John from Cincinnati s01e04 Episode Script
His visit: Day three
Hey, what are you doing? Fucking homicidal prick! Mark Lewinski, Doctor.
We met at the Ronald McDonald thing - for the kids last year.
- Oh, yes.
Good copy in the morning paper does not necessarily mean uninterrupted sleep for the hospital's liability attorney.
Would you like me to prescribe some barbiturates? What I would like from you, sir what the hospital very much would like is some sort of accounting as to how a patient could be admitted with a flatline E.
E.
G.
, be oxygen-deprived for 27 minutes, be worked up for a C2 fracture then exit the side door of our hospital within two hours.
I believe he left piggyback.
Levity, Doctor? This family is not going to sue.
"Miracle Boy" does undercut pain and suffering.
The hospital has a public relations problem, this should alleviate it.
"In resigning, I acknowledge misreading the Yost boy's tests, which, on recognizing my mistake, I destroyed.
" Well, that's very forthcoming.
"Inhuman hours, incessant overwork"? Put that in a "P.
S.
" Surfing Shaunie? Yeah, he had a slow day yesterday.
Ah.
I'm going to go look for that nut, that guy for my friend John.
Over the back fence, fucking reporters are having breakfast outside.
Sometimes to save what you love, you have to be willing to lose it.
It's like surfing.
If you do it for the wrong reasons, for the points, it's just a dead game.
Mmm.
Your poor leg.
Last night is as bad as it's gonna get.
Get some herbs, make up a poultice and pffft.
You feel that? The way the heat flows just like chakra to chakra? You see the colors? John? Are you dumping out? John? Cass, are you in there? No, it's Amelia Earhart.
- Could you come out here? - What? It's important.
"Is two days off a crime? Do I ever get to fucking relax?" That was you, boss, in your sleep during the night.
I don't talk in my sleep.
Physician.
It's that physician.
- Hello? - Hello.
Uh I'm looking for Butchie Yost.
The gentleman across the way pointed out the room to me.
I hope you don't mind I've come in.
You didn't read the paper this morning? That family had a miracle last night.
At the hospital.
I was Shaun Yost's doctor.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Itchy.
I'm careful with germs.
I smelled smoke, thought maybe it was the stove.
You want to stay or something? You could wait for Butchie.
I'll take my tools and you can yeah.
Okay, sure.
Wait.
In other words, you want to talk about all this strange shit that's going on? You're an expert in that field that is what I brought you on for? Okay, Linc, I get it.
If you got it, you'd still be in that room with him.
He went out to get a poultice for his knee.
You should be embarrassed to have to tell me that.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
The correct answer would be, "While you, Linc, are signing Cissy, I'm going to try to sell him on moving out of his house for good.
" "Share and share alike.
" - Right, carnal? - Right, carnal.
That's how we do it in I.
B.
So, John from Cincinnati, it's time to chip in.
We've done our last beer.
Gas too.
How about I fuck you up, joto? How about I fuck you up? You being funny? Just get his pinche wallet, man.
- You think this is a joke, cabron? - I think this is a joke.
I'll cut your fucking heart out.
- Cut my fucking heart out.
- You don't think I'll cut you? - Show you your heart while you die.
- Show me my heart.
- You ready to look, you fuck? - I'm ready.
Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck! You stare me down? You stare me down?! I ain't afraid to be the last you see.
Cold shot, mano.
You did what you had to do, carnal.
Get this fuck out of my ride.
Hey, doc.
How are you? That guy's lost I was with at the hospital.
I thought he'd be here with Butchie.
Butchie's not here either.
Things slow at the hospital? I've resigned.
Whoa.
If you see Butchie, will you tell him I'm looking for John? I'm going to check on Shaun in just a bit.
Good idea, Cissy.
Shaunie's surfing with Jo-Jo and his other friends.
Out with the groms like yesterday never even happened.
You got something you need me to sign, Linc? Today isn't yesterday, Cissy, and I'm not clear on what the new rules are, but I know the old ones have been canceled.
Mmm, and you find time to come by and tell me? Do you know everything that you need to know, dressing up like Michael Jackson while your boy's in the water with 50 assholes pointing a camera at him? Works for me.
Of course, all those other kids in the water with Shaun, I've signed them already.
And I need you, right, Linc? Your steadying hand? Where's Mitch? My money would be, even seeing Shaun last night didn't convert you from the kind of asshole who only asks questions he knows the answer to.
You want to help? Stay do the dishes.
Right.
- Shit.
- What? I thought John would be with you.
Well, give me a fucking break, Kai.
Well, he must've wandered off when I was sleeping.
I looked for him at your motel.
I spent the night at my mom's house.
He could be anywhere in the fucking world by now.
Don't stop there.
Did he freak out about boning you? He doesn't even know what "boning" means.
Maybe I'd have wound up showing him, except my pussy overheated like it was cooking on a George Foreman grill.
My tits too like they were in a blast furnace.
You got hardware in your box.
- So? - Your nipple rings.
My implants were overheating too, Kai.
That's why my head was going up in smoke.
Fuck! It was.
We were in my trailer figuring out he was a virgin, and John says, "See God, Kai.
" Just like that.
And then I went into some hallucinatory state.
And there was smoke coming out of your head.
Fuck.
Do you want to go looking for him with me? Yeah, I'll go with you.
All right, let's check out the pier.
For not knowing what the word meant, I wonder how John got the idea to bone me? I was trying to tell him that he picked a nice person to like.
Look at this, Zip.
This fills me with misgivings bandying words like "miracle" in the newspaper headline.
This can only attract new types of shitheel into that boy's life, which wasn't short of shitheels before.
We're going to keep our distance, I'm informing you of that right now.
We're not going to jockey for attention or be looked at as a nuisance, like I saw last night in Shaun's grandmother's eyes when I was over at that house.
Or stand in the street amongst mopes, like that Hawaiian and his belt-high sidekick or the soup brigade from that motel.
I have plenty of tasks and chores within this house that I've been derelict attending to that will more than occupy our time.
There it is.
That's it.
That's the doomsday scenario.
May this pain come to Clinton for disgracing the Oval Office.
Ooh! Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.
That will never happen again a sequence of events so complicated that Butchie Yost at the age of 10 could help the only woman in the world that when I pass a remark about some airhead pisspot that I collar, she has the sweetness to recall, "I wonder if it's that Yost boy that used to help me with my groceries.
" I throw him a break because of my darling Lois, keep one eye out after, since I unloosed him in society.
That that looking out for Butchie would later cross my path with Shaun when Butchie became a junkie dumpster tenant.
Now who in his right mind would believe that that sequence of events could be repeated? That boy is gone from us.
And I don't regret one thing.
Children or not the time I spent with you was the joy of my life.
I've got a favor, guys.
I'm looking for a buddy of mine.
We lost our friend.
He's about yea tall, collar up like this, walks around, "What do you want, Butchie Yost?" Have you seen a guy that looks like that around here? No? Well, if you do, I want you to tell this lady right here.
Can you do that? Nice.
All right, give me a pound.
Boom boom boom.
Mario Brothers I got the high score on that.
The first place he asked me what I wanted, right there.
"What do you want, Butchie Yost?" Should we put up a plaque? Hello.
Shaun's surfing.
Mrs.
Yost's at work.
And you're pitching in, cleaning house.
What, is this a restricted area? That wouldn't be for me to say.
Michael Smith.
Linc Stark.
We, uh, didn't introduce ourselves at the hospital when you were throwing me off the floor.
Well, that was for me to say.
People need room to do their jobs.
Of course, your job's over now though.
Am I right? Unless you get sued? Negligent oversight, incompetent evaluation, emotionally damaging for the family.
I'm not here to protect my ass.
That's a plus for the Yosts.
Now that Shaunie's out of the woods, they've got new hills to climb.
They don't have time for hangers-on and losers making the trip any tougher.
Are you related to the Yosts? Not by blood.
Maybe you just smell it in the water.
Would that make me dangerous? To whatever got Shaun well? I wouldn't think so, no.
Which does it make me, Linc, a loser or a hanger-on, if I believe a miracle might've got him well? It makes you a fanatic.
Oh.
Tell Mrs.
Yost and Shaun I stopped by.
Absolutely.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for a wetsuit.
Full suits, shorties, two-mil, three-twos.
Thanks.
Sick.
Yost totally surfs faster than Fanning.
Dude, my grandmother surfs faster than Fanning, and she died last year.
So what? Yost died yesterday.
Who's that wetsuit for? It's for me.
Hmm.
Surfing in drag is a little rough on your nuts.
No, she asked me to look for one for her too my girlfriend.
Is that what you call your hand your girlfriend? I guess it's a slow day for train wrecks, right? You pieces of shit.
- You fucking newspaper assholes.
- It's my camera, lady.
I'll give you your camera and you take it outside! How are you feeling, Shaun? How's your neck? Get out of here, you piece of shit.
Fuck out! Get the fuck out! Ooh, Miracle Boy said "shit.
" You get the hell out of here too.
Look at the mess you made.
What'd I do? Stupid fuckers.
Hey.
Fuck me.
Jesus, what happened? It's not that bad.
I'm going to get you some help.
I'm going to my truck.
It's just up here it's not just up here, but I'll be back in just a minute.
I promise I'll be back for you.
Hey, I'm in my underwear, and I don't want any magazines.
It's me, Bill.
That's Butch.
- Are you in trouble? - No.
Well, my testicles are on display to the neighborhood.
Get in here.
That guy John is missing, my surf student from Cincinnati.
Where's your son? He was surfing with Sammy and them, my mom said.
In relation to that guy going missing, when is the last time you saw Shaun? - Last night.
- It's Kai, Cissy.
If you haven't noticed, I'm late for work.
I hear Shaunie got wet this morning, he get any good ones? She's got a couple of brains what's she doing with you? Anyways, I'm helping Butchie look for his loopy friend.
At the shop Shaunie? Not abducted; that was my concern.
Now this John who is missing and not a pervert what do you know about him? He's got a credit card with his name on it.
Yeah, "John Monad.
" You found no occasion to garner further information from other I.
D? Well, I asked him straight out, Bill, and he says, "I don't know, Butchie, instead.
" Well, that would raise the question of mental health.
Should we notify the cops he's lost? Huh? You got a photograph? Uh, no.
Anyways, they won't list him for 24 hours.
I'll give them an informal heads-upping, not that they pay attention to me anyway.
Okay.
Thanks, Bill.
It's his attitude anyways he's going to end up on the wrong end of a nightstick.
"I got my eye on you.
" See you, Bill.
- Whoa, what's your goddamn hurry? - We gotta go look for John.
What do I look like, an information booth bolted to the floor? - Am I a recent amputee? - Do you want to go look with us? How is that going to augment the effectiveness? We divide the community into quadrants.
Good.
Great.
That way Bill can't hit us.
Sarcastic that's how he got so successful.
Okay, going out to help these two.
Something new every day.
Closed.
The Alternative "Apocathary"? Apothecary, and they're pretty casual about their business hours.
What do you think about my levitation? I don't know what to think like always.
You know, you feel over the years I don't know that maybe something about you is special.
And you assume, I guess, that the thing that's special has to do with what you're good at.
Surfing.
And now maybe it turns out I go up in the air, Shaun heals, and maybe all along this feeling of being special wasn't about athletics or years of spiritual discipline.
Maybe it's about family.
Do you want to stay here, Mitch? You see what I'm saying though? - Yeah, I do.
- No, right? I mean, - I go up in the air.
- Shaunie heals, yeah, I know.
And the joker in the deck is this John.
- Butchie's friend.
- What's his connection to the family? 'Cause whenever I see him he looks at me like he knows something about me that I haven't even known myself.
He sure is an amazing surfer.
How would you know that? Don't get a restraining order or anything, but I have been watching you.
A couple of days ago? Oh, yeah, when you were watching me.
Maybe it is about how I surf and Shaun being my grandson.
I'd like to stay here, I think.
I mean just till we get this all kind of figured out.
I don't mean every single night.
I wonder if the store's open yet where you get your poultice? I'm sorry about the bumps.
I'm sorry I can't help.
Pull over, Joe.
Joe, pull over.
You can help.
Good afternoon.
Uh hello.
Those are beautiful roses.
You want a catalog? - A Cadillac? - Yes.
Sometimes I've - oh, a "catalog.
" - Yes.
Yes, of course, I would thank you.
Eh is this the way to the Snug Harbor Motel? Yes.
That's where I'm going.
Gonna look in on Butchie Yost.
I'm a physician.
He have some festering implants.
Thank you for this.
I'll fill this out.
I'm sure there's some wonderful products in here.
- Those are beautiful roses.
- Thank you.
I guess I'll wait here.
If he comes by the surf shop, I'll call you right away.
- You're gonna go over there? - Only six hours late to work.
Well, no, good.
You know, in case he shows up.
You know, I'll catch you later.
Thanks for walking with me.
Well, thanks for the peck.
I know, right? What the fuck was that about? Abogado Dickstein.
How are things, Ramon? What's going on in the world? Butchie's in his place with that blond.
Previously they were looking for his surf student.
Then the Hawaiians over there are working on their tan.
Some day yesterday.
And how.
Yesterday was a three-ring circus.
Here's that physician.
The physician.
Forget something, Doc? I left my dignity.
I was wondering if Butchie had come back.
He got company now a young lady.
Ahh.
'Scuse me.
El jefe.
Good day.
Mr.
Cunningham the new owner of the motel.
Ah.
As I risk repeating.
Doc, how are you? Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
I'd like for us all to work together, and I've blurted it out, and I'm glad.
The name's Palaka, Doc.
No reason that you'd realize, but last night you were talking to Butchie; I was under that half-pipe.
You want me to examine your wrist? Oh, do you do informal diagnosises? I thought you already employed us.
Let's consider we're permanently associated.
Oh, is that too overtly gay? What association do you envision? Oh, a working business partnership.
I'm referring to the phrasing of the offer.
Butchie Yost? In his room.
Apprising him on the results of a search.
No cell phone.
I suppose you got to explain that, these days.
I could give less of a shit.
He's with that strange-haired girl.
Doing what? How the fuck would I know? - Earache ringing.
- Getting back to the wrist, you really should have this X-rayed and set.
Well, I should file tax returns too, Doc.
The government, all these years What is this nonsense now? Excuse me.
I fucking touched him and he fucking healed.
I'm a physician.
What's the problem? No problem, medic.
Let him make a fool out of you.
Don't move him.
Put him down.
He ain't fucking hurt.
You helped me, Joe.
Now you keep mouthing off like that, frat boy, and I'm liable to knock you out.
- Do you feel any pain? - I don't feel any pain.
It's bullshit, right? It's a healed wound with fresh blood.
I don't know what it is.
Phonied-up gag.
It's a bunch of goddamn nonsense.
Well, whatever's happened, you seem to be all right now.
Well, I guess it's time to identify which warped rear-echelon asshole at the V.
F.
W.
Bar where I drink thought something I confided about events in-country was worth abuse for the sake of a fucking chuckle! You didn't leave me behind, Joe.
Now you listen to me, frat boy.
You're gonna tell me who it was, and then I am jumping in that van and driving to that gin mill and I am gonna do some damage.
Tomorrow is another day.
I'm undertaking inquiries tomorrow.
You can guarantee that goddamn much.
Oh God, I'm sorry, Kai, but I haven't been high in three days.
I'll get hard over mud.
- Butchie? - What? Let's go to my place.
Anything could be growing in those sheets.
Bill Jacks! Coming, Bill.
We just completed our quadrants.
Safe I- Got-My-Eye-On-You.
- Great.
- Where was he? My God, you have an erection.
He's right outside.
Jesus Christ.
I want to bring down the hammer back at your place.
What if it's now or never? We'll go see how he's doing.
Yeah, maybe he's having fun with whoever he's with.
Let me just fix this unsightly bulge.
So every collar you took in Hawaii there, that smart mouth buy you a beating? Nuh-uh, you boys were too eager to earn.
Bill's not Freddy's first "Bill.
" See, I was never that type.
That's how you got your Rolls Royce.
Stay with the truck, I'm free to beat humps like you.
Freddy's not Bill's first "Freddy.
" You're in the right place, Doc.
So you say.
Tomorrow is another day.
I suppose I could take tonight to fill out this catalog.
Put that in a "P.
S.
" What the hell happened to you, Monad? - He's all right.
- Well, his clothes are sure fucked up.
"That's how we do it in I.
B.
" I got my eye on you, Bill.
We've got all three rings working now.
Check out the Porsche.
That chick works for Linc.
She was looking to slap it on your dad.
Cass needs a place to work.
What the fuck? Is she slapping it on him too? Look at my man John.
Styling and profiling, baby.
- I guess I'll say goodbye.
- Okay, Doc.
How's the implants? Yeah, good.
No heat or smoke all day.
We got a position for a house physician? Vroom-vroom.
I'll stop by and see you tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll spend the night hoping somebody don't cut in front of me.
Butchie wants to bring down the hammer.
Do you mind, John? - I do mind.
- Nah, he doesn't mean it.
Get rid of the unsightly bulge.
The Yost Surfing School: 24 hours I will have you in the water or in some pussy.
The Alternative Apothecary has this lending library.
- Light reading.
- Sweet.
"Levitation for the Illuminated.
" But you know, I don't think you should stay here.
Sure.
Why? He needs a place to stay.
He's all right.
Yeah, he looks great.
I'll be right back.
The joker in the deck.
I'd better have a good health plan.
Do you need to stand aside for me to pass, or are you you just going to part like the Red Sea? I'll spare you the candles, but you can't say the music blows.
Deal.
And no fucking laughing, Butchie.
Come on, Kai.
Was this playing the first time I threw up on you? It was playing at our junior prom.
I missed our junior prom.
Yeah.
And no freaking out about my piercings.
You're kidding, right? Knowing about them is one thing, seeing them is different.
No freaking out.
All my ladies set off the airport metal detectors or they're not my ladies long.
And let me say this: With the compact metal detector right here in my tongue, I will find everywhere your metal may be hid.
Barry White is in the house.
I threw Mitch out.
Good thinking.
You know you're fucking fired, right? I mean, you're not that bone-fucking-stupid to think I would keep you on the payroll.
What guts.
What honesty, what intelligence, without the vaguest idea of what is happening.
Being sure, it means you need to be broke.
A couple of strange things happen, you decide God's taking over for Santa, deciding who's naughty and nice.
He's firing up that coal log to burn the naughty in hell.
Shall we try it again? Through the door? I'll work over here, John.
And then you'll sleep over here while I sleep on the bed.
Will you mind sleeping on the floor here? See God, Kai.
"Cass.
" See God, Cass.
What do you mean? Work over there.
Sweet enough look to his mug, I- Got-My-Eye-On-You, when he restrains himself from running his mouth.
Far as him being stabbed, I'm not doubting it could've been a hoax.
I don't subscribe it definitely was being I and a bird of my acquaintance know a boy who survived fatal injury, following the bird's own resurrection.
Sole change from what I said to you previous, Zip: Last overlap between me and the Yosts, Butchie asking my help with that search.
A "P.
S.
," my assistance an end to the concluding chapter, the final completion and finish.
That is senseless and offensive.
I deal with that shitbird only to put him in bracelets, and I'm surprised you'd need me to say so.
Is what you envision relative to those people I balance the Hawaiian's bad influence? Well, that, Zip, would outstrip by a full triple-somersault every previous unlikely set of circumstances.
Yeah.
Otherwise I'd have a moment's peace to myself.
Cup of joe Winchell's assorted dozen.
Where's the dwarf with the dangling arm? He's in our shared bathroom.
I'm here on orders from my bird.
If you're waiting for me to ask you what you're talking about, plan on falling over dead before I do.
My bird Zippy conveyed to me, despite the obvious dissimilarities between us, we become friends.
He used the word "dissimilarities"? He conveyed.
He conveyed - I never said he spoke.
- Oh.
Not that what else he can do, he couldn't speak if he wanted to, and do knitting to keep himself busy.
Maybe he conveyed to make friends with a different Freddy, your telepathic bird.
You'd think that, you degenerate nitwit.
What, is there a room of Freddys somewheres around here? - What's that, a Mustang pulled in here? - Yeah.
The make of the car is what I'm paying attention to.
I'm looking for Butchie Yost.
I'm him if he don't owe you money.
He's not him.
Butchie's not here.
You care to leave a message? On my face? With your ass? Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ! What my bird was thinking to dispatch me to you, I haven't the vaguest goddamn idea.
I got a lizard back home, changes shapes.
Chameleons, they call them.
We met at the Ronald McDonald thing - for the kids last year.
- Oh, yes.
Good copy in the morning paper does not necessarily mean uninterrupted sleep for the hospital's liability attorney.
Would you like me to prescribe some barbiturates? What I would like from you, sir what the hospital very much would like is some sort of accounting as to how a patient could be admitted with a flatline E.
E.
G.
, be oxygen-deprived for 27 minutes, be worked up for a C2 fracture then exit the side door of our hospital within two hours.
I believe he left piggyback.
Levity, Doctor? This family is not going to sue.
"Miracle Boy" does undercut pain and suffering.
The hospital has a public relations problem, this should alleviate it.
"In resigning, I acknowledge misreading the Yost boy's tests, which, on recognizing my mistake, I destroyed.
" Well, that's very forthcoming.
"Inhuman hours, incessant overwork"? Put that in a "P.
S.
" Surfing Shaunie? Yeah, he had a slow day yesterday.
Ah.
I'm going to go look for that nut, that guy for my friend John.
Over the back fence, fucking reporters are having breakfast outside.
Sometimes to save what you love, you have to be willing to lose it.
It's like surfing.
If you do it for the wrong reasons, for the points, it's just a dead game.
Mmm.
Your poor leg.
Last night is as bad as it's gonna get.
Get some herbs, make up a poultice and pffft.
You feel that? The way the heat flows just like chakra to chakra? You see the colors? John? Are you dumping out? John? Cass, are you in there? No, it's Amelia Earhart.
- Could you come out here? - What? It's important.
"Is two days off a crime? Do I ever get to fucking relax?" That was you, boss, in your sleep during the night.
I don't talk in my sleep.
Physician.
It's that physician.
- Hello? - Hello.
Uh I'm looking for Butchie Yost.
The gentleman across the way pointed out the room to me.
I hope you don't mind I've come in.
You didn't read the paper this morning? That family had a miracle last night.
At the hospital.
I was Shaun Yost's doctor.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Itchy.
I'm careful with germs.
I smelled smoke, thought maybe it was the stove.
You want to stay or something? You could wait for Butchie.
I'll take my tools and you can yeah.
Okay, sure.
Wait.
In other words, you want to talk about all this strange shit that's going on? You're an expert in that field that is what I brought you on for? Okay, Linc, I get it.
If you got it, you'd still be in that room with him.
He went out to get a poultice for his knee.
You should be embarrassed to have to tell me that.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
The correct answer would be, "While you, Linc, are signing Cissy, I'm going to try to sell him on moving out of his house for good.
" "Share and share alike.
" - Right, carnal? - Right, carnal.
That's how we do it in I.
B.
So, John from Cincinnati, it's time to chip in.
We've done our last beer.
Gas too.
How about I fuck you up, joto? How about I fuck you up? You being funny? Just get his pinche wallet, man.
- You think this is a joke, cabron? - I think this is a joke.
I'll cut your fucking heart out.
- Cut my fucking heart out.
- You don't think I'll cut you? - Show you your heart while you die.
- Show me my heart.
- You ready to look, you fuck? - I'm ready.
Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck! You stare me down? You stare me down?! I ain't afraid to be the last you see.
Cold shot, mano.
You did what you had to do, carnal.
Get this fuck out of my ride.
Hey, doc.
How are you? That guy's lost I was with at the hospital.
I thought he'd be here with Butchie.
Butchie's not here either.
Things slow at the hospital? I've resigned.
Whoa.
If you see Butchie, will you tell him I'm looking for John? I'm going to check on Shaun in just a bit.
Good idea, Cissy.
Shaunie's surfing with Jo-Jo and his other friends.
Out with the groms like yesterday never even happened.
You got something you need me to sign, Linc? Today isn't yesterday, Cissy, and I'm not clear on what the new rules are, but I know the old ones have been canceled.
Mmm, and you find time to come by and tell me? Do you know everything that you need to know, dressing up like Michael Jackson while your boy's in the water with 50 assholes pointing a camera at him? Works for me.
Of course, all those other kids in the water with Shaun, I've signed them already.
And I need you, right, Linc? Your steadying hand? Where's Mitch? My money would be, even seeing Shaun last night didn't convert you from the kind of asshole who only asks questions he knows the answer to.
You want to help? Stay do the dishes.
Right.
- Shit.
- What? I thought John would be with you.
Well, give me a fucking break, Kai.
Well, he must've wandered off when I was sleeping.
I looked for him at your motel.
I spent the night at my mom's house.
He could be anywhere in the fucking world by now.
Don't stop there.
Did he freak out about boning you? He doesn't even know what "boning" means.
Maybe I'd have wound up showing him, except my pussy overheated like it was cooking on a George Foreman grill.
My tits too like they were in a blast furnace.
You got hardware in your box.
- So? - Your nipple rings.
My implants were overheating too, Kai.
That's why my head was going up in smoke.
Fuck! It was.
We were in my trailer figuring out he was a virgin, and John says, "See God, Kai.
" Just like that.
And then I went into some hallucinatory state.
And there was smoke coming out of your head.
Fuck.
Do you want to go looking for him with me? Yeah, I'll go with you.
All right, let's check out the pier.
For not knowing what the word meant, I wonder how John got the idea to bone me? I was trying to tell him that he picked a nice person to like.
Look at this, Zip.
This fills me with misgivings bandying words like "miracle" in the newspaper headline.
This can only attract new types of shitheel into that boy's life, which wasn't short of shitheels before.
We're going to keep our distance, I'm informing you of that right now.
We're not going to jockey for attention or be looked at as a nuisance, like I saw last night in Shaun's grandmother's eyes when I was over at that house.
Or stand in the street amongst mopes, like that Hawaiian and his belt-high sidekick or the soup brigade from that motel.
I have plenty of tasks and chores within this house that I've been derelict attending to that will more than occupy our time.
There it is.
That's it.
That's the doomsday scenario.
May this pain come to Clinton for disgracing the Oval Office.
Ooh! Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.
That will never happen again a sequence of events so complicated that Butchie Yost at the age of 10 could help the only woman in the world that when I pass a remark about some airhead pisspot that I collar, she has the sweetness to recall, "I wonder if it's that Yost boy that used to help me with my groceries.
" I throw him a break because of my darling Lois, keep one eye out after, since I unloosed him in society.
That that looking out for Butchie would later cross my path with Shaun when Butchie became a junkie dumpster tenant.
Now who in his right mind would believe that that sequence of events could be repeated? That boy is gone from us.
And I don't regret one thing.
Children or not the time I spent with you was the joy of my life.
I've got a favor, guys.
I'm looking for a buddy of mine.
We lost our friend.
He's about yea tall, collar up like this, walks around, "What do you want, Butchie Yost?" Have you seen a guy that looks like that around here? No? Well, if you do, I want you to tell this lady right here.
Can you do that? Nice.
All right, give me a pound.
Boom boom boom.
Mario Brothers I got the high score on that.
The first place he asked me what I wanted, right there.
"What do you want, Butchie Yost?" Should we put up a plaque? Hello.
Shaun's surfing.
Mrs.
Yost's at work.
And you're pitching in, cleaning house.
What, is this a restricted area? That wouldn't be for me to say.
Michael Smith.
Linc Stark.
We, uh, didn't introduce ourselves at the hospital when you were throwing me off the floor.
Well, that was for me to say.
People need room to do their jobs.
Of course, your job's over now though.
Am I right? Unless you get sued? Negligent oversight, incompetent evaluation, emotionally damaging for the family.
I'm not here to protect my ass.
That's a plus for the Yosts.
Now that Shaunie's out of the woods, they've got new hills to climb.
They don't have time for hangers-on and losers making the trip any tougher.
Are you related to the Yosts? Not by blood.
Maybe you just smell it in the water.
Would that make me dangerous? To whatever got Shaun well? I wouldn't think so, no.
Which does it make me, Linc, a loser or a hanger-on, if I believe a miracle might've got him well? It makes you a fanatic.
Oh.
Tell Mrs.
Yost and Shaun I stopped by.
Absolutely.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for a wetsuit.
Full suits, shorties, two-mil, three-twos.
Thanks.
Sick.
Yost totally surfs faster than Fanning.
Dude, my grandmother surfs faster than Fanning, and she died last year.
So what? Yost died yesterday.
Who's that wetsuit for? It's for me.
Hmm.
Surfing in drag is a little rough on your nuts.
No, she asked me to look for one for her too my girlfriend.
Is that what you call your hand your girlfriend? I guess it's a slow day for train wrecks, right? You pieces of shit.
- You fucking newspaper assholes.
- It's my camera, lady.
I'll give you your camera and you take it outside! How are you feeling, Shaun? How's your neck? Get out of here, you piece of shit.
Fuck out! Get the fuck out! Ooh, Miracle Boy said "shit.
" You get the hell out of here too.
Look at the mess you made.
What'd I do? Stupid fuckers.
Hey.
Fuck me.
Jesus, what happened? It's not that bad.
I'm going to get you some help.
I'm going to my truck.
It's just up here it's not just up here, but I'll be back in just a minute.
I promise I'll be back for you.
Hey, I'm in my underwear, and I don't want any magazines.
It's me, Bill.
That's Butch.
- Are you in trouble? - No.
Well, my testicles are on display to the neighborhood.
Get in here.
That guy John is missing, my surf student from Cincinnati.
Where's your son? He was surfing with Sammy and them, my mom said.
In relation to that guy going missing, when is the last time you saw Shaun? - Last night.
- It's Kai, Cissy.
If you haven't noticed, I'm late for work.
I hear Shaunie got wet this morning, he get any good ones? She's got a couple of brains what's she doing with you? Anyways, I'm helping Butchie look for his loopy friend.
At the shop Shaunie? Not abducted; that was my concern.
Now this John who is missing and not a pervert what do you know about him? He's got a credit card with his name on it.
Yeah, "John Monad.
" You found no occasion to garner further information from other I.
D? Well, I asked him straight out, Bill, and he says, "I don't know, Butchie, instead.
" Well, that would raise the question of mental health.
Should we notify the cops he's lost? Huh? You got a photograph? Uh, no.
Anyways, they won't list him for 24 hours.
I'll give them an informal heads-upping, not that they pay attention to me anyway.
Okay.
Thanks, Bill.
It's his attitude anyways he's going to end up on the wrong end of a nightstick.
"I got my eye on you.
" See you, Bill.
- Whoa, what's your goddamn hurry? - We gotta go look for John.
What do I look like, an information booth bolted to the floor? - Am I a recent amputee? - Do you want to go look with us? How is that going to augment the effectiveness? We divide the community into quadrants.
Good.
Great.
That way Bill can't hit us.
Sarcastic that's how he got so successful.
Okay, going out to help these two.
Something new every day.
Closed.
The Alternative "Apocathary"? Apothecary, and they're pretty casual about their business hours.
What do you think about my levitation? I don't know what to think like always.
You know, you feel over the years I don't know that maybe something about you is special.
And you assume, I guess, that the thing that's special has to do with what you're good at.
Surfing.
And now maybe it turns out I go up in the air, Shaun heals, and maybe all along this feeling of being special wasn't about athletics or years of spiritual discipline.
Maybe it's about family.
Do you want to stay here, Mitch? You see what I'm saying though? - Yeah, I do.
- No, right? I mean, - I go up in the air.
- Shaunie heals, yeah, I know.
And the joker in the deck is this John.
- Butchie's friend.
- What's his connection to the family? 'Cause whenever I see him he looks at me like he knows something about me that I haven't even known myself.
He sure is an amazing surfer.
How would you know that? Don't get a restraining order or anything, but I have been watching you.
A couple of days ago? Oh, yeah, when you were watching me.
Maybe it is about how I surf and Shaun being my grandson.
I'd like to stay here, I think.
I mean just till we get this all kind of figured out.
I don't mean every single night.
I wonder if the store's open yet where you get your poultice? I'm sorry about the bumps.
I'm sorry I can't help.
Pull over, Joe.
Joe, pull over.
You can help.
Good afternoon.
Uh hello.
Those are beautiful roses.
You want a catalog? - A Cadillac? - Yes.
Sometimes I've - oh, a "catalog.
" - Yes.
Yes, of course, I would thank you.
Eh is this the way to the Snug Harbor Motel? Yes.
That's where I'm going.
Gonna look in on Butchie Yost.
I'm a physician.
He have some festering implants.
Thank you for this.
I'll fill this out.
I'm sure there's some wonderful products in here.
- Those are beautiful roses.
- Thank you.
I guess I'll wait here.
If he comes by the surf shop, I'll call you right away.
- You're gonna go over there? - Only six hours late to work.
Well, no, good.
You know, in case he shows up.
You know, I'll catch you later.
Thanks for walking with me.
Well, thanks for the peck.
I know, right? What the fuck was that about? Abogado Dickstein.
How are things, Ramon? What's going on in the world? Butchie's in his place with that blond.
Previously they were looking for his surf student.
Then the Hawaiians over there are working on their tan.
Some day yesterday.
And how.
Yesterday was a three-ring circus.
Here's that physician.
The physician.
Forget something, Doc? I left my dignity.
I was wondering if Butchie had come back.
He got company now a young lady.
Ahh.
'Scuse me.
El jefe.
Good day.
Mr.
Cunningham the new owner of the motel.
Ah.
As I risk repeating.
Doc, how are you? Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
I'd like for us all to work together, and I've blurted it out, and I'm glad.
The name's Palaka, Doc.
No reason that you'd realize, but last night you were talking to Butchie; I was under that half-pipe.
You want me to examine your wrist? Oh, do you do informal diagnosises? I thought you already employed us.
Let's consider we're permanently associated.
Oh, is that too overtly gay? What association do you envision? Oh, a working business partnership.
I'm referring to the phrasing of the offer.
Butchie Yost? In his room.
Apprising him on the results of a search.
No cell phone.
I suppose you got to explain that, these days.
I could give less of a shit.
He's with that strange-haired girl.
Doing what? How the fuck would I know? - Earache ringing.
- Getting back to the wrist, you really should have this X-rayed and set.
Well, I should file tax returns too, Doc.
The government, all these years What is this nonsense now? Excuse me.
I fucking touched him and he fucking healed.
I'm a physician.
What's the problem? No problem, medic.
Let him make a fool out of you.
Don't move him.
Put him down.
He ain't fucking hurt.
You helped me, Joe.
Now you keep mouthing off like that, frat boy, and I'm liable to knock you out.
- Do you feel any pain? - I don't feel any pain.
It's bullshit, right? It's a healed wound with fresh blood.
I don't know what it is.
Phonied-up gag.
It's a bunch of goddamn nonsense.
Well, whatever's happened, you seem to be all right now.
Well, I guess it's time to identify which warped rear-echelon asshole at the V.
F.
W.
Bar where I drink thought something I confided about events in-country was worth abuse for the sake of a fucking chuckle! You didn't leave me behind, Joe.
Now you listen to me, frat boy.
You're gonna tell me who it was, and then I am jumping in that van and driving to that gin mill and I am gonna do some damage.
Tomorrow is another day.
I'm undertaking inquiries tomorrow.
You can guarantee that goddamn much.
Oh God, I'm sorry, Kai, but I haven't been high in three days.
I'll get hard over mud.
- Butchie? - What? Let's go to my place.
Anything could be growing in those sheets.
Bill Jacks! Coming, Bill.
We just completed our quadrants.
Safe I- Got-My-Eye-On-You.
- Great.
- Where was he? My God, you have an erection.
He's right outside.
Jesus Christ.
I want to bring down the hammer back at your place.
What if it's now or never? We'll go see how he's doing.
Yeah, maybe he's having fun with whoever he's with.
Let me just fix this unsightly bulge.
So every collar you took in Hawaii there, that smart mouth buy you a beating? Nuh-uh, you boys were too eager to earn.
Bill's not Freddy's first "Bill.
" See, I was never that type.
That's how you got your Rolls Royce.
Stay with the truck, I'm free to beat humps like you.
Freddy's not Bill's first "Freddy.
" You're in the right place, Doc.
So you say.
Tomorrow is another day.
I suppose I could take tonight to fill out this catalog.
Put that in a "P.
S.
" What the hell happened to you, Monad? - He's all right.
- Well, his clothes are sure fucked up.
"That's how we do it in I.
B.
" I got my eye on you, Bill.
We've got all three rings working now.
Check out the Porsche.
That chick works for Linc.
She was looking to slap it on your dad.
Cass needs a place to work.
What the fuck? Is she slapping it on him too? Look at my man John.
Styling and profiling, baby.
- I guess I'll say goodbye.
- Okay, Doc.
How's the implants? Yeah, good.
No heat or smoke all day.
We got a position for a house physician? Vroom-vroom.
I'll stop by and see you tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll spend the night hoping somebody don't cut in front of me.
Butchie wants to bring down the hammer.
Do you mind, John? - I do mind.
- Nah, he doesn't mean it.
Get rid of the unsightly bulge.
The Yost Surfing School: 24 hours I will have you in the water or in some pussy.
The Alternative Apothecary has this lending library.
- Light reading.
- Sweet.
"Levitation for the Illuminated.
" But you know, I don't think you should stay here.
Sure.
Why? He needs a place to stay.
He's all right.
Yeah, he looks great.
I'll be right back.
The joker in the deck.
I'd better have a good health plan.
Do you need to stand aside for me to pass, or are you you just going to part like the Red Sea? I'll spare you the candles, but you can't say the music blows.
Deal.
And no fucking laughing, Butchie.
Come on, Kai.
Was this playing the first time I threw up on you? It was playing at our junior prom.
I missed our junior prom.
Yeah.
And no freaking out about my piercings.
You're kidding, right? Knowing about them is one thing, seeing them is different.
No freaking out.
All my ladies set off the airport metal detectors or they're not my ladies long.
And let me say this: With the compact metal detector right here in my tongue, I will find everywhere your metal may be hid.
Barry White is in the house.
I threw Mitch out.
Good thinking.
You know you're fucking fired, right? I mean, you're not that bone-fucking-stupid to think I would keep you on the payroll.
What guts.
What honesty, what intelligence, without the vaguest idea of what is happening.
Being sure, it means you need to be broke.
A couple of strange things happen, you decide God's taking over for Santa, deciding who's naughty and nice.
He's firing up that coal log to burn the naughty in hell.
Shall we try it again? Through the door? I'll work over here, John.
And then you'll sleep over here while I sleep on the bed.
Will you mind sleeping on the floor here? See God, Kai.
"Cass.
" See God, Cass.
What do you mean? Work over there.
Sweet enough look to his mug, I- Got-My-Eye-On-You, when he restrains himself from running his mouth.
Far as him being stabbed, I'm not doubting it could've been a hoax.
I don't subscribe it definitely was being I and a bird of my acquaintance know a boy who survived fatal injury, following the bird's own resurrection.
Sole change from what I said to you previous, Zip: Last overlap between me and the Yosts, Butchie asking my help with that search.
A "P.
S.
," my assistance an end to the concluding chapter, the final completion and finish.
That is senseless and offensive.
I deal with that shitbird only to put him in bracelets, and I'm surprised you'd need me to say so.
Is what you envision relative to those people I balance the Hawaiian's bad influence? Well, that, Zip, would outstrip by a full triple-somersault every previous unlikely set of circumstances.
Yeah.
Otherwise I'd have a moment's peace to myself.
Cup of joe Winchell's assorted dozen.
Where's the dwarf with the dangling arm? He's in our shared bathroom.
I'm here on orders from my bird.
If you're waiting for me to ask you what you're talking about, plan on falling over dead before I do.
My bird Zippy conveyed to me, despite the obvious dissimilarities between us, we become friends.
He used the word "dissimilarities"? He conveyed.
He conveyed - I never said he spoke.
- Oh.
Not that what else he can do, he couldn't speak if he wanted to, and do knitting to keep himself busy.
Maybe he conveyed to make friends with a different Freddy, your telepathic bird.
You'd think that, you degenerate nitwit.
What, is there a room of Freddys somewheres around here? - What's that, a Mustang pulled in here? - Yeah.
The make of the car is what I'm paying attention to.
I'm looking for Butchie Yost.
I'm him if he don't owe you money.
He's not him.
Butchie's not here.
You care to leave a message? On my face? With your ass? Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ! What my bird was thinking to dispatch me to you, I haven't the vaguest goddamn idea.
I got a lizard back home, changes shapes.
Chameleons, they call them.