Joan of Arcadia s01e04 Episode Script

The Boat

The very words 'homework assignments' suggest a fascist hierarchy They assign us a task, no discussion, no explanation.
What is that? Dude, she wants to pass.
Do you think it's funny to call me dude? Adam calls everyone dude.
Well, stop.
It's totally pre-millennial.
Uh, wait.
What's the new dude? Try saying yo at the end of a sentence.
We're stinking rich, yo.
You're gonna turn it in, aren't you? A willing pawn of the power elites.
More like, you ever have the feeling you're being watched? She's right.
We are under surveillance Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me, captain.
Hi.
Uh, is that your wallet? I was just heading in there to report it missing.
/ Oh, good.
- Nice to find someone so honest.
- Okay.
A reward is in order.
- Oh, no, I support the troops.
- I insist.
Oh, that's way too much.
That's exactly the right amount for what I'm about to ask you to do.
- God joined the army? - Navy.
It's thematic.
I want you to build a boat.
What's with all the make-work projects? I mean, apply for a job, do better in school, play chess.
All these annoying, bogus assignments instead of doing something big like, you know, saving the world.
Last time I asked someone to build a boat, it turned out to be something really big, like, you know, saving the world.
Look, I have a really hard AP Chem test coming up.
I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why couldn't you ask me to get a boyfriend? Oh, "Build a boat," he says.
Okay.
Um, how big? Exxon valdez? Should I plan for a lot of rain? I don't know how to build a boat! Unbelievable.
Joan of Arcadia ³×ÀÌÆ® Ŭ· Veronica Mars ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ ½ÌÅ©ÆíÁý: ÃÖÀÚ¾Þ ¿µÀÚ¸·¼öÁ¤: ¹Ú¼öÁø Á ¸¸Å×³Ä ¸Þ¸® ½ºÆ¾¹ö°Õ ¾Ú¹ö ÅÆºí¸° Á¦À̽¼ ¸®ÅÍ ¸ ÀÌŬ À£Ä¡ ¾ÈÀºÁ¤ What do you think? I used to call it basketball.
Now I call it blackmail.
You want me to buy you a new transmission.
I want you to get some exercise.
This isn't blackmail.
It's an accommodation between two reasonable men.
Hey, Bear! / Hey, Chief.
Hey, time out, you guys.
Barry works in the property room.
Great guy.
Yeah.
We're bound to hit it off, because, hey, we're both crippled.
Hey, don't be this way.
Give it a chance.
- Hey, Bear.
My son Kevin.
- Okay, he's got next.
- People call me the Bear.
- People call me Kevin.
Kevin lost the use of his legs in a car acc.
.
Only thing I gotta know about you right off, you want to play down low or up top? Does it make a difference? We're all the same height.
It's not about height, kid.
Not anymore.
Hey, Bear! We playing, or what? I gotta get back to work, slugger.
Mom will pick you up.
Have a good time out there.
Show them how the Girardi men do it.
- See you, Chief.
- See you, Bear.
- Bear! - Go ahead, man.
Finish the run.
Hey, Kev! You're up.
Top of the key.
Let's go.
Hey, Kevin! What can I help you with? My daughter has to build a boat for a school assignment, right? Yeah, it's definitely an assignment for school.
But this is actually all the money I have to spend.
Where'd you get that? Uh, did you see Mr.
Navy today? You mean the recruiter? Yeah.
I found his wallet.
He gave me a reward.
Sweetheart, uh, maybe we should forget the boat.
Build you a cute little huckleberry raft instead? No, no, no.
I have to build a boat.
Not a stupid raft.
A boat.
Let me see what I can dig up.
What, was I rude? You could've used that money to buy anything.
/ Uh-huh.
And you're spending it to get extra credit in school? It's the new me.
What? Lately, you have found these, um, let's call them enthusiasms.
Chess, chemistry, boat-building.
I'm an adolescent searching for my purpose in life.
I can't help but think of my second cousin Florine.
The one who talks to flowers? Oy.
Mom, I'm not crazy.
Victim's name is Sergeant Rudy Milner.
Killed behind a bar? Middle of the afternoon? He a drinking man? More than most.
Less than some.
Broad daylight, but nobody saw anything or heard anything.
Second cop in a week to get shot in the face and then posed like this.
I should speak to his widow.
Chief, this is just like with Patrolman Wilson.
Either it's the same killer, or a copy-cat.
It can't just be a coincidence.
Let's not make any assumptions on this one, okay? Clean, objective police work.
Eddie.
Get out of my way.
Eddie.
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie- Eddie, you're gonna need to calm down for a second, all right? Calm down.
All right? I'm personally taking primary on this one.
First priority.
Chief, I want in on this.
That's up to Detective Daghlian.
Look, we were partners 3 years strong.
Dead in a back alley.
Rolled like an old drunk.
That's no end for a cop.
"Side panel into the stem rabbet.
Drill 3-inch pilot holes in a zigzag pattern.
" Was it the same person who killed Patrolman Wilson? That's what they're saying on the news.
Mrs.
Milner, we don't want to work on that assumption.
It could sway the investigation in a particular direction.
And right now, it's best to keep an open mind.
I just bought Rudy a digital camera.
A good one he really wanted.
He never even got a chance to use it.
Things were going so well.
Your husband was one of us, Mrs.
Milner.
We'll catch whoever did this.
Thank you for your kindness.
Thanks to all of you.
Blue folder? Something interesting from forensics? Ballistics on the bullet that killed Milner.
That's about all they could tell.
Both bullets are pretty destroyed.
What's your next move? I'd like you to authorize me to put together a task force.
Task forces are for serial killers.
I think these murders are connected.
So do my guys.
Gentlemen, Detective Daghlian here has informed me that the consensus of opinion is that the murders of Patrolman Wilson and Sergeant Milner are connected.
Sure looks like it, Chief.
He's asked for a task force.
- I'm not ready to go there.
- Why not? A task force carries a certain mentality.
Its entire bias is: we're looking for one murderer.
That's a big assumption.
And big assumptions create big blind spots.
Yeah, but there is a pattern.
- The way the bodies were arranged.
- And the weapon.
All forensics got off the bullets was caliber.
I'm sorry, Sergeant Crowley, I didn't catch that.
I said, "Exactly how many dead cops does it take to make a pattern?" With all due respect.
Does anyone doubt that I want to catch Sergeant Milner's murderer? I'll be the first one to go after a cop-hater.
The first.
We've lost two of our own.
I share your anger.
But Wilson was a traffic stop, and Milner was an ambush outside a cop bar.
Maybe there's an ex-con with a grudge out there.
Or maybe the two of them owed a bad man money.
But no one in this room has brought me that.
With all due respect.
You measured all of these wrong.
Don't you know the carpenters' motto: "Measure twice, cut once"? See how I'm ignoring you? Take a hint! - Did Kevin call? - No.
I thought I was supposed to pick him up at the gym, but he wasn't there.
Luke, that's your dad.
Go see if he has Kevin with him.
Mom, I'm going to need more wood.
Save your money.
She's ruined, like, 8 trees.
- So, this is going to be a boat? - Yeah.
Are you thinking about cousin Florine again? A little bit.
¢Ü "Beautiful Day" by Mellowdrone ¢Ü Oh, yeah.
Ha! You don't know where he is.
I don't know where he is.
Luke and Joan don't know where he is.
He's not answering his cell phone.
Bear probably took him for a burger.
Well, could you please call "the Bear" and ask him to bring our son back? - Hmm.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Had your mom worried, big guy.
I should've called.
Sorry.
How did you get home? I rolled myself along in this snappy chair.
Gee, officer, I stayed in the wheelchair lane.
Well, it didn't give you much time to play basketball.
Our deal was that I'd go.
You never actually said I had to play.
You still owe me a transmission.
Kevin / Don't walk off when we're having a discussion.
Walking? Do you see anyone walking here? It's not like her to skip your barbecue chicken.
Joan is totally focused on that boat.
I have never seen her so industrious and happy.
That's great.
- Not great.
- Cousin Florine is industrious and happy.
Joan is not your second cousin Florine.
This family is off-balance.
Off-balance, or unbalanced? Don't be funny.
Kevin is mad at you, Joan's turning into second cousin Florine, we have no friends in town, you arrested the Fire Chief, somebody's killing cops, and you can't tell me your job's getting any easier.
The rank and file don't know me yet.
They don't know if they can trust me.
It's normal.
Takes time.
It was supposed to get better when we moved here.
You said it would get better.
When exactly is the better going to start? We haven't found our places yet, that's all.
You know what I need? I need to see something good.
Some sign that says the Girardis will be okay.
All right, give me a hand, spaghetti arms.
Well, that- that won't fit.
The proportions are all wrong.
No, I'm in the zone, dog boy.
I can't do wrong.
Dog boy? But that- that shouldn't have happened.
Ohh! ¢Ü"Things Behind the Sun" by Nick Drake¢Ü Yeah? Hey, slugger.
I'm sorry if I made you worry, okay? It must be hard at your age dealing with parents who worry about you making it home for dinner.
Yeah.
Used to be midnight before you started wondering where I was.
Sport, I'll let you in on something.
Your mom and I always wondered where you were.
We just had more sense than to let you know.
Hey, I remember this.
M.
V.
P.
Babe Ruth League.
- You hit.
385 that season - I'm sick of those names.
What names? Slugger, big guy, sport.
They don't apply anymore.
Look, I'm sorry for jumping the gun on the basketball.
I- I thought it would keep your muscles toned.
For what? The gimp olympics? Look, you're an athlete.
You always have been, in or out of that chair.
That's something that doesn't have to change.
The Bear skis Aspen every Christmas.
Well, big ups to the Bear.
What, are you trying to make me mad? You think that because we're both in wheelchairs, we're instant homies.
You know what? I don't even see the Bear as handicapped.
Then why is it that the first thing you wanted to tell him about me is how I got paralyzed? I'm trying, son.
I'm trying with everything I've got.
Can you say the same thing? All righty.
Our next caller is Joan from Arcadia.
Hello, Joan.
Uh, Joan? Who, me? Whoa! Turn down that radio, Joan.
Uh, thank you, Joan, and thanks for joining us on chat lines.
What's your question? You'll answer questions? If I can.
Well, recently- just today, in fact, I found out that I had this incredible talent I never knew I had before.
Well, go on.
Don't get me wrong.
I love it.
It's just.
.
it's the wrong talent.
Uh, what would be the right talent? Um, say.
.
making things better between people I love.
What's your question? Can I trade? Sometimes one talent is all talents.
Everything that rises must converge.
You're doing great work, Joan.
Important work! Be thankful for what you can do.
Don't just trade it away.
And don't let anyone talk you out of it, no matter how reasonable they sound.
So no tradesies? Thanks for calling, Joan.
Moving on to Corrina, who has love problems.
Daghlian, I want you and all your guys down here in the parking lot.
Joan, I'm not really sure you entirely grasp what's going on here.
Yes, I'm building a boat.
What are you doing? It's lunch time.
Price knows you're skipping.
He wants to see you.
What are you, his lap dog? You do whatever he says? Look, I'm going to get into M.
I.
T.
Price is in charge of our permanent records.
Do the math.
You're freaking everyone out here, Joan.
Hope this pile of junk is worth it.
I'm pretty sure it is.
This isn't a joke on me.
This is a stain on the memories of two slain cops.
Are you suggesting one of my guys did this? Detective, perhaps you didn't pick up the subtle indicators of how angry I am.
But, do you honestly expect me to believe this was done by some arch-criminal? That the green goblin figured out which car was mine and snuck in here, leaving threatening graffiti? One of you did this.
Maybe to bug my ass, maybe to prove a point, maybe for less laudable reasons.
Quit screwing around! Be cops! Sir, strictly speaking by the book, I know you're right about the task force, but there's another issue.
I understand that a task force would make the troops happy, but what kind of chief would I be if I put my own popularity ahead of an investigation? That's one way to look at it.
Two grieving women, mourning the loss of their husbands, looking at me to do the right thing.
Tell me another way to view the situation.
There's a thousand live guys looking to you.
A thousand live guys with wives, all watching to see if you give a damn.
It'a a larger view, Chief, That's all I'm saying.
Chief.
/ Listen, Detective.
I've been thinking about what you said.
We just collared a guy who says he knows something about the cop killer.
Name and charge? Lenny Sams, receiving stolen property.
I'm not saying nothing until I get a promise of immunity, and I want it in writing.
.
from the D.
A.
Mr.
Sams, do you know who I am? Tell him.
He's the Chief of Police.
Chief of Police, Mr.
Sams.
Do you like the police? I'd say we got a mutual hate on.
Well, I'm the cop you hate the most.
So, no fooling around, waiting for the D.
A.
Or for your lawyer, you hear me? What about immunity on this so-called stolen goods thing? Archie.
I don't know his last name.
He hangs out at a shot and beer joint on Lindale called the crosstown tavern.
What makes you think he's a cop killer? Hey, I hear him in the can.
In the stall, praying for forgiveness for killing a cop.
Loud.
Let's go talk to Archie.
- I can explain.
- Explain what? I haven't asked you to explain anything.
- I missed a few classes.
- Ohh.
Quite a number of classes.
It wasn't like I was smoking cigarettes at the mall and playing in the arcade.
Not that I know anybody who does that stuff.
No.
I'm sure you're doing something much more important.
/ I am.
More important than algebra, french, history, and, oh, yes, AP Chem that you begged to get into.
I'm building a boat.
Excuse me? - A boat.
I'm building one.
- Why? It's kind of hard to explain.
I'd like to congratulate you.
I've heard, maybe, 5.
.
probably but that is an original.
"I'm building a boat.
" What kind of boat? I'm not exactly sure, exactly.
Oh, but you are certain it is a boat? Oh, positive.
That's funny.
Because your skill tests don't indicate any aptitude at all for building or design.
Mr.
Price, I'm brilliant at this.
I started out making a bunch of mistakes, but it turned out they weren't mistakes.
I mean, they were mistakes if you follow the plans, but I threw the plans away, and all the mistakes fit together into something better, and I-I don't even know what a joggle is.
- What is a joggle? - I don't know! But it's on my boat.
Mr.
Price, I know somewhere in that file, it says that I don't finish what I start, and I don't focus very well, and I'm flighty, but I'm telling you, I have put hours into this boat.
And I never get bored.
I barely sleep.
I think I've found my calling.
Here's my guarantee to you.
You may be building a something that looks like a boat, but it won't float.
How do I know this? Because you are not a boat builder.
You are a high school student, and a truant one, at that.
Do I make myself clear? Good.
Spent a lot of time in jail, Archie.
That's before.
Before you found Jesus? That's correct.
"For I shall redeem you with mighty acts of judgment.
" You get out of jail, about 10 months ago.
A free man for the first time in 9 years.
Beer, ball games that freedom tastes pretty sweet, don't it, Archie? But a cop stops you for speeding.
Maybe you got something in the car you shouldn't have.
Say, a 9 millimeter? So, it's either take out the cop, or back to jessup.
A religious man like yourself must know that he's going to face judgment on such an act.
one way or the other.
That's between me and the lord.
Can you explain this? Uh, yeah.
I ran out of lighter fluid.
If I'd had more, there wouldn't be anything left of it at all.
This is very hurtful.
Tell me about it.
It's filled with pictures of somebody who doesn't exist anymore.
The son dad really wanted.
Ohh! Honey.
.
you know if he could, your father would change places with you.
Hmm.
Well, at least that's something that hasn't changed.
- What? - I was living his dream.
Big high school jock, college scholarship, headed for the pros.
Everything dad always wanted for himself.
Then I went for a ride in a car, and screwed it up for both of us.
You're blaming him for having memories.
Good memories of the feelings you used to share.
That's what he misses.
That's what you threw in the fire.
I understand a lot of what happened.
Patrolman Wilson pulls you over, and somehow, you have a gun.
You didn't want the gun.
A man doesn't always reach for a gun.
Sometimes, the devil puts a gun in his hand.
/ Amen.
- Devil pulls the trigger.
- Yes.
But what I don't understand is, did the devil pose the body in a crucifixion? / No.
You did that? - Sir, isn't that blasphemy? - No! I placed his mortal remains in the form of our lord, so it would speed his way to heaven.
"And god said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness".
How could this be blasphemy? And this one? I wouldn't cross his legs that way.
I didn't do that one.
Archie, print something for me on there.
Print "You're next.
" Go ahead.
Print "You're next.
" He killed Wilson, but not Milner.
Guy leaves out an apostrophe, and you're going to give him a free pass? Get his confession, and keep looking for Milner's killer.
¢Ü "Gently Go the Hours" Jane? Go away, Adam! How'd you know it was me, yo? You're the only one who calls me Jane.
Aw, man! That's awesome! It's gone.
Okay.
What's gone? I did all this.
No plans.
Nothing.
I just cut pieces of wood, and they fit together.
Now You lost your mojo.
Yeah, maybe Mr.
Price is right.
Probably wouldn't have floated anyway.
- Wait.
Jane, you talked to Price? - Yeah.
- Mr.
Price at school? - Try and keep up, Adam.
- And you told him about your boat? - Yeah, so? First day of high school, I have to talk to Price.
And Price goes, "Okay, Mr.
Rove, tell me about yourself.
" I mean, I don't know any better, so, you know, I try to impress him with my best talent.
- Which is? - I can play any instrument.
- You can? - No, no.
Not anymore.
Mr.
Price sits me down at a piano and says, "Okay, Mozart, play.
" So, I do, and I really lean into it, you know? I'm holding down that loud pedal, and I'm hitting the low notes with my elbow- bong, bong, bong! Grand finale I lift the piano lid thing, and I strum the strings with my shoe.
When I was finished, Mr.
Price says, "You got to be kidding.
" Since then, I-I can't play a thing.
I can't even whistle.
I'm no expert, but, uh, if you are playing with your elbows Price and I don't know, somewhere, he's got this, like, coffin full of miraculous things kids used to be able to do before he stole it from them.
Like your beautiful boat.
Hello! Wife! Family? You know what we need? A dog.
A dog who loves his master.
Aw.
Hey, it said on the news that you caught the guy.
Mmm.
We made progress.
What's that burnt smell? Don't change the subject.
All my senior officers think we have the killer in custody.
I hope they're right.
But you think they're wrong? Pretty much.
Then, they're wrong.
I'm glad you're so certain.
Well, they hired you because the police department here- - Uh, what's the technical term for it? - Sucks? That's it.
And you don't suck.
That's bound to make them hate you a little.
Today I seriously considered giving them what they want.
Just so they'd like me.
And if there hadn't been a lucky breakthrough I might have.
Never would've happened.
You'd have agonized over it, and worried about it, and in the end, you'd have done the right thing.
Again, with the certainty.
Oh, I am more sure about you doing the right thing than anything else in my life.
You are a very good wife.
What? Hey! I'm not a good wife? Helen, if I was killed on the job.
.
Will! Hypothetically.
I get killed in the line of duty.
What's your first question? I would want to know if it was awful for you.
If you were frightened when it happened.
If you felt any pain.
I love you, too.
And if, say, I suddenly bought you something real expensive, that you always wanted.
I'd ask, "Who's the girl"? - I have to go out again.
- Why? Because Milner's wife asked me the wrong question and bought him a new camera.
Well, when you come home, you have another little problem to deal with.
How'd that happen? You know how it happened.
Keep it in perspective.
First, go catch the murderer, then argue with your son.
I have a different perspective.
Why would you do this? Maybe we should talk about it when you're not so angry.
Look at me.
Do you see anger here? This was mine, not yours.
It was yours? Who is this? Who's this? I mean, is that you? Is that you accepting that medal? Is that you holding that trophy? Who's this crossing the finish line? Is it you? No, it's me, dad.
These are pictures of my son.
That's the part of you that belongs to me, and no one else.
This is my eldest son.
Well, I'm not that kid anymore.
I'm not even who that kid would've grown up to become.
What are you talking about? You're exactly what that boy has become.
No! I'm this! I'm not who I wanted or expected, and I'm definitely not who you wanted.
I'm at a loss.
I'm completely at a loss of how to talk to you.
That's why I took you to play basketball.
I want to see you charged up over something again that isn't models.
Models are for children! You can't just hide up in your room and play with toys.
You have to grow up! Take an interest in something we can talk about.
Well, this is what I'm interested in right now.
So for a while, I guess we're not gonna have anything to talk about.
Hey, um, does your boat look anything like this? Nope.
Doesn't look like any of these.
But it is a boat, right? It's not, like, a chifforobe? What's a chifforobe? I don't know, but it's not a boat, yo.
Look, Adam, I really appreciate you trying to help, but I gotta close up.
Why is this so important to you? I mean, there's a million other things you could do.
It's complicated.
Well, that's stupid, Jane.
You know, I understand a lot of things that other people don't get.
- You do? - Unchallenged.
The reason that I do some of the things I do it's kind of a a secret.
Hello? I could use some help here! Did you hear someone come in? - Hello.
- I'm in the large print section.
I'm sorry, I didn't know that there was a customer back here.
You need better lighting.
Ma'am, this isn't the large print section.
This is sports.
Large print is over here.
Oh, thank you.
You're a very sweet child.
You were about to tell Adam.
Did you give me a boat-making mojo and then take it away? You know what I am gonna say.
What, that you never gave it to me in the first place so you never took it away? Excellent learning curve.
Now, what did I tell you on the radio? Not to let anyone talk me out of pursuing my project.
You mean Price? Was what Adam said true? - Is Price, like, evil? - Are you afraid of him? Well, every kid in school is afraid of Price.
The thing about fear is it doesn't leave room for anything else, like beauty or purpose.
Your large print section is pitiful.
So.
.
did you just pop up to stop me from telling Adam about you? I don't pop.
I abide.
I'm eternal.
There's no popping.
So.
.
I can tell him.
Oh, that's totally up to you.
Free will.
Just remember that it's a burden asking people to believe you.
Adam will believe me.
Yes.
.
but you don't know Adam that well yet.
For example, you don't know how many burdens the boy is already carrying.
And I'd like you to consider the possibility that it is you who should take on some of his burdens, not vice versa.
Adam has burdens? Sometimes they look a lot like gifts.
What about my boat? You'll know when to let go.
So, you were about to tell me something? Something that's, uh, kind of a secret? I gotta lock up now, Adam, so I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Yeap.
¢Ü"All Who Are Weary" That is a very personal question, Chief Girardi.
You're a cop's wife.
You know there's no such thing as a personal question in a murder investigation.
Yes, we had problems.
Big problems? Yes.
³× There was an affair? More than one on Rudy's side.
And one on my side.
I'm going to need a name.
Believe me, you're looking in the wrong place.
- This man would never.
.
- Did he love you? Yes.
Did your husband know? Who broke it off? I did.
Mikey.
.
Janet, the Chief's right.
We need to know who it was.
Eddie, I'm gonna need your gun.
Why, you lose yours? Janet Milner, that's why.
Rudy Milner.
You put horns on your partner, and then you killed him.
So, either you give me your gun, or I'll find it and I'll feed it to you myself.
Just point, Eddie.
Hello? What are you doing? What made Joan think this could float? - Yeah, that's just.
.
- Not right.
- Well, this will all have to come out.
- She used nails.
Should be counter-sunk screws.
Yeah, brass, probably.
Well, what do the plans say? ¢Ü "World Inside the World"
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