JAG s04e23 Episode Script

Yeah Baby

Okay, Harm, it's pizza night.
My stomach's growling.
What say we trap this time? Tomcat 173, you're at a mile and a quarter.
Call the ball.
One-seven-three Tomcat Clara, 3.
6.
Bend left, Harm.
One-seven-three Tomcat Ball, 3.
5.
Roger, ball.
You're a little low.
Power.
Power.
Power! You're not taking this personally, are you? All is fair in love, war and the courtroom, right? Wrong.
- Wanna talk about this? - No, I don't.
Look, major, I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us.
There is nothing between us, good, bad or otherwise.
And if you try to stop this door from closing one more time, I will dislocate your shoulder.
Blimey, I like your style, major.
You must be a hellcat in-- - Well, good morning.
- Hey.
Well, this is a surprise.
I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd come over and make you breakfast.
Sweaty.
Well, you know, this girlish figure doesn't come without sacrifice.
You ought to come running with me sometime.
No, thanks.
Medical studies prove women need more body fat than men.
Oh, really? Who sponsored that study? - Hostess Twinkies? - Funny.
How would you like to try running with a broken kneecap? Get vicious when you're angry.
- I'm gonna take a shower.
I'll be back.
- You do that.
Harm? Wide load.
Coming through.
Clear the deck.
- Good morning, lieutenant.
- Good morning, Tiner.
How are you feeling today? My bladder's being crushed, I can hear my skin stretching, and I'm retaining so much water that my butt is shifting with the tide.
Well, at least it's for a good cause, ma'am.
And if I may be candid, well, there are some men who find pregnant women very attractive.
Well, thank you, Tiner.
I appreciate the compliment.
But if you really wanna make me feel better, think foot rub.
You seen the sailor who did this to me? - Ma'am? - Lieutenant Roberts? My husband.
Never mind.
Thank you.
- Good morning, sir.
- Bud? Mr.
Roberts.
Lieutenant.
Bud.
JAG headquarters.
I made a list for the pharmacy.
Could you go get these things for me? Sure.
- Prenatal vitamins.
- For a healthy baby.
- Vitamin E cream.
- For my stretch marks.
- Breast pump.
- In case I have to express breast milk.
- Excuse me? - What? You just grimaced.
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
I am basking in the natural glow of motherhood and you're grossed out.
No, I'm not.
And can we talk about this at home, later? There's nothing to talk about.
I am pregnant with your baby, Bud.
And for your information, there are some men around here that find a woman in my state sexy.
Yeah? Name one.
Hold the elevator, please.
Thanks, major.
Ready to go at it? - Excuse me? - In court today.
More cutbacks in military spending? Don't even think about it.
What? Think about what? Did you tell Lieutenant Sims that she was sexy? - Sir? - It's a simple question, Tiner.
Did you tell the lieutenant that you were sexually attracted to her? No, sir.
- No? - The lieutenant was feeling blue, sir.
- I was trying to make her feel better.
- I don't recall that being your duty.
- Get your own pregnant wife.
- Lieutenant.
Do you have a good reason for badgering Petty Officer Tiner? No, sir.
Then I suggest that you get back to work and get your own petty officer.
Yes, sir.
This is your brain.
This is your brain during fatherhood.
Any questions? - No, sir.
- Good.
"Military justice must evolve with With society if--" - You ever heard of knocking? - I did, sir.
Well, obviously I didn't hear you.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Come on in.
Gotta make a speech to the House National Security Subcommittee this afternoon and-- Can this wait? Well, sir, I've been putting this off for two days already, admiral.
If you wouldn't mind Sir, I'd like the opportunity to change my designator.
I joined the Navy to serve as Naval aviator, which I was forced to abandon because of a medical problem which has since been corrected.
Sir, I've enjoyed my time here at JAG, especially serving under you, admiral, but I I also believe that I could be of service to the Navy and to my country if I return to active flight status.
Nice speech.
How long you been practising? - About a week, sir.
- Wanna address Congress? - No, sir, thank you.
- But you do wanna leave JAG? Sir, it's not so much that I wanna leave JAG as it's I want the opportunity to return to a fighter squadron.
Admiral, I was forced to give up flying.
It was never my decision.
And if I decide to stay here at JAG, I would like it to be my decision.
Well, this sounds stupid.
But you given this a lot of thought, commander? Day and night, sir, for quite some time.
If you go back to a squadron, providing that you can pass the flight physical-- I can pass the physical, sir.
--You'll be going backwards.
Hell, you might be taking orders from guys half your age.
I don't think there are many Not too many 35-year-old JAG lawyers flying these days either, commander.
Well, I'd like the opportunity to be the first, sir.
Well, I think we should discuss this at length.
Admiral, I love the law, but all I have ever really wanted to do was fly.
- So did Icarus.
- Icarus never flew an F-14, sir.
As commanding officer, I sometimes have to make decisions that I consider best for my people.
Occasionally, those decisions are in opposition to the individual.
Sir, are you saying that you are not going to approve my request? You're gonna need a lot more than my approval to make this happen.
It can't happen without your approval, admiral.
I have a speech to give this afternoon, commander.
I will give you my decision in due time.
Dismissed.
Aye, aye, sir.
Thank you, sir.
- You're kidding, right? - Sorry, ma'am.
They say it could take up to 30 minutes for a technician to get here.
We'll just have to spend this time getting to know each other better.
Let's not.
What are you afraid of, major? That you might find yourself liking me? Look, commander, I like you.
I think you're a nice enough guy.
- And you're a pretty good lawyer.
- Stop, you're embarrassing me.
I'm just not interested in a relationship with you or anyone else right now.
And is this a hard-and-fast rule against dating those within your command, or is it more of a guideline? It's a commandment.
I had a boyfriend die in a car accident, my ex-husband is dead, and a lawyer I was involved with was murdered.
Do you see a pattern here? Yeah, I do.
Not a damn Australian in the lot.
Why me? - Honestly? - Yeah.
You kind of remind me of my mother.
Your mother? Let me give you a little advice on that, Mic.
That line might work with women down under, but as a rule, American women don't like being compared to anyone's mother.
I'm pulling your leg, major.
My mom was three times your size and twice as mean.
But, God, she was a special lady.
And I just think you are too.
That's all.
Is there something wrong with the elevator? Yeah, it's stuck between floors, ma'am.
I'd take the stairs if I were you.
If you were me, you'd be at home whining with your feet up.
We'll have to do that again sometime soon.
- Thank you.
- I think I'll pass.
On May 2nd, 1998, Lance Corporal Edward Carr turned 21.
He decided to celebrate his birthday with his fellow Marines at a local watering hole.
Yes, he had a little too much to drink, and, yes, his staff NCO had to drive him home.
Only, she didn't drive him to his place, she took him to her place, presumably to dry out.
Two weeks later, he was reprimanded for his behaviour.
This was to become the first of many unfavourable reports and evaluations filed against my client, which led to a special court-martial for dereliction of duty due to the culpable inefficiency.
The point of this hearing, please.
New information has come to our attention which has a direct bearing on this case, Your Honour.
Specifics, Mr.
Roberts.
If Staff Sergeant Morris would be so kind as to stand? Objection, Your Honour.
The staff sergeant is not on trial here.
We put this case to bed almost a year ago.
Commander Imes has a point, lieutenant.
I believe the evidence speaks for itself, sir.
Humour him.
Your Honour, it is our intention to prove that Staff Sergeant Aileen Morris purposely orchestrated the seduction of Corporal Carr with the intention of getting herself pregnant, then took steps to distance the corporal from herself in order to keep her scheme a secret.
- You're kidding? - No, sir.
Your Honour, this is insulting to the staff sergeant as well as the court.
Can you prove that the child she's carrying is his? A simple DNA test would do so, Your Honour.
The staff sergeant has no intention of submitting herself or her unborn baby to any unnecessary medical procedures, especially this late in her pregnancy.
Do you have any other evidence to substantiate your claim, lieutenant? - Yes, sir.
- Then we will proceed with this hearing tomorrow at 1400.
What other evidence do we have, sir? I'm working on it.
- Surprise.
- Surprise.
- You guys.
- It is a boy, right? Yeah.
What haven't we checked? Fingers crossed This is so adorable.
Look at this.
Where in the world did you find it? Carolyn picked it out.
They didn't have Marine greens.
Oh, it's so cute.
Bud's gonna love it.
You guys didn't have to do this.
Are you kidding? I love shopping for baby clothes.
Of course, I only get to buy it when a friend's having a baby.
You should have seen the outfits they had for girls.
These little capri pants with a leopard-print top - and matching shoes.
- Shoes.
- Oh, cutest.
- You're so lucky, Harriet.
I wish I was having a baby.
Don't you, Mac? Well, I think I should probably have a relationship with someone first.
- Details, details.
- Getting pregnant's the easy part.
It's finding the right guy, that's the hard part.
- Well, not for Harriet.
- Hey.
You know, maybe Bud could get us all pregnant.
Look at the pants.
Hey.
What are you doing out here? You weren't home.
I was gonna leave.
You should have let yourself in and waited inside, you nut.
Hey, what's up? Seems like something's wrong.
You tell me.
Before I left this morning, I saw your request to change your designator.
- I was gonna tell you.
- Tell me what, Harm? You know you can't fly because of your eyes.
I had them fixed.
Laser ablation.
So you can go back to flying? It's a long shot, but if my request is approved, and if I decide that that's what I wanna do, and if I make my qualifications.
A lot of "ifs" there.
You make it sound like you haven't decided.
- I haven't.
- But you submitted your letter.
This morning.
It was the first step in a long process, Jordan.
You know that.
Been dumped for another woman before, but never for an airplane.
I'm not dumping you.
Look, Jordan, frankly, you're one of the reasons that I haven't made up my mind.
But if I do decide to return to a squadron, it doesn't change what we have.
It does for me.
I fell in love with Harmon Rabb, the lawyer, not a fighter pilot I might see twice a year if I'm lucky.
I'm still the same man, Jordan.
- You're not making this easy.
- Why should I? The man I love told me he's thinking about leaving.
- JAG, not you.
- It's the same thing.
Call me when you've made up your mind.
Jordan If you married my dad, then I could have a mom for real.
And then you two could have a baby, and then I'd have parents and a little sister.
You know, your dad's gonna have his hands full with one new woman.
He doesn't need me.
But I do.
I'm only a phone call away.
Be right back.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Oh, hi, Chloe.
- Hey, Harm.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know you had company.
Oh, no, we're just having a slumber party.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm good.
I was in the neighbourhood.
I thought I'd stop by.
Do you guys wanna be left alone? - No.
- Yeah.
That's okay.
I gotta go put on my jammies, anyway.
You two behave yourselves out here.
What's going on? Well, Jordan and I had a fight.
Let me guess, she wants a commitment? How'd you know that? Well, that's what every woman wants, I guess.
So, what, you're not ready to commit? Well, the rules of engagement have changed, Mac.
What do you mean? I had eye surgery.
I got my night vision back.
What? - When did this happen? - Couple weeks ago.
You had a major operation and you didn't tell me? Triple bypass is a major operation, Mac.
Eye surgery is like having your teeth cleaned.
I tell you when I'm going to the dentist.
Well, I wasn't sure how it would work out, frankly.
But it did? Like a dream.
So, what now? Are you thinking about trying to return to a fighter squadron? I spent my life preparing to be a Naval aviator, Mac.
Yeah, except for three years in law school and four years as a JAG.
I I put my request in to Admiral Chegwidden today to return to active flight status.
You can't do that.
Why not? Because if you do, it would mean flying is more important to you than JAG, it's more important to you than Jordan, it's more important to y-- To you than everything.
I thought you, of all people, would know how much flying means to me.
I do.
I do, Harm.
But this is the last thing that I need right now.
You're starting to sound a lot like Jordan, Mac.
- Are you guys almost finished? - Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
Well, we'll talk about it later.
Better get going.
- See you later, Chloe.
- Bye.
Cute toes.
Very colourful.
It's nice.
Catchy.
I think I understand now why you can't marry my dad.
You're in love with Harm.
Good evening, major.
Mic.
- These are for you.
- Wow, they're beautiful.
Thank you.
And this, little lady, is for you.
- Thank you.
- Lieutenant Commander Mic Brumby, this is my little sister, Chloe.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Chloe.
I didn't know you had a sister, Mac.
She's not really my sister.
Mac's kind of like my surrogate mother.
- So who's up for pizza? - I am.
You just had two pounds of chicken wings.
I am at a vital stage of my development and I require lots of protein.
Protein, yes.
Pizza, no.
Maybe some other time, Mic.
- Bad timing, huh? - The worst.
- Say good night, Mic.
- Good night, Mic.
Yep.
Bye.
I think that Australian really likes you.
Lucky me.
Are you sad because Harm might leave JAG? - Were you eavesdropping? - It's a small apartment.
I don't know what I'm feeling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, you should know that Harm's in love with you too.
Harm has a girlfriend.
A woman can sense this kind of thing.
- Oh, really? - Yes, really.
Harm and Mac, sitting in a tree, K-l-S-S-l-N-G How come boys don't get any smarter with age? That's one of nature's greatest mysteries.
- I'm gonna miss you, kiddo.
- I'm gonna miss you too.
Sometimes I come here to remind myself why we do the things we do.
- What seems to be the problem, A.
J.
? - I I need to ask a favour, sir.
Well, I'm not one who grants many favours, admiral.
Nor am I one to ask.
- So, what is it? - It's about Commander Rabb.
Oh, what's he done now? It's not so much what he's done, it's what he may want to do: Change his designator.
If he wants to fly, tell him to hop on a redeye to Vegas.
The Navy is not in the practise of spending millions of dollars retraining pilots who are past their prime.
Sir, he was grounded due to a vision problem that's since been corrected.
Rabb's a damn fine aviator, and he just wants the option to fly again.
Knowing full well it's career suicide? Well, sir, with all due respect, it is his career.
Well, it was until now.
- I know you don't like me, A.
J.
- Mr.
Secretary-- And to be honest, I don't give a damn.
But I also know that coming here and asking me for help must be about the hardest thing in the world for you.
So why are you putting yourself through this? Rabb has given you more trouble than anyone else under your command.
Why are you going to the wall for him? I believe in him, sir.
Well, that makes one of us.
Rabb's been a thorn in my side ever since I first heard his name.
So I can't say as I have any real desire to help him.
On the other hand, it'll be a good opportunity to get him the hell out of Washington.
- I'll think about it.
- I appreciate it, sir.
I owe you one.
Yes, you do.
I'd like to offer into evidence Exhibits G and H, performance-evaluation recommendations from Staff Sergeant Morris to the commanding officer.
- Objection.
Irrelevant.
- I'm not done, sir.
Overruled.
Get to your point, lieutenant.
My client had an exemplary record before he was seduced by the staff sergeant.
- After that-- - Objection.
Facts not in evidence.
We have seen no proof of this alleged seduction.
Oh, really? I suppose that this is a bowling ball underneath her uniform.
Lieutenant, another remark like that and I'll cite you with contempt.
- Sorry, sir.
- Don't apologise to me.
- Apologise to the staff sergeant.
- I apologise.
You're 32 years old and have a history of failed relationships, correct? - Objection.
Hearsay.
- Sustained.
Is it not true that you wanna be a mother and have a family, but you don't wanna have a husband or a boyfriend or, really, any man in your life? Can you blame me, sir? You saw a potential father in Lance Corporal Carr, you seduced him with the intention of getting pregnant, then you gave him a bad evaluation.
Objection, Your Honour.
The lieutenant is editorializing.
Sustained.
Ask a question, lieutenant, or rest.
Why did you keep this pregnancy a secret from Lance Corporal Carr? It was none of his business, sir.
Your Honour, the staff sergeant has been more than patient with Mr.
Roberts.
I would like to request that we put an end to this now.
She's got a point.
Now, I've given you every chance, but you're spinning your wheels.
- I've heard enough.
- One last question, Your Honour.
Make it snappy.
Staff Sergeant Morris, did you seduce my client with the purpose of getting pregnant, then take steps to transfer him the moment that you realised you'd conceived? It's a simple question.
Please answer the question, staff sergeant.
Failure to do so is as good as an admission of guilt.
Objection.
Badgering.
- Witness is being uncooperative, sir.
- I can't answer, sir.
- The witness is hostile, Your Honour.
- I'm not hostile, sir.
I think my water broke.
Nice job, lieutenant.
You badgered her into labour.
We'll recess until further notice.
How are you doing, staff sergeant? - I've been better, sir.
- All right, commander, lieutenant, will you help the staff sergeant into one of the benches, please? - Oh, boy.
- Just breathe through it.
Do you have anybody we can call to take you to the hospital? - No.
- Well, I can take her to the hospital.
I don't think that's a good idea, lance corporal, all things considered.
- I don't think I can do this alone.
- Then let me take you.
It's your call, staff sergeant.
He should be there.
He is the father.
- I am? - Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
We can talk about this later, after you get me to the hospital.
Congratulations, lieutenant.
You just won your right to appeal.
Enter.
Sir.
At ease.
I spoke to the SECNAV concerning your request to change your designator.
- It's in his hands now.
- Thank you, sir.
Don't thank me, commander.
For the record, if you do this, it'll be the stupidest thing you've done since I've been here.
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, admiral.
If you oppose it so strongly, sir, why go to the SECNAV in the first place? I'm afraid I don't have time for this right now.
I'm trying to find your replacement, unless I can convince Commander Brumby to extend the length of his exchange programme.
You're considering replacing me with Brumby, sir? Better sooner than later.
Dismissed.
Aye, aye, sir.
I don't think I could thank you enough for bringing Chloe and me together.
It was my pleasure, chief.
I hope you will continue to play an important role in my daughter's life.
I wouldn't have it any other way, chief.
We're about as close to a family as three strangers could be, ma'am, so you better call me Kyle from here on in.
Okay, Kyle.
Well, I wish we could stay longer, but we've got a plane to catch.
Thanks again, major.
I'll send you a letter as soon as I get to my grandparents'.
- You better.
- I will.
- And a picture of me riding a horse.
- Cool.
Go on, you.
Be good.
I will.
Bye.
Bye.
Hello.
- I'll call him back.
- Right now, they're taking Looking for something specific, major? Yeah, something with enough sugar to put me into a coma.
One of your cases giving you trouble? No, it's not work, sir.
My career is great.
It's my life that sucks.
Would you? Would you like to talk about it? Not really, sir.
- Well, if there's anything I can do-- - There isn't.
I'm sorry.
But you're one of them.
Excuse me? Did I say that out loud, sir? I'm sorry, admiral.
I meant no offence.
It's just that you're a man, and as usual, most of my problems come from men.
- Who might it be this time? - The commander.
Brumby or Rabb? Both of them, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Harriet? It's time, sir.
- You mean it's baby time? - Yes, sir.
Can you get up? Easy.
Okay, here, put your arm around my waist.
There you go.
We have to stop meeting like this, Harriet.
People are gonna talk.
Don't make me laugh, sir.
I'm gonna drop it right here.
- Don't even kid like that, okay? - Who's kidding? Tiner.
Sir? Get Lieutenant Roberts on the double.
Yes, sir.
Sit, sit.
Can I get you anything? You don't have an epidural in your desk, do you, sir? Okay.
Hang in there.
And Lieutenant Roberts will be here soon and he'll get you to the hospital in no time.
Lieutenant, she's in labour.
Yes, Petty Officer Tiner, she is.
But we have everything under control.
No, sir, not her.
I mean, she looks like she's in labour too, but it's Lieutenant Sims.
Harriet? Harriet's in labour? My wife is in labour.
I gotta - Are you gonna be okay here? - We'll be fine.
- Because I gotta-- - Go, go.
- Good luck, Staff Sergeant Morris.
- You too, lieutenant.
Harriet, are you in labour? That's a big 10-4, major.
- Where's Bud? - Harriet? Are you having a contraction? That was No, that can't be right.
Your contractions are too long, sweetie.
- Well, tell that to my uterus.
- How far apart--? Are you having another contraction? This isn't supposed to happen like this.
- So sue me.
- Has your water broken? - Yes, sir, I think so, sir.
- I'm gonna go get the van, sweetie.
- Hey, hey.
- Sorry, it's an emergency.
I'm still working on that.
Come on, come on.
Oh, no.
Harriet! She's having double-peaked contractions.
The elevator's not working.
She's never gonna make it down the stairs.
- I'll call an ambulance.
- Okay.
Okay, who's your doctor? - Dr.
Bradley at Banneker.
555-0110.
- I'll call him.
Tiner, stay with her.
Just breathe, ma'am.
You gotta get me out of here! I'm having a baby! There'll be an ambulance here any minute.
- I think I need to lie down, sir.
- Let's put her in the admiral's office.
- Okay.
- Tiner, see if you can find a blanket - and something for her to lie down on.
- Aye, sir.
What can we do to make you feel better? - Shoot me.
- Right here.
- Yeah, okay.
Hold her.
- Yeah.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- All right.
- Easy.
- Oh, man.
Are you okay? Okay.
Be right back.
What? The doctor said she skipped the first stage of labour and went into the second.
That's why her labour's so hard.
That's our Harriet, always the overachiever.
- What's all the commotion? - Harriet's gone into labour.
Give them hell, lieutenant.
What if she starts to have the baby before the ambulance gets here? - She won't.
- But if she does, you know what to do.
- You've delivered babies before, right? - Baby.
- Baby.
One.
- But the fact is, you've done it.
Mac, it's something I did once.
I don't wanna do it again if I can help it.
I'll do it.
- You've delivered a baby? - Yeah, it's a piece of cake.
Delivered dozens of them back home in Aus.
Sort of comes from living in the outback.
Really? You ever deliver one in a hospital full of terrorists? I'll get out the measuring stick later, boys.
Harm, go get Bud.
- Brumby, you're with me.
- Been waiting to hear that.
All right, Harriet, you're in good hands now.
Commander Brumby's delivered babies before.
That's right, lieutenant.
Now, don't you fret.
Mother Nature usually sees everything goes off without a hitch, and when it doesn't, we're here to give her a hand.
Lift her up.
That's it.
Just relax.
- Okay.
- Breathe.
It's not a breech, is it? - Breech? - God, I hope not.
No worries if it is.
The key is to get a rope around their feet.
- A rope? - I don't want a rope around my feet.
Not yours, lieutenant, the baby's.
But don't worry, I once delivered eight kids in six hours, and one of them had two heads.
That's more common in sheep than humans, right, major? - Out.
- What? Did I say something wrong? Goodbye, Dr.
Dolittle.
- Okay.
- Here, lieutenant.
This will help you breathe easier and take some of the edge off the pain.
My grandmother was a midwife.
My mom had my brothers and sisters at home.
Where's Bud? I need him here.
Commander Harm went to get him, sweetie.
You're in good hands, okay? I know it's difficult, ma'am.
Just try and relax.
I'm just gonna take a quick peek and see how far along you are.
Okay.
- What is it? What's the matter? - It's crowning.
- I can see its head.
- That's a good thing, right? That's a good thing--? Petty Officer? Tiner? - Hey, where's Bud? - I can't find him.
- How's she doing? - Everything's under control.
At least it was.
Tiner? - Hey, you all right? - He fainted.
- No, I didn't.
- Like a schoolgirl.
Tiner, why don't you go outside and get some fresh air? Yes, ma'am.
Yeah, hello.
Yeah, just a second.
- Harriet, it's for you.
- Me? - Hello? - It's me.
Bud, where the hell are you? - I got stuck in the elevator.
- I can't do this without you.
I know, Harriet.
I just wasn't thinking.
- It hurts.
- Well, just keep breathing.
Okay.
Where is the ambulance? I don't know, but it should be here by now.
I need to push.
- No, don't push.
- No, don't push.
- Harriet, listen to me.
- No.
- No.
- Are you there? Harriet? Harriet? Hang on, Harriet, I'm coming! - Is the ambulance here yet? - No.
- Has anyone seen the EMT crew? - No word on that, ma'am.
Colonel, commander, as soon as the ambulance gets here, send them to the admiral's office.
The ambulance just left with Staff Sergeant Morris.
Who is Staff Sergeant Morris? - She was a witness.
- She was in labour.
- They took the wrong pregnant lady.
- Somebody open the door! Is that Bud? - You've got to get me out of here.
- Open it up.
I need to get out of here now.
Hello? What the hell? - Admiral.
- I can explain, sir.
I don't think that's gonna be necessary.
There's an ambulance on the way, sir.
- Better be room for two.
- I can't do this.
Sure you can.
The hard part's over.
Hand me the bag, Rabb.
- No, it hurts too much.
- Yes, sir.
I want you to look at Harm.
Focus on his face.
Breathe with her.
Good.
Okay, on this next contraction, I want you to push as hard as you can, okay? - Push.
- You can do it, Harriet.
Good one.
That's a good one, Harriet.
Yeah, that's great.
- Keep breathing.
- Okay? Hey, his hand's out.
You wanna feel it? - No.
- Okay, okay.
Now, this next contraction's real important, Harriet, okay? We need to get his shoulders all the way out.
I can't do this anymore.
- You can do it, Harriet.
This is it.
- No.
It hurts too much.
Come on.
- Breathe.
- Harriet? Bud! Oh, Bud.
Bud, hand me a towel and give me your shoelaces.
- Sir? - I need to tie off the umbilical cord.
Breathe, breathe.
- Give me a towel.
- Breathe.
Come on.
Come on, lieutenant.
Push.
That's an order! Bud, Bud, Bud.
Put a towel on my shoulder.
Put a towel on my shoulder.
Left shoulder.
Left.
Cover the medals.
Here we go, here we go.
- Okay, okay.
- Harriet's got a kid.
Oh, yeah, buddy, there you go.
Yes.
Take the string out of my mouth.
Now tie it right above my fingers.
Here you go.
Okay, cut the string.
About 6 inches, tie it again.
Okay, now cut.
Cut it right between.
Good.
Now-- Now get another towel.
Get another towel.
Here you go.
Put your knees down, darling.
Here we go.
Congratulations, Bud and Harriet.
Looks like you have a healthy baby boy.
Nice work, lieutenant.
- You did it, Harriet.
- Thank you.
Thank all of you.
We have a son.
I'm a daddy.
Welcome to the club, lieutenant.
- Let's take it in.
- Here we go.
- Careful with them.
That's my son.
- And one, two, three.
Slide it in.
Sir.
Lock it down.
Quite a day, huh, sir? Yep.
Never a dull moment around this place.
You okay? Every time I think I've put the pieces of my life together, somebody comes along and jumbles them back up.
Everybody who's ever meant anything to me is leaving my life.
You'll be okay, Mac.
You'll get to see Chloe again.
One day, you'll have kids of your own.
Yeah.
Not at this rate.
My biological clock is going off and I keep hitting the snooze button.
Tell you what.
Five years from this moment, if neither of us is in a relationship, we'll go halves on a kid.
You and me? Have a baby together? Yeah.
With your looks and my brains, he'll be perfect.
And what if she has your looks and my brains? That could work too.
So, what do you say? Deal? - Don't make a promise you can't keep.
- I haven't yet.

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