Jane the Virgin (2014) s05e17 Episode Script

Chapter Ninety-Eight

1 NARRATOR: Friend, we are almost at the end.
And our Jane was approaching the finish line as well.
That's right, she had finished her novel.
You know, the one based on her life.
Oh, and she got herself an agent.
- Yes! - And in more good news Rogelio's pilot This Is Mars got picked up to series.
Unfortunately, River Fields decided - to move the show to New York.
- For my family.
What about my family? NARRATOR: And speaking of giant moves, Rafael started working for Petra, and Petra was determined to expand the Marbella.
I want a Marbella in every major city, on every continent.
NARRATOR: Might as well dream big, right? But not everything was dreamy.
Remember our evil villain Rose? The one who kidnapped Mateo and gave Michael amnesia? Well, Jane was determined to confront her once and for all.
If I can just say my piece to her, I really think I'll be able to move on.
NARRATOR: Only problem (TIRES SCREECHING) - Now run! - DENNIS: Because of your sister, we were able to uncover Rose's escape plan and send in a team to capture her.
You're under arrest.
- Luisa betrayed me? - Police! DENNIS: Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned, and she escaped again.
NARRATOR: Which, I'm afraid, is where we left off.
Friends, after our Jane Gloriana Villanueva heard the news Rose escaped.
NARRATOR: Well, everything changed.
We don't know where she is, but Luisa's on her way to a safe house in Belize.
We feel certain she will try to contact her.
- So my sister is bait? - Oh, she insisted.
She wanted to keep Rose away from you and your family.
NARRATOR: And, well, from that moment on, our Jane was living in a constant state of anxiety, so her family stepped in to help her cope.
BOTH: Our Father, who art in Heaven NARRATOR: But despite their best efforts, our Jane remained traumatized.
(EXHALES) (SCREAMS) Always on edge.
Afraid of what was lurking around the corners, in the shadows.
Yeah, it was the air conditioner.
I checked, no one is outside.
Are you okay? No.
I hate living like this.
I know.
Maybe it's time for you to get professional help.
NARRATOR: But after talking and talking I just can't talk anymore.
I know, logically, Rose isn't coming, but I can't shake this feeling that there's something horrible just around the corner.
- Which is no way to live.
- Exactly.
And I need to figure out how to manage my anxiety.
I think maybe you should try tapping.
NARRATOR: I don't think tap dancing is going to solve this problem.
One of the branches of therapy I offer is EFT.
It's a self-soothing tool, based in acupuncture.
NARRATOR: Well, that makes much more sense.
Every time you feel anxious, just tap along these meridians.
NARRATOR: Which brings us here.
- Is it working? - A little.
Maybe? I have to remember the tapping pattern, so that at least takes my mind off of Rose.
How was your day? Ugh, stressful.
Petra keeps calling, e-mailing and texting me every two seconds.
She even had me paged at the gym.
I can hardly use the bathroom without her (RINGTONE PLAYING) Relax, it's my phone.
Maybe you should start tapping.
Ooh, it's my agent.
(CHUCKLES) You love saying that.
I really do.
I should talk to my agent.
Hey, Lily.
Okay, Jane, listen, I have news.
Okay.
Good news or bad news? NARRATOR: In case you forgot, Jane is not a fan of unexpected news.
Oh, sorry.
Sometimes I forget how anxious you writers are.
NARRATOR: Especially a writer whose villain just broke out of prison.
It's good news.
Publishers are loving your book.
- Oh, my God, really? - Really.
A couple editors want to meet you, so I'm setting some lunches.
Lunches? Okay, sounds good.
Sure does.
I think you're gonna get a good offer, Jane.
Wow.
That's great.
Thank you.
Yes, talk to you soon.
Bye.
People like my book, and she thinks I'm gonna get an offer.
- A good one, she said.
- What does that mean? I don't know! I mean, I would be happy with 25,000, you know? Thrilled with 50.
100 would be too crazy.
I'd never get that, but can you imagine if I got $50,000? Oh, and guess what else.
They want to take me to lunches.
Multiple, fancy, free lunches! Ooh! (CASH REGISTER DINGS) So, I have some good news.
NARRATOR: Oh, looks like Jane already called her mom.
What's going on? I got into a nursing program in New York, so we can move there, if we decide to.
NARRATOR: Oh, different news.
- That's great.
- NARRATOR: Is it? I'm mixed on this whole Ro-and-Xo-move-to-New-York thing.
I'm just so mixed on this whole move-to-New-York thing.
I know, but at least one roadblock is removed.
Hmm.
(PHONE CHIMES) - XO: Aw.
- RO: Mm.
(LAUGHS) So, should we talk to Jane about it yet? No.
She has enough on her mind with all the Rose trauma.
I-I don't want to get into it until we know if Darci and Esteban are even willing to move with Baby.
Then we'll know if we're actually going.
Okay.
Maybe we should try, uh, Jane's tapping technique.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Oh, good.
You're here.
How was the open house? Well, there were two clients that wouldn't leave even though they That was a courtesy question.
I don't care.
Look, Clarissa and her financial group love this property for our first franchise.
The building needs to be razed, but what about that view?! We should go see it ASAP.
When can you travel? Oh.
Petra, I I can't, you know, with Rose out there, and Oh.
Yeah.
No, I get it.
I'll go.
Y-You can make the time up later.
Obviously, there are so many international hurdles we'll have to deal with since it's a British overseas property, but we'll chip away at them.
Hopefully, we can close the deal in 12 months.
Yeah.
That sounds great.
You seem overwhelmed.
I am a little.
Well I get it.
You're working two jobs.
I know we had our worries about working together, but things have been going really well between us.
So why don't we fully commit to this partnership? Hmm? Quit your real estate agent thing.
Let's go all in.
JANE: What did you say? I said, "That makes sense.
" The thing is, I'm torn about quitting.
Why? There'll be a lot of stress and travel and risk involved with no guaranteed payoff.
I mean, I could spend years negotiating the new franchise, and then nothing could come of it.
Well, you can't live in fear of what's coming around the corner.
Huh.
Well, it looks like somebody's learned a thing or two in therapy.
This is your dream.
Go for it.
Be brave.
Hey, that's my line.
Well, it's works, and it's true.
Look who's getting a free lunch tomorrow.
I am so proud of you.
(LAUGHS) You're gonna kill it.
NARRATOR: Ah, friends, look at Jane, ready to kill it, and by "it," I mean that free lunch.
Hey, Lily, uh, I just got to the restaurant.
Oh, wait.
I meant to ask you.
Should I order a glass of wine at lunch, or is that inappropriate? LILY: Jane, the editor's not coming.
What? Why? We have a problem.
Uh, what is it? (LAUGHS) Michael Cordero never signed away his life rights.
Without his permission, the book can't be published.
NARRATOR: Yup.
There's always something unexpected around the corner.
(SIGHS) - Michael? - NARRATOR: Yeah.
- None of us were expecting that.
- Yup.
And if he won't sign over his life rights, there's no book.
Well, you have to call him and convince him.
Yeah.
I will.
So, I guess I'll just call him right now.
I have the number to the ranch.
Rick? It's the ranch foreman.
Um, uh, yeah, hi.
I-I'm looking for Michael or Jason.
Michael-Jason.
Oh.
Really? Okay.
Thank you.
So, I guess Michael took off a few days ago.
Rick suggested I try calling his mom.
NARRATOR: Can't the guy just get a freaking cell phone? So I'll just call her now.
Voice mail.
Hi, Patricia.
It's Jane.
Uh, can you please give me a call back when you have a chance? Thank you.
Hope all is well.
Okay.
So, hopefully, she'll call back, - and then we'll just - PETRA: Rafael! Sounds like she needs you.
I have to get ready for my shift anyway.
Krishna! Pull up the preliminary inspection reports on the Turks and Caicos property to show Rafael.
- What were you looking at? - Nothing.
I'll remind you of the Marbella's "no porn, no TMZ, no Goop" Internet policy.
NARRATOR: Whew! I would not last there.
Is that? - J.
R.
's mother? - I'm sorry.
I promise I wasn't stalking your ex-girlfriend.
That would be creepy.
I just love obits.
NARRATOR: 'Cause that's not creepy.
Oh.
I guess J.
R.
will be in town.
You okay? Yeah.
fine.
Krishna, let's see those reports.
- What's this? - ROGELIO: All the reasons why moving to New York would be incredible for you and Baby.
God, you're a slow reader.
Let me just tell you.
Did you know that New York has the most single people per capita in the entire country? NARRATOR: Ooh.
I should move there.
And that single women outnumber single men almost two to one? NARRATOR: Never mind.
Those lonely souls need you and your matchmaking skills.
Also, New York has the best pizza in the world! Plus, everyone is rude there, and you love being rude.
And have I mentioned Alexandria Ocasio? Rogelio, stop.
You do remember I'm from New York, right? I would actually love to move back there.
Really? You would? But Esteban.
He loves Miami.
The bozo even thinks Miami pizza's the best in the world.
NARRATOR: Yeah, Esteban.
Gonna have to disagree with you.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) (GASPS) PATRICIA (OVER PHONE): Hi, Jane.
Hi, Patricia.
Thank you for calling back.
Uh, I didn't mean to bother you, but I'm trying to track down Michael.
Do you know where he is? I do, actually.
MICHAEL (OVER PHONE): Hi, Jane.
Oh, uh, Michael, hi.
I I didn't know you were in Florida.
Yeah.
I am.
Uh, anyway, I-I'm sorry to bug you, but I wanted to talk to you about my novel.
You probably didn't get it, but my agent sent over paperwork for you to sign.
Oh, I got it.
I just didn't sign it.
Um I wanted to talk to you in person.
Which is actually why I'm in town.
Uh So, what do you think? You have to meet him.
- It's your book.
- I know, but He's making the effort to drive all the way down here to see me.
I-I'm worried it's not just about the book.
Well, I obviously don't think it's about the book, either.
I think he wants to try to win you back.
But I'm not worried about that.
Good.
Because I love you so much.
I love you, too.
(CHUCKLES) Now go get those life rights.
Thank you for understanding.
ROGELIO: You're welcome.
Someone just got you a recurring role on This Is Mars.
You are back, baby! Biggest acting opportunity of your life! No, thanks.
What? Why? I've decided to quit acting.
I've gotten really into aromatherapy and Reiki.
I'm committed to being a spiritual and physical healer of bodies and souls.
NARRATOR: Oh, so that's why he's dressed like my yoga teacher.
I have a higher calling now.
I truly want to help people.
But why help a few scrawny unwashed vegans when you can reach millions of normal people by entertaining them? I get great satisfaction out of my one-on-one interactions with my clients.
Esteban, please, I will have to give up on my dream if you won't move to New York, because I cannot leave Baby.
I wasn't a part of Jane's childhood, and I won't make that mistake again.
Wow.
What a tremendous gesture of love.
Baby is truly blessed to have a beautiful person for a father.
It was a beautiful plan, but it backfired.
I don't know what to do about Esteban now.
He's become a completely different person.
Then you have to remind him of who he was, of what inspired him to become a telenovela actor in the first place.
Just think, what would remind you of why you love acting? (GASPS) Me.
NARRATOR: And speaking of telenovelas Hi, Jane.
It's so nice to see you.
And Bo.
Nice to see you, too.
Uh So, you wanted to talk about the book in person? Yeah.
Um, we're not totally okay with it.
You and Bo? No, uh, me and my fiancée.
NARRATOR: If he's trying to win Jane back, this is a weird way to do it.
You're marrying Charlie? But she hates you.
Yeah, well, not anymore.
NARRATOR: Guess it's a shotgun wedding.
(GUN FIRES, CLICKS) Wow.
Congratulations.
I am so happy for you guys.
Thanks.
Now, let's talk about this book.
(THUDS) I read it.
I don't like it.
Uh, okay.
Why? Why? 'Cause Michael's all over the damn thing.
We live a quiet life.
We like our privacy.
And frankly, this little book of yours seems like it's gonna be a big headache for us.
So I don't want Michael signing that paperwork.
Please? Th-This book means so much to me, and I've worked so hard on it uh, for years.
Sorry about that.
You're a writer.
Write another one.
(EXHALES) Michael, please? This is a family decision, Jane, and I support whatever Charlie wants.
Well, this damn baby's sitting on my bladder again.
So, I better hit the commode, as y'all like to say down here.
NARRATOR: Uh, no one says that.
Please? Okay, is there anything I can do? Does she want more prize chickens? No.
I asked.
Look, I-I feel real bad, but, you know, Charlie is my fiancée and the mother of my child, and if she's uncomfortable with all this, there's nothing I can do.
ROGELIO: I know you said no, but I have something to show you that might change your mind about acting.
Rogelio, I have a sound bath in ten minutes.
I'll be quick.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING OVER COMPUTER) (CLEARS THROAT) They're all me.
(AUDIENCE OOHING) (CHEERING) (STEADY BEEPING) I am an incredible actor.
Yes! I agree.
And you can't throw all this talent away.
I can, actually.
Why? Because I've played every part.
And I stuck the landing in all of them, not just in Vault for Your Love.
So, why keep acting? What else is there? Great fame in America.
I am about to go to a premiere party where my face will be on every poster, every wall, every tablecloth.
Reporters will be taking my picture, and people will be fainting when they see me.
And it's going to be the best feeling in the world! Funny.
I-I can't even imagine what that feels like.
(GASPS) Which must mean I've moved on.
JANE: Okay, well, here's another idea.
You go through the book, and any details you're not comfortable with, I'll take out.
Well, I'm pretty sure Charlie's uncomfortable with all the details that have anything to do with me.
Michael (SCOFFS) y-you're not being fair.
- I'm not being fair? - No, you're not.
Well, I don't exactly want to be in this position, 'cause I don't want to say no.
Then don't.
You know this book means everything to me.
And Charlie means everything to me.
Look, when you left, I was broken.
And Charlie put me back together again.
I know this sucks, but, you know, I have to choose her and her feelings.
She's my partner.
For life.
CHARLIE: Oh, baby.
(SIGHS) All right.
We'll sign the damn papers.
Really? What? Yes, really.
It's fine.
- (GASPS) - MICHAEL: Well, wait.
Hold on, now.
We-we flew all the way from Montana so you could tell Jane all the things you hated about the book, and now you're fine with it? Michael, let's take that yes.
I didn't come down here just for the book.
I wanted to see if y'all still had anything between you.
I mean, the way you went on about how y'all were destined to be together and how, when you saw him, your heart would glow.
Didn't exactly go down like pickle juice.
NARRATOR: Very little does.
I get it.
That was a long time ago.
(SIGHS SOFTLY) And I do think it was destiny.
Now you're not helping.
But I do.
Everything that's happened, all the moments that led to this You two finding each other It couldn't have happened any other way.
I really believe that to be true.
(CLEARS THROAT) I asked you once if you still loved her.
You said, "Yes.
Forever.
" 'Cause of what we had once.
And 'cause she stuck with me and helped me find myself again.
Which led me to you.
Hmm.
(CHUCKLES) (JANE SNIFFLING) Geez, she does cry a lot.
See? I told you.
(CHUCKLES) (SNIFFLES) So, we're good? No issues with privacy or anything? Nah.
No one I know would ever read that book anyway.
Huh.
Okay, then.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, but could you just leave out this one part right there? NARRATOR: And, friends, she did.
So I will, too.
No problem.
It's gone.
Uh Oh.
There's one thing you got wrong in the book.
Um, Rose isn't 38.
- She's 51.
- What? No.
She's a plastic surgery expert, remember? Wow.
Okay.
I will make that change.
Goodbye, Jane.
Goodbye, Michael.
NARRATOR: And this time, friends, it really was goodbye.
RAFAEL: Don't go.
A funeral is the absolute wrong place to try to win back an ex.
I wouldn't be trying to win J.
R.
back.
I'd just be going to pay my respects.
If you really want to be respectful, then let her mourn her mother in peace.
Yeah, yeah.
You're right.
So, have you quit your real estate job? Not yet.
What? Why? Well, honestly, because this project is gonna be a lot.
And I'd need to be all in.
And I've already missed dinners with the kids for the past few weeks, and I don't want that.
I totally get that.
And I think I have a solution.
Move back in to the Marbella.
Your old penthouse is vacant right now.
Look, you, Jane, Mateo, me and the twins.
You'd have your whole family under one very large roof.
Plus, you'd have zero commute and never miss a bedtime.
Every night, I get to put the girls to bed and then come right back down here and keep working.
NARRATOR: Lucky you.
You're practically living here already.
Just think about it.
Hey, I know you're busy, but give me a call back when you're done.
I have really great news.
ROSE: Do tell, Jane.
What's the great news? (EXHALES SHARPLY) I got to say, Jane, I'm a little disappointed.
I was really hoping for Rafael since he's the one who got me thrown in jail.
But it's fine.
You'll do.
Aw.
You poor little thing.
Always in the wrong place at the wrong time, aren't you? I heard you came to visit me in prison.
Was there something you wanted to say? 'Cause I'm all ears.
(BREATHING SHAKILY) "After everything you've done to me.
"Kidnapping my baby.
"Shooting my husband.
"I think you're the worst person in the whole wide world!" (LAUGHS) (MEOWS) Aw.
What's wrong? Cat got your tongue? Or villain got your cat? (MEOWS) What do you w-want from me? Wh-What do I w-want from you? (MEOWS) (SIGHS) I'm glad you asked.
I need Luisa to meet me at your father's premiere party.
And you're going to help me get her there.
(BREATHING SHAKILY) How? How? How could I do that? Very good question, Jane.
I was thinking you call her up, and you say something like, "Ditch the security guards in Belize, "hop on Pan Atlantic 7859 to Miami, "and meet us at the party, "or Rose will kill someone you love.
"And if you tell anyone Rose is holding me hostage, Rose will kill someone else you love.
" Yeah, that should work.
Have you got it, or do you want to practice? P-Please.
Please, you don't have to do this.
(SHOUTING) Pick up the phone and call! (PHONE BEEPS) - LUISA: Hi.
It's Luisa.
- It's her voice mail.
Sorry I missed you.
Leave me a message, - and I'll get back to you when I can.
- Leave a message.
(PHONE BEEPS) Hi, Luisa.
It's Jane.
Rose is holding me hostage, and she said that if you don't get on flight Pan Atlantic 7859.
Pan Atlantic 7859 to Miami and meet her at my father's premiere party, sh she'll kill someone you love.
And? And if you tell anyone about this, she'll kill another person that you love.
Please, call us back.
(PHONE BEEPS) Aw.
Let's hope she does.
It would sure be a shame for someone to have to die over an unreturned phone call.
God, Mateo's gotten so big.
I haven't seen him since Oh, well, you remember, of course.
(CRYING): Please, please.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) (STAMMERING): It's an unknown number.
It could be her.
Put it on speaker.
(PHONE BEEPS) Hello? LILY: Jane, it's Lily.
Oh.
Hi.
I just got off the phone with Little Brown.
They love your book.
They're offering you 25,000.
Oh, wow.
Wow, that's great.
Everything okay? Yeah, just processing.
Well, process quickly, because they need an answer.
So, what do you want to do? Do you want to accept the offer, or do you want to roll the dice and hold out for a better one? Here's the kicker: if you wait, Little Brown could pull their offer, and there's no guarantee that another publisher is gonna step up and We're willing to take that risk.
This is Jane Villanueva's attorney.
Call us back when there's a real offer.
(PHONE BEEPS) We have to keep the line open.
Honestly, Jane, I just skimmed your book, but I found it very compelling.
I'm flattered that you made me such a big character.
Do you really think I'm an icy beauty? That was a compliment, Jane.
You could crack a smile.
(MANUSCRIPT THUDS) (ROSE WHISTLING A TUNE) Have some water.
You look parched.
(BREATHING SHAKILY) (RINGTONE PLAYING) It's Rafael.
He was supposed to meet me here before the party.
Tell him to meet you there.
And, Jane, if you alert him in any way or give him any kind of secret code, I will kill Mateo.
Hey, Raf.
RAFAEL: Guess where I am.
My old penthouse.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES) What for? Petra offered to let us move back in.
And standing here, I'm just I'm having the most intense feeling.
About where we started, where we are now.
Uh, wow, yeah.
Well, it's definitely something we should talk about, but can we do it later? Are you okay? You sound a little off.
Y-Yeah, it's all good.
I'm just busy trying to get ready for the party.
(CHUCKLES) Uh, let's meet there, okay? What? Why? I'm wrapping up here.
I'll be home in 30 minutes.
No, don't come home! Why? What's going on? I'm just planning something for you for the wedding, and you can't see it.
Oh.
Sorry.
But now I kind of want to know what it is.
Yeah.
Bye.
Love you.
Ah! Okay.
Okay, I'll see you at the party.
See you at the party.
Well done, you pretty little liar.
Why are you doing this? Luisa doesn't want to be with you anymore.
That's because you all have poisoned her against me.
No, it's it's because she doesn't love you anymore.
She does love me.
She doesn't.
And I know it's hard and painful, but people fall out of love.
Michael and I did.
- This is different.
- How? Because this isn't your love story, Jane.
It's mine.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) It's her.
(PHONE BEEPS) Hi, beautiful.
I take it you got my message? LUISA: I'll do whatever you want, Rose.
Just don't hurt anybody.
I'm on my way to the airport right now.
Fantastic.
(PHONE BEEPS) Yay! We're going to a party.
Should we get dressed? NARRATOR: Wow, they really know how to commit to a theme and run with it.
There he is, there he is! (REPORTERS CLAMORING) Esteban, wow! Over here, Esteban! Look over here! Over here! Yes, Esteban! Take one photo.
Esteban.
Fantastic.
Esteban.
Over here, Esteban! NARRATOR: Esteban sure is working those Estebuns.
(LAUGHS, SIGHS) That's weird.
I still haven't heard from Jane.
She should be here by now.
- REPORTER: Come on, get out of the way! - Damn it! Those aliens are in his shot.
Move! Move! NARRATOR: Alas, friends, those aren't just any aliens.
(WHIMPERS SOFTLY) Looking good, guys.
ROSE: Grab a tray.
NARRATOR: I know Jane's had some stressful days as a waitress, but this definitely takes the cake.
ROSE: Don't worry.
Once Luisa meets us, you can enjoy the festivities.
Wait! (NARRATOR GASPS) Does Alba know it's Jane? May I have a drink? Let's go.
Where's Jane? NARRATOR: She's right over there! Somebody help her! I don't know.
Thought she'd be here by now.
Maybe maybe she's running late.
She said she was planning some big surprise for me.
NARRATOR: Look right, Rafael! Hey, so what'd you decide about the funeral? I sent flowers and a note to J.
R.
You were right.
I didn't want to go for the right reasons.
I'm sorry.
But you know you'll fall in love again.
It's only a matter of time.
Maybe.
Or maybe I'm just not meant to couple up.
Maybe it's not my destiny.
I have a great life without a partner.
And honestly, the Marbella satisfies me in a way I don't think a lover ever could.
I am so glad we got divorced.
NARRATOR: And I'm so glad this conversation is over, because Jane is in danger! Come on, Rafael.
If anyone is going to realize it's Jane inside that costume, it's her true love.
So did you think about moving in to the Marbella? Um I did, actually.
ROSE: What are you doing? It's hard for me to move fast with this tray of drinks.
WOMAN: Help! Save me! Somebody save me! On Mars, no one can hear you scream.
NARRATOR: Ooh, smart! A secret signal.
He can't hear you, but he can see you.
ROSE: What are you doing? Why are you slowing down? Sorry, this costume's heavy.
(GROANS) NARRATOR: Oh, no.
Where is she taking her? Think of something, Jane! Wow.
You move fast for a 51-year-old.
What did you say? No, I'm just impressed.
That's all.
I am not 51.
That's ridiculous.
That better not be in your book.
NARRATOR: Did he see her? He's so far away, and it's so dark up here.
I can't tell.
Esteban Santiago, you were a red carpet dynamo! - Wasn't it amazing? - It really was.
For the first time in my life, I felt like the star I was born to be.
- So you'll come to New York? - No.
What do you mean, "No"? Tonight was great, which clearly you had something to do with.
(MUFFLED SNORT) But it wouldn't feel like this in New York.
This kind of treatment is reserved for the stars of the show.
I'd just be a measly recurring character.
It's not like I'd be the lead or the villain.
You want to be the villain? You can be the villain.
You're already the villain in my life, so it's perfect.
No.
Forget it.
It was a bad idea.
America will hate me.
But they will love to hate you, like I do.
And all telenovelas need villains.
You'll have an incredible arc with huge twists and turns all leading up to our epic confrontation with both our lives hanging in the balance.
Huh.
If Luisa doesn't show up, you're gonna have plenty of room on your side of the wedding aisle.
You know, I think I'll take - your daddy out first.
- Shut the hell up, Rose.
Just shut the hell up! You know what? I'm not scared of you anymore.
I'm just freaking sick of you.
NARRATOR: Jane, stop! You're going to get yourself killed.
I tell my son every night that monsters aren't real.
But they are.
I'm looking at one.
But you'll never win.
So, wait.
We are gonna do the speech now? Because you know what else I tell him? Good always triumphs over evil.
You're right, sweetheart.
I am evil, and I'm about to (BOTH GRUNTING) NARRATOR: Yes.
Classic telenovela move: distract the villain to buy more time.
Run! Go! One more step, and Jane is dead.
You know, now that Rafael is here, I don't really need two hostages.
So you're disposable.
Oh, Jane, cheer up.
You'll probably sell more books this way.
LUISA: Let them go! I won't go anywhere with you if you touch them.
ROSE: No problem.
I knew you'd come.
I told you.
Ours is the greatest love story ever told.
It might be.
But it ends now.
What? (PANTING) Wh-What is that? Cyanide.
My family will never be safe until I'm gone.
No, Luisa! Don't.
(BOTH GRUNTING) (GASPS LOUDLY) (SIGHS) No! (SIGHS) Goodbye, Rose.
Was that a Tic Tac? Wintergreen.
(SCREAMING) You're in for the most spectacular show you've ever seen! (CROWD GASPS) (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) NARRATOR: OMG.
I hope that killed her.
Oh! Fire! (YELLS) Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! NARRATOR: Well, that definitely did.
NARRATOR: You'll record our heroine finally vanquished our villain.
How are you feeling, Janie? Relieved.
And guilty for feeling that way.
No way.
Remember how we all cheered when Catalina Creel died? (SIGHING): Yeah.
I am.
(RINGTONE PLAYS) My agent.
Hey, Lily.
Uh, look, about yesterday No, no.
I heard your lawyer loud and clear.
Didn't quite need her attitude.
Yeah, sorry about that.
I fired her.
NARRATOR: Literally.
The point is, I turned down the 25 K.
I thought about it, and the only way to get what you want is to put the book up for auction.
I've asked for first offers by 3:00 p.
m.
today.
Oh, wow.
Uh, but isn't that, uh? Risky? Yes.
So I want to prepare you.
We could get a lot of bids, or we could get none at all.
But you said you want to roll the dice, so be by your phone at 3:00 p.
m.
Keep your fingers crossed.
Everything okay? I just hope Rose didn't ruin my one chance at selling my book.
You would have taken the 25,000? No, I wouldn't have.
But it'd be easier to blame Rose if it doesn't sell.
So have-have you made your decision? Yes, he has.
I will take the part of the incredibly handsome villain, and Darci, Baby and I will move to New York.
Yes.
(LAUGHING): Yes! Oh, my God! You won't regret this.
I promise you won't.
Thank you.
(SCREAMING) (LAUGHING) - You did it, Smush! - Yeah! I knew you could get a giant part on his show! I know! How great an actor am I? I mean, the Reiki? A higher calling than acting? (LAUGHS) Put on your spacesuit, Mush.
We're going to Mars! Oh! Ah! Mmm! It's from India.
I hope you like it.
Thank you for saving our lives.
Oh (SCOFFS) It was it was no big deal.
I I couldn't let anything happen to you before your big day.
We'd really like you to be there, actually.
What? Come to our wedding.
Please? I would love that.
Thank you.
(SNIFFLES) Oh, my God.
Have you thought about the honeymoon? Because one benefit of hiding out with an international crime lord You had to know a lot of secluded spots.
Oh, I don't think we'll honeymoon.
Raf is so busy with work at the Marbella.
Well, actually, I quit last night.
What? I thought the Marbella was your dream.
It was, but like I told Petra, my dream has changed.
I want time with my family.
So, I'm gonna keep my real estate job, and we'll save, buy a little house down the line.
(LAUGHS) Yeah? And you're okay with that? A a little house? A smaller life? Doesn't feel smaller at all.
(CRYING): Oh, my God, Raf, you've grown up so much.
(LAUGHS) Aw.
I (LAUGHS) I can't wait for your wedding, you guys.
NARRATOR: Me, neither, but before we get to the wedding, we have front-row seats at an auction.
Ah, what if nobody bids? Uh, what if my book doesn't sell? Just take a deep breath.
It's gonna be okay.
(PHONE CHIMES) First offer came in.
10,000.
Okay.
Uh, we got one.
(SIGHS) Hey.
10,000 it's nothing to sneeze at.
NARRATOR: She turned down 25.
(PHONE CHIMES) 20,000.
Okay, we're in the game.
(PHONE CHIMES) 30! Oh, uh, thank you, faceless publisher, whoever you are.
Now I don't feel like such an idiot for not taking that 25.
Fist bump on that.
Yup.
(PHONE CHIMES) (PHONE CHIMES) 50.
OMG, Rafael.
50! (RINGTONE PLAYING) - Uh, it's Lily.
Yeah.
- Okay.
Hey, uh, everything okay? Yep.
I just wanted to tell you this one live.
- We're at 100,000, Jane.
Got to go.
- Thank you.
100.
(LAUGHS) One hundred thousand dollars! (SQUEALING EXCITEDLY) (PHONE CHIMES) - Oh.
- Oh.
(PHONE CHIMING) (RAPID CHIMING, RINGTONE PLAYING) - Oh.
I got it, got it, got it, got it.
- Okay.
LILY: Jane? Uh, yes.
Hi.
Yes.
The auction's over.
We got your final offer.
Uh, how much is it? 500.
Five hundred thousand.
You did it, Jane.
You did this.
(LAUGHS) NARRATOR: And sometimes, friends, the unexpected can be magical.
So much for a small life.
Screw that.
We're rich! (SCREAMS, GIGGLES) Ah! - Can you believe it?! - That's our girl! (LAUGHING) (CRYING) Xiomara, this is good news.
I know.
It's just we're not gonna be here when the first check comes or when the book is published.
It's finally hitting me.
We're leaving Miami and moving away from our family.
How do we say goodbye?