Justice League Action (2016) s01e01 Episode Script

Classic Rock (Shazam Slam)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (IN DISTANCE) Get your hands off me, creatures of darkness.
(PANTING) (GASPS) Monsters, come no closer.
Don't worry, I'll protect you from these (SHRIEKING) Monsters.
That's what I just said.
Weren't you listening? (HISSING) - (HISSING) - (GRUNTS) Snack on these.
(GROANING) Mortals! Vlarem! (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) - Huh? - Who are you? Where did those creatures come from? This is no time for chit chat.
The boy is still prisoner! I have to get back to the Rock.
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS) Now, where did I put you? I know you're here somewhere.
BATMAN: Lose something? Maybe I can help you find it.
I haven't lost anything, Batman.
Yes, I know who you are.
And if you had one-tenth of my wisdom, you'd know that wizards don't lose things.
They simply misplace them.
So, you're a wizard? No.
I am the wizard.
I do not require assistance from you or anyone else.
I will find the entrance to the Rock on my own.
Thank you very much.
The wizard looking for the Rock because the boy is a prisoner.
Mmm-hmm, glad we cleared that up.
Why do mortals need everything spelled out for them? Fine, I'll explain why you're wasting my time.
And I won't be repeating myself, so pay attention.
From my throne on the Rock of Eternity, I was champion of the Earthen magic, and guardian to the Plagues of Eternity, as well as various monsters, minor chimera, and the vile Brothers Jin, who ruled the foul and ancient newly-formed Earth.
That is, until he showed up.
Adam, what are you doing here? It's Black Adam now, old man.
And I'm taking your throne.
What's it look like? (GRUNTING) You lost the right to this throne long ago.
Oh, did I forget to say the magic word? I've waited centuries for this and you are all that sits in my way.
We'll see about that.
(CLICKING) Aw, I was just about to level up.
Billy, focus! I need you to say my name and summon your powers.
Yes, Billy, do that.
Shazam! (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) (LAUGHING) It worked! Hey, give that back! (GROANS) Billy! (GROANING) At last, the powers of eternity are mine to command.
Goodbye, old man.
And don't worry, I'll send along some playmates to keep you company.
WIZARD: There you have it.
Adam exiled me to Earth, where grown mortals in bat costumes ask annoying questions all day.
Consider yourself caught up.
Now, leave me alone.
If Black Adam has control of the throne, we have to stop him.
What's all this "we" nonsense? I was in the hero racket before your great, great, hundred-times-great ancestors wore diapers.
I'll be fine on my own.
Once you find your lost entrance.
Stop wasting my time.
The longer I'm away from the throne, the weaker my powers become.
And those monsters are still on my trail.
(HISSING) Can you blast them again? Guess that's a no.
(GASPS) See, told you I'd find it.
And those creatures? They cannot track us here in the void.
But I have no intention of staying put.
Look, the entrance is up ahead.
- I can help you reach it.
- Not interested.
I'll fly over there myself.
Fly over! I said "fly.
" Confound it! I've lost my powers.
What are you doing? Let go! Have you not heard a thing I've said all day? For the last time, I don't need your help.
If you want, I'll drop you off right here.
(WIND WHOOSHING) You know what? I'm good.
(BILLY GRUNTING) Let me go! - Quiet, boy.
- (SNAPS FINGER) (GRUNTING) Silence is all that prevents me from blasting you to oblivion.
That, and I want to see your face as the monsters of eternity wreak havoc upon your world.
- (CRASHING) - (SCREAMING) Wailing and shrieking shall be permitted.
(CHUCKLES) I'm feeling generous.
There it is.
Above the throne.
That's the orb containing my powers.
Once broken, the lightning will be released and Billy transformed.
How do you plan on reaching it? That is an excellent question.
Ugh, who am I kidding? I've been gone from the throne too long.
Never have I felt so powerless.
Batman, I might possibly require some, uh Help.
Your words, not mine.
That's it for appetizers.
On to the main course.
Calythos, Uthool, and the Brothers Jin.
Once free, they will unleash a new era of woe upon the Earth.
(GRUNTING) Stop that this instant! (MOCKING) "Stop that this instant.
" You sound like my teacher.
Then let this be your final lesson.
Something you should have learned a long time ago.
ADAM: What? Go, Batman! (GRUNTING) (GROANS) Hmm.
(GRUNTING) Nice try, old man, but victory is mine.
This is so not good.
It's not over yet, Billy.
My powers can still be summoned.
You just need the strength of mind to free them.
You really think I can do it? Lately, I have learned to put more trust in mortals.
(CRACKLING) Shazam! Enough, boy! I'll silence you once and for all.
Shazam! (GRUNTING) Finally! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) (EXCLAIMS) This isn't over! Oh, sorry! Did I take your seat? - Oh, that whining! - (ADAM SCREAMS) One of the many things I won't miss about you.
Vlarem! (SCREAMING) There! He's been cast to the farthest reaches of the galaxy.
(LAUGHS) That should give us some peace and quiet for the next few centuries.
What about the monsters of eternity? Can I take 'em out? Can I? I mean, can I? Be my guest.
(CHUCKLES) Thank you, Batman.
As painful as this is to admit, I couldn't have done it without your Help.
Your words, not mine.
WARDEN: Glad you got our distress call, Superman.
He's been absorbing cockroaches to get his strength back.
We won't be able to hold him much longer.
(BOTH GRUNT) (GROANS) Perhaps you should stay behind, Warden.
Parasite, you've been a hungry boy.
This appetizer is a step up from prison food.
And now, here you are The main course! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) I heard you could use some pest control.
Superman! Oh, wait, wait, wait! Oh, hold up! JIMMY: Uh, I just need to get some B-roll for the Daily Planet Online, okay? Jimmy, these men have to go.
Right, uh, Ms.
Lane asked me to grab some video of Parasite for her story, and, uh (CHUCKLES) when I say asked, I mean she threatened me.
Thanks, Wonder Woman.
(SIGHS) Poor Parasite.
Poor Parasite? That creature was a superhuman-leech and a dangerous criminal.
Perhaps, Diana.
But he was still a living being.
- And - (HEART BEATING) I hear a heartbeat.
Ah Nothing will stop Calythos now.
Hold it right there.
GUARD: Freeze! Ugh! (BUILDING CRUMBLING) You take care of the prison.
I still need more.
(GRUNTS) Argh! Who dares? No mere man can defy Caly Argh! No "man" does.
But Wonder Woman dares to do anything.
(EXCLAIMS) (CALYTHOS YELLS) (GRUNTS) This is a disaster! Yeah.
But Great disaster footage equals 10 million more hits online.
Hello, big time! This shot has viral written all over it (SCREAMS) What am I doing? Risking my life for fleeting online fame? (DEVICE BEEPS) Yep, totally worth it.
Well, since you asked so nicely (CALYTHOS GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) You may be a hideous troll, monster, but I'll say this for you.
You can really take a hit! Keep it coming, Princess.
There's a spot you missed.
(LAUGHS) Ha! (GRUNTS) (WOMAN SCREAMING) My Golden Lariat can force you to speak only the truth.
Now, who are you and what are you doing here? I'll tell you nothing! (SPEAKING FAST) I am Calythos of the Brothers Djinn.
My scimitar will raise a volcano, burying everything in its path in magma, restoring this world to its pre-human glory starting with Metropolis.
Uh? You'll have to get through the Justice League.
(CACKLES) I accept your challenge.
Every punch I landed only made him stronger.
Let's see him try that with me.
You fly.
I do now.
I'm learning all sorts of new tricks.
What's this? Heat vision? I love it.
I believe I'll take it! (GROANS) Naughty children shouldn't play with sharp objects.
(GROANS) My sword! - (GLOBE CLANGS) - Ugh! (GROANS) That thing may not look like much, but for once, even I'm getting tired.
It's more than exhaustion.
I can't fly anymore.
I can barely leap these buildings in a single bound.
What's he doing to us? (PANTS) That was a lot of steps.
Oh, man, I really need to up my cardio.
Whoa, it's Parasite.
He's in that guy.
That's how he's getting your powers.
WONDER WOMAN: So, he wasn't crushed after all.
He was absorbed.
He was targeting Parasite.
Combined with this Djinn, I like him even less now.
Whoa! What is that? SUPERMAN: Looks like our friend is doing a little re-decorating.
Not for long.
Wait, Wonder Woman.
We may need a strategy.
Or an ally.
Once I cleanse this world, my brothers will seize it.
(LAUGHS) Nothing can stop us.
You may have stolen our powers But a warrior relies on their heart.
And experience.
But I can drain you of your strategies as well.
Everything that makes you who you are.
This world is about to be reborn in fire.
J'ONN J'ONZZ: I'm afraid you are mistaken.
I can hear your very heartbeat.
How long can you hope to evade me? I have no interest in evading you.
I am only interested in your inevitable defeat.
And what good are you against one with the combined powers of Superman and Wonder Woman? We shall see.
J'ONN J'ONZZ: Or rather you won't see.
(GROANS) That is my attempt at humor.
What did you think? You touched me.
Do it again.
You're a fast learner.
(GROANS) Foolish mortals.
By bringing me yet another being to drain, you've made me more powerful than even I have ever dreamed.
(PANTING) (SCREAMING) Something's wrong! The flames! The heat! Get it away! When you absorbed the Martian's strength, you also absorbed his weakness.
Specifically, my allergy to fire.
Your what? But I am a child of fire.
Unfortunate for you.
(WHIMPERING) Make it stop! Make it stop! (GROWLS) That's it, Parasite.
Nice and easy.
No doubt that Djinn is one of the escapees from the Rock of Eternity.
If we only knew more about the others.
J'ONN J'ONZZ: There are four more.
Uthool, Abnegazar, Rath and Nyorlath.
I read his mind.
At least we pulled the plug on this thing.
This is one cool volcano.
My attempt at humor.
How did I do? I'm the wrong one to ask.
WONDER WOMAN: Now we just have to capture the other four Djinn.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) (TIRES SQUEALING) It's another Djinn creature in disguise.
The wizard Shazam warned us of this.
Keep your distance.
The last one we confronted drained our powers.
He's welcome to try.
- (ROARS) - (BRAKES SCREECHING) You need to be careful.
I need to get this thing off the streets, and back to the Rock of Eternity.
Which is why I'm sending backup.
I don't need backup.
Sorry, you're You're cutting out - I don't need - (GRUNTS) (SNARLS) How do you like that move? I have the agility of a cat.
Cats land on their feet.
(GROANS) Aw, come on! I'm your backup.
(GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) Don't worry, Bats.
I got him.
That's enough running for one night.
(GRUNTING) Nice try.
But I don't have any powers for you to leech off of.
Powers? You must have me confused with my brother, Calythos.
I am Uthool.
I do something else.
I don't care.
(GRUNTS) (THUNDER RUMBLES) Bats, that you? Of course it's me.
Where's the other guy? The, uh How do you say it? The Djinn.
He turned to dust when I attacked him.
They're clearly incredibly powerful beings.
What? Did he say that or are you just inferring? GREEN ARROW: Are you still mad? I knew it.
You are still mad about the whole landing on the hood thing.
Ah, come on.
If I left any scratches, I'll buff them out.
Or at least, you know, pay someone else to do it.
I know it's generous.
But we're both in the billionaire masked-vigilante making-the-world-a-better-place game.
So I figure Ow! (THUNDER RUMBLES) Good, you're back.
Where's Green Arrow? I dropped him off.
The Djinn is gone.
We don't have to worry about them anymore.
Are you kidding? These things are a real threat.
I double-checked with Olympus and it's true.
They lived here long ago.
Seems their goal is to crack open the Earth and revert it to its primordial state so they can rule here.
Ah, I'm surprised you know so much already.
Batman, that was your theory.
I meant to say, I'm surprised how quickly you people were able to confirm my hypothesis.
Anyway, excuse me.
I've been meaning to check the Hall's energy core.
- Did you see that smile? - Creepy.
You're not getting away this time.
Come on, B-man.
Time for our weekly practice fight.
Open the door.
No can do, bro.
Workout time.
You know the drill.
Only one of us walks out.
(GROANS) Today, I'm going for the gold.
You get it? Booster Gold.
(GROANS) I got one! I just flipped Batman! Booster, one.
The big bad Batman, a zero! (GROANS) Okay, fair hit.
Just give me a second to catch my No! Oh, that's a good one, bro.
That was our best match yet.
Uh How do you do it? Because I am Batman.
That's why.
You are not Batman! Try me.
I was watching the security monitors.
And I saw you get flipped by Booster Gold.
What really gave it away was your creepy grin.
(EXCLAIMING) You can't avoid me forever.
I don't have to.
Nice try, imposter.
But this game ends now.
(GROANS) I am Uthool of the Djinn.
And I know all about the power of this lasso.
You won't have the upper hand for long, Uthool.
Any one Justice League hero could wipe the floor with you and there are a lot of heroes in this Hall.
Boo-ya! Fixed it so good, it'll last a thousand years! Hey, Batman.
The power couplers were pulsing out of sync, so I figured I'd reroute the matrix.
You missed a power coupling.
- I did? Where? - Here.
(GROANING) AUTOMATED VOICE: Core temperature approaching critical mass.
That's right.
I need this core to explode and shatter the Earth's mantle, in order to bring the underworld to the surface.
Not tonight, bad boy.
By the way, you owe me a new suit and taxi fare.
You know what? Forget the fare.
I don't know who you are, but you're through.
You have no clue how wrong you are, mortal.
(SNARLING) Uthool will crush you beneath his heel.
Get Cyborg and get clear.
- I'll handle this.
- Yeah.
No problem.
(GROANS) Time to go, tin man.
Two's company.
(GROANS) Stay down.
I don't want to hurt you.
There's a difference, super-fool.
I can't wait to hurt you.
He got lucky with that one.
There was something different about that sparring session.
Access files.
Ready, Bats? You'd better be ready, 'cause All right.
This time I'm ready for This time the Dark Knight's going down (GROANS) Yes! Something was definitely different.
WONDER WOMAN: This time it took him more than one punch.
No, no, no.
What are you doing there? Getting ready to pulverize that bogus Batman.
As soon as you untie me.
That gives me an idea.
The humans' days on this planet are numbered, Superman.
Earth belongs to the Djinn once again.
Uthool! You forgot something.
Thought you might need it.
(MOANS) You cannot beat me.
I am Uth I was sick of hearing that name.
CYBORG: I cannot believe the Hall of Justice is gone! The Hall was always a little too close to Metropolis for me.
Perhaps a new headquarters would be for the best then.
I agree.
But we'll have to stay in close contact until then.
By my count, there are at least three more Djinn to capture.
(GROANING) All right, Batman.
Best two out of three? Hey, who broke the Hall of Justice? Better question.
Where are we sleeping tonight? Ooh Batcave? Guys, they're getting further.
We should call more Leaguers for help.
There's no time.
The Brothers Djinn must not be allowed to enter that volcano.
Rath, Nyorlath.
Look, look, look! Let them come, Abnegazar.
I'll pound them to a powerless pulp.
Don't waste your time, brother.
There's a spell for that.
Wonder Woman, Superman (CASTS SPELL) (ALL EXCLAIM) WONDER WOMAN: We've lost our powers.
Hang on! (THUDDING) (ALL GROANING) (GROWLING) (BEEPING) What happened to our powers? They can't be using Parasite, we have him in custody.
There are other ways.
A secret, known only to us.
(LAUGHING) It's your names, we say your names.
(LAUGHS) Really? (RUMBLING) (YELLS) Come on, Yanks.
In we go! (GRUMBLES) Well, that was a googly wicked duck and dive.
Sorry, what? Constantine was hit by an accent-exaggerator spell while fighting a warlock last week.
He responded to my distress signal.
John, I'm guessing you brought us to your House of Mystery.
Spot on.
That's using the old loaf, mutton jugs.
He said, "Yes.
" And you're not the only ones.
Green Arrow, Swamp Thing.
- (SCREAMS) - (ROARING) (PANTING) And Plastic Man.
For future reference, the bathroom is definitely not down the hall to the left.
Constantine summoned us here and explained the situation.
At least, I think he did.
BATMAN: Perhaps I should clarify.
If the Brothers Djinn reach the center of that volcano, their incantation will reopen Calythos' fissure.
To what end, we still don't know.
Looks like our powers are back.
I say, we go at 'em with everything we've got.
Let's not forget.
The Brothers can remove our powers just by saying our names.
Actually, I have a way to avoid that.
I'm almost afraid to ask.
Whoa! (SIGHS) Not one word! Oh, yeah.
This will totally work.
Right, I better bring backup just in case.
Good luck with your Plan.
Was that sarcasm? I never can tell with him.
Look, look, look.
(CASTING SPELL) Oi! What did we say about starting without us? Um, not to do that? Exactly! It's more brotherly to welcome the forecoming destruction together.
(ALL INCANTING) (WHOOSHING) They're back! Gluttons for punishment is what they are.
This time, we take away their powers and their lives.
Superman, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman, Swamp Thing, Plastic Man (ALL CASTING SPELL) Anyone feel different? I'm starting to get used to the shoes.
Is that weird? They still have their powers.
(NECK CRACKS) (GROANING) Aah! (GROANING) They won't be frank or patting liars, I'm the rudge.
(RUMBLING) We're too late.
They already opened the fissure.
Scarper, me treacles.
That's Black Adam, that is.
But Batman said the Wizard hurled him into the prehistoric past.
Yes, being imprisoned in the Earth's core gave me the time I needed to beef up my skills.
And now, it's play time.
(ALL GRUNTING) You can't leave yet.
The fun is just beginning.
(GROANS) (GRUNTS) All of you will bear witness as I bend this miserable planet to my will.
BATMAN: Sounds like a horrible idea.
What? Even worse than switching costumes.
It worked for a bit.
Here's your backup.
Oh, no.
Not you again.
It's a kid? That's our last line of defense? Woo-hoo! Shazam! (GRUNTING) Oh, okay! You can't beat me this time.
My magic has grown twice as strong since my recent imprisonment.
I know you are but what am I? I don't think he's using that right.
(SNARLS) BLACK ADAM: It's useless to resist, boy.
You cannot defeat me.
Maybe I can't.
But I bet you we can! Get them! (ROARING) (GROWLING) Just how I like my ghouls, well done.
Aperite oculi! Heads up, Yanks! Hurl the muddy grubbers into the birdy lime.
This time I get it.
(WONDER WOMAN GRUNTING) (ROARS) (GROANS) Time to give him the old Goliath treatment, Swampy.
(SIGHS) (GRUNTING) (LAUGHS) Time to bring the thunder.
Justice League, action! (STRAINING) (YELLS) Top end Jackanory, that was.
We'll be telling porkies of that rubadub till we're brown in the bread.
You said it, John.
Where did that portal send them, exactly? To the diver, old boat.
Those rubble thruppenies will be piping the eyes till last days are dawning.
Ta-ra, Yanks.
- So, where did he send them? - I have no idea.
It was so cool to hang out with you guys today.
I have all your trading cards.
Ha, it's we who owe you a debt of thanks, young man.
Kid, I think you'll fit right in with this team.
Wow! Does this mean I can (CLEARS THROAT) Be in the Justice League? As long as it's not a school night, we're happy to have your help.
And we're gonna need a new location for our headquarters.
A place to help keep an eye on the world.
What, here? A new Hall of Justice? A watchtower! (ALL CLAPPING) Are you still wearing my boots? PLASTIC MAN: They're comfortable!