Justice League Action (2016) s01e39 Episode Script

The Brain Buster

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Check, check and checkmate.
Luthor, Lex.
Positive match.
LEX: This better be good.
I'm playing myself.
And winning! ROBOT: You will come with me.
Well, since you asked so nicely I'm intrigued.
(LASERS FIRING) MICHAEL: That's how Luthor escaped.
This the third abduction in 24 hours.
Same MO.
It also made off with the Brain and the Calculator.
- LEX: Hey what are you No! - Why? What's the connection? Each is brilliant in his own right.
Maybe Darkseid stumbled across a really tough sudoku.
I don't know.
As the third smartest person in the world, I hoped you'd be more helpful.
Conjecture without data is guessing.
And as for those world's smartest lists, they're never accurate.
- (ALARM BUZZING) - Saved by the bell.
It's time to T-up.
Batman, Mr.
Terrific, positive match.
You will come with me.
BATMAN: It's trying to capture us as well.
- (LASERS FIRING) - Only one way to find out.
Looks like I was right again.
CALCULATOR: Yeah, well even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Ooh, good one, meat-sack.
- Least I can do this.
- (BLOWING RASPBERRIES) LEX: Enough! Could this gathering get any worse? I spoke too soon.
Someone took great lengths to get us all here.
But why? I suspected it had to do with IQ's until you two showed up.
VOICE: IQ has everything to do with it.
As five of the most brilliant minds on Earth, you have been selected to compete in my brain games.
(SCOFFS) Lex Luthor doesn't lower himself to compete with rabble.
VOICE: I've prepared a series of competitions, devised to test your intellectual limitations.
Only the most brilliant of you will survive to win the prize.
And if we don't play along? Simple, you'll be obliterated.
So, participating is a no-brainer.
Hope the challenges will be smarter than your jokes.
Enough impertinence.
We begin.
Let's start with something remedial.
A race.
THE BRAIN: There are no pedals.
How do you expect us to race? VOICE: I'll give you fuel, for your mind.
On each of your dashboards, is a sphere with colored lights.
Arrange those into a shape that's optically pleasing.
And you're ready to roll.
(BEEPING) VOICE: Well done.
You're all as smart as I'd hoped.
I'm certain you've all also ascertained that the last one to cross the finish line will be eliminated.
Time to go into overdrive.
(BEAM FIRING) I'll get him.
CALCULATOR: Out of my way, jar head.
I think you're past your sell date.
THE BRAIN: Neanderthal.
(SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) What? You know what I'm thinking? That yee-haw strategy.
What's the relative gravity on this planet? THE BRAIN: Looks as if you'll be eliminated first, Batman, and good riddance.
He said last to finish.
He didn't say it had to be in a car.
Okay, then, T-minus three, two MR.
TERRIFIC: Yee-haw! What? Impossible! (LASER FIRING) (SCREAMS) THE BRAIN: Robbed.
I was robbed! Shocking, but not lethal.
It's only fair that losers first suffer a period of humiliation.
Enough gloating.
Get to the second test.
VOICE: Seems our third place winner is anxious to prove his worth.
- Fine.
- (THUNDER CRACKLES) Let's accelerate the process then.
The first two who make it to the red platforms win.
The two who don't, lose.
What is this? A trick? Ha! It's there.
They're moving in a pattern.
I see it.
- CALCULATOR: Not this time, Dark Knight.
(GRUNTS) Turned about is fair play, Luthor.
And I'm all about fair play.
VOICE: Hurry now.
Only one of you can win.
Terrific, no! - (LASERS FIRING) - VOICE: Disqualified! Ha! The world's third smartest man just outsmarted himself.
VOICE: We have our finalists.
On to our final round.
Chess! Oh, Batman, I haven't lost a chess match in Well, come to think of it.
I've never lost one.
(LASERS FIRING) VOICE: For every second you take to move, my drone fires a shot.
So much more effective than a chess clock.
Okay, sphere, let's unmask.
Now hack this baby nice and quiet-like.
(GRUNTS) Pardon me.
That's cheating.
A win is still a win.
Check mate.
(GRUNTS) VOICE: Congratulations, Lex Luthor.
Your ingenuity and resourcefulness have won the day.
You are the smartest of the smart.
I could've told you that.
VOICE: Now, you get your prize.
(RUMBLING) What is this? Release me! Mr.
I should've smelled your tiny slug trail from the start.
You see? I have always been underestimated because of my size.
But now, my presence will be as big as my greatness.
(SCREAMS) With these helmets, I'll install my powerful brain into your full-sized body.
I'll have your added IQ as a bonus.
(SCREAMS) - Huh? - (SIGHS) Terrific.
Hate to break up to this meeting of the minds.
Destroy him! See once I hacked your system, I did what anyone would do.
TERRIFIC: I freed Batman.
(WHIMPERS) What? You were toying with me? You are a pawn I sacrificed, Luthor.
I knew Terrific had a plan.
Even if I didn't know what it was.
Obviously, he wouldn't try to win the brain games.
First prize was destruction.
You surprise me, Mr.
I didn't expect you to be victorious.
After all, you're only the third on the smartest person list.
Well, I prefer not to draw too much attention to myself.
Who do you think wrote that list?