Justice League (2001) s01e16 Episode Script

Legends (1)

[people screaming.]
Hee-ya! Who could be behind a monstrosity like that? Aah! You're only getting one shot, Batman! Now! Aah! [alarm sounds.]
Good lord! Aah! [moaning and grunting.]
Did we win? I'm not sure.
Superman? Batman? Where'd they go? Perhaps I can contact them.
Wait.
Aah! Easy, big guy.
You all right? Forgive me.
I'm fine.
The others can't have gone far.
Let's fan out and find them.
Something's not right here.
Looking swell, sweetheart.
Hee hee! Definitely not right.
[ice cream truck music.]
I haven't seen a truck like that since I was a kid.
Weird.
Do you suppose we got blasted into the past? Nope, the date's right-- but look.
Seaboard City? Where the heck is that? [bell ringing.]
Priceless.
[Sirens.]
Music Master, Put up your hands and drop the Stradivarius! Sorry, sergeant, I don't take requests.
[plays accordion.]
Aah! Aah! Ha ha ha ha! Green Lantern: Not so fast! Your disguise can't fool me, Green Guardsman.
Green Guardsman? It's still the same old song.
Aah! [tires squeal.]
[gasps.]
Curses.
Who was that guy? Didn't recognize him.
Did you hear what he called me? Yeah-- Green Guardsman? What's up with that? Man: Perhaps you haven't heard, But in Seaboard City Crime doesn't pay.
Hey, you've got the wrong-- unh! You've just made a big mistake! Man: No, you did When you chose to break the law.
Aah! It seems we are not in metropolis anymore.
Yeah, I got that.
[crash.]
It can't be.
Surrender, villains! Whoever you are, you're no Green Lantern.
Aah! Huh? Hang on, Hawkgirl! You're quick, son, But villainy can never outrun justice.
Whoo-hoo! Go, Streak, go! Wham! Pow! Give it to him, Green Guardsman! Whoa! Haaa! Stand down! All of you, stand down! No one who would risk his own life To save another could be evil.
I think perhaps our two teams should talk.
Please, make yourselves at home.
Classy.
Allow us to introduce ourselves.
Justice Guild, roll call! Cat man! Black Siren! Green Guardsman! Tom Turbine.
The Streak.
Uh, yeah, I'm Green Lantern.
That's Flash, Hawkgirl, and J’onn J’onzz.
Streak: And this is our official Justice Guild junior Justice Guildsman, Ray Thompson.
When I grow up, I'm gonna be a crime fighter.
So long as you remember To eat right and stay in school.
Ha ha! Right.
[moaning.]
J'onn, what's wrong? [gasping.]
A sudden dizziness-- so strange.
Nothing at all, cold glass of milk won't cure.
I think I have some freshly baked cookies, too.
Let's let the men talk.
They can talk all they like.
Could you excuse us for a sec? I will not be patronized.
We need answers here.
So maybe, just this once, We can all play along.
So, you fight crime and bake cookies, How do you do it? This can't be real.
Ha ha! Tell me about it.
I almost busted a gut during that roll call routine.
It's not that.
It's the Justice Guild.
They're comic book characters.
What? When I was a kid, My uncle James had the biggest comic book collection I'd ever seen.
I'd go to his house every day after school, And we'd read old comics all afternoon.
So? - So The Streak, Tom Turbine, Green Guardsman-- They were the stars of my favorite comic book-- The Justice Guild of America.
This is too weird.
I know it sounds corny, but Those comics taught me what it meant to be a hero.
Without them Well, maybe I wouldn't have this ring today.
Ok.
Hey, cookie.
One word, and you'll be the fastest man alive with a limp.
Music Master: We face a new threat.
They wore different costumes, But they had the same amazing powers As our sworn enemies, The Streak and Green Guardsman.
Fiddle sticks! The Justice Guild foiled your crime, And rather than admit you dropped the ball, You blame these phantom heroes.
Cool it, sportsman! You want a piece of me, Doctor Blizzard? Huh? Enough squabbling.
I propose a contest-- no, a wager.
A bet? I'm game.
Each of us will see who can pull off the most spectacular crime.
The winner will earn the honor of devising a plan To destroy the Justice Guild In addition to making these new heroes disappear Forever.
Tom Turbine: I have a theory on how you came to be here.
As an expert in nuclear physics, I have long hypothesized that there are An infinite number of parallel dimensions, Each containing its own planet Earth.
Each Earth occupies the same location in space But vibrates at a different speed.
Flash, the energy blast you absorbed Caused you to match the vibration rate of our Earth.
So he created a tear In the dimensional barriers, Which brought us here.
Hey, it was an accident, ok? But this still doesn't explain The Justice Guild comics I read when I was a kid.
J'onn: Perhaps the creators of those comics Had a subconscious link to this Earth.
What they thought was merely imagination Was a psychic memory of the Justice Guild's real exploits.
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Fascinating.
But how do we get back to our world? I've been tinkering with a prototype trans-dimensional gateway.
Flash: Cool.
How does it work? Unfortunately, I haven't been able to harness A suitable energy source to power it.
Hawkgirl: I guess you're going to be stuck with us for a while.
Don't worry, friends, I will toil night and day Until I discover a way to get you home.
In the meantime, how about coffee and dessert? Black Siren? Right, chief.
Hawkgirl? I am not getting dessert.
[doorbell.]
Saved by the bell.
Sergeant O’Shaughnessy, to what do we owe this honor? Sorry to drop by unannounced, But we received this letter down at the precinct.
I rushed it over here as fast as I could.
Not as fast as yourself, of course.
Well, for someone without superhuman speed, You did just fine, sergeant, thanks.
Jeepers, what does it say? "to the Justice Guild, "prepare for our most fiendish plot of all-- "a crime spree based on the 4 elements of the ancient world: "fire, air, water, and Earth.
"catch us if you can.
Dastardly yours, the Injustice Guild.
" What kind of criminals tip off the authorities? Green Guardsman: The worst kind.
I doubt there's enough good between the 4 of them To care for a wounded puppy.
Justice League, we need your help.
You can count on us.
Ray, the decoder rings.
We don't have time to induct you with a formal ceremony, But consider yourselves honorary members of the Justice Guild.
I don't believe it.
You could order rings just like these Off the back of the old comic books.
Nice plastic.
We should split into teams If we're to have any hope of defeating the Injustice Guild.
Let's just go with the person on our left.
So I guess it's you and me, huh? Can I come? Can I? Can I? I would hesitate to put the boy in harm's way.
Sure thing, little buddy! Oh, boy! I'll remain here and work on The trans-dimensional gateway.
Getting your home is of equal importance.
Thanks.
Ladies first.
Right.
Obviously, the clue fire can only mean one thing.
They plan to steal the fabled flame of Rasputin, A precious ruby necklace on loan to the Seaboard City museum.
You know your stuff.
It's an honor to fight beside you.
The feeling's mutual.
You're a credit to your people, son.
Uh, thanks.
Abracadabra.
Streak: Stop! This time we've caught you red-handed.
Indeed.
But I've got one more trick up my sleeve.
Music Master: This calls for a little traveling music.
[music plays.]
Yes! My hunch about the air crime was dead on.
Music Master was after that priceless antique flyer.
I'll stop him.
Huh? Haa! Stop! What are you doing?! We can't destroy that plane! It's an irreplaceable piece of our nation's aviation heritage! Then how do you suggest we stop him? By using our wits.
Citizens of Seaboard City I am proud to unveil this new fountain As a symbol of my commitment To our fair city's future.
Dr.
Blizzard: Freeze! [people screaming.]
If you'll excuse me, Mr.
Mayor, I'll be leaving with my chill-gotten gains.
Ha ha ha ha!! Flash: Chill out, Blizzard! We're putting you on ice.
Forgive me if I give you the cold shoulder.
Look out! Hold still, blast ya! Argh! Exit stage left.
What the A pity he uses his talents for evil Rather than entertain children at birthday parties.
[groaning.]
The trophy for the Seaboard City Clay court tennis championship-- The perfect Earth crime to make me filthy rich.
Uh-oh.
Holy hijacking, cat man! Hang on, Ray! Take the controls! What's this? New player? No matter.
Watch the birdie.
Argh! Game, set, and match.
Go left.
I'll cut him off.
Remember about the plane.
I'll be gentle.
Ha! Badaba to the fat lady.
May she keep on singing.
Green Guardsman: Halt, in the name of justice! What? Haaa! Hey! [screaming.]
Steady the scaffold.
I'll go after the plane.
I can't.
My ring has no power over aluminum.
Terrific.
[rope snaps and man screams.]
Stay here! Time to face the music.
Aah! Oof! Uh! Ooh! Ohh! Ha ha! You can't escape my killing chill.
I'm just getting warmed up.
Huh? Like I said, You never had a snowball's chance in-- [car horn honks.]
Flash, look! [gasping.]
You've gotta be kidding.
Oh! Oh! Whoa, mama! Unh! Flash! Out cold, eh? Black Siren: Aah! It seems I've captured the greatest prize of all.
Thanks.
Think nothing of it.
Aargh! Aah! J'onn! [groans.]
Lost 'em.
"Here lies Scott Mason The Green Guardsman"? No.