Kim's Convenience (2016) s02e01 Episode Script

Janet's Roommate

1 Yeah, I was just going over to his place tonight.
We're gonna Netflix and chill.
(CHUCKLES) - Thank you.
- Okay.
See you.
So, are we still on for Backgammon tonight? Or maybe, instead, you and me, we can Netflix and chill.
(DOOR CLOSES) What? Yeah, watch a Netflix movie and chill.
You see The Fugitive? Mr.
"Netflix and chill" does not mean watch a movie.
Yeah, Netflix is stream movie.
It's code for the bedroom rodeo.
Buttering the biscuit.
The beast with two backs.
- Sex.
- No! It's a very popular euphemism, if I understand correctly.
- (INHALES) - I think it's a meme.
- Yo, Umma! - Uh? What's "Netflix and chill"? Sex.
- How you know that? - Everybody know that.
I don't know that.
You is old.
Young people talk, I listen, I learn.
And I told her.
(LAUGHS) You is old, too! - What's a "meme"? - Hmm? (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) So, I'm thinking we can do a Sea Foam Green.
With an Apocalypse Sunrise for the accent wall.
- Accent wall? - Just don't buy too much.
Remember to give us phone number for new apartment.
You've got my cell number.
Not a cell number, home number.
We're getting a home phone? I don't think they make those anymore.
Yeah, for calling home.
You could just text me.
I don't want to text you, I want to talk to you.
You could wait until I come to work every day.
You know, someone called my phone the other day.
I freaked.
Who was it? I didn't answer.
What kind of weirdo calls people? I think that was me.
Can we just pick out some things for our place? - Is that okay, Appa? - Hmm.
I don't know.
Text me, I'll get back to you.
Good, thanks.
You? (SIGHS) - Dude.
- I know.
- Get it together.
- It's together.
Hey, what do you think those boots say? "I'm not a vegetarian.
" I think she broke up with Alejandro.
Fresh look, fresh start.
The time has Jung.
- Stop saying that.
- You love it.
Hey, Jung, are you free Friday night? Uh Maybe.
What did you have in mind? There's this great new rooftop restaurant downtown, impossible to get into, amazing tapas Oh, I love those little guys.
(CHUCKLES) Same! Anyway, Alejandro somehow got a Friday night reservation.
For three? (LAUGHS) Funny.
So, can you close for me? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
You're the best! Nice boots, by the way.
Oh, thanks.
They're from Spain.
Alejandro has a hook-up.
He has so many hook-ups, he's hooked up with everybody.
(DOOR CLOSES) Jung/Shannon Doomsday Clock moved one minute closer - to midnight.
- What? You gotta make a move.
And soon.
Man, she's with Alejandro.
How with? Is he on her screensaver? Does she say "we" did something this weekend? Do her eyes light up when she sees him? What are you doing? Lighting up my eyes.
You look scared.
Love is scary.
Get used to it.
Why are the cans so small? They're testers.
To test paint on at home.
But they're all the same colour.
- Thought it'd be cheaper.
- And is it? No.
Not at all, actually.
Check this out.
(DOOR CLOSES) Shower curtains.
I think those are just curtains.
Oh Still works.
I don't think I can do this.
Fine, we'll get shower curtains.
No, the apartment.
What do you mean? Second year's just so expensive, and I didn't even think about things like hydro, or food, or Internet, and the home phone.
So, it is happening? We're not getting a home phone.
And if you guys are mad at me, I get it.
No, we're not mad.
I mean, it is super last minute.
And we can't really afford it without you.
And some of us don't have any other options.
And now, we're homeless people.
And I know it sucks.
But it just feels so good for me to get this off my chest.
- Great! - Yeah.
I have been wanting to say something for weeks.
Thanks, guys.
JUNG: Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, Shannon.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately.
Thinking about you And me.
I like you.
I (CLEARS THROAT) I like, like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
What's the matter, Terence? Guy can't practice a love speech by himself? It's just There's a family waiting for the car.
So what? Are they dying? I didn't ask.
JUNG: I want to take you on a date.
Special guest, big towel.
Thanks, Mrs.
I really appreciate you guys putting me up.
But don't go in the medicine cabinet.
Yeah, he's really interested in your berry-flavored Tums.
And don't use my shampoo.
You use sham I mean, for sure.
And, Gerald, if you need snack, just take from store.
Or you can ask Janet to make.
- I'm not making you anything.
- Yeah, I know.
Why you give to him big towel? Appa, Gerald is homeless.
We have to help.
Janet is supposed to be moving out, not Gerald moving in.
- Cramp style.
- What style? Empty-nest style, uh? Kids all gone.
We can have cozy time anytime.
Morning, afternoon, even between national and local news.
Cozy time can wait.
And only temporary until they find a new roommate.
And you know, sometime, you can have cozy time before and after local news.
No, only one.
Have to choose.
Just filing my files In the filing cabinet.
Sounds about right.
Hey, look at those cuties.
Oh! My cousins? Uh, those were cats before.
I should put up some new pictures.
We got some great ones at the cottage.
"We"? Me and my cousins.
They're hilarious.
Hey, here's something else that you might find kind of funny.
Or hopefully not.
But, uh The Okay.
I've been thinking a lot about a lot of things lately.
- And - -TERENCE: Found one.
Oh, thank you so much.
No problem.
Do you need a ruler? No.
'Cause it took me all morning to find that one.
So, as I was saying Sorry, could this wait? I just remembered I have to make a super important phone call.
Yeah, sure.
(LINE RINGING) - (DEAD LINE BEEPING) - Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry I didn't call you sooner.
It says this apartment is "unique.
" What do you think that means? I think it means there's a toilet in the living room.
Uh Oh! "New carpets, minutes to subway, very intimate.
" It's a little expensive.
You know I licked that.
Thank you.
You're disgusting.
Thank you.
"Fully furnished.
" This one's fully furnished.
"Open concept loft, queen bed frame included.
" What about this one? "Cozy one bedroom plus den, "perfect for couple, hardwood's throughout" Stop! What you doing? - Looking for a place.
- Just the two of you? We couldn't find another roommate.
So, now, I have no choice but to live with Gerald.
You don't need to say it like that.
You move in with Gerald if you marry Gerald.
I was always going to live with Gerald.
What's the difference? Two girl, one boy, no problem.
One girl, one boy, that's a couple.
'Cause Semira is the only reason I don't sleep with Gerald.
Again, it's the tone.
I make my decision.
That's final.
I'm 20.
I don't need your approval.
We're getting an apartment and we're moving out.
Oh! So, you don't need my approval? Okay.
Maybe you don't need my free grocery, my paying you good money, my co-sign you lease.
- We might need that.
- Oh, my God! - (SIGHS) - -You, "Oh, my God!" - (SCREAMS) - (SCOFFS) Thanks again for the hospitality.
That's my big towel.
I not overreact.
Gerald's a pussycat.
They're just friends.
Long time ago, in the forest, young man go on a camping trip with a beautiful young woman, just as a friend.
Then, first night in tent I know this one.
He wore a goalie mask and attacked her with a canoe paddle.
No, it's romantic.
I just invite Mrs.
Kim on a camping trip with other friend.
So, you were the attacker? I just forget to invite other friend, and only bring one tent.
So, you lied in order to take advantage of an innocent young woman.
She is not innocent young woman, she is my wife.
Why you say that? Why you come that way? So I can hear what you're saying.
- (GRUMBLES) - Oh, he was just telling me about the time he pounced on you in a tent.
Why you telling him that story? - (EXCLAIMS) - Classic Stockholm syndrome.
APPA: Stockholm what? When a prisoner falls in love with her captor.
- (CHUCKLES) - He is not my captor.
That's what everyone with Stockholm syndrome says.
Point is boy and girl always end up like me and Mrs.
Kim on camping trip.
But you liked each other the whole time.
Does Janet like Gerald that way? I don't think so.
But Gerald is still man.
And if they living together, then so easy to make mistake.
And if girl make mistake, that's it.
Yeah, better to stay home.
Better for who? That's my tea.
Oh, hey.
You can leave those.
My mom will change it.
No, I don't mind.
Speaking of change, did you ever meet my cousin, Tim? No.
Funny story.
So, he's in a frat house, right? And I guess there was this hazing incident.
He's not actually legally allowed to talk about it, but the funny part is they're a roommate short.
You're pulling a Semira! Well, I still have to pledge.
Just give me one more week.
And we'll find a place.
And we can stay here till we do.
Yeah, I don't think so.
I mean, your dad's always, like, watching me and your mom won't stop asking about my ex-girlfriends.
Welcome to my life.
(SIGHS) It does feel good to get this off your chest.
I've been holding it in since lunch.
You just ate.
Yeah, I just got the call.
(SIGHS) It's a great deal, tons of character.
And a couch in the backyard.
So, when are you and, uh JANET: Gerald.
Gerald moving in? He's not.
It's just me.
I decided it's better to be on my own.
Less hassle.
No one telling me what to do, or not to do And what do Appa and Umma think about this? (SIRENS WAILING AT A DISTANCE) They haven't seen it.
It's like when you moved out.
You didn't ask them.
But I was kicked out.
Well, it was complicated.
- You could have stayed.
- Not really.
Listen, don't go doing anything stupid just to get back at Appa.
I'm not.
I'm just getting a place.
A great place.
You're not the only one who can get their own great place and do what they want.
Also, I'm going to need a van.
(SNIFFING) Mmm Galbi-jjim, just the way I like.
Just the way Janet like.
Welcome home dinner.
She never leave.
Thanks to us.
Also, goodbye to Gerald dinner.
Yeah! He use half my Old Spice.
He is a good boy.
But this is best.
Sometime, have to be strict.
That's what good parents do.
Ah If we don't say no, who say no? - Yeah.
- Hmm.
Not my job to be best friend.
APPA: Yeah, many friend, but only one parent, huh? Okay, two.
Maybe three, if step-parent.
- Hey.
You're Janet, right? - Uh Yeah.
- I'm Keith from the house.
57 Cornwall? Landlord sent me to check your references.
(SIGHS) So, you work here? Yeah.
That checks out.
Do you live at the house, too? Oh, yeah, I've been there for a while now.
I'm sort of between rooms at the moment, but you know, you're gonna love it.
There's, uh There's me, Spencey, Juniper, Gnarls, the Sams.
We've got, like, four Sams.
In a five-bedroom? Oh You got a whole bedroom? Nice.
JANET: So, it's just the extension cord? We sort of borrow power from the neighbours.
So, you'll probably want to bring a few of those.
You have any super long ones? No.
So, it's $12.
Oh! Yeah.
Hey, when you drop off your deposit, you wanna see Spencey.
He can probably pop your ankle monitor.
I don't have an ankle monitor.
Oh, yeah.
No, me neither.
See you around, roomie.
Janet, what's happening? I found a place.
It's great.
And you don't have to worry about me living with one boy, because there's five at least.
I'm assuming Juniper is a girl, but I don't know that for sure.
It should be a fun surprise.
We never did finish that conversation the other day.
(SIGHS) Or if this is a bad time No, it's not that.
Can you please close the door? Uh, yeah, sure.
- What's wrong? - I just I thought I could make it work, but it's a bad fit.
I think I was trying to be someone I'm not.
And now, I'm stuck.
Hey, it's okay, I'm here for you.
Have you told him yet? - What? - Alejandro.
Oh! 'Cause he got me the boots? The boots! - You're stuck in the boots! - Yes.
Can you please help me? Yeah, yeah.
Okay, why don't we just, um Okay, maybe, if you put two hands on the Oh, my God! Are you okay? Oh, my God! (BREATHING HEAVILY) Thank you.
You are the best! Shannon, I Oh, my God! - Alejandro.
- Hey, man.
Hey, wow Fun.
Can you pass me the boot? - Seriously? - Yeah, he's coming.
TERENCE: Yeah, she's in there.
Okay, get this back on Ow, ow.
What are you doing here, mister? I couldn't stay away.
Thank you.
I love them.
Well, I'll see you two later.
Oh, you were gonna tell me something.
Uh It's okay, man.
Pretend like I'm not here.
As if we could.
We exceeded our rental quota by 20% this month.
So, good on us.
Oh! I know.
I told you that in the staff meeting.
I guess I'm still just riding that high, you know? (CHUCKLES) Okay, back to work.
Good to see you, man.
Good to see you, too.
Well, I'm on my way.
Gotta drop off a cheque at my new place.
- Okay, have a good time.
- I will.
- Sounds good.
- Gonna be great.
- Appa! - What's this? It's her life, she know what's best.
You do you, Janet.
- That's the plan.
- Stop! You don't want this.
You don't want this! I don't want this.
I know Gerald is maybe mistake.
But ankle monitor man is definitely mistake.
Janet, you're a smart girl.
Best thing is stay home.
Is that what halmoni told you when you came here? No! She say (SPEAKING KOREAN) That is different.
I just want to move across town.
You crossed the ocean.
We have to.
To make better life for you.
Yeah, I know.
But wasn't it also for you? Because you wanted to move? I just wanted to move out.
Maybe not into that house.
And not without you guys on board.
(SIGHS) So, I'll just stay home.
Great, well, then we're all happy.
You not let me finish.
Okay, go find a good place.
For you and roommate.
Even Gerald.
Really? Thank you! But you can't use Apocalypse Sunrise as accent wall.
So terrible colour.
Ugh! Says the couple with the furry toilet seat.
How many guys come out from a coma? I felt like I had to give him his room back.
Well, Beta Kappa Phi's loss is my gain.
UMMA: Janet, come! Housewarming present.
Very best roommate.
So big.
Also, rice cooker.
Second one we have.
Now, it's yours.
Okay, thanks.
And vitamin.
All kind.
Good for two more week.
Most favourite calendar from last year, but most beautiful picture.
Different charger and cord.
Okay, now, you're just getting rid of junk.
Not just junk.
Picture of your Umma and your Appa.
That is nice.
Thank you.
And for you, Gerald.
Just me.
This is something I have now.
(SIGHS) All right, all right, all right.
I'm good.
I don't need Cut the wheel.
Yeah, cut.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, all right, all right.
Thank you.
Okay, turn the wheel.
Get close.
All right, all right, all right.
So, uh, how's the place? It's better than the last place.
Okay, see you.
(APPA SIGHS) So empty.
I miss having everyone here.
House feel like when we first move in.
But now, I can have my office, huh? Your office? No, it's my sewing room.
You never sew.
Because I don't have sewing room.
Because you don't sew.
(UMMA SIGHS) Maybe we should just leave like this in case Janet come back.
Or we can make into home theater.
Surround sound.
Cupholder in chair.
Yeah, now, you talking.
Empty-nest style! (BOTH LAUGHING) - I miss Janet.
- Yeah.
Who? (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) [Kim's Convenience theme]