Joanna Lumley's Postcards From My Travels s01e01 Episode Script
Egyptian Nile
I was virtually born in a suitcase and my earliest memories are of life on the move.
My travels have taken me to far-flung places.
And I've had the privilege to visit famous sites infinitely familiar from picture postcards Wow.
.
.
and see them in a way hidden from most tourists.
That's extraordinary! In this series, I'm going to share with you new insights into some of my most extraordinary experiences -- It's not like The Archers.
.
.
my postcards to you.
Wherever I go in the world, I take a notebook and I keep a journal.
It's not a diary, because I don't do it every day, but in them I write down things that have really struck me -- things that maybe we haven't been able to show on camera.
Sometimes I do drawings, sometimes I glue in bits and pieces, just to keep my memories fresh.
And so, in these episodes I want to show you my highlights in postcard form.
In this journey, I'm gonna follow Egypt's ancient highway -- the Nile -- starting at the fan-shaped delta in the Mediterranean, following the winding Nile right down through Egypt to the hot, hot city of Aswan.
This is an old map, but you can just see it marked there.
Aswan.
And then, from there, down and down into Sudan and the desert.
Our first stop is Cairo.
It's a busy, bustling, crowded city home to 18 million people.
It's the largest in Africa and has been for 800 years.
So this is Khalili market.
- It's a market and a local tourist market -- everyone come here.
- Yeah? My guide, Ramy, took us right to the heart of the action.
This is a part of the old wall of Cairo.
It's Ramadan.
During this time of religious fasting, it's forbidden to eat or drink during the day.
However, the Prophet Muhammad did allow one relaxation of the rules which has become known as "entertaining the fast", using a miswak.
Here we go.
That's a miswak.
~ It looks just like a piece of wood to me.
When you taste it, it's not like wood.
- Basically There's one for you, I've got one for me.
- Yeah? - Oh, no, no, no.
No, I insist.
- OK, Joanna.
So basically, you go Can you feel the taste of them? Not yet, no.
What have I got to do, bite it? No.
- No.
As soon as you keep going - Keep going? The juice will come out or something? - This is entertaining the fast.
- Yes.
Don't you find this entertaining? - It is.
It is.
- I think it's very entertaining.
I know it's gonna burst into action in a second.
Maybe I made the mistake of swapping.
That's They have a better price of miswak as well.
A better price? You got me the cheapest one? - I didn't know he had a better one.
- OK, we want the best price, please.
Good.
Thank you.
Shukraan.
Thank you for that.
This looks altogether much more promising.
That is better? - That's lovely.
- Good.
So I might finish this, what, in two weeks, or a night, or when? I think with you, Joanna, it might take a couple of years.
Ramy, he was fantastic.
Anybody who went to Egypt to film got in touch with Ramy.
He was the very best.
He knew everything about Ancient Egypt.
But then he got married to a gorgeous girl, got two tiny babies, went and lived in Los Angeles.
And now he's a huge star out there.
He's made documentaries, and music videos, and advertising campaigns.
He's won an Emmy.
I haven't won an Emmy.
Back in Cairo, and Ramy had this great idea to see the pyramids riding on a camel.
So we went to meet his friend Mahmoud and Charlie Brown.
Good to meet you.
Thank you.
- This is Charlie.
- Yeah.
Hello, Charlie.
- How old is Charlie? - Seven years.
Mahmoud, he looks absolutely beautiful.
I give him a shower today.
I take care of them so much because I love them.
Well, I think I'm falling in love with you, Charlie Brown.
Hello, darling.
Hello, sweetheart.
Hello, Charlie.
That was a lovely munching kind of kiss.
Come, sweetheart.
So soft.
It's like leading a cloud behind me.
Because it was Ramadan, and I had my chewing stick, I was respecting the fast and wasn't going to eat until sunset.
Well, the camels are eating cos that's sensible, but I'm not having breakfast.
But actually, I practically never have breakfast anyway.
And, um, I quite often don't have lunch.
So can you see how my fast is gonna be a total fraud? I keep pretending I'm a theatre person, I have done loads of plays, but often theatre people eat after the show.
So quite often, the first meal I get is at 10:30 or 11:00 in any case.
So Know what I mean? Easy-peasy.
Famous last words.
It's OK, Charlie, it's me.
That's you saying "good morning.
" Thank you.
These are the Ramadan equivalent of Christmas lights in Oxford Street.
Before we could get to the pyramids, we had to get across this crazy road.
I tried to pretend I had nerves of steel.
Of course it was terrifying.
Thanks, guys.
I think you probably stop for a camel.
Made it.
And then, unbelievably, the urban sprawl gives way to this.
The thing that strikes me is that here we are, we're just on sand, but where did all this stone come from to build these massive structures which have lasted for so long? Well, Joanna, the stones actually came from two sides.
- The core of the pyramid would come from the local quarry here.
- Yeah? But then it was covered with fine limestone.
And that fine limestone had to come from further back.
And the only way it could come was through the Nile.
But the Nile's miles away from here.
- That's now, that's in modern days.
- Yeah? At the time, the Nile was literally just beyond those pyramids.
- Just beyond the pyramids? - Yeah.
How extraordinary! It's about three o'clock and we're leaving the pyramids cos they're all shutting down because it's Ramadan and they close early today.
And it's been a day of quite extraordinary splendour.
The excitement of actually travelling here, riding here on a camel, was just thrilling.
And to be out in these great, extraordinary sands with these pyramids behind us -- one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
I expect you can name the others.
Unfortunately, because I'm so hungry, I can't.
I'm so sorry.
In Ramadan, the first thing you eat to break the fast in the evening every day is dates.
And I just adore dates.
I love them.
I'd never seen them farmed.
And of course, they're farmed on both sides of the Nile, all the way down.
They shinned up the tree, they hacked, vast clumps of dates crashed down.
- Wow! - Wow! Wow! And they were quite different from these dates, which I've got here, because they were kind of they were green.
They weren't dimply or wrinkled at all.
Slightly crunchy and very sweet.
Almost juicy.
Really beautiful.
And these obviously, well, I adore.
I keep dates close to me wherever I am.
Um These aren't the dates I brought back, cos that was in 2009.
And I'm not THAT mean, you know? But I do like a date.
A I do like a date, thank you.
We made our way onwards to Aswan by boat.
Here we met Captain Abdul Aziz.
He's been working on the Nile for 56 years, since he was a boy helping his father.
And he was a pretty interesting character.
Is this the way that the stones came down for the pyramids, on a boat like this? Do you have any stories about the Nile? Haunted? Scary.
~ What do the demons look like? Do you have a mobile phone? So will you call me when you see a demon? ~ I'll come and sort that demon out for you.
~ He never rang me.
The demons must have gone.
The next part of the journey takes me into Sudan.
And there I've got postcards from a warrior queen, and a beauty queen, and you get to see me in my incense bath.
And it's not what you're imagining, actually.
Travelling down, and we'd left Egypt, we'd come out of Aswan, we'd crossed the great Lake Nasser and were making our way -- our hot, hot way -- down to Khartoum, we stayed in the desert.
It's pretty odd to be writing a journal and put at the top of it "Nubian Desert.
" I never thought I'd write that in my life.
The sun's beginning to go.
Everywhere I am in the world, if I can, I try to watch the sun going down.
"Dear diary, give everything away .
.
and camp.
" I didn't write that, cos it's not true.
I like camping actually, and I had a neat little tent, and I was one of only two women, all the rest were men, most of whom were obviously desert people who were helping us drive and so on.
(Trying to go out to the loo in the middle of the night.
) The desert -- there's nowhere to hide.
There are no trees or rocks.
That was the longest night of my life.
Absolute murder.
But anyway, we then went to Karima.
Karima! Karima was extraordinary.
Once the heart of the great kingdom called Nubia.
Just outside the town, there's evidence of a chapter of history that's largely untold -- the story of the Black Pharaohs.
Unbelievably, there are more than twice as many pyramids here in Sudan than in Egypt.
And there are no crowds.
No-one there to take tickets.
We were the only visitors.
I think a tourist to Sudan could be forgiven for missing out on the next great treat.
It's like Sudan's hidden secrets.
It's this extraordinarily important couple of tombs that still remain -- all the rest have disappeared.
They used to be under pyramids, now they're just tombs.
But they've got fabulous things inside, I think.
I can't wait to see them.
This is the cemetery of El-Kurru.
Here, the Black Pharaohs were buried over 2,500 years ago.
~ Despite the vandalism, the most impressive tomb is that of Queen Qalhata, mother of the last Nubian pharaoh.
- Huge staircase - Be careful.
- .
.
with a great big step.
So this ceiling is very beautiful and blue.
And here, Mushab, - is this where the body would have been put down, on here? - Yes.
It should be in this point exactly.
Can we go onto it? Can we step on it now? And this is the picture of her body lying as it would be, wrapped in her funeral clothes.
- You see here the bed, the shape of the lion.
- Yes.
And all the tools of the war under, - because our queens, they were warrior queens.
- Right.
- So these are weapons.
- Yes.
Yes.
Daggers, spears, arrows.
How fantastic! But here, on this side .
.
now this is wonderful.
I'm going to get down and look at this because she's turned around.
She seems to have come back to life.
Yes, after smelling ankh.
After smelling the ankh.
So that's the key of life there, with the criss-cross and that loop there.
He's giving it to her to smell.
Here's the god.
Only one thousand people a year come here.
That's not very many, is it? I hope it stays like this.
I'd hate it to get any grander.
I was blown away by that burial chamber.
Far more intimate than the tour you're taken on in Egypt's majestic Valley of the Kings -- this little tomb of a warrior queen.
Filming everywhere in Khartoum was a slow struggle.
Our permits were questioned.
The Mahdi's palace, where General Gordon was beheaded on the steps, denied us access, even though previously it was OK'd.
Hanan.
Hanan.
She was the one who went off wood-smoking ceremony.
My dukhan.
I was so terrified of that, I thought my bottom would be burnt.
How are you? How nice to see you, Hanan.
Thank you for this.
- Well, it's my pleasure.
- Oh, thank you, Hanan.
This may look like a timber yard, but all these products are sold to Sudanese women to make them look beautiful and smell good for their men.
We're not talking pedicures, manicures or facials here -- this treatment, called a "dukhan", requires women to sit over a small pile of burning wood.
It's a ceremony where women preparing to be brides are smoked.
Little bits of wood, you select your wood .
.
and you have some sort of oils, or perfumes, or things like that.
And you sit on this, stark naked.
You're buck naked.
And this one, what he is choosing is actually good.
And he is giving us one of the best pieces.
- Shukraan.
Thank you.
- ~ Brides do this, what, once a week or? For brides before the wedding, they do it daily.
- Every day?! - Every day they do it.
And this is part of preparing the wife for the wedding.
- And what does the bridegroom do? - I don't think he does much.
Maybe he shaves.
He just looks in the mirror and goes "That looks quite nice.
" And there is something I have to tell you about dukhan - that you will not hear a lot.
- Yeah.
It makes actually a woman a bit narrower.
That's very naughty of me to say.
It's very essential essential that you've told me this.
So I shall be slim, bronzed .
.
fitter and narrower.
As Hanan isn't married, she's never even had a dukhan.
So she's brought me to her friend's house.
Hello, I'm Joanna.
- As-Salaam-Alaikum.
- Alaikum-Salaam.
Sarah Abo is married and has a dukhan once a week.
So, to make a dukhan -- first, bury a pot in the back yard and surround with an attractive rush mat.
Then place two pieces of acacia wood into the pot .
.
and light with smouldering charcoal.
Finally, place comfortable but slightly bristly seat over the smoking wood.
- Come on, Joanna, are you ready? Oh, you look lovely.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Little bit whiskery.
Then we have to put some oil for you on your feet.
The finishing touch -- a sandalwood burner.
Sandalwood is thought to have relaxing, aphrodisiac qualities.
I wish you could smell this through the lens.
It's absolutely beautiful.
My skin was so smooth and sensual, I couldn't stop smelling it that night.
I just lay in my bed in Khartoum going "I smell divine for the first time EVER.
" But it's different back in London.
I wish somebody would do it -- get these dukhans.
It's really easy.
A small little burning thing and a little three-legged stool without the bottom in it, and you sitting over it.
It sounds a bit grim, but you're covered up.
You could get your nails done at the same time.
Think about it.
You heard it here first.
And from Khartoum we travelled on right down to southern Sudan to Juba.
We were lucky enough to be filming in a three-week window of opportunity -- a sort of ceasefire in the ghastly war that was going on there.
And we were so lucky.
We made the most of our time there.
We met some beautiful girls, beauty queens.
They were having a beauty pageant to celebrate the fact that they were allowed to.
During the conflict, it had all been banned.
On the shady banks of the Nile, the trainee beauty queens are being put through their paces Smile! .
.
by last year's winner, 28-year-old Nok Nora.
You're a queen.
Try to look at everyone.
All the tables, people eating spaghetti.
Nok, why was it important for you to follow this path - and become a beauty queen? - You know, since I was young I used to watch Miss Universe every once in a while.
And then when I came to Sudan, I thought I could actually be a good candidate -- come out, be an ambassador for South Sudan.
You said "when I came to Sudan".
Where had you been? My family were refugees.
We had exiled in the US and then we grew up there, we got American citizenship, some of us, and when the peace was signed we came back.
And you guys got to be closer.
What does this competition mean for Southern Sudan? I think it's a huge step in kind of showing normalcy.
And that everybody in South Sudan, they're tired of war, they're tired of all the issues and we just want to have peace.
We want to do the things all the other countries do.
Though beauty contests have become unfashionable in the UK, for these girls it's seen as an important way to campaign for women's rights.
When the judges say to you "Friday, what would you like to do with your year if you won", what would you say? Wouldn't you just wish that to be in a beauty competition all you had to do was just powder your gorgeous face? That's all.
At home, make-up going on for two hours for something like this.
Here, these gorgeous girls just pat their faces like that and then just look a million dollars.
I obviously only do the same.
Thank you.
This was an absolutely thrilling journey and I'd go back in a heartbeat.
But you know, we had the help of experienced people -- people who knew the ground, people who were translators and fixers.
If you ever think of doing trips like this, do what we do -- check in advance whether it's safe to go there, whether our country would be welcome there, and make yourselves good travellers.
You'll have a wonderful time.
And if, for any reason, you can't get there, why not stay at home and let me send you postcards?
My travels have taken me to far-flung places.
And I've had the privilege to visit famous sites infinitely familiar from picture postcards Wow.
.
.
and see them in a way hidden from most tourists.
That's extraordinary! In this series, I'm going to share with you new insights into some of my most extraordinary experiences -- It's not like The Archers.
.
.
my postcards to you.
Wherever I go in the world, I take a notebook and I keep a journal.
It's not a diary, because I don't do it every day, but in them I write down things that have really struck me -- things that maybe we haven't been able to show on camera.
Sometimes I do drawings, sometimes I glue in bits and pieces, just to keep my memories fresh.
And so, in these episodes I want to show you my highlights in postcard form.
In this journey, I'm gonna follow Egypt's ancient highway -- the Nile -- starting at the fan-shaped delta in the Mediterranean, following the winding Nile right down through Egypt to the hot, hot city of Aswan.
This is an old map, but you can just see it marked there.
Aswan.
And then, from there, down and down into Sudan and the desert.
Our first stop is Cairo.
It's a busy, bustling, crowded city home to 18 million people.
It's the largest in Africa and has been for 800 years.
So this is Khalili market.
- It's a market and a local tourist market -- everyone come here.
- Yeah? My guide, Ramy, took us right to the heart of the action.
This is a part of the old wall of Cairo.
It's Ramadan.
During this time of religious fasting, it's forbidden to eat or drink during the day.
However, the Prophet Muhammad did allow one relaxation of the rules which has become known as "entertaining the fast", using a miswak.
Here we go.
That's a miswak.
~ It looks just like a piece of wood to me.
When you taste it, it's not like wood.
- Basically There's one for you, I've got one for me.
- Yeah? - Oh, no, no, no.
No, I insist.
- OK, Joanna.
So basically, you go Can you feel the taste of them? Not yet, no.
What have I got to do, bite it? No.
- No.
As soon as you keep going - Keep going? The juice will come out or something? - This is entertaining the fast.
- Yes.
Don't you find this entertaining? - It is.
It is.
- I think it's very entertaining.
I know it's gonna burst into action in a second.
Maybe I made the mistake of swapping.
That's They have a better price of miswak as well.
A better price? You got me the cheapest one? - I didn't know he had a better one.
- OK, we want the best price, please.
Good.
Thank you.
Shukraan.
Thank you for that.
This looks altogether much more promising.
That is better? - That's lovely.
- Good.
So I might finish this, what, in two weeks, or a night, or when? I think with you, Joanna, it might take a couple of years.
Ramy, he was fantastic.
Anybody who went to Egypt to film got in touch with Ramy.
He was the very best.
He knew everything about Ancient Egypt.
But then he got married to a gorgeous girl, got two tiny babies, went and lived in Los Angeles.
And now he's a huge star out there.
He's made documentaries, and music videos, and advertising campaigns.
He's won an Emmy.
I haven't won an Emmy.
Back in Cairo, and Ramy had this great idea to see the pyramids riding on a camel.
So we went to meet his friend Mahmoud and Charlie Brown.
Good to meet you.
Thank you.
- This is Charlie.
- Yeah.
Hello, Charlie.
- How old is Charlie? - Seven years.
Mahmoud, he looks absolutely beautiful.
I give him a shower today.
I take care of them so much because I love them.
Well, I think I'm falling in love with you, Charlie Brown.
Hello, darling.
Hello, sweetheart.
Hello, Charlie.
That was a lovely munching kind of kiss.
Come, sweetheart.
So soft.
It's like leading a cloud behind me.
Because it was Ramadan, and I had my chewing stick, I was respecting the fast and wasn't going to eat until sunset.
Well, the camels are eating cos that's sensible, but I'm not having breakfast.
But actually, I practically never have breakfast anyway.
And, um, I quite often don't have lunch.
So can you see how my fast is gonna be a total fraud? I keep pretending I'm a theatre person, I have done loads of plays, but often theatre people eat after the show.
So quite often, the first meal I get is at 10:30 or 11:00 in any case.
So Know what I mean? Easy-peasy.
Famous last words.
It's OK, Charlie, it's me.
That's you saying "good morning.
" Thank you.
These are the Ramadan equivalent of Christmas lights in Oxford Street.
Before we could get to the pyramids, we had to get across this crazy road.
I tried to pretend I had nerves of steel.
Of course it was terrifying.
Thanks, guys.
I think you probably stop for a camel.
Made it.
And then, unbelievably, the urban sprawl gives way to this.
The thing that strikes me is that here we are, we're just on sand, but where did all this stone come from to build these massive structures which have lasted for so long? Well, Joanna, the stones actually came from two sides.
- The core of the pyramid would come from the local quarry here.
- Yeah? But then it was covered with fine limestone.
And that fine limestone had to come from further back.
And the only way it could come was through the Nile.
But the Nile's miles away from here.
- That's now, that's in modern days.
- Yeah? At the time, the Nile was literally just beyond those pyramids.
- Just beyond the pyramids? - Yeah.
How extraordinary! It's about three o'clock and we're leaving the pyramids cos they're all shutting down because it's Ramadan and they close early today.
And it's been a day of quite extraordinary splendour.
The excitement of actually travelling here, riding here on a camel, was just thrilling.
And to be out in these great, extraordinary sands with these pyramids behind us -- one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
I expect you can name the others.
Unfortunately, because I'm so hungry, I can't.
I'm so sorry.
In Ramadan, the first thing you eat to break the fast in the evening every day is dates.
And I just adore dates.
I love them.
I'd never seen them farmed.
And of course, they're farmed on both sides of the Nile, all the way down.
They shinned up the tree, they hacked, vast clumps of dates crashed down.
- Wow! - Wow! Wow! And they were quite different from these dates, which I've got here, because they were kind of they were green.
They weren't dimply or wrinkled at all.
Slightly crunchy and very sweet.
Almost juicy.
Really beautiful.
And these obviously, well, I adore.
I keep dates close to me wherever I am.
Um These aren't the dates I brought back, cos that was in 2009.
And I'm not THAT mean, you know? But I do like a date.
A I do like a date, thank you.
We made our way onwards to Aswan by boat.
Here we met Captain Abdul Aziz.
He's been working on the Nile for 56 years, since he was a boy helping his father.
And he was a pretty interesting character.
Is this the way that the stones came down for the pyramids, on a boat like this? Do you have any stories about the Nile? Haunted? Scary.
~ What do the demons look like? Do you have a mobile phone? So will you call me when you see a demon? ~ I'll come and sort that demon out for you.
~ He never rang me.
The demons must have gone.
The next part of the journey takes me into Sudan.
And there I've got postcards from a warrior queen, and a beauty queen, and you get to see me in my incense bath.
And it's not what you're imagining, actually.
Travelling down, and we'd left Egypt, we'd come out of Aswan, we'd crossed the great Lake Nasser and were making our way -- our hot, hot way -- down to Khartoum, we stayed in the desert.
It's pretty odd to be writing a journal and put at the top of it "Nubian Desert.
" I never thought I'd write that in my life.
The sun's beginning to go.
Everywhere I am in the world, if I can, I try to watch the sun going down.
"Dear diary, give everything away .
.
and camp.
" I didn't write that, cos it's not true.
I like camping actually, and I had a neat little tent, and I was one of only two women, all the rest were men, most of whom were obviously desert people who were helping us drive and so on.
(Trying to go out to the loo in the middle of the night.
) The desert -- there's nowhere to hide.
There are no trees or rocks.
That was the longest night of my life.
Absolute murder.
But anyway, we then went to Karima.
Karima! Karima was extraordinary.
Once the heart of the great kingdom called Nubia.
Just outside the town, there's evidence of a chapter of history that's largely untold -- the story of the Black Pharaohs.
Unbelievably, there are more than twice as many pyramids here in Sudan than in Egypt.
And there are no crowds.
No-one there to take tickets.
We were the only visitors.
I think a tourist to Sudan could be forgiven for missing out on the next great treat.
It's like Sudan's hidden secrets.
It's this extraordinarily important couple of tombs that still remain -- all the rest have disappeared.
They used to be under pyramids, now they're just tombs.
But they've got fabulous things inside, I think.
I can't wait to see them.
This is the cemetery of El-Kurru.
Here, the Black Pharaohs were buried over 2,500 years ago.
~ Despite the vandalism, the most impressive tomb is that of Queen Qalhata, mother of the last Nubian pharaoh.
- Huge staircase - Be careful.
- .
.
with a great big step.
So this ceiling is very beautiful and blue.
And here, Mushab, - is this where the body would have been put down, on here? - Yes.
It should be in this point exactly.
Can we go onto it? Can we step on it now? And this is the picture of her body lying as it would be, wrapped in her funeral clothes.
- You see here the bed, the shape of the lion.
- Yes.
And all the tools of the war under, - because our queens, they were warrior queens.
- Right.
- So these are weapons.
- Yes.
Yes.
Daggers, spears, arrows.
How fantastic! But here, on this side .
.
now this is wonderful.
I'm going to get down and look at this because she's turned around.
She seems to have come back to life.
Yes, after smelling ankh.
After smelling the ankh.
So that's the key of life there, with the criss-cross and that loop there.
He's giving it to her to smell.
Here's the god.
Only one thousand people a year come here.
That's not very many, is it? I hope it stays like this.
I'd hate it to get any grander.
I was blown away by that burial chamber.
Far more intimate than the tour you're taken on in Egypt's majestic Valley of the Kings -- this little tomb of a warrior queen.
Filming everywhere in Khartoum was a slow struggle.
Our permits were questioned.
The Mahdi's palace, where General Gordon was beheaded on the steps, denied us access, even though previously it was OK'd.
Hanan.
Hanan.
She was the one who went off wood-smoking ceremony.
My dukhan.
I was so terrified of that, I thought my bottom would be burnt.
How are you? How nice to see you, Hanan.
Thank you for this.
- Well, it's my pleasure.
- Oh, thank you, Hanan.
This may look like a timber yard, but all these products are sold to Sudanese women to make them look beautiful and smell good for their men.
We're not talking pedicures, manicures or facials here -- this treatment, called a "dukhan", requires women to sit over a small pile of burning wood.
It's a ceremony where women preparing to be brides are smoked.
Little bits of wood, you select your wood .
.
and you have some sort of oils, or perfumes, or things like that.
And you sit on this, stark naked.
You're buck naked.
And this one, what he is choosing is actually good.
And he is giving us one of the best pieces.
- Shukraan.
Thank you.
- ~ Brides do this, what, once a week or? For brides before the wedding, they do it daily.
- Every day?! - Every day they do it.
And this is part of preparing the wife for the wedding.
- And what does the bridegroom do? - I don't think he does much.
Maybe he shaves.
He just looks in the mirror and goes "That looks quite nice.
" And there is something I have to tell you about dukhan - that you will not hear a lot.
- Yeah.
It makes actually a woman a bit narrower.
That's very naughty of me to say.
It's very essential essential that you've told me this.
So I shall be slim, bronzed .
.
fitter and narrower.
As Hanan isn't married, she's never even had a dukhan.
So she's brought me to her friend's house.
Hello, I'm Joanna.
- As-Salaam-Alaikum.
- Alaikum-Salaam.
Sarah Abo is married and has a dukhan once a week.
So, to make a dukhan -- first, bury a pot in the back yard and surround with an attractive rush mat.
Then place two pieces of acacia wood into the pot .
.
and light with smouldering charcoal.
Finally, place comfortable but slightly bristly seat over the smoking wood.
- Come on, Joanna, are you ready? Oh, you look lovely.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Little bit whiskery.
Then we have to put some oil for you on your feet.
The finishing touch -- a sandalwood burner.
Sandalwood is thought to have relaxing, aphrodisiac qualities.
I wish you could smell this through the lens.
It's absolutely beautiful.
My skin was so smooth and sensual, I couldn't stop smelling it that night.
I just lay in my bed in Khartoum going "I smell divine for the first time EVER.
" But it's different back in London.
I wish somebody would do it -- get these dukhans.
It's really easy.
A small little burning thing and a little three-legged stool without the bottom in it, and you sitting over it.
It sounds a bit grim, but you're covered up.
You could get your nails done at the same time.
Think about it.
You heard it here first.
And from Khartoum we travelled on right down to southern Sudan to Juba.
We were lucky enough to be filming in a three-week window of opportunity -- a sort of ceasefire in the ghastly war that was going on there.
And we were so lucky.
We made the most of our time there.
We met some beautiful girls, beauty queens.
They were having a beauty pageant to celebrate the fact that they were allowed to.
During the conflict, it had all been banned.
On the shady banks of the Nile, the trainee beauty queens are being put through their paces Smile! .
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by last year's winner, 28-year-old Nok Nora.
You're a queen.
Try to look at everyone.
All the tables, people eating spaghetti.
Nok, why was it important for you to follow this path - and become a beauty queen? - You know, since I was young I used to watch Miss Universe every once in a while.
And then when I came to Sudan, I thought I could actually be a good candidate -- come out, be an ambassador for South Sudan.
You said "when I came to Sudan".
Where had you been? My family were refugees.
We had exiled in the US and then we grew up there, we got American citizenship, some of us, and when the peace was signed we came back.
And you guys got to be closer.
What does this competition mean for Southern Sudan? I think it's a huge step in kind of showing normalcy.
And that everybody in South Sudan, they're tired of war, they're tired of all the issues and we just want to have peace.
We want to do the things all the other countries do.
Though beauty contests have become unfashionable in the UK, for these girls it's seen as an important way to campaign for women's rights.
When the judges say to you "Friday, what would you like to do with your year if you won", what would you say? Wouldn't you just wish that to be in a beauty competition all you had to do was just powder your gorgeous face? That's all.
At home, make-up going on for two hours for something like this.
Here, these gorgeous girls just pat their faces like that and then just look a million dollars.
I obviously only do the same.
Thank you.
This was an absolutely thrilling journey and I'd go back in a heartbeat.
But you know, we had the help of experienced people -- people who knew the ground, people who were translators and fixers.
If you ever think of doing trips like this, do what we do -- check in advance whether it's safe to go there, whether our country would be welcome there, and make yourselves good travellers.
You'll have a wonderful time.
And if, for any reason, you can't get there, why not stay at home and let me send you postcards?