Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017) s01e14 Episode Script
Old Friends
1 Previously on "Kevin (Probably) Saves the World" I'm a messenger from God.
The only job you have in life is to build up your spiritual powers through acts of kindness and selflessness.
I have something to show you.
- I thought we were impervious.
- Oh.
We're not gonna do this again, right? You know, I always thought you guys would get back together someday.
My lady from Laos, we've been in communicado.
- What? - The e-mails were from me.
I was trying to let you have closure.
Now I don't have to waste my time with someone who's clearly not my friend.
I'm sorry that I ate your brother, Mr.
Toast.
But now it's time for you to join him.
Did you get any yogurt at the store? Yes, I did.
I got the honey kind.
But you know what? You're gonna have to eat it in the car because I am so, so, so, so late for an early-morning meeting.
Kevin.
[CHUCKLES.]
Can you please stop leaving your shoes in the middle of the floor? It just drives me crazy.
All over it.
Hey, you know how you do that thing where you help, like, random strangers? Oh, that? Yeah.
Honestly, I do it so often I barely even think about it.
It's almost like second nature.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, I was just I was wondering maybe Do you think that you might be able to help me? Leaves.
She wants me to rake leaves.
What a waste of my talents.
Our talents.
Yeah, I'm gonna sit.
Keep raking.
Oh, good.
I still have time to stop off at Tyler's - before I teach this afternoon.
- Kill him with kindness.
Oh, I prefer to think of it as gently smothering him with kindness, but yes.
[WIND BLOWING.]
No.
No! No.
Come on! [SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
You think maybe that was some sort of sign? Are you okay, bud? Yeah, I'm great.
Why? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Hey.
Can I help you? Hey.
I was wandering around town looking for work, thought maybe you'd need some help clearing your leaves.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh.
Uh, no.
I-I-I literally just No.
No, no, no! [GASPS.]
Yes.
Yes.
Whatever you charge, I'm in.
What brings you to Taylor anyway? You got some family stuff going on or Maybe a little long-distance re-laish on the rocks, came to patch things up? No, nothing that interesting.
I'm just driving cross-country looking for a place to call home.
I really only stopped here because I'm having some car troubles.
Car trouble? That's it? Do I need to have more things wrong with me? No.
No.
I It's just, um I usually end up meeting people who have, um, larger issues.
- Well, not me.
- It It's just It's just weird.
Okay.
I'm gonna go see if your neighbors need anything.
Oh, no, no, no.
When Um, the garage needs organizing.
So Seems pretty organized.
It does.
But is it color-coordinated? No, it is not.
And that's where you come in.
Um - Yeah.
Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Awesome.
Okay.
Well, you get started.
I will pay you when I get home.
I'm a very busy guy.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
How can I help you today, Kevin? "Kevin"? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Come on.
What about Kevbo? Keavy D? No, thank you, Kevin.
Tyler, please, I-I was only trying to help when I wrote those e-mails.
And look.
Here.
I brought you an apology.
Look.
It's us.
It says "Friendshrimp is forever.
" Because we were eating shrimp.
And it almost looks like it says "friendship," but it it isn't.
It's a different word.
So, that is for you.
And I actually I-I got two, so we can both have it.
Thanks.
Yep.
Oh, Johnny on the spot! Ee.
Whoo! Olivia Newton-Johnny! Yes! Ah! You been working out? Guys, please.
Okay? I'm Look.
I'm not trying to be a hard-ass here.
I just I believe in you all so much.
But we need to get creative with our answers, okay? Let's think Outside the box.
Because if we're not thinking outside the box, - we're trapped - Good afternoon, Mr.
Finn.
Just Just stopping by to see how physics is going.
Oh, yes, Zoe? What if you call a radio station and dedicate a song to Tyler? That Mm! Okay.
That's interesting.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Uh Okay.
You're not teaching physics at all, are you? I am teaching logical problem-solving methods, which is the backbone to all the sciences.
- Is it? - Honestly, I don't know.
But I am desperate because Tyler's very mad at me.
And I don't know what else to do.
Well, then these are all wrong.
You're gonna need something much bigger.
- [SIGHS.]
Wait.
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- Oh, good luck.
- Bigger? Wait.
Like what? What What do you mean, "bigger"? Kristin? Kristin? Kristin?! What do you mean?! - I like her.
- [GROANS.]
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
- What's up with you? - I don't know.
I've just been feeling kind of achy in the The head area.
[SNIFFLES.]
A headache? You could call it that, sure.
Also kind of dizzy, and my stomach hurts.
And a little shaky.
This wobbles.
This shouldn't wobble.
[SNIFFLES.]
- Do I feel hot? - Unh-unh! Mm.
Mnh-mnh.
Why are you moving away from me? I need to keep my distance.
Whatever it is could be contagious.
Contagious? Wait a second.
Do you really think that Oh, oh! [WHIMPERING.]
[CRYING.]
This is great.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The garage looks great.
Maybe we can Maybe we can get you a temp job in town until you make enough to fix your truck.
No way, man.
Jobs are for jerks.
- Okay, little hurtful.
- But it's okay, actually, because the truck's running fine.
It's just impounded.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
- Oh, that's great.
- It is? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm I'm really tight with the deputy sheriff, so Yeah.
I can get your car out like that.
I never quite learned how to snap.
But if you let me know where you're staying, I can swing by as soon as I talk to the deputy.
Kevin, that'd be great.
Thank you.
Yeah, no problem.
That's awesome.
[FINGERS SNAP.]
Doesn't getting that kid's truck seem a little too simple? - I think we should go - No, no, no, no, no, no.
I-I'm I'm lucky the Universe gave me a straightforward case.
This Tyler stuff is really draining me.
Hey! What did he say?! Are we Are we starting?! No, no! Not yet! Why does he have to stay all the way over there? Because he What are you saying?! - Should we start?! - Yes, that's a great idea! Come on, let's start so he can stop asking.
Okay.
Tyler! Ty! Could you come outside?! [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Okay, go time.
The bigger, the better.
Okay.
Three, two, one.
Blast off.
I said "big.
" Kevin, what's all What's all this? - Um - [FIREWORK WHISTLING.]
Fireworks! Aah! Aah! Aaaah! - Look! That's you! - [SCREAMS.]
Cool, right? You like it? No! Not at all! Oh, okay.
[SCREAMS.]
Why would you do this to me? Just to say sorry.
- [SCREAMS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
Just stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Just, please, stop! - Okay.
- I hate this so much! What did he say?! More fireworks?! - No.
No.
- No.
Dave.
- All right.
Yep.
- No more fireworks! - No! - Dave.
TYLER: [SCREAMS.]
Mom, I need my thunder shirt! Mom! I should have just dedicated a song to him.
- Yeah.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
Tyler is terrified of fireworks.
- Everybody knows that.
- Well, everybody except me.
Seriously, you don't remember? No.
Fourth of July parade.
We were eight years old.
N-No, I don't.
- High-school kids - Yeah.
messing around with some fireworks? Mm, mnh-mnh.
Kevin, they blew off Tyler's pinkie toe.
Okay! That's ringing a bell.
And typical Tyler.
He went around thanking them because he already had six toes on that foot.
Oh, of course.
"Little Tyler's teeny-tiny toe.
" - He was so scarred by that incident.
- Oh.
He still gets clammy when he hears popcorn popping.
I won't do fireworks again.
What should I do? I don't know.
Maybe start with something he, um - He actually likes? - Like what? I mean, I don't really keep track of things Tyler likes.
I mean, who does that? Well, if I was gonna make you happy, I would stuff you full of chicken Parm and take you to the roller derby.
Good Lord, that sounds so good.
So, I have to do that [SIGHS.]
Look, come on.
You can't think of one time? One time that That Tyler was extra happy? Happier than usual.
Um - One time.
- I I guess I'd never really noticed.
Hey, Nate.
So, I was thinking about how close you and Amy are getting, and I brought you a family photo of the three of us.
[CHUCKLES.]
NATE: Did you tape yourself on there? Did I? No, I was there.
- What do you want, Kevin? - Nothing.
But as long as you're asking, I was wondering if you could help me with a car that's in the impound lot.
It's a truck.
It's a camper truck.
It's got Ohio plates.
Um, it's a It's a truck.
It was impounded for expired registration.
I thought since we're basically family that - Nope.
Not gonna happen.
- Nate.
Legally, I can't let the car out till that's taken care of.
Ah.
Legally, you can't.
But, um Family-oriented Okay, fine.
How How much are we looking at? - Ballpark? $800.
- Oh.
Hey, but I'll waive the parking ticket if you take the photo off my desk.
[LAUGHS.]
No.
It's not happening.
We're family.
And families have photos.
Still there.
Hey! [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Marc.
- Hey.
What's the good news? Uh, well, so, the deputy really He really wanted to do me a solid, like, so bad, but apparently you owe like $800 for an expired registration.
Oh, I was afraid of that.
Maybe there's someone back home that you could have help you? Yeah, I'm kind of on my own on this one.
Mm.
All right.
Um [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Do you Sorry.
Do you smell something? It's It's like No, yeah, it's me.
Oh.
You know what? I-I'm sorry.
It's It's actually making it hard for me to focus a little bit.
How about While I think You want to come over to my place and And, you know, take a hot shower? Maybe do some laundry? You know.
You mind if I take a bath? I'm more of a bath guy.
Dude! [BREATHES SHARPLY.]
- Me too.
- Oh.
Yeah, it's so crazy how many men don't even consider a bath.
It They're so underrated.
Yeah.
They're so much better.
Uh, what are you doing? Um this is a little more complicated than I thought.
And you think $20 is gonna help? Well, it can't hurt.
And I'm at a loss, so Once Marc gets out of the tub, we'll put our heads together, and we'll figure it out.
Things always feel better after a nice soak.
You know what I mean? I wouldn't know.
Hey, so, um Remember when you walked me through my past and showed me all the All the times in my life where I had been a a jerk? Mm-mm! Not all the times.
Just a select few.
Right.
Well [CLEARS THROAT.]
Would you be willing to do that again, but, this time, we could go into Tyler's past? Okay, let me Let me be sure I know what you're asking me.
Okay.
You want me to invade Tyler's privacy to show you moments you were too self-involved to notice the first time around? Is that Is that it? - Yes.
- No.
W But But Kevin.
Not a chance.
- I said it's for Tyler.
- [AMY SCREAMING.]
That's ridiculous.
- [GASPS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
Who are you?! - You stay back! - No.
I'm staying.
I'm staying.
- I will hit you! I will hit you! - Please.
No.
Please don't.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Aah! Aim! You're home early.
- Thanks again.
- Yeah.
Sorry again.
Who was that? [SIGHS.]
That was Marc.
- Marc.
- Okay? - Yeah.
- Who's Marc? My friend.
- Your friend.
- Yeah.
What's your friend's last name? [CLEARS THROAT.]
Marc Y Marc.
Did you just let a stranger take a shower in my house? - Uh, okay.
- Where I live.
- With my daughter.
Who's 14.
- Okay.
It was a bath.
- Okay.
- All right? Yeah.
And, I mean, when you put it that way, it sounds bad.
Any way you put it, it sounds bad! Oh, well, at least I'm doing something to help people! You're Don't You never help anybody.
Except last year when I let my jerk, idiot, jackass brother come live at my house rent-free and eat all my food and lecture me.
Right.
Okay.
Well I see what you're doing here.
I do.
I see what you're doing.
You're trying to turn this around on me.
But it will not work, bucko.
It will not.
And I do help people, Kevin.
Okay? I help students every day by filling their brains with knowledge.
- That's another example, yeah.
- Yes.
Another good example.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay? Oh.
And light bulbs.
Okay? You are standing next to an energy-efficient bulb, my friend.
You think that's a 60-watt bulb? No.
It's a 14-watt bulb, baby! You're welcome, Earth! [CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS.]
Hey, buddy! I'm feeling great! Good.
Where is Yvette? I don't know.
I don't know.
She didn't quite mention where she was She told me that there would be Sometimes she gets back around I wasn't quite privy to what her plans were.
Is there something I can help you with? Oh.
Uh, well, she said that she wanted you to take me through some of Tyler's best memories so that I could use them to do something special for him.
Seriously? She said that? Yes.
Well, let's dive in, then.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
[SCREAMING.]
[GASPING.]
Hold on.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
I know this ball pit.
Rockaroni Pizza? This place has been closed forever.
Well, it wasn't closed in 1989.
How does this have anything to do with Tyler's best memory? This is a pretty bad-ass birthday party.
- The band is fire.
- [TO THE TUNE OF "I LOVE ROCK N' ROLL".]
Heat the oven up to 700 degrees Hey, Kev! Check out this band! - And ride a tasty ride - That's Tyler.
- And that's me.
- I don't remember this at all.
Ah, it's just Tyler's happiest day ever, so you know.
Okay, this is forever ago.
Can we maybe go somewhere more recent? - Singing, I love cheese and dough - You got it.
'Cause maybe there's some Oh! Whoa! Oh, no! Aah! Aah! When you eat it here - You can play games, yeah, games - I thought I said recent.
- This is more recent.
- When you eat it here Tyler's graduation party.
The second happiest day of his life.
Singing, I love cheese and dough Put a little pie in the oven, baby - I love cheese and dough - This is so awesome! That is a very full beard for an 18-year-old.
Oh, Ty Yeah, he started shaving in the fifth grade.
- I believe it.
- Whoo! Where was I? I - Oh, goo Oh.
- Ha! Kev Dogg! You made it! Yep.
Now, you can take it home As soon as Kristin gets off work, we're gonna head to Randy Seckler's.
He got a keg for his graduation party.
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna stick here.
- Yeah.
Singing, I love cheese and dough Kevin.
I forgot she worked here.
See you, Ty.
Hey, can I get that? Thanks, man.
- Rock on, bro! - Yeah, rock on.
Ew.
Just ew.
Whoo! Yeah! Ha ha ha! They just shred so hard! He loved that pizza so much.
He used to order some to go, just so he could freeze it in case of emergencies.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey! I just had my own memory! I'm very proud of you.
Okay, but that's it.
That's I think that's It's the pizza.
That's what he loves, and that's what I'm gonna get for him.
How? I don't know.
This place is long dead.
And so are you.
How dumb are you? How dumb are you to let him play us off each other like Mommy and Daddy? Dave, I lied to you, and I'm sorry, okay? That's cool.
Whatever.
I know you're angry, but I know how to fix Tyler now, which you should be happy about because it was your fault.
- Oh - I mean, I made it worse.
But initially - Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
- Fine? - Oh.
Really? - Yeah.
If you think you can get Tyler back, go for it.
- Oh.
- Just do it on your own time.
- Okay.
I - After you help Marc, right? Yes.
I will do that.
- Okay, good.
- Okay.
- Now go home.
- Huh? - Go get to it.
- Oh.
And now you.
All right, you're mad.
And I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no.
No.
I'm mad because you made me sick! Oh, no.
Look, you're gonna be okay.
You know? I-I actually don't feel that bad.
Honestly.
I feel totally fine.
Just tip-top.
Just deluxe.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYS "GAME OVER" THEME.]
MARC: Kevin, I can't take your money.
But I have an idea.
Okay.
So, what's the big plan? Simple.
That one.
The white one.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's my truck.
- Oh.
- Plan is, we break in, we steal it.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, yeah? That That's the plan? [LAUGHING.]
Okay.
Ahh.
Are you serious? - Gate code is 7422, pound.
- Oh, boy.
You're serious.
I've seen the guard enter it every single night.
I don't know.
Okay, no, you know what? I get it.
I get it.
It's fine.
It's just, uh, could you at least keep it quiet? 'Cause, either way, I'm doing this.
So, what do you say? You really want to help me out or not? I Oh, boy.
One can of Rockaroni Pizza Product.
Maybe the last remaining can on Earth.
Wow.
"Pizza Product"? Yeah.
We weren't allowed to call it sauce.
By law.
Oh.
I can't believe you still had that.
This is all that's left of the two cases I took home on my last day.
- Two cases? - Yeah.
When Rockaroni went under, the product was suddenly in high demand.
I paid off most of my student debt selling these cans on eBay.
For real? Some guy named "Eat Dat Pizza 445" bought the lot.
He was obsessed with the stuff.
Can I take your moral temperature? Okay.
If you knew that someone was going to do something that was kind of really illegal, what would you do? Well, how illegal? It's illegal enough.
And I'd like to stop it from happening.
Do you want to hear a teacher trick? Do I want to hear a teacher trick? Well, I am a teacher, so it might be useful.
When I hear that two students are planning on fighting after school, I will find some other infraction to give one of them detention.
- [GASPS.]
Oh! - That'll separate them, give them some time to cool off.
Yes, it's annoying, but it's it's way better than getting in trouble for something even worse.
Wow.
That is diabolical.
[LAUGHS.]
Did you set the timer? - Oh.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
You're just gonna press the little That's him.
And I can't stay long because I have to go deliver a piping-hot pizza to Tyler.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uhh! Nope, not interested.
Okay.
What's the deal here? What'd he do? Well, nothing yet.
But it's what he's going to do, which is something stupid.
So I thought maybe you could take him in for something and just let him gather his thoughts.
Kevin, I'm not in the habit of just arresting people because they might do something at some point.
[SIGHS.]
Please? Look, I'm not asking as Amy's brother.
Or your almost, maybe, brother-in-law.
Who knows? We'll see.
I'm just asking as As someone who's trying to help a dumb 19-year-old.
All right.
Ahh! Okay, so, do you think there's something you could bring him in on? [SCOFFS.]
Are you kidding? He's living in the park.
He's got an open fire going.
His tent is the wrong color.
Is that a real crime? - No.
- Oh.
I can joke, too.
Nate.
[LAUGHS.]
How you feeling? Like wet garbage.
You? Same.
You know, this job should have sick days.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.
[SIGHS.]
You You You smell that? Yeah, I do smell Am I I'm sorry.
Am I drooling? Is this drooling? - It looks amazing.
- It reminds me of heaven.
I mean, I could have a little taste.
- Kevin won't know.
- No, just a little little Let's see.
Hm.
How does it taste? Delicious.
But But there's There's something else.
I kind of feel - Better? - Really? I think I know what's wrong with us.
What's that? I think we're hungry.
- That's Oh.
- Doesn't that make sense? - Oh, yeah.
That makes sense.
- Get on this.
- I - Mmm! Ahhhhh! Mmm! [LAUGHS, MOANS.]
Oh, yeah! I think Marc's out of trouble for the night.
So now let's drop this off with Tyler and, uh What happened? Can you be more specific? You ate Tyler's pizza?! You ate my big gesture?! - Kevin, I - No.
It was me.
I Dave'd things up again, as per yoozh.
- Wh Wh - And You should be thanking David.
Thank him? For what? He is teaching you a lesson.
You are? Mm-hmm.
What's the lesson? You tell me, Kevin.
What is the lesson? Why would I tear ass into that tasty, tasty pizza? - Mm.
- Because It was never about the pizza.
Keep talking.
It was about The entire experience that Tyler had at Rockaroni? Is that it? That's it! Of course! See? I was paying attention to Kevin.
What are you doing here? - Um - Did you call the cops on me? Me? No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
I didn't I didn't tell them anything.
- Let's go.
- Marc, I-I have Sorry.
And then it came to me.
It was never about the pizza.
It's about the experience.
So, you ate the pizza.
Yeah.
Do you have any idea of the street value - of that can that we used? - The can is priceless because - it helped get me to this idea.
- Oh, this? We're getting the band back together.
Get excited.
Well, I hope you know where you're going, - because I have no signal.
- Well, they gave me directions.
I just hope these guys aren't as weird as they sounded on the phone.
Wait.
What? [CLEARS THROAT.]
[BUZZER.]
- [INTERCOM BEEPS.]
- SAM: Who is it? Kevin Finn? I called about the Craigslist posting? SOCK: Who's the chick? Um, just a friend.
[BUZZER, DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CLOCKS CHIMING.]
[GASPS.]
[CHIMING CONTINUES.]
- Oh! - [GASPS.]
[BREATHES SHARPLY.]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Sorry about that.
- Oh.
Hi.
We just like to be careful.
I get it.
[LAUGHS.]
Wow.
This place is really interesting.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.
No, just that that it's You just, you you know - You got a lot of things.
- I know.
I love things.
We have an online business selling stuff that we collected at an old job.
An important job.
I helped.
Okay.
Well [CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm Kevin.
- And this is Kristin.
- Hi.
Hello.
What were your names again? - Ben.
- Ben.
Ben.
Jamin.
Ben and Benjamin Are our names.
- So, you're You're Benjamin? - No! What Do you - Do you want to see the merch or not?! - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I mean, gah! - What? - We talked about this.
- What? - Let the sale come to you, all right? - You okay? - Yeah.
- Scared me a little bit.
Yeah.
- That guy.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah? All right.
Hey, you know what? Look at the stuff, don't.
- It's all good, man.
- Yeah.
I could give a wet rat.
- Oh.
- Aah.
- Nope, that's - Oh.
- I used to be able to - That's all right.
- You can stop.
- You don have to - I believe you.
- You don't have to.
Peppi and the Tenderonis! Wow! And they're still in pretty good shape, considering how old they are.
Do they work? - Yeah.
Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Yeah.
I mean.
no.
Not totally.
I mean, sometimes the skunk catches on fire.
But, you know, maybe you want that.
I suppose I could knock off a few dollars.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
The price stays exactly the same, all right? In fact, I think maybe the price should get knocked up a little bit because of the whole interactive fire element now.
Okay, so, anyway, if you want them, they're yours.
KEVIN: Okay.
Yeah.
- I think I think we absolutely do.
- Yeah.
All right.
There you go.
Yeah.
[SNIFFS.]
Okay.
I count super-fast.
It's all there.
- We got enough? - Yeah, we got enough.
- Yeah? - What What are you guys gonna do? We're gonna go to Costa Rica to visit our friend Ben.
- Oh.
- So so, you two guys named "Ben" have another friend named Ben? No.
Okay, I think we're good here.
- Yeah.
Just - No, hey.
Just give me give me a moment with the boys.
Thank you.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Oh, uh Hi.
Sorry.
Um, is he here? No.
Do you know where I can find him? I don't.
Sorry.
Okay, it's weird.
I walked all the way from town to yell at him.
Now that I'm here, I just - Kind of want to thank him.
- Yeah, that's Kevin.
Do you mind if I just chill out on the porch here and wait for him? I promise I won't bother anybody.
I'll just keep to myself.
Sure.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Uh Are you hungry? [LAUGH.]
Whoo! - Tyler is gonna flip.
- Oh.
Do you think so? He's gonna lose his mind.
Whoa.
See? Okay.
I know Tyler.
I just You know, I needed my memory jogged a little.
Yeah, well, it was very thoughtful.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're a good friend.
Yep.
Mr.
Thoughtful.
- That's - [SIGHS.]
That's me.
[METAL CLANKS.]
- What was that? - I don't know.
Oh.
Kevin, there's smoke coming out of the hood.
This is not good.
Now? Oh, gosh.
It's coming in.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
[COUGHING.]
My mom, she used to make this for me all the time.
- AMY: Are they still around? - Thanks.
I haven't talked to them in like a year.
They kick you out? No, I left.
They They gave me this ultimatum.
They told me either go to college or get a job.
I'm like, "I don't even know who I am.
" You know, I'm not gonna sit in some classroom or sit behind some desk.
I mean, look, Jack Kerouac said, "This is" Ugh.
Stop.
You're the worst.
- Excuse me? - You ran away.
Like a first grader.
I mean, I-I don't view it like that.
It's exactly like that.
It's dumb.
So, did you Did you do it? Did you find yourself? It's still a work in progress, I think.
I mean, all the things that I've seen, all the people that I've met It's a challenging journey, for sure.
Um, and You know, it's [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
It's awful.
It's pretty awful.
Then go home.
What are you doing? No, I can't.
I was I was a real jerk to my parents, and they're mad at me now.
And I know it.
And I don't blame them.
One time, I didn't hear from my brother for almost two years.
- Kevin? - Yeah, he was Well, he was different back then.
It was terrible.
You know, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, and I would think to myself, "Is he dead?" And if he was dead, would I Would I even know it? I was mad.
I was I was really mad.
But when I finally did hear from him I didn't even remember the anger.
Call them.
Hi, Mom.
[OWL HOOTING.]
- How How you feeling? - Oh.
Way better.
Yeah, that pizza was a miracle.
You? Oh, fine.
I'm I'm fine.
- Mm.
- [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Do you think it'll happen again? What's that? Getting hungry? I don't know.
Maybe.
You know? I was thinking about checking out this Chinese place Golden Dragon.
They have a duck That's not That's That's not what I mean, Dave.
Do we need to eat now? Like, and if so, how often? What, every day? Every hou [SIGHS.]
It's just so We could probably just ask Kevin for help.
Absolutely not.
What? Why? He's got all this human stuff figured out.
No, we We should tell him.
No, we are here to protect him.
If he's worried that something's wrong with us, he'll be distracted.
- But if he - No.
No.
No.
- We'll handle it ourselves.
- Okay.
End of discussion.
Last word.
What? Last word.
I win.
- [LAUGHS.]
No.
- No? - No.
No, you don't.
- Okay.
- Last word.
- Shut up.
- [SOFTLY.]
Last word.
- Shut up! I got us a tow.
- Great! - Yeah.
He'll be here in four hours.
Four or five hours.
- Oh.
- So, yeah.
- Not so great.
- No.
Oh, but I did find some crackers - Oh.
- in the glove compartment.
Or some some pieces of crackers.
Whoa.
We're saved.
Yes.
If we get hungry.
[LAUGHS.]
Oy.
Well, at least it's a nice view.
Yeah.
Yep.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
I, um Yeah? I-I didn't remember that Tyler loved Rockaroni.
Somebody had to tell me.
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
I just I just didn't want you to think that I was a good friend when I wasn't.
I mean You know.
Oh, that's not true.
- Yeah, no.
I really - That's not true at all.
Look at everything that you've done for him.
Well, yeah, now.
But I-I wouldn't blame Tyler if he didn't forgive me.
I was pretty selfish.
I was really selfish for a A long time.
And not just with Tyler.
I mean, I-I was thoughtless with Amy and Reese and With you.
But I won't make those same mistakes again.
And I'm just gonna try to prove to Tyler how much he means to me, and I can only hope that he believes me.
But I believe you.
[ORGAN PLAYS.]
Aah! What is it? What is wrong? Sorry.
I heard a sound.
- It was like a - [LAUGHS.]
What? Like an animal sound.
- Something Something-big sound? - Well, I didn't - I didn't hear anything.
- Like a [SNARLING.]
No, I definitely didn't.
- Okay.
Yeah.
- I'm - [LAUGHS.]
- Good.
That's good.
- No, that's good.
That's great.
- Okay.
- My mistake.
I just thought - Shh.
Come here.
Hey.
Where have you been all night? I was stranded.
The engine died, and Anyway, it's fine now.
Okay.
Second question.
Yeah? What did you do to my garage? - I color-coordinated it.
- Yes.
I noticed.
And now I can't find anything.
You're welcome.
Hey, that's Marc's bag.
Is he here? - Not anymore.
- Came by yesterday.
Wasn't too happy about being in jail.
Mm-hmm.
But lucky for you, I fixed things.
Convinced him to call his parents.
And now he's on a bus back home, so You - You helped him! - Yeah.
- Stop.
Yes.
- Wow! Oh! Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I'm a very helpful person, Kevin.
Amazing.
And it's all because I helped you realize that you needed to help him.
I wanna hit you in the face with this wrench so bad.
- Don't.
- Just a tap.
Too Hey.
I have a reward for you.
Okay, well, I'm not a dog.
I don't need a reward.
It's not Fine.
I mean, you don't want to help repair any robots That's fine.
Robots? The skunk's got a short.
But I do think that I could jury-rig something to make it last through one performance.
YVETTE: Okay, up a little.
Just, like, to your left.
Pull it to your left and up.
Yep.
Okay, good.
Perfect.
- Yes.
Perfect.
- Yeah.
Tyler's gonna melt like a pad of butter.
- Think so? - Are you kidding me? Look at all the effort you put into this.
Once he sees those dancing nightmares up on stage, you two will be right back to the good ol' days.
Yeah.
Are you okay? - Uh - I think we're ready.
You want me to go get Tyler? Um Actually, no.
There There's a little change in plans.
I'll be right back.
I just I just need a quick word.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I-I was hoping that I could just win you back with stupid things to show you that I'm a That I'm a good friend.
But I'm not a good friend.
I've taken you for granted for a long time.
Mm-hmm.
I-I-I figured, once I found the right apology, that we could go back to the way we were.
But But I don't want to go back to the way things were.
So [BREATHES [DEEPLY.]
If you ever decide to start a new friendship with me, I just wanted to tell you that I will I'll work my my butt off because you deserve more than just some gesture of re-creating Rockaroni Pizza.
You deserve a person who strives to be as good of a friend to you as you've always been to me.
That all? Um, yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
Hmm? I love you, Keavy Metal.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
And what were you saying about Rockaroni Pizza? ["I LOVE ROCK 'N' ROLL" PLAYS.]
Whoo! Yes! Yes! Yeah! Kev, check it out! So awesome! Hey, doughboy, make yourself useful.
Start serving slices.
Heat the oven up to 700 degrees [LAUGHS.]
- Give it enough time - Mmm.
This tastes exactly like Rockaroni Pizza.
Uh, yeah.
Turns out Tyler was Eat Dat Pizza 445.
He's the one who bought all those cans of sauce from me all those years ago.
What a strange animal.
Yeah, he really is.
- Singin' I love cheese and dough - Whoo! [LAUGHS.]
Thank you for your help with everything.
I love cheese and dough It was fun.
- Even better with pepperoni - Yeah, it was, wasn't it? Mm-hmm.
Um do you want to hang out later? [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Maybe without the, um, animatronic band? [CHUCKLES.]
Mm.
Without the animatronic band? Yes.
That sounds great, though.
You can play games, yeah, yeah I love cheese and dough Put another pie in the oven, baby I love cheese and dough It's even better with pepperoni Yes! Why not just give these things to Tyler? Um, his mom doesn't trust robots.
- Smart lady.
- Yeah.
Oh.
Hey.
Um, before I forget, I just wanted to tell you both, in light of recent events, that, um, I-I just I really appreciate you.
That's very sweet.
- Yeah.
- Aww.
Thanks, Kev.
Uh, actually, I believe we have something that we need to share with you also.
Oh.
What is it? We really want to hear the band one more time.
- Hey! Yeah! - Oh, awesome.
That song is a total ear worm.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
I mean During our tweens, Tyler would hum it while he was asleep.
KEVIN: Oh.
Okay.
Let's see.
Do you have Yeah, I got it.
All right.
Great.
[YVETTE CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
Well, boys and girls, please welcome from the cheese-covered mountains of Pizzalvania [LAUGHTER.]
Peppi and the Tenderonis.
Whoo! [LAUGHS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
[BOTH SCREAMING.]
Oh, oh, oh.
[PANTING.]
Oh.
[GASPS.]
Last word.
[GASPS.]
Oh.
W-What happened? Where'd he go? Uh I-I don't know.
The only job you have in life is to build up your spiritual powers through acts of kindness and selflessness.
I have something to show you.
- I thought we were impervious.
- Oh.
We're not gonna do this again, right? You know, I always thought you guys would get back together someday.
My lady from Laos, we've been in communicado.
- What? - The e-mails were from me.
I was trying to let you have closure.
Now I don't have to waste my time with someone who's clearly not my friend.
I'm sorry that I ate your brother, Mr.
Toast.
But now it's time for you to join him.
Did you get any yogurt at the store? Yes, I did.
I got the honey kind.
But you know what? You're gonna have to eat it in the car because I am so, so, so, so late for an early-morning meeting.
Kevin.
[CHUCKLES.]
Can you please stop leaving your shoes in the middle of the floor? It just drives me crazy.
All over it.
Hey, you know how you do that thing where you help, like, random strangers? Oh, that? Yeah.
Honestly, I do it so often I barely even think about it.
It's almost like second nature.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, I was just I was wondering maybe Do you think that you might be able to help me? Leaves.
She wants me to rake leaves.
What a waste of my talents.
Our talents.
Yeah, I'm gonna sit.
Keep raking.
Oh, good.
I still have time to stop off at Tyler's - before I teach this afternoon.
- Kill him with kindness.
Oh, I prefer to think of it as gently smothering him with kindness, but yes.
[WIND BLOWING.]
No.
No! No.
Come on! [SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
You think maybe that was some sort of sign? Are you okay, bud? Yeah, I'm great.
Why? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Hey.
Can I help you? Hey.
I was wandering around town looking for work, thought maybe you'd need some help clearing your leaves.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh.
Uh, no.
I-I-I literally just No.
No, no, no! [GASPS.]
Yes.
Yes.
Whatever you charge, I'm in.
What brings you to Taylor anyway? You got some family stuff going on or Maybe a little long-distance re-laish on the rocks, came to patch things up? No, nothing that interesting.
I'm just driving cross-country looking for a place to call home.
I really only stopped here because I'm having some car troubles.
Car trouble? That's it? Do I need to have more things wrong with me? No.
No.
I It's just, um I usually end up meeting people who have, um, larger issues.
- Well, not me.
- It It's just It's just weird.
Okay.
I'm gonna go see if your neighbors need anything.
Oh, no, no, no.
When Um, the garage needs organizing.
So Seems pretty organized.
It does.
But is it color-coordinated? No, it is not.
And that's where you come in.
Um - Yeah.
Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Awesome.
Okay.
Well, you get started.
I will pay you when I get home.
I'm a very busy guy.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
How can I help you today, Kevin? "Kevin"? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Come on.
What about Kevbo? Keavy D? No, thank you, Kevin.
Tyler, please, I-I was only trying to help when I wrote those e-mails.
And look.
Here.
I brought you an apology.
Look.
It's us.
It says "Friendshrimp is forever.
" Because we were eating shrimp.
And it almost looks like it says "friendship," but it it isn't.
It's a different word.
So, that is for you.
And I actually I-I got two, so we can both have it.
Thanks.
Yep.
Oh, Johnny on the spot! Ee.
Whoo! Olivia Newton-Johnny! Yes! Ah! You been working out? Guys, please.
Okay? I'm Look.
I'm not trying to be a hard-ass here.
I just I believe in you all so much.
But we need to get creative with our answers, okay? Let's think Outside the box.
Because if we're not thinking outside the box, - we're trapped - Good afternoon, Mr.
Finn.
Just Just stopping by to see how physics is going.
Oh, yes, Zoe? What if you call a radio station and dedicate a song to Tyler? That Mm! Okay.
That's interesting.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Uh Okay.
You're not teaching physics at all, are you? I am teaching logical problem-solving methods, which is the backbone to all the sciences.
- Is it? - Honestly, I don't know.
But I am desperate because Tyler's very mad at me.
And I don't know what else to do.
Well, then these are all wrong.
You're gonna need something much bigger.
- [SIGHS.]
Wait.
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- Oh, good luck.
- Bigger? Wait.
Like what? What What do you mean, "bigger"? Kristin? Kristin? Kristin?! What do you mean?! - I like her.
- [GROANS.]
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
- What's up with you? - I don't know.
I've just been feeling kind of achy in the The head area.
[SNIFFLES.]
A headache? You could call it that, sure.
Also kind of dizzy, and my stomach hurts.
And a little shaky.
This wobbles.
This shouldn't wobble.
[SNIFFLES.]
- Do I feel hot? - Unh-unh! Mm.
Mnh-mnh.
Why are you moving away from me? I need to keep my distance.
Whatever it is could be contagious.
Contagious? Wait a second.
Do you really think that Oh, oh! [WHIMPERING.]
[CRYING.]
This is great.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The garage looks great.
Maybe we can Maybe we can get you a temp job in town until you make enough to fix your truck.
No way, man.
Jobs are for jerks.
- Okay, little hurtful.
- But it's okay, actually, because the truck's running fine.
It's just impounded.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
- Oh, that's great.
- It is? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm I'm really tight with the deputy sheriff, so Yeah.
I can get your car out like that.
I never quite learned how to snap.
But if you let me know where you're staying, I can swing by as soon as I talk to the deputy.
Kevin, that'd be great.
Thank you.
Yeah, no problem.
That's awesome.
[FINGERS SNAP.]
Doesn't getting that kid's truck seem a little too simple? - I think we should go - No, no, no, no, no, no.
I-I'm I'm lucky the Universe gave me a straightforward case.
This Tyler stuff is really draining me.
Hey! What did he say?! Are we Are we starting?! No, no! Not yet! Why does he have to stay all the way over there? Because he What are you saying?! - Should we start?! - Yes, that's a great idea! Come on, let's start so he can stop asking.
Okay.
Tyler! Ty! Could you come outside?! [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Okay, go time.
The bigger, the better.
Okay.
Three, two, one.
Blast off.
I said "big.
" Kevin, what's all What's all this? - Um - [FIREWORK WHISTLING.]
Fireworks! Aah! Aah! Aaaah! - Look! That's you! - [SCREAMS.]
Cool, right? You like it? No! Not at all! Oh, okay.
[SCREAMS.]
Why would you do this to me? Just to say sorry.
- [SCREAMS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
Just stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Just, please, stop! - Okay.
- I hate this so much! What did he say?! More fireworks?! - No.
No.
- No.
Dave.
- All right.
Yep.
- No more fireworks! - No! - Dave.
TYLER: [SCREAMS.]
Mom, I need my thunder shirt! Mom! I should have just dedicated a song to him.
- Yeah.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
Tyler is terrified of fireworks.
- Everybody knows that.
- Well, everybody except me.
Seriously, you don't remember? No.
Fourth of July parade.
We were eight years old.
N-No, I don't.
- High-school kids - Yeah.
messing around with some fireworks? Mm, mnh-mnh.
Kevin, they blew off Tyler's pinkie toe.
Okay! That's ringing a bell.
And typical Tyler.
He went around thanking them because he already had six toes on that foot.
Oh, of course.
"Little Tyler's teeny-tiny toe.
" - He was so scarred by that incident.
- Oh.
He still gets clammy when he hears popcorn popping.
I won't do fireworks again.
What should I do? I don't know.
Maybe start with something he, um - He actually likes? - Like what? I mean, I don't really keep track of things Tyler likes.
I mean, who does that? Well, if I was gonna make you happy, I would stuff you full of chicken Parm and take you to the roller derby.
Good Lord, that sounds so good.
So, I have to do that [SIGHS.]
Look, come on.
You can't think of one time? One time that That Tyler was extra happy? Happier than usual.
Um - One time.
- I I guess I'd never really noticed.
Hey, Nate.
So, I was thinking about how close you and Amy are getting, and I brought you a family photo of the three of us.
[CHUCKLES.]
NATE: Did you tape yourself on there? Did I? No, I was there.
- What do you want, Kevin? - Nothing.
But as long as you're asking, I was wondering if you could help me with a car that's in the impound lot.
It's a truck.
It's a camper truck.
It's got Ohio plates.
Um, it's a It's a truck.
It was impounded for expired registration.
I thought since we're basically family that - Nope.
Not gonna happen.
- Nate.
Legally, I can't let the car out till that's taken care of.
Ah.
Legally, you can't.
But, um Family-oriented Okay, fine.
How How much are we looking at? - Ballpark? $800.
- Oh.
Hey, but I'll waive the parking ticket if you take the photo off my desk.
[LAUGHS.]
No.
It's not happening.
We're family.
And families have photos.
Still there.
Hey! [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Marc.
- Hey.
What's the good news? Uh, well, so, the deputy really He really wanted to do me a solid, like, so bad, but apparently you owe like $800 for an expired registration.
Oh, I was afraid of that.
Maybe there's someone back home that you could have help you? Yeah, I'm kind of on my own on this one.
Mm.
All right.
Um [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Do you Sorry.
Do you smell something? It's It's like No, yeah, it's me.
Oh.
You know what? I-I'm sorry.
It's It's actually making it hard for me to focus a little bit.
How about While I think You want to come over to my place and And, you know, take a hot shower? Maybe do some laundry? You know.
You mind if I take a bath? I'm more of a bath guy.
Dude! [BREATHES SHARPLY.]
- Me too.
- Oh.
Yeah, it's so crazy how many men don't even consider a bath.
It They're so underrated.
Yeah.
They're so much better.
Uh, what are you doing? Um this is a little more complicated than I thought.
And you think $20 is gonna help? Well, it can't hurt.
And I'm at a loss, so Once Marc gets out of the tub, we'll put our heads together, and we'll figure it out.
Things always feel better after a nice soak.
You know what I mean? I wouldn't know.
Hey, so, um Remember when you walked me through my past and showed me all the All the times in my life where I had been a a jerk? Mm-mm! Not all the times.
Just a select few.
Right.
Well [CLEARS THROAT.]
Would you be willing to do that again, but, this time, we could go into Tyler's past? Okay, let me Let me be sure I know what you're asking me.
Okay.
You want me to invade Tyler's privacy to show you moments you were too self-involved to notice the first time around? Is that Is that it? - Yes.
- No.
W But But Kevin.
Not a chance.
- I said it's for Tyler.
- [AMY SCREAMING.]
That's ridiculous.
- [GASPS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
Who are you?! - You stay back! - No.
I'm staying.
I'm staying.
- I will hit you! I will hit you! - Please.
No.
Please don't.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Aah! Aim! You're home early.
- Thanks again.
- Yeah.
Sorry again.
Who was that? [SIGHS.]
That was Marc.
- Marc.
- Okay? - Yeah.
- Who's Marc? My friend.
- Your friend.
- Yeah.
What's your friend's last name? [CLEARS THROAT.]
Marc Y Marc.
Did you just let a stranger take a shower in my house? - Uh, okay.
- Where I live.
- With my daughter.
Who's 14.
- Okay.
It was a bath.
- Okay.
- All right? Yeah.
And, I mean, when you put it that way, it sounds bad.
Any way you put it, it sounds bad! Oh, well, at least I'm doing something to help people! You're Don't You never help anybody.
Except last year when I let my jerk, idiot, jackass brother come live at my house rent-free and eat all my food and lecture me.
Right.
Okay.
Well I see what you're doing here.
I do.
I see what you're doing.
You're trying to turn this around on me.
But it will not work, bucko.
It will not.
And I do help people, Kevin.
Okay? I help students every day by filling their brains with knowledge.
- That's another example, yeah.
- Yes.
Another good example.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay? Oh.
And light bulbs.
Okay? You are standing next to an energy-efficient bulb, my friend.
You think that's a 60-watt bulb? No.
It's a 14-watt bulb, baby! You're welcome, Earth! [CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS.]
Hey, buddy! I'm feeling great! Good.
Where is Yvette? I don't know.
I don't know.
She didn't quite mention where she was She told me that there would be Sometimes she gets back around I wasn't quite privy to what her plans were.
Is there something I can help you with? Oh.
Uh, well, she said that she wanted you to take me through some of Tyler's best memories so that I could use them to do something special for him.
Seriously? She said that? Yes.
Well, let's dive in, then.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
[SCREAMING.]
[GASPING.]
Hold on.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
I know this ball pit.
Rockaroni Pizza? This place has been closed forever.
Well, it wasn't closed in 1989.
How does this have anything to do with Tyler's best memory? This is a pretty bad-ass birthday party.
- The band is fire.
- [TO THE TUNE OF "I LOVE ROCK N' ROLL".]
Heat the oven up to 700 degrees Hey, Kev! Check out this band! - And ride a tasty ride - That's Tyler.
- And that's me.
- I don't remember this at all.
Ah, it's just Tyler's happiest day ever, so you know.
Okay, this is forever ago.
Can we maybe go somewhere more recent? - Singing, I love cheese and dough - You got it.
'Cause maybe there's some Oh! Whoa! Oh, no! Aah! Aah! When you eat it here - You can play games, yeah, games - I thought I said recent.
- This is more recent.
- When you eat it here Tyler's graduation party.
The second happiest day of his life.
Singing, I love cheese and dough Put a little pie in the oven, baby - I love cheese and dough - This is so awesome! That is a very full beard for an 18-year-old.
Oh, Ty Yeah, he started shaving in the fifth grade.
- I believe it.
- Whoo! Where was I? I - Oh, goo Oh.
- Ha! Kev Dogg! You made it! Yep.
Now, you can take it home As soon as Kristin gets off work, we're gonna head to Randy Seckler's.
He got a keg for his graduation party.
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna stick here.
- Yeah.
Singing, I love cheese and dough Kevin.
I forgot she worked here.
See you, Ty.
Hey, can I get that? Thanks, man.
- Rock on, bro! - Yeah, rock on.
Ew.
Just ew.
Whoo! Yeah! Ha ha ha! They just shred so hard! He loved that pizza so much.
He used to order some to go, just so he could freeze it in case of emergencies.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey! I just had my own memory! I'm very proud of you.
Okay, but that's it.
That's I think that's It's the pizza.
That's what he loves, and that's what I'm gonna get for him.
How? I don't know.
This place is long dead.
And so are you.
How dumb are you? How dumb are you to let him play us off each other like Mommy and Daddy? Dave, I lied to you, and I'm sorry, okay? That's cool.
Whatever.
I know you're angry, but I know how to fix Tyler now, which you should be happy about because it was your fault.
- Oh - I mean, I made it worse.
But initially - Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
- Fine? - Oh.
Really? - Yeah.
If you think you can get Tyler back, go for it.
- Oh.
- Just do it on your own time.
- Okay.
I - After you help Marc, right? Yes.
I will do that.
- Okay, good.
- Okay.
- Now go home.
- Huh? - Go get to it.
- Oh.
And now you.
All right, you're mad.
And I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no.
No.
I'm mad because you made me sick! Oh, no.
Look, you're gonna be okay.
You know? I-I actually don't feel that bad.
Honestly.
I feel totally fine.
Just tip-top.
Just deluxe.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYS "GAME OVER" THEME.]
MARC: Kevin, I can't take your money.
But I have an idea.
Okay.
So, what's the big plan? Simple.
That one.
The white one.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's my truck.
- Oh.
- Plan is, we break in, we steal it.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, yeah? That That's the plan? [LAUGHING.]
Okay.
Ahh.
Are you serious? - Gate code is 7422, pound.
- Oh, boy.
You're serious.
I've seen the guard enter it every single night.
I don't know.
Okay, no, you know what? I get it.
I get it.
It's fine.
It's just, uh, could you at least keep it quiet? 'Cause, either way, I'm doing this.
So, what do you say? You really want to help me out or not? I Oh, boy.
One can of Rockaroni Pizza Product.
Maybe the last remaining can on Earth.
Wow.
"Pizza Product"? Yeah.
We weren't allowed to call it sauce.
By law.
Oh.
I can't believe you still had that.
This is all that's left of the two cases I took home on my last day.
- Two cases? - Yeah.
When Rockaroni went under, the product was suddenly in high demand.
I paid off most of my student debt selling these cans on eBay.
For real? Some guy named "Eat Dat Pizza 445" bought the lot.
He was obsessed with the stuff.
Can I take your moral temperature? Okay.
If you knew that someone was going to do something that was kind of really illegal, what would you do? Well, how illegal? It's illegal enough.
And I'd like to stop it from happening.
Do you want to hear a teacher trick? Do I want to hear a teacher trick? Well, I am a teacher, so it might be useful.
When I hear that two students are planning on fighting after school, I will find some other infraction to give one of them detention.
- [GASPS.]
Oh! - That'll separate them, give them some time to cool off.
Yes, it's annoying, but it's it's way better than getting in trouble for something even worse.
Wow.
That is diabolical.
[LAUGHS.]
Did you set the timer? - Oh.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
You're just gonna press the little That's him.
And I can't stay long because I have to go deliver a piping-hot pizza to Tyler.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uhh! Nope, not interested.
Okay.
What's the deal here? What'd he do? Well, nothing yet.
But it's what he's going to do, which is something stupid.
So I thought maybe you could take him in for something and just let him gather his thoughts.
Kevin, I'm not in the habit of just arresting people because they might do something at some point.
[SIGHS.]
Please? Look, I'm not asking as Amy's brother.
Or your almost, maybe, brother-in-law.
Who knows? We'll see.
I'm just asking as As someone who's trying to help a dumb 19-year-old.
All right.
Ahh! Okay, so, do you think there's something you could bring him in on? [SCOFFS.]
Are you kidding? He's living in the park.
He's got an open fire going.
His tent is the wrong color.
Is that a real crime? - No.
- Oh.
I can joke, too.
Nate.
[LAUGHS.]
How you feeling? Like wet garbage.
You? Same.
You know, this job should have sick days.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.
[SIGHS.]
You You You smell that? Yeah, I do smell Am I I'm sorry.
Am I drooling? Is this drooling? - It looks amazing.
- It reminds me of heaven.
I mean, I could have a little taste.
- Kevin won't know.
- No, just a little little Let's see.
Hm.
How does it taste? Delicious.
But But there's There's something else.
I kind of feel - Better? - Really? I think I know what's wrong with us.
What's that? I think we're hungry.
- That's Oh.
- Doesn't that make sense? - Oh, yeah.
That makes sense.
- Get on this.
- I - Mmm! Ahhhhh! Mmm! [LAUGHS, MOANS.]
Oh, yeah! I think Marc's out of trouble for the night.
So now let's drop this off with Tyler and, uh What happened? Can you be more specific? You ate Tyler's pizza?! You ate my big gesture?! - Kevin, I - No.
It was me.
I Dave'd things up again, as per yoozh.
- Wh Wh - And You should be thanking David.
Thank him? For what? He is teaching you a lesson.
You are? Mm-hmm.
What's the lesson? You tell me, Kevin.
What is the lesson? Why would I tear ass into that tasty, tasty pizza? - Mm.
- Because It was never about the pizza.
Keep talking.
It was about The entire experience that Tyler had at Rockaroni? Is that it? That's it! Of course! See? I was paying attention to Kevin.
What are you doing here? - Um - Did you call the cops on me? Me? No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
I didn't I didn't tell them anything.
- Let's go.
- Marc, I-I have Sorry.
And then it came to me.
It was never about the pizza.
It's about the experience.
So, you ate the pizza.
Yeah.
Do you have any idea of the street value - of that can that we used? - The can is priceless because - it helped get me to this idea.
- Oh, this? We're getting the band back together.
Get excited.
Well, I hope you know where you're going, - because I have no signal.
- Well, they gave me directions.
I just hope these guys aren't as weird as they sounded on the phone.
Wait.
What? [CLEARS THROAT.]
[BUZZER.]
- [INTERCOM BEEPS.]
- SAM: Who is it? Kevin Finn? I called about the Craigslist posting? SOCK: Who's the chick? Um, just a friend.
[BUZZER, DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CLOCKS CHIMING.]
[GASPS.]
[CHIMING CONTINUES.]
- Oh! - [GASPS.]
[BREATHES SHARPLY.]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Sorry about that.
- Oh.
Hi.
We just like to be careful.
I get it.
[LAUGHS.]
Wow.
This place is really interesting.
What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.
No, just that that it's You just, you you know - You got a lot of things.
- I know.
I love things.
We have an online business selling stuff that we collected at an old job.
An important job.
I helped.
Okay.
Well [CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm Kevin.
- And this is Kristin.
- Hi.
Hello.
What were your names again? - Ben.
- Ben.
Ben.
Jamin.
Ben and Benjamin Are our names.
- So, you're You're Benjamin? - No! What Do you - Do you want to see the merch or not?! - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I mean, gah! - What? - We talked about this.
- What? - Let the sale come to you, all right? - You okay? - Yeah.
- Scared me a little bit.
Yeah.
- That guy.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah? All right.
Hey, you know what? Look at the stuff, don't.
- It's all good, man.
- Yeah.
I could give a wet rat.
- Oh.
- Aah.
- Nope, that's - Oh.
- I used to be able to - That's all right.
- You can stop.
- You don have to - I believe you.
- You don't have to.
Peppi and the Tenderonis! Wow! And they're still in pretty good shape, considering how old they are.
Do they work? - Yeah.
Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Yeah.
I mean.
no.
Not totally.
I mean, sometimes the skunk catches on fire.
But, you know, maybe you want that.
I suppose I could knock off a few dollars.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
The price stays exactly the same, all right? In fact, I think maybe the price should get knocked up a little bit because of the whole interactive fire element now.
Okay, so, anyway, if you want them, they're yours.
KEVIN: Okay.
Yeah.
- I think I think we absolutely do.
- Yeah.
All right.
There you go.
Yeah.
[SNIFFS.]
Okay.
I count super-fast.
It's all there.
- We got enough? - Yeah, we got enough.
- Yeah? - What What are you guys gonna do? We're gonna go to Costa Rica to visit our friend Ben.
- Oh.
- So so, you two guys named "Ben" have another friend named Ben? No.
Okay, I think we're good here.
- Yeah.
Just - No, hey.
Just give me give me a moment with the boys.
Thank you.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Oh, uh Hi.
Sorry.
Um, is he here? No.
Do you know where I can find him? I don't.
Sorry.
Okay, it's weird.
I walked all the way from town to yell at him.
Now that I'm here, I just - Kind of want to thank him.
- Yeah, that's Kevin.
Do you mind if I just chill out on the porch here and wait for him? I promise I won't bother anybody.
I'll just keep to myself.
Sure.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Uh Are you hungry? [LAUGH.]
Whoo! - Tyler is gonna flip.
- Oh.
Do you think so? He's gonna lose his mind.
Whoa.
See? Okay.
I know Tyler.
I just You know, I needed my memory jogged a little.
Yeah, well, it was very thoughtful.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're a good friend.
Yep.
Mr.
Thoughtful.
- That's - [SIGHS.]
That's me.
[METAL CLANKS.]
- What was that? - I don't know.
Oh.
Kevin, there's smoke coming out of the hood.
This is not good.
Now? Oh, gosh.
It's coming in.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
[COUGHING.]
My mom, she used to make this for me all the time.
- AMY: Are they still around? - Thanks.
I haven't talked to them in like a year.
They kick you out? No, I left.
They They gave me this ultimatum.
They told me either go to college or get a job.
I'm like, "I don't even know who I am.
" You know, I'm not gonna sit in some classroom or sit behind some desk.
I mean, look, Jack Kerouac said, "This is" Ugh.
Stop.
You're the worst.
- Excuse me? - You ran away.
Like a first grader.
I mean, I-I don't view it like that.
It's exactly like that.
It's dumb.
So, did you Did you do it? Did you find yourself? It's still a work in progress, I think.
I mean, all the things that I've seen, all the people that I've met It's a challenging journey, for sure.
Um, and You know, it's [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
It's awful.
It's pretty awful.
Then go home.
What are you doing? No, I can't.
I was I was a real jerk to my parents, and they're mad at me now.
And I know it.
And I don't blame them.
One time, I didn't hear from my brother for almost two years.
- Kevin? - Yeah, he was Well, he was different back then.
It was terrible.
You know, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, and I would think to myself, "Is he dead?" And if he was dead, would I Would I even know it? I was mad.
I was I was really mad.
But when I finally did hear from him I didn't even remember the anger.
Call them.
Hi, Mom.
[OWL HOOTING.]
- How How you feeling? - Oh.
Way better.
Yeah, that pizza was a miracle.
You? Oh, fine.
I'm I'm fine.
- Mm.
- [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Do you think it'll happen again? What's that? Getting hungry? I don't know.
Maybe.
You know? I was thinking about checking out this Chinese place Golden Dragon.
They have a duck That's not That's That's not what I mean, Dave.
Do we need to eat now? Like, and if so, how often? What, every day? Every hou [SIGHS.]
It's just so We could probably just ask Kevin for help.
Absolutely not.
What? Why? He's got all this human stuff figured out.
No, we We should tell him.
No, we are here to protect him.
If he's worried that something's wrong with us, he'll be distracted.
- But if he - No.
No.
No.
- We'll handle it ourselves.
- Okay.
End of discussion.
Last word.
What? Last word.
I win.
- [LAUGHS.]
No.
- No? - No.
No, you don't.
- Okay.
- Last word.
- Shut up.
- [SOFTLY.]
Last word.
- Shut up! I got us a tow.
- Great! - Yeah.
He'll be here in four hours.
Four or five hours.
- Oh.
- So, yeah.
- Not so great.
- No.
Oh, but I did find some crackers - Oh.
- in the glove compartment.
Or some some pieces of crackers.
Whoa.
We're saved.
Yes.
If we get hungry.
[LAUGHS.]
Oy.
Well, at least it's a nice view.
Yeah.
Yep.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
I, um Yeah? I-I didn't remember that Tyler loved Rockaroni.
Somebody had to tell me.
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
I just I just didn't want you to think that I was a good friend when I wasn't.
I mean You know.
Oh, that's not true.
- Yeah, no.
I really - That's not true at all.
Look at everything that you've done for him.
Well, yeah, now.
But I-I wouldn't blame Tyler if he didn't forgive me.
I was pretty selfish.
I was really selfish for a A long time.
And not just with Tyler.
I mean, I-I was thoughtless with Amy and Reese and With you.
But I won't make those same mistakes again.
And I'm just gonna try to prove to Tyler how much he means to me, and I can only hope that he believes me.
But I believe you.
[ORGAN PLAYS.]
Aah! What is it? What is wrong? Sorry.
I heard a sound.
- It was like a - [LAUGHS.]
What? Like an animal sound.
- Something Something-big sound? - Well, I didn't - I didn't hear anything.
- Like a [SNARLING.]
No, I definitely didn't.
- Okay.
Yeah.
- I'm - [LAUGHS.]
- Good.
That's good.
- No, that's good.
That's great.
- Okay.
- My mistake.
I just thought - Shh.
Come here.
Hey.
Where have you been all night? I was stranded.
The engine died, and Anyway, it's fine now.
Okay.
Second question.
Yeah? What did you do to my garage? - I color-coordinated it.
- Yes.
I noticed.
And now I can't find anything.
You're welcome.
Hey, that's Marc's bag.
Is he here? - Not anymore.
- Came by yesterday.
Wasn't too happy about being in jail.
Mm-hmm.
But lucky for you, I fixed things.
Convinced him to call his parents.
And now he's on a bus back home, so You - You helped him! - Yeah.
- Stop.
Yes.
- Wow! Oh! Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I'm a very helpful person, Kevin.
Amazing.
And it's all because I helped you realize that you needed to help him.
I wanna hit you in the face with this wrench so bad.
- Don't.
- Just a tap.
Too Hey.
I have a reward for you.
Okay, well, I'm not a dog.
I don't need a reward.
It's not Fine.
I mean, you don't want to help repair any robots That's fine.
Robots? The skunk's got a short.
But I do think that I could jury-rig something to make it last through one performance.
YVETTE: Okay, up a little.
Just, like, to your left.
Pull it to your left and up.
Yep.
Okay, good.
Perfect.
- Yes.
Perfect.
- Yeah.
Tyler's gonna melt like a pad of butter.
- Think so? - Are you kidding me? Look at all the effort you put into this.
Once he sees those dancing nightmares up on stage, you two will be right back to the good ol' days.
Yeah.
Are you okay? - Uh - I think we're ready.
You want me to go get Tyler? Um Actually, no.
There There's a little change in plans.
I'll be right back.
I just I just need a quick word.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I-I was hoping that I could just win you back with stupid things to show you that I'm a That I'm a good friend.
But I'm not a good friend.
I've taken you for granted for a long time.
Mm-hmm.
I-I-I figured, once I found the right apology, that we could go back to the way we were.
But But I don't want to go back to the way things were.
So [BREATHES [DEEPLY.]
If you ever decide to start a new friendship with me, I just wanted to tell you that I will I'll work my my butt off because you deserve more than just some gesture of re-creating Rockaroni Pizza.
You deserve a person who strives to be as good of a friend to you as you've always been to me.
That all? Um, yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
Hmm? I love you, Keavy Metal.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
And what were you saying about Rockaroni Pizza? ["I LOVE ROCK 'N' ROLL" PLAYS.]
Whoo! Yes! Yes! Yeah! Kev, check it out! So awesome! Hey, doughboy, make yourself useful.
Start serving slices.
Heat the oven up to 700 degrees [LAUGHS.]
- Give it enough time - Mmm.
This tastes exactly like Rockaroni Pizza.
Uh, yeah.
Turns out Tyler was Eat Dat Pizza 445.
He's the one who bought all those cans of sauce from me all those years ago.
What a strange animal.
Yeah, he really is.
- Singin' I love cheese and dough - Whoo! [LAUGHS.]
Thank you for your help with everything.
I love cheese and dough It was fun.
- Even better with pepperoni - Yeah, it was, wasn't it? Mm-hmm.
Um do you want to hang out later? [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Maybe without the, um, animatronic band? [CHUCKLES.]
Mm.
Without the animatronic band? Yes.
That sounds great, though.
You can play games, yeah, yeah I love cheese and dough Put another pie in the oven, baby I love cheese and dough It's even better with pepperoni Yes! Why not just give these things to Tyler? Um, his mom doesn't trust robots.
- Smart lady.
- Yeah.
Oh.
Hey.
Um, before I forget, I just wanted to tell you both, in light of recent events, that, um, I-I just I really appreciate you.
That's very sweet.
- Yeah.
- Aww.
Thanks, Kev.
Uh, actually, I believe we have something that we need to share with you also.
Oh.
What is it? We really want to hear the band one more time.
- Hey! Yeah! - Oh, awesome.
That song is a total ear worm.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
I mean During our tweens, Tyler would hum it while he was asleep.
KEVIN: Oh.
Okay.
Let's see.
Do you have Yeah, I got it.
All right.
Great.
[YVETTE CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
Well, boys and girls, please welcome from the cheese-covered mountains of Pizzalvania [LAUGHTER.]
Peppi and the Tenderonis.
Whoo! [LAUGHS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
[BOTH SCREAMING.]
Oh, oh, oh.
[PANTING.]
Oh.
[GASPS.]
Last word.
[GASPS.]
Oh.
W-What happened? Where'd he go? Uh I-I don't know.