JAG s08e11 Episode Script

All Ye Faithful

Good timing, Admiral.
COD's within minutes, sir.
No, no.
Lose the propriety, Harm.
I'm retired for good this time.
Right.
We'll see.
Fleet JAG's cool with the new Atlantic Command Structure? Well, they'll adjust.
How'd you make out? It was quite an impressive presentation.
Thank you, CAG.
Let me walk you out.
I've had my quarrels with Beltway bandits, sir but you bring a level of battle experience that encourages confidence.
Oh, thank you, CAG.
I'll pass your kind words on to the CEO of my company.
I regret never having flown with you.
Well, your regrets should be saved for this man's father, who I flew with and if you want a taste of what that was like you can fly with Commander Rabb yourself.
I'm familiar with the Commander.
It was a pleasure, sir.
That man doesn't like you.
Yeah.
After knowing me for one minute.
Well, that's all the time I needed.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah.
So! Will this be your first Christmas Eve aboard ship? You were right.
The last C-Two of the day.
Looks like we'll be hanging our stockings from our racks.
I have to get back, sir.
Bud and Harriet are hosting Christmas Eve party.
So is my sister, but that doesn't make it possible.
Well, there is a Plan B.
And what is that? A design for a raft? No, it's today's flight schedule and An F-14 is to be returned to Lakehurst, New Jersey.
Hmm.
WOMAN: I so appreciate this opportunity, sir.
Opportunity's ours, Petty Officer.
We appreciate what you did for Bud.
Ma'am, sir, I didn't do anything anyone in this office wouldn't have done.
Which is why the colonel didn't waste any time letting me know that you were up for orders.
You belong here.
Yes, sir.
Staff's been informed.
Introduce yourself around.
I believe everyone is here, except for Minetti and Rabb who were TAD on assignment.
Let's see, Turner has your security ID and your presence is expected the Roberts' house for dinner this evening.
Aye, aye, sir.
When shall I assume my duties, sir? Consider them assumed.
I hate to dump this on you on your first day back from sea duty but we have a little bit of a crisis.
Aye, sir.
At your pleasure, Admiral.
Actually, in this case it would be the Colonel's.
Sir? SECNAV approved a visit by three Saudi attorneys wanting to observe our military justice system.
I was told February.
They heard something else.
They're arriving early? Their plane just landed.
Sir, it's Christmas Eve.
They don't observe the holiday, Colonel.
I'm a drummer, sir, I practice at night.
Yeah, complaints from neighbors.
We thought they were resolved.
Then this morning a crew arrives without warning, starts loading our belongings onto a truck.
So, where's the truck now? At Base Security, sir.
Did you report your eviction to Base Legal Assistance? They closed yesterday for the holiday.
Didn't know where else to turn, sir.
We'll work it out, Corporal.
So, how far along are you? I'm due tomorrow.
MAN: Now, why, sir, would we want to give up Christmas in the States? We have 12 reasons, all of them named Jack.
I'm afraid alcohol ain't gonna cut it, Admiral.
Throw in some Wizards tickets and we having a conversation.
Can't do.
Then enjoy Miracle on 34th Street.
I heard the galley's serving red-and- green popcorn.
Do either of you have friends and family to visit? We're West Coast boys, Commander.
Then how about a simple good deed? Yeah, we take your seats and you take the spirit of Christmas to heart.
It's so tempting, sir.
And I'll introduce you to Jennifer Lopez.
This is something you can do, Commander? I've known her since '96.
I see her twice a year.
We'd hold you to it, sir.
Soon as you get in port I'll set it up.
All right, sir.
Take your request to the CAG.
You see Jennifer Lopez twice a year? Every time I get my teeth cleaned.
She's my dental hygienist.
( laughs ) MECHANICAL VOICE: I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you said.
Please repeat your account number.
Three-one-five-six- three-seven-nine-zero-two.
Your balance is $16.
11.
What are you talking about? Would you like to return to the main menu? There should be over $1,500 in here.
Is that a "yes"? No! Good-bye.
Oh! What's going on? I just thought that they were late crediting our pay but there's got to be something hinky with the direct-deposit system.
That's three weeks now and we don't have food for tonight and we hit the limit on our credit cards yesterday.
But we have Rice Krispies.
Thanks, buddy.
Hey, stop playing with that.
You'll shoot your eye out.
How many people you guys having? Eleven.
I could pitch in like 20 bucks or so.
Thanks, Mikey, but that wouldn't even cover the wine.
How about asking Dad? He could help.
He's worse off than we are.
Look, Harriet, I think you and I we're going to have to go down to the disbursing office and we're going to have to leave now.
Oh, honey, no.
No, no, no.
Don't eat any of that it's five days old.
Uh, Mikey, could you watch little A.
J.
for us? Yeah, of course.
Go.
Falls Church, Virginia.
RABB: And Admiral Boone will be my RIO, sir.
Gaudino and Suttles are already scheduled, Commander.
Well, they've agreed to give up the flight, Captain.
Well, they're not in a position to do so.
The plane's loaded with a thousand extra pounds of upgraded electronics.
She's test-complete on our cats to determine minimum speed.
Is she air-worthy, CAG? Yes, sir, but I prefer she be manned by somebody familiar with her eccentricities.
Well, between us, we've logged more flight time than anyone on this air wing.
And if the commander hadn't dumped a $40-million aircraft into the Atlantic last year I would be satisfied with that answer, sir.
A mishap review board cleared me of pilot error, Captain.
I read the report.
Don't agree.
The aircraft had taken a hard landing, CAG.
And she was in flying condition at the time she left the deck.
Well, you weren't sitting in his seat at the time, CAG.
I was a week earlier, sir.
The plane was my ride.
I was waiting for her at Pax River at the time.
( knocking ) I checked with the car rental company, ma'am.
The Saudis just picked up their vehicle.
They should be here in a half an hour.
Great.
Am I disturbing you, ma'am? No, no.
It-it's fine.
Commander Rabb gave me this gift before he left.
I just opened it.
It was taken in Afghanistan.
That's a great photo, Ma'am.
Yeah.
The thing is, I gave him a picture frame the exact same size.
Excuse me, Colonel.
I've got your ID, Petty Officer.
Thank you.
If you come with me, I can show you how to use it.
I think I got it.
I present it to the guard he lets me in.
Very good.
You enjoy your day.
I will.
Colonel.
Welcome aboard Petty Offieer.
Good to be here, sir.
Lieutenant Colonel Mackenzie this is Corporal Joseph Tenney and his wife, Mary.
Hi.
Hi.
Mrs.
Tenney's a bit uncomfortable.
I was wondering if we could set them up somewhere while I deal with their situation.
Absolutely, sir.
Thank you.
Where might that be, ma'am? My office.
Got a fire in the fireplace and a nice soft chair.
Well, thank you, Admiral.
It's very kind of you, sir.
My pleasure.
Right this way, Coates.
Yes, sir.
Follow me, please.
Thank you, sir.
You sure they won't be an imposition, sir? ( sighs ) No, I'm not.
CAG: The inspector general is on his way to the ship for a surprise visit.
He wants to question my pilots see if they're battle-ready.
That makes you eligible for the Lakehurst run, Commander.
Yes, sir.
I prefer it would be you, Admiral, but you're no longer cleared to fly front seat.
You have nothing to worry about, CAG.
Enjoy your holays.
CAG, about your aircraft No soft-focus moments, Commander.
I will not allow you to undermine a perfectly valid level of resentment.
You get her up and bring her down.
Yes, sir.
And if you do anything other than fly to your established destination I will personally see to it that your wings are yanked.
Understood, sir.
Must be a hiccup at DEFAS.
But neither of us have been paid.
It's freezing in here.
Heat's been off for two days.
So, Roberts Your story's simple.
The more you transfer, the more you increase your chances of getting lost in the system.
I-I didn't plan it that way.
So, this is it for you, huh? What do you mean? Well, I assume you're not returning to duty.
You assume wrong.
I'm waiting for a hearing date from the Physical Evaluation Board.
Why would they take you back when they can fill both your shoes? This is beside the point.
We have no money in our account.
Oh? You have $14.
I thought we had $16.
I'll cover the two if it means that much to you.
Please put that away.
Lieutenant, this is not our glitch.
Then why haven't I been paid? You made out a mortgage allotment? Well, the dispersing clerk handling this could have entered it wrong and stopped the money from leaving your account altogether.
What? The good news is there's probably a tidy sum spinning around in there.
Can we access that? No.
Cleveland's snowbound.
Office didn't even open today.
Look, um We need to shop for food.
We have 11 guests coming tonight.
Sorry.
We came to you for help, Warrant Officer.
I don't understand your attitude.
Then let me clarify it.
If you were enlisted and this were about survival I'd get into it.
But excuse me for not feeling sorry for you because you're worried about looking like bad hosts.
And if you cared so much about your guests, why the hell did you wait till the last minute to pull it together? Shut up! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm not feeling well.
Look, let's just forget about all this, okay? Tell how I can get an emergency advance on our back pay.
You'll have to go to Navy and Marine Corps relief for that.
I assume they're still in the building? Moved to Bethesda.
Well, what do you think, Harriet? Harriet? MAN: Corporal Tenny's C.
O.
ordered him to cease practicing the drums in his quarters.
When he received another complaint he warned him again.
Third time, he initiated the eviction order.
The Corporal apparently misunderstood, sir.
He tells me his neighbors accepted a late afternoon practice schedule.
He must have assumed the C.
O.
was aware of this.
That would be two incorrect assumptions, Commander.
General, Corporal Tenney doesn't strike me as irresponsible or stupid.
I k this was just a mix-up, sir.
Does the Corporal have a family? The birth of his first child is imminent, sir.
All right, I'll take care of it.
I'll put a call into the Hostess House.
They can provide temporary shelter in the meantime.
Excellent.
Thank you, sir.
And, give the Corporal this phone number 555 That another agency, sir? My son's apartment.
Perhaps the Corporal can teach his band how to hold a beat.
You okay? Don't ever mention the words chow fun to me again.
You're still nauseous, huh? Okay, let's sit you down right here, okay, honey? What's the matter with him? Why won't he help us? I hope the ghost of Jacob Marley drops chains on your foot.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, stay calm.
I think you have food poisoning.
We need to go to the hospital.
I can't drive.
And you're going to have to wait till I'm up to it.
Not necessarily.
Is everything okay? Mrs.
Tenney went into labor.
Excuse me, sir.
Is she all right? She's going to be fine, Commander.
I assume someone called ambulance.
MACKENZIE: It's on its way.
Does anyone here know how to do this? The Admiral.
He delivered little A.
J.
In this room.
Well, where is he? Commander.
Meet, uh Jason? Jason.
Jason Tenney.
( baby fussing ) ( laughing ) Shh.
BOONE: Radar standby.
Roll SAS off.
Pitch trim set for catapult.
Pitch trim set.
Wing sweep auto.
Check.
Engine instruments normal.
Check.
List complete.
You know the last time we were in a 14 together, Admiral I was in the backseat.
Damn it, Harm, I'm a civilian.
Just so you know The CAG's aircraft was a bucket of bolts.
Well, we'll stay away from weather in any case.
My breast stroke sucks.
Honey, please slow down.
I'm sorry.
Lead foot.
Actually a composite plastic foot.
( chuckles ) Is this dangerous? You know what? It doesn't really feel that much different.
The sensation's just a bit higher up in my leg.
Careful of this intersection up here.
I see it.
I'll shut up now.
Must feel good to be in control for a change.
How are you feeling? Sick But safe.
Kohler, fax this over to Where is everyone? We have never secured early for the Christmas holiday! Who authorized this?! Marley? Your vitals are fine.
I don't feel fine.
Whatever it is, it doesn't seem critical.
There's a lot going on right now.
It may be a while.
Please, she's been like this for hours.
All right, let me see if I can grab someone to take a quick look.
Thank you.
This whole year's been a disaster.
The year's not over.
Oh, great, maybe it could get worse.
Harriet, hey.
It's Christmas Eve.
Have some faith.
In what? MAN: You can start with me.
Ho, ho, ho.
Cloud deck moving up from the south.
Looks solid.
We'll beat it.
MAN: This is Patuxent Approach Control on guard.
Requesting that all military aircraft in the vicinity of this station contact us immediately.
Patuxent Approach.
This is Navy Jet 4-3-8-6.
Coral Sea to Lakehurst.
Got you on my scope, 4-3-8-6.
We have a Marine C-130 inbound to us.
They're caught in the soup with a navigation system failure.
Looking for someone to render airborne assistance.
Patuxent Approach.
We're on a priority schedule.
Additional aircraft in the area? No other takers.
Currently scrambling aircraft from Dover.
Patuxent Approach.
How far away are your jets? You're a lot closer, 4-3-8-6.
Understood.
I take it you're not concerned about the CAG's warning? You think he meant it? I do.
You're suggesting we defer to the Dover jets? You're in command.
But they're too far away.
I would concur.
So we're on the same page, then? Just make it one worthy of your biography.
What are the vectors, Patuxent Approach? We're your lead bird.
CONTROER Patuxent Approach to 4-3-8-6.
The airplane in distress is 2-5-9-2.
Last known position was holding at the initial approach fix.
Patuxent Control, this is 4-3-8-6 at your service.
to a heading of 2-7-3.
Descend to 3,000 feet.
Out of flight level Screen defrost.
Set and ready.
What makes you think it's food poisoning? I ate leftover Chinese food this morning and I've been throwing up ever since.
You don't have a fever.
Are you experiencing any diarrhea? ( chuckles ) I'm sorry.
I've just never had Santa Claus ask me that question before.
I'm Dr.
Kubota.
I was on my way up to the pediatric ward for a Christmas party.
Shh.
We really appreciate you looking in on us, Doctor.
The answer to that question is no.
Then it isn't food poisoning.
Are you sure? Sorry.
Just checking it twice.
( laughs ) Um, I had a urinary tract infection and I got sick like this.
Your nurse took a sample.
We do that routinely with nauseous patients.
No, I'd rule that out.
Are you saying that you don't know what it is? Oh, I know what it is.
I just don't know whether you're prepared to hear it.
Is it serious? Coates, hospital called.
Their ambulance is disabled.
Skidded on an icy patch.
You're kidding.
What do they expect us to do? Wait until they dispatch another one.
Have you seen the Admiral? No.
Mrs.
Tenney needs some privacy.
Yes, ma'am.
Yeah? Colonel I picked up an E-mail from Commander Rabb.
He wants you to tell Lieutenant Roberts that he's landing in Lakehurst, New Jersey and may be late for dinner.
Why not Pax River? The Commander and Admiral Boone are bringing in a Tomcat, ma'am.
Is this a problem, 'am? It is if we don't have aspirin.
Admiral, the Saudis are on the phone, sir.
They're lost.
Line two, sir.
( baby crying ) A.
J.
Chegwidden.
Well, sir, if you calm down I can help you and get you out of there.
Women? What kind of women? Solicitous? Oh.
Well, sir, they have the right to wear as little clothing as they want.
If you get out a pencil, I can get you out of there and point you in the right direction.
Patuxent Approach, this is 4-3-8-6.
Contact 2.
5 miles, bearing 2-7-1.
That's your contact 4-3-8-6.
Over.
Got it.
Marine 2-5-9-2, this is 4-3-8-6 on guard.
We read you loud and clear.
At 2,000 feet our heading is 1-3-0.
Speed 1-9-0.
We're joining up from your port quarter.
Maintain present course and speed.
Wilco.
Roger.
What does it say? I-I can't hear you.
You have to speak up.
That's it.
Take that exit.
Corporal, ma'am, maybe these will help.
I was going to give them to my brother's twins but I can always pick up two more on my way home.
That's very sweet of you.
( baby crying ) ( bells jingling ) CHEGWIDDEN: What? No! No, no, you're very close.
( crying ) The rge brick building on the right-hand side.
There's a guard gate out there.
No, the right side.
Look for a radio tower on the roof.
There it is.
( speaking Arabic ) Finally.
I see it.
BOONE: Patuxent Approach, this is 4-3-8-6 Do you have them in sight, No joy, Patuxent Approach.
Check your T-C-S display.
We do have IR contact along with our radar lock on.
Permission to descend to 2,200.
Unable to clear you to that altitude without visual contact, 4-3-8-6.
This is 2-5-9-2.
We could turn the porch lights on for our visitors.
Appreciate the hospitality, All exterior lights full bright.
Nothing.
Can you get me within 200 feet? Not without violating FAA regs.
We're on separate flight plans.
Trust me? How many people you plan to piss off today? Ha! Everyone but you.
It's a bit musty but it'll help keep our new mother warm.
Thanks, Tiner.
I'm sure she'll appreciate it.
Good.
Oh, and, uh Found this in my desk.
For the baby.
Thought it'd be good for teething.
It's wrapped so it's sanitary.
Tiner, have you ever been around a newborn before? No.
My sister-in-law wouldn't let me get near hers.
They have a hard time seeing and they're about six months old before teething is even an issue.
Good to know.
Patuxent Approach I'm able to make safe rendezvous.
Will accept full responsibility.
Out.
Come left two degrees, slow to 190 and ease down to 2,200.
Keep her steady, 2-5-9-2.
We're coming in.
Admiral, Commander, please say hello to Mr.
Ghazzawi, Hoshan, Touban.
Nice to meet you Nice to meet you.
Pleasure.
Sorry for your difficulties getting here but I'm glad you made it.
We thank you for your able assistance.
I understand you're here to observe our system.
With great anticipation.
Welcome.
We, we have a full itinerary planned.
We'll start on Thursday.
We're looking frd to it.
We advise our military on legal matters and with everything going on so close to us we believe this visit to be of great importance.
Yes, not only to the interests of our country but to the future of our region in general.
We're not normally a natal unit but we seem to do okay.
The corporal and his wife had a housing problem and then had a baby.
What a blessing has come upon you.
Congratulations.
We appreciate it.
Thank you.
Will you accept gifts for your new child? I don't know.
I We weren't prepared but we'd like to offer something.
We'd be honored.
This is very generous.
Good luck.
I bought this incense at the airport but it smells heavenly.
( chuckles ) Bless you.
I own 16 apartment buildings in the metro area.
Is a view important to you? Please.
Please.
That'd be amazing.
We could not have been welcomed in a better way.
The birth of a child is a great omen A sign that peace on Earth rests with those who rest peacefully.
BOONE: Overtake 40 knots range a mile and a half.
Pulling back on the power.
What the?! Collision! Elevator's been hit.
Do you have control? I repeat: do you have control? Nose is still oscillating.
I'm going to shut down the stab systems.
Wait! She's damping down.
Everything's normal up front.
Okay back here.
Better call them.
I have a bit of a cold, 4-3-8-6.
Didn't know you cared.
Are you damaged, 2-5-9-2? From what? We're under the impression we hit you.
That would be negative, 4-3-8-6.
This is Patuxent Approach.
You're both on my screen.
No collision observed.
Then what the hell was that? Aerology informs us they lost contact with a weather balloon four and a half minutes ago.
I think you found it for them, 4-3-8-6.
( chuckles ) Well, tell them we apologize.
Yeah, and that it's still partly cloudy.
I'm sure they'll appreciate it, 4-3-8-6.
Where are we, Tom? I still don't see them.
We can't descend any further.
Wait a minute.
Now I know how the three wise men felt.
( laughing ) ( door closes ) And why didn't you tell me this before, son? I didn't want to get you involved, Dad and I thought maybe at the last minute we could pull it off in the Nick of time.
The day didn't go exactly as it was planned.
Yeah, well let's do it at a restaurant.
We'll put it on my card and you can pay me back when you get the money.
Do you have enough room on your card, Dad? Let's hope.
Are you sure we can even get reservations at this hour? At Kosherama.
Deli food on Christmas eve? ( doorbell rings ) Roberts.
Warrant Officer Scoggins.
You know I'm divorced, right? Not that I expect it to surprise you.
Please, come in.
Thanks.
My son chose to be with his mother in Buffalo where it's four degrees above zero rather than spend Christmas with me.
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
That's why I was such a jerk today.
So you drove all the way over here to tell us that? I drove here to drop off some dinners and appetizers I ordered from my favorite restaurant.
Are you serious? They're in my back seat.
You still need them? Yes.
If you join us.
I'm glad you asked because, uh I was prepared to insist on that.
( laughing ) You know what, you're okay, Warrant Officer.
Just little lonely, but thanks for the encouragement.
I couldn't remember how many guests, so, um I brought 13? Well, there'll be 12 including you, sir.
Actually that'll be fine.
I'm eating for two.
( chuckling ) CAVANAUGH: I think there's something to this baby business.
What do you mean? Well, this tendency of yours to encourage pregnancy and labor.
What do you mean? Seriously, think of all the women you know who fall into that category Harriet, Lieutenant Singer, this woman today.
You think I should hang out a shingle? I think you're a facilitator.
You have powers in this area.
Like some Greek deity? Oh, come on.
You've conveniently left yourself out.
You're not, are you? ( chuckles ): No.
No.
( sighs ) But it does give one hope.
BOONE: We're at your nine o'clock.
We're cleared to make an instrument approach to runway 24 at Pax River.
Tallyho.
Fly wing on us.
What approach speed suits you? With present cargo, What is your cargo anyway? Toys for tots, 4-3-8-6.
Annual Christmas Caravan.
We're on a delivery run to East Coast bases.
Started in Bangor, on our way to Norfolk.
We'll take the left side of the runway, 2-5-9-2.
Wilco.
( "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" playing ) Dirtying up now.
Gear down.
Three in the green.
( chuckling ) So Bud asks if it was serious.
And Santa The doctor.
Yeah, the doctor was dressed like Santa Claus says "Yes, your wife is seriously pregnant.
" And we were so shocked we didn't know what to say and he says, "Well, is that good news?" And then we just started to cry.
And then he started laughing and he says "Next time, I expect milk and cookies.
" ( laughing ) You guys, dinner will be ready in about a half an hour so just make yourself comfortable.
Uh, say, how's your piano? Uh, it's-it's great.
We just had it tuned last week.
Oh, great.
Anybody up for carols? CHEGWIDDEN: Uh, I could play some.
Oh, don't be silly.
You sing, I'll play.
Uh, I know most of them.
How about this one? ( playing skillfully ) O come all ye faithful Joyful and triumphant O come ye O come ye to Bethlehem Come and behold him Born the king of angels O come let us adore him O come let us adore him O come let us adore him Christ the Lord Sing, choirs of angels ( phone ringing ) RABB ( on answering machine ): Hi, this is Harm.
Leave me a message after the beep.
( beep ) Hey, not home yet, huh? Well, we're all here now Um except for you.
Still haven't had dinner though, so hoping to see you soon.
Assuming everything's okay.
RABB: Regret coming here, Admiral? No.
No, I appreciate your asking me.
I've just never been here on the actual night your dad went down.
( clears throat ) Not that you're counting.
Sir.
This place It's so reverent.
Never been here before.
First time in the capital, actually.
Have a good holiday.
That's not going to happen, Commander, but I'm glad I'm here anyway.
I'm sorry, sir.
Didn't mean to seem disrespectful.
Lieutenant Clarence.
Just graduated from Naval Air Training Command.
Where are your wings, Lieutenant? Had to take emergency leave, sir.
I'll pick them up when I get back.
Everything all right, son? An old college friend is on suicide watch.
But I think he'll be okay.
Well, let me put it this way I don't intend for it to happen any other way.
You have a family member here? No, sir.
Just paying my respects.
This is retired Admiral Thomas Boone.
Lieutenant.
I'm Commander Harmon Rabb.
I'm with the JAG Corps.
Sorry you missed your ceremony, Lieutenant.
What can you do, sir? Well, I I can do a lot more than you think.
You fly, Commander? Well, that's kind of up in the air at the moment.
( chuckles ) Winging is usually performed by an admiral, so Commander, I can't let you do this.
Attention, Lieutenant.
( clicks heels ) Show these to your friend.
He'll be proud of you.
Yes, sir.
What are your goals, son? The dream is to be a Blue Angel, sir.
( bell ringing in distance ) ( all talking at once ) Roberts: Uh Before we eat I want to say a few words.
( laughs ) I had all the words in my head before we sat down.
Take your time.
It's it's been an interesting year.
It's okay, sweetheart.
( softly ): I know what I want to say.
First of all Merry Christmas, Commander.
Sorry I'm late.
( stomps feet ) There he is.
Commander.
CHEDWIGGEN: Come have a seat, Commander.
( whispers ): Wings? Oh, I Well, I'll tell you later.
Carry on.
Yes, sir.
What I wanted to say was God bless us every one.
Hear, hear.
Merry Christmas.
ALL: Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, sir.

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