romania? - Are you deaf? - No, I'm a reporter.
Or, I was trained to be one.
I just took the Heloise gig to get onto the Post.
Press passes to the NATO ball are scarcer than Cuban cigars.
The Post only got one, and it went to the political editor.
How unusual.
He's older than dirt and will be asleep by the second waltz.
How about getting me a pass? Sorry, no can do.
I promise to be a great neighbour, never complain about the pound I said, no, Meghan.
Guess I'm destined to columns on how to shop garage sales.
You know, it can be an art.
Thank you.
For what? For not doing what most men would have done for a pretty paparazzi.
Meghan is not paparazzi.
She writes a homemaker column for the Sunday Post.
Most of the men I've known would've given her anything she wanted.
You've known the wrong kind of men.
- Yes, I suppose I have.
- No, no.
- Why not? - Because you're - What? Too young? - Yeah, you're too young.
I don't believe you.
There has to be another reason.
- There is.
- What? You're an assignment, princess.
- That's all I am to you? - Yes.
Well, my apologies, commander.
You can take me home now.
I said, you may take me home.
Good morning, lieutenant.
Everything okay? Why? Because I look like something that died underneath the front porch? You have a wicked sense of humour, lieutenant.
Do you dance? Doesn't everyone? Not exactly.
It's like this dance tonight The NATO ball.
- I wanna go, but I just - But you don't have a date.
No.
Well, you do now.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Looks like I'm going to the NATO ball.
Ensign Sims? Ensign Nestor.
How the hell did that happen? I'm not exactly sure.
"If you announce an alliance with NATO tonight, Princess Alexandra will die.
" It was found on the fax machine just a few moments ago, sire.
We cannot go through with this, Vartan.
Nothing is worth losing Alexi.
Our country needs you, Your Majesty.
But you have to follow your heart.
My heart says to protect my daughter.
Perhaps you could delay your announcement, even rethink the wisdom of joining NATO.
Our country needs NATO for protection and the trade it will open us up to.
But if I lose Alexi My apologies, Your Majesty, but there's no time for diplomacy.
- How dare you.
- How dare you, sir? It took 56 hours, but the assassin in Brussels finally named names.
And at the top of the list were Novac and Minister Kepish.
That's a lie.
Your Majesty, how can you possibly believe the lies of a woman tortured by the Belgian police? How did you know the assassin was a woman, minister? They didn't even tell me that until an hour ago.
You've known her since she was a child.
A spoiled child who wallows in champagne and caviar while our people starve.
They starved under the hardliners, not me.
I am changing that for our people.
By selling out to the Americans.
I warn you, Josif.
You make that announcement tonight, and Alexi will be dead by sunup.
Get these men out of my sight.
By sunup, Josif.
By sunup.
Oh, my God.
Admiral, it's so nice to see you.
I know this is like dancing with your sister, but you could just pretend it's fun.
Mac, I don't think of you as a sister.
- You don't? - No, I don't.
But we should kick your game plan into gear soon, because after the king and princess arrive, we both need to be alert.
Security everywhere, Harm.
Well, it never hurts to have more eyes.
Major MacKenzie, I'd like to introduce you to Lieutenant Knox.
- Very pleased to meet you, major.
- Very pleased? How nice.
Yes, ma'am.
I'm a great admirer of your legal prowess.
Oh, anyone's who's an admirer of my legal prowess, I have to dance with.
- If Harriet doesn't mind.
- She doesn't.
- Do you, Harriet? - Of course not.
Enrique, dame otro! He is coming.
Bud.
Ensign Nestor.
Having a good time? Oh, yes, sir.
- Where's the champagne? - Champagne? Why, thank you, lieutenant.
That would be lovely.
- Dance? - Well, that would be even lovelier.
Harriet.
How's your life at Norfolk? - Do you really care, sir? - Of course I care, Harriet.
Then why are you here with Ensign Nestor? That was an accident.
You can't ask me out on purpose, but you can ask her out by accident? You were mad at me and she laughed at one of my jokes.
At least, I think it was a joke.
You know what worries me, Bud? I'm starting to understand what you're saying.
Oh, Harriet, I'm really, really glad you're here in Washington.
When I saw you at JAG, it was like eating Mexican food.
You know how your heart gets all tingly and you can't catch your breath because your whole body feels like it's on fire? I've been waiting for you to say that.
- Dance? - No.
But I'd sure like to try.
- Do you know Ensign Nestor? - No, but I'd like to.
- Would you like to dance? - Love to.
- How'd you know he'd go for her? - I didn't.
But I knew he'd go for the dress.
We're in good spirits.
- Any word on the assassin? - There is no assassin.
That was just Kepish's last-ditch effort to keep the king from announcing his intentions with NATO.
- Will he do it? - I hope so.
It would be a big night for the United States.
And you.
That goes without saying, major.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are most grateful for the warm-hearted welcome that you have extended to us, and we would like to express our gratitude to the United States for the great honour that it has bestowed upon our country.
It has taken 50 years for Romania to move out from under the shadow of domination into the sunlight of free nations.
To accomplish this, we welcome the help of freedom-loving nations everywhere.
Thank you.
- Father.
- I can't, Alexi.
I will not risk losing you.
You'll have to forgive me if I'm nervous, but I'm still new at speaking in public.
It is a skill that I intend to master, starting now.
She's gonna do it.
I have the honour of announcing that tomorrow the king will petition for Romanian membership into NATO.
Yes.
- Gun! - Get down! Get down! Get down.
Do you remember the first words that I said to you, commander? Yes, sir, I believe you wanted somebody older.
I was afraid that you would succumb to my daughter's charms and forget your duty.
A valid fear, Your Majesty.
Fortunately, the princess always remembered her duty.
Yes.
The princess has found herself.
That was a hell of a shot.
Hell of a shot.
That's why I got the gold medal and you got the silver.
Absolutely, sir.
I'd be more than happy to show you around JAG headquarters.
I had an opportunity to visit your country in '94.
Perhaps you could visit it again, admiral.
On one of our warships.
Why don't we start with a supply ship, Mr.
Webb? Bearing gifts is more polite than bearing arms.
- Excellent idea.
- Absolutely smashing.
That's very funny, sir.
We ended up at an all-night diner eating cheeseburgers and onion rings.
My kind of place.
And then you took her home.
- Yes, ma'am.
- And? Red light, major.
Excuse me.
Have you seen Commander Rabb? He's probably having a cigar out on the balcony.
Thank you.
Our people have been fed so much propaganda over the years that providing an American Naval base will not be easy.
No, princess, I imagine not.
There are many details that'll have to be worked out before one of your ships can even visit us.
Well, I'm sure Mr.
Webb will be most accommodating.
He already has been.
I've requested that you be on the American delegation as legal representative, and Mr.
Webb agreed.
It would be an honour, princess.
Yes, it will, commander.

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